
In My Kitchen with Paula
Hi, I’m Paula Mohammed, welcome to my podcast: In My Kitchen with Paula. This podcast is a gathering place for culinary adventurers who love to travel.
Here’s a little about me…
My parents came from very different backgrounds, so I grew up with cultural influences from Pakistan, Japan, Italy, and New Zealand. In our family kitchen, the different traditions, recipes, and stories mingled together to create meals that were fun, inspiring, and memorable.
This inspired a love of travel and cooking in me that continues today. AND a curiosity about the people behind the dishes.
I’m also the founder and CEO of In My Kitchen. We teach in-person and online cooking classes where my team of passionate home cooks from diverse cultures invite you into their kitchens to share their recipes, stories and travel gems.
On this podcast, we’ll explore the people, cultures and recipes from your travel bucket lists. Every week we’ll come together with a new guest and their unique dish. Using the dish as the vehicle, we’ll take a ride into the ins and outs of their culture and country. Along the way we’ll gather some insider travel tips that only a local knows, have a new recipe to try and basically just hang out…in my kitchen.
So grab your favourite beverage and join me on a culinary adventure!
In My Kitchen with Paula
Flavourful Bonds Part 1: Kindness Served Warm
Haver you ever wondered how food can create deeper, meaningful relationships?
In this first episode of our special four-part series, Flavourful Bonds, we delve into the VIA character strengths and how they manifest in different cultures. This week, we're kicking off with 'Kindness Served Warm' and exploring love, kindness, and gratitude through memorable meals and personal stories.
We’ll travel from my own kitchen to the homes of Suha, Naomi and visit Japan, and the warm hearts of New Zealanders. You’ll not only hear about diverse culinary traditions but also practice some reflections and a powerful exercise to boost your well-being. Ready to discover how food can be a universal language of kindness?
We Talk About
💫The Soul of Hospitality: Love, Kindness, and Gratitude
🇯🇵Hospitality in Japan: Omotenashi
🇳🇿Hospitality in New Zealand: Manaakitanga
🍴Reflecting on Our Own Kitchen Tables
🙏🏼The Power of a Gratitude Letter
HELPFUL LINKS
✍️ Take the VIA Character Strength Survey
🧳 Download my free Travel Planning Tool
SUBSCRIBE, RATE & REVIEW
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SAY HELLO
In My Kitchen creates connections one dish at a time, by exploring culture through food. I do this through unique culinary workshops, speaking engagements, and of course, this podcast.
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Hi, I'm Paula Mohammed and welcome to In My Kitchen with Paula. This podcast is a gathering place for culinary adventures who love to travel. Every week, we'll come together with chefs, cookbook authors, talented home cooks, and everyone in between to talk about their story and their unique dish using food as the vehicle will take a ride into the ins and outs of their culture and country. Come on, let's get this party started. Welcome back to In My Kitchen with Paula, where we explore Culture three food in our travels and around our table. This episode I'm super excited about this is kicking off a special four-part series that I've called Flavourful Bonds, where we're digging into how the via character strengths can help us build deeper, more meaningful relationships at the kitchen table. In our travels and beyond. So carrying on from the last two episodes where I introduced the Via character strengths, we're going to see them, uh, in action now and, across cultures and right in our own homes. I. Today's theme, episode one of this four part series is Kindness Served Warm. So we're talking about the character strengths this week of love, kindness, and gratitude, and how they flavour our relationships across cultures. And generations. This episode is going to start with a memorable meal that I'll never forget. We are then going to travel to Japan and New Zealand and see hospitality and the character strengths of kindness, love, and gratitude in action. In different cultures. Next, you get to practice some reflection and we are going to end with a really powerful exercise that can have a huge impact on your wellbeing. And of course, sprinkled throughout the episode, I'll share some of my own stories and personal examples. Okay, let's get going to kick this off, I wanna give you an example of kindness around the table. When I was reflecting on this and what to use as an example, uh, what meal I want to share, I realized that I was so lucky to have experienced this numerous times and unexpectedly through the creation of In My Kitchen. So, just to go back to 2018 when we launched In My Kitchen, the original version of In My Kitchen, uh, for those of you who don't know. Is people would sign up online and then you'd be given the address and a recipe packet and information about your host. You would then go to the home of your host on that scheduled date and meet up with five other people, so friends or complete strangers, and you would learn to cook the traditional recipes and dishes. Of your host home country and then you would all sit down and share the meal together. And when I created this, the piece that I was really passionate about was being welcomed into somebody else's home, that hospitality piece. And I felt, I. Having this In My Kitchen style experience was very different from trying the foods and learning about the culture at a restaurant, because something happens. There's a shift in the dynamic when you're invited into somebody's else's home. So fast forward to 2025 and starting sort of beginning of last year where I started exploring the science behind that shift and why it felt so good and why it's so good for us. Um. It's been really rewarding for me and I'm super excited to share it with you now through the podcast. So, the vetting process though, to have, you know, guests arrive at a, a stranger's home and cook with them and eat with'em, there's a lot of trust that has to go in that process. So the vetting process was quite. Intensive, and I won't get it into, into it all. There is a episode about how I started In My Kitchen, it was sort of a a four step process. The fifth step being you basically as a host went through a, an audition and you would do a mini. In My Kitchen experience in your home, and there'd be four to five In My Kitchen committee members that would show up to experience it. And, those members, committee members were family, friends and people who were really emotionally invested in what In My Kitchen was doing. I would curate the menu ahead of time with the potential hosts. So we were also testing out the menu and um, I'd get to know them as well so I could pull out stories and help them to do the best they could in this, what could be an intimidating experience. But each experience, what happened was it wasn't like an audition at all. We felt so privileged to have been the recipients of this kind of. Literally kindness served on a platter. I underestimated how, um, back then, how kindness is so universal and in many cultures expressed through food. So this one particular host who ended up being one of our original In My Kitchen hosts Suha, and if any of my listeners had. Been to her experience. I know you're gonna agree with me on this. It was, it was beautiful. So Suha was born in the Arab United Arab Emirates, and then moved to Jordan and eventually lived in Qatar with her husband before moving to Canada with her family in 2004. When I asked Suha, how would you describe Arabic cuisine, one of the things that stood out to me always is that she said to me. some of the dishes are intended to be cooked for a number of people because they are better served with company. I've always loved that line. She carried on to say, in the Middle East, it is very common to have large groups of friends over to share in a meal. So for me, again, this is just a great example of hospitality, which I consider to be the combo of kindness, love, and gratitude, how it's expressed across cultures. I. But let's get back to this particular menu and dinner. So this was a, uh, So this was a tryout for Suha and we arrived at her home and, Suha was wearing a traditional outfit. It was beautiful, beautiful fabrics. It was just a, immediately, it was a, a very unique experience and we were welcomed into our home and felt so, so much kindness towards us. And we together, we started cooking and the dishes that we made and then sat down and ate together were, a red noodle soup from Suhas mother-in-law, and it's called now. Pardon my pronunciation on these, but it was called Sheiriya and it's a light. It was comforting and delicate noodle soup. Not heavy at all. Made with a, chicken broth. Very, very clear. Chicken broth and Arabic noodles. Now the piece to resistance. The next dish, again, a recipe from her mother-in-law is, Saniyat dajaj a traditional Jordan. Chicken dish. Now, this chicken dish I describe it as, uh, served with potatoes and aromatic spices like cumin and a mix of spices for a curry. But the potatoes almost get cooked like, large french fries, kind of. It was so delicious. And then of course, the Tabouleh. Now this was Suhas mother's recipe, and you could tell Suha was passionate about sharing this recipe with us. Super simple. There's many varieties, but this one is where the parsley was the star of the show. So there was the bulgar, lemon juice, parsley, olive oil, salt. That's it. And I remember Suha telling us not to cut back and forth across the parsley. Her mother always said that, bruised it. You just do one slice across, then move on. Next one. We made Baba Ganoush and for dessert. A recipe that's become a favorite in our household, harissa with rosewater sugar syrup. So again, another recipe of our mother's, it was a recipe with, Semolina and coconut. It's a cake drizzled with rosewater sugar syrup, a traditional Lebanese dessert, and. It's so good, so good. And so that was the menu. And imagine us together, cooking, talking, sharing that. Suha has teenage kids, came in and out and we're so, so interesting and polite and her husband was there. And then we sat down and shared the meal together and her children came and joined us just to say hello and for parts of it. I remember being so shy at that age, but what always struck me is her children were Great conversationalists and were as interested in us as we were in them. It was almost like they knew how to make us feel welcomed. And then after the meal, they got us up and tied these beautiful, scarves with, like shiny beads from them around our waist and had us dancing. So there's my Mum and I dancing with Sue Hu's children, and you know, at the end of the day, the whole experience. Made us feel like, like we mattered, like we were there to get to know Suha and, and have her show us who she is. And what happened was, is Suha and her family really made us feel seen and mattered. I don't know how else to say it. So that meal has always stuck with me and again. All of our, In My Kitchen experiences were like that. And it was something that I always knew innately, that was there that I wanted people to experience. And it's that hospitality, that kindness, uh, when you cross the threshold into somebody else's home for a meal. Okay, so that's setting the scene of an example of, a very memorable meal representing those character strengths. And now I wanna go into the, what I call the soul of hospitality. So love, kindness, and gratitudes. These strengths connect us deeply to others and just to touch on what they are. Love is not just the romantic love, it's about mutual care. It's what I said about you matter to me. Kindness. I. Is acting on that love. So doing something helpful, thoughtful, or generous and gratitude. That's the pause, which I spoke about quite a bit in the last episode. But it's that moment where we pause and we notice the beauty in what's being offered and say thank you in whatever way. Um, it's expressed where we are. What I've found personally through my travels life experience and doing these guest podcast episodes is that these three strengths that embody hospitality are highly valued across most cultures, but they may be expressed differently, and I think it's really helpful when we go traveling to see or to know how they're expressed differently. if you're planning to be visiting Japan or New Zealand, I'm gonna get into now how hospitality is expressed in those two countries. And I think, uh, you know, it's, it's great to know in advance because I think it helps eliminate any misunderstandings and helps you even have a more deeper connection to the country, to the people you meet, to the places that you visit, and more of appreciation for the culture. And if you're going somewhere else or you want to go somewhere else, just do some quick research on where you're going, not just on where to eat and what to see, but the culture of hospitality in that region. Okay, so. First example in Japan. Hospitality or omotenashi. And again, pardon my pronunciation. omotenashi loosely translates to wholehearted selfless hospitality. Uh, it's the idea of anticipating your needs before you even know them yourself. So it's the anticipating your needs is how this is expressed in Japan. offering care with sincerity. Not for a tip, not for recognition, but as a form of respect and harmony. If you've ever been somewhere and felt like the smallest details were taken care of, like, like then this could be at a restaurant, it could be at somebody's home, anywhere, somebody gently opened a door for you without making a big deal, offered a towel without being asked, then you've felt a version of Omo Tanashi. In Japan, it's not just about good service, it's a philosophy. It's in the air, it's in the tea, it's in the way. Your shoes are placed, neatly facing out when you leave someone's home. So let's look at hospitality through food in Japan. I. Because in Japan, hospitality is served in every bowl. in an earlier episode, I talk about a trip my son and I did to Japan, and I highly recommend listening to that to hear more about, this idea of hospitality being served in every bowl. Presentation is respect. So whether you're eating a simple rice ball onigiri from a market, or an elaborate kaiseki me, uh, meal, which is a multi-course, usually seasonal, traditional dinner presentation matters deeply. And I used to think it was because in Japan. You sort of eat with all your senses, but now I have a deeper understanding that it's, it's about respect. So it goes from the color of the dishware, the shape of the chopsticks, the way a pickle is placed. It's all done intentionally, and it shows respect for the ingredients, the season, and for you, the guests. So talk about feeling mattered. A personal example for me, which I realized as I was reflecting and researching for this episode. Is, I love setting the table most nights for dinner. Even during the week, we often will even light candles, even if it's just, uh, my two boys and I, or, well, I don't do it now when it's just me. I should though. but anyway, we'll, light candles. Use place, mats, cloth napkins. If I'm setting the table, uh, I do this for two reasons. One is I want the short period of time with whomever is at my table to matter, to feel a little bit special. I want my boys to feel like they matter, that we don't just set the table nicely for guests. One of my signature character strengths is also an appreciation for beauty and excellence. So this is a little thing that brings me joy. We also, don't get me wrong, we also will order sushi and watch an episode of Modern Family. So I don't wanna paint a picture of a Leave it to Beaver, perfect family here, but having a nicely set table with some candles and flowers and clean place mats makes me happy and as an expression from me of love, kindness, and gratitude to those who are at my table. Okay, so that's presentation is respect. Next, let's look at seasonality is a love language in Japan. So the Japanese have a deep reverence for the seasons, and this is important to know when you go to Japan, uh, especially for what time of year you're going to be going, and it shows up on every plate. A spring dish might include cherry blossoms or fresh bamboo shoots. Autumn may bring chestnut and mushrooms. You're not just eating food. You're eating the moment. Talk about being present and that's a powerful way of saying Welcome. Be here now. Third silence is kindness. You may notice that servers in Japan are often quiet and unobtrusive. This isn't indifference. It's deep attentiveness. In many cultures, chatting might feel like warmth, but in Japan, giving you space to enjoy your meal and your company is the est thing they can do. Now, a side note to that. My experience sitting at a sushi bar, whether it's a Japanese sushi restaurant here in Vancouver, or even when I was in Japan, my dad taught me this. it's often not uncommon to converse with the sushi chef and you buy well back in the day. You'd, you'd buy them. If you're having beer, you buy a beer for the sushi chef as well. And there's this connection happening with the sushi chef while he's making your dishes, um, kanpai, sharing a toast and sharing a connection over, over the food. that was looking at hospitality through food in Japan. Now we're gonna look at hospitality in the home in Japan. If you're lucky enough to be invited into someone's home in Japan, here are a few things to keep in mind. You will want to remove your shoes at the entrance, and you'll often be given indoor slippers. You may be served tea immediately. This is both a refreshment and a ritual. Accept it with two hands and a bow of the head. Meals are likely to be paired with a mindfulness that honors both you and the food. Even a simple miso soup carries the host care now. Another original In My Kitchen host is Naomi. Naomi. And Naomi is from Japan, Kyoto region, and is a phenomenal young, chef Cook, home cook, very inventive and her passion is about finding the, a very nutritional way to cook Japanese food. She's also, um, a very, very high elite, soccer player, and we have episodes, oh, what are they? episodes. 12 and 13, are I talked to Naomi and I highly recommend listening to her there. So Naomi shared with us in our culinary experiences, her mom's miso soup, and now her mom is actually. Canadian married a Japanese man and lived in Japan for many, many years. But Naomi spoke about this very simple ritual that her mom would do every morning, and I started doing it in my home. I haven't done it for ages, it was basically the broth that would be made in the morning that would eventually be miso soup, but that broth would be used throughout the day and evening for different dishes. So the dashi or broth. Um, her mom would wipe kobu, so that's the, the dried, uh, seaweed. Wipe it with a wet paper towel and place it in a large pot of water. Leave it to sit for 30 minutes, so it's starting to bloom. and then you take the kombu out. You put the katsabushi which are the fish flakes in the pot. In the pot, let it sit till the water boils. So you, you have your heat now up to about a medium, medium high, and you let it sit in there until the water boils, then turn the heat off. It's usually just 30 seconds to one minute. Once the katsabushi sinks down to the bottom. Uh, again, that's about. 30 seconds to two minutes, strain the liquid into another pot or large bowl, then pour the liquid back into the original pot, and then you add your miso. So Naomi recommends Shiro miso, which is a lighter and sweeter taste, if you are lucky enough to go to Japan, try and visit a traditional Japanese onsen for a night. Last March, my oldest son and I went and we flew into Tokyo for two nights and then flew south to the Japanese island of Kyushu, and we went to a very serene and beautiful onsen in the little town of Yufi. Uh, spell it, Y-U-F-U-I-N in the prefecture, everything that I mentioned above. That was expressed during our stay right down to the shoes or slippers being turned outward for us. Uh, in episode 11. That's the episode that I recount this trip I did with my son and I go into much more detail about this experience, Learn the phrase itadakimasu Loosely translated, I think it's, I humbly receive. It's an expression of gratitude for the food, showing respect for the people who prepared the meal and the ingredients that went into it. Now, when Naomi taught me this and told me that everybody says it before they eat. Anything and everybody across all generations. She wasn't exaggerating. Uh, IMAS another example of the character strengths of love, kindness, and gratitude in action. or as I refer to for this hos uh, this episode, hospitality is from my beloved New Zealand or Aotearoa in Maori. in episode 24, I do a whole. Episode on my life in New Zealand. And talk a little bit about the Maori Manaakitanga. What is mana, and I hope I'm not butchering how it's pronounced. Mana Tonga is the Maori concept of hospitality, but it's more than just being a good host. It's about uplifting the mana, the dignity and spirit of others. I'm gonna repeat that. Uplifting the mana, the dignity and spirit of others through kindness, generosity, and care. And it's not just a custom, it's a value system that guides everything from well, welcoming a guest into your home to how food is prepared and shared. Wherever you go in New Zealand from a village marae to a local food market, you're going to feel this spirit. It might not always be loud or formal, but it's always there. I never knew this term mana growing up in New Zealand, but you sure felt it. Uh, if you've been to New Zealand, you know what I mean, people. Always refer to New Zealanders as friendly people and extremely welcoming, easy to make new friends. So although Mona Tonga is a Maori philosophy, I would say it is definitely found throughout the people of New Zealand and permeates from one end of New Zealand to the other. So let's take a look at hospitality through food. In the Maori culture, it's not just nourishment, it's sacred connection. It's when food is shared, so is trust. Community and history, the Marae and the Welcome Feast. Okay. If you've ever been lucky enough to be welcomed onto marai, which is a sacred meeting ground, and you can actually experience that if you visit New Zealand, the top part of the North Island. Waitangi It will begin with a formal welcome called a ti. This includes speeches, songs, and symbolic gestures of peace. As a young school girl growing up in New Zealand, we experienced being welcomed onto the maraes quite often, actually. Um, we were fortunate enough to go on field trips to the local marae and even did an overnight stay also. If we had special guests coming to the school for events, our teacher who was Maori, would do the pōwhiri Her husband, uh, this is back in the eighties, he was the minister, and I might have this wrong, but I'm pretty sure his title was Minister of Maori Affairs. And I remember our class got to go to Waitangi for a field trip when Princess Diana and Prince Charles came for a visit. Mr. Pori was part of the Maori Welcoming Committee, and it was a. It was beautiful to watch the ritual of welcoming Princess Diana and Prince Charles onto the Waitangi grounds. Anyway, traditionally, you'll likely be invited to also, uh, share in a meal. And this meal is not just about feeding you, it's about saying you now belong. It is through food that the guest becomes part of the community. Uh, I saw it everywhere growing up again. It wasn't, I didn't label it. I didn't have, I wasn't reflecting on it like this, but when I look back on it, I'm like, oh my gosh. Yeah, like that was the culture of growing up in New Zealand. We would go into town visiting my great aunts and food was always put out. People would come to visit and even. Even to this day when we go back for holidays and, um, friends can't come and visit us where we're staying, somebody's bringing a homemade quiche. Somebody may be bringing a lovely banana loaf just bought at the local bakery. It doesn't have to be, you know, things made from scratch, but people are always bringing food. At my grandparents' house. growing up there was always morning coffee, afternoon tea, served with maybe some pikelets and before bed, a hot milo, which is like hot chocolate and biscuits throughout the day. Everyone would come in from where they were during these times and have, we'd have these small moments of connecting over food. So again, growing up I was not aware of Manga, but I sure experienced it. And that brings me to the hangi food from the Earth, and again, I touch on it in the episode where I talk about New Zealand. but I wanna just share a little bit more, of a deeper meaning. And how it relates to hospitality through food in New Zealand. So one of the most powerful culinary experiences you can have in New Zealand is a hangi, and that is food cooked underground meats and vegetables are wrapped and placed in a pit over hot stones covered and left to steam for hours. Why is this so significant? Because the earth, Papa to Anki is seen as a living ancestor. Cooking food in the land connects you to the past, the present, and to one another. It's a gesture of deep respect for the ingredients, the environment, and the people you share it with. Manga also shows up in how Maori communities gather and share food. You may be offered seafood caught that morning, or berries, forage from the bush. Food is gifted rather than sold, right? It's about relationship, not transaction. If someone gives you food. It's more than just generosity. It's an invitation to be in relationship with them, with their ancestors, with their land. And finally, hospitality in the Maori home. If you get welcomed into a Maori home, you'll likely notice a few beautiful customs. You may be greeted with a hongi, which is a traditional pressing of noses and foreheads. It symbolizes the sharing of breath or life force. You will definitely be offered food often more than you can eat. The abundance is intentional. In Maori culture, a guest should always feel more than taken care of. And then children, elders and guests are often served first. This is part of a deeply respectful and intergenerational view of community. So my tip for you in visiting New Zealand, a Heartfelt ngā mihi nui, which is Thank you or kia ora for your hospitality, is always, always appreciated. Okay, so segment one. In this episode, I shared a memorable meal that encompassed hospitality for me that I'll never forget. Second was taking a look at how hospitality is expressed through cultures, and we looked at Japan and New Zealand for examples in that. And next we are going to take a look at. Our own kitchen table reflections, so let's bring it back home. We're gonna disembark from our planes, leave our visits to Japan and New Zealand and come back to our own kitchen tables. Who in your life makes you feel loved? Not just the big moments, but in the ordinary ones who makes your coffee just the way you like it, remembers your allergies, or saves that last piece of cake for you. Sometimes love doesn't say, I love you, it says I made this for you. And I often say to people that I express my love through food. People will think, no, no, no, no. Don't put yourself out. Don't cook, we'll just get takeout. But for me, it's, it's how I, show my appreciation for you and how I express my love for you, basically. It, it's not like all the time I wanna do that for you, but once, but for sure, uh, more often than not. I want to take you, uh, lead you on a little reflection, visualization exercise here. You might want to close your eyes if you're not driving and only if it's safe to do so. Not if you're chopping something. Okay. Think of a time someone shared food with you in a way that felt deeply loving. Where were you? What was on the table? More importantly, how did you feel Now, think of someone in your life today who could use a little kindness, a small gesture, a warm invitation. What could you offer them through food or presence this week? Remember last week we talked about the most impactful way. To improve wellbeing is to use one of your character strengths in a new and different way. Well, this is my suggestion to you to use the strength of kindness in a new way this week based on the reflection that we just went through. I wanna touch on really quickly a little cultural wisdom around hospitality. So in many cultures there's this unspoken rule feed first, talk later, and I saw this a lot in the way my dad conducted business. most of his business was, uh, with the Japanese and, most of the negotiations. Happened over a meal, usually going out for a steak dinner or a long Japanese dinner in Vancouver or in Japan. But it seemed to always happen over food. And now that I reflect back on all of this, I could see that it was about this feed first. Talk later, uh, in Ethiopian homes, it's common to Gorsha feed someone else with your hands as a gesture of love. In Indian homes, you often hear, have you eaten a question? That means a lot more than it says. These aren't just customs. They're actually, they're relational practices. Now, what if we reclaimed this in our own lives? So the next time you sit down for a family dinner, don't start grilling your kids like I do with, so how was your day at school? What did you do? How was that test before discussing to-do lists or politics or problems? What if we just broke bread together? What if we just nourished our souls first? It's one of the things. I love the most about the kitchen table is its ability if we let it to be a sacred space where love is practical and kindness is plated, right? Before we wrap up, I have a small invitation for you. I want you to think of someone, maybe a parent, a partner, a friend, or a host you met while traveling. Uh, someone whose love, kindness, or hospitality has shaped you. Maybe it is the person who made the meal for you that we reflected on above. I want you to write them a gratitude letter. Now, you don't have to send it, although. I'm gonna explain to you in a little bit why I think you should, but for now, just write it, put their name at the top and tell them what their kindness meant. That letter in itself is a form of nourishment too. And I'm, I'm drawing on an exercise, um, that is, that goes a step further. And this is an exercise that I learned, um, when I was studying all of this, from Dr. Martin Segilman and it's from his book Flourish. So if you really wanna maximize. The evidence-based benefits from a gratitude letter, you can take it a step further and hand deliver the letter to the person or read it out loud to them. Here's how Dr. Seggerman presents this exercise, and, at the very least, try just the reflecting and writing the letter part. Don't feel like you have to share it, but I wanted you to know and be aware of the benefits. From this gratitude letter. Okay, here's the exercise as described by Dr. Seggerman. So one of the most powerful and transformative exercise Dr. Seggerman discusses in Flourish is the gratitude letter. The simple, yet deeply moving practice is one of the most reliable interventions. Uh, I'm gonna speak because I've just taken this and quoted it from him, so I'm gonna speak from. His voice, one of the most reliable interventions we found in positive psychology to significantly increase wellbeing. You repeat that? One of the most reliable interventions we found in positive psychology to significantly increase wellbeing and decrease depressive symptoms. What is the gratitude letter? The gratitude letter is exactly what it sounds like. You think of someone in your life who did something wonderful for you, but that you never properly thanked. Then you write a detailed, heartfelt letter of gratitude to them. This is not a text message or a quick thank you note. This is a deep, thoughtful expression of appreciation. Write a three to 500 word letter and be specific. What did they do? How did it affect your life? Why are you grateful? But here's where the magic happens. You then deliver the letter in person, or at the very, very least, read it out loud to them in a phone or video call. The full emotional impact comes when the other per person hears your words, reflect afterwards. How did it feel for you? How did they respond? And here's the evidence. In one of our earliest studies at the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, we tested a number of exercises to see which could have the most powerful and lasting effects on wellbeing. The gratitude visit, which includes the gratitude letter, had the largest positive impact of any exercise. We tested the immediate effects participants reported. Being significantly happier and less depressed than a control group immediately after completing the gratitude letter and visit longer term effects. The positive effects persisted for up to a month after the visit. Longer than most psychological interventions we tested, many people experienced a helper's high. A boost in mood and connection just from expressing their gratitude. The result was rep replicated in multiple studies including meta-analysis, where gratitude interventions have been shown to enhance positive effect, life satisfaction and psychological wellbeing, and even improve sleep and reduce physical symptoms of illness. And then he goes into why it works. So the gratitude letter works for several psychological reasons. One, savouring and amplification recalling the kindness and writing about it allows you to relive the event strengthening its emotional impact. And I know I keep doing this, but we can link this back to Dr. Fredrickson's, broaden and build theory. Number two, social connection. Human flourishing. Flourishing is relational. Expressing gratitude deepens bonds and fosters mutual appreciation, a core of positive relationships. Number three, shifting attention. Gratitude pulls attention away from what's wrong or lacking and redirects it towards what's good and sustaining in our lives. And number four, moral elevation. Witnessing or engaging in acts of virtue creates a feeling of elevation, a desire to become a better person. Expressing gratitude inspires both giver and receiver to act more pro socially. When I came across this, I thought it was so powerful and impactful and evidence-based, and I wanted to share it with you too. In our next episode of this four part series, we're gonna talk about honesty and how truth can be a relationship spice that either deepens trust or burns the tongue if we're not careful. We'll explore the cultural nuances of integrity and what it means to show up authentically in a relationship. And of course, it'll all be linked to culture, cooking, and travel. Thanks for listening and, allowing me to share this info with you. as always, happy cooking and happy travels.