The Tilted Halo
The Tilted Halo podcast has a refreshing and honest perspective on the challenges pastors face in their ministry and those involved in ministry as a whole. Hosted by Pastor Kathleen Panning, who has seen it all, this edgy show explores the idea that we all have a "tilted halo" - a recognition that we are not perfect and all make mistakes.
Through personal experiences, interviews with fellow pastors, leaders, and insights from scripture, this show offers advice and encouragement for those struggling with the weight of their imperfections. From burnout and rude awakenings to personal failures and shortcomings, The Tilted Halo provides a safe space for pastors to share their struggles and find support from a community of like-minded souls around the globe.
With a focus on authenticity, vulnerability, and humanity at large, this podcast challenges the notion that pastors must have it all together and invites listeners to embrace their humanity and lean into the grace of God. Whether you are a pastor or someone looking for a fresh perspective on life's challenges, The Tilted Halo is a must-listen in the search for hope, healing, and a renewed sense of purpose.
The Tilted Halo
EP 63: Finding God in Your "What If" Moments
Ever noticed how two simple words—"what if"—can simultaneously inspire dreams and provoke anxiety? That's the fascinating paradox I, Pastor Kathleen Panning, will unpack in this thought-provoking episode of The Tilted Halo.
Remember childhood make-believe? Those carefree days when we'd imagine being teachers, doctors, astronauts—or even pastors—without concern for practicality or limitations? I share how this childhood imagination contrasts with our adult tendency to restrict possibilities, especially in ministry settings. Drawing from personal experience, she illustrates how "what if" thinking transformed a simple church roof repair into an opportunity for substantial improvements that better served the congregation's needs. These moments of creative possibility represent the positive power of asking "what if?"
But there's another side to these words. The fear-based what-ifs that can paralyze us: What if conflict divides the congregation? What if finances falter? What if illness strikes? I vulnerably share my own encounters with challenging ministry moments that made me question my calling. Yet, these very redirections often reveal unexpected pathways and opportunities for growth. The theological anchoring of the episode comes through a powerful reminder that Emmanuel—"God with us"—means divine presence in both our exciting possibilities and our greatest fears. Just as God remained with the exiled Israelites and walked with us through the valley of the shadow of death, we're never alone in our what-ifs.
Ready to transform how you approach uncertainty? Listen now and discover how embracing both your hopeful and fearful what-ifs might reveal God's presence in unexpected places.
Welcome to the Tilted Halo.
Speaker 1:This is a new podcast and it's for anybody who's a woman in ministry. You might be a pastor like myself, a bishop, a priest, a rabbi, music minister, elder children's minister whatever your title is, you're absolutely in the right place, especially if you're someone who loves your ministry and you're doing it well and you're feeling pressure to sometimes be perfect and deep down inside, you know you're not. And how in the world to deal with that? And men, you're absolutely welcome here too, because this is about ministry and the same thing can happen to you. So you're all in the right place. Let's get started with the show. Welcome to another edition of the Tilted Halo.
Speaker 1:I am your host, Pastor Kathleen Panning, and I am talking today about two little words if and what, and when we put them together as what if they form a sentence and a dot dot dot after the if, what, if? What is a sentence or a phrase, two words that, combined like that, are pregnant with possibilities. They talk about what if? I can remember as a child, playing and doing you know, playing, pretend what if I were a teacher? This is what I would do. Didn't say the what if, but the make-believe part of it was a way of me saying what if? What if I were a doctor, or playing doctor, playing nurse, what if? What would that look like as a doctor or a nurse or a teacher, or even as a pastor? Yeah, I even played church as a kid, Grew up in a family where faith, community, was very, very important. You were, we were, I was as a in church every single Sunday, no exceptions, unless very, very sick. That was the only excuse for not being in worship on Sunday mornings. So what if I were a pastor? You know, it seemed just possible as a child to play make-believe, and no less believable as a child than being a doctor or a teacher or, at one point, an astronaut. You know, any of those kinds of things in my childhood imagination were possible. In my childhood imagination were possible. The reality was, however, that as a child it was not possible for me to be a pastor. So what if?
Speaker 1:Can also be used in the things of oh, this could be possible in a good way, but it can also be used in kind of a way of saying oh no, don't you dare go there. We've all heard of parents who say well, what if the neighbors find out? Or what if somebody else saw you? What if somebody else saw you? You know, kind of as a way of putting the brakes on something we are thinking about. I talk about all of this what if? Things in my book Tilted Halo, exposing the truth of women in ministry and untold stories, but there's always more to it than what I can talk about in that book. There's some really good juicy stuff in there. But think about all of this as a pastor, as a woman of faith in any kind of leadership, whatever that may be, or as a man of faith in some sort of leadership too. What if? How do you use that? As a man of faith in some sort of leadership too, what if? How do you use that? And you talk with people around you in a committee meeting, in a board meeting, whatever it may be. What kind of what ifs do you do? What kind of what ifs do you propose? What if can be this jumping off point, the springboard for a brainstorming session?
Speaker 1:I remember doing that with a congregation that my husband and I served. They had a leaky roof in their education building and it had been leaking for quite a number of years already. So on Sunday mornings, if it had rained and we were coming for the adult Sunday school class, which was in the fellowship area of that education building. There were some buckets around because that was to catch the water from the roof where it leaked, and so it was really time to think about getting that repaired. But then the question became well, is that the only thing we need to think about? What if we did something else? What if? Could you dream, Could you envision something more? And it's amazing what they came up with. We came up with a whole list of things, and one of the things on there was putting in an elevator so that when there was a funeral, instead of carrying the casket up and down I think it's 12 steps at the front of the church building leading into the sanctuary, the steps which became slippery when wet because there were stone. What if we put it in an elevator? What if we had two very nice restrooms that were handicapped accessible? What if? What if Became wonderful possibilities?
Speaker 1:But I've also experienced what if, as you know, what if that really did happen? And there are companies who think about the negative what-ifs as a way of, you know, risk management. Well, what if somebody reached into this machine and, you know, while it was running. What if that happened? And you know, is there a mechanism we can put in an automatic brake or something to prevent injuries? What if?
Speaker 1:Risk management, driver education simulators you know if you had those when you were a kid for driver education, it was a way of, yes, teaching how to maneuver a vehicle before actually getting into it's raining and the road is slick and you start to slide, or icy and you start to slide. What if that happened? How do you react? What are the good things to do? What are the things that are not so good to do?
Speaker 1:But then there are all of those what ifs about what if this happens. And it's something that we're afraid of, Something that is, you know, we see as a real negative that. Could it really happen? And what if it did? There was something like that that happened to me at one point in my ministry and that's what I talk about in my book A what if? A negative experience, something that really wasn't what I was expecting at all and had to deal with. Well, what if now? What if I can't go on like that? What if it means I can't be a pastor anymore? What if? And there were the negative what ifs to deal with. But you know what, Even when things we call bad happen, even when the unexpected and scary happens, it can be very difficult, I'm not denying any of that at all.
Speaker 1:But it can also be an opportunity. An opportunity to see God, to see ourselves, to see a future in a very different light, one that we probably never considered with any delight, perhaps maybe never even considered at all, but it can open up all kinds of new doors as possibilities. What if, yeah, what if I don't know what? Your what ifs are the good ones? I suggest you think about those and write those down, but also think about the ones that you're maybe kind of afraid of.
Speaker 1:What if the little disagreement in the congregation continues and becomes gnawing away like a cancer and starts to divide people, becomes a major conflict? What if the economy doesn't do so well and how that will affect ministry, your business, whatever it may be? What if the stock market goes down and you lose some of that retirement nest egg? What if there's a recession? What if? What if you know? What if you get ill? What if that spot that you're a little bit concerned about turns out to be melanoma? What if, yeah, what if? What? If?
Speaker 1:Indeed, when is God in the midst of all of these what-ifs that we put on ourselves and on other people? What if all of that does happen? Where is God in the midst of your what-ifs? Where is your faith in the midst of all of these what-ifs? Where is the opportunity in the what-ifs, the opportunity to give thanks, yes, to be grateful. And who would you be grateful to and for? What if this thing that we don't want becomes the reality we have to deal with? You know, even in the midst of that, in my own experience, the negatives or what we call negatives redirections in life that you know, the veering off in a totally different direction that we had no intention of taking, didn't even know, was there perhaps? What if that's a new path for some exciting new possibilities? Yes, what if we can?
Speaker 1:What if ourselves into a box and find that you know it's a scary place. You know it's a scary place, confining ourselves with the fears of what other people might say, what other people might think, what could possibly happen. That's all bad and wrong. Or we can take those what ifs and say, hmm, yeah, what if that happened? Where might the opportunity be in that? Where might we be able to see our faith a little differently. Where might that redirect our lives, our ministry, our faith, our caring for other people? Where could this possibly lead? That's delicious and good. That's something you know. It's a whole new discovery.
Speaker 1:What if? So today I offer you a whole time on what if? I suggest you write down the what ifs. What if, thinking about the dreams and the hopes you have, write them down. What if those things came to be? What would you do with them? What's the possibilities there? What if some of the things you don't want actually come to be? What is it that you fear about those? What is a step that you can take now to be in movement and so that you know, you recognize the possibility but aren't frozen by those fears, by the negative possibilities, that you open up the box that those can create and see God still leading in the midst of that. That's a whole ministry all in and of itself. What if?
Speaker 1:What if God's there, Really there? The people of Israel, when they were in exile, thought that they had been abandoned by God, but what if God was there all the time with them? In the 23rd Psalm, yea, I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. You are with me, your rod and your staff. They comfort me. We dare not forget that.
Speaker 1:So, whatever the what-ifs are that happen in our lives the good ones God is there with us too and the ones that we really didn't want to have happen, God is there with us too. That's the meaning of the name of Jesus as Emmanuel. God with us, Not just when everything's roses and fine, Not just in the ordinary days, but especially in the hard ones too. God is there, Jesus is with us, God with us. That's a wonderful thought, and peaceable. It brings peace, A thought that brings peace and comfort to each and every one of us, and that is what I wish to leave with you today. So what if? Yeah, what if? What if? God is there no matter what? What if, as faith leaders in professional ministry or in everyday life, ministry? What if? God gives us new opportunities, maybe some we weren't really wanting, but new opportunities for ministry and for growth. God's still there, in the midst of those with us.
Speaker 1:So please come back for next time. Leave me some comments likes, whatever, Look for my book Tilted Halo, Exposing the Truth of Women in Ministry and Untold Stories, and come back again for another episode. So until then, peace blessings. Take care. You have been listening to Tilted Halo with me, Kathleen Panning. What did you think about this episode? I'd really like to hear from you. Leave me some comments. Be sure to like, subscribe and share this episode and catch another upcoming episode. For more conversation on ministry, life, mindset and a whole lot more, Go to wwwtiltedhalohelpcom, where I've got a resource guide and other resources waiting for you, and be sure to say hi to me, Kathleen Panning, on LinkedIn. See you on the next episode.