Enlighten & Elevate with Kelly
Thank you for being here dear soul! My name is Kelly and I am a Reiki Master, mother, wife, and lover of all things spiritual. Come with me on my quest to find tools and knowledge for continued spiritual growth. It can be tough to navigate the world as a human and parent. Dive in with me for enlightenment and ways to empower your life! We will explore many topics such as spirituality, holistic healing modalities, and metaphysics.
Enlighten & Elevate with Kelly
The Power of Perspective: Kris Ashley’s Path to Self-Healing
Hello beautiful souls! Thank you so much for being here on this journey with me. Ever wondered how life's toughest challenges can be the catalyst for profound transformation? Join us as we sit down with Kris Ashley, a life coach, motivational speaker, and the author of "Change Your Mind to Change Your Reality." Kris shares her riveting journey from trauma to triumph, revealing how spiritual and metaphysical teachings sparked her awakening and led her to embrace healing modalities that altered the course of her life. She opens up about the invaluable lessons learned from her mother's illness and how adopting the mindset that life happens for us, not to us, can pave the way for extraordinary growth.
Intrigued by the multiverse or the soul's journey? We’re stepping into a fascinating discussion with Kris about souls choosing their life circumstances to learn specific lessons, supported by the many-worlds theory of quantum physics. Imagine multiple versions of yourself living out different timelines, each contributing to a greater collective knowledge. This conversation challenges the limitations of human perception and offers a refreshing perspective on how understanding these concepts can guide us toward our goals with intention and clarity.
Shifting focus to the law of attraction, Kris underscores the transformative power of a positive mindset. Through her own experiences, she illustrates how gratitude and positive thinking can bring about significant changes. We also explore the power of belief in self-healing, the importance of forgiveness, and the role of challenging individuals in our lives as catalysts for growth. Finally, we discuss resilience and adaptability, emphasizing how embracing discomfort can lead to remarkable personal development. Prepare to be inspired and empowered to make 2024 a year of embracing the uncomfortable and transforming your life.
0:00 Transformative Journey to Self-Healing
11:03 Multiverse and Soul's Journey
15:34 Miraculous Living Through Law of Attraction
21:49 Power of Belief in Self-Healing
33:46 The Power of Forgiveness and Perspective
40:11 Healing Through Forgiveness and Understanding
43:49 Embracing Growth Through Adaptation and Resilience
To purchase Kris’s book, register for a free live workshop, find events, sign up for a course, and more visit:
https://linktr.ee/changeyourmindwithkris
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https://www.facebook.com/changeyourmindwithkrisashley
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Website:
https://www.krisashley.net/
Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/za/podcast/change-your-mind-with-kris-ashley/id1611437310
To get in touch with me:
enlightenandelevatewithkelly@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100067889031070&mibextid=LQQJ4d
@kellymatthews840 on Instagram
Hello, beautiful souls, welcome back to Enlighten and Elevate. Thank you so much for being here. This podcast is a place where we love to dive into spiritual, metaphysical and uplifting topics. My guest today draws on the law of attraction, experiments in quantum physics, manifestation practices and various healing modalities. She guides the listener toward inner courage and compassion by questioning long-held truths and accepted beliefs about the world. She encourages us to work toward building more authentic relationships, taking charge of our physical and mental health, letting go of fear and finding our purpose and passion in life. Please check out her podcast and book. I will have all her social media handles and links in the podcast notes. Thank you so much for being here and enjoy this episode. Hello everybody, welcome back to the Light and Elevate. I am so excited today I have Kris Ashley with me. She's a life coach, motivational speaker, and she also is the author of Change your Mind to Change your Reality, which is what the topic of our conversation is going to be today. Welcome, Kris.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me, Kelly. I'm really excited to be here with you.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited to have you, Kris. For those listening that aren't really familiar with who you are and what your story is, let's tell them your background and how you came to be where you are today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to so. Like a lot of people who have become coaches or healers of some sort, my story starts with my own trauma. So when I was 12 years old, I was sexually abused by a family member and that happened for four years and I had this really big, tight-knit extended Italian family and when that family found out what happened, a lot of them disowned me and I was getting letters and calls from people telling me they didn't love me anymore and I wasn't their family anymore. And, as you can imagine, that left me with a lot of low vibration emotions like guilt and anger and shame that as a young adolescent I didn't know how to cope with. Right, most adults don't know how to cope with those types of emotions and I started going down this downward spiral. I was getting in trouble at school, I was lashing out, I was self-harming, all of these things. And then my world completely changed when someone handed me a book and what this book did was show me that there were other ways of thinking and being and moving through life, of understanding there was more to the universe and life than really meets the eye, and I remember just feeling like a sleeper agent. As I was turning those pages right, something inside of me just woke up and I said that was the start of my spiritual awakening. And then, as I finished that book, I started reaching for more and I just became insatiable. I was devouring every metaphysical, spiritual, new age personal development book I could get my hands on and I started going to workshops and seminars. I started finding teachers to study under and my life completely changed right Complete 180. I was manifesting things. I was creating this life of my dreams.
Speaker 2:And then the other part of my story is that, as I was changing my mind and starting to get better, my mother started to get worse because her family had been ripped down to seams and she didn't have all these healing modalities that I was trying. That was the other thing I forgot to mention. She didn't have these books, she didn't have these teachers and it started to manifest as physical illness and she was getting pretty severe illnesses like cancer and then also just these really bizarre afflictions that her doctors at Northwestern were like yeah, we've never seen that before, we have no idea. And so they did what they do they gave her pills, and they gave her pills for the side effects of those pills. They give her a fentanyl patch and pretty soon she was forgetting conversations we had just the day prior. She was nodding off at the dinner table, she was falling down all the time, she's always covered in bruises and she spent most of the day asleep in bed. And that lasted almost 15 years.
Speaker 2:And I just had this compounded guilt right that I had not only destroyed my family but I'd broken my mother.
Speaker 2:But, as you're probably going to understand what's happening to me, I believe everything happens for a reason, and I realized that my mother was my biggest teacher, because for every step that she took down this path of illness and depression and victimization, I climbed in the other direction, out of that tunnel, because I was seeing firsthand, right in front of me, what happens to a human body and spirit when they make that choice right, because we always have a choice.
Speaker 2:And then I was seeing what was happening to my own body and spirit as I was changing my mind, as I was making a different choice, and so I made a promise to myself that I would always do everything I could to heal spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically and it's a promise I've kept to this day and after more than two decades immersed in this research and spiritual teachings, I decided to start to help other people, so I took a life coach training with the amazing Mary Morrissey For those of you who don't know her, she's one of only three people who were mentored directly by Bob Proctor. She's phenomenal. And I've started to give back, and now I'm speaking. I've got a podcast. I just shared the stage with Dr Joe Vitale and Sharon Lecter and Les Brown this past week and I'm able to reach so many people, so thanks for giving me the opportunity to share that.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, thanks for sharing it. That's a pretty amazing story and I love all the things you talk about, but I know you mentioned this in your book that life happens for you and not to you, and I definitely that resonates with things that I've gone through in my life and that there is everything is a teacher in our life, right, all the good and the bad, and I think it's important for people listening to understand. I think it's all about perception, right, certain way, with your mother descending in a certain way and judge it however they see it. But again, it's all about perception. But your mother and you could have entered this life with an agreement that she was going to play that role so that you could evolve and grow in the way that you are and so that you can fulfill your life mission to help others, to help people who have also been through some similar type traumas that you have and know that they can come back from there, that they can overcome and have a great life. They can still move forward, have a magical existence, meet their goals or maybe even have a life that they aren't even thinking of, right, some of us can't even conceive of some of our. We have our wildest dreams of what we would love to do, and then there, but there could be some so many things out there that we just can't even conceive of, and you're definitely talking about all those things. Sharing the stage with all of those people. That's fantastic. It's one accomplishment and it speaks to how your work is now touching others.
Speaker 1:I know, before we jumped on, I was saying when I was reading through the material in your book, like how impactful it was for me. But I know that all of this is such important information for people to read and understand. So your book is really transformative. So it's called Change your Mind, change your Reality. So let's dive into your book, let's talk about it. I know you start with why change your mind? So, for people listening, why do they want to change their mind?
Speaker 2:Yeah, first, I just want to acknowledge everything that you just said. Absolutely, I totally agree with everything you just said. We all have soul contracts and oftentimes it's the people who cause a little bit of friction, right, rub us the wrong way, maybe our quote, unquote villains in this lifetime who are really here to be our teachers, right? Because every, every thing that happens to you, everything people say to you, every circumstance you find yourself in, you always have a choice and you can either become fall deeper into illusion, right, become resentful, become angry, just let these emotions take you over or you can heal and you can forgive, and you can level up and you can grow. And you, that's why we're here, right, we're here to learn specific lessons. We're here to, like, level up in our consciousness and grow. So, yeah, I just wanted to validate everything you just said.
Speaker 2:And absolutely, we all have a lens through which we view the world and and this is also just answering your question too we all have our own belief system, and I say this in the book. It blew my mind, but if you look up the word belief in the thesaurus, one of the antonyms for it is truth. So that means the opposite of belief is truth and people say how can that be? But if you think about it, your beliefs were formed by the adult, the opinions of the adults. You grew up around cultural conditioning that teacher who said you're good at math, the other one that says you're a terrible singer. Right, kids who made fun of you. All the good, all the bad in air quotes.
Speaker 2:Right, because nothing's good or bad and it all formed your lens through which you view the world. Every time you're interacting with another person or an event, you're not really looking at that from an objective point of view. You're seeing it through the lens of your past experiences, and so your lens creates your reality. Why change your mind? Because when you look at things from another perspective, a full new world is going to open up for you. Right, because if you go through the world from a place of pain or fear or judgment or doubt or worry, you're going to have a very different life than if you have a lens of ease and comfort and safety and you're positive and you're always looking for the opportunities and everything. So it's a way to completely change the life that you're living.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Now. I loved your chapter on understanding your divine nature because I think that's something for people listening or maybe newly awakening that's really powerful. I don't know, if you want to touch on certain aspects of what our essence is as a divine person from the source creator, how you would want to maybe touch on that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, that's one of the fun chapters to write. On that a little bit. Yeah, totally, that's one of the fun chapters to write, and I was like I'm putting this in the beginning because people are either with me on this ride or, if the message isn't for them right now, they're falling off. Yeah, a lot of my information comes from all different sources, right? The cool thing is we are living in a time, right now, when science backs up what mystics and spirituality has been saying for eons right With quantum physics, backs up what mystics and spirituality has been saying for eons right With quantum physics, with epigenetics, with neuroscience. Even so, I really like to blend science and spirituality, and one of the big influences on the spiritual side of you and I were just talking about was Dolores Cannon, and it's really cool because what a lot of her hypnosis subjects say is backed up by quantum physics. So the idea is that we all come from source, right, and source wanted to experience life. So it broke off into trillions of souls and us as those souls are going through these different schools, if you will like. Earth is a school. Yeah, you can look at it as a game or play, but it's really a school and before we incarnate, we choose our parents. We choose what we're going to look like, where we're going to live and some big life circumstances that are going to happen to us, because those set the soil for us to learn the lessons that we've agreed to try to learn in this lifetime. Right, they plant the soil ready to seed and then it's up to us if we actually learn those lessons and grow, like we were just talking about, right, you? You always have a choice and we're continually climbing this ladder back to source. Now, that doesn't mean like you fail the school and you're a bad person, or you're like something bad happens to you. No, you just do that lesson again, right, and you're going to keep meeting that same lesson through similar people, similar circumstances, until you get it. Lesson through similar people, similar circumstances, until you get it.
Speaker 2:And what I love that Dolores talks about is you know, we're not a whole, complete soul. We're a fraction of a soul, because our higher self and it's not just Dolores that talks about this, so many people talk about it, but our higher self sits on the other side of the veil, right, because it couldn't possibly incarnate into a human body Like we. This thing can't hold all that energy that we are, and, and so one of the best ways to have these experiences is to actually have many of you, many fractions of your higher self, be living out various timelines. Think about it this way Like every time you have a choice to make, the version of you that's living consciously right now, that you can imagine it, goes on to make the choice that you made. But then there's another part of you, your timeline branches off and that other part of you, that other version of you, lives out that other choice. And then, each time those choices have a choice to make, the timelines branch out again, so you can see how this can just go off in like amazing directions, right? So there's other timelines that are living very similar lives to you, and then there's also other timelines that are living vastly different lives. So it's everything right. You're gonna die at every age. You're gonna live to every age. Some versions of you have children, some don't. Some versions of you have exactly what some don't. Some versions of you have exactly what you want, what you're afraid to go for, and the purpose is so that, when each of those versions dies and crosses back over, you have all that knowledge to bring back to source.
Speaker 2:Now the cool thing is, quantum physics really backs this up. So there's the many worlds theory of quantum physics that says that every possible reality exists, like everything you can imagine and everything you can't. And it exists in this realm, this cloud of possibilities, and all you have to do is choose the possibilities, which ties back to the law of attraction, too. Right, like we choose, we create our reality. Every possible version exists and it's laid over each other like a transparency is how I like to think about it. And every timeline exists, ever. And there's experiments in quantum physics that actually prove this theory. So it's just mind blowing and so fun to think about.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Oh my gosh, you really beautifully put that. For anybody listening, I love it. But you also talk about what we can see with our eye and that we can only see, like with I'm sorry, what we can only see of light. It's 0.0035% of light, so the other 99.99% is invisible. Isn't that amazing, when you think about it, what you can actually see with your eye and not see? So what are we not seeing? That is out there, that is around. It's so interesting and actually really mind-blowing when you think about that.
Speaker 1:And then the timelines all things happening simultaneously. I know in your book you wrote that it was comforting for you to know and understand these things because it let you know that somewhere. What comforting for you to know and understand these things? Because it let you know that somewhere, what your dreams were was happening, that it is possible and that you just have to take. I know sometimes things seem like so far away or we can't like we have an idea of what we want but we don't know how to get there, we don't see how it's going to lead that direction. But I think, for those listening or watching, I think taking aligned, purposeful action and you just have to take it step by step. I don't know if you would agree or not agree, but if you just start to do like you said, start to change how you think about things, what you focus on, because where our focus goes, energy flows. So if you're going, a negative mind is never going to change your world. A negative you know outlook it's just not going to do that for you. Finding positive things and making choices really does.
Speaker 1:And, like you said, I love also that you highlight that we do have a choice, even when things are difficult, even when because I've been through some pretty difficult things in my life and I chose to find ways to heal because I knew I did not want to stay in anger, resentment, bitterness or whatever I was feeling at the time I didn't want to stay there because I knew that was never going to help me. And I also I'm a mother. I have three kids. I knew that I had to get through it because I didn't want to model that type of behavior to my kids. Not that they knew at the time what I was going through, because they didn't, and they still don't. But it doesn't matter. It's neither here nor there, but it is possible to in those times when we're low to say okay and nothing. I'll say nothing is fixed overnight, but you can have things and I'll tell you that in your book you also talk about how things happen for you, not to you.
Speaker 1:That was a catalyst of change for me.
Speaker 1:I read that as a channeled message in an angel book and when I read that helped me to totally look at the situation I was experiencing completely differently and that sent me on my spiritual awakening and led me to people like you, people who, very you know, talk about those things and explain to people that things are possible and that things can change.
Speaker 1:And instead of saying like a negative comment, we should say how good can it get? Or because if you focus on those things and that's where your energy is and you're grateful, I think gratitude is huge because we have to be grateful and in order to open up the door for more good things to come into our life, we have to be grateful for what we have before more can come in, because if you can't be grateful for what you have, why would the universe bring you more? I know you mentioned the law of attraction For people listening who maybe are only somewhat familiar with it. Do you want to do a little bit of a brief overview of like your understanding of it and how we can use it in our life?
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, I want to speak to what you said. I keep doing this because you keep saying really brilliant things and I want to just highlight them the way to and it actually ties in really well the way to use the law of attraction, the way to live. Albert Einstein said there's two ways to live the real life. One is as if, though, everything is a miracle, and the other is as if nothing is a miracle. I don't know why that was so hard for me to say just now, but it's all about your mindset, right? And the way to really live that miraculous life is it's get really clear on your vision, know exactly what you want, have that North Star, like you said, take action towards it. But then the other piece is to just trust and not worry about the how.
Speaker 2:And this formula has worked time and time again in my life, and miracles have happened. And, honestly, just this past week, another one happened where I was envisioning where I want to go next in my career, in my life, and I had this really clear vision, had no freaking idea how it was going to happen. Like this is like a huge vision, had no idea. And then I met a person who made me an offer and it just fell into my lap. And that's the thing. You have to not worry about the how, because the universe knows how to do things that you don't, right, it knows how to. We think as humans we have to go from A to B to C to D, right, okay, we have to make $100,000 before we can make $200,000, or we have to do things in this really linear ways. But the universe knows how to take you from A to Z really quickly. And that last piece of trusting it's so fun, right, you get to just see how these miracles come into your life and life can really be a game and you can really have fun with it.
Speaker 2:But if we're so, like, hyper-focused on the how, we end up sabotaging ourselves. Right, because oftentimes it's not going to happen the way you think it will. Oftentimes it's going to completely surprise you how it happens. Like the universe can move mountains, right, it can open doors that didn't even exist. It could put them there and then open them.
Speaker 2:And I know I'm digressing, but this really ties back to the law of attraction, because that really is what the law of attraction is, right, it's a universal law that says what you focus on will become your reality, and so many of these quote unquote gurus out there teach it. Oh, the universe is just like this genie in a bottle and you can just kick back, put your seat up and it'll just fall into your lap and you have to take that action right, like you were saying. So it's getting clear on your vision, taking action and then just letting go and trusting that it's going to come to you, and being open to more. Okay, like, maybe even more is going to fall into your lap, and that's what just happened to me this past week. So life can be a really fun game.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And I know for people, when you're getting clear on your intentions, you can say very clearly to the universe what you want and then at the end say or something better, so that you're leaving that openness to the possibility of something that maybe, like I was saying earlier, sometimes we can't, our brain can't even conceive of some of the things that might be coming our way because we just can't see it. But when you leave that yourself, open to that, I do believe magic can happen. And I know that when you start to change your mind, when you start to do these things that you talk about in your book, you see the changes around you in so many ways, so many ways in the people. And I think too, when you start to manifest and have all these positive things happen and you're just in joy and you're in your exactly what you want to do, you're super passionate about, people can feel that energy is magnetic, they want some of that. They're like OK, I see Chris Ashley and she is, I want to be like that, I need some of it, and that's what people, I think people want and they need, and you know what it is.
Speaker 1:I know when I was on my spiritual awakening and people would say go within. All the answers are within. I'd be taking actionable steps but then not worrying about the how it's, that surrender piece. That can be hard. I know it's been hard for me to like surrender in that way, but I really like that you talk about it that way.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we just have to have the belief that it's possible. And because you have to have these beliefs, because if you and this is Dolores Cannon talks about this, Greg Bray, many people talk about it if you don't believe something can change, then it won't because you don't believe it. And this is even in terms of self-healing. This has been this just, and I'm just going to briefly touch on like the placebo effect. Why does the placebo effect ever even occur? That's because people believed that they were getting better by whatever they were being given. They thought that the pill was the actual medication or whatever that they were trialing. They believed it. So what does that tell us? As humans? That is a very powerful thing, right. Like we have the power to change things. We have the power to heal ourselves. It's just learning how to harness that and where to focus and how to use that. But you experienced different kinds of illnesses yourself, so you overcame some of that too. Do you want to speak a little bit to self-healing?
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, and you absolutely nailed it. We have the power to heal ourselves, but the moment that doubt creeps in, we start to sabotage ourselves again. Right, because it's all about? I was actually on this in this group, this community that I'm a part of, yesterday, and someone said something really great on there. They said if you're not 100% committed, you're not committed at all, but you're always committed to something, and I love that. So you might be committed to staying sick, you might be committed to not being committed, you might be committed to not being committed, you might be committed to not trusting people, or committed to not healing, or committed to only Western medicine. You're always committed to something because you always have a steadfast belief that something is how it is right.
Speaker 2:So, in terms of healing, one of the biggest things that you need to do to heal is to feel and then release your repressed emotions. We all have emotions that we've repressed over time, a lot of times from childhood. Sometimes we hold on to things for decades without realizing it, and these are like poison inside of you. Right, they can, they can eat away at you, they can cause harm, they can cause disease, which is dis-ease. They're energy and emotion. Right, that's what emotions are. We all know that, and when you push them down and don't allow yourselves to feel them, they become stuck and it blocks the flow of energy. It can do a lot of damage to you. One of the very, very most important things is to release your repressed emotions and then also to know that every symptom that you're feeling is your body sending you a message. And I've experienced this personally where and I'm sure you have too where we get like a tiny bit of a message and maybe we ignore it, right, and then maybe something else happens and then pretty soon, like, if you're not listening, the universe is going to take you by the shoulders and shake you and say, hey, pay attention, right, either you're not on the path you're meant to go on, or there's some belief, or there's something that's going on here that's getting stuck inside of your body or that's putting you in a place we don't want you to go. So the best thing to do is to be able to make those kind of changes before they get to that point right, before they get to the point where you're in a lot of pain or where you are really sick.
Speaker 2:I always say, like prescription drugs are like the smoke detector in your house. Right? If your house is on fire and the smoke detector is making that really obnoxious beeping noise, you can take the batteries out and it's going to stop beeping, but your house is still going to be on fire, and that's the way, like prescription medication is right, like it's just covering up these symptoms, which are really messages from your body. So whatever you believe will cure you. And I think, like you pointed out, the placebo. And then it's opposite, the nocebo effect, which says if you have the belief that you're going to get that cold that's going around, or that you have a tumor or whatever it is like you can actually make yourself really sick simply on your beliefs. And I give a lot of examples in the book about specific experiments that were done that are really fascinating. I'm happy to go into those if you want, or I don't know if I answered your questions yeah, no, I.
Speaker 1:but you know what. I think it's really powerful for people to understand that all these things that we maybe aren't letting ourselves feel, we're not processing, we're not dealing with, we're holding that in our body and until you find a way to release that, then that's just, it's just staying there and that's exactly what causes disease in people's bodies is all of that process, I'm sorry, trauma, emotion, all of those things. So I really like that you talked about that and how important it is to find ways to heal and work through that. But yeah, if you want to touch on those experiments that you in the book, that'd be great.
Speaker 2:Totally. And I also want to say sometimes this is also not to be like shaming someone who's going through something, right, like sometimes it's in our soul contract that we need to go through something and sometimes it's in the soul contract of our caregivers or our close family members that they need to experience this too. It's not always like the fault. It's never the fault, right, there are no mistakes. We're all here learning in school. Like you wouldn't punish a child for making a mistake, right, we don't punish ourselves for making a mistake in school, like you wouldn't punish a child for making a mistake, right, we don't punish ourselves for making a mistake. But it's also that we can keep learning, right, like you said, and keep growing. And I totally forgot your question now because I just wanted to make that point, so I apologize.
Speaker 1:It's a great point because there is no shame or judgment. We all are in this together in life and at different points in our lives, I feel like we're doing the best we can with what we know, even if now in my life I say, oh, I wouldn't have done this five years ago, I wouldn't have done this 10 years ago. But I wouldn't be the person I am today had I not made those choices, had I not gone through those experiences. So, yes, and absolutely anybody listening says no judgment.
Speaker 1:If you find yourself wherever you are, wherever you're at, it's totally fine that, like you said, there are no mistakes and we, at any point and this is, I think, a beautiful gift from Source Creator is that we can change in any given moment. Yeah, and that is something that is so powerful. So anybody listening, watching, is not where they want to be, but you don't have to stay there. You don't't, and there is a light and you can embrace change and just start doing the steps that chris has talked about and I believe you will start to see the change yeah, and I love that.
Speaker 2:You said you wouldn't do the same things as you would have five years ago. Thank god, right, because that means you grew.
Speaker 1:That's the good thing I think I talked to a bunch of different people and they'll say, oh, and I cringe, I think about this or that, and I'm like, yeah, but we have to have grace for ourselves, our former selves, because in those moments we didn't know any better or we were working with the knowledge we had at the time. You know, I mean that's how things change, like things change in medicine, things change in all of these different things, and we just have to have grace. But, yeah, absolutely no judgment or anything at all. Everybody is where they are and, like you said, it's also so important to not judge others, because we do not know the soul contracts, we do not know what agreements and what lessons.
Speaker 1:We're all here, everybody comes to earth with a mission, and we don't know each other's missions and there's so many things that are so much bigger than what we are that we can't even conceive or really truly understand what, Because we can all, of course, go down rabbit holes. Why would this exist? Or why is that? And I always say I try to understand it as best I can, but there are some things that my human mind just can't wrap itself around and I'll know I always say I'll know the truth when I cross back into spirit, because I'll be, able to know in that moment the answers to the things that I was never able, in my human form, to experience.
Speaker 1:And I think we just all have to sometimes be okay with that. We're not going to have all the answers, no matter what, no matter how enlightened or evolved we are. We're just not going to get to that point where we know it all because we're not in spirit, and you have to be in spirit to have that kind of knowledge and understanding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wanted to just jump in. I just thought of another thing, to just go off this whole healing thing. I also want people to not think that this is miraculous healings all the time, like. One of my favorite stories is by Vishen Lakhiani, who's the owner of Mindvalley, and he says that his eyes were really bad his eyesight and he would meditate for hours every day and try to fix his eyes and visualize it and use the law of attraction. Nothing was working. His eyes weren't miraculously getting better. And then one day he walked out of his apartment, looked up, saw this giant billboard that said LASIK surgery. And that was the universe's message. Here's this thing that's going to make it better.
Speaker 2:And I think that goes back to not worrying about the how. Sometimes it's modern medicine right, but it's, but it's through our own manifesting. So I just want to throw that out there for any of the skeptics too. I remember sharing that story a long time ago and someone who had been dealing with an illness was like thank you, like it's, because sometimes I think when you're in it it can be so heavy and so hard and it's just. Your world gets so small and you're not as receptive to some of these loftier conversations. But one of my mentors was talking recently to a group of us and he was like be on your podium but step off of it so you can meet people where they're at. So I always like that story to do that.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and Western medicine isn't all bad Like it has a lot of wonderful things that it has to offer. So, absolutely, I love that you brought that in. I want to go to one concept in your book that you talk about that I think is important for people to learn about is, like you have practicing forgiveness, and I think forgiveness for people can be really difficult, really difficult, and I've heard a lot of people talk about it, write about it, and I think it's important concepts for us to grasp that forgiveness is possible. I recently listened to something about that Michael Beckwith talked about with forgiveness and it really impacted me. But I know forgiveness isn't for anyone else, it's for us on an individual level. But I really liked how you talked about it. But do you want to touch on forgiveness? Because I believe that also helps us to be able to let go and release some of the things that we're holding on to that may be holding us back from being able to move forward.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, and you'll have to tell me later what Michael Beckwith said about it. I love Michael Beckwith. He endorsed my book. Thank you, michael and I love talking about forgiveness. This is one of my favorite topics to talk about, because it used to be really hard for me too.
Speaker 2:I told you my story in the beginning, but I've since forgiven all of those people and there's such a feeling of freedom that goes with it. Right, and like you said, it's not for the other person, it's for you. This isn't about excusing their behaviors. It's so that you can let go of your anger, your guilt, your shame, your resentment, your judgment, whatever it is that you're holding on to, because that shit is poison, and holding on to poison only hurts you. Here's the thing no one has so much power over you that they can ruin your life or even your day. Right, it's all a choice on your part. Happiness is a choice, and, likewise, peace of mind can't be found in blaming others. Right Now, people can try to take away your peace of mind and happiness. Right, they can say mean things about you, they control you on the internet, they can criticize you, they can even try to physically hurt you in some kind of way, but unless you allow them to take away your peace of mind and happiness, they can't do it.
Speaker 2:Now there's a few ways that I like to teach forgiveness. One of them is I'll just talk about the soul contracts, like, because we've been talking about that already All of these perceived enemies or villains in your lifetime are often your friends on the other side of the veil right and they love you so much that they are willing for, they're ready and willing to let you be angry at them, because they know that it's going to help you grow. So you had a soul contract with them that they were going to come here and do this horrible thing to you so that you had the opportunity to forgive or to grow from it or to learn from it or to level up in some kind of way from it. And then, when everyone's on the other side of the veil, the actors are going to take off their costumes, you included, and they'll probably give you a big hug and tell you how proud of you. They are right, because again, everything is happening for you, not to you. Now, the more kind of grounded way that I teach forgiveness for those who are like it's a little too woo-woo for me.
Speaker 2:I like to start off with a teaching story. So imagine that you're sitting on your couch and you hear this meowing going on outside. So you go out into your yard to check it out and like way in the corner of your yard you see this scrawny black and white cat and you're like I love kitties, I'm going to go pet that kitty. So you go over and right when you're about to pet the cat, it arches its back and it hisses and it swats at you. Now what are you thinking? That's a mean kitty, that's an evil kitty, that cat's kind of an asshole, right. But if you stay we all have those thoughts. But if you stay and you allow yourself to really see that cat, you might notice its leg is bleeding and so your mind starts to go okay, this animal is hurt. And then, if you keep allowing yourself to see that cat, you might notice four tiny black and white kittens with their eyes still closed behind it and suddenly, just like that, your perspective shifts to one of empathy, concern, compassion. And you can do the same thing with the people of your lives, because when people are lashing out at you, they are coming from a place of their own pain and their own fear.
Speaker 2:And we tend to go through life taking a lot of things personally, right, but most often, people are not out there trying to create chaos and havoc in your life and hurt you. They're just reacting to the world around them. Right, they're thinking about themselves, but all you're thinking about is how it affects you. So there's this awesome poem I love called On the Day you Read this, by Lane Thomas, and there's this really cool line in there and it says no one's really judging you when you walk into a room, and all they really want to know is if you are judging them. And I love that so much. It gives me goosebumps every time I say it and it reminds me of the taking things personally thing, right, no one's out there trying to hurt you. They're just thinking about themselves and you're thinking about yourself. So if you want to forgive someone, there's a very specific way to do it, and it's to flip the way you're looking at these people, right, we tend to think of the people who hurt us as these monsters, and so what we end up doing is we run everything they've ever said and done through this imaginary filter so that we just turn them into this evil being that has horrible intentions and they've never done anything good or said anything good, and they're just like this horrible thing, right, this monster.
Speaker 2:Now, the way to change your life is to change these monsters into teachers, into beings you appreciate. So there's two ways to do that. The first is to think of positive attributes that they have. What are some ways that they've done good in the world or helped other people or helped you? What are things you admire about them? Chances are there's something that you admire about them, right? They're not this just like evil entity that your lack of forgiveness wants you to see.
Speaker 2:So if you're listening to this and you're like there's nothing, my monster, there's nothing, admiral Bottom. And then the other part of this, too, is everyone has different facets to them, right, like, the part that you focus on is what you're going to get more of. Right, because no one's good or bad or like good or evil. Like, everyone has a little bit of everything and it's all subjective anyway. And then it comes back to the law of attraction. If you're focusing on a negative side of someone, if you're expecting to get a negative side of someone, you're going to get that Second way to turn a monster into a teacher is to realize ways that they've helped you grow.
Speaker 2:So maybe they've helped you establish better boundaries, maybe they've I don't know taught you how you don't want to treat other people, maybe they've just helped you to step into your own power.
Speaker 2:Whatever it is, there's some way that you can grow from the situation that happened with them, if you allow yourself to. Because this all comes back to a choice again, right, so it all ties in together. But then the cool thing about forgiveness is there's like this paradox right, so you can choose to not cast blame on another person. That's your choice too, and you're not going to get any peace of mind from casting blame, right? All you're going to get is staying small, playing the victim, and there's perceived payoffs to playing the victim. You get to be the victim, you get to have pity, you get to have attention, like all of this stuff, but what you don't get to do is really heal and step into your own power. So the paradox to forgiveness is, if you choose to not place blame on another person, there's nothing even left to forgive. All there is to do is just let things go. So, again, it all comes down to this choice is yours and is all your perspective.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and I've read things where unhealed people hurt others. Healed people help others heal, and I learned this much later in life than I would have liked to. But that what, like you were talking about earlier, when people are attacking you, whether it be emotionally, physically however, that it isn't really about you, that it's something unhealed or an insecurity or a trauma within themselves and it's being projected onto you, and I learned that later. So now, when I get into situations, I often will ask myself okay, what is the lesson here? What is really going on? And I know that can be very difficult if it's a difficult personality, a difficult person, all of these things. I'm not saying that this is an easy thing to do, but when you look at it, the way that you're describing, okay, what am I learning from this? How is this helping me evolve on my path? What have I learned about myself?
Speaker 1:Because often I totally agree often these people who are, in some ways, we could say, a villain in the story, push us in a way that help us get to something that we may not have done had that not occurred, and some of the most painful things I've experienced in my life have brought me to where I am today. It's brought me to talking with you, and so I have no regrets about any of those things that I went through or experienced, because I have a deeper connection with spirit, I have an understanding of the world that I did not have prior to any of these things happening, and I would never want to go back to that existence, that lack of understanding and knowledge of what we are, who we are, what we came here to do. So I think, like you said, it's all about reframing and I like how you say you have to try to find the positive or what would we say, silver lining, maybe right in every situation, and be able to think too. I will say going back to the soul, contracts and those things when we can accept and understand that we did have agreements and that people are playing rules, no matter how difficult it is for them being, like you said, on the other side of the veil. Everything is love, that you can have a newfound understanding and respect in so many ways because you on some soul level agreed to this and so that it would help you to grow and that person really isn't the villain that you see them in this human meat suit. Right, it's just it's a little bit different. So being able to use those ways to look at it, I think can help people process and maybe begin to go down that pathway of okay, wait a minute, I need maybe sit down and start, like you said, have a list, write out the things that are that you do find positive about that person, and then I like how you're talking about that in teaching people to work through the more difficult things.
Speaker 1:And I know one thing too and this is one thing that Michael Beckwith talked about in his talk on forgiveness, and it's recently in one of his podcasts that he released this is that it is important to remember that when people are, however they are treating you, responding to you is that is just where they are in their consciousness, that is where they are in the moment, and so, understanding that not everybody is going to be on the level or have the understanding that you do, and so bear that in mind that it isn't necessarily. It goes back to all the things you're saying. It may not actually be personal. It's just where they are.
Speaker 1:And again, he said exactly what you said. It's not like you're condoning or making excuses for anything that people have done, because people do sometimes do really nasty, terrible, horrible things, and that's not condoning any of the behavior, but the things that you're talking about, the things that he talked about is allowing you as a person to find peace and be able to move forward in your life. Like you said, you can just let it go, take it for what it was and then move forward and, like you said, it's poison in your body to hold on to the anger and the resentment and the hatred or whatever it is whatever you're experiencing, that is a poison for your body and finding a way to let that go and release and move forward.
Speaker 1:And there is such a oh my gosh it's like a release of a weight right when you can finally let that go and move forward and just continue on this magical journey that we call life right.
Speaker 2:Totally, yeah, yeah, it's freeing. It's freeing to not hold on to all that stuff. That stuff is so heavy.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. I love all the things you talk about in your book and your book is fantastic. So everybody you guys have to go out and buy Chris's book. You talk about persistence, resilience and adapting. I think that, too, is a really important thing for people to understand that, because you touched on this earlier when we have our ideas of where we're going to go in life, we may not get to the end the way that we think we will, but being able and there's so much to that right being able to adapt and be resilient. And do you want to touch on that chapter and some of the things that you talked about?
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally. Again, going back to what I experienced this week and I can't really announce it yet, but I will soon One of the biggest things that I've been told by a mentor and lived by in my life is say yes until you have a really good reason to say no. You never know what an opportunity is reason to say no, but you never know when an opportunity, what an opportunity, is going to lead to. So often in social media and in the world these days, everyone's no. Put up boundaries, say no, but have a really good reason if you're going to say no, because, again, life can be a game and you never know where an opportunity is going to lead. And, like you said, sometimes we're asking for something and the universe is going to deliver it in a way we don't expect and and that could be your path, right, that could be the universe giving you that path that you've been asking for, but it just doesn't look like the picture you originally had in your mind. So I think that's really important. And then like, if someone we this is what we've been talking about already but if someone is attacking you, especially like on social I keep going back to social media just because there's so many trolls out there these days. But, yeah, and it says like you said, it says so much more about who they are than who you are. But you also have to consider the source, right. If someone is honestly someone whose opinion you respect, they're out there doing the same thing that you want to be doing Okay, that's an important facet of it, and they're giving you constructive feedback in a polite way. That's going to help you, okay, yeah, maybe you consider that. But if they are just out there like spewing poison at you and trying to bring you down, that's not someone whose opinion you don't need to take to heart. Right, because everyone has opinions. You can't please everyone, right? 500 people can have 500 different opinions and, like, you would make yourself crazy if you tried to please everyone. So you just follow your own star, your North Star, that's your heart. Right, that's all you need.
Speaker 2:And it's also like changing your approach is really important. Like 90% of people don't meet their goals, which is a huge amount, and it's for two reasons. One, they either get frustrated at the first little setback and they give up, or, two, they're just so fearful to start that they don't even begin in the first place. So, like the best thing you can do is get out of your comfort zone, right. Do things that scare you, do them afraid, but do them. You can be anxious and do them. You can be afraid and do them, but just do them. Take that action like we were talking about earlier and we've all heard it from entrepreneurs Like oftentimes it's right after they were about to give up that things finally broke through, right, if you don't want to just try the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. We all know what that is right the definition of insanity but there's always a way that you can try. That's going to shake everything loose. And so if you're saying like I've tried everything, no, you haven't, because you haven't found the way that works yet, I can share.
Speaker 2:Like an, I used to own a yoga studio, yoga company. We just sold it. I just sold it a couple weeks ago, which is really a huge accomplishment that I was excited about. But, um, california passed a law it's called ab5 where yoga teachers can't be contractors anymore. They have to be w2 employees and it's like sinking all of these small businesses. It's not just yoga teachers, it's like any anyone that the description is like anyone who does the service that like what your company does. So it's like you hire a plumber, that's a contractor, but if it's a yoga teacher, then they have to be a W-2 employee.
Speaker 2:And all these yoga teachers hate it because now they can't write anything off right Like they could when they were 1099 contractors. But it was sinking, or it has been. It is sinking all of these companies because now you have to pay employee taxes right On top of everything and if you don't pay a teacher 40 bucks anymore, you pay 40 bucks plus all these taxes and it's just, it's really been hurting small businesses and my husband and I sat down and we're like, okay, what can we do? And we decided to bring all of our teachers on as profit sharing partners and pool everything. And it was amazing and it worked and it made people motivated and want to help with the marketing and share the classes and it made them feel good when the classes were full and everything was fairly cut. And but that was like an example of you have to get innovative, you have to adapt, you have to try something you haven't tried before. Like one of my favorite sayings, if you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. It's very true. We have to. You're exactly right, and I think, too, we have to make ourselves be uncomfortable, because that is where the growth is. You have to get outside of that comfort zone, so we have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. So that's actually was like. My mission for this year of 2024 was to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and do things that push me outside of my comfort zone.
Speaker 2:Because when you think of life as a game, it's like failure is just feedback on one way that didn't work right. You fail forward and it's fun. There's no reward without risk. It's so fun to push yourself out of your comfort zone, do something that terrifies you and then, if you do it a couple of times, suddenly it's not scary anymore and you're like oh, I got this, let's try the next thing. Right, and you feel like addicted to this kind of behavior a little bit. Right, Because like a good kind of addiction, because the growth happens so more exponentially when you're going out and seeking it right.
Speaker 2:Like we were talking earlier about, if you're not on the path you're meant to be on, you're not doing, you're not stepping out. The universe is eventually going to do something that just shakes your life up. It is going to rock the soil beneath your feet. But if you're constantly going out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there and trying new things and following your passions, like the universe doesn't have to do that, so you can actually oftentimes avoid some pretty heavy, dark night of the souls. Maybe not all of them, because again, they're soul contracts or things you're contracted to go through, but it's you take charge more than just drifting along right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. So we do have some measure of control there with our choices and all those things. Well, chris, it's been such a pleasure talking with you. Everybody you've got to go get her book and read it. But for those listening, where can they find you? Can they follow you book and read it? But for those listening, where can they?
Speaker 2:find you. Can they follow you? What's your website? How can they reach you? Yeah, thanks so much. So Krisashley. net is my website and Kris is spelled with a K. And then Change your Mind with Kris is my handle on Instagram, tiktok, youtube I think I'm just chrisashley on Facebook, and my book Change your Mind to Change your Reality is available everywhere you get your books it's in paperback, ebook, audiobook. And again, it was endorsed by Michael Beckwith, Bob Doyle, marcy Shimoff, who are all in the Secret. It's endorsed by John Gray, who wrote Men Are From Mars, women Are From Venus, anita Morjani, lots of others. And, yeah, the podcast is Change your Mind with Chris Ashley. So thank you so much for letting me do a little plug at the end. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely, and thank you so much for being here, chris. I honor the beautiful light you have in this world.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, and thank you for the work that you're doing as well. It's really important.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Hello, beautiful souls, Thank you so much for listening and for all of your support. I honor the beautiful light that is in each and every one of you. I would love it if you would take a minute and rate and review the podcast. It really helps get the messages out there. I'm also now offering distance Reiki sessions links in the podcast notes. Reiki completely changed my life. If you are interested or curious, please reach out. I would love to be of service or just help Reiki and its amazing benefits. Thank you so much and I'm wishing everybody an amazing day.
