Episode 6 The Roadside Cafe

Jack and April Hanson are the owners of the Roadside Cafe. A rundown gas and diner off US highway 50 that runs through the desert in Nevada. 

A once bustling establishment and home of the world famous Tripple Bipass burger.  Struggling to pay their piling debts, the Hansons introduce a new secret ingredient to the menu, that has customers waiting and coming in from all over to try it.   People are dying to find out why it's so popular .

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03: 0:01

This episode language and adult situation.

SPEAKER_06: 1:42

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_12: 1:44

Whatever you are, please for the ditty is called The Roadside Cafe.

SPEAKER_10: 3:22

As you drive along the deserted stretch of road on U.S. Highway 50 through Nevada, an old neon sign of the Onderside Cafe flickers in the distance. Not only is this the only stop for gas and food for the next hundred miles, but it's the only thing surrounded by a hot, desolate desert. Its once colorful and inviting atmosphere now appears dull and dreary, a reflection of the struggling business. The walls are adorned with peeling paint, the windows cracked, the once bustling parking lot is now empty. The roadside cafe, a popular stop for travelers, is now struggling to stay afloat. With the rise of chain restaurants, fast food joints, their traditional home cooked meals were no longer in high demand. The owners were a married couple of 40 years. Jack and April Hansen. They were desperate to keep their business running. They had put their life savings into the roadside cafe, and it was the only source of income. One night after a particularly slow shift, Jack and April sat at one of the empty booths in the dining area. They were discussing their mounting debts and past due bills. This was his fifth one in the last past half hour. I'll pull the car around back into the garage. He put the unopened bottle in his back pocket.

SPEAKER_09: 6:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_10: 7:03

April said as she looked back down at the mess of papers scattered on the table. Jack stumbled out the door and grabbed his keys. He made his way to the fuel pumps and turned off the switch. He then walked to the neon cafe sign and turned it off as well. Jack Little Marlborough, as his lighter sparked a small flash in the dark sky. Millions of stars could be seen for miles in any direction. As he deeply inhaled a cigarette, he unzipped his fly and began taking a much-needed leak. Fucking Christ, that's the ticket. After what felt like minutes, Jack finally stopped pissing, zipped up, and walked to his car in a slow zigzag pattern. Jack opened the car door and got in. He lit another cigarette and forgot he was already smoking one. So he flicked the other one out the window as he shot the bottle cap off another beer. He took a drink and spilled some on the shirt.

SPEAKER_08: 8:08

I'm not ready to throw the towel in just yet. We used to be so busy. Customers filled up every seat, booth, and table in the place.

SPEAKER_10: 8:18

The sounds of happy customers eating, laughing, talking. People would pass through here just to get a taste of our world-famous the Triple Bypass cheeseburger. My creation, of course. Three seasoned patties, Swiss and cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard, top of my signature slow roasted shredded barbecue and homemade sauce. Between three freshly baked toasted buns, of course. Jack said out loud as he ashed his cigarette out the car window. He finished his warm cherry wheat and chucked the bottle somewhere out in the bushes. He started his car and began backing up when all of a sudden he hit something with a log thud.

SPEAKER_08: 9:06

What the fuck was that? Shit, I probably ran over a fuck a coyote or something.

SPEAKER_10: 9:14

Great, what next? Panicked and fearing for their already struggling business, Jack put the car in park and got out to see what he hit. He looked around and noticed a faded blue Toyota Camry parked at the gas pump. Jack was too buzzed to notice it was there. As he made his way to the back of the car, suspecting to see a dead coyote or some other desert night critter, Jack's mouth fell open in shock and horror. Where he thought he'd see an animal lay a man with a black hoodie and ripped blue jeans. Blood was everywhere, soaking into the desert sand. The man's legs and torso were crushed. No.

SPEAKER_09: 9:56

No. Oh God no. Fuck! I didn't even see him. Where the hell did he even come from? I I I swear he wasn't there a minute ago.

SPEAKER_10: 10:08

In a state of shock and panic, Jack realized they couldn't afford any more trouble or bad publicity. Just then April came out to see what was taking Jack so long to close up and put the car in the garage.

SPEAKER_09: 10:24

Jack! Jack! What in the world are you doing out here? You better not be drinking another goddamn beer.

SPEAKER_07: 10:33

April called out to Jack. She saw her husband smoking a cigarette crouched down behind the car, and he was crying. He was looking at something on the ground.

SPEAKER_09: 10:46

Jack, what the what are you doing?

SPEAKER_07: 10:50

Are you April's voice trailed off as she followed Jack's gaze? Her hand automatically went to her mouth as she gasped.

SPEAKER_09: 11:01

Oh my god! Jack, what happened? What did you do?

SPEAKER_07: 11:07

April said with panic in her voice.

SPEAKER_08: 11:12

I didn't even see him. What one minute he I was just backing up and the next thing, blam! I hit something. He came out of nowhere.

SPEAKER_07: 11:23

Jack said with a drunken slur.

SPEAKER_09: 11:28

Oh my god, is is he dead? We have to call the police and tell them what happened.

SPEAKER_07: 11:34

Tell him it was an accident April said as she pulled her husband up off the ground. No, no.

SPEAKER_08: 11:45

We can't call the police. One I've been drinking into. This will be the end of Roadside Cafe. We'll lose everything, and on top of that, I'll go to prison for murder. Then who'll take care of you?

SPEAKER_07: 12:00

Jack said, wiping the tears from his eyes as he lit another Marlboro.

SPEAKER_08: 12:09

Shit. There's only one thing we can do. We gotta get rid of the body.

SPEAKER_10: 12:16

They then made a decision that would haunt them for the rest of their lives. They dragged the man's bloody body back into the kitchen door. They stripped off his clothes, took his wallet, and burned them in a metal trash can out. As Jack began sharpening his meat cleaver, April pulled the man's Toyota around back and removed the license plate. She rummaged through his car, getting rid of any traceable evidence. As April came back to the kitchen, she saw the meat cleaver come down with a dull thud on the man's wrist. Drops of blood spattered on Jack's face. As he brought the meat cleaver down again, April ran to the trash can and began throwing up, wiping her mouth on her sleeve as she looked at Jack in horror.

SPEAKER_09: 12:59

Jack, what the hell are you doing? We're in the middle of the fucking Nevada desert. Let's just bury him outside somewhere.

SPEAKER_10: 13:09

Jack wiped the droplets of blood from his face, looking up at his terrified wife, and said, No. No, too risky. This is the only way. No one's gonna ever find him. I got an idea. It's pretty fucked up, but just hear me out. I think I know how to bring business back and the customers back. Let's just say the triple bypass is getting an upgrade. We'll be able to stretch out our meat source as well as get rid of the body. April looked at her husband and then back at the naked lying man on the floor.

SPEAKER_09: 13:47

Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting, Jack? This is absolutely not happening. We are not fucking cannibals and we are not killers. We are not going to.

SPEAKER_10: 14:01

April's voice trailed off as Jack began chopping up more body parts and mixing in with the ground beef and the meat grinder.

SPEAKER_09: 14:16

This is crazy, Jim. You know that, right? But if you go to prison, then I'll be alone. And we'll lose everything. Okay. I guess I'll go along with it just one. As messed up as it is, promise me. If nothing happens or we still have no customers, we just sell this place, pay off our debts, and leave this dust bowl. Swear to God, Jack.

SPEAKER_10: 14:42

Okay, I promise. I'll be a good wife and grab some Lexans out of the walking and grab a mop. The next day, Jack and April opened a cafe in a gas station like they did every day. April began brewing coffee, putting her freshly baked desserts in display cases. Jack turned on the ovens and the grills, waiting on the first orders of the day to start coming in. The first customers slowly made their way to Boost and the tables, filling up the restaurant.

SPEAKER_09: 15:22

Hey there, folks. Welcome to the Roadside Cafe. What can I get you started off with today? Some breakfast, or maybe something off our lunch menu.

SPEAKER_11: 15:32

April said to a family of four: a husband, wife, and two kids. She put down placement at the silverwater brother.

SPEAKER_10: 15:42

Hmm, let's see here. Okay, kids, you guys want pancakes, burgers, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks? The man asked his kids as he looked at the menu.

SPEAKER_00: 15:55

Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes. With lots of maple syrup.

SPEAKER_10: 16:04

The kids all exclaimed, Why, of course.

SPEAKER_09: 16:09

Y'all want whipped cream or chocolate chips on your pancakes?

SPEAKER_10: 16:15

The kids looked at their parents for approval. They both nodded as the children giggled and clapped their hands.

SPEAKER_09: 16:24

No problem. And how about you folks? What are y'all thinking?

SPEAKER_11: 16:29

Hmm. We saw a sign out front that said something about a triple bypass burger. Can you tell us about it?

SPEAKER_09: 16:36

Of course I can, Sugar. It's a triple bypass burger. It's a triple cheeseburger, eight strips of bacon, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, topped with our signature slow cooked barbecue on three toasted homemade buns served with French fries or onion rings.

SPEAKER_03: 16:56

Well, that's right up your alley, Chris. He loves bacon and he also loves cheeseburgers.

SPEAKER_10: 17:01

The wife looked at her husband and laughed. Yes, I do. I'll take that, please. That sounds amazing. The man said to April as he handed her the menus.

SPEAKER_09: 17:20

Alright. What about you, huh? What should I get you? Should I get you one as well?

SPEAKER_11: 17:26

Oh no, thank you. That's a bit much for me. How about some coffee, cream, and some sugar and your scrambled egg powder with a side of buttered toast, please?

SPEAKER_09: 17:35

Alright. I'll put that in right in for you guys, and I'll bring you out with some water. How's that sound?

SPEAKER_10: 17:42

April took the menus and walked back behind the counter to put the orders in. Jack pulled out three patties and put them on the grill. Pancakes and eggs were sizzling on the flat top. The burgers sizzled as Jack flipped them with his spatula. He added the cheese and stacked them on the frusty toasted buns. Finally, topping it with his signature barbecue. Jack put the order in the window and rang the bell. April brought out the food to the table to the hungry family. Oh boy, this looks amazing. And it looks and smells delicious.

SPEAKER_09: 18:18

I can't wait to try this. The triple bypass is our most popular burger. Tourists come in from all over just to try it. Let me know what y'all think, okay?

SPEAKER_10: 18:32

April made her way around to the other tables and booths, refilling coffee cups, taking orders, picking up dirty plates. She went back to the kitchen to see if Jack needed any help.

SPEAKER_09: 18:46

Hey hun, how's it going? Need any help back here? Fire up eight more fruits. We have a full house out there. Can't believe they're eaten. Well, you know. Everyone's saying it's the best burger they've ever had.

SPEAKER_10: 19:02

April said to Jack and she kissed him on the cheek. I know, right? Feels so good to be busy again. But at this rate, we're gonna have to place an order for more ground chuck. We're gonna run out before the weekends.

SPEAKER_09: 19:20

Yeah. It's nice to have customers again. But remember your promise. That is and was the only time we're using the secret ingredient. Then it's back to our usual meat.

SPEAKER_10: 19:33

Okay, babe. We'll go back to our normal stuff. Jack and April served the customers their new and improved menu. Little did they know they were serving them human flesh. To their surprise, the customers loved the new taste and raved about it to all their friends. The roadside cafe became popular again as people flocked to try out their delicious home cooked meals. Not only did they make enough money to pay their past due bills, they were able to put some money in the bank as well. They gave the cafe and gas station a little facelift. Fresh paint, new windows, all new booths and cables, Bluetooth speakers at every table, along with their own music players. Jack was also able to fix some of the out-of-date equipment in the kitchen. The special ingredient quickly ran out within the first week, and Jack and April went back to the usual lean brown chuck. But to their surprise, they weren't selling in as many dishes as they were before. One night before closing, there had been two customers who had been ordering way too much to drink since they arrived there. April was gonna call a last call for the night and then call him a cab. The Hansons desperately needed sales to pick back up. Hey! Can we get one more one more for the road? Then we'll call a cab. I'm only we're only 40 minutes away from the hotel. We'll be alright. The drunk man asked April. She looked at Jake and he nods. April went to get them a beer each. We need some more of the good stuff, April. The prime grade A cut. You know what I'm talking about. April shook her head.

SPEAKER_09: 21:21

No, we both agreed. We are not killing any more people. For Christ's sakes, Jack.

SPEAKER_10: 21:30

April whispered to her husband. He handed her some pills to put in the men's beers, which would quickly dissolve and would knock them out cold.

SPEAKER_09: 21:39

Oh, for fuck's sake. Alright. But we are not killers. Our sales have been down. Believe me, these guys won't be missed. We'll get rid of the evidence like we did last time. Burn the wallets and IDs, and there's no car to get rid of this time. These guys are shit-faced. It'll be way too easy.

SPEAKER_10: 22:03

April put the pills in the bottles, which quickly dissolved. She put the beers down on the table. The men slurred a drunken thank you. April walked away and continued clinging up. Jack watched the two men chat as they finished the drinks. Their eyes began to close as they passed out on the table. April locked the front door as she turned the sign to close, and Jack turned off the gas station lights. She took both men's wallets and removed their cash. Jack tossed the wallets in a metal trash can and set them ablaze. Hey, give me a hand with these two and carry them back to the kitchen. Help me get them dressed before they wake up.

SPEAKER_09: 22:50

Fuck! These bastards are heavy. Here's your apron and your tender eyes and mallet. I'll grab some plastic and bleach.

SPEAKER_10: 22:59

April said to Jack as she helped him drag the bodies and began to undress them. Jack took the mallet and kissed his wife and began bashing the men's brains in. Then, taking his bone saw, began body parts slams into small chunks and pieces. Jack mixed the body parts in with a lean brown chuck and put them in the meat grinder. The next day they had a line out the door of hungry customers. Their sales were through the roof. The triple bypass, of course, is a top seller. But they also added a few more dishes to the menu, with you guessed it, human flesh. Everything from Philly cheesesteak stubs to prime cut panel. But the success came at a cost. April and Jack had to keep killing more innocent people to keep up with the demand for the new menu items. The once humble and struggling couple were now cold and ruthless, preying on unsuspecting travelers who would stop by their cafe for a quick bite. They had become cold-blooded killers, driven by their desperation to keep their business afloat and thrive on the next kill. And it had become an adrenaline rush for them both. As the days went by, a couple's guilt and paranoia began to take their toll. They were constantly looking over their shoulders and worrying that somebody would discover their dark secret. But as the money rolled in, it became harder to quit.

SPEAKER_01: 24:39

Howdy Jack, April. How's things been going for y'all?

SPEAKER_10: 24:43

The sheriff said as he tipped his cowboy hat to April. He sat down and picked up a menu. Hey there, Sheriff. What brings you in here today?

SPEAKER_01: 24:54

The place looks great. Sorry I haven't been through for a while. Things at the station have been a little crazy lately. Between you and me, we think we might have some missing people on our hands in this area. No need for alarm or anything. Just trying to put some things together. Y'all know how it is. Just trying to get any information on these cases. Sometimes even the smallest cause help. I've got a few photos of some missing folks. It's possible they could have passed through here to eat or gas up. Maybe you've seen them.

SPEAKER_10: 25:30

The sheriff asked the couple. He then pointed out the triple on the menu and closed it. Jack and April looked at the pitcher, then at each other, then back to Sheriff Leland and shook their heads no. Jack returned to the kitchen to make his burger. April brought it out to him when it came out from the window.

SPEAKER_01: 25:58

Now that smells delicious, April. Now I can finally see what all the hype is about.

SPEAKER_10: 26:06

The sheriff picked up his burger with both hands and opened his mouth as wide as possible, and he took a big ass bite. Jack and April both watched him as he stuffed the burger in his mouth.

SPEAKER_01: 26:19

Pardon, my French, but goddamn, you gotta tell me your secret.

SPEAKER_09: 26:25

Oh, if I told you, I'd have to kill you, Sheriff. I'm afraid we can't give away our secret ingredients. We are using a different kind of ground chuckle. And besides, if I told you, we wouldn't be world famous anymore now, would we?

unknown: 26:41

Take a drink.

SPEAKER_10: 26:43

The man finished his burger and washed it down with an ice cold sweet tea with four lemons floating on top.

SPEAKER_04: 26:50

Find a cool spot where we can turn a battery.

SPEAKER_01: 26:56

That hit the spot. Remember, if y'all can think of anything, don't hesitate to give me a holler.

SPEAKER_09: 27:04

Well do, Sheriff. I also boxed up a piece of my delicious, freshly baked apple pie for you. Say hi to the missus for us.

SPEAKER_10: 27:13

As time passed, rumors started circulating about the taste of the burgers at the roadside cafe. People began speculating that something was a bit off with the meat they were being served. But that despite their suspicions, they kept coming back for more. The once simple, struggling gas and cafe had become a successful business. But at what cost? It wasn't until one day when the sheriff was finishing up a triple in a squad car parked behind a road sign. He made it a something hard. He pulled out the something to see what it was. To his horror and disbelief, it was a tooth. Not his tooth, but a human tooth. The sheriff had been investigating the missing persons' cases for the past couple of months. A few anonymous leads tipped him off on checking out the roadside cafe. The sheriff put his tooth in the front pocket and made his way to have a little talk with the Hansens. The customers had all gone home for the night when Sheriff Leland arrived at the cafe. What brings you new here this late?

SPEAKER_09: 28:50

You aren't April to box up a piece of that delicious apple pie for the road?

SPEAKER_01: 28:55

Sorry, folks, no thanks, not this time. So are you never told me what your p special ingredient was and why it makes them so special?

SPEAKER_10: 29:07

Jack looked at April as she made her way past the sheriff and locked the front door.

SPEAKER_01: 29:16

I want in. I said want in on the roadside cafe. I want us to be business partners. It seems that the both of you are doing quite well for yourselves. I know your gruesome little secret Jack and April. I know that you've been murdering pie people, killing innocents, and doing the poo. Unspeakable. You're responsible for these missing folks. Your secret ingredient is people, and you've been serving it up to unsuspecting customers and making a profit from it.

SPEAKER_10: 29:54

That's the craziest thing I ever heard, Sheriff. Maybe you've been out in the desert sun too long.

SPEAKER_09: 30:01

You can't be serious. That's absurd. You know it's Lat Family. How could you accuse us of murder?

SPEAKER_10: 30:11

The man in the cowboy hat and wearing a sidearm pulled out the tooth from his pocket. As he did, he removed his state-issued gun from the holster and pointed it at Jack and April.

SPEAKER_01: 30:26

I could put you away for a long time and charge you for multiple homicides. I have enough evidence to put you both away for the rest of your lives. Where you'd both rot away in some shit whole prison with no possible chance of parole.

SPEAKER_10: 30:42

It's just a truth. That doesn't prove a thing, Leland.

SPEAKER_09: 30:49

Did you think that we'd never get caught? I can't believe we got away with it for as long as we did. We can't go to prison, Jack. We got sloppy. We got careless. It was all a matter of time before someone caught on to us.

SPEAKER_10: 31:04

The sheriff held his gun on him and walked them back into the kitchen. As Jack passed the walk-in corner, he quietly picked up the meat cleaner. Okay. You gotta, Sheriff. We did it. Keep your mouth shut and we'll make you a partner. Split the profit up three ways. Do you have what it takes to be a killer to get your hands dirty?

SPEAKER_01: 31:27

You'd be surprised what a small town officer is capable of.

SPEAKER_10: 31:32

April noticed Jack holding the cleaver behind his back, but keeping his eye on the gun. The sheriff moved closer and kept the gun pointed at him. Then quick as a flash, Jack lunged at the man, taking a chunk out of Sheriff Levin's arm, and blood sprayed everywhere. God damn! The two shots were fired from his gun. One struck Jack in the stomach, the other one took out a piece of April's neck. Jack stumbled forward and held his now bleeding stomach, as April's hands went to her throat. She was trying to stop the squirting arteries the bullet had pierced, and she too stumbled forward on the floor.

SPEAKER_01: 32:14

Well, well, it looks like we won't be business partners after all. On second thought, I think I'll be making myself a full owner instead of a partnership.

SPEAKER_10: 32:25

April's throat was pouring blood and was making gurgling sounds. Jack lay on the floor and was bleeding out.

SPEAKER_01: 32:32

Sheriff Leland looked at the couple and said, My customers will be lining up out the door to get a taste of my new menu. You both put your hearts and souls into this place. I think it's time you'll give a Lil' something back to the community. The customers won't be able to get enough of you. Yep. You'll be my new secret ingredient, and I'll make a few new changes to the menu. Nobody is gonna care who's running the joint. As long as they keep coming back for more.

SPEAKER_10: 33:03

The sheriff took the meat cleaver from Jack's bloody hand and struck him in the chest several times. He then grabbed the tenderizing mallet and stood over April's body. He brought down the hammer with a one swift blow, splitting her jaw apart. He then grabbed the bone saw from the table and plugged it into a socket. The saw made a buzzing sound as a blade came to life. Leland took the saw and began slicing pieces of flesh from Jack and April while they were still conscious. The horrendous screams were muffled by a spinning blade. Blood sprayed the sheriff's face and covered his cowboy hat. The couple's bodies slowly stopped kicking and moving as the new owner of the Roadside Cafe began stuffing the limbs through the meat grinder. The next day he opened the Roadside Cafe with all sorts of amazing menu upgrades. Barbecue baby back ribs, a prime rib, and the soon-to-be-famous Roy's Big Boy. A brisket sandwich, two toasted buns, a law, a tomato, and topped with deep-fried hush puppies covered in his barbecue sauce.

SPEAKER_12: 34:31

The Roadside Cafe. Even put them on the menu like poor Jack and April did. So my friends, next time you're traveling down that hot stretch of desert highway through US 50 Nevada and need to gas on and get a bite to eat. Let this be a warning to you. If you think about ordering the now famous boys, big boy, and I'm trying to figure out the secret recipe. Just remember all what you eat, and you can get that with French fries or onion rings. Only at the roadside cafe.

SPEAKER_05: 35:49

He's a heartbreaker, that man of mine keeps feeding me the line. It's the last time, but that's the last time. Cause I mean and I will go into the reason. Close your eyes, I'll account you with.

SPEAKER_12: 37:30

So, my friends, until next time, I look forward to tasting your fear.

SPEAKER_02: 38:18

Welcome to another crime suit.

SPEAKER_10: 38:23

Hi, I'm Troy Birch, creator and producer of the short horror story audio podcast Into the Abyss. If you like what you're hearing so far, please consider leaving me a five-star rating and review wherever you can. This helps get my show out there to listeners just like you. Also, uh, like, subscribe, download, and uh hit the notification bell. That way you'll get a heads up every time a new episode drops. Thanks to everyone who listened so far, and um I'll have my information in the show notes.

SPEAKER_02: 38:58

Get a little bit of gasoline, welcome to a sale of the ocean, get a little bit of gasoline, welcome to a five sale, make it bull, make it burn, make it work your place on fire, let's get higher.