The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas)
The Bubble Lounge Podcast is the only weekly podcast show for families living in Highland Park and University Park Texas. With over 290 episodes and 160,000+ listeners, we are the go-to source for all things in the neighborhood.
Hosted by Martha Jackson, the Bubble Lounge Podcast is a weekly show that covers a wide range of topics, from philanthropy, lifestyle, and fashion to health and wellness, relationships, and also current events.
The podcast is unique in that it provides a local focus, catering specifically to the women of Highland Park, Texas. The host brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to the show, with Jackson being a marketing and public relations expert who has a deep love of her community.
For more information and sponsorship inquiries for The Bubble Lounge Podcast, visit https://www.bubblelounge.net
The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas)
The Holiday Wake-Up Call: Recognizing When Loved Ones Need Extra Help
The holidays have a way of bringing everything into focus.
We’re home. We’re together. And sometimes, we notice things we didn’t see before — a parent who’s more forgetful, a loved one struggling with daily routines, or a quiet feeling that something has changed.
This is the kind of moment no one prepares you for.
In this episode, I’m joined by Brian Levy, Chief Relationship Officer at Cambridge Caregivers & Manchester Care Homes, to talk about what those “little moments” might actually mean — and how to respond with clarity instead of panic. We cover how to recognize early signs that a loved one may need extra support, how to start the conversation without fear or guilt, and how planning ahead can make an emotional situation feel far more manageable.
This isn’t about rushing into decisions or giving up independence. It’s about being informed, proactive, and prepared — so when the time comes, you’re not navigating it alone.
If you’re spending time with family this holiday season and find yourself paying closer attention than usual, this episode may be one of the most important listens of the year.
To learn more about Brian Levy and Cambrindge Caregivers click here and to learn more about Manchester Care Homes click here
For Brian's list of Frequently Asked Questions click here
This episode is sponsored by:
Cambridge Caregivers Kathy L Wall State Farm Agency | Mother Modern Plumbing | SA Oral Surgeons |
Please show your support for the show by visiting our amazing sponsors.
Hi, welcome to the Bubble Lounge. I'm Martha Jackson, and just this week I was at my annual Tridell Ordnament Exchange Party. The same group of friends I've known since I was literally 18 years old. And it really struck me how much our conversations have changed over the years. We used to talk about jobs, kids, and carpools, but now a lot of the talk centers around our parents. Some of my friends shared stories of noticing changes. Maybe it was a parent who's starting to forget things, having trouble getting around, or just quite not themselves. Others talked about losing a parent and how stressful and emotional it was trying to figure out care when things suddenly changed. It really hit me. This is the kind of help you don't think about until you absolutely have to. And by then it can feel so overwhelming. So let's get the conversation started now. In today's episode, we're going to talk about how to spot the signs that a loved one may need extra help, what your options are, and how to start preparing before you're in crisis mode. My guest today is Brian Levy, Chief Relationship Officer at Cambridge Caregivers, a locally owned family-run in-home care company right here in Dallas. He's here to share what to look for, how to talk to your parents about getting help, and what to do when it's time to take the next steps. Brian, welcome back to the show.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you, Martha. Good to be here.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you and I were talking the other day, and you were saying how the holidays are a prime time when families really start taking note of family members. Maybe they haven't been around each other in a while. They're really starting to see things like maybe it's mobility issues, memory issues, hygiene mood, different things are changing. People are taking note.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. Um, you know, we we talk about the holidays being our busiest time of year at Cambridge Caregivers and Manchester care homes because adult children with aging parents, this is when they come home to visit their loved ones and it's very eye-opening. Uh, Dad, you didn't tell me mom's now using a walker or mom, you didn't tell me dad um, you know, had a fall. The mail is, you know, stacking up, the dishes in the sink are stacking up, and that's when they see the decline.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, there's so many signs that can overlap. What is the what are the signs between normal aging and then, hey, we've got a problem here?
SPEAKER_01:It's a good question. Uh oftentimes it's masked because the spouses kind of protect themselves. And so they don't want to tell their adult children. Hey, you know, mom's slipping a little bit, or dad keeps falling, or mom's not remembering as much. They don't want to tell on each other. Um, so it it really is the responsibility of those trusted advisors who are in the their their loved ones um their lives the most to be able to see signs like that. You know, I always tell people with um with aging parents who who don't live here to um have a third party, whether it's a caregiver or a care manager, somebody involved, to have some more oversight than just a loved one just coming in to visit during the holidays.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right. Well, what are some of the top signs that people need to know? Or like, hey, we need to go ahead and move forward with getting some extra help.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Well, for one, always plan ahead. Yeah. Nobody calls me and says, next week my mom might fall. Or, you know, uh, this summer dad's gonna get diagnosed. Um, it's always crisis mode. So plan ahead, you know, um look for uh look for opportunities to have conversations now rather than when you're in crisis mode. And those conversations could be, you know, things like finances. Hey, if something happened to you guys, where's the key to the safe? Not literally, but you know, um, some literally and figuratively. What are the passwords? What do we need to know in order to take action should you not be able to? Um, it's an uncomfortable conversation. It's also a comfortable, it's a a conversation that our elder community, meaning our grandparents and even our parents, don't have with our generation. We don't talk finances with our elder community, and it um that has not served anybody well.
SPEAKER_00:Well, that's why I thought that doing this episode with you was really important because my mom just turned 84 yesterday, by the way. And I don't want to have the conversations with her, but she actually has been initiating them with me. We have gone to the bank and gone to the safety deposit box and talked about different things. It's extremely uncomfortable. I'm literally squirming in my chair while she's talking, but I also really admire her for thinking ahead. And because I think it's so important because once you get there and you really need it, you're in panic mode. And that's why I really wanted to do this episode, is because I want to educate people so they feel prepared or at least get the conversation started before it's too late.
SPEAKER_01:Good on you. I mean, knowledge is power, and the more communication you can have with your loved ones, there will be no surprises, or at least fewer surprises. Um, it is uh it's a difficult conversation. There's a workbook that um, coincidentally, a friend of mine from grade school who's a gerontologist, she wrote called Grand Plans. And I got it on Amazon. Um, it it is it is from soup to nuts on things that you need to be talking to your loved ones about, starting with something simple like what bank do you use? Who is your medical power of attorney? All the way down to if you're incapacitated, where do you want to die? Yeah. Who do you want to be in the room? Who do you want to know? Who do you not want to know? Do you want the dog in the room? Out of the room, the cat in the room, do you want your glasses on? Do you want your teeth in? They don't sound like they're important now, but in crisis mode, when all the siblings are looking at each other like, oh, what do we do? Well, I think mom would want my kids in there. Do they want, does she want your kids in the room? Does she want to be in the bedroom? Does she want to be in the living room with the window open, the window closed? All of those little tidbits sound real meaningless now during the holidays, but they matter. And they matter most to the person we're talking about.
SPEAKER_00:Right. Yeah. No, you're so true. You're that's so true. And I love the workbook concept because it just leaves, you know, no room for error. You really want to respect their wishes and do everything. And when you're in the moment, you're not going to know that. And so having those conversations and even having this workbook sounds brilliant to me. Yeah. I wanted to give a personal thank you to our good friend and show sponsor, Kathy L. Wall State Farm Agency. We have known Kathy for more than 15 years, and there is no person we trust more when it comes to insurance than Kathy L. Wall. Kathy is always available to help you find the right insurance for your family needs, whether it's covering your home, auto, or providing a life insurance policy tailored to the unique needs of families in Highland Park. My family trusts Kathy with our insurance, and we hope you will too. Please visit Kathy Lwall.com to learn more and let her know that Martha from the Bubble Lounge sent you. Well, let's talk about this. You've decided that there's something going on with your loved one and you want to kind of talk to them about this and just bring it up to them that, hey, I think you could benefit from for some extra care. Hey, I think maybe you shouldn't be driving. That's a pretty sensitive conversation to have. These people have been driving and, you know, taking care of themselves for many, many years. And it's just kind of, you know, threatens their independence. How do you have these conversations?
SPEAKER_01:Great question. Um, my line to every adult child is don't be the bad guy. Learn who your elder respects the most. It could be a lawyer, a wealth advisor, clergy, it could be a specialist, could be their doctor, could be their neighbor, whoever that is, that's the person that needs to be the bad guy when you take car keys away and you explain to your loved one, hey, I don't think it's a really good idea to drive anymore. However, we're not going to ground you and make you stay at home. We have an opportunity to hire someone to keep you independent without putting you or anybody else else at risk. And you put it, put this into perspective. You don't want your loved one's legacy to be the person who killed the little boy crossing the street chasing the ball. In addition to that, the responsibility and the liability is on the powers of attorney as well. So as adult children, we have a lot of responsibility to keep our loved ones healthy and safe, as much as they had the responsibility to keep us healthy and safe as we were kids. You know, I tell adult children, be patient with your parents. They taught you how to use a spoon.
SPEAKER_00:So such a good reminder, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I just think it's so important to talk to them and how get this out there. But I think what you said was so interesting. It kind of reminds me of how you can tell your kids something and they won't listen to you. But then all of a sudden their peer or someone else's parent says the exact same information and all of a sudden it resonates with them. So I think that's really important is who who do they, you know, who do they respect the most?
SPEAKER_01:Respect the most. That is so key. But don't be the bad guy. Yeah, because they'll remember that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. That's really interesting. I mean, it sounds so easy, but yeah, that's a really good reminder. Yeah. So, Brian, before the show started, you and I were having a very interesting conversation, and you had a lot of tips that I had never even thought about. During the holidays when we're entertaining, we've got a lot of chaos going on in our house. We have our loud music, we have decorations, we've got a lot of extra people in the house. There's just a lot going on. And I love the tips that we talked about because it's so many things that most of us wouldn't have taught, wouldn't have thought about.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Um, traditions, as we talked about, traditions are going to have to evolve.
SPEAKER_00:Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_01:They evolved from our childhood when, you know, we would play with the dreidel and the menorah as a child, and then we're older adult. It's the same with Christmas. You play, you know, with the Christmas tree and all the decorations and all the music, but as you get older, it evolves. Well, that also evolves when you have elders with brain change in your home. Um, you know, um, it's yes, the holidays are a very magical time and they're exciting and it's always fun to have the kids and grandkids present. But we need to recognize when an elder with brain change, and I say brain change, that's when somebody is cognitively declining, whether they've been diagnosed or not, that's a lot of commotion. Sure. Um, you know, we need to remember to turn the volume down, especially with our elders that have um hearing aids. Hearing aids pick up everything. So if you think jingle bell rock is fun to listen to, imagine having an echo in your ear. Um, smaller groups, soft music, maybe a quiet room where our elders can retreat to just regather their thoughts. Um stress hits faster, especially during the holidays. So um, 'tis the season to be overwhelmed. You know, maybe a tee, a blanket, and some hydration is is in order. And recognize that even though grandma might be sitting in in her rocking chair smiling and enjoying the kids, she's exhausted and it's overwhelming. Um the soft music, as I mentioned, it's it is it is sensory overload. The other is friendly moments, you know, simple decor, you know, familiar routines, nostalgic music on low. Um, not the uh jingle bell rock that we were talking about, you know, it's it's you want to create a very calm atmosphere in a festive time. It's difficult, right? Right, right. Those traditions need to evolve. Quite frankly, the best gift is emotional safety. Slow down, listen, and validate. Recognize that when you your your elders saw, you know, the grandkids have seen their grandparents all summer long. And then they go off to college and they come back in December to, you know, for holiday. A lot's changed. A lot's changed with elders, and a lot's changed with the college kids. And they're coming in and they're excited and they want to see grandma and you want to tell them about their first semester. And I have a girlfriend, and we went to the football game, and all that. Grandma might not even remember you.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01:So it really is a time to meet them where they are. And in doing so, you have to learn where they are. Learning where they are is, you know, commu is like communicating with somebody with brain change. It's a new language. It's like algebra or Spanish. It is a language. And communicating with grandma all summer may be different. Now it's the holidays and moving forward. So it's our responsibility to evolve with our elders as they evolved with us when we were younger.
SPEAKER_00:I think that that is a really interesting point and definitely something I wouldn't have thought about was um you mentioned that it's like learning a new language, like Spanish, Italian, Latin, whatever it might be, and just really educating yourself on learning how to speak to somebody with those types of changes, right?
SPEAKER_01:Sure.
SPEAKER_00:And you even uh had mentioned an interesting story of someone you saw in public that was not being very nice to their aged.
SPEAKER_01:It's so hard for me, as you can only imagine. I'm like, do I give her a business card? Do I help her? You know, I of course I keep my mouth shut, but it is hard. Um, some tools and tactics to use when you have mom, um, you know, maybe you pick mom up at the uh assisted living and you bring her home, is familiarize herself with like bring an old photo album and say, hey, um, you know, remember Johnny is at school and he's coming home for the holidays. And show him, show your elders a photo album to be familiar with uh with who's coming. And then just talk gently about the upcoming plans. Don't overwhelm them with the entire week's agenda. It's what's happening today and then maybe what's just happening this morning and then after the morning, then get into the plans for the evening. And give them choices, you know. Um, don't just say we're doing this. Say, um, you know, we're we're gonna we're all gonna go to dinner. Um, we'd love for you to join us, but there are other options. Because you want your loved ones at that dinner doesn't necessarily mean they want to, or that's what's best for them. Right. So consider that.
SPEAKER_00:Remember when the big freeze happened, and it seemed like every house in the neighborhood had pipes bursting, floors ruined, and drywall falling throughout the house. Well, if this ever happens to you, don't stress. When emergencies strike, just call mother. Mother modern plumbing's master technicians are always ready to swoop in, tackle the crisis with precision, and leave your home looking cleaner than they found it. And with their high-end tools, rapid response, attention to detail and professionalism, you're never left high and dry. So next time your plumbing throws a tantrum, take a deep breath and remember, call mother at callmother.com. I highly recommend them. Well, let's talk about screening. It's now time for us to get some extra help with a parent or loved one. This is where it seems to get extremely overwhelming. I'm seeing a lot of posts on our neighborhood Facebook page just saying, you know, in home care or we're looking for senior living facility. I'm seeing a lot of that right now. And people are panicked. They're trying to get educated on the screening process and what the right fit is for their loved one.
SPEAKER_01:Sure. Um, look for a trusted advisor. You know, there are plenty of senior advisors who actually do that for a living. Um, ask a lot of questions. Um, I know we have a very robust, frequently asked questions section on ManchesterCarehomes.com and Cambridge Caregivers.com. And I encourage people to use those lists when they are considering their options, not just with our companies, but just in general. Those are the questions that people have asked me for my 10 years in this business. And I just continue to compile lists of questions that I think are important answers to know before you make a decision. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I was just at lunch with a friend and she was asking about her parents and and she said, where do I begin? And that's an easy question because it all starts with budget. We can talk all day long about your options, but until you know someone's budget, it's pointless because I may have some great ideas, but if that's not in your budget, you don't want to hear about it.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right. So just uh kind of connecting with an advisor and being upfront about your budget and things like that, that can probably help you weed out a whole lot of options. Absolutely. Kind of get straight to the point of who can help you.
SPEAKER_01:That's right. And determining, well, just for one, what are your what do you consider, what are your care needs for one? And then consider um, as you get further down the road, do you want your loved one to age in place or do they want to age in place, or do they want to go somewhere? And then what's the purpose for both? Um, there's no right or wrong. Um, but I would take guilt out of the conversation. We always talk about, well, I promised my mom I'd never put her in a in a home and you know, get rid of her. It's not like that anymore. And there are wonderful options for everyone, no matter what the budget is.
SPEAKER_00:Well, is there anything in particular that we need to know just as far as credentials of caretakers and things like that that you can share with us?
SPEAKER_01:Great question. But I often hear people say, Oh, my housekeeper's daughter is just lovely. She she's just out of high school and she's looking for a job. She's gonna take care of my mom. And of course, I'm in the position to be like, that's not such a great idea. Let me just tell you why that's not a great idea. For one, she must be background checked. So put that aside. Is she trained? Does she have the knowledge to talk to someone and to care for someone experiencing brain change? And two, is there redundancy? What if she gets hit by a bus or a flat tire? Who's coming to take care of mom? So I always lean towards the professionals. Cheaper isn't always better. The professionals are the professionals for a reason.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, just like an MD.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:They went to school for a reason. Right.
SPEAKER_01:And it's sometimes it's really nice to see their nurse practitioner, but it's always nice to see the doctor.
SPEAKER_00:Well, let's talk about just planning ahead. Because again, like we keep saying, you don't need this help till you need this help. And by then you're just kind of an emotional stress wreck, and it's really hard to gather the information that you need. How can people start building up their knowledge?
SPEAKER_01:Start the conversation. Yeah. Um, building your knowledge oftentimes with just starting the conversation with your loved ones, that includes your siblings. That includes the power of attorney, the wealth advisor. Um, I work with a lot of wealth advisors who have these meetings and these conversations just with they have these conversations just with the adult children, without the elders. And it's not that you're talking about them behind their back. It's kind of like parents meeting with your counselor and your principal to do what's best for you as a child. You're doing the same with your parents and charting their path because they can't or they're not ready to have that conversation. Plan ahead, plan ahead, plan ahead. Ask a lot of questions. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. That sounds like you're you're very well equipped on your website. I will definitely share that link so people can go straight to it. They don't have to remember anything. I would imagine that when people have been taking care of their aging parents and then they finally do get some help, I would imagine that's just life-changing. And they probably just feel such a sense of relief knowing that they're in professional hands.
SPEAKER_01:It it is, and it's very gratifying to me. I was I was at one of our care homes last week, and um, one of our residents' son came out to talk to me. And I thought, oh my goodness, where are we going? And he was in tears. And I'm like, what's going on? And he said, Do you remember when you gave a tour to me and my dad before we told my mom that we were moving here and you were most excited to take all the anxiety away from us? And I said, I remember it vividly. And he said, We're there. Oh my gosh. He said, We have no anxiety. We're just enjoying my mom. Um, it's very gratifying.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. I would imagine that's the best part of your job.
SPEAKER_01:Makes me sleep well at night for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Well, you guys do an amazing job. I just uh from the moment I met you and um Adam Lampert is um I just everything just really came across that you are so passionate about truly helping people and finding the best caregivers and the best staff. And it just really shows. And it's it's been really nice to see that.
SPEAKER_01:I appreciate that. Adam is our fearless leader. He's an incredible CEO and and and he truly is, we are in the business to create jobs and serve communities. And that's our focus. That's what we do.
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SPEAKER_01:Ask a lot of questions. Ask a lot of questions. You are in education mode, so learn what what what what are elder care terms? There's a lexicon of elder care terms on our websites. You need to learn and not just take the advice of a friend, a family member, or someone in the business, but learn yourself and ask ask questions, do the research and be ready. Plan ahead.
SPEAKER_00:Right. Yes. You you've said that many times, and I hear you loud and clear. Well, I just want to encourage everyone to call Cambridge Caregivers if they should have any questions. You may be the right fit for them, you may not, but you guys know so much and you're just a wealth of knowledge.
SPEAKER_01:No doubt. I I feel like I'm just a resource. I tell people don't go back to Google, call me, and I will tell you if you need DME, if you need home health, you need hospice, whatever it is, let me help guide you. Don't go at it alone.
SPEAKER_00:Right, right. Well, getting help in general, you are not giving up independence. You're just getting that assurance, like we talked about with your client that was in tears because he was so happy that the anxiety had been relieved from his life. Sure. That's that's wonderful. I just love that. Well, so how pe can people get in touch with you?
SPEAKER_01:My phone number is 214-649-9922. I am 247-365. So if it's Sunday afternoon, don't hesitate to call. If it's two o'clock in the morning, it might be able to wait. Um, you can also look at us at Cambridge Caregivers.com and ManchesterCarehomes.com.
SPEAKER_00:Perfect. Well, as always, I will include those so you don't have to remember anything. Great. Thank you. Well, Brian, thank you so much for sharing all of your wealth of knowledge. I feel like this has been so helpful and just perfect timing, you know, with the holidays coming up and having extra family in your house, and people are going to be noticing, and hopefully this is going to help a lot of people out.
SPEAKER_01:I appreciate you having me on today.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. Well, that's been another episode of the Bubble Lounge. I'm Martha Jackson, and I will see you next time.
