Baby Alligators

Welcome to the very first episode of "On The Porch" with your hosts, Ken and Todd. In this inaugural episode, they cover a range of topics, starting with country music. From there, they dive into the world of work pranks, sharing their funniest and most memorable stories from the job.

As two Southern boys, Ken and Todd also discuss some of their favorite Southern slang words and phrases, sharing their meanings and origins. And finally, they wrap up the episode by talking about animals and why exchange a couple of funny animal stories..

So, sit back and relax as Ken and Todd kick off their podcast series with a lively and engaging conversation on country music, work pranks, Southern slang, and animals. You won't want to miss this debut episode of "On The Porch."

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Transcript

0:19

All right, Ken, how are we going to introduce this thing? Well, if you're listened to on the porch with Todd and Ken, I guess you wouldn't do it. I don't. Know. Well, just leave this part in there a little bit. Guys, thanks for joining us for this first episode of On the Porch with Ken and Todd. We don't know how to introduce it. We're going to be polished and all that, but we're still working on that. It's a work in progress in it. It is. It is. It's like, you know, everybody wants to come in with like Mr. Radio Voice, Hey, welcome to the podcast and blah, blah, blah and give you all these instructions. It's like people are tired of hearing that. I think just you're just tired of hearing the same old run through. That's right. Yeah, I think we're just I think we're the opposite of that. Yeah, absolutely. We're just hanging out. Those what they can. Say. We're just hanging out on the porch. Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's the that's the whole purpose of this podcast is just to hang out and chat and visit and just, uh, you know, enjoy, you know, the week that was and the week that's ahead. You know, speaking of those, you know, polished things that I don't know about you, but I watch a lot of YouTube, and if I hear one more YouTube or see if this video is giving you value, hit the like. Subscribe, subscribe. But it's up about that phrase just drives me crazy anymore. Yeah. You hear that a lot for sure. Yeah. But yeah, it's like, you know, I think, you know, I think it'd be better if people just just didn't say anything and the people would hit subscribe if they, you know, they always just hit it. After I watch about five or six someone's videos, you know. Yeah. It's not the added value and all those catch phrases and things, they just seem to come across as forced and fake. Yeah, sometimes I wonder if you just didn't say anything. You just started recording and just started out with the content and it was over with. Yeah, that was the end. Yeah. There's. There's one YouTuber I like. He never says anything of those. And then at the end there's just the in the, in text that says, please consider subscribing. Mm hmm. That's the way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. So meanwhile, what went on with your week this week? Anything exciting or anything different? Uh. Not really. Just trying to, you know, work a lot. You know, for those that don't know, I'm a mailman. A letter carrier for the postal Service and crazy hours. Crazy hours. I'm trying to do some things on the side. Well, speaking of keyword side, hustle kind of thing, design and T-shirts and selling and just kind of working on that stuff. But it was kind of on an uneventful week last week for me just to kind of, you know, went through the mill a little bit. I do remember last Monday, about 1230, I told someone, I think, am I told you on the phone? Can that been a long week already? You know. He's 6 hours into Monday morning. Yeah. I'm sorry. Back from there. Yeah, I certainly remember those days. Yeah. Monday morning, you're like, okay, is it is the week over with? You know, we just get started. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's just one of those things. But yeah, you got a bigger week ahead. But how was your week last week? Well, see, last week was a good week to think back. Well, maybe I should just give folks just a little history so they just kind of get to know us and or know me. Anyways, a I retired or I was born and raised in Nashville and retired. I actually retired early and I wasn't planning on retirement. Somebody from California came to Nashville and gave me way more than my house is worth. So I took advantage and said, okay, we're retired and we moved to Jamestown and we live on a little lake up here, a little small lake. And so last week, uh, I got the news. My wife and her two friends live up here. They're buying a pontoon boat together. These three women, they're about a pontoon boat to keep out here at the dock. And, I mean, I'm kind of scared of it, to be honest out there. They're talking about maybe paying some flamingos on the side of it, and they're gonna have their own flag made, uh, w0w on it and stands for Women on one. So I don't know what that was that it. Stands for what. Women own one. The women home. So. So I don't know what's going to come with that but yeah but anyway so Yeah so that's, that's what's, that's what went on with me last week and did something interesting yesterday up here, the head of the Avon See York, I don't know if everybody knows about him or not, but he was a decorated one of the most decorated war heroes. World War One. Sergeant York. Yeah, Sergeant York. There was a movie made about him. Black and white movie. It's a good movie to go watch, but that's it's about 15 minutes from our house is where that was, where he's from? Mm hmm. So I went down there and they had a had a, like, a shooting contest with the old mountain rifles. This big, long, long rifle, black powered rifles. It was just fun to watch. Yeah, I. Bet my phone liked them. So I hung out down there for a little while yesterday, talked to my old guys and learned a lot. And it was a beautiful day yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Now, when you, um. When you talk about the back to the park, too, but when you talk about the pontoon boat, how when they say that they're going to paint pink flamingos on there, does that mean that you're going to be painting the pink flamingos on there? Well, I think, you. Know, and they're going to be taking care of it. There. I'm hands off on everything on that. But see, and just let me let me tell you, see this little lake we live on, it's a it's a private lake. And you can't have any gasoline engines on there. So they have. Deer. So they have big trailer motors, electric motors on. So they're just out there floating around and cruising around with this pontoon boat. You know, I don't know. But one thing they were talking about putting Christmas lights on it and o lights on it for the 4th of July. And I'm like, okay, we can do that. You know, that idea sounds good to me. Oh, yeah, that sounds fun. I like to do that. Have your one boat Christmas parade. Yeah, I heard. Um, Luke Combs on on an interview, uh, week before last, I guess. And he was talking about, uh, uh, you know, you know, being in touch when people hear your music and things like that. But, you know, I'm nowhere near an artist, but he says it really, really does his heart good when he hears people playing his songs on a boat. Because he says, when you're playing that music on a boat, that means you really like that song. Know I never heard. That before with Yeah, people think enough about it to play it on the boat cause that's when you're going to have a good time it and and that's the music you wanna want to hear. Yeah, for sure. You do. You like his music? It's fine. You know. How about. How about this? Or how about Morgan Wallen, man? Do you know anything about him? You like him? Morgan? What? Some of the songs. I don't know. I'm. I do not dislike country music, but some of these newer guys I know more by their songs than their name. Yeah. So what What some of the songs. Man, I don't know. I know. So that's what. That's what I'm sayin is he's like, wildly popular and yeah, the guy he can sing, no doubt. But I'm like, I'm not. I'm not this new, you know, I'm not this new country lover because I was born and raised in Nashville and all that commercial country stuff. That's just I'm just not a big fan of that. And but he's I couldn't tell you one song, but the guy can sing. I mean, I have heard, but I don't know the name of the song, but he's definitely I know there's a video. There's a video of him doing a duet with the I don't know, the other guy's name. He had a big beard, big, big, husky guy. And they say. That. Chris Stapleton. No. One. Chris Stapleton. No. And I'll tell you something about him in a minute. I think Tom Walton. Yeah, I'm looking at Morgan Wallen songs and none of the titles sound familiar? Okay, let me let me look. Wasted on you. Wasted on you. Your proof whiskey glasses on. It's kind of familiar, but nothing's really lost Sand in my boots. Sounded familiar, but I was thinking dirt on my boots. That's a completely different song. So nothing like standing out to me on anything that he does. So. All right. He needed to check in on him. I don't know. Here you go. This is what anybody. Listen, do yourself a favor and go to YouTube and look up Morgan Wallen. And Larry Fleet is a duo there. Tell you all that you need to know right there. Because Larry Fleet he's he's pretty awesome to Morgan Wallen and Larry Fleet duos where I find God is the name of the song the most amazing. The word is amazing. And the music and their voices were so I know the guy can sing, but I can't tell you any songs. Well, I. Have to. Say, I don't mind the some of the new country. It just depends on what it is, because some of the new country, um, still kind of has a for lack of a better word, like a country old country soul to it. Like Lee Brice. I like a lot of his stuff, you know? Yeah. Um, I don't know if he's considered new country or not, but I know he's a newer artist, but I like his stuff because he kind of reminds me, Oh, Lord, forgive me, but kind of reminds me of Kenny Rogers in a way. He's not like a overtly country artist. Mm hmm. You know, and I can really feel that he could be like Kenny Rogers and, you know, cross the genres in the pop a little bit, you know? Um, but, uh, but that's another guy I like. But, you know, I love country music, but I'm picky. I'm probably more picky about my country than I am. Anything. Mm hmm. Well, there's there's one more guy you knew. His name is Hardy. You know anything about Hardy? Boy, He sounds familiar. I need to go on YouTube and look at Hardy's name. The song is Wait in the Truck. Wait in the truck. And Lainey Wilson is on there with him. And that's pretty awesome. I mean, that video, you get like a five minute movie. This is great. Really tells the story. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I think Hardy was a big songwriter for years and years and then, yeah, he just made it. You know? I mean, nobody's singing. That's awesome. But we were talking about this. We were talking about Christy. Dansby speaking to songwriters. Yeah, well, see, he's been around a long time. What was it like living in Nashville before Nashville got to be what Nashville is now, which is why we moved. There used to be little dabs around there. There's one place called the Station Inn, and it's still there. And it's the only Nashville thing left the station here, and we used to go there. Chris Stapleton He was in a bluegrass band, and his bluegrass band was called SteelDrivers, and they were awesome. And they weren't just one bluegrass, but it was like blues, bluegrass. I mean, you can imagine him singing and he he wrote almost every single song that they did. They had, But it's called SteelDrivers. And we used to go there and this place would seat 50 people, maybe 75. Yeah, well, you used to sit right there. I mean, you had to cram in there. It was like five feet from and we used to see him there all the time. And, you know, now that's before he was popular. Nobody knew who he was, but he was already writing hit songs for other people. The only the only the people around Nashville knew who he was. And I had heard that he was like like 200 credits to his name before he ever sung Tennessee Whiskey with Justin Timberlake on TV. You know? So it's like, yeah, it's like everybody in Nashville. He's like the most popular guy in Nashville because he's written writing hits for everybody in. But outside of Nashville, no one knew who he was. And Billy, he, you know, was on TV with Justin Timberlake. And now he's, you know, where he should be, you know, And it's kind of sad that we missed all those years, you know, of having him in the spotlight like that for whatever reason. But I guess I kind of needed that. Or you wouldn't be the same artist. Sure. Sure. Well, I didn't miss him sitting five feet from me. Why didn't you call me? Why did you call me Gib? Yeah, a lot. Of people, these guys. That know me, people that knew, you knew. But this was a kind of place to station you. And you'd go in and had plywood floors, and they said, You know, I don't drink, but they sold beer. They sold some cheap cardboard crust pizza. And it was just one of those kind of places. Man had a had a pretty pretty high cover charge for that. It would be like $15 and get in there. But like, like they they play for like an hour or so. And then they had a little door up behind the stage. You went out back and they'd go out there and smoke and do whatever they did, take their break. You know, you could go out there and hang out with them is really cool, really cool place to go. He was also in a band. It was his own band, a blues band, like a rock blues band called the Jameson Brothers. Joe M.P., associate. People need to look those guys up, too. Okay. So that's my in my Chris Stapleton. So knowledge there. Yeah. One session in on the porch and kids are diving in uh, homework. Uh, we all have to catch up on Chris Stapleton's previous works before. Yeah, SteelDrivers made his name. There's a in the album for SteelDrivers itself titled SteelDrivers. Yeah. Has a sort of the two of the two SteelDrivers are jumps, jumps and brothers. I'm sorry, which one do you prefer? I like blues, but I like, I like my first love is bluegrass, so I really like him with the SteelDrivers because they had a, a fiddle player. Tammy Rogers, They could just tear up on the fiddle, man. And if you if you go listen to it, you'll do that SteelDrivers album, you'll see, you'll see what I'm talking about. They're just really awesome. But I'll tell you what else. To me, that bluegrass is way better than what they're I mean, just different styles, you know, different styles. What he's playing now is obviously really good, but. Right. So so was what he was doing before, you know, in the bluegrass world. Yeah. See, all I know of him is stuff now. So what I'll do is I'll listen to SteelDrivers this upcoming week and then next on next week's episode, I'll let you know what I think of it. I'll go do it. But. But we can talk about that. But yeah, all I knows his stuff now and, you know, probably my favorite song of his that he has out. I don't know. I don't know what I want. It came off of or anything. That's that's one of the joys of streaming is you have no idea where these songs came from or what I able hear anything but this is Millionaire. I just absolutely love that song and Millionaire. Yeah, that's why I like my well, my favorites from him. It's a the it's a beautiful story about him and his wife and about, you know, that, you know, being in a relationship with her makes him a millionaire. No matter, you know, that they're driving a beat up car or anything like that and and stuff. And it's just it's just an old school kind of a country story, you know, It's not like one of those storytelling songs or that kind of talk. But the, you know, the through line of the song and the message is just really cool and it's just, you know, smooth as as butter as you expect Chris Stapleton to be. And yeah. Yeah, Chris is one of those guys. He could, you know, he could sing the phone book and it would sound good. Yeah, Yeah. If you see him, Did you see him sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl? Yes, I did. And that was incredible. That's got to be one of the best national anthems ever in the history of national anthem. I mean, he was just lonely, like. Like he was the only one there. Yeah, the only one. I think that could be just as good was Whitney Houston did it in the early nineties. Mm hmm. And, uh, but. You know, a lot of times those are all recorded because, uh, at the Super Bowl, when people are saying it's usually all prerecorded because doing live sound at the Super Bowl is a utter nightmare. That's why, you know, when you see like a few years back, the Red Hot Chili Peppers did the halftime show. You know, none of the guitars are plugged into anything. It's because it's just to do live music. That venue like that is a nightmare, that if that was prerecorded, that was an incredible job by him. That or they've gotten a whole lot better at live sound and were able to do it because I, I think I really think it was live I've never looked it up to see for sure but I would bet it was live but it was so good and just, you know, move that coach to tears. I heard that being there was even more powerful than watching it on TV. But no, I'm sure that was love. And that's just classic Chris right there, class game. But he was just so laid back like he was the only one in the study. Yeah. Yeah. Is well, you know, maybe even with sound technology and stuff, they're able to do stuff like that live now, you know, and which would be cool. But speaking of live music and country music, you know, one of my favorite things ever in the world I cannot remember the year, but it was some awards show and Alan Jackson was supposed to play and they wanted him to do it. He's going to do it live. They said, No, you need to do it. You know, as a recording, you know, act like your life. So he did. But he told his drummer not to take the drumsticks out there. And spend. The whole time on TV. The drummer is drumming without drumsticks. You know, I remember. Hearing those till you see the. I do. I just absolutely love that moment. Yeah. I have to dig up the the award show in the year and all that. I don't know what off the top of my head, but it was hilarious. Mm. Yeah, you know, I heard about that, but I never saw it, but. Oh, funny. I mean, there, there's some funny things that goes on, man, with country music. Like, what was that guy's name? He didn't get invited to the CMA Awards. Oh, he's an Americana guy. Oh, my gosh. I can't think of his name right now. But anyways, so I'll think of his name in just a minute. Anyway, so. So during the awards, I mean, he should have been inside. No doubt. He should have been invited. But so he went, stood outside and played his guitar like opened his case up and stuff, you know, like busking, like he was busking out in front. Yeah. And had a sign. I think he said I wasn't invited. He was just plain out front. Oh, what was his name? Oh, yeah. That's funny. There's a lot of that stuff. And that goes on and it seems like it goes on more in country music than in the other genres. You know, because it's like the last big well, the last big Grammys thing. But it's like the the only Grammys thing I can remember is always like controversy. And it's like, come on now. Yeah. So I guess the people in the South are just a little bit more I don't want to say cantankerous, but just they'll just needle you in a different way. You know? Yeah. Like saying bless your heart instead of what you really want to say. Bless your heart. Yeah. Yeah. There's some. Yeah. The sales go some crazy some crazy scenes for sure. I hosepipe. Yeah, I remember. I remember when me and my wife Holly were dating Holly's from Southern California, and I've. I've grown up in southeast Missouri my whole life, and she called me on a Sunday, and, you know, I had the newspaper out, and I was looking through the newspaper, and she's like, Uh, what are you doing? Like, looking at myself? I said, looking at Sell Bill. She's like, Well, what's wrong with it? Like, nothing. I'm just looking at it. Oh, she's like, You're just going over it and saying, you know, making sure it's right. I'm like, Well, I'm just looking at the sale. Bill. What are you saying? That's a I'm looking at the sale Bill. She says, So you're looking at your phone bill, your cell phone bill. I said, No, I'm looking at the ads that come in the Sunday paper. I mean, this bill, you know. So yeah. Yeah. She always makes it makes fun of makes fun of me or anybody else, which is when we say I'm going to my car, she's like, What's on my car? What's on my. Car? Is that a bird? Well, it's my car. Yeah. No. I'm going to my car. Going to my. Oh, Lord her. Well, man, you know, you know, I'm from Nashville, from the South, so. And we moved up here to Jamestown, and it's just 2 hours east to Nashville. So it's up in the mountains like a common plateau area. Yeah. But it's the beginning of the Appalachian Mountains. And and, you know, down here we say, Yo, you know, y'all come, y'all come on over. Y'all going to the restaurant or whatever? Well, up here, the guy was building our house saying, Ewan's like, you go into the store, and I just. I had to hear that a couple of times to really understand what he was saying was uns. I never heard that before. Yeah. But then we humans and y'all's here as well. And, uh, yeah, where I'm at in Missouri and southeast corner here, we're at this line the where it's like I consider us in the south because I think our culture is more southern than anything else. But we do have some, you know, other influences. And people from the Deep South probably look at us like Yankees, because I think when they think of Missouri, they think of like Midwest maybe. ST Yeah, Midwest, you know, Saint Louis and, and North, you know, that kind of thing. And, uh, but we do have humans. We humans is very common, you know, y'all is just as common. It's kind of interchangeable. But, uh, yeah, I never thought of, uh, you know, humans being being formed. But we do have the humans and in the dolls. Mm hmm. So, Well, we, we do not have buggies that are grocery store, though. That's one thing we do not have. You know, we. Have grocery carts. You have. Buggies? Yeah, well, men, that uns we looked up the origin of and actually came down from Pennsylvania. They came down to the Appalachian Mountains to look it up and it means you and yours is short for you and yours. So there was somebody said, you go into the store, are you and yours going to the store or how are you? It's done, you know, So it's just a different. Oh, it's like y'all's different for some people, you know. Yeah, Well, like that you, you and yours is a phrase I use a lot for, like filling out Christmas cards and like, you know. Mm. Merry Christmas to you and yours. I use that phrase you and years a lot. So maybe I need to start. You can say onions. Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm more of a yard guy than you and I. I don't know. I have a paid attention. So how do you even spell you in? So let's look at it. Maybe we may start putting on the Christmas card with you. And I. Don't even know. Where to. Go to work it down and see. Yeah. I can't even get to see the spell check on my phone, I guess. Right, Half the time. Yeah. Oh, you in as well. Let's see. Well, you know. Almost like, almost like ins. Like. Any more, you see. Like Japanese currency just about ends. Hmm. That right. Japanese. So it's I that's how you spell it, man. Well, it is. Yeah. Is it the Japanese yen in that China. It remember. I apologize if I got that wrong in any way but uh. Yeah after remember that buy o u in s u and. Yeah, yeah. Yeah starts on the Christmas Yeah. One of the things, um, my in-laws have slowly migrated from California to here in Missouri, and like, the first thing I train them on is the forget the word firefly and the lightning bolts. These things are lightning bolts. Yeah, they're. Definitely lightning bugs. Yeah, definitely lightning bugs. So. I mean, we had a little nice little lake here in, uh, we've met some people. This here from where do they move here from? Up north, somewhere. Um, I think it's Illinois. Uh, they they moved down here, and they were down our dock the other day. They were fishing, and they actually caught little salamanders. Uh huh. No, you know what I'm talking about? A little. Oh, yeah. I didn't know you could catch a salamander on a fishing hook, but they did. And it was these little bitty things, and they were freaking out. They thought they were far enough south that they were baby alligators. Like little baby just hatch alligators. They were freaky. They're like, Oh, my God, is your alligators in this lake like that? What are you talking about? No alligators here. You know, it still. It was 22 degrees last week, you know, And they said, well, we're kids. And these little alligators. Like. This, they brought one up. I said, No, that's a salamander. So then they really freaked because they had neighbors wherever they came from, they'd never seen a salamander, you know, a little lizard. Uh huh, you know. Yeah. But anyways, that was I thought that was fake. But I thought they were little alligators. Yeah. They've got tails on them and they've got. Has it looked like a little alligator? Like. No, there's. My youngest daughter today. Of course, springtime kind of kind of turning around here. And. And she was over. By the back door, and she's like, Dad, there's a big spider over here. I thought, Well, step on it. She just got into her church and she's like, I can't. I got high heels on it, like crawl on my foot. And that's okay. It's like it's a big spider, easy to get hit. And I was like, All right. So I walk over there cause I just had socks on and I was like, Give me your high heels. Like, it's I go over there like, where is it? That's like, right there. And I'm like, where? She's like, at this point, there's a little teeny, tiny little bird spider on the side of the hall. Oh, yeah. It's like. Where's the big one, too? But she's the is not a bug fan at all. She's been deathly afraid of bugs ever since she was a baby. Even flies. She still doesn't like housefly. Mm. But it was just cracked me up. I was like, yes, I was looking for a bigger spider than that. Well, I don't blame her for the spiders, but, I mean, the poisonous ones are those little bitty ones. She's right down with that little girl. That's. I mean, Brown was. It was a brown recluse or nothing. It was just a little house spider. But, you know, we I mean, those are around here, but they're you got to go out and really try to find one. You know, um, in the I remember I said earlier, I carried mail. I remember one time I was carrying mail and these, uh, I walked up to this mailbox to put mail and it was kind of that the kind of the long triangle mailbox you put on your house with the lid that flips open up top. So it's more long that it is deep. And so I flipped the lid up, and for whatever reason, I looked inside and the whole thing was covered with webs. And then there was a black widow spider in the. Lake waiting for you to stick your hand in there. Yeah, this is like, no. And so I left lit up, but I put email in there. I just held it for the the next day cause they were home and the I wasn't going to just leave it anywhere and I wasn't gonna put it in there with that spider and I wasn't going to take the time like. 11. Because, no, my luck. Look at babies everywhere. But, uh, yeah, yeah, that kind of kind of scared the water out of me a little bit, but. Have you ever seen it on YouTube where they'll. They'll like, put a string tied to the door and then put like a mouse in there, like a rubber mouse. So when you open the door, it comes flying out of it. You. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I used to do that. A place I worked with, with a guy he had was real bad. Uh, scared of snakes. So we had a, um, old fishing pole when there's old like that CO 33 when those classic fishing poles and reels. And of course we cut all the hooks and stuff out of it and we tied the fishing line around that snake so we could like launch that thing across the warehouse. And it really. Scared the crap out. So yeah. Although at night we weren't night shifts then. So, you know, if. Those things were expected. I mean, that's the work prank. That's, uh, I worked for Southwest Airlines for, uh, 28 years, and we did all kinds of things. My favorite thing was we caught on tape snares. You know, you get that clear packing tape. This really, really clear. And we would put it across the doorways. We're like, right at our level. And people walk in from outside. They get tangled up in it. And I almost got fired once. I actually. Oh. It's somebody somebody would have told because everybody knew that I'd done it at the time. If somebody would have told me, spilled the beans because they were looking for whoever did it, because it's got these glasses stuck to it. And you know, he was really yeah, he was really, I don't know, soft, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's I think it's a part of work. Pranks is kind of weed out those that, you know, that take the joke or or not because it's been a while since I started a new job. I've been at post service for 18 years this year, and, uh, it seems like that's what happens is like you, I don't want to say hazing because that says such a negative, you know, connotation anymore. But it's like, you know, they play some jokes and, you know, some ribs and people to see if you take it or if you refer back or to see if you you know, if you just kind of fold up and and want to go home kind of thing. But the Postal Service, we have a few things, but we don't get to work with our coworkers that much because we get there in the morning at the mail out, you know, ready, and then we're out and kind of on our own rest of the day, you know, So. So we get them in when we can. But, uh, but some of my past jobs we had, we had some, some doozies. And that's one thing I miss about, you know, having coworkers all the time around. But, uh, yeah. Yeah, that, uh, before Southwest Airlines, I work for American Airlines and I first started there, I was one of the younger guys and men made me and my wife, we didn't have enough money to pay attention back then. Yeah. So I took the worker a jar of peanut butter and jelly and bread that was going to be my lunch for a couple of days, you know? Well, Oh, that was a goofy guess. I took my peanut butter and put it in the freezer before they left that night. They come back in the next morning when looking for my peanut butter at lunch, and it was frozen. So I had. No peanut butter in that either. Jelly sandwich. Oh, my goodness. Oh, that's funny. That is funny? Yeah. Um, you know, there was a you know, that the postal Service was like, you know, one of the biggest things we do is new, new hires. We always tell, you know, make sure you put in for rain pay, you know, when it rains. And so they'll walk up to the supervisor. They it rains and be like, hey, I need to get my rain pay you know, which is it's a bogus thing. But it's always fun to watch, you know, And, uh, I kind of even went back my very first job was at a Burger King and we used to make the new hires, like, fill up the ketchup bottles we used in the back with the packet ketchup. You know, we had this big, like, ketchup dispenser fill it and seconds. And so they'd be up there for like an hour, like, rip it up. Squeeze it in there, you know? Yeah. Uh huh, uh huh. It was always it was fun. Yeah, we do that. You know, we were loading the planes, we loaded the airplanes in the bin, the bins underneath the planes where you loaded all the luggage in the freight and stuff. And when we started getting for the new hires, we'd send them. We sent them to another airline like American. We sent them over to Delta and say they had to go there and ask if we could use their bean stretchers. Like, you. Know, you make more room and they jump on the tractor and go flying over there and we come back and they said they didn't have any bean stretchers. Oh, I. Really like to lie and and try to slow them. The thing. Uh, yeah, well. That was it's always fun, you know, to to, to do that especially, you know, it's more fun when the people don't take it. Well. It's like aggravating cat, you know, basically, it just makes me want to just do it or, you know. Yeah. Have you ever put the brakes on again? It we ever put boots on a cat? Uh, yeah, like one little. The little paper thing. Yeah, I didn't do it. My, my dad did was just take a piece of paper, put it on there, pop a little rubber band on there. I mean, they get it out for a week, but they sure don't like it. It's kind of aggravating to a morning thing, but yeah. We. But. But I love cats. Don't anybody see me hate me? I love cats. I love dogs. I have three dogs. And yeah. I love all kind of animals. I used to spin circles and get cats dizzy. You know, or. Those back when I was a kid. Um, but there was a way you could spend a cat real fast and get it dizzy. Of course you would not hurt the cat. It doesn't hurt the cat. It's just like. Like you or me. If we spun around in circles a couple of times, you know, you woozy, and then you're fine. But, uh. That was always fun, you know, because the cats are always, like, so sure footed to see them for a few seconds where they don't know which which way is up. It's kind of fun. Yeah. So I got a cat. Now it's a stray cat, but even our cat don't even know whose cat it is. It comes up on our back deck to stand at the back door and aggravate our dog, you know? So I got to where I just. I shoot him with water and get him to run off, you know? And, uh, that keeps him away for a while, at least as far as I know. He might come when we're all at work, and, you know, we don't see. But. But, yeah, yeah. Oh, anything Hate mail and animals. We love animals. You can send those to Todd Killian. That. All the mail goes to. Todd's the brains of the operation. He all the. Most. Yeah. I don't even have an e mail. If you want to send me an email about, uh, not being mean to animals, I don't even have one. I'll go to. That. I'm not mean to animals. I have three dogs that we got a new dog. He did. I did. Weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. We have three standard poodles and one's 12, and then the other one is seven. And we just got a four month old standard poodle. But they don't look like poodles because they're. They're like dogs. And so they're in the water all the time. And, uh, you know, people don't know about poodles. Only that I won't tell you won't. Anti my poodle. Now, don't you hear? All right. Of course. When we got our first poodle, we did it in standard fashion. We got the dog first and then did the research on it that we had at home or like, you know. You know. You know, the American. Way. You know, you know, my wife just wanted a standard poodle because she liked them. So we got one. Uh huh. And I got at home when I got to look in and research and like, well, these aren't French poodles. These are German, they're a German breed. And in Germany they use them for hunting. They're retrievers. They're actually they're a they're retriever, and they have webbed feet like a Labrador retriever so they can swim. And the reason, you know, people think they're French poodles, but the big standard poodles are the only purebred poodle. The rest of them are have been mixed with something somewhere online to make them smaller. The people think they're French poodles because of the fancy hairdos they have on them. But the Germans actually would keep the hair longer around their vital organs, around their chest and on top of their head and everything, because it was so cold in Germany. And they use them for skin. And so then the French got ahold of it. They started making all these fancy, poofy designs on them that weren't functional. And everything like they. Do. Mm. So, so actually there are a lot scrappier of a dog than people give them credit for. If you know the big ones anyways. Yeah. You know, they swim and retrieve and uh, you know they're just a cool breed they don't have, they don't have fur, they have hair and so they don't share it all. But the down side, the good thing is their, you know, they stay in the house with us too, and so they don't shed. But you have to get them groomed. You still have to they still have to get groomed, get a haircut, just like we do. Uh huh. So that gets a little expensive. But they're great. They're great dogs, man. Great dog. Yeah. Well, I have to admit to you, you know, we're going to have to visit here in a few weeks. Well, a month or so. I remember when I was carrying Mill in Sikeston on my route down there, there was a a family that had a standard poodle, and that dog was my nemesis. Really? That dog? Yeah. Really? Oh, my God. Didn't it did not like me in the it didn't like any mailman in the yard. Whatever, you know, if we saw it out it was like walkway around the house to the street and don't deliver. It was I don't know. It was just that particular one. Or if the way it was brought up or it was a nice neighborhood family was, you know, was a good family and stuff. So I don't I don't know. But their thing was so protective. Yeah, I've never even was I've never heard of a poodle being like that. It was not a joy to be around at all. Yeah, I've never heard. Was it a male, do you know, Because we just have girls. I assume so. I assume I'm assuming it was a male. I do not know. I don't even know what. What the name of that dog was. I just knew to stay away cause it was going to be. It was going to be aggressive, you know, if you get in the yard. So well whenever you come out, be ready for a lot of poodle love. There's no getting away from it. I mean, if you even slowed down long enough, one of them's going to be in your lap, you know? So, yeah. Yeah, well, that's why I'm bringing Taylor. She's like a doggy love sponge, so she'll be able to take it all. Yeah, you. Know, and. And enjoy it, but. Nah, I know your dogs are way, way different. I think this dog was more territorial, you know, just for whatever reason, you know? But, yeah, it just was that bad. My only interaction with the the, the standard poodle was, was on that belt right. Now that was very abnormal. You I mean there. Yeah. The standard poodles, they, uh, whatever we want to do, they're happy to do it. Whether it's go right and go to trip, go hiking, go swimming. Uh, just whatever we want to stay in and watch a movie there. They either get in her lap or lay down on the floor right there. You know, they're just. They just want to be with their people. All they want to do. Yeah, they're great dog. Yeah, of course. I mean, as a mailman, you know, the old adage of, you know, the dogs and the mailman is. It's true. There's a reason. It's true. I mean, even like a pugs. I've had pugs come after me, you know, into the house. I was. It doesn't matter what it is, except golden retrievers. They're the only dog that is, like, happy to see me. For whatever reason. Oh, every time I see a golden retriever, he's excited. I think they just love people. I remember one time I pulled up, I was on a new route and there's a golden retriever up the yard and it was not on a on a leash or anything. And I, I didn't think it was on a, you know, like one of those wireless fences. The thing that's the thing on the collar. And this is before I was into the service long enough to know about golden retrievers and so I was kind of, you know, froze at my truck because I I'm supposed to help out deliver their mail. And he saw me and he froze and they took off running behind the house. Well, he's just scared of me. You see that, too? So I woke up, delivered the mail, and as I turn around and walking back to the truck, he comes around from the back side of the house with his little football in his mouth. He saw me and ran off to get his football for me. He so about. You and all that dribble, Get that football over, throw it a few times. I threw. It down you know in the in. For him when in so then every day I'd deliver that that route several times you know. Well not every day but several times you know at least once a week for a couple of years. And every time he's even he'd go get that football. Yeah, he's a yeah. I just the look in his eyes, he just like looked at me, took off, read it. Obviously he was scared. He just was going to go get his football so he could take a throw off where he just knew I showed up. Throw a. Football. Yeah. One of our poodles, the older, older one. Anytime anybody I know, when somebody pulls in the driveway because she goes looking for one of her toys or stuffed animals and she goes she goes, he will not meet anybody at the door without a stuffed animal in her mouth. So she's always kind of kind of the same thing. My sister, my sister's dog does that, too. It's like any time anybody goes comes in, she's got to bring a toy to them. And and so and you just haven't got to, like, acknowledge it. And then she's good. I don't know. It's weird. I go. This really this is something they're just trying to do to be friendly. You know? Yeah, I know. Because I've people's come over and they were they're like, take it from her and then throw it like she's thinking. They were thinking she wanted to run after that dog and never run out. Run after anything his entire life. And I know. That dog is just looking up. I don't like girls looking up. Like thinking. You just. Threw my toy. What it. Man? Yeah, boy. What? You really grab your purse. Just throw it, lady. Yeah. Let me see your head. I'm gonna go throw it over the edge of the deck. Yeah. Oh, man. That. Man's a good thing. Email, man. It's a good thing for you. Oh, the the cats don't chase Male man. You know, they do. They do. Cats do. They? Well, yeah, not all of them, but a lot of them will. I'd say there's no getting away from that. No, some of them are more, more full of themselves. And I, there was once I had a cat, I actually had a spray with my dog spray because it was just being so aggressive. So. I mean, I remember. Oh. Several summers ago I had shorts on and I walked up to this house to deliver the mail and I heard growling. And which hit me as unusual because there was no dogs in this area at all. You know, you you kind of learn where the dogs are. And I'm like, what is growling at me? And I look around and I don't see a dog or nothing, and there's a a tree that's six feet or so away from the mailbox And where I'm at. And on the side of the tree is this baby raccoon, maybe the size. Oh, maybe about the size of a football, you know, on the side of the tree, growling at me a. And I thought, well, it's just the baby raccoon, you know, I'll just walk off and it it'll just stay there. Well, as I turn to walk, it hops off and is coming at me growling. And here I am with shorts on and, and all I could think of is this baby raccoon getting on my leg and clawing and by the snot out of it. Yeah, I'm getting rabies. I have my nine year old. I didn't have any my dog spray or nothing on so, like, my only defense is to try to punch this raccoon. You know, I'm not athletically gifted. You know? So I try to time it, but I timed my kick a little early. And so basically when the raccoon goes to jump, he hits the bottom of my foot and then he just kind of rolls and goes off into the bushes. But I guess that was enough to deter him. So I didn't really kick him. He just more kind of jumped into my bottom. And you and then I just kind of that just. Kind of stepped it to my truck and shut the door in case he wanted to go back again. But yeah. That was really scary, just thinking about that raccoon trying to get hold of my leg. You know? But Mama, my brother and my brother in law. Bubba. Yeah, He came. Out of his house. Checks out. Huh? So that checks out? Yeah. Lo, I love Bubba, man. Good. The one he came out of his house and it was icy on his deck, and he came out. He came outside and he hit that, and his feet just went straight up in there, and he fell straight on his back, you know, So it knocked the breath out. But he heard something. His grill is right beside his door. He heard something, you know, making his big his noise. He looked. Over and. It was a possum, man. Just like what you're saying. It was a possum. It was. It was It spent the night up under his grill trying to stay warm. He said all he could see was this long nose and teeth. It al him. He said it was terrible. And he was. Laying there and he was laying there, couldn't breathe. And this possum he just knew was really like tear his nose off. Uh, he told me that story now, about that life. He was talking about it, but, um, I can tell he can sure tell a good story. He did a good job on that one that. I. Laughed so hard. My sides were was sore the next day. It. But whatever. Bubba joined us on the front porch sometime. Yeah. Yeah. And sure he'd like to. Oh yeah. Well well, I guess it's about time for me to get so, um. I want to. I want to thank everybody for tuning in to this first episode of On the Porch, just a podcast me Ken wanted to do together to get, you know, get together and just talk and visit. Just take a break. Like we said in our trailer, you know, just take a break from that hustle and bustle and you guys can follow us on Instagram. It's on the porch pod. Uh, there's also a link in the description and or send us an email it join us on the porch at gmail.com. And if you guys stayed this long, we'd appreciate a review. I know we kind of made fun of it at the beginning, but that is one of the legit ways to help the podcast is to write and review on, especially Apple Podcasts. But any podcast platform that you use that allow ratings and reviews, we really appreciate it. So, uh, not sure what kind of a closing we, we have here, but, uh, anything else you need? Sake. You know, I guess I can close out in some sort of fashion. How about, uh, thank you all for listening, and we'll see you next week on the porch, and we go. Perfect.