WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:16.000 If you have your Bible's turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, we'll be looking at six verses right in the middle of the chapter, verses 10 through 16. 00:00:16.000 --> 00:00:21.000 In some ways we'll be looking at the topic of marriage and divorce and remarriage. 00:00:21.000 --> 00:00:25.000 All those topics we'll be touching upon. 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:34.000 But principally this passage is dealing with what God thinks about divorce. 00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:44.000 And if you're married, and this is addressing those who are married, this text is addressing those who are married to believers and those who are married to unbelievers. 00:00:44.000 --> 00:00:54.000 If you're married or you're engaged, use this message even if you're not on the verge of divorce. 00:00:54.000 --> 00:01:06.000 Use this message to push you towards clinging, clinging to your spouse. 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:30.000 It's not just a matter of, "Hey, I don't want a divorce." May we be pushed and motivated and encouraged to cling, to run after, to pursue our spouse so that we can represent the gospel well. 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:40.000 Start reading with me in verse 10. 00:01:40.000 --> 00:02:03.000 "I am not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:15.000 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:22.000 Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:26.000 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be soul. 00:02:26.000 --> 00:02:30.000 In such cases the brother/sister is not enslaved. 00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:33.000 God has called you to peace. 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:37.000 For how do you know wife, whether you will save your husband? 00:02:37.000 --> 00:02:45.000 Or how do you know husband, whether you will save your wife?" Now the basic outline is twofold. 00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:54.000 One, he's instructing those who are married to believers, and he refers to the teachings of Christ. 00:02:54.000 --> 00:03:01.000 And secondly, he's referring to those who potentially could be married to unbelievers. 00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:08.000 And imagine you're a first generation Christian, and you were saved out of idolatry as a married person. 00:03:08.000 --> 00:03:16.000 And though you're saved, your wife or your husband happen not to be saved. 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:19.000 So you're married to an unbeliever. 00:03:19.000 --> 00:03:23.000 You have, if you would, a mixed marriage. 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:26.000 You're unequally ill. 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:29.000 And so this is the basic outline of this text. 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:34.000 In these verses we see a textual difficulty. 00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:47.000 R.C. Sproul says this is, ranks in one of the top five most difficult passages in all of Scriptures, because Paul in verse 10 says this is what the Lord says. 00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:55.000 And then verse 12 says, "The Lord did not say this, but I say this to you." And what does he mean? 00:03:55.000 --> 00:04:11.000 Well even one of my favorite theologians, John Calvin, said that he thought maybe this is referring to Paul speaking in inspired language, and then kind of taking a time out from inspiration. 00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:19.000 Now what I have been saying and communicating to you is authoritative, inspired, but I'm about to give you some counsel and advice. 00:04:19.000 --> 00:04:22.000 I think it's good advice, but it's not necessarily of the Lord. 00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:25.000 It's just my good counsel. 00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:30.000 And that's what some would say that this means, but I don't think it means that at all. 00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:42.000 So to clarify this upfront, I think what Paul is doing, clearly he's referring to the teachings of Jesus when he taught the disciples not to divorce. 00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:46.000 And now he is teaching through inspiration. 00:04:46.000 --> 00:04:54.000 In both cases it's inspired and authoritative, but one is a reference to the teachings of Christ that is recorded. 00:04:54.000 --> 00:05:00.000 And that we have in the Scriptures in the Gospel and then what he is speaking through inspiration. 00:05:00.000 --> 00:05:07.000 In other words, every bit of this is the inspired, authoritative word of God. 00:05:07.000 --> 00:05:12.000 But in this text we learn what God thinks about divorce in particular. 00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:27.000 And we need to have a robust, especially us young married, the young married couples need to have a young, a robust understanding of God's perspective of divorce. 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:30.000 What does God think about divorce? 00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:32.000 How should we think about divorce? 00:05:32.000 --> 00:05:37.000 And we're living in a day, and I think this has been true probably through all history. 00:05:37.000 --> 00:05:43.000 It's not just our day, but divorce is pretty rapid, rampant. 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:50.000 Even in the first century, the reports of divorce was quite common. 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:52.000 And it's still common in our day. 00:05:52.000 --> 00:06:00.000 In fact, it was so common by the time of Christ that no longer did they have to go through a court system to divorce their spouse. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:16.000 It was so common that as long as they had seven witnesses to verify this, they could make their intent known to seven people at one time without a court hearing, and then they could separate our divorce. 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:22.000 This was how common and easy it was to walk away from marriage in the first century. 00:06:22.000 --> 00:06:26.000 But what does God think about this? 00:06:26.000 --> 00:06:29.000 What does God think about divorce? 00:06:29.000 --> 00:06:38.000 Well, we see in our text that God disapproves, that God hates divorce. 00:06:38.000 --> 00:06:55.000 Malachi 2 16 tells us, for the Lord God of Israel says, "I hate divorce." The word divorce means to separate or to suffer, to cut, to break apart. 00:06:55.000 --> 00:06:58.000 He hates divorce for at least five reasons. 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:02.000 He hates divorce, one, because it's the consequences of sin. 00:07:02.000 --> 00:07:09.000 The Bible says the wages of sin is death, and one picture of death is separation. 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:14.000 It separates us from God and separates us from one another. 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:24.000 In fact, sin brought the first divorce, if you would, where man was expelled from the presence of God and expelled, if you would, from the garden sanctuary. 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:29.000 And from that sin, you have the first domestic fight. 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:34.000 The first argument in the marriage took place because of sin. 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:42.000 God hates it because God loves unity, reconciliation. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.000 He loves peace. 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:51.000 This is why He came into this world, to reconcile us to Himself, to secure Himself a bride for Himself. 00:07:51.000 --> 00:07:57.000 He loves reconciliation and hates separation. 00:07:57.000 --> 00:08:00.000 Marriage is to represent the gospel. 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:04.000 It's to represent the covenant relationship that God has made with us. 00:08:04.000 --> 00:08:12.000 Thus, when there is a divorce, it's a marring of that gospel testimony. 00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:20.000 Third, God hates divorce because marriage is a lifelong covenant relationship. 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:27.000 Malachi 2.15 defines marriage as a lifelong companionship brought about by covenant. 00:08:27.000 --> 00:08:35.000 It's not just an agreement between a man and a woman to say, hey, we're going to live together and potentially have children. 00:08:35.000 --> 00:08:37.000 It's more than that. 00:08:37.000 --> 00:08:44.000 It's a covenant commitment, a legal arrangement that even God Himself notifies. 00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:57.000 When you're married in any court system on earth, God is in above writing down the marriage and says, now they are officially, legally brought together. 00:08:57.000 --> 00:09:00.000 It is a lifelong covenant. 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:06.000 Romans 7 tells us, "For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:10.000 But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:15.000 So then, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulterous. 00:09:15.000 --> 00:09:27.000 But if her husband dies, she is free from that law so that she is no adulterous, though she has married another man." That is, you're married until one of you dies. 00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:31.000 And if your spouse dies, then you're free to remarry. 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:39.000 But as long as your spouse is alive, according to the law of God, he sees you as married. 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:41.000 We'll see this in a little bit. 00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:48.000 Just because people get divorced on earth doesn't mean God says you're divorced in heaven. 00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:53.000 What God joins together, man can't put asunder. 00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:58.000 Now, God might recognize a divorce, we'll see in a couple of occasions. 00:09:58.000 --> 00:10:00.000 There are some exceptions. 00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:07.000 But just because you want to get a divorce because you don't like one another anymore, does it mean that God validates that divorce? 00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:15.000 It will still view you as a married couple because you have to go before God, not just before man. 00:10:15.000 --> 00:10:22.000 And God says this is a lifelong arrangement. 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:29.000 You've got to remember God hates divorce because He's the one who brings couples together. 00:10:29.000 --> 00:11:02.000 Matthew 9, teen tells us in verse 3 through 6, "The Pharisees came to Him, testing Him and saying to Him,'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?' And He answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that he who had made them at the beginning made them male and female?' And He said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' So then they are no longer two but one flesh." Now listen to this. 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:09.000 "Therefore what God joined together," it doesn't say what you joined together. 00:11:09.000 --> 00:11:12.000 It didn't say what the state brought together. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:15.000 It didn't say what your parents brought together. 00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:21.000 It says what God Himself has joined together. 00:11:21.000 --> 00:11:26.000 Let no man separate. 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:34.000 To divorce or to separate is to go against the Word of God, is to fight God Himself. 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:42.000 You see, bottom line is divorce needs to be viewed as sinful, as wrong. 00:11:42.000 --> 00:12:02.000 Matthew 5, 32, "I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." And this is why our text going to verse 10 says, "To the married I give discharge, not I but the Lord. 00:12:02.000 --> 00:12:13.000 The wife should not separate from her husband." Then in verse 11 it says, "And the husband should not divorce his wife." So this is the Word of the Lord on the matter. 00:12:13.000 --> 00:12:15.000 Should you get divorced? 00:12:15.000 --> 00:12:16.000 Can you get divorced? 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:18.000 The answer is no. 00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:29.000 You're bound by covenant and by God's own union to stick with your wife, to stick with your husband, to love your spouse. 00:12:29.000 --> 00:12:33.000 You say, "What about separation? 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:48.000 What about if maybe I don't have to legally get divorced but I just don't want to live with my spouse any longer?" In verse 10, 11 maybe it's given an exemption for a separation clause. 00:12:48.000 --> 00:13:01.000 Look at it says, "The wife should not separate from her husband." Verse 11, "But if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband." And so we see a changing of the words from divorce. 00:13:01.000 --> 00:13:04.000 Husbands don't divorce your spouse. 00:13:04.000 --> 00:13:07.000 Wives don't separate from your husband. 00:13:07.000 --> 00:13:14.000 And someone might argue from this text that there is a distinction between divorce and separation. 00:13:14.000 --> 00:13:33.000 And you might could argue back in this fourth, fifth century B.C. prior to the first century, it was true in Roman law that a man could divorce his spouse, but the spouse or the wife couldn't divorce her husband. 00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.000 She had no legal grounds. 00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:38.000 The man could get out, but the woman couldn't. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:45.000 The man could just hand his wife a certificate of divorce, leave the relationship, marry someone else according to Roman law. 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:48.000 But the wife, the spouse had no legal rights to do that. 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:51.000 So what women would do was just leave. 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:59.000 They would abandon their husbands and just go back to the mother and father's house or just go somewhere else that would take them. 00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:01.000 And they would just separate. 00:14:01.000 --> 00:14:06.000 And so maybe this is what Paul is talking about, but I don't think so. 00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:28.000 I think this word separate is just another word or synonym for divorce, because in verse 11 it says,"If a wife separates from her husband, let her remain unmarried." It's saying that one who separates is no longer married, implying here that separation is essentially divorced. 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:31.000 It's simply leaving your spouse. 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:37.000 And so there's no biblical category in scriptures for separation. 00:14:37.000 --> 00:14:44.000 Now, pastorally speaking, if your marriage is such a disarray, maybe you caught your spouse cheating on you. 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:46.000 Are there some form of abuse? 00:14:46.000 --> 00:15:07.000 Are there some form of real difficulty you're dealing with that you're saying, "Pastor Jepp, I'm not going to be stuck in this terrible situation." Well, there is some pastoral counsel to work through that, and maybe separation could be helpful if the goal is reconciliation. 00:15:07.000 --> 00:15:17.000 Let's pull back for a little bit to gather our thoughts, collect where we're at so that we can work on reconciliation. 00:15:17.000 --> 00:15:28.000 And so maybe you could possibly say separation is permissible, but only if reconciliation is the objective of the separation. 00:15:28.000 --> 00:15:35.000 Nowhere in scriptures do we have the permission just to walk away from our covenant commitments. 00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:39.000 Now, there will be a couple exceptions. We'll get to that in a minute. 00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:47.000 But without those exceptions, we're to work out our problems. We're to cling to our spouse. 00:15:47.000 --> 00:15:55.000 We're to do what we can to keep our covenant vows to death do us part. 00:15:55.000 --> 00:16:01.000 Now, let me give you some advice, especially for the young married couples. 00:16:01.000 --> 00:16:09.000 When you get married, just put it away that divorce is not a word to be used. It's not an option. 00:16:09.000 --> 00:16:14.000 That's just not part of the vocabulary. Just put that away. 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:18.000 And what I love about marriage and why marriage is such a beautiful thing. 00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:24.000 Now, God never, ever dislikes us in the covenant relationship He has with us. 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:37.000 He's never going to divorce us. He's never going to get angry with us. He's never going to get, "Oh, I wish I didn't make this covenant arrangement." He knew what he's getting into before he got in a covenant relationship with us. 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:44.000 So our sins doesn't take him by surprise, nor does it cause him to want to divorce us, thankfully. 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:53.000 But what I love about marriage being a covenant relationship is because every marriage is going to face difficulties and hardships. 00:16:53.000 --> 00:17:02.000 Every marriage will face moments where you say, "Did I actually marry the right person?" Was this really what God wanted for my life? 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:12.000 And what I love about that is that you have this covenant commitment that you don't have to wonder the will of God anymore. 00:17:12.000 --> 00:17:22.000 I remember six months after marrying my beautiful wife, who I've always loved, never not loved my wife. 00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:35.000 But I remember after six months thinking to myself, "Oh, we got married quickly." We did. She was beautiful. Well, I loved her, and I asked her to marry me. 00:17:35.000 --> 00:18:08.000 And after six months of being married, I was like, "Well, did I rush into this?" You know, that thought, "Did I actually not evaluate the scenario properly?" And I remember thinking to myself, "I don't know if I rushed into it or not, but I do know now that she's my wife, and I have the word of God that I'm to love her and be committed to her." And see, that covenant commitment stuck with me, and this is what will help you in your marriage. 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:12.000 You say, "Well, and this is a valuable thing and a beautiful thing. 00:18:12.000 --> 00:18:23.000 I don't want us to think, "Well, divorce is so ugly and divorce is all this sermon just be negative." I want you to see the beauty of a covenant commitment, the beauty of this, because it keeps the relationship together. 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:37.000 The reason that so many people get divorced is because they've dated so much before they get married, and what do you do when the marriage and the dating relationship gets tough and rough, and your girlfriend or your boyfriend hurts your feelings? It's over. 00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:46.000 There's other fish in the sea, and off they go jumping around, jumping around, jumping around, because that's what you do when things get hard. 00:18:46.000 --> 00:19:18.000 But when you get married, there's no more, "My feelings got hurt, I'm out." No, I've got this commitment. I've got my promise, and it's before the living God, and thus we should work, not just to stay married, but to stay lovingly married, not just to not keep from divorcing, but we should cling close to our spouse every day. 00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:24.000 Now, this is if you're married, you need to stay married. That's the basic counsel. 00:19:24.000 --> 00:19:30.000 But think about maybe you're married to an unbeliever. 00:19:30.000 --> 00:19:37.000 Maybe you thought they were a believer when you got married, but six months in, a year in, you find out, "Man, they don't even like church. They don't like God. 00:19:37.000 --> 00:19:53.000 I'm married to someone that's not a helpful father to my children." Definitely is not a good spiritual leader to me. I want out, and that might be one of you in that position, or you know someone in that position. 00:19:53.000 --> 00:20:01.000 I mean, the Corinthians, think about that. Many of them were converted, and the husband or the wife was converted, but the spouse had not yet been converted. 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:06.000 And so now they're in a mixed marriage, and it's difficult. 00:20:06.000 --> 00:20:14.000 And the Bible tells us, "Do not be unequally ill," because God knows that such a relationship's going to be very difficult. 00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:19.000 We're told not to marry someone if we're unmarried who's not a Christian. 00:20:19.000 --> 00:20:25.000 That's not an option for us. But what if you are married to an unbeliever? 00:20:25.000 --> 00:20:40.000 And so the Corinthians had this struggle, and they really thought,"Well, maybe it's good to divorce an unmarried spouse, I mean, an unchristian, non-Christian spouse." And I think they were afraid of this for a couple of reasons. 00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.000 One, Paul had already said for us not to be unequally ill. 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:49.000 And so they're thinking, "Hey, am I in sin because I'm unequally ill? 00:20:49.000 --> 00:20:53.000 Am I living in sin? Is my marriage unholy? 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:58.000 Does God sanction my marriage to an unbeliever?" They may be thinking that. 00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:05.000 Two, remember that he had already written a previous letter to them telling them not to associate with sexual and moral people. 00:21:05.000 --> 00:21:16.000 He commanded them not to have sexual intimacy with prostitutes because such activity is a defilement of their own bodies. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:18.000 It's a sin against their own bodies. 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:26.000 And it brings the temple of the living God in connection with a prostitute which is a sin against Christ. 00:21:26.000 --> 00:21:29.000 And so maybe they're thinking, "Hey, I'm a believer. 00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:31.000 I'm the temple of the living God. 00:21:31.000 --> 00:21:36.000 I have Christ dwelling in me, and I'm married to my spouse who's an unbeliever. 00:21:36.000 --> 00:21:41.000 Every time I have sexual intimacy with my unbelieving spouse, am I defiling the body? 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:46.000 Am I sinning against Christ?" And so they're thinking such thoughts. 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:53.000 And it would be natural for them to wonder if their marriage is actually holy before God. 00:21:53.000 --> 00:22:03.000 Third, they were afraid that maybe their children of these mixed marriages were not legitimate children. 00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:06.000 Maybe they're illegitimate. 00:22:06.000 --> 00:22:33.000 In the book of Ezra, not that I think these Corinthians knew the book of Ezra too well, but in the book of Ezra we learn that those Jewish people who married the Assyrian settlers, even though they had children, they were to divorce their foreign spouses, and their children from those offsprings were illegitimate heirs. 00:22:33.000 --> 00:22:42.000 And so maybe the thought is that if I'm a Christian and I'm married to an unbeliever, maybe this marriage is not holy before God. 00:22:42.000 --> 00:22:55.000 It's not legitimate in its sinful marriage, and therefore maybe God is looking at my children as illegitimate children. 00:22:55.000 --> 00:23:04.000 So as my mixed marriage, holy or unholy, is our sexual union holy or unholy, or is it defiled in some way, and are our children legitimate? 00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:14.000 For these reasons, they're asking that Paul say,"Paul, should we divorce our unbelieving spouse?" And Paul says, "For four reasons, no. 00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:18.000 Stick with your unbelieving spouse for four reasons. 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:23.000 One, because the marriage remains holy." Look at verse 14. 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:40.000 "For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband." You see, this marriage, even though you're married to someone who's not a believer, doesn't mean the marriage is not sanctioned by God. 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:47.000 God still looks at this marriage as a marriage in his courtroom. 00:23:47.000 --> 00:23:56.000 The second reason is to stay married to an unbelieving spouse because the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse. 00:23:56.000 --> 00:23:59.000 We see that in verse 14. 00:23:59.000 --> 00:24:20.000 "For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband." Now, what is interesting in the Old Testament, you had some things in certain circumstances that a holy thing was made impure by teaching something that was impure. 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:29.000 For instance, a holy man who is a Christian sins against his body when he touches a prostitute. 00:24:29.000 --> 00:24:33.000 And so in that case, that brings defilement to the body. 00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:44.000 But other cases in the Old Testament, there's examples of something that's holy touches something that's unholy, and the unholy thing becomes purified by the holy thing. 00:24:44.000 --> 00:25:00.000 In other words, although a sexual relationship with an unbeliever defiles the believer outside of marriage, marriage, which is God's holy institution, brings the unbeliever into a holy state. 00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:15.000 So you become unholy when you have sexual intimacy with a prostitute, but your unbelieving spouse becomes holy as she's having intimacy with you. 00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:22.000 In other words, it's just another way of saying God looks at the sexual intimacy as pure. 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.000 He sees it as holy. 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:25.000 This is not something impure. 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:27.000 This is not something to be ashamed of. 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:33.000 You don't have to worry that your spouse is an unbeliever in this regard. 00:25:33.000 --> 00:25:42.000 The third reason to say married is because the sanctification process of the sexual intimacy brings legitimacy to the children. 00:25:42.000 --> 00:25:50.000 We see that at the end of verse 14, otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:59.000 Now, a lot of people will want to use this text, and I don't understand why, but they want to use this text to justify justification for infant baptism. 00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:14.000 And they want to say if you have one believing spouse, then you should baptize your children because the believing spouse brings that child, that covenant child, into some type of relationship with God. 00:26:14.000 --> 00:26:23.000 And so they're using this text for justification of covenant children and covenant children's baptism. 00:26:23.000 --> 00:26:29.000 But there's a couple of reasons I don't hold to that position. 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:33.000 One, what God says about these children, He says about the unbelieving spouse. 00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:41.000 He says that they are not baptized or unbelieving spouse, but they are holy in the same way the children are holy. 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:55.000 Secondly, notice that the purity of the children is not based upon the purity of the believing spouse alone, but the purity of the children is based upon the unbelieving spouse being purified by the believing spouse. 00:26:55.000 --> 00:27:04.000 In other words, because of the purity of the sexual intimacy is pure and the right setting of marriage. 00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:10.000 God says your children, they're not saved by the consequence of this. 00:27:10.000 --> 00:27:14.000 They're just legitimate. They're pure. They're holy. 00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:21.000 They're nothing. They're not a byproduct of sin, but they're a byproduct of a right marriage. 00:27:21.000 --> 00:27:23.000 This is what He is saying. 00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:37.000 And then the verb here is in the perfect tense, saying that unbelieving spouse has already been purified, that purifies the children or otherwise your children would literally be illegitimate or unholy. 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:45.000 So in other words, you should not divorce your unbelieving spouse because your marriage is legitimate. Your children are legitimate. 00:27:45.000 --> 00:27:56.000 And the fourth reason to not divorce your unbelieving spouse is because you may be the very means of their true salvation. 00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:12.000 Look at verse 16. Now we'll skip verse 15 for the second, but verse 16 says, "For how do you know why, whether you will save your husband, or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" Now, I know it could be very difficult, and some of you are likely married to an unbeliever. 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:14.000 It could be very difficult. 00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:16.000 It just made it easier just to separate. 00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:18.000 It'd be easier just to not work on this marriage. 00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:23.000 It's tough. It's hard. It's exhausting. 00:28:23.000 --> 00:28:30.000 But here's a word of encouragement that God has set you into their life. 00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:51.000 First Peter 3.1 tells his wives in the same manner,"Submit yourselves to your husband so that even if they refuse to believe the word, they will be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." I've said this story a couple of times in my sermons, but it's so impactful because it's true. It's a true story. 00:28:51.000 --> 00:28:59.000 And it was a lady in China who was forbidden by her husband to go to church. 00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:12.000 And she was very respectful to her husband and sought to honor him in every area that she could, but this was one command she could not obey. 00:29:12.000 --> 00:29:25.000 And one particular Sunday, she took off and left that morning and had to walk an hour to go to the assembly and left early and took off and went to worship. 00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:31.000 And then all the way back, she came back and found the door to her house locked. 00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:37.000 And her husband was so mad at her, he wouldn't let her in the house. 00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:44.000 So she stayed outside on the porch and slept the whole night with no covers or anything. 00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:52.000 And then the next morning, her husband, her unbelieving spouse, come out, open the door. 00:29:52.000 --> 00:30:00.000 She walks in, goes straight to the kitchen and cooks him breakfast. 00:30:00.000 --> 00:30:28.000 And there he's eating breakfast from his hands of his wife, and he breaks down in tears and asks her, "How could you treat me such a way?""After all that I did to you, how can you love me like this?" And she said, "This is the love of Christ." And that led to him going to church and eventually to his salvation. 00:30:28.000 --> 00:30:31.000 You may be married to a difficult man. 00:30:31.000 --> 00:30:37.000 You may be married to a difficult woman. 00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:42.000 But God has set you in that man or that woman's life for a reason. 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:44.000 Don't run from this. 00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:49.000 It might be years of prayer and good example. 00:30:49.000 --> 00:30:58.000 But you never know that you may be the very means that God has ordained to lead your spouse to himself. 00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:02.000 So don't run from this. 00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:24.000 The second question that we have here in verse 15 is, "What if my spouse leaves me?" Implying, "What if the unbelieving spouse departs and separates?""What do I do under the circumstances where they're leaving me?""Am I going to be in habitual sin if I'm abandoned?" Look at verse 12. 00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:34.000 "To the rest I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is not an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 00:31:34.000 --> 00:31:41.000 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him." Notice the word. 00:31:41.000 --> 00:31:50.000 If your unbelieving spouse is willing, consents to live with you, then don't be the one that initiates divorce. 00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:53.000 If they are willing, then you are willing. 00:31:53.000 --> 00:31:58.000 Then verse 15 says, "But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. 00:31:58.000 --> 00:32:01.000 In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. 00:32:01.000 --> 00:32:16.000 God has called you to peace." That is, if you're in a scenario where your spouse is really not a Christian, and they abandon you, and they file for divorce, and you're under all this guilt, divorce is so wrong, what's the world going to think about it? 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:17.000 What's my parents going to think? 00:32:17.000 --> 00:32:19.000 What's the church going to think about this divorce? 00:32:19.000 --> 00:32:23.000 No, you're not under any guilt. 00:32:23.000 --> 00:32:29.000 You can't do anything about this, and you shouldn't feel guilty if you're abandoned. 00:32:29.000 --> 00:32:46.000 You shouldn't feel condemned by the church, or by your parents, or by your conscience when you did all you could to live peacefully, and your spouse says, "Bye to you." You're free to let them go without any condemnation, without any guilt. 00:32:46.000 --> 00:32:55.000 Say, "Dod, he loves you, and he's not binding you or enslaving you to something you can't keep." There's real liberty here. 00:32:55.000 --> 00:33:00.000 And so if your spouse leaves you, don't overly condemn yourself. 00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:03.000 In fact, don't condemn yourself. 00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:10.000 Listen, I know you, and I know myself, and every dispute there's two ways in it, and you weren't perfect. 00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:13.000 You never were perfect in every area of your life. 00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:15.000 You said some things you shouldn't have said. 00:33:15.000 --> 00:33:17.000 You did some things you shouldn't have done. 00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:20.000 Of course, but does that mean you wanted divorce? 00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:25.000 Meaning you're guilty of separating with your spouse just because you weren't perfect? 00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:29.000 Of course, you have some blame in the marital problems. 00:33:29.000 --> 00:33:36.000 Of course, there's all of us who are married who would raise our hands that I have a lot to blame for the problems in my marriage. 00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:41.000 But does it mean that you're responsible for the divorce? 00:33:41.000 --> 00:33:47.000 Especially if you did all that you could to live peacefully with your unbelieving spouse? 00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:53.000 I hold to what is called a modified, permanent view of marriage. 00:33:53.000 --> 00:34:01.000 I do believe there are two exceptions, adultery and abandonment. 00:34:01.000 --> 00:34:11.000 But I actually believe that what God joins together is permanent until death, unless there's these two exceptions. 00:34:11.000 --> 00:34:35.000 J. Adams says, "Let us be clear about the fact that neither is the Bible silent nor the subject of divorce, nor does it always, under all circumstances, for everyone, condemn divorce." So there are legitimate reasons for divorce, adultery and abandonment. 00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:45.000 Now we are to do what we can to remain married, but we're under no restraint or obligation or guilt if our spouse leaves us. 00:34:45.000 --> 00:34:50.000 Now my last question in this is coming closer to an end. 00:34:50.000 --> 00:34:53.000 What does the Bible say about remarriage? 00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:56.000 Let's say you are divorced. 00:34:56.000 --> 00:35:00.000 What does it say? Are you free to remarry? 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:04.000 Well, that is, depends. 00:35:04.000 --> 00:35:12.000 If your divorce is legitimate, then you're free to remarry. 00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:28.000 But if it's illegitimate, that is, if you are the one that separated from your spouse for an unbiblical reason, this is why the Bible says if the woman separates from her husband, you know, that's a sin. 00:35:28.000 --> 00:35:31.000 But if you commit that sin, then you can't remarry. 00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:37.000 Remain unmarried unless you seek reconciliation with your first husband. 00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:49.000 So if you're divorced and you're the cause of the divorce and you say, "Hey, I know I shouldn't have divorced," then I think you should remain single. 00:35:49.000 --> 00:35:52.000 Well, that's hard. 00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:56.000 Well, this is what the Lord Jesus says. 00:35:56.000 --> 00:36:10.000 Matthew 5, 32, "Whoever divorces his wife for any reason except for sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." Why is that? 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:17.000 If I get remarried to a divorced person who wasn't legitimately divorced, why should I not marry them? 00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:24.000 Because the Bible says when you marry that person and you're going to have sexual intimacy, even as a married couple, you're committing adultery. 00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:26.000 Well, why are you committing adultery? 00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:27.000 I thought we got married. 00:36:27.000 --> 00:36:31.000 No, God says that person is still married to the first wife or the first husband. 00:36:31.000 --> 00:36:35.000 Just because the courts dissolved it didn't mean God dissolved the marriage. 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:41.000 And this is how important marriage is to God. 00:36:41.000 --> 00:36:49.000 Now, on the other hand, if your spouse leaves you, bandons you, you're free. 00:36:49.000 --> 00:36:55.000 You're free and you're free to remarry. 00:36:55.000 --> 00:37:00.000 Now, here's one last difficult question. 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:15.000 What if you're here and you say, "Hey, I divorced my spouse unlawfully, unbiblically, and I'm already remarried." Am I living in habitual adultery? 00:37:15.000 --> 00:37:18.000 And I think you're not. 00:37:18.000 --> 00:37:27.000 I think initially, yes, it was adulterous activity, but God is a forgiving God. 00:37:27.000 --> 00:37:31.000 And so you seek God's forgiveness in that. 00:37:31.000 --> 00:37:34.000 You rely upon God's graciousness to you. 00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:41.000 And now that you're remarried the second time, do all you can to love your wife. 00:37:41.000 --> 00:37:45.000 For this marriage exemplify the gospel. 00:37:45.000 --> 00:37:52.000 In this marriage exemplify the love that Christ has for you and I. 00:37:52.000 --> 00:37:55.000 And remember, let us all remember this. 00:37:55.000 --> 00:38:02.000 This might seem like a hard teaching, but it's actually a glorious teaching because it is reflection of God's love for us. 00:38:02.000 --> 00:38:10.000 And remember, remember, Christ will never divorce you and I. 00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:15.000 We give him calls for divorce. 00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:20.000 We are very difficult. 00:38:20.000 --> 00:38:23.000 We're ungrateful. 00:38:23.000 --> 00:38:27.000 But God loves us steadily and consistently. 00:38:27.000 --> 00:38:29.000 And he will not put us away. 00:38:29.000 --> 00:38:33.000 He will never hand us a certificate of divorce. 00:38:33.000 --> 00:38:40.000 In conclusion, let me give us five encouraging words of exhortation. 00:38:40.000 --> 00:38:43.000 One, we see here that God loves marriage. 00:38:43.000 --> 00:38:45.000 That's what we should take away from this. 00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:55.000 Yes, God hates divorce, but that should cause us to see how much he loves marriage and how important this union is to him. 00:38:55.000 --> 00:39:03.000 Second, we should take away from this that we should unselfishly draw closer to our spouse. 00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:04.000 I really believe this. 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:06.000 I've given hundreds of marriage counts. 00:39:06.000 --> 00:39:11.000 I say hundreds, probably hundreds over the 25 years of astral ministry. 00:39:11.000 --> 00:39:15.000 People couples before me. 00:39:15.000 --> 00:39:18.000 And I can say marriage is very difficult. 00:39:18.000 --> 00:39:26.000 It's hard because the selfishness is so entangled in us. 00:39:26.000 --> 00:39:33.000 But you never ever get and this is what us men, especially us men, we fail. 00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:41.000 We never get where we don't need to pursue our spouse to draw near to our spouse. 00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:45.000 I mean, it's not just I don't want to I don't want to go further away from my wife. 00:39:45.000 --> 00:39:54.000 It's a really obey this this this command here to obey the spirit of what the Bible teaches us about marriage is not just like I'm not going to divorce. 00:39:54.000 --> 00:39:56.000 That's fine. I'm just going to live with my no. 00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:00.000 The spirit is I'm going to go after my spouse. 00:40:00.000 --> 00:40:02.000 I'm going to pursue my spouse. 00:40:02.000 --> 00:40:03.000 I'm going to love my spouse. 00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:07.000 And I know some of you, you know, this is what you may feel. 00:40:07.000 --> 00:40:12.000 I don't feel like it. 00:40:12.000 --> 00:40:20.000 Not today. I don't feel like it. 00:40:20.000 --> 00:40:25.000 Here's another bit of counseling that I say a hundred times. 00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:31.000 When the Bible in Ephesians five tells us to love our our wives. 00:40:31.000 --> 00:40:34.000 And it tells the wives to submit to their husbands. 00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:43.000 It doesn't say if your wife is submitting to you, love her, does it? 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:48.000 It doesn't say honor your husband if your husband loves you. 00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:52.000 It doesn't qualify your responsibility. 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:58.000 Sometimes we think that we're exempt to obey and love our spouse because they don't love us back. 00:40:58.000 --> 00:41:03.000 We're exempt from pursuing our spouse because they're not pursuing us. 00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:09.000 You know, it's hard to hug a porcupine, a cactus. 00:41:09.000 --> 00:41:11.000 No one wants to embrace a cactus. 00:41:11.000 --> 00:41:13.000 He said, well, my wife's a dripping faucet. 00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:15.000 My husband's a porcupine. 00:41:15.000 --> 00:41:17.000 Every time I get close to him, he pricks me. 00:41:17.000 --> 00:41:19.000 And it's just I just rather not see him. 00:41:19.000 --> 00:41:20.000 I rather not hang out with him. 00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:22.000 I just want to be away from him. 00:41:22.000 --> 00:41:29.000 He's just it's not easy to love someone that's hard to love a difficult man. 00:41:29.000 --> 00:41:36.000 Some of us men can be very difficult to love. 00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:42.000 But God says love them not because they love you. 00:41:42.000 --> 00:41:48.000 Love them because God loves you and love them because you love God. 00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:57.000 Your obedience and pursuing your spouse is not contingent upon them pursuing and loving you. 00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:00.000 Amen. 00:42:00.000 --> 00:42:03.000 I mean, Amen. 00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:13.000 If you could especially young Mary, if you could get that I'm going to understand that I'm going to love my spouse regardless if they love me. 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:18.000 I'm going to honor my husband regardless if he loves me. 00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:26.000 I'm going to love my wife regardless if she's good to me or not. 00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:31.000 Because God I can find the energy and the strength. 00:42:31.000 --> 00:42:33.000 I can find the love not from them. 00:42:33.000 --> 00:42:35.000 Where do I get this love? 00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:37.000 How can I love if I'm not loved? 00:42:37.000 --> 00:42:39.000 You are loved. 00:42:39.000 --> 00:42:43.000 You're greatly loved by one who has never hurt you. 00:42:43.000 --> 00:42:45.000 One who has never done you wrong. 00:42:45.000 --> 00:42:49.000 One who always cares for you tenderly and gently. 00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:54.000 And so you focus upon the love of Christ and gain your strength from him. 00:42:54.000 --> 00:42:57.000 Is it by the love that I'm loved with by Jesus Christ? 00:42:57.000 --> 00:43:09.000 I can love this difficult person and I can care for them and I can be tender to them because God is tender to me. 00:43:09.000 --> 00:43:14.000 So my last word is for us as we leave and think about this message. 00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:16.000 Of course, we don't want a divorce. 00:43:16.000 --> 00:43:20.000 I don't expect many of us are thinking about divorce today. 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:22.000 But don't just not think about divorce. 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:28.000 Think about running after the one God has joined you to. 00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:29.000 Amen. 00:43:29.000 --> 00:43:34.000 .