They Sell Hotdogs & Ammo

Todd and Ken talk about writing letters, small town hardware stores, being chased by bees and wasps, gas station food and more!

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Transcript

0:09

Hey, Ken, We're back on the porch. Oh. How you doing, buddy? Doing good, my friend. How are you? I'm doing great. Sun was out today up here and almost 70 degrees, so it was beautiful. Oh, yeah. Spring has sprung here, too, and it's made me happy. In fact, I took my plate of spaghetti up this evening and ate it on the porch swing, you know, because it's like I didn't want to sit inside the house, you know? Sure. It's so. It's so nice. But the. Key. You remember that last episode we talked about? If we get, like, messages from people? Yeah, we read them. Well, we got a message this week, and I didn't share it with you on purpose because I wanted you to hear. Five live on air, if you will. But it's from our friend Charles. Charles, I grew from AG designs. Probably seen him around and Instagram, but. Oh, he said he sent me an Instagram message. He says, Hey, I just listened to your first two episodes of On the Porch and it's great. I enjoyed them and cannot wait for more. So thanks, Charles, for taking the time to listen and taking the time to reach out to us. Yeah. Charles, thank you very. Yeah, it's a it's a it's really cool. So you guys, if you want to reach out just on Instagram, on the porch part, we'll have Facebook coming sometime soon and then email us at, uh. Join us on the porch at gmail.com. So that's enough of the housekeeping things. We just want to honor our word. We say we will. We'll read those messages to people and and that's always nice. It's always nice to hear from from, from folks. Yeah, it is. Thank, thanks a lot for, uh, you know, for emailing me and that's pretty awesome. Mean, we already got a, got an email just first two episodes. It's fantastic. I know. It's like, almost feels like we're a real podcast now. Almost. Right. But that makes me happy, though, man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it does. It does. Me too. It's a I guess the DMS kind of have replaced the writing of the letters, you know, some people don't write the letters as much anymore, which is the M's are cool because they're so much faster. But, uh, something about taking the time, even if it's a direct message or a text or a letter or something about taking the time just to write somebody, uh, is really cool. Yeah. I mean, the last letters that the only letters that I've written in years, I'll be honest, is my son went in the Army, uh, about a year and a half ago. So I was writing him a couple of times a week. Yeah. And I sit down and cried and wrote, and. It gives all. That good stuff, you know? You do and you write in letters like that. But I mean, I've been I wrote, I don't know how many, but maybe 50 letters where I was in boot camp. And then shortly after, Yeah, a bunch of wrote a bunch. So if I don't, you know, I don't really talk to him about him. I don't know if he could make out my chicken scratch or not. Yeah. That's the that's the one thing that keeps me from writing more letters is he would get it from me, but you'd have no idea. What it was. Yeah, but, yeah, I'm pretty sure he got on some of his buddies to be an interpreter because, uh. Yeah, I have horrible handwriting. Uh, we do. And I have horrible spelling, so a lot of times there'll be something I want to say. I cannot figure out how to spell it, so I'll just kind of rework it. In a way, we're lucky. Spell all the words. Yeah. It comes up very well. And, you know, I hadn't written letters in so long, I. I went back and looked at them, and before I made them in, like some of it would be in cursive and then some of it will be just in regular, what do you call it, this manuscript or whatever. Yeah. They'll they'll write two or three words in cursive, in one manuscript. And I'm just like, Man, I've forgotten how to do this. I have it written in cursive and forever. And, and then, like a few months back, uh, talking about with my youngest daughter, I was like, Yeah. And it's like, try to write a sentence in cursive. And I got through it, but I really had to think of it even in high school, I printed a lot, you know, and, and I still do. I just kind of just print. And it's always, it's always a mixture of capital letters and lowercase. And it doesn't seem like there's much rhyme or reason on which ones I use. Well, you know, and, and things. But. Uh, I have got a love that. Talking about that. I mean, I, I had to write a check the other day, and I hadn't written a check in years. I mean, it's probably been three or four years anyways since I've written a check and it was for some work we had done done in our property. We bought a man, I ruined three checks trying to get it right. I just had to turn my husband into some way, you know, to warm up little pieces and throw away because. Yeah. Like, I didn't then leave enough room and then I'd misspell something and it was just it was terrible because I was nervous about writing the thing. Check. Um. I know. Um. Numbers is one of those things I really miss Misspell because it's like. You know, it's. Like the rules for spelling numbers doesn't make any sense compared to the, you know, English has a bunch of crazy rules anyway, and it's just, it just gets amplified when you're writing numbers for some reason. And maybe that's just me and. But. Yeah, I could tell you the last time I wrote a check and I could tell you the last time I wrote a letter to anybody, um, the last letter I remember writing is the last letter. Actually, the last letter I remember writing I was a kid, like probably six or seven years old. And I we get this little magazine in the mail, Kids magazine, and in the back of every issue would be like, um, a list of celebrities and, uh, addresses you can write fan mail to. And I wrote a letter to Miss Piggy, so I think that was the last letter I wrote that I can actually remember writing a letter and mailing it off Miss Piggy. Now I take that back. I just remembered senior year of high school, I wrote a letter. There was a friend of mine that was dating a girl that had a friend that lived out of state and it was prom season and they were trying to Paris up and that friend, my friend's girlfriend's best friend wrote me a letter, uh, basically hinting that she wanted to come to prom with us all and. And. I had already had my prom date set up, so I didn't feel like it would be the right thing to do. You know, break that one for this one. So I had a runner, and I, uh. Yeah, I didn't. I wrote her a nice letter back there. Kind of just was like, Yeah, that sounds cool, but, uh. Well, too late. But yeah. That was the last one I wrote. So that was 95. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So. Well, you're like the the cobbler's kids have no shoes. You're like, the mailman has no written letters. I know. I know. I'm the mailman that. Uh. That does all this banking and bill paying and everything online. Yeah, You know. Well, I guess that's the way it is, because, you know, I work for an airline, a commercial airline for 28 years. Uh huh. In the in the last 15 years, I hardly ever even flew. And we get we get fly free. So and, you know, at first we, we went everywhere but last 15 years or so. Well was just like I did not want to be in an airport. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, oh, I get to fly, I get to go to work. You know. And see my mom for Christmas this past year bought me this board game. I forgot the name of it, but it had the post office logo and it was about delivering mail or something like that. And it's like, really learn to play it. I'm like, I'm not playing that game. I'm not playing a game about delivering mail. You know? I like to. Do that in the real life. You know. In fact, when me and Holly started dating, I was doing a lot of walking on my mail routes. And I told her, I said, there's, uh, there's, there's two things I won't do. One is to go for a walk in the neighborhood because I've been doing it all day. And the second is, I don't go out in the snow and play. You know, just I. Get enough of all that at work. And I kind of do it when I'm home, so. And, uh, well. Oh, that's. That's me too. Cause I worked outside all the time and then my wife and I were opposite like I would come home from work. It was freezing cold is like, I won't be inside where it's warm in the summer. I won't be inside where it's cool, you know? And she was off. She had an indoor job, so yeah. Yeah, we were that way. And now Holly works from home, so now it's even worse because it's like I get home and want to stay home. She gets done with what she's doing, and she's like, I need to get out of here. Yeah, yeah. You know, so though it's opposite, but. Uh, going back to handwriting, I was going to tell you this. I've been reading this book on typefaces and fonts and stuff like that. Mm. And it sounds really boring, but it's really been fascinating and the reason I've been doing it, I'm kind of getting into doing like, a little graphic design work and stuff for fun. I'm not good enough to. You know, to do it. Really for anybody, but it's a lot of fun, just kind of a hobby. So I want to learn more about typefaces and fonts and that kind of thing. You know, the big letters in the alphabet are called capital letters. And do you know what the name of the small letters are? Lowercase. It's actually minuscule. What? Yeah, that's. The official name of them. And that blew me away. And the reason they're called uppercase and lowercase is back when they had printing presses, all the capital letters were kept in the uppercase, and the minuscule letters were kept in the lowercase. I mean, urn, how about that? And, uh, and so that was kind of the best practices of a printing press was to keep the letters separated like that. So then over time, capital became known as uppercase and the minuscule became known as lowercase. Wow. Interesting factor. Yeah. Uppercase. That that'd be a good a that that would be a good question for a trivia game or something. Yeah. Yeah. I love trivia games. You like playing trivia? No, I don't know. Enough man. Better. You know, I don't know. I honestly, I've only played, like, once and I was on the team. The guys were really good, so I didn't contribute much in like, Well, I'm never doing this again. So. Yeah, yeah. I love playing trivia. I don't know a lot about one thing, but I feel like I know something about everything. That's not to toot my own horn, but it's like I just just always kind of listened to all kinds of various different things, and it's kind of funny what you retain. Mm. Um. One time I was like, the MVP of the trivia. Um, game we were part of because it was around the holiday season. And one of the. Rounds was named that tune and it was all Christmas music. And the guy that was writing the answers, he just slid the paper in the pin over to me. And they. All took a break and. And let me name all the things and then the. There were ten of them. And then you got a bonus point if you could identify who was singing it. So we, we ended up with 20 points that round. Well, they don't call you brother Christmas for nothing. Well, no, no, that's true. But that, that. Was that was a lot of fun. But those trivia games are fun. Um. Sometimes it's just. Just a complete shot in the dark, but. Mm. So it's always, it's always a good time because I always wanted to play Trivial Pursuit with people and nobody ever wanted to play because I like it takes too long. And I'm like, when that play takes way longer and is way more boring. You know that, uh. Where the things that I know about are just so random and so useless that they would never make the questions in a trivia game. So I just. I just don't do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, I remember. Being at a trivia game and they were doing. Like, Oh. What's the name of certain groups of animals? And one was Rhinoceroses. And we had this guy that was a pharmacist on our team and he was like, That's a crash. That's a crash. It's called a crash. Rhinoceroses are called a crash. And we're like, Are you serious? It's like, is it's like, how are you doing that? He's like, I don't know. I just remember I heard the word. I mean, he was right. About a crash or a crash. What? What is a crash? It's a group of rhinoceroses. Okay? Like a curvier coil, I guess. Like a like a herd or a murder of crows. Hmm. You know, that kind of thing. So a crash? Yeah. I mean, I would never have guessed it. That I wouldn't have either. You know. At his herd, they're all called a herd. Yeah. I mean, that's good enough. If we say herd, everybody knows what you're talking about. Yeah, Yeah, but. Or just brothers. You know? Yeah. Different animals, for whatever reason, have different, uh, names for their groups. And I don't know who the. Who, what, when, why, where of all that, but so it's kind of interesting. But if you were out on a safari and you hollered, Here comes a crash rhinoceros, or if you said, Here comes a herd of rhinoceros, you'd better get out of the way. I think everybody would know what you was talking about if you heard. Yeah, I don't think. I think that's true. Those things are the things are cool. So big and strong and fast and mean. Like looking. Prehistoric. Yeah, really they are. So I think a lot of people know this, but it's like in Africa, more people are killed by hippos every year than anything else except mosquitoes. Mm. You know. And most people don't think of that. But yes, they're real territorial and such and people think they're just. You know. Basically water cows or whatever. Yeah. So yeah, I've seen on TV where people would be out there in little boats, you know, little have a little motors on them in the rhinoceros. I mean they can run in the water. I guess they're just so big and strong. Yeah. It's like sometimes the boat has trouble outrunning the rhinoceros, too. Oh, I mean, the hippopotamus, you know? Yeah. To stay out in front of. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe you're a wise pontoon boat, kid. Yeah, maybe. Well, you know, we've still got a gas engine on it. We, you know, we bought it or she bought it. Has a gas engine. This little lake that we live on. You can't have gas engines. It's like paddle, you know, like kayaks or electric trolling motors. So yeah, we still got to sail the trade motor on that thing and go sell it. They're a big motor. Yeah. Yeah. Those fishermen are always looking to spend money. So, um, you know. So. Yeah. Speaking of that, I got the dogs out again this week. I don't know. Yeah, they did a little better, but I've got one that just does not like the water. You know, standard poodles are supposed to be water dogs, and. But I have one. It just does not like me. And she's scared. She's got to get her feet wet. So she's pacing the whole time. The other ones kind of chilled out. But not Opal. Yeah, she's very nervous. Yeah, she's. A little nervous. Mm. Nelly, huh? Yeah. Oh, I get it. I get it. I'm not. I know. I don't know. Uh, I know enough not to drown in the water, and that's about it. Other than that, I'm not a strong at anything water related. Mm hmm. You know, you know. We go floating quite a bit around here. I haven't been for a while, and I'm one of those guys that like to go float down the river in the in the inner tube and not like the canoe or anything, because I'm just not great at it. And the few times I've done it has not gone well. You know. Yeah, it's, uh, so it, so. I'm, I'm not real strong. Holly, on the other hand, she used to swim in school competitively. Swim and play water polo. So she's. She's really good at that stuff. So she's a real swimmer? Yeah, she's been kayaking and all that stuff and really, really strong and loose blows to do that. Stuff. With Mary and I, we're both lifeguards when we were younger and so we both can swim really well and uh, with this little lake is spring fed, there's a bunch of springs and it's just clear there's a build. We get out there on pool noodles just after dark and get out there and just float around when it gets warm. We just. We just float around like it's a big swimming pool, you know? Uh, yeah, that's nice. See, that's why I, like, do. I'm a I'm a relaxing, you know, water guy. I'm not, I'm not too big into the. You know. I guess if I ever had the chance to do, like, white water rafting, I probably would. That looks fun. But you don't want me to be like the leader of the team. Um, you know, just. Yeah. So, Mary Ann, couple of years ago, her and some of her lady friends went on a float trip on the. It's called the Ocoee River. It's an East Tennessee. And they, their boat turned over. They had a guard and everything, but they got somehow it got sideways and they had to be rescued. Actually actually rescued. Some of them was like one lady was pinned up against a rock. And. Oh, yeah. You know, held a couple of couple of them down for a few minutes or not a few minutes, but longer than normal because of the turbulence where they went over like a fall. And Yeah. But we weren't there. So we were telling gosh you could, you know, you can't, can't let them get out and do anything, man. Yeah, you know, we weren't there to watch in the open. I remember years ago, this was, I don't know, late nineties or so, and I was dating a girl in her in her family. Want it to go floating down. There's a river here locally called the current River and everybody floats because it's so it's nice, It's not real fast or anything. And so we went and my girlfriend's sister's husband, her her brother in law couldn't swim. And so they put him with me in a canoe. And I've never I at the time, I had never done a canoe before. And so I was in a canoe with a guy that was terrified of the water. And I was sitting in the back trying to make the thing go where we wanted it to go. Mm. And I was slowly figuring it out, you know, and we kind of turned sideways once in real shallow water and stuff. And he come up just like way overdramatic. Is. He claimed he swallowed his dip. But I don't know if he did or didn't to tell you the truth. And then, and then, uh. The other time we were kind of going sideways a little bit, and there was like a rock. Bank. Like a gravel bank that you could, you know, kind of like a gravel beach, I should say. And I told him, I said, Bob, I said I said, we're getting a little sideways. Let's just run up on the on the beach there and get out, kind of reset these like, okay. And then he's like, We're going too fast. I guess he was afraid that soon as we hit that that beach that we would flip. And no, we wouldn't if he would stay steady. So in his. Genius. He reaches up and grabs a tree branch to help slow the boat down. Hmm. And it's like that didn't work at all. I mean, it. Doesn't slow the boat down when it flipped over. Yeah, you know, it's. Geez, it is. But that's been the best. The limit of my canoeing. I mean, I used to. Oh, like fish out of canoe and stuff like that, but I was always with somebody that like knew what they were doing. Mm. And I just never bothered. To, uh, to, to. Pick it up too much, you know, and, and things. And I was just going fishing to hang out with my, my buddies. That was never that big into it you know. Mm. Oh. Oh. Well I, I grew up canoeing about my first canoe when I was of my own when I was like 14 saving money, bought a canoe, you know. So I kind of grew up doing it. So I have a lot of canoe stories. I was almost drowned once in February and ice cold water. I didn't really almost drown, but yeah, I could hear it because it was it was a around 30 degrees and tipped over in a in a river because it was really rough. And luckily the Yeah. There was another couple of guys and another canoe that went with us and Yeah. And so they were able to save us. They had some extra clothes you know. Yeah. Like a five gallon bucket with the top on it. Yeah. So we put some extra, some warm dry clothes on and got in a canoe. So there was, there were three of us in his canoe, so it was pretty tipsy. So we just, we went on. Home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It, I guess I just never had good luck, like on, on the water other than at the beach. I've always had fun at the beach and, and stuff, but like, in lakes or rivers, I've just never had good luck. I remember going visit my aunt and uncle and. And he had, like, a john boat. And we'd go to the Osage River and. And fish and stuff. And then, uh, my cousins would water ski and I was, I don't know, ten, 11, 12 years old, something like that. They're like, You want to water skiing? Like, Sure. So they put the squeeze on and I get down on the water, my skis are sticking up and I'm holding on to the. Little. Rope with the handle thing, whatever they call that. And I remember my cousin Tim being like, whatever happens, don't let go of the rope. I was like, All right. And he's like, I'm serious. Whatever happens, don't let go of the rope. I was like, All right. So I'm sitting there and they're like, Ready? I'm like, ready. So they have. Like wave at my my. Uncle and he hits it. I come up, my skis come off and I'm being dragged. I'm holding on to the rope and I'm being dragged. I'm on my belly, you know. And for whatever I'm thinking about, nothing. Oh. In the in my uncle's going around. Of course, he just he's not looking behind and he can't hear you but holler at him. And I'm just sitting there sipping. On. My stomach in his bowl. And it finally he looks and sees. I'm just back there and he stops. So I stop. I still had to hold the rope, you know. So he wasn't getting away from you? No, no. I was going to hold on to it in the middle. I think the next summer they got one of those inner tubes being pulled behind now that I enjoyed, cause you just had to get on it and hold onto those handles. You didn't have to try to do anything else. So was skiing, man. I mean, I'm in Nashville where I grew up that we lived about five miles from a lake Percy Priest Lake and I grew up then I grew up skiing. Uh, probably that started when I was four years old, But that's the opposite. I mean, you're not supposed to when you fall, you're supposed to let go of the rope. You mean that's what you're supposed to do? Because you hang on to it, you drown. Do you mean if you're able to hang on to that water going up your nose? That was trying to happen to me, I guess. You know, you're supposed to let go of me. I had been I. Tried water skiing since. So yeah, I used to love water skiing. We'd go out there. My dad would get off work on Friday and my mom would have all the coolers packed up and we'd go out on the islands that said all our stuff out there, our tent and table and Coleman stove and all that. Leave that out there for the afternoon. Yeah. And then go ahead and ski until dark. And then we'd go out there, stay all day Saturday and all day Sunday and just ski and do whatever on the lake on it alone. Yeah. Yeah. My, my parents weren't, they weren't outdoors people. That was not something that they, I mean they didn't mind go to like to the river for like an afternoon or something but they weren't big outdoors people and we only really did it when we went to go visit my uncle up around central Missouri. And, uh, you know, we never just did it by ourselves. And there was a, a boys group at our church that we would go camping every once while at Shelter State Park and different things. And, and I would do that and I enjoyed it, but it just never was, you know, kind of a part of everything, you know, of something we did regularly as a family, you know. Oh, you know, my dad was a broadcast engineer for a local TV station for nearly 40 years and stuff. And so his, uh, you know, his big thing was like computers and electronics and things. So, uh. Like, my friends, they could work on their cars, but I could work on their VCR. You know, that's. Well, that's the reason you're the brains of this operation, you know, about all that stuff. So if anybody don't know the cards, the brains, this operation, it's kind of like, uh, I don't know Johnny Carson. I know it'd be my age, I guess, to really know about Johnny Carson. But what was his sidekicks name it? Ed McMahon. Ed McMahon. Todd is Johnny nominated? Pretty much. What it. Is. Is the paper pulled my forehead. And yeah, see. Todd pays me real good to laugh at all those jokes. Oh, yeah. I wonder. But checks and mail. Yeah. It's misspelled, though. Yeah. Look. But I know, I know it's. Not. You might venmo me, but I know for sure it's not in the mail. Banks like we can't deposit this. We're not sure what numbers these are. What does this. Say? This is Chinese writing. This is not English. Yeah, Yeah. So. But, but when you were talking about growing up and stuff. Yeah, I grew up. Yeah, I did stuff. I played sports, but I did a lot of stuff outdoors. I went backpacking and I mean, I remember one time, uh, we were down around Chattanooga, Chattanooga, Tennessee, and so I was trying to gather up some firewood, and there was this one little dead tree, you know, I didn't know Biderman in which I don't know what the chances of this happening really is, is probably not very good chance of it, but. It was. Only about as big around. It's like maybe a baseball would be. Uh huh. So I went up and I was able to push it over, just push it over and object and to drag it back to the camp for firewood. When I pushed it over, man, it was, it was like bees was a hive. It was down in the room. Yeah. And man, they got on me too. And that was pretty fast back in those days, and that was running through the woods. I was running over saplings and just anything in my way. And you could tell right where I went. It was like a mini tornado went through the woods. You know. They only get stung three or four times, which it could have been disastrous. I could have gotten stung like 100 times or more because there was a lot of bees. But yeah, but that was that's probably the worst thing that ever happened to me whenever I was out backpacking. Because, yeah. I've had a few things, like just a couple of things. Like I remember mowing the grass one summer when I was like a teenager, Mom and Dad's and I ran over like one of those ground business with the lawn mower and they come out and start popping me. And I remember trying to ride the lawnmower back up to the house, but it was too slow. So I hopped off and ran and I only got stung. I don't know. It was less than ten times, but one of them was like right on the lip. So my lip got monstrously big. You know. And, and stuff. And the other time was, was wasps. It was mahogany was, was Redmond. Mm. I, I was fairly new at Korean mail and there was a house that was vacant and I didn't know it was vacant, you know, I didn't know that no one lived there. It looked like someone lived there and, and they had a door slot. So I walked out the door and opened the storm door to put the mail in the door slot. You I know now it's just a piece of junk mail. And I felt something sting me and I swatted it and I was was I looked up and the whole top of the door jamb between the storm door and the front door was one big wasp nest. Oh, my goodness. And I shot that. I ended up getting stung, I don't know, two or three times as all I get stung because I get the door shut so fast. But holy cow, just that sight just kind of. It scared me. Yeah. Yeah, I can see you with your all your athleticism jumping off the porch and. Running back down the road. Right. But they did. They didn't get a hurry because they thought they'd catch up to me pretty easy. They're like, you know. We got this guy. This is an easy target right here. Yeah, Yeah. So. But yeah, those things, once they get once they get fired up. And, uh. Go, they just kind of just go crazy and it can turn from bad to worse. Yeah. I do not like red was, I mean, I don't know what their purpose on the earth is, but, uh, I wish it was something other than stinging. Yeah, those things hurt, man. Yeah, they do. Oh, my. The house we live in now. I used to have this. I don't even know what kind of tree it was, uh, in the front yard. It wasn't a monstrously big tree, but every year it would produce these, like, red berries. And, uh, and we noticed that there was always wasp around it. And we got to look at that effort. We looked up the kind of tree was, I don't remember the name, but it attracts wasps. So once fall came and the wasp went away, their gether, they cut down on Lionel near this tree. That bad, you know, dragging all those wasp and stuff because we were always getting wasp in the bushes next to the house and things like that. You know, the kids would be out there and, you know, throw the ball, the ball would hit the bush and that would rattle around and get them all mad and all that stuff. And and so since we got rid of that tree, we haven't, uh, uh, had a problem, um, you know, with them. I mean, they're still around because they're just still around, but it's not like crazy. Oh, the only time I have to watch for them is carrying mail when, uh, uh, those cluster boxes you see around, like, apartment buildings, they have those mail slots in there. Mm. Those wasp, like, flying into that mail slot building nests in there. Really. And so you go to open those mailboxes and if there's a nest, they want to come get you. So I always keep out, especially this time of year, I always keep an eye on see if they're building because you take care of it. When I was only like three or four of them in there, pretty easy, you know. So many. We're talking about those bees build a nest in the ground. I, I ran over one like that is probably about ten years ago, and it was the same thing. But I didn't get stung and but I jumped off the lawnmower and went running away real quick. And Mr. Cloyd lived across the street from us, and he was outside. He was an old guy that he was like 80 years old. And what were the came he came over and he said, you got bees because I guess he saw you, you know, Mr. Redwood in there. He said, Well, I got something for him. So he walks back up to his house, comes back in about 30 minutes, has this little gas can. He didn't say no and he just bought it. Walked up to the where the hole was and just poured it down in there and took a match and threw it in there. Just like. Wolf. This is like created this little miniature bomb. And he's like those so-and-so's they wouldn't they're not coming out any more, You know? And I'm like, great. So I'm scrambling trying to get them up my garden hose, you know, because there's a little fire to stop because it was dead middle of the summer and, you know, the grass is pretty darn dry. So I'm thinking, you know, burn the house down, keep the grass on fire and burn the house down. But it didn't. But it took care of. Yeah, took to be there. One of them never had problems. We had problems with those wood bees. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In our day I want to get real close and all the things in business, and we would always be like, Oh, they're going to get us. And then we learned they don't sting. And so that changed the game. So we'd go. After what tennis rackets. Turns on and yeah. To get rid of them. And then we use that the insulating foam put up in there, little holes, you know, to block them and ah, that needs to be replaced real soon. So we haven't seen in a while so we don't know of it. We just got them finally deterred and that come this direction or if our decks and such bad shape, they're like, Oh, we're. Not on foot with it. Yeah. Oh well man. What's, what's bad is, you know, they, they bore those holes up in there and they lay their eggs. Well, yeah, my neighbor up here, she has like a guest house, a little fishing cabin. Uh huh. And we have these giant woodpeckers over there, and I heard her over there when they hollered, Get out here, Go get out of here. And I went over and look, see what it was, because I could hear her outside and to go there, she said, Look at what the big woodpeckers done to my dick. Many look like Paul Bunyan. And being over there. There was a big chunk. Of wood laying on the ground and just big. He was trying to get in there to where those larva were. And yeah, those. But is you know, if the more bees is not, you know, bad enough the big woodpeckers have come in there. Oh yeah. Interior Dick. Oh yeah. They will. I mean it's just amazing to see all those holes that they were put, you know, even in a tree. You know, and, and stuff. But yeah, they'll, they'll get them in. And things and it's. It's wild, you know, it's like one problem leads to another leads to another. And I found, like. Uh. You know, the best way to get moles out of your yard is to kill the grubs. Hmm. You know, because that's. That's the thing, you know, that's, like, the main thing. They want to eat. You know? And I used to try to always get them hold and felt like I was fighting an endless battle. And then, uh, someone suggested, Hey, just put some grub killer down. And when I did that, they kind of left because they didn't have anything else to eat. Mm. You know, And, uh, so. But speaking of woodpeckers up here, my grandpa used to put rat traps on the side of his house to keep the woodpeckers from. Oh, my gosh, that might be against the law, man. Well, I mean, it was early. He was 83 years old, years old in the early, early nineties. I don't think he cared. I mean, the guy would use diesel fuel to kill as weeds. Yeah, I would put. It in a little sprayer. And it'll do to. The surface all summer long. Uh. It would definitely do it. Yeah. Windows does it does. Is it carpenter bees. Is that what those are called. Uh, we've always just caught them. Would be okay were they. Yeah. I've been told I haven't tried it but they're, they say they all look the same the size of the hole but they all look exactly the same. And it's amazing how it looks like it's. You've had an electric drill with the drill bit. Yeah, but I've been told it. It's either half inch or quarter inch. I forget which size is, but you can get like a wooden dowel, uh, and just put a little wood glue on it and stick it up in there and then cut it off. Flush, you know. Yeah. To fill that hole up. So it fits in there. Exactly. Perfect. I don't know. I'd like try that, though. Yeah, I think it's half inch best. I remember because I had looked into building my own, uh, would be traps. Um, because you can get a block of wood, and I forget exactly how it goes. Drill hole in it at a certain angle. And that would be like going up into a jar or bottle. And there's a certain direction they can't fly. So once they get up in there, they can't fly out. Hmm. You know, but it's kind of like those Japanese beetle traps, you know? It's like I just didn't want a big bottle of dead bugs. You know? It's like I'd rather deter them some other way, you know? I don't. I don't want to just kill them and kill them. I just want them to go live somewhere else. Yeah. Yeah, you. Know, kind of. Thing. But. Well, they sell. They sell those be trips in a hardware store up here. Yeah. In Jamestown. And they got this hardware store over. They. They get stuff to kill anything up there. You don't know. Move it if it flies or crawls or runs here or something to take care of it. Okay. Yeah. We got a hardware store. It's not local. This town's next town over. That's, like, the same thing. It's like they get something, kill everything, and they even sell guns. You know? They sure do, man. This place. You read the. Beauty about this man? I loved Jamestown up here. It's. It's great. It's up in them, up in the mountains. And, uh, but, you know, there's not a lot up here. But they did have that when we first moved up here. They had a hotdog stand. It was like one of those pre-fab log houses to sit out in the parking lot. And. But they sold hot dogs and in ammo you go there and get you a hot dog in a in a in a box of 45 to go saute it. They had them sitting up there on top of the cash register. So you can say when you pay for your food. And I it's. My kind of place where I'll take a hot dog, a box 45 and some. 22 magnums. To go, please. It's like. But I love it, man. I'm not kidding. I'm not making fun at all. I love this place up here. Oh. That's great. It's like, where's the relish in? Oh, by the way, I need some hollow points. You know. I'm not crazy with. I love this place. Yeah, Yeah. Our hardware store sales, guns, and. You know. All that stuff. Anything you need. I love it. Oh, I like going into going into ours because it's like there's tools that's been in there. For decades that no. One's bought, but they're still in the package. Yeah, Yeah. Hang in there. You know, like. It's like I always want to, like, grab one and be like, Can I get this at a discount? It's been here for a while. Yeah, this went out in 1809. It's always fun to find that new old stock stuff, you know, whether it's a tool or a part that you need. Um, because it's, it's. To me, it's just cool. I remember we talked about that record player of my dad's and, and things, but I remember need a new belt and I was able to find a new old stock belt that came in the like 19 early eighties packaging. It was just so cool to find something like that. And our hardware store is kind of has some spots that are kind of new old stock. Hmm. You know, and, and it's neat but. Yeah, you can't beat those The small town. Mm hmm. Yeah. Our hardware store up here, we actually have two hardware stores, but, uh, one of them has the old school lumber yard. It's outside under a yeah, like a another awning. But shit, I guess you would say. Uh huh. And like, Home Depot or Lowe's you saw inside here. It's outside, right? Just drive down. Drive down between them. And guys will come out there and load you up. Uh, yeah. Yeah, those are. Those are nice. In fact, we had to buy something by one of those square, like, Styrofoam ish sheets of insulation because Holly had some sheet goods that she needed, broke down, and you buy that insulation and you layer, you know, your plywood on top of it, and you can use your circle to cut it up and not have to worry about supporting it in. You. Don't cut all the way through that foam. You know, you just barely nicked the top of it. And and we went to Lowe's. Uh, well, in fact, it was on an Easter Sunday. We went to Lowe's and I was like, Don't you think it'll be closed off like it's Easter? They retail stores don't close on Easter. Well, they were. And there were a bunch closed, which was a nice surprise. So we ended up at Menards, which would be the place I would think would close, but they weren't. And the only reason I didn't want to go to Menards to begin with is because I'd had to walk in, walk all the way through the back. Mm. Yeah. Buy it from the guy at the computer after he took 10 minutes to look it up, walk all the way to the front, pay for the drive around to the back. To actually get it, you know. Sure. Whereas Lowe's is just all inside and I can just grab it and walk up front. Go out. But yeah. Oh, there's advantages, disadvantages to that. There's a bigger hardware store up the road called Buckets and they have the drive thru thing, but they actually load it for you. You don't get out of the truck. Mm hmm. Yeah, that's kind of cool. Yeah. So everything up here is pretty old school. And. Yeah. The hardware store does have like, because I like to grill and smoked meats and stuff and yeah, they have a really good selection of all that stuff up here, which I was really surprised and I'm glad they do. But they have, they have the good stuff, not the, the stuff you'd actually use, you know. Yeah. That's cool. That's cool. They're you can find that here too. That's how much my local hardware store in town, but a few of them. But, uh oh. You know, gas stations around here are big on all that stuff too. And, uh, and, and. Things, and, uh. Well. That's one thing I like about South is gas stations kind of, kind of a reliable source for about anything you need. Even food, man Up here, there's a yeah, we're very limited on places to eat up here, and the best places to eat are in gas stations. And before, before anybody makes judgment or makes fun of it, maybe you had to go up here and try. They got little old ladies in there cooking biscuits and tenderloin in the mornings, and. I hope. It is just because, you know, they can't really afford to have a stand alone building just for food. So they you go inside and they they put the restaurant inside, you know, and it's always full of old dudes in there hanging out and sitting around and oh. I'll never forget, you know, like I said before, Holly is from Southern California. I'll never forget when I told her I stopped every morning at the at the gas station, get a breakfast burrito before I had to work. She was like, Why you want diarrhea? What are you talking about? She goes, You don't eat at gas stations. That's gross. So the gas stations has the best. Food, you know. And it's like they got great breakfast burritos and they have like some of the best biscuits and gravy I've ever had. And in fact, they're fried chicken at lunch. Some of the best I've had. Do. Gee, she couldn't believe it till I finally convinced her to try it. And now she's all in. It's like you're around here, the south. You get the best food at the gas station, everywhere else. I don't know what you're missing, what you're doing wrong, but. They're missing out on opportunity. Yeah, but. I remember going out to California, and I'm one of these. Get a soda. I'm not a coffee drinker. I'm going to get a soda in the morning. I am here locally. I'm not sure how it is where you're at, and it's nothing for everybody to stop and grab like a 32 ounce soda on the way to work or sweet tea. Yeah. And, uh, I remember we in California go to the gas station course around here. They're like a dollar, you know, I think they're a dollar and a half. Finally, just like a year ago. And stop at a gas station, Get me a 32 ounce diet Mountain. Do you go up there and you guys, I guess $3, I'm thinking $23. And I'm like, Ah, here you goes. You must really like soda. Like he's never seen you. Bye bye. Like, yeah. I think in the south you're born with a 32 ounce Styrofoam cup in your hand. You mean. With. Yeah, with the best. The best place to eat in Jamestown, as far as I'm concerned, is a place called simply fresh and has a gas station on one side. And on the other side there is a wall and a door dividing the two. But they're connected and, you know, you go in the get tables to sit down. It's like a real restaurant. But the guy's from California. He was a chef out there. You know, he had real artistic his there are twos and a chain and, you know, he looks cool, man. He can throw down on some food, but it's connected to a gas station. So, yeah. You know, if that runs you off, you're missing out. If you come down and don't go to simply fresh, it's really good because you can actually get salads and it's good stuff there. Oh yeah. Sounds like it sounds like Yeah there's well we have we have a few pretty good restaurants here, but Town of Scott City is only like 4500 people. And we have some pretty solid restaurant choices. I mean, we don't have a lot, but they're pretty good. In fact, there's a a local family there from Mexico, and they started a a restaurant chain locally, a mexican restaurant. And their whole strategy is, is they only put the restaurants in towns that are like 5000 people or less. Mm. That way they don't have anybody to compete with. Right. And the food's really the food's really good and uh. And, and. So, you know, we have that, we have a couple, you know, local restaurants and stuff and, and in fact there's a place the next time you come for a visit, I got to take you to it. Um. I finally have. There have been. Everybody's been saying you got to try their hot wings. And. So I tried them, um, they're hot. Yes, but they're not, like, crazy hot. Um, I don't even think. I don't even. I wouldn't even. I don't know if I would say they were probably a little hotter than a hollow piano, but they're not hotter than half an arrow for sure. Mhm. But the flavor is so good and I was just blown away that they might be the best hot wings I've ever had. To be honest with you. So you like cooking, so. Yeah. Oh, because they start, they, they, they start off a little sweet and then they kind of get smoky and the heat. Hits you at the end. Mm hmm. And it doesn't, the heat doesn't get hotter. The how hot the ring is depends on how quick you eat. The next one. It's like it builds on top of each other. So if you eat them slow, they never really get that hot, you know, And but they, they were they were really good. I was it was wonderful because I don't like stuff to be hot. Just to be hot. It's got to have a flavor. Mm hmm. So, man, when you come out, let me tell you, you can tell me later on if you want these or not. But, man, I can cook the heck out of some chicken wings. Dude, my favorite and my most popular one is Raspberry Chipotle. They. Oh, yeah. And they have just they're just very do what I said. Yes, I'll take. So. When they're good, you know, and I can give away my secret it's a I just cook them on a Weber Weber grill. You know those round in a cook it at a real hot temperature like 500 degrees and I put a grill in addiction, which is like a barbecue rub. Put that on there. And then along with the killer hogs, it's called the barbecue rub. Sprinkle that on there. But, oh, before I do that, I cut them out with mayonnaise. Uh. You know, people like mayonnaise. What's that? But it's just when it cooks, it's just the oil. It's in the mayonnaise, and it's all to help get the skin kind of crispy instead of, like, soggy chicken wings. So it's kind of crispy and has it flavor the of the rub on there. But I also put a piece of applewood in there to give it a little applewood smoke flavor. Then they come out let them cool just a little bit and you coated with that raspberry called Blues is made by blues. Hog is the is the brand and it's Raspberry Chipotle. You just put them in there and roam around. And buddy, I have never had anybody not just clean the plate. We had some friends. Of. Mine that day. I told you, you had some friends coming over. I was cooking for them and they eat every one of them, you know. And I was in only three or four because, you know, I wanted them to have plenty that I didn't put enough is what it was, because I didn't know how much they would eat. Yeah. I didn't really cook enough, so I kind of throttled it back because normally I'm a good dozen plus. Yeah. Chicken way. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh let's. Roll cookie. Some of those will have that and then some and then some cherry homemade ice cream to top it off with. Oh, yeah, that sounds good. Sounds good. So I'll have to when you come by this way, Will, will cook for you. How? Holly's really good at it. And I could tell you what it could do. Yeah, she does any of it, but she's really good at air, and I have to make you my chili. I've had. I make chili that has won one chili cook off that I entered. Really? And a lot of people love my chili. So if you go in, I only cook it in, like, the fall and winter. I'm not a big chili in the summer kind of guy. You know, And and so. I don't really have a I have a few secrets to it. For one, I use a real lean ground beef. Mm hmm. That way you get kind of get a and then I season a season the ground beef like I would a steak that way get a real good hearty almost steak taste in it And then I found that red pepper flakes are the best way to get a good spicy chili without being so crazy that people don't want a Yeah. They don't want to eat it. And it doesn't really change the taste of it. I mean, the seasonings you put in, it's what you taste instead of some. Yeah. Some peppers can actually change the taste. They do. And I found even even if you get the wrong Halloween years, it makes it taste weird. Mm. To me. But I really like the red pepper. The red pepper on and there and then, and then sometimes I'll do some homemade cornbread whether the top of butter and, and the pawpaw chili on top of it. So. Well yeah, it's pretty good. Whenever I, whenever I come out of game and you had to make me some even if it's not folded you have to break your. Wrist. Yeah I will. I will. I'll, I'll, I'll break the rules. For you and well I went over to a buddy's house up here, up here that I made to make friends with the guy since I moved here. And he's a welder and he makes these rocket stoves. You ever seen a rocket stove. Like I have it? You just Google it or look it up on YouTube rocket stoves. But he makes them out of metal. And so he was going to cook me some show me how it works. And he's from Texas and he put a £2 of ground beef in £1 of sausage in there. Oh, wow. Yeah. And it was really tasty. It was really, really good. Yeah. But he doesn't put beans. He says if you put beans in your chili, it's not chili. That's, that's the Texas rule I think I like. I like being they have me. But I'm not one of those exclusionary ladies. I believe in unity. And peace and love. So my, my, my. My chili has meat and beans because I'm all bipartisan and stuff, and I'm not going to pick and choose winners and losers. Me, too. I've always put out, you know, I never I guess I have had chili with that beans a few times. But most down here in the south, we have beans and chili. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I've seen people fix it both ways with no meat, no, no beans. And I'm like, I don't. I don't get. It. You know. I'm not a big I'm not a big fan of, like, Cincinnati chili. It's a little. Sweet. I can eat it, you know, but. I'm not real big on, like, a sweet chili. Dude. I am. And I started putting honey and cinnamon in my chili and. Oh, my gosh, I love the. Oh, really? No, honey, it would be different. That's a different sweet. The one I had was like, sugary sweet. Hmm. I just wasn't digging it. But honey is a little bit different. Sweet, sweet things, too. It just gets you a bowl, your chili and put you some honey in there and cinnamon and see how you like it. It's sweet, but it's good. I like it. I'll try it. And I got that cinnamon from the Cincinnati chili, you know, because I have cinnamon in there. Yeah. Skylar, maybe it is possible that the Cincinnati chili I had was not good. So tonight, Chili. You know. And I just didn't know any better because I tried that once when I the first time I ever tried, like, Indian food, like chicken curry and stuff, it was terrible. But I knew eating it that this was bad Indian food. It wasn't prepared correctly. You know? Yeah. So I guess it would be possible that. That Cincinnati chili I have tried. Wasn't that great? Yeah. We at the place called Muddy Pond. Yeah. And it's a big Amish community out there. And. It's beautiful out there. I don't know if you've been around an Amish community, but everything is clean. You can tell when you drive by their farms because everything's manicured and you know they don't have a rotten post or there's no fence down. It's just all their gates are fully functional there, you know? It's just they're just they're just really well taken care of and went out there. My wife bought some flowers out there. There's a little restaurant out there that we eat it. And. Went out there and did that as it was. We wouldn't plant flowers or my wife has. Yeah, we have a small Amish community not too far from here. That's pretty neat. But muddy pond. It's a heck of a name. And yeah. Do they have, like, a store, like the classic Amish. Store. That you go and buy all these? Like, basically, like, bought food kind of things? They sure do. They're in bags and not canned, you know, the beans and whatever. Yeah, about some, about some sorghum molasses. Yeah. I'm out there because I'm on one this molasses sugar cookie kit and oh yeah, I've been making those there. So when I went got me some molasses to make those with. You know. The real thing, you know. Yeah. Our, our early store has like a deli in it by like sandwiches and stuff. And a man with that much meat that they make is so good. About time to get so. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, I want to thank everybody, and then I'll get those two for ten an end to this episode of On the Porch and just remember to like subscribe review on whatever podcasting app you choose and follow us on Instagram at up on the porch pod. And like I said, Facebook coming soon. Drop us a message there on Instagram or email us at. Join us on the pod. Oh, that's wrong email. It's the wrong email address. The email is join us on the porch. And G-mail dot com. So again, I guess it's your turn to take us home, Bob. All right. I want to thank everybody for listening to Todd and Ken on the porch. And we're going.