In My Kitchen with Paula

Whip Up Wellbeing: Character Strengths in Action (Part 2)

• Paula Mohammed • Episode 34

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What if your best travel companion isn’t your passport—but your personality?

In this solo episode, host Paula Mohammed continues the conversation on character strengths—those deeply personal yet often overlooked qualities that shape how we connect, cook, and travel. 

Building on episode 33, Paula explores how our signature strengths like curiosity, kindness, and humor show up in everyday moments—from bustling street markets to quiet shared meals with strangers.

She shares personal stories, including a dog bite in Portugal (yes, really) and a watermelon dinner on a Greek ferry, to illustrate how mindfulness and character strengths can guide us through both joyful and challenging moments.

We talk about:

🧭 How character strengths like humility and zest can deepen our travel experiences
 🐾 Why mindfulness + strengths can turn reactive moments into intentional ones
 ⚡ Paula’s go-to tools for navigating “hot buttons” and cultural differences

Whether you're planning your next trip or reflecting on your last, this episode is a reminder that the best tools for connection—and growth—are already within you.


HELPFUL LINKS

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SAY HELLO

In My Kitchen creates connections one dish at a time, by exploring culture through food. I do this through unique culinary workshops, speaking engagements, and of course, this podcast.

I'd love to hear from you! Connect with me in one of three ways:

Paula Mohammed:

Hi, I'm Paula Mohammed and welcome to In My Kitchen with Paula. This podcast is a gathering place for culinary adventures who love to travel. Every week, we'll come together with chefs, cookbook authors, talented home cooks, and everyone in between to talk about their story and their unique dish using food as the vehicle will take a ride into the ins and outs of their culture and country. Come on, let's get this party started. Hello, and welcome to In My Kitchen with Paula. I'm so glad you're here with me today. Whether you're chopping veggies, on a walk, or perhaps on a plane heading towards your next adventure, I hope this episode will provide some new insight and perhaps even ignite some new thoughts and action. Today's episode is continuing the talk around character strengths. So if you didn't get a chance, listen to episode 32, which introduces character strengths: those beautiful qualities we each carry often unnoticed, but deeply powerful. We'll continue to explore how they show up in our travels, our cooking, and the way we connect across cultures. Why we should be aware and, and even care about them and we'll also talk about those tricky moments when we feel triggered or challenged. And how mindfulness and character strengths together can help us respond with more clarity and compassion, especially around our travels, food and culture. Carrying on from the last episode, I'm gonna quickly just do a recap on what character strengths are and how you can identify yours. Let's get right into it. Character strengths are the positive parts of our personality, like curiosity, kindness, perseverance, or gratitude. They are are inner resources we can draw on to meet challenges, build relationships, and live with purpose. The Via or VIA institute on character, where psychologist Dr. Ryan Niemiec has done some great work, identifies 24 universal character strengths, things like creativity, love of learning, humility, hope, and many others. We all have character strengths to different degrees, kind of like, um, like ingredients in a well-stocked pantry. Some we use every day. Others might be sitting on the shelf waiting for their moment. These strengths shape how we show up in the world and how we connect with one another. I highly recommend you take the free VIA Character Strength survey to identify your character strengths and it'll rank them in order. And the top five to seven become your signature character strengths. And to learn more about identifying your signature character strengths, have a listen to episode 32. Let's take a look at character strengths in action in travel, cooking, and culture. Imagine you're traveling through Morocco, the air is warm, the scent of spices hang in the breeze, and someone invites you into their home to share a meal. Now, this is my favorite kind of travel day. You may not speak the same language, but with curiosity, humility, and a little courage, you connect over food, laughter, and shared experience. I'll never forget a personal experience of this many years ago, so back in the nineties. My backpacking buddy, Deena, and I were traveling on the Brinidisi Ferry overnight, heading to the Greek Islands. Probably the island of Corfu, if I remember correctly. We were on the upper outside deck with a large watermelon for dinner and a bottle of wine. We met this lovely young couple, I think they were from Brazil. Uh, not a word of English, and we didn't speak Portuguese. We had a real connection with them though through sharing our watermelon, wine, laughing together, and listening to each other's tape cassettes in our Walkmans. We spent seven hours connecting literally over food, laughter, music, and of course cheap wine. I'll always remember them and the wonderful experience we had. Just this warm hug full of positive emotions that came out of that time together. Uh, another example, maybe you're participating in an In My Kitchen culinary experience, cooking with one of our hosts from a, a different cultural background, and of course other guests. You lean into your love of learning to understand a new recipe. Your gratitude to honor the tradition behind it and your teamwork to collaborate in the kitchen. Character strengths are alive in these moments, whether it's patience while a stew simmers or zest as you try something totally new. They help us bridge cultural gaps, handle awkward missteps, and find connection in the unfamiliar. Now, life isn't always smooth. Sometimes we feel stressed, irritated or overwhelmed, especially when we're in unfamiliar places or situations. This is where mindfulness comes in. Now, I'm sure we've all heard about mindfulness and the research-based evidence around mindfulness now and how good it is for us. Mindfulness is the practice of being present: open and non-judgmental. It helps us pause, notice what's happening inside us and choose how we want to respond. So basically it's pause, awareness, response. Dr. Ryan Niemiec talks about how mindfulness and character strengths work beautifully together. When we're mindful, we notice our strengths and use them more intentionally rather than reacting out of habit. Dr. Niemiec, who in addition to being a psychologist, so he's also the education director of the VIA Institute on Character, has pioneered an approach that integrates mindfulness and character strengths in a simple, powerful way. He emphasizes that mindfulness helps us become aware of our inner experience, while character strengths give us a practical language for action. Mindfulness alone can create calm and clarity, but when we pair it with the active use of our strengths, we move from being, uh, just aware to engaging with purpose. This idea is expressed in Niemiec's program called Mindfulness Based Strengths Practice, or MBSP for short. So what is MBSP exactly? It's an evidence-based program that brings together. As I mentioned, mindfulness practices, so that's like the breathing exercises, body scans and mindful awareness of emotions. So it brings mindfulness of practices together with character strength exploration. And character strengths. Exploration is identifying, reflecting on, and using strengths in daily life. The goal of MBSP is to increase wellbeing, strengthen relationships, and help people live with more meaning and intention. So let's take a look at what this looks like. You might learn to observe your reactions in a stressful moment, and then use a strength like perspective or forgiveness to respond thoughtfully. Or you might reflect on your day and notice how you used your creativity or humility character strengths, and how that shaped your experience. Uh, I wanna share another personal story with you about where I used mindfulness and character strengths. In a recent trip to Portugal, I was traveling with my partner Steve, and we were in a remote village in the Alentejo region. And nobody was around. Um, very narrow, not even roads, I'd call them cobblestone laneways. And we were going through, and there were two dogs lying in the middle of the road. And because they're so narrow, there was no room for us to go around. So, Steve says to me, he's driving and he says,"yeah, Paula just go out and shoo the dogs. It's not like they're gonna bite you or anything." Now, just a little bit of background. Steve is not the dog guy. I've grown up with dogs since I was born and I, I know, I know better. I. But I decided to go with the flow, and I went out and I shooed the dogs or tried to, and you can guess pretty much what happened. Uh, the dogs turned on me and bit me. Ripped through my brand new jeans and broke the skin. It wasn't a horrific bite, but I knew because it was bleeding, the skin was broken and I would need to get this dealt with. So my immediate reaction, of course, was, well, fear. And I ran to the car, jumped in, and immediately what I would've done was, would be look at Steve and go,"what the hell? Why did you send me out there into a pack of dogs, dah, dah, dah." It wasn't a pack, it was just two. But I didn't, I actually paused and that split second of a pause made me, uh, think about what I wanted to draw on, what character strengths I wanted to draw on. And this is because I've been practicing this, right? It's becoming a bit of a habit, so I wouldn't normally pause. But, uh, I've built in this habit now trying to take a moment to pause before I react. So I drew on the character strength of forgiveness. Now it's not like I sat there in my head going through them all saying, oh, I'm gonna draw on this one. It was a very natural reaction, but it was because I just took that moment to pause that it allowed me to be thoughtful and then I could think about how I wanted to move forward. And in that moment I also realized that I knew better. I knew I was going against my intuition and it was on me and solely me that I put myself in that situation. Now, luckily, S and I both have humor as one of our signature strengths, and we eventually started laughing about it. Not immediately. It took a, took a little bit of time. Um, even though this, so after the bite, uh, this then led to us trying to get the bite cleaned out. Figure out if I needed a rabies shot or not. We went to four different hospitals and nine hours of waiting. At the end of the day, just to give you some closure to the story, uh, I didn't need a rabies shot. Portugal's been eradicated of rabies, but because nobody spoke English, it was very difficult to get to that point. But if you ever get bitten by a dog or in any kind of animal that breaks a skin or brushes your skin, always see a doctor. Because they gave me a heavy dose of antibiotics and cleaned it out. So this is just a little side travel note, uh, but it's the infection that you really need to be worried about. You can start using mindfulness and character strengths together right away by asking yourself regularly,"which of my strengths can I bring forward right now?" And again, in that split second, I paused and I changed the direction of my reaction or how I was gonna react. I didn't necessarily go through all my character strengths and then decide which one. It just came quite naturally, because once you start practicing it, it does become a habit. This simple habit transforms how we meet challenges, how we connect with others, and savour joyful, delicious moments. And if you remember from a previous episode, um, with Sonia Bozzi talking about, we were in Italy, in Parma and Moderno, she talks a lot about the savouring and how that's an Italian way of life. Uh, okay. Another example. Let's say you're at a crowded street market, someone bumps into you. It's hot, 40 degrees out. You're flustered, you're snappy. Your first reaction might be irritation. But if you take a breath and become aware,"I'm feeling tense", you create space to choose a different response. Maybe with forgiveness or perspective or self-regulation. It's not about being perfect, it's about practice. VIA Institute on Character Strengths defines this approach to developing character strengths of mindfulness like this. Let go of being a good person and aim to be a better person. I'm gonna repeat that again. Let go of being a good person and aim to be a better person. This really hit home for me, and if you're a perfectionist or tend to lean that way or always thinking about what you should be doing, I think this is really gonna hit home for you too. Okay. Last week's episode, I introduced hot buttons around character strengths and promised to share with you a couple of strategies in this week's episode to help manage them. So sometimes our strongest values can also be our greatest triggers. Dr. Niemiec calls these hot buttons. A hot button gets pushed when one of your top character strengths is challenged or dismissed. This was another huge aha moment for me. So hot buttons get pushed or you get triggered when one of your top character strengths is challenged or dismissed, or underused or overused. So for example, if you deeply value fairness, injustice can make your blood boil. If kindness is important to you, cold or harsh behavior can really sting. If honesty is your anchor, even small white lies might bother you. These triggers can spark tension, especially in cross-cultural interactions where norms and expectations differ. So a personal example for me when a hot button of mine is pushed is when someone I am with makes a face or comment of disgust when trying a new food, especially from a different culture. And this is, I think, a very common type of hot button moment in cross-cultural experiences. When someone reacts with visible disgust or dismissiveness after trying a new food, especially in another country, the character strength being triggered for me is appreciation of beauty and excellence, which is one of my signature character strengths. This strength is about valuing and respecting excellence, skill and beauty in all forms, including cultural traditions, craftsmanship and culinary heritage. So in the context of food and culture, I see traditional dishes as expressions of identity, history, and artistry. When someone makes a face or reacts dismissively or with disgust, it feels to me like they're disrespecting more than just the food. They're rejecting something deeply meaningful to another culture. That reaction feels not just impolite but a violation of respect and reverence, especially because curiosity, kindness and fairness are also my signature strengths. While our character strengths are universal, so again, in episode 32, I talk about how these 24 strengths came to be and they actually, um, are universal, meaning they cross cultures. However, how we express them is shaped by our culture. And there's more research that needs to be done according to Dr. Seligman and Dr. Peterson who created or developed these character strengths. So more research to be done around this cross-cultural experience of them. And I can't wait to see what comes from that. So how we express them is shaped by culture. What feels like a core value to one person might look unfamiliar or even off-putting in another culture. That's where mindfulness and character strengths come together in our travels and through exploring culture through food too. To help us understand, regulate, and respond with empathy. As Niemiec reminds us: pause with mindfulness, choose with strengths. Okay, so the two helpful strategies that I wanted to share with you, um, are, again, Dr. Niemiec, uh, created these strategies: retrospective management is one and preventative management. So let's just, uh, break it down a bit. They're super simple and easy to use. Retrospective management. This approach happens after the moment has passed. It helps you reflect and grow. Here's how: ask what strength of mine was being triggered. Think was I overusing, underusing, or misusing that strength? Consider how could I use it more skillfully next time? Okay. Here's something that I example, and this is something I'm very guilty of. Picture yourself helping to prepare a group dinner and no one's listening to your input, so you get a bit snappy. Later, you realize your leadership strength felt dismissed. Looking back, you think next time I can balance leadership with a bit more humility or teamwork. It's really a compassionate way to learn and do better next time. Or in the example where someone expressed a dislike for food, um, or disgusted for food, I can balance out my signature character strength of appreciation for beauty and excellence with some curiosity, which is another signature strength of mine. I could have asked the person more about what they don't like. Is it the taste? The texture? Versus jumping to the assumption they were intentionally insulting the culture, but I can't help but add, please don't show or express disgust, just quietly don't eat it. If, if you must, if you. Really though, try everything. Okay, the second strategy: preventative management. This one is about looking ahead. So you anticipate going into a situation where your hot buttons might get pushed and prepare in advance. So the steps: identify your triggers. Before going into a situation ask which of my strengths might be challenged here, and then choose a supporting strength to bring with you. An example: you're about to go on a trip with a friend. I'm sure we've all been in this situation. This friend loves to make last minute decisions, just kind of go on the fly. You are a planner. You value prudence. Instead of resisting, you decide to lean into flexibility and humor. You remind yourself this isn't about a perfect itinerary, it's about enjoying the journey. Remember, you're not denying your strength, you're rounding it out. So all this talk about character strengths that I've done in the last two weeks, I just wanna bring it together and, and answer the question,"why should I embrace my character strengths?", especially those signature strengths. Beyond managing our strengths when they're challenged, why should we embrace and use our signature character strengths even more often? Because when we do, we thrive. Research shows that using your signature strengths, those that feel most natural and energizing, can lead to greater happiness and life satisfaction, increased positive emotions, stronger relationships, and better stress resilience. Think of it like the emotional superfoods for our personality. So the science behind it, I'm coming back to this broaden and build theory that I first introduced in episode 28, psychologist Dr. Barbara Fredrickson offers a powerful explanation through her broaden and build theory of positive emotions. The theory says that when we experience positive emotions like joy, gratitude, interest, and love, our minds and hearts open up, we become more curious, more creative, more generous, and more connected. Over time, these broadened emotional states build lasting inner resources. So we get a immediate feel good from it but the cool thing is, is that there's a long lasting effect. So it's builds lasting inner resources like mental resilience, social support, and even physical wellbeing. And one of the best ways to create positive emotions: using your signature character strengths in new and intentional ways. If your strength is curiosity, explore a new dish or ask questions about someone's cultural traditions. I love doing the podcast episode when I interview our guests because one of my signature strengths is curiosity. The show brings me a lot of meaning and joy, and I just love it. If it's kindness for you offer to cook for a neighbor. If it's humor, lighten up a tense dinner table with a gentle joke. Every time you lean into your strengths, you're not just feeling good in that moment, you're expanding your capacity to grow, connect, and contribute. Cooking, eating and connecting across cultures are rich opportunities to grow. This is why I love In My Kitchen. From every guest on the show we've had to our In My Kitchen hosts to every student who's participated in one of our cooking experiences or the afterschool cooking club. We use curiosity to explore new recipes, bravery to try new customs or travel on your own. Perspective to listen and learn from others. And yes, self-regulation when someone suggests you get out and shoo away the stray dogs, and they bite you. Mindfulness gives us space. Strengths gives us tools. Together, they help us show up whether we're hosting a dinner, traveling abroad by ourselves or with a partner. Or having a heart to heart with someone different from us. When we bring awareness and strengths into the kitchen, around the table and out into the world, we're not just nourishing ourselves, we're creating little ripples of joy, understanding, and resilience in everyone around us too. Thank you for spending this time with me today. As you move through the week, try noticing your character strengths in action. Which ones feel most natural to you? Which ones might you like to use more? And if you're not sure what your signature strengths are, you can take the free VIA Character Strengths survey online at viacharacter.org. It only takes about 15 minutes. I have no affiliation with them, and it's a wonderful way to learn more about the best parts of who you are. If you love this episode, please leave us a review and rate the show on Apple Podcasts. You have to click on the three dots on the Apple podcast episode, and then click go to show. Scroll down halfway and you'll see rate and review. Also, even better, if you think of someone in your life who would enjoy or benefit from this episode, please, please share it with them. Until next time, happy cooking and happy travels.

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Paula Mohammed

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