WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.500 If you have your Bibles turned to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, 1 Corinthians chapter 7. 00:00:07.500 --> 00:00:12.599 As you turn there, I've. 00:00:12.599 --> 00:00:21.500 Don't really have to build this out because it's pretty much self evident to all of us that one of the greatest. 00:00:21.500 --> 00:00:26.760 Temptations upon the human race. 00:00:27.859 --> 00:00:37.600 We can say pride. We can say the pursuit of pleasure and the world and all these things, but one of the greatest temptations and that takes down so many men. 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:41.740 Some of the great men have fallen such as King David. 00:00:41.740 --> 00:00:45.340 So many pastors have fallen to this. 00:00:45.340 --> 00:00:50.600 So many people struggle in this area. 00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:51.100 It's. 00:00:51.100 --> 00:00:56.560 So much around us is the temptation to sexual immorality. 00:00:57.460 --> 00:00:59.060 Lust is such a. 00:00:59.060 --> 00:01:01.060 Great threat. 00:01:01.060 --> 00:01:02.960 To us. 00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:07.659 What is the remedy? 00:01:07.659 --> 00:01:08.859 What is a remedy? 00:01:08.859 --> 00:01:10.859 We have a remedy in this text. 00:01:10.859 --> 00:01:16.859 And it tells us how to think about sexual intimacy. 00:01:16.859 --> 00:01:19.859 Let's read it with me. 00:01:19.859 --> 00:01:24.359 We're going to read the first nine verses of chapter 7. 00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:28.560 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote. 00:01:28.560 --> 00:01:32.459 It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. 00:01:32.459 --> 00:01:40.260 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman, her own husband. 00:01:40.260 --> 00:01:50.959 Husband should give to his wife for congenial rights and likewise the wife to her husband for the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. 00:01:50.959 --> 00:01:55.560 Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:09.560 Do not deprive one another except perhaps in by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:14.060 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 00:02:14.060 --> 00:02:23.759 I wish that all were as I myself, but each now Paul was a single man, but each has his own gift from God. 00:02:24.759 --> 00:02:31.060 One of one kind and one of another to the unmarried into the widows. 00:02:31.060 --> 00:02:34.860 I say that is good for them to remain single as I am. 00:02:34.860 --> 00:02:43.460 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry for is better to marry than to burn with passion. 00:02:43.460 --> 00:02:54.960 Now chapter 7 is somewhat a transition of the first pistol to the Corinthians. 00:02:54.960 --> 00:03:01.060 The first six chapters deals with the present problems that were reported to him. 00:03:01.060 --> 00:03:08.060 And so he begins by addressing the problems that he had learned about at the Church of Corinth. 00:03:08.060 --> 00:03:14.860 But in chapter 7, he transitions to deal with the letter that he received from them. 00:03:14.860 --> 00:03:18.860 And it was a letter asking him five questions. 00:03:19.759 --> 00:03:23.159 And so he dealt with four of the problems. 00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:28.960 And if you want a basic outline of 1 Corinthians, it's four problems, five questions. 00:03:28.960 --> 00:03:36.259 First six chapters, the four problems for the rest of the book is the five questions. 00:03:36.259 --> 00:03:42.659 And the first question that we that they had is found in verse 1. 00:03:42.659 --> 00:03:55.759 And now this question we see in verse 1 is very difficult because different translators have translated this verse differently. 00:03:55.759 --> 00:04:02.759 And in this verse we see there are two major interpretive problems. 00:04:02.759 --> 00:04:05.960 One, what does it mean and who's saying it? 00:04:05.960 --> 00:04:15.960 What does it mean this phrase and two, is this the phrase said by the Corinthians and Paul's repeating it. 00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:22.759 So you wrote about this and let me address your question or is this something Paul is saying? 00:04:22.759 --> 00:04:25.759 First, what does it mean? 00:04:25.759 --> 00:04:30.959 This is difficult because different translations will translate this differently. 00:04:30.959 --> 00:04:38.459 In fact, our own translation, the ESV, does more of an interpretation than a translation of it, sadly. 00:04:38.459 --> 00:04:47.160 In the literal rendering of it in the Greek, it's literally it says a man should not touch a woman. 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:49.759 A man should not touch a woman. 00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:57.759 This is how the NASB and the King James translates this and this is a proper more literal translation of this text. 00:04:57.759 --> 00:05:10.860 A man should not touch a woman and obviously this is an idiom and an idiom is a statement that's hard to understand what it's what it means by the very words that is used like for instance, we say someone kicked a bucket. 00:05:11.160 --> 00:05:15.560 We know what that means, but what will they think two thousand years from now? 00:05:15.560 --> 00:05:17.259 Kick a bucket. 00:05:17.259 --> 00:05:18.459 What do you mean kick a bucket? 00:05:18.459 --> 00:05:20.060 You're not going to think of death. 00:05:20.060 --> 00:05:30.959 And so this was an idiom to describe something and that the scholars are divided on what this idiom means not to touch a woman. 00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:34.759 Some think that this means not to get married. 00:05:34.759 --> 00:05:47.259 Now, it's the minority position, but even some translations translates this verse as a as understanding that Paul is saying it's best not to get married. 00:05:47.259 --> 00:05:54.759 One translation reads now concerning the things you asked it is advisable for a man not to marry. 00:05:54.759 --> 00:05:59.759 Another translation says now will answer the question you asked in your letter. 00:05:59.759 --> 00:06:03.860 You asked it is best for people not to marry. 00:06:03.860 --> 00:06:11.959 Albert Barnes one commentator says that not to touch a woman is referring to marriage. 00:06:11.959 --> 00:06:28.660 Now that is a minority position, but it is a position and if that's the position then this whole text is slanted towards or against marriage, but I don't think this is a passage trying to slant us against marriage. 00:06:28.660 --> 00:06:33.560 I think it's not talking about touching a woman is not talking about marriage. 00:06:33.560 --> 00:06:36.160 I think it's talking about sexual intimacy. 00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:50.459 That's how our ESV translated in the NIV and other versions translated that way and the reason I think it's that is because it's a more probable explanation of the idiom. 00:06:50.459 --> 00:06:54.560 If you had to take a guess, what does it mean not to touch a woman? 00:06:54.560 --> 00:07:09.860 If you had to make a guess or stab at that though, you couldn't be certain you would probably come to the conclusion of talking about sexual relationships that that's something that would seem to be implied in not touching a woman. 00:07:09.860 --> 00:07:12.860 It is kind of like our idiom today. 00:07:12.860 --> 00:07:16.860 I'm talking about sleeping with a woman or someone slept with a woman. 00:07:16.860 --> 00:07:19.660 We mean more than just sleeping. 00:07:19.660 --> 00:07:22.360 We mean more than just touching or a handshake. 00:07:22.360 --> 00:07:24.060 You know, this is when you say don't touch a woman. 00:07:24.060 --> 00:07:30.959 It's not just how about don't give women a handshake is talking about something more deep than that or sexual than that. 00:07:30.959 --> 00:07:44.860 But also think it means that by the immediate context, six times in verses 3 verses 2 3 4 all the way to verse not sexual relationships is mentioned or alluded to. 00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:56.459 So obviously this is a big part of the context, but I think more than that the broader context of the whole epistle of first Corinthians lends us to this conclusion. 00:07:56.459 --> 00:08:06.160 Now in chapter 5 we learned that they were being tolerant towards sexual sins that even unbelievers don't tolerate. 00:08:07.160 --> 00:08:14.160 And then in chapter 6 we learned that many of them even church members were justifying going to prostitutes. 00:08:14.160 --> 00:08:29.360 So obviously this was a problem within the church and in chapter 6 there was a passage where Paul says I have previously wrote to you and not to associate with the sexual immoral person. 00:08:29.360 --> 00:08:31.959 So Paul has written them a letter. 00:08:31.959 --> 00:08:36.360 We don't have that letter, but in in that letter that he wrote them before this letter. 00:08:36.360 --> 00:08:38.960 He warns them against that. 00:08:38.960 --> 00:08:42.059 So this is a huge issue in the church. 00:08:42.059 --> 00:08:52.159 Now last week we talked about why would a church a church of the Living God tolerate or look past such sins among its membership? 00:08:52.159 --> 00:08:57.360 And I made a big deal about Gnosticism being influencing the church. 00:08:57.360 --> 00:08:58.259 I still think that's true. 00:08:58.259 --> 00:09:00.059 I think that's a big influence on the church. 00:09:00.059 --> 00:09:13.360 But what I also should have said last week and I'll remedy in this sermon probably the largest influence upon this is the fact that they were in the largest metropolitan city outside of Rome. 00:09:13.360 --> 00:09:25.059 They were in Corinth and they this city with all the debauchery that would take place in the city was accustomed to sexual immorality. 00:09:25.059 --> 00:09:27.259 Stustdest it was commonplace. 00:09:27.259 --> 00:09:33.559 Now you got to remember this is the first time the gospel has come to the Roman world. 00:09:34.360 --> 00:09:40.960 This is a time when such deviance was so common that it was just viewed as normal. 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:46.960 God had left the Gentiles in darkness for years. 00:09:46.960 --> 00:09:56.860 You can read the secular literature concerning this topic and realize that they didn't have much morals at all within society. 00:09:56.860 --> 00:09:59.460 It's amazing. 00:09:59.460 --> 00:10:01.659 In fact, our day is not far from that. 00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:07.860 I when I was young I I knew young ladies. 00:10:07.860 --> 00:10:14.559 I knew them that soon as they hit puberty their parents put them on birth control. 00:10:14.559 --> 00:10:17.259 I mean, what is that saying? 00:10:17.259 --> 00:10:20.759 It's just like this is just to be expected. 00:10:20.759 --> 00:10:24.860 And so this is the way the Corinthians are thinking. 00:10:24.860 --> 00:10:26.360 This is their background. 00:10:26.360 --> 00:10:29.460 This is the influence upon them in the church. 00:10:30.460 --> 00:10:33.559 And so Paul is basically saying don't do this. 00:10:33.559 --> 00:10:34.360 Don't do that. 00:10:34.360 --> 00:10:44.860 You know, he's he's trying to correct their morality and you can imagine under the context that this Corinthians were begin to go wait a minute. 00:10:44.860 --> 00:10:48.360 You're flat out against sexual intimacy. 00:10:48.360 --> 00:10:53.159 You're saying that sexual intimacy is no good. 00:10:53.159 --> 00:10:56.259 And so they're asking Paul a question. 00:10:56.259 --> 00:10:57.860 I think he's they're asking the question. 00:10:57.860 --> 00:11:00.559 Is it good to have sexual intimacy? 00:11:00.559 --> 00:11:02.960 Is this good or is this bad? 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:05.059 So you're saying it's bad. 00:11:05.059 --> 00:11:07.559 And so there may be coming to the conclusion. 00:11:07.559 --> 00:11:09.159 It's bad altogether. 00:11:09.159 --> 00:11:14.659 And so this leads to the second interpretive problem. 00:11:14.659 --> 00:11:19.259 Who's saying this is good for not for a man not to touch a woman. 00:11:19.259 --> 00:11:29.360 Now, this is a statement, but I think it's it was a statement that Paul I personally think it's a statement that he's rephrasing their question. 00:11:29.360 --> 00:11:35.559 I think they were asking him is it good? 00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:39.460 For a man to touch a woman or is that bad? 00:11:39.460 --> 00:11:49.360 And in a simple way of saying it. 00:11:49.360 --> 00:11:52.860 Should a man touch a woman or not? 00:11:52.860 --> 00:11:57.059 Is intimacy good or bad? 00:11:57.759 --> 00:11:58.759 That's their question. 00:11:58.759 --> 00:12:02.759 Now, if you understand the question, this text makes a lot of sense. 00:12:02.759 --> 00:12:06.759 If you don't understand the question, you can get tripped up in this passage. 00:12:06.759 --> 00:12:10.659 But hopefully we've diagnosed the question properly. 00:12:10.659 --> 00:12:14.860 Is sexual intimacy good or bad? 00:12:14.860 --> 00:12:16.059 That's their question. 00:12:16.059 --> 00:12:18.559 Now, Paul is going to answer it. 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:23.259 And he's going to say, let me first answer it for married people. 00:12:23.259 --> 00:12:26.460 Then let me answer it for single people. 00:12:27.259 --> 00:12:32.059 Now, if you understand the context, then these texts unfold itself pretty easily. 00:12:32.059 --> 00:12:35.659 So how about married people? 00:12:35.659 --> 00:12:37.960 Is it good or bad? 00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:40.659 Is sexual intimacy good or bad? 00:12:40.659 --> 00:12:42.960 What advice does he have? 00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:45.360 For this topic? 00:12:45.360 --> 00:12:51.159 In fact, I'm titling this sermon biblical counsel on a touchy issue. 00:12:55.259 --> 00:12:58.159 So he's going to give counsel to married folk. 00:12:58.159 --> 00:13:01.960 He gives three words of encouragement or counsel. 00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:05.659 And so if you're married, listen up. 00:13:05.659 --> 00:13:08.860 If you're single, wait to the next point. 00:13:08.860 --> 00:13:12.860 First of all, counsel number one. 00:13:12.860 --> 00:13:16.960 He encourages us to be intimate. 00:13:16.960 --> 00:13:20.960 Encourages husbands and wife to be intimate. 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:31.559 Verse 2 says, but because of the temptation to sexual morality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:36.059 Basically, he's saying. 00:13:36.059 --> 00:13:39.360 You should be intimate. 00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:48.259 The phrase to have his own wife or to have his own her own husband is another idiom of the day. 00:13:48.259 --> 00:13:55.159 And this idiom means basically to have your wife means to be sexually intimate with your wife. 00:13:55.159 --> 00:14:04.159 This idiom is could be verified in extra biblical Greek or Roman literature, but I think the context bears this out as well. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:12.059 And the next verse it talks about husbands should give to his wife her congenial rights and life-wise the wife to her husband. 00:14:12.059 --> 00:14:14.059 So clearly this is what is talking about. 00:14:14.059 --> 00:14:15.759 So here this is a command. 00:14:15.759 --> 00:14:19.059 To be intimate with your spouse. 00:14:19.059 --> 00:14:29.960 Because of temptation for sexual immorality, make sure you're satisfying your sexual desires within the lawful bounds of marriage. 00:14:29.960 --> 00:14:41.960 Here is the boundaries if you would the confines of enjoying this, you know, it's not just I'm not anti this as the Corinthians may have thought. 00:14:41.960 --> 00:14:46.559 Paul was saying you're saying we can't do this and this is not good. 00:14:46.559 --> 00:14:49.059 He said no, I'm not saying you can't do it altogether. 00:14:49.059 --> 00:14:51.059 I'm saying you can't do it outside of marriage. 00:14:51.059 --> 00:14:53.059 It's wrong outside of marriage. 00:14:53.159 --> 00:15:00.559 It's immoral outside of marriage, but it's perfectly acceptable and even good within marriage. 00:15:00.559 --> 00:15:09.159 He could be saying this just as sex is wrong outside of marriage. 00:15:09.159 --> 00:15:12.460 Marriage is wrong without sex. 00:15:12.460 --> 00:15:26.460 You see Hebrews 13 forces marriage is honorable in all things and the bed undefiled but horror mongers and adultrous God will judge God's angry with sexual immorality outside of marriage. 00:15:26.460 --> 00:15:30.659 That's wrong and evil, but it's not wrong. 00:15:30.659 --> 00:15:33.460 In fact, it's honorable and good inside of marriage. 00:15:33.460 --> 00:15:37.659 So this is the first advice that we have. 00:15:37.659 --> 00:15:44.159 We have a vice by God himself to be intimate if we are married. 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:55.159 The second advice that he gives us are the biblical gift counsel for married people is that we should not withhold ourselves from each other. 00:15:55.159 --> 00:15:56.360 We see this in verse 3. 00:15:56.360 --> 00:16:01.860 The husband should give to his wife her congenital rides and likewise a wife to her husband. 00:16:01.860 --> 00:16:10.659 The NIV reads the husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife and likewise the wife to her husband. 00:16:10.659 --> 00:16:13.759 I like how the King James translates this. 00:16:15.360 --> 00:16:23.759 Let her husband render to his wife the affection do her and likewise also the wife to her husband. 00:16:23.759 --> 00:16:27.259 The King James kind of has this oxymoron. 00:16:27.259 --> 00:16:33.759 This kind of this seems like a contradiction like I see hot you know, I was like that can't both be true. 00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:37.159 He's like be affectionate carry out your duty. 00:16:37.159 --> 00:16:40.759 You have a duty to be affectionate. 00:16:40.759 --> 00:16:58.860 You have a duty like wait wait wait isn't affection just something I feel like it when I want to and if I don't feel like it then it's not really affections and if I don't feel love and if I don't want to love and if I don't if I'm not, you know, feeling the mood. 00:16:58.860 --> 00:17:01.259 I just I'm not obligated to do something. 00:17:01.259 --> 00:17:03.159 I don't feel like doing. 00:17:03.159 --> 00:17:16.559 I mean we we justify all kinds of inabilities or what things we don't do we justify, you know, good works even in all areas of our life because we don't feel like doing something. 00:17:16.559 --> 00:17:19.960 And we know where to obey with a happy heart. 00:17:19.960 --> 00:17:20.759 We tell our kids. 00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:24.359 I want you to obey with a happy heart and we think well, I don't have a happy heart therefore. 00:17:24.359 --> 00:17:30.359 I'm not going to obey and if I obey with an unhappy heart then it's hypocritical and I don't want to be a hypocrite. 00:17:30.359 --> 00:17:31.359 So I'm not going to do it. 00:17:31.359 --> 00:17:40.759 And we justify our inactivity when we see that there's a duty and it's not just a duty to do something in other places. 00:17:40.759 --> 00:17:42.359 We have a duty to law. 00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:50.559 We have a duty to fulfill our responsibilities and this is the point that Paul is making out. 00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:53.359 He's not blasting sexual intimacy. 00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:54.259 All right. 00:17:54.259 --> 00:17:55.359 So hey, this is his evil. 00:17:55.359 --> 00:17:57.359 No, he's actually saying to America. 00:17:57.359 --> 00:17:58.859 You've got to do this. 00:17:58.859 --> 00:18:00.160 This is honorable. 00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:00.759 This is right. 00:18:00.759 --> 00:18:01.559 This is good. 00:18:01.559 --> 00:18:03.759 Don't refrain from doing this. 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:05.359 You have responsibility. 00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:15.559 And in this we can see an application is that we should be unselfish not focused upon ourselves but upon our spouses. 00:18:15.559 --> 00:18:19.859 And then we see the reason why we see in verse 4. 00:18:19.859 --> 00:18:24.259 This is because married couples no longer have the rights over their own bodies. 00:18:24.259 --> 00:18:25.059 Look at verse 4. 00:18:25.059 --> 00:18:34.759 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does likewise. 00:18:34.759 --> 00:18:59.559 The husband does not have authority over his own body, but the black doves, you know, sometimes a Artist music artists will write a song and they'll sell the rights to that song to record label and they'll get a big chunk of money, you know, upfront and they go, okay, I made my money, but the record label will make all the money there for after you know, because they own the rights. 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:06.160 And five, ten years later that it could come into a big hit than the artist is like, wait a minute. 00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:13.359 I didn't know is going to make that much money and they regret selling their rights, but nevertheless, they don't have rights to it anymore. 00:19:13.359 --> 00:19:14.359 It's not there's anymore. 00:19:14.359 --> 00:19:18.460 And I think why I wrote that I should be able to make profit from that. 00:19:18.460 --> 00:19:20.359 So no, you don't want it anymore. 00:19:20.359 --> 00:19:21.759 Your rights are gone. 00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:24.059 No, you don't realize this. 00:19:24.059 --> 00:19:25.960 Maybe you don't, but you need to realize this. 00:19:25.960 --> 00:19:27.559 All of us is when you get married. 00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:29.259 You're giving up your rights to your body. 00:19:29.259 --> 00:19:32.559 You know, your body is not yours anymore. 00:19:32.559 --> 00:19:34.859 It doesn't belong to you anymore. 00:19:34.859 --> 00:19:36.859 Now you think is my body my choice? 00:19:36.859 --> 00:19:38.259 You hear that in the world all the time. 00:19:38.259 --> 00:19:42.359 My body my choice with that doesn't fly with God inside of marriage. 00:19:42.359 --> 00:19:45.359 You can't say it's my body anymore. 00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:47.359 You become one flesh. 00:19:47.359 --> 00:19:50.559 Your body is not your own anymore. 00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:53.460 It won't it belongs to God because you the temple you are the temple. 00:19:53.460 --> 00:20:00.160 God is bought you with a price, but to your body has been given over given to your spouse. 00:20:00.160 --> 00:20:03.160 And so you don't have the right to go. 00:20:03.160 --> 00:20:05.259 This is something you can't have. 00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:15.460 When is never let me just say this clearly to for two husbands and wives never use sexual intimacy. 00:20:15.460 --> 00:20:19.559 As a means of manipulation. 00:20:19.559 --> 00:20:23.259 God's not pleased with that. 00:20:23.259 --> 00:20:31.259 You know, if that's just not way God has designed marriage rewarding in each other. 00:20:31.259 --> 00:20:39.160 I'll do this and now it's a healthy marriage according to the apostle Paul will contain a healthy and active level of intimacy. 00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:43.460 The third bit of counsel he gives us. 00:20:43.460 --> 00:20:45.759 Is. 00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:49.859 Wind or how we should refrain. 00:20:49.859 --> 00:21:03.460 That is if this is a the normalcy of marriage consists of this is there a time of refraining and not being intimate with one another. 00:21:04.460 --> 00:21:08.160 Well, we know there can be health issues that come up. 00:21:08.160 --> 00:21:10.759 There can be some legitimate difficulties. 00:21:10.759 --> 00:21:17.859 Everybody needs to be patient understanding and not forceful in any any way. 00:21:17.859 --> 00:21:19.960 God would never approve of any. 00:21:19.960 --> 00:21:23.559 Dominarian forceful activities. 00:21:23.559 --> 00:21:36.160 But there are times that may be for men and husband and wife to refrain from being intimate, but there are three things that Paul says you need to do if you're going to refrain. 00:21:36.160 --> 00:21:40.059 Should you shouldn't refrain, but if you do refrain. 00:21:40.059 --> 00:21:44.460 Three things you need it needs to be consensual. 00:21:44.460 --> 00:21:48.660 We always hear you know, I had that was consensual. 00:21:48.660 --> 00:21:52.059 Well, hey, if you don't it needs to be consensual. 00:21:52.059 --> 00:21:53.559 You need to be in agreement. 00:21:53.559 --> 00:21:54.660 We see that in verse five. 00:21:54.660 --> 00:22:01.160 Do not deprive one another do not do that except perhaps by agreement. 00:22:01.859 --> 00:22:08.759 So if you're going to go a period of time where you say this is not what we're going to do it needs to be by an agreement. 00:22:08.759 --> 00:22:10.859 You can't just one party. 00:22:10.859 --> 00:22:15.160 The husband can't make that decision on his own and the wife can't make that decision on her. 00:22:15.160 --> 00:22:19.160 Oh, this is a unified decision. 00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:25.660 Second thing that that should govern us is it that needs to be for a limited time. 00:22:25.660 --> 00:22:30.859 God is not given husbands and wife that you don't have permission to go. 00:22:30.859 --> 00:22:34.660 Okay, we're going to be celibate and live together for the rest of our days. 00:22:34.660 --> 00:22:44.660 You know, for whatever reason we just we do better if we don't live in the same bedroom and that we would do better if we just quote co-inhabitate and you take care of the bills. 00:22:44.660 --> 00:22:48.960 I do this and we're good business partners at home, but we're not going to be intimate. 00:22:48.960 --> 00:22:51.460 We're not going to love each other in such a way. 00:22:51.460 --> 00:22:54.259 Paul says no, that's not an option. 00:22:54.259 --> 00:22:55.660 That's not an option. 00:22:55.660 --> 00:22:56.759 That's not a marriage. 00:22:57.859 --> 00:23:04.859 He says if you do. Refrain only for a limited designated time. 00:23:04.859 --> 00:23:05.660 You need to have a time. 00:23:05.660 --> 00:23:12.460 So we'll we're coming back together after this amount of time and the third thing that governs this is it needs to be for a purpose. 00:23:12.460 --> 00:23:18.759 Look, it says for a limited time that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again. 00:23:18.759 --> 00:23:22.559 So one legitimate purpose to refrain is fasting and pray. 00:23:22.559 --> 00:23:25.160 You got a need and you want to fast. 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:29.660 This is a time to withhold from all kinds of human pleasure. 00:23:29.660 --> 00:23:47.259 Might not want to eat not might not want to enjoy other activities that are fun and you want to set some time for prayer where this is a time to refrain from being intimate, but this is by agreement for a purpose and for a limited time. 00:23:47.259 --> 00:23:51.259 The fourth bit of counsel he gives to us married people. 00:23:52.059 --> 00:23:56.359 The Apostle Paul does is he tells us to seek to protect one another. 00:23:56.359 --> 00:24:11.359 Look at verse 5, but then come together so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control that comes back to where he begun at the beginning in verse 2 because of sexual in morality because of the temptation. 00:24:11.359 --> 00:24:22.960 The temptations around us for everywhere and one of the provision that God has given us to protect us from our own lack of self-control is marriage. 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:32.859 So if we come back together because Satan is going to tempt us, especially if we lack strength in the willpower to regulate our appetites. 00:24:32.859 --> 00:24:37.759 And this gives us counsel that we're to seek to protect one another. 00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:46.660 If you want to love your your wife or you want to love your husband seek to protect him from temptation from the outside. 00:24:46.660 --> 00:24:48.660 There's temptations everywhere. 00:24:49.460 --> 00:24:52.960 And God is a here's where this could be satisfied. 00:24:52.960 --> 00:24:56.859 This is where you're to enjoy the pleasures that God has given us. 00:24:56.859 --> 00:24:59.160 It's not bad or evil. 00:24:59.160 --> 00:25:01.160 You don't have to have this kind of mindset. 00:25:01.160 --> 00:25:05.559 I'm up here attending and maybe if we're going to appropriate this will be fine. 00:25:05.559 --> 00:25:09.059 No, God is not has that attitude towards this. 00:25:09.059 --> 00:25:13.859 It's to be celebrated is to be honored is to be something to be treasured. 00:25:13.859 --> 00:25:21.460 It is something to be fostered is something to to seek to glorify God in inside of marriage, of course. 00:25:21.460 --> 00:25:26.259 But in seeking to protect your spouse. 00:25:26.259 --> 00:25:34.059 So don't don't but according to the Word of God do not withhold from each other this. 00:25:34.059 --> 00:25:37.960 This is important. 00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:42.759 So here's the counsel that Paul has concerning sexual intimacy when it comes to marriage. 00:25:42.759 --> 00:25:44.559 So he's not against it. 00:25:44.559 --> 00:25:46.059 That's the point. 00:25:46.759 --> 00:25:48.059 Should a man touch a woman? 00:25:48.059 --> 00:25:53.660 Well, the answer if he's married then he better. 00:25:53.660 --> 00:25:55.259 Yes. 00:25:55.259 --> 00:26:02.759 However, he turns from counseling married folk to looking to the singles now. 00:26:02.759 --> 00:26:15.059 I'm fully aware that this is somewhat of a difficult sermon to preach in a mixed audience like this and I'm fully aware that that I'm hoping most of you are bored to death. 00:26:15.759 --> 00:26:18.460 But the ones that are old enough to not be bored. 00:26:18.460 --> 00:26:20.759 You may be thinking Ben. 00:26:20.759 --> 00:26:21.960 I want to be married. 00:26:21.960 --> 00:26:26.960 I personally I remember turning 21. 00:26:26.960 --> 00:26:32.660 The Lord did a work in my life and I was like the loneliness hit me like a rock. 00:26:32.660 --> 00:26:35.759 It I mean I was up till 20s. 00:26:35.759 --> 00:26:36.960 I was like I didn't think about marriage. 00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:44.160 I didn't want to be married per se but man when the Lord did it work in me and I wanted to be chased. 00:26:44.460 --> 00:26:45.859 I wanted to be pure. 00:26:45.859 --> 00:26:47.559 I wanted to have clean eyes. 00:26:47.559 --> 00:26:50.460 I wanted to live holy before the Lord. 00:26:50.460 --> 00:26:54.559 You know what I wanted when I wanted all the holiness to go along with my Christian walk. 00:26:54.559 --> 00:26:56.559 I wanted to be married. 00:26:56.559 --> 00:27:08.460 Badly really bad and I remember thinking to myself the Bible says is not good for man to be alone. 00:27:08.460 --> 00:27:19.059 And I pray had pray like many of you single people do and so here Paul has a word for you who are single who are listening to this and you're thinking Amen. 00:27:19.059 --> 00:27:20.160 I want to be married. 00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:23.859 First of all, he wants to give you advice and say okay be patient. 00:27:23.859 --> 00:27:26.660 Now marriage is good. 00:27:26.660 --> 00:27:33.960 But don't don't minimize the blessing of being single. 00:27:33.960 --> 00:27:37.059 This is what he says in verse 6. 00:27:37.059 --> 00:27:40.960 Now as a concession not a command. 00:27:41.859 --> 00:27:47.259 I say this now this is what he says like he's about to say I'm not going to bind your conscience that you need to be single. 00:27:47.259 --> 00:27:52.059 Fact you may need to get married and I'll say that a little bit later. 00:27:52.059 --> 00:27:58.160 But I'm saying that from my perspective as one who is single the Apostle Paul is saying. 00:27:58.160 --> 00:28:02.259 I think there's a blessing to be single. 00:28:02.259 --> 00:28:04.960 He says I say in verse 7. 00:28:04.960 --> 00:28:07.059 I wish that all were as myself. 00:28:07.059 --> 00:28:15.059 Now I understand he says with each one has his own gift from God one of one kind and one of another. 00:28:15.059 --> 00:28:22.559 I understand that but I would think you would be thankful if you did have the same gift that I had singledess. 00:28:22.559 --> 00:28:24.960 He says to the unmarried in the wittles. 00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:28.859 I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 00:28:28.859 --> 00:28:32.859 Now Paul is not condemning marriage. 00:28:32.859 --> 00:28:36.960 He's not even saying marriage is less of a state than single deaths. 00:28:36.960 --> 00:28:42.460 But he is saying if you are single don't rush to get married just to be getting married. 00:28:42.460 --> 00:28:46.259 Yes, you need self-control and restraint. 00:28:46.259 --> 00:28:54.759 You need to be pure in your hearts and your thoughts and in your in your motives and with your eyes and all that has to be there if you're single. 00:28:54.759 --> 00:29:17.559 But don't rush past the singleness because there are various blessings that he's going to get into this and I'm not going to get into today because we'll see it in the weeks ahead of the various blessings of being single in the principal blessing of being single is that you can have more time and energy focusing on serving the Lord. 00:29:17.559 --> 00:29:20.859 It's just simply true. 00:29:20.859 --> 00:29:23.859 I know some of us married people want to walk up against that. 00:29:23.859 --> 00:29:45.660 I know no, I can do more married and well, maybe we can because we have companionship and there's benefits of being married if we're not gifted and single this but Paul is going to make a strong case that if you don't have a wife to attend to and a family to care for you can be more singly minded in serving the Lord. 00:29:45.660 --> 00:30:01.059 And so that is one of the things if you're single today and you're listening to the sermon don't run past singleness. To see it as a blessing from the Lord of view your singleness. 00:30:01.059 --> 00:30:06.859 I know you can be lonely and it can be difficult and there can be all kinds of temptations upon you, but don't run past it. 00:30:07.160 --> 00:30:08.460 Use this time. 00:30:08.460 --> 00:30:16.259 I'll give another word at the end of the message, but use this time not just scouting out women or men. 00:30:16.259 --> 00:30:24.259 Don't give your energy towards just trying to remedy the fact that you're single. 00:30:24.259 --> 00:30:27.259 Seek first the Kingdom of God. 00:30:27.259 --> 00:30:27.960 Here's the vice. 00:30:27.960 --> 00:30:29.259 I give so many people. 00:30:29.259 --> 00:30:36.160 I've given it a hundred times to different people my advice to you if you're single is run as fast as you can to the Lord. 00:30:37.059 --> 00:30:38.160 I don't look back. 00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:43.059 I don't run as fast as you can to marriage run as fast as you can to the Lord. 00:30:43.059 --> 00:30:49.960 And when you see a young you men when you see a young attractive lady running as fast as you are to the Lord. 00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:52.259 Turn over and go high. 00:30:52.259 --> 00:30:58.660 But if you run to the Lord. 00:30:58.660 --> 00:31:04.059 If you run to the Lord Lord says I know you need everything that you need. 00:31:04.059 --> 00:31:07.059 I know you need food and clothing and provisions. 00:31:07.059 --> 00:31:08.759 Don't worry about these things. 00:31:08.759 --> 00:31:33.559 That's what the Gentiles worry about for you seek first the Kingdom of God you focus on running to the Lord be a bit focus on being a potential good husband one day about being a spiritual leader by learning to be a strong Christian single man learn what it is to be a godly wife by learning what it means to be really intimate with the Lord through your personal prayer life and devotion to Christ. 00:31:34.559 --> 00:31:36.559 Beautify yourself. 00:31:36.559 --> 00:31:39.259 So your godliness. 00:31:39.259 --> 00:31:44.559 And use your singleness to advance quicker and faster. 00:31:44.559 --> 00:31:46.660 This is not a time to go. 00:31:46.660 --> 00:31:48.559 Let's let it be over quickly. 00:31:48.559 --> 00:31:53.759 The second advice is if you're struggling with self-control. 00:31:53.759 --> 00:32:06.460 And if you recognize that you don't have the gift of singleness as Paul told his disciples after he talked about how divorce is wrong in the disciples as well as best we don't get married. 00:32:06.460 --> 00:32:08.660 No one gets married if can't get divorce. 00:32:08.660 --> 00:32:21.359 He goes well some can receive this but others cannot receive it and the Lord says only to those who have been given who have the gift of sealness can receive such a word. 00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:29.859 And so if you haven't been gifted with the gift of singleness then it is good to get married. 00:32:30.660 --> 00:32:35.960 The Bible tells us he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. 00:32:35.960 --> 00:32:40.960 Let no one tell you it's wrong to want to be married. 00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:44.960 Now I told you not to rush into it. 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:52.259 I told you not to make that your idol but don't let no one say that it's just a un-sinful thing to want to be married. 00:32:52.259 --> 00:32:55.960 If you're not have the gift. 00:32:57.059 --> 00:33:00.759 Then God says he's made us. He's made us. 00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:05.259 He's designed us in the way he designed Adam was to be incomplete. 00:33:05.259 --> 00:33:06.960 He needed his other half. 00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:09.460 It wasn't good for man to be alone. 00:33:09.460 --> 00:33:14.259 So he made a partner for him for a reason. 00:33:14.259 --> 00:33:18.460 So never fake marriage is a bad thing. 00:33:18.460 --> 00:33:20.660 This is what the world says about marriage. 00:33:20.660 --> 00:33:24.160 We're living a time that can be less and less marriages. 00:33:24.660 --> 00:33:26.960 Yeah, obviously there's more and more sexual immorality. 00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:35.160 But let not us have a negative view of the sanctity and the honorableness of marriage. 00:33:35.160 --> 00:33:40.160 So if you need to get married look to be married. 00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:42.660 Now, let me close. 00:33:42.660 --> 00:33:49.660 Let me close with some basic pastoral Council. 00:33:53.460 --> 00:33:57.359 Let me begin with those who are struggling singles. 00:33:57.359 --> 00:34:00.559 For the struggling singles among us. 00:34:00.559 --> 00:34:05.559 My first counsel to you is don't feed the fire. 00:34:05.559 --> 00:34:12.460 Verse 8 says to the unmarried in the widows. 00:34:12.460 --> 00:34:16.659 I say that it is good for them to remain as I am. 00:34:16.659 --> 00:34:25.960 But then verse 9 says, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passions. 00:34:25.960 --> 00:34:29.360 This word burn literally means to be set on fire. 00:34:29.360 --> 00:34:34.260 To be burning with the is almost like this consuming passion. 00:34:34.260 --> 00:34:36.360 That's it's destroying you. 00:34:36.360 --> 00:34:51.360 So that's not a good state to be in to be in that it's like you're going to you're not going to have self-control and restraint. So it's best not to live in that state of passion. 00:34:51.360 --> 00:34:59.559 So if you're single and you have no Avenue, you don't have a proper sphere to exercise that passion. 00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:01.760 And then don't feed it. 00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:04.559 Don't feed the fire. 00:35:04.559 --> 00:35:05.460 Don't feed the beast. 00:35:05.460 --> 00:35:07.059 How much wood can a fire burn? 00:35:07.059 --> 00:35:12.059 Fire is never satisfied. 00:35:12.059 --> 00:35:13.860 No matter how much wood you put on it. 00:35:14.159 --> 00:35:17.760 That's the problem with pornography. 00:35:17.760 --> 00:35:21.659 You know, you don't go. 00:35:21.659 --> 00:35:22.860 I just going to dabble. 00:35:22.860 --> 00:35:24.460 I'm just going to dabble. 00:35:24.460 --> 00:35:25.460 It's going to be okay. 00:35:25.460 --> 00:35:26.360 One little dabble. 00:35:26.360 --> 00:35:36.559 It's like no you all you do increase the desire which increases the more and it's like you're feeding the fire. 00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:40.960 So what do you do if you want to have self-control and self-restraint? 00:35:42.960 --> 00:35:44.360 Cut it off at the source. 00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:46.360 Be careful. 00:35:46.360 --> 00:35:50.460 Honestly, I'm saying this as a pastor who loves you. 00:35:50.460 --> 00:35:52.760 Especially young men. 00:35:52.760 --> 00:35:56.059 And young women. 00:35:56.059 --> 00:36:01.260 You have a device in your hands. 00:36:01.260 --> 00:36:02.159 It's dangerous. 00:36:02.159 --> 00:36:08.760 The Bible says it's better to go to hell with no eyes than when the two eyes. 00:36:10.659 --> 00:36:11.760 It's better. 00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:13.460 I said that completely wrong. 00:36:13.460 --> 00:36:18.460 It's better to go to heaven with no eyes than the hell with both eyes. 00:36:18.460 --> 00:36:26.960 If that's true concerning our eyeballs, it's definitely true concerning a little device. 00:36:26.960 --> 00:36:29.460 You don't have to have those. 00:36:29.460 --> 00:36:32.460 If it's a snare to you. 00:36:32.460 --> 00:36:35.260 If it's a temptation to you. 00:36:35.260 --> 00:36:38.059 Then throw it into the sea. 00:36:38.059 --> 00:36:40.360 I'm sick break it apart. 00:36:40.460 --> 00:36:41.860 Get a hammer after it. 00:36:41.860 --> 00:36:44.360 I'm serious. 00:36:44.360 --> 00:36:46.159 I'm not so whether you're being hop. 00:36:46.159 --> 00:36:47.659 Brolic. 00:36:47.659 --> 00:36:49.059 I'm being exaggerating. 00:36:49.059 --> 00:36:49.760 No, I'm not. 00:36:49.760 --> 00:36:51.360 Not. 00:36:51.360 --> 00:36:55.760 Don't allow yourself to wonder in your thoughts. 00:36:55.760 --> 00:37:12.159 Bible tells us in Colossians 3 put to death therefore what is earthly in you sexual immorality impurity passions evil desires those things put to death starve it out single people starve it out. 00:37:12.159 --> 00:37:14.460 Have nothing to do with it. 00:37:14.460 --> 00:37:15.760 Don't entertain it. 00:37:15.760 --> 00:37:17.860 Stop it before it. 00:37:17.860 --> 00:37:20.460 Takes your mind over. 00:37:20.460 --> 00:37:23.360 Also, I tell you to have accountability. 00:37:23.360 --> 00:37:26.559 We need accountability. 00:37:26.559 --> 00:37:28.960 It's amazing what we do when we know we're being watched. 00:37:28.960 --> 00:37:35.960 It really is if you have a video camera watching you you behave differently. 00:37:35.960 --> 00:37:39.860 And we know God is watching but sometimes we forget. 00:37:39.860 --> 00:37:45.960 So we need to know that people are watching us and I'll say something that's scary, but it's true. 00:37:45.960 --> 00:37:48.159 For all of you. 00:37:48.159 --> 00:37:57.659 I'm going to try to scare you a little bit young men, but I believe everything you do on your phone everything you search everything you look at is has a history to it. 00:37:57.659 --> 00:38:03.260 It's not you know, you could delete it and you can act like you didn't look at it. 00:38:03.260 --> 00:38:05.760 But there is a record. 00:38:05.760 --> 00:38:08.159 Is a timestamp. 00:38:08.159 --> 00:38:13.360 And it's recoverable by someone who might want to do you damage. 00:38:13.360 --> 00:38:16.960 Especially seminary students. 00:38:16.960 --> 00:38:18.059 You don't understand. 00:38:18.059 --> 00:38:23.659 So what you may look at at three years ago could come back and get you as a pastor. 00:38:23.659 --> 00:38:34.960 There's no room for for for playing around with such evil deadly sins that will destroy society. 00:38:34.960 --> 00:38:36.059 It has to destroy us. 00:38:36.059 --> 00:38:37.260 It destroys marriages. 00:38:37.260 --> 00:38:40.559 Cut it out completely. 00:38:40.559 --> 00:38:42.260 In our seminary. 00:38:42.260 --> 00:38:44.460 We have a no tolerance policy. 00:38:44.460 --> 00:38:47.260 It's important. 00:38:47.260 --> 00:38:52.659 It's extremely important men to fight these things. 00:38:52.659 --> 00:38:56.960 Have been a I can tell you there's victory. 00:38:56.960 --> 00:38:59.659 There is victory in Jesus. 00:39:01.159 --> 00:39:08.260 There is ability to walk cleanly and purely you can't make a covenant with your eyes not to look upon a virgin. 00:39:08.260 --> 00:39:11.559 I Joe did you can't be successful in this. 00:39:11.559 --> 00:39:13.260 This is not a pipe dream. 00:39:13.260 --> 00:39:21.659 You can walk impurity and holiness and chased your thinking and in your life. 00:39:21.659 --> 00:39:27.059 Again, I said earlier draw near to the Lord. 00:39:27.360 --> 00:39:31.360 The best remedy against sin is walking in holiness with God. 00:39:31.360 --> 00:39:37.260 Don't focus on the I can't I can't can't focus on what you can do. 00:39:37.260 --> 00:39:44.460 I mean Adam and Eve that had all these trees to eat from and there's only one that didn't have to eat on is like don't focus on that one. 00:39:44.460 --> 00:39:46.360 That's what say is that come look at this one. 00:39:46.360 --> 00:39:57.059 No, don't don't go where you can't go focus on where you can go and there's such a beauties and scriptures to to enamor you there's things that you can focus upon. 00:39:57.059 --> 00:40:02.559 On things that are lovely and good and right put your heart upon these things in if you're single. 00:40:02.559 --> 00:40:09.659 Let me tell you young men young women prepare yourself for marriage use this time for for advancing your career. 00:40:09.659 --> 00:40:15.960 Your school get your school in work on whatever you may be doing for the rest of your life. 00:40:15.960 --> 00:40:19.260 This is the time to focus on that put your mind on that stuff. 00:40:19.260 --> 00:40:24.460 If you're single God will take care of you and do season. 00:40:25.360 --> 00:40:27.659 That is trust the Lord and trust his timing. 00:40:27.659 --> 00:40:33.360 That he wait on the Lord when it comes to these things. 00:40:33.360 --> 00:40:37.059 God knows that it's not good for man to be alone. 00:40:37.059 --> 00:40:38.360 He knows your needs. 00:40:38.360 --> 00:40:40.059 He's compassionate towards you. 00:40:40.059 --> 00:40:46.760 He's sympathetic towards your trials and loneliness and he'll help you. 00:40:46.760 --> 00:40:52.559 Trust him and it'll be you'll be rewarded and do season. 00:40:55.260 --> 00:41:02.659 Now, let me give a word to parents who may have teenagers or who have young single adults. 00:41:02.659 --> 00:41:25.460 Now, I think it is important to get your kids ready for marriage and get them ready for life and but the age of marriage is creeping up to 26 to 28 to 30 is pushing the marriage is being pushed out and out and out and out throughout society. 00:41:25.460 --> 00:41:31.659 And I don't think this is a good trend because of the dangers of sexual immorality. 00:41:31.659 --> 00:41:36.960 Like this is not the remedy that God has given to humanity. 00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:38.659 Marriage is good. 00:41:38.659 --> 00:41:46.760 We should encourage marriage and think of marriage as a proper solution. 00:41:46.760 --> 00:41:49.659 Now, I know it's not the solution. 00:41:49.659 --> 00:41:52.559 Christ is the Holy Spirit is the solution to temptation. 00:41:53.559 --> 00:41:54.659 That's not the point here. 00:41:54.659 --> 00:41:59.159 It's a solution and it is a helpful one. 00:41:59.159 --> 00:42:10.059 So in conclusion that asks the question that the Corinthians had because no doubt they're complexed by Paul's previous writings in his preaching. 00:42:10.059 --> 00:42:13.659 It's like oh you're saying that sexual intimacy is bad. 00:42:13.659 --> 00:42:18.659 Paul says I'm not saying that I'm saying it's bad outside of marriage. 00:42:18.659 --> 00:42:20.860 I'm saying is a good thing in marriage. 00:42:20.860 --> 00:42:32.760 In fact, I'm encouraging husbands and wife to be active love each other and in such a way in marriage, but in singleness, it is something to be refrained from. 00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:33.960 Let's pray. 00:42:33.960 --> 00:42:45.159 Dear God, we your word is instructive and it's from heaven. 00:42:45.159 --> 00:42:48.059 I pray for marriages. 00:42:49.659 --> 00:42:52.260 I pray your blessing upon the marriages in this church. 00:42:52.260 --> 00:42:54.059 I pray for the single people. 00:42:54.059 --> 00:43:07.659 Lord, I pray your Lord give us instructions so that we might be holy if we're married or unmarried that we might live holy lives before you this we pray in your son's name. 00:43:07.659 --> 00:43:08.460 Amen.