Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Comedian and esthetician, Nicky Davis, along with side kick/boyfriend/assistant Sandro Iocolano, interviews comedians, actors and other practitioners as we learn about the latest, as well as the oldest techniques for staying young. We get weird but educational.
Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Ep.86 SKINCARE For your SUN SIGN/ Guest Comedian and Sarah Lawrence
This episode is by far one of my favorites! It’s skin care for your astrological sign! Which sign needs the most moisturizer! Which sign should keep it simple and which sign needs to spice up their skin regimen? Whether you’re a Capricorn or a Scorpio or anything in between, we go through each of the signs to help match your skin care practices with your astrological essence.
You are listening to, watching, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling sex, drugs and skincare. Like and subscribe. Hey, welcome back to Sex, drugs and Skincare. I'm Nikki Davis Jr. I am a licensed comedian, stand-up esthetician and in need of a new joke for that.
Speaker 2:I like when you do your own credits, yeah, and you're like wait, is that my own credits?
Speaker 1:Well, thank you. I give myself credit for doing that you should?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I do. I think it's very credible, are you?
Speaker 1:coming up here. Hi, this is Cal. This is the son of our next guest.
Speaker 2:Cal drove Because the guest doesn't drive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cal drove. Yeah, cow drove. Uh, because the guest doesn't drive. Yeah, cow drove. Yeah, oh, uh, oh, I think I'm a new friend, uh, with me as well, as cow is my. Uh is sandro yocolanos. Uh, sherpa, fashion designer, no, set designer. Yep, um, the guy who puts the meter in the money in the meter I put the meter in the money and your money in your meter.
Speaker 2:I love thathmm. I love that Snoop Dogg.
Speaker 1:That's the.
Speaker 2:That's the dog Snoop and a Dre doc when they were older. That's what they do Because it's mine and my money and money and my money. Now that's like reality. They're adults now. It's like I got my mind's on the meter and to put money in the meter. So no matter how rich you are and people who are very wealthy in LA, they have to pay for parking in their own house. They have to install a meter if you make so much more money.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:Yep Wow.
Speaker 1:Is that a good improv? I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:That's a really good improv, is it? Yeah, I didn't know that it's better than the one I just did.
Speaker 1:So way better.
Speaker 2:Hey, I had a question to ask you when you salute, can you salute with your right hand, or is it right or left?
Speaker 1:Why are you asking me? I'm the last person that would know that.
Speaker 2:Well, because I know good improv, by the way. What are you asking me? That's good, I like that. That's even better. What's this got to do with me? You're like.
Speaker 1:you're like in the middle of the state it's like ask the next guy from the next group, oh yeah, yeah, you're right and seen.
Speaker 2:That's good. I like that. No, because I was facing sometimes to be safe. I just do both like I just go like this. That looks ridiculous, but it's ridiculous, because then who's driving the car?
Speaker 1:yeah, all right. Anyways, you did that to jack black one time and you saw him on the street.
Speaker 2:I did, I saluted, himuted him.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought that was perfect. And now, anytime I see somebody that I respect, instead of being like, hey, I respect you, I'm just going to be like this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, just like you know. Thank you for your service, yeah.
Speaker 1:I think that would have been better than what I did with Tig Notaro, which is stop her on the street, and couldn't have wanted to get away from me faster. She goes. I'm just trying to get a ride, oh yeah I'm waiting for my uber wow I was like okay, you never meet your heroes comedians never stop being funny they just she's always on, always on, wow, and I love her, so she's probably ticked off come on, uh, yep, there we go. The guest is leaving.
Speaker 2:That, yeah, the guest is leaving, all right, good have fun paying for your own parking Unbelievable, all right, so I did the saluting thing. We're good. Oh, by the way, jack Black. When I saw him, he was crossing the street and he looked like a human beach ball, like the tie-dye jacket, the tie-dye shirt, the tie-dye shirt, the tie-dye short pants. He had purple, uh, he. I noticed that he gained a little bit of weight, yeah, but and then his shoes. He had crocs on, uh, he looked fantastic, he looked glorious, and his giant beard glasses. And he just stood there like a little kid waiting to cross the street and I just saluted and then he went, saluted back.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so cool he's probably I don't know. I haven't seen him since he's. He might have died, but in that moment, that day it was. It was fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1:Like that's the person that you salute yeah, and he saluted you back, which was really super cool yeah, he smiled.
Speaker 2:He was like oh, I haven't gotten that in a while yeah or ever ever. Yeah, probably people in the military. He probably doesn't have much, like you know, army friends I don't feel like it's military ties.
Speaker 1:No tenacious?
Speaker 2:d is not, I don't think. Yeah, he's not really, he's not too pro-war you know no and they're just pro like fast food pro fast food. Yeah, that seems they're really fun they're just like chilling fast food, smoking weed did I tell you that my band, a long time what?
Speaker 1:not my van, but a band I was in opened for them at the um, not at the El Rey Theater, it was some theater, it was like a big theater on. I think it's on Hollywood Boulevard, I can't remember the name of it right now.
Speaker 2:AMC? Yes, the movie theater. They sat us.
Speaker 1:No, it was like a we would do. Oh my God, full circle.
Speaker 2:We haven't even gotten to the circle yet that was the name of the band, no, it was Harvey Sid Fisher right, and Harvey Sid Fisher used to do astrology songs. Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, so each song had a sign, each Zodiac sign had a song that went to it. It was like I was born a Capricorn. I was born a Capricorn. I was born a Capricorn Right, and so, like, each one had a description of, like you know what each sign would be, and I was one of the backup singers and I played bass sometimes, so that's what we did there.
Speaker 2:And we only saw videos. You doing this, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I always sort of loved bombing, Like the more we bombed the better, because it was like they just don't get it, which is kind of makes you like kind of feel good about yourself. And what was my point?
Speaker 2:Oh, this ties in with the.
Speaker 1:I didn't mean to say this that's good. I know, yeah, I didn't mean to say this yeah, yeah, I didn't mean to say this and you got to do that. Yeah, um, this ties in with the topic for today. What is today's topic? Today's topic, okay, it is skincare, based on your son's sign. Wow.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Isn't that crazy.
Speaker 2:Then we Harvey Sid Fisher, did the Zodiac thing. He might, he also might be the Zodiac killer yeah. Three names. No one knows anything about this guy Harvey Sid Fisher. That's true.
Speaker 1:By the way, look up Harvey Sid Fisher, I'm sure, as he probably has HarveySidFishercom. I don't know if I'm on any of his videos. I might be. I know I'm on some of like the recordings that are out there, but he definitely used to have on Comedy Central at the end of the Daily Show when it was still John the big tall guy. What was that guy's name?
Speaker 2:Craig Kilborn.
Speaker 1:That guy.
Speaker 2:John Craig Kilborn. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And at the end it would be your moment of zen, and then it would have like whatever Ridiculous, have like whatever, um, ridiculous thing. Yeah, it would be like whichever sign it was, and then there would be like a lady in a leotard, like you know from, like women's, you know village who just came out of like her modern dance class, uh, dancing along to it yeah, each song, yeah, like something ridiculous.
Speaker 1:At the end it was just like a somebody almost like a public access, but they did it every like, maybe once a month or something like that.
Speaker 2:That's pretty cool yeah so they have like a standing gig. We're like, hey, can you just come in and do like the last three while the credits are going and just be kind of like just yourselves I think it was pre-recorded.
Speaker 1:But yeah, oh, it was pre-recorded. Yeah, I think it was like they gave them like the video, well what?
Speaker 2:happened to tv. People used to do uh epilogues live. They used to do, and while credits were rolling, they would go in there and they would play live music and you know like that's your moment to shine while the credits are going by and now they have to prerecord it. I bet, I bet, they even did lighting.
Speaker 1:When I was little, I used to think that, um, that the radio was people actually doing live music and recording? It over the yeah over actually doing live music and recording it over the yeah, over the the airwaves. That makes sense, though it's like they'd have to come in like every you know, every 40 songs to do their song full band sound checks.
Speaker 2:It's like how do you do so fast? I know how do they set up, yeah. And then the one time you do hear somebody say, hey, we have so-and-so in studio. Today they're gonna be playing a little acoustic.
Speaker 1:You're like oh god change, I don't want this crap that's the worst.
Speaker 2:Like dude, do it live. Record it then I'll listen to it. Don't do it live I don't want to hear uh.
Speaker 1:You give love a bad name on. Uh on a acoustic guitar, yeah you should be.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it should be like in in person when you go to a band, when you go see a band, they're there. When I saw dave matthews, they were there.
Speaker 1:They recorded themselves david is a they now yeah, they Well, dave Matthews, oh the whole band. Well, there's a whole band.
Speaker 2:They're a collective, and so they recorded all of their songs. And then they sat there with their instruments in their hands and they sat down and they pressed play and they played all the music they recorded. They didn't even play.
Speaker 1:That's how you do it. Of course I'm lying, but what I'm trying to tell you is that's how you do it. I'm extremely gullible.
Speaker 2:That's really good improv too. You're lying right.
Speaker 1:I'm going to fact check this. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2:I think we should move on because I am curious about the sun sign. All right, and our guest has yawned, I don't know how many times.
Speaker 1:Have you yawned?
Speaker 2:No, we can on. This is the third of uh three podcasts she's been on in the last 24 hours she's said so.
Speaker 1:No one should ever have to talk to anybody ever.
Speaker 3:Thanks for giving us sloppy thirds.
Speaker 1:Well, I came in hot and then I think I got high from the smoke, did anybody smoke weed I smoked weed in the other room a couple weeks ago I did not smoke, but it is mushroom day for me, so, but that's that. I took a little bit of like a pinch of micro. Josey mushroom me, yeah, yeah, but that's that. I took a little bit of like a pinch of microdose. Yeah, I did as well.
Speaker 2:I took a little bit, just a pinch, just to put on a piece of pizza and ate it. Actually, I haven't eaten anything today, so I have a little bit of mushrooms and some water and uh, we'll see what happens you eat the vegan brownies I made they were very good I should have brought you one.
Speaker 1:It's 6 pm. You haven't eaten.
Speaker 3:Well, I did that yesterday too.
Speaker 1:Schedule yeah yeah well, so listen, do you want this?
Speaker 3:I love this cat so much hi cow, I love you, I'm gonna take you home um, brushes up against everything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this little scent, it's a little love bug yeah, um, so do you want to go uh take care of the, uh the business that you need to take care of yeah, we're gonna, and then we're gonna switch. So let's just start as if we're gonna bring uh the guest up right now, this guest okay, I like this do you want to? Do you want to bring her out, or do you want me to bring her?
Speaker 2:I think you should bring her up um. This is the third time that she's been on the podcast timer.
Speaker 3:Yeah, try time have you been on any other podcast three times? No, no, only once. This is the third podcast.
Speaker 2:She's done in 24 hours. This is her third time doing it. So you know what that means numbers repeat themselves I was gonna say nothing.
Speaker 1:I thought you were saying nothing.
Speaker 2:No, I was, I really believe, I really believe that yeah, numbers, numbers, numbers, yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think it's pretty cool three times too oh my god, beetlejuice yeah the third, one's gonna suck okay um yeah, I think we should bring our guest out. She's really cool, super funny, so funny, super fucking funny. She travels. I've seen so many videos of her online. I've been back online so I've been offline so long that I still call it online. So yeah, she's super funny, super funny comedian actor. She's very, very in touch with herself and the universe and the universe, and it's pretty cool. She's very, very in touch with herself. And the universe and the universe and it's pretty cool, so I don't-.
Speaker 1:She's super positive, inspiring. We love her. I can't say enough good things about her. So don't get excited. You're not going to you can clap, but you're going to clap when you come back over here just because we're going to pretend like you just magically appeared over here Got it. Remember last time and I remember that, yay, that was so funny.
Speaker 2:Let's keep this in here. I like all this inside baseball. All right, cool, yeah, inside baseball.
Speaker 1:All right, you guys coming to the couch right now. Sarah Lawrence, Yay, I'm going to clap from the other room. That's exciting. The producer, Alex, is clapping.
Speaker 3:I like in podcasts, when you can hear stuff that's happening off mic. I do too. Yeah, you're thinking about bts. I love that like real people, yeah, yeah, yeah or like if someone goes like this if they go like, hey, let me go get it, and then you can hear them like off mic and then when they come back and you can hear them back in the mic, did you like that?
Speaker 1:that's real. Yeah, that's the real stuff. Yeah, I like that. That's the kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:People are like like it's okay.
Speaker 3:Well, this is really happening, like you're breaking that fourth wall oh, when someone walks in and they go hey, you can hear him walk in. Yeah, sorry yeah, I'll take your name. Yeah, yeah, hey, shane, uh, shane gillis. What's up, dude, shane gillis who's that?
Speaker 2:he's a comedian.
Speaker 1:Oh okay, yeah you shouldn't have to know anything you don't want to know that's true, it doesn't matter anyways.
Speaker 2:Oh hey, no, no, that's my, that's my kung pao. Yeah, just leave it right there. Thanks, dude, all right, so I ordered food yesterday. The old Kung Pao, yeah, yeah, the old Kung Pao.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Well, thanks for coming and being here. This is so fucking cool. Sorry, youtube for the F word. Oh sorry, You're not allowed to sweat. I don't even know Let.
Speaker 3:That's cute, I like it. It's a Vivo barefoot. Oh yeah, it's no heel.
Speaker 1:It's something only a tall person could get away with, though, because I need, like you know, a little extra. Well, I love the fact that it doesn't have an extra. Yeah, that's great, Because these?
Speaker 3:fucking shoes, these days are big heels.
Speaker 1:I'm like I don't want an extra two inches. What are we doing here? I do, but yes.
Speaker 3:But yeah, the whole idea is you're not supposed to be walking on big cushioned fucking pillows You're supposed to be walking on your bare feet, and so that's what we're trying to do.
Speaker 1:Next thing they'll be able to do because you're supposed to be able to ground right by touching the ground is somehow make it so that the grounding from the earth can come up through your shoes.
Speaker 3:Well, did you see? There was like a thing in australia where, um you, they made a rule where you have to wear shoes. Oh no, I don't know if it was in australia, but there's some place where you have to wear shoes and everyone was like getting mad about it, so they would put the shoes and then cut the bottoms off. But because they were like we need to be grounded all the time, and so they were walking around bare feet, black, the bottom of their feet were black, but they've got these like converse slipper shoe things, but the bottom is black and it just stays on.
Speaker 1:Because it's tied on? Well, because it's a man. Yeah, that is hilarious, it's just.
Speaker 3:But they're like so desperate to remain barefoot and they're like this is our right. We should be able to walk around bare feet. It's like, okay, but you're also insane.
Speaker 1:But also like there's worms.
Speaker 3:You might be getting worms to your feet, yeah, and also the I'm so anal about like keeping my feet like pristinely clean, even like in my house. I'll wear socks or slippers or something. I can't be getting around with grass stains on the bottom of my feet with grass stains or whatever.
Speaker 1:Well, they're black.
Speaker 2:They're walking through a fucking ralph supermarket imagine I mean at the bottom of my feet were green. I think that'd be cool. But like not like. Not because it's like you know they're gonna're going to fall off or anything, but like, just because it's like you didn't bottom your feet green, it's like, yeah, it's like I have the. Uh, I have the. It's the men's. It's the men's Louboutin foot.
Speaker 1:It's perfect. I like that. It works out well. So what's been going on? You, uh, you've been, you've been away, you back you went to some retreats you got some really good questions you've been away or gone, or both you did some stuff, yeah
Speaker 3:so, yeah, the last time I saw you I've been on a retreat since then and then I got back and was like I need to just sit in my house, had a little mentee bee, um, was like I'm not gonna go anywhere, then booked to austin to go to another fucking retreat thing. And then I got there and I was like I hate, I don't know why I'm here, left after one day, but that's because I got a job in LA, so it all worked out perfectly. I flew back after only one day and I was like, good, I'm not going to go anywhere for a minute, I need to sit in my house and not go anywhere, not travel. And then, um, my dad was having a wow. So I was literally getting in on a Friday, seeing him Friday night, saturday night, and then flying out Sunday night, wow.
Speaker 3:And then I ran into some comedians on the plane on the way to Australia. They were like do the show, do our show. And I went all right. So then I changed my trip from two days to two weeks. Then I had to buy a whole new clothes. I brought like three t-shirts.
Speaker 3:So I had to buy all new clothes and I just got back like five days ago, had 47 minutes sleep and then just like straight back into everything. And then my mom comes in a week and then I go to san francisco to spend christmas with my brother and her, and then me and her drive down the coast for a week, and then I go to atlanta for a week and then I'm fucking staying at home for once.
Speaker 1:And now it's january 9th all right, it's, it's in the foreseeable future. You're it's what? What day is the day today? Like the 5th.
Speaker 3:December 4th.
Speaker 1:So you've, got about, about about a month of just going crazy.
Speaker 3:Yes, and you're going to be able to just chill. Yes, but that was after I promised myself in July that I would stay put, and here we are, fucking December.
Speaker 1:Oh, gone for a bit frantically running around, frantically trying to get to your retreats.
Speaker 3:Yeah, to break my brain, to then, yeah, really just want to kill myself. Why did you? Um, were you not enjoying the retreat? Uh, no, I hated it. It was horrible. Um, it was. So it was technically an ayahuasca retreat, but it was also a leadership retreat. Okay, and pick one, don't do both okay, okay, yeah it was not fun.
Speaker 3:So during the day they're like breaking you down mentally, and then at night you're doing ayahuasca. So you're all fucked up during the day and you're like, oh, I guess I should kill myself. I'm a terrible person, my business sucks. I'm a bad guy. These are all the things that I've done that are wrong with me. Everyone's telling me that I suck. And then you're like, no, I'm on another planet. And then you're not sleeping and then you're waking up the next day and then you're going into another six hours of workshops. Then you're doing ayahuasca again that night and it's just like it was. I hated it. And also I was on a no phone. That was my personal choice. Nobody else did it, but I was in a silent retreat. No phone, okay. So sorry, not, not, not. The no phone was the thing. It was the thing it was the no talking, oh, okay.
Speaker 3:I like that. So, everyone, I actually liked it. Yeah, me too. But it made it even harder because during these workshops that were like absolutely just destroying your soul instead of coming out of it and going like can you believe that fucking guy? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I was just sitting in the corner just journaling, crying, and everyone else was hanging out at lunch and like chatting and like debriefing and stuff. And then at the end of the retreat everyone's like my God, I'm going to miss you so much. I'm like I simply don't know any of your names Because I never had a conversation with any of them, because I was just sitting by myself in the corner, and so it was really tough. And it was so tough that ayahuasca is so daunting and scary and whatever. It's not anymore. But that was almost a reward.
Speaker 3:I was looking forward to having some relief by sitting down and drinking this fucking stuff compared to what happened in the workshop you would rather deal with your demon yeah somebody in front of you being vomiting and diarrhea and some demons, anybody that can make drug using.
Speaker 2:Uh, awful is just. No, you gotta leave. I think that's a good move, it's like no this is supposed to be uh cool.
Speaker 3:It's supposed to be something I I'm getting something from well, it was the basis of the thing they warned us before.
Speaker 1:They were like, by the way, this is going to be really hard and I was like okay, I was like all right, whatever, and then I got there and I was like well, and I read my post.
Speaker 3:So I posted like a week before on instagram and I was like I'm getting ready to go back to costa rica and I'm really looking forward to and I'm asking the gods to give me a full-on ego death and you know, and then I read it back and I went oh man, I got that. I got exactly what I fucking wrote.
Speaker 1:I lost my mind so you asked for yeah, but I'm back in writing online, holy shit. Well, now you can breathe a little bit. Yeah, until tomorrow morning. What's happening tomorrow morning?
Speaker 3:I don't know, do you?
Speaker 2:rush to your wife yeah no.
Speaker 3:Midnight podcast yeah yeah, yeah fuck, I'm on call for 24 hours at every podcast.
Speaker 1:Anyone need me um yeah, yeah, this will be yeah, anyway, um, so why did you bring um a cow?
Speaker 3:okay, so my poor little cat. Well, first of all I thought people bring their dogs. Yeah, why am I weird for bringing? You're not, I just unusual basically a dog because I trained him to be a dog. And the second thing is I thought maybe he could be a regular on the podcast scene.
Speaker 3:Absolutely I thought maybe people would be like, oh my god, like it might be become a fun thing, um. And thirdly, he sits in my apartment all day and loses his mind, and it's not fair. So he's just like a dog, almost, where you know, if I try to take him around with me all day, every day, to like the places that I need to, to do, uh, to, to go, um, but today, you know, I left my house at 9 am and it's now 6 pm and I haven't been home all day and so he's just been sitting there staring at the wall losing his little mind.
Speaker 3:I was like I bring him and then he now he gets to, like you know, use his little brain. Look around, sorry, I keep saying little brain, you're very smart. But now he gets stimulated and he's not gonna lose his mind yeah when, when we get home, because he's, you know, doing zoomies, because he's he's like a little I thought he was doing zoom.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's like. I'm going to have to call you back, barbara. I got another call.
Speaker 3:But he needs to get his little mind stimulated.
Speaker 1:How do you travel with him, though? Is it like?
Speaker 3:a care carrier, I shove him in my fucking suitcase yeah.
Speaker 1:Don't really. No, I put him in a carrier and he's fine in there.
Speaker 3:He doesn't cry and I keep him on my shoulder Okay, carry, and I go, I won't. And then halfway through the flight, when everyone's asleep or whatever, I'll bring him out and I'll put him here, um, and then when we, as soon as we get out of the plane, I put him on my shoulder and he's fucking sits. I have some footage here if you want to show it and then he'll just sit on my shoulder and he'll just like look around the airport.
Speaker 3:It's very cute and he goes everywhere with me because otherwise he's I can get a sitter. So there's an app called trusted house sitters. Did you know about this? It's free, you just post. So I went to australia, I post, I go. Hey, someone needs to look after my cat. Bang five applications. You pick one, someone just rolls into your house. It's free, they don't charge you, they nothing. What's the catch? They get a free house.
Speaker 3:Oh, so it's like it's the most convenient thing of all time, and so when this Australia trip happened, it was impromptu, right. I was like I'm going to fly to Australia tomorrow, bang, I post a link, five people apply, I go. Great, teresa, you got it. Teresa comes the next day. I'm out already at the airport. She rolls into my house. I have a lockbox. Then when the trip got extended, I just extend like posted another trip from australia, had someone else come in like theresa and crystal. Then they do a switch over. I've never met either of them. Wow, they did like a handover and she taught him like did they do a background check on these people.
Speaker 3:Well, they have reviews and stuff okay so like one of them had like 15 reviews and it's all people and like, oh, she stayed in my house before she was lovely most of my stuff was there when I got back.
Speaker 2:Most of it was inconsiderate. Top draw was rifled through only a little bit. Oh, rifling is definitely something you have to do when someone's the person that comes to our house.
Speaker 1:He's been known to like go through uh he's been known to.
Speaker 2:He said he said, he said one time. He said one time to a friend of ours he goes, yeah, when people aren't. I don't know if he's got a dry sense of humor, so maybe he's like yeah, he's like, yeah, you know he's like when people um, he's like when people go out of their house. I really like just kind of going through their stuff. He's like I don't take anything, but I just go through their stuff well then, I'm telling you that's true.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's not a joke, that was no, that was true.
Speaker 2:And I've still had him come over since, and it's fine, I, I, whatever, there's nothing there to take.
Speaker 1:Well, but it's just, I didn't want him to seeing, like seeing like all the stuff in the side of the bed. Anal beads yeah, whatever, yeah yeah, yeah, so I took a hair. We really anal about our beads too.
Speaker 2:Yes, right, we super anal about them.
Speaker 1:They need to be nice and clean.
Speaker 2:They should be called meticulous beads. All right, go ahead Got it anyway, so that's a great service. You said about the hair.
Speaker 1:I taped the hair on the outside. It was my hair, so it was super light and very fine, so you can't see it unless you have a microscope. Put it on the outside of the drawer so even if it was just opened a tiny little bit, the hair falls in. They push it back in. I can tell if someone's been in the drawer but nobody had been in the drawer so I thought of anything, they would be definitely going through our bedroom. I mean, those are the most interesting drawers in a person's house.
Speaker 2:So the ones by the nightstand, yeah yeah, but by the nightstand and the top ones and those you think that people because their stuff, no, it's just the ones you get you the quickest oh, okay, right yeah, and then people think that, like the, the, I know this, I know, know this, I know this.
Speaker 2:this episode is about cabinets, but this isn't. But I think drawers is really what we're going to talk. The closest drawer to your bed, that's where you keep the good stuff, because when you're in bed, that's when you, you know you want to get all your sex toys, like nachos and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:Did you with nachos? I haven't lived 2 am. You're like ah, ah.
Speaker 2:Wait, that was like rubbing my head and patting my stomach.
Speaker 3:I couldn't jack off and eat nachos at the same time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Pool Ranch is the one you want to go with at that hour.
Speaker 1:It's hot. You don't want the spicy Cheetos.
Speaker 2:No, your hands get all orange Flaming, hot yeah.
Speaker 1:When your penis gets orange, yeah, exactly, yeah it gives it away and the lights are off, so who's it for exactly doesn't matter, yeah it goes well.
Speaker 2:That's true. Yeah, it could be for yourself. You have a dog, two cats. We have two cats. Yeah, they're the size of dogs.
Speaker 1:They're like this you wake up that wouldn't be surprised, all right, well, let's go to the topic. Let's, shall we Okay? Yeah, so this is a topic I thought about, because half the time when you come on the show, we end up talking about something you know Cabinets.
Speaker 2:What's that Cabinets, cabinets.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have to talk about cabinets and I thought well, let's do something light, because we've done some of the heavier stuff. Is it Indian Times?
Speaker 2:Oh, ask me Indian Times yeah let's see.
Speaker 1:Is it at the end, does it? Say it might be over here it's either Indian Times or I forgot to write down what it was from. Write it down or look it up. It's apparently a very reliable source of information, based on the person who reviewed them at 2017.
Speaker 2:That's a good year for reviews. I just didn't want to get it from?
Speaker 1:yeah, I didn't want to just get it from cosmo but, it's light, so it really kind of doesn't matter yeah but, um, this is good for if you've ever wondered, like if, um, what, if you might get india times india times.
Speaker 1:Thank you, right. Okay, so I took this from an article online from them. Okay, so we're going to plagiarize that. Um. So, according to your astrology, um, your zodiac sign could influence the stuff that you need, um, not only your personality, but with the skin's needs. And then we're gonna. They don't give you like the perfect regimen, but it's sort of like will give you like an idea of what might be good for the personality type that you are, based on your astrology sign what sign are you interesting, taurus?
Speaker 1:you're taurus, oh okay, and then you're sag yeah and I'm a capricorn? All right. So let's, why don't you say cap, I'm a?
Speaker 3:cap, because you said sag but you didn't say cap right, he's a sagricorn sagricorn.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's what it is yeah, yeah, there's a yeah, if you, I get that.
Speaker 3:Why didn't you? Why didn't you shorten it? I'm not good with style signs.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I think because I'm very literal and I hope it's because you're exactly that's exactly right, and I also don't believe in astrology because of that yeah that was a bull.
Speaker 2:I was gonna say I thought it was gonna be a goat. That was a I thought it was a ford by the way sorry, I couldn't contain myself.
Speaker 3:A double salute, a fucking salute to jack black a double salute is so funny, and also you saluting jack black and then him getting it back.
Speaker 2:So good a dream, okay sorry yeah, no, it was a cool moment and I just found out.
Speaker 1:You'll never forget the crocs oh, he was wearing, oh, he would be wearing crocs and socks all right so, uh, so we're going to look. Uh, it says whether you're a fiery aries or a serene pisces. Aligning your skincare routine could, uh, it might just help you glow in the right ways. Um, so we'll start with aries. I don't care for aries I hate aries.
Speaker 2:Who's in aries, let's get it I don't.
Speaker 1:It's not that I hate them, it's just that I don't understand them. For some reason, aries and aquarius to me are very like. I don't know, as a capricorn it's not. Whenever they put people together, signs together, they're never in there.
Speaker 3:Do you know about this stuff?
Speaker 2:I don't. I know from nikki what's nikki's time. I feel like too much of it what is?
Speaker 3:april 24th?
Speaker 1:uh, isn't that what's yours?
Speaker 3:I'm taurus I'm may 1st, so I feel like I'm almost in aries, right, because aries is before taurus.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it is Aries then, Because it's Capricorn Pisces. No, Capricorn Aquarius Pisces Taurus, Taurus. And then when's Aries? April 24th is Taurus. April 24th is Taurus.
Speaker 3:Oh, so she's a Taurus, then Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, so she's a Taurus. Oh interesting.
Speaker 3:I love Taurus Interesting know about any of this stuff, but I do find the tauruses are the best ones tauruses are great.
Speaker 1:Um, they're very down to earth and uh, and what are you? A taurus, alex? Oh you're just listening okay fuck this bitch I think mark, uh, our other producer, mark, might be an aries. Um, he's an aries, okay, yeah, uh, and, and all the aquarius men that I've ever dated have been garbage.
Speaker 2:So, anyways if you are an Aries, I wish they drowned in an Aquarius in Aquarius.
Speaker 1:Apparently you're always on the go. If you're an Aries, mark, he's saying and he is actually.
Speaker 2:He's always coming and going from somewhere. Do you know who else is Aries Spears? You ever met him, aries?
Speaker 1:Spears he's polarizing so they rarely and this was I can definitely attest to this for mark. He has very little uh time for an elaborate skincare routine, right?
Speaker 2:it's very busy.
Speaker 1:Based on looking at his skin, I'm kidding. Come on, it's a comedy podcast, um, but you that's. Don't laugh at that.
Speaker 2:I know that's the funniest joke of all is that it's a comedy podcast. But you, that's good improv, don't?
Speaker 1:laugh at that. I know that's. The funniest joke of all is that it's a comedy podcast. But apparently you need something fast and effective. You're going to just need like a refreshing cleanser, followed with like a lightweight moisturizer with SPF.
Speaker 3:It's giving cucumber. Yeah, exactly, cucumber on the go, cucumber rose.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, cucumber rose is nice, I like that I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:Your fiery nature ingredients like aloe or chamomile? That's what I've heard. Is that true? Wait what for the fiery nature. Is it in chamomile or is it a?
Speaker 1:fire sign. Look, you missed it. The price just went up. Okay, it said it at the top. The amount of times we'll be here just went down. I'm sorry what your skin might be prone to sensitivity due to a fiery nature.
Speaker 3:Oh, before that it said something fiery. Oh, fiery Aries.
Speaker 2:Yeah fiery Aries, so it might be a fire sign. Yeah, if you go up, okay yeah.
Speaker 1:We have the notes in front of me now.
Speaker 2:A lot of Aries are not firefighters, ironically. No, I think a lot of people that were fire signs would want to be in the fire right you know, but they're not.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I'm just just I thought this is something you found in india I find this very fast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's got to be reliable from 2000 yeah, in and out dot com. I found this on the website for the hamburgers.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say, um, it's okay. So your skin might be prone to sensitivity. This is still still Aries, that we're talking about yeah, yeah okay. So yeah, you need something soothing, like you were saying, like rose or chamomile. Okay, Taurus. Hello, let's get into the Taurus, because we really don't care about anybody but the people that are in this room, right?
Speaker 2:here and Alex and Mark, but he's nearby, right, he's in the other room. Okay, we care. Well, you know what? Can we get somebody to find out what room he's in? Let's see how? Wow that really mattered unbelievable.
Speaker 1:There he's right there. Yeah, he just put his face in sideways like that was pretty good, all right. So let's talk about taurus. You love indulging in self-care, is that correct?
Speaker 3:yep, this is great.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you're my client, literally perfect, yeah, right, yeah, yeah uh, so your skincare routine is all about like things that are luxurious and pampering uh, rich nourishing creams, uh skincare oils that leave your skin really like feeling smooth and hydrated this is the most scene I've ever felt.
Speaker 3:I swear to god. I'm so happy and I think star signs are bullshit. They're not, but this is the best thing I've ever read. Really, it's true. Yeah, I use this moisturizer it's called Jet Lag Mask from Summer Fridays or some shit.
Speaker 2:That's a cool name.
Speaker 3:Yeah, my God, it is, because I love when you put it on at night and you wake up in the morning you still feel it.
Speaker 2:Because I don't like waking up and it's like I and I love just an oil, I'll put a fucking oil on my face.
Speaker 3:It's still it doesn't dry. By the time you get up it still has like moisture.
Speaker 1:That's cool, that's the best, wow but it's like soaked in a little bit and do you use it? Oh my god, yeah, I use it on the plane. I'm like one of those dickheads on the plane.
Speaker 3:So I had a 15 hour flight and I had a three or four gold uh, those I think oh, hell yeah, I was just drinking them in. Drinking them in drinking them in and I leave them on for like three hours and it's like when you leave the plane they're like oh, you have your, I go. You think I'm taking them on, I don't give a fuck, I don't care.
Speaker 1:Thank you Honestly. Like that is, the plane will make you, it'll turn into a raisin. So I've never looked worse after being on a plane ride.
Speaker 3:Instagram by Katie Thurston and Eva Pepage.
Speaker 2:They both posted the same mask.
Speaker 3:So Katie was on the Bachelor and Eva is like an influencer and makes funny videos.
Speaker 2:I've seen that line before. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so they posted this mask and you put it on, like one piece goes at the top and one piece goes at the bottom, and you put it on and it's white, oh, and you leave it on at night and the mask, the two pieces fuse together and then it becomes clear and so all of the white thick mask all gets drained into your face and you peel it off in the morning and I didn't wash my face the other day and for the whole day my face was like almost wet.
Speaker 2:This feels like the plot of an MLight Shyamalan movie. You put it on and all of a sudden it becomes your face.
Speaker 3:You pull it off and then a sudden it becomes your face and then you pull it off.
Speaker 2:I'm interested already. That's fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:I love it I want to try that you leave it on overnight eight hours bang.
Speaker 3:you wake up in the morning and you're like whoa I don't know if you've tried this and I had these on before you got here.
Speaker 1:Are they on my phone here? Sometimes I take them off. Oh, these little sticky silicone scar patches. You can just buy a roll of it and it keeps the moisture in, so like. But it also will flatten out the wrinkles and you, even if you do it for like three, four hours, I like to put them like here and here Sometimes, if I know I'm going to have therapy and put it here, because I know I'm going to cry.
Speaker 1:You know, because therapy is crying, yeah, and but then, and you can feel it, and you can use them like 11 times.
Speaker 2:I like when you, because you put them like you know, like In certain areas you have issues with, but I really like them when you put them on the coffee table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have issues with the coffee table.
Speaker 2:Near the flosser sticks.
Speaker 1:That's like those.
Speaker 2:They really get the wrinkles Out of the wood. That's funny. Yes, they do so.
Speaker 3:I have one, that is, they have a neck one right, they have a whole forehead one silicone patch. They have ones here, they have ones here and they have a neck one.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I think they have a décolleté as well.
Speaker 1:The décolleté? Yeah Well, those are good because they're the size that you need them. This is just a roll.
Speaker 3:So you have to kind of cut them out yourself. But I know the ones you're talking about. They're just super expensive. Yeah, much cheaper to Just a roll.
Speaker 1:That you're cutting is wild yeah even if you just do it the little places and then use the big ones, and you notice. Oh yeah, Every time I notice a difference. Yeah, and if you leave it on for like four hours, even you'll see a difference. It's not permanent, but it holds in the moisture and it allows your skin to breathe still, which is really cool. It's not like cutting off the airflow to your face.
Speaker 2:I love all the shit we do. I just saved you so much money, all right, so we got for Taurus rich nourishing cream, skincare oils.
Speaker 1:Yep, You're going to incorporate face masks, which we just talked about.
Speaker 3:Do you do a jade roller? I don't have the patience, but I have a EMS.
Speaker 1:Oh, with the electromagnetic. Okay, right, it's got the current.
Speaker 3:I need to do that more diligently, though, because I'm like if I could only just be bothered to do this every day, but I do it once.
Speaker 1:That's why I don't have one either, because I know I won't do it. Also, I can just massage my own face right, that's what I do. Um, yeah, so jade roller is apparently very indulgent. It really isn't.
Speaker 3:It's about five dollars on amazon, yeah, um, and your earth sign apparently craves stability, which makes sense I would love some stability, but I don't have any bro, so keep your routine consistent fuck off yeah, I would love to I flying by the seat of my pants 90 of the time you're literally flying 90, except in january, except in january, let's, and I think I will tell you about my secret.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, good, I want, I want to hear it all. All right, gemini, you're known for your um, for your duality. Obviously, gemini is the twins um and they're adaptable, which means you might get bored very easily. Are you a gemini?
Speaker 2:that's oh my god, I love gemini's.
Speaker 1:I just can't date them. Um, I dated a gemini cancer and we were great friends and we were terrible, because gemini's they're basically two people and they'll tell you one thing and then mean another. And then what he said he loves me, which means he's gonna hate me by the end of the podcast because he's two what does a gemini cancer mean?
Speaker 3:that means he's on the cusp he's on the cusp.
Speaker 1:He's on the cusp, yeah, like June 24th. What's your birthday, alex? May 28th. So you're just in the Gemini. I'm so Gemini, you're full on Gemini. So wait, how could if?
Speaker 3:you're only born 28 days after me and I'm awesome. Why would you be shit?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, it's the cancer Gemini. That's shit yeah.
Speaker 3:But Gemini is everyone's like Gemini, that's the way I've ever heard about Gemini. It's like, but so like, why? This is what I don't get 28 days, it's not like we're six months apart. That would make sense to have that polarity, but if we're only, I didn't know, I didn't know. Gemini comes directly after Taurus.
Speaker 1:It. It's because of the signs, probably like the planets, that are like orbiting around at different times and moving. One of them just went meow. No, it's May 28th, bitch, I changed. If you're listening and not watching, Sarah just did a very scientific move where she flicked two index fingers as if she was flipping the planets from one side to the other.
Speaker 2:It was pretty, it was pretty accurate. You felt it. Yeah, alex felt it. I think the 28 day things make sense, though, because I have a friend who loves the movie 28 days. I fucking hate it.
Speaker 3:I find that polarizing you're like every 28 days my girlfriend's a bitch he's an idiot not anymore, oh no are you taking anything? Are you supposed?
Speaker 1:to? No, I haven't taken anything. I'm going to turn 57 in a month wild. She's taking anabolic steroids. Are you having a purity? No, I haven't taken anything. I'm going to turn 57 in a month Wild.
Speaker 2:She's taking anabolic steroids.
Speaker 1:Yes, exactly I forgot. Are you having a?
Speaker 3:PRD Period A PRD, a birthday PRD.
Speaker 1:Oh, I didn't even know that was a thing Everyone puts their teeth into a.
Speaker 3:thing. Oh my God, where we all wash our dentures.
Speaker 2:That would save us so much time. It really would. Yeah, I would finally brush my teeth.
Speaker 1:I know, oh God, get on that.
Speaker 2:But no.
Speaker 1:I haven't started taking anything. I'm going to wait until everything starts falling apart before I do anything about it. Is it Because I feel like this is?
Speaker 3:something that I should research, but I'm going to wait for someone to tell me but I feel like people are what a human growth hormone. You're supposed to take it before you start or something.
Speaker 1:But you haven't felt anything crazy. No, yeah, because I'm kind of like I didn't even gain weight.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:You just kind of went oh. Yeah, I freaked out. I thought I was going to turn into a man, or George Washington, you know like With wooden teeth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, with wooden teeth I would wake up with wooden teeth, all of a sudden be really afraid of termites.
Speaker 1:I want to be able to eat.
Speaker 2:She to eat. She's tight-lipped why?
Speaker 1:because she's private. No, she hates termites. Termites she can't, yeah, she won't, she won't, she won't fall asleep. This is a campfire. So, yeah, so I haven't started. I, I know people who have, I don't know why, but I haven't felt it. My mom was so afraid of going into menopause that she took two uh, twice the amount of estrogen you're supposed to take, and it actually gave her breast cancer. So you can really harm yourself if you're not, if you don't know what you're doing, right so I'm just leaving it alone until until I notice something, until sandra says you know what?
Speaker 1:your skin's falling off the bone. It's probably time for you to get some, uh, some, some help wait, skin falling off the bone is a thing well, I don't know, like your skin's loose and like you know, maybe my boobs have fallen to my belly button.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God yeah.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:But I didn't have kids, so that's so crazy that you're 20 years older than me.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I am 20 years older than you 19 years older than me.
Speaker 3:That's crazy.
Speaker 2:Oh, now it's 19. Oh yeah, 19, yeah.
Speaker 3:And Sandra's, 11 years younger than me, cute sexy.
Speaker 1:I can't date older men, though, why? Me neither, they don't smell as good and they're not as much fun have you before I did. When I was like 23, I dated a guy who was 18 years older than me.
Speaker 3:Well, don't do that. That's a PSA, that's not. I'm talking like I was 38 and my boyfriend was 42. Okay, well, that's different.
Speaker 1:I'm not like. I was 38 and my boyfriend was 42.
Speaker 2:Okay well that's different.
Speaker 3:I'm not like, yeah, he's 67 and pays my rent.
Speaker 2:Is that a red flag? No, it's a pirate flag. He just came over and commandeered my body. What the hell?
Speaker 1:All right, let's get back to Gemini.
Speaker 3:So, by the way, most of my girlfriends that are my best friends are Geminis.
Speaker 1:Liz is a Gemini.
Speaker 3:But you're saying men not compatible.
Speaker 1:Oh, friends, but not compatible. Friends but not compatible.
Speaker 3:I can't tell you what any of my ex-boyfriends signs were you should go back and look, just for fun or I'll do it for you all right I don't even remember their birthdays.
Speaker 1:I swear to god, I'm not a birthday guy. Every boyfriend I've had I know when their birthday passed. It's pretty much.
Speaker 3:I remember one was in april and that it and Amir was June. That's it Out of 10.
Speaker 1:June what Do you know? 26. That's a cancer. Gemini, pretty much right there. June 23rd is like cancer Gemini, cusp. So he's a cancer. What?
Speaker 3:is that Very?
Speaker 1:sensitive. I think it's that way or the other way around.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean everyone. You can never tell what's going on in a comedian's mind. That's true. That's true all comedians are sensitive, especially men.
Speaker 1:All right, um, so. So with Gemini, uh, you're gonna get, uh, you've got the duality going on. So, um, it means you might get bored you're likely to to try some new trends and products and, um, but they've warned you not to overdo it. Try to stick to something simple, um, but maybe change it up every once in a while, but do it, you know, like a gentle exfoliating scrub, like one day, and then the next day you do a hydrating serum to the next, and you just want to keep your skin and your curiosity satisfied. And I'm going to agree with this because, just in general, it's like it's kind of good to keep your skin on its toes. You know what I mean. If you do the same thing all the time, your skin kind of gets complacent, just like you know, like a long-term relationship, so so you gotta, you gotta spice it up in the bedroom right Face a little bit.
Speaker 1:All right. Cancer you're sensitive and emotional nature. Uh, and that often sense. Apparently it goes to your skin. I don't know if cancers in my experience, I don't know if I've worked on a ton of cancers but if they have sensitive skin. But you're going to need gentle hydrating products that aren't going to irritate your skin.
Speaker 3:That's interesting to say that If you have a sensitive emotional nature, then your skin would also be sensitive. Absolutely. That makes sense, absolutely, because your body is going to react to different things and it's going to show up on your skin.
Speaker 1:I've also noticed that redheads have very sensitive skin and very sensitive as people.
Speaker 3:Well, that's because they're very emotional people. They're what Very emotional, emotional people.
Speaker 1:I swear yeah and I really truly believe that Interesting Like real, true redheads Because of well, my dad was a redhead redhead, and how was he?
Speaker 2:we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna say that after everything, now that's what I've had very good friends who are redheads for a couple years. One of them uh has you know, my entire life yeah, but the others just, they've just taken dumps really, yeah, wow, I'm sorry to hear that yeah, I mean, they poop a lot like emotional, emotional dumpsters.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're emotional dumpsters.
Speaker 1:Emotional dumpsters Dumpster fires yeah. All right. So creamy cleansers Again. We're going to go with hydrating serums with hyaluronic acid.
Speaker 3:When you do hyaluronic acid, the ordinary because I was like this is ten dollars right put it on and then I was like, why does my face feel like you gotta lock that in?
Speaker 1:yeah you gotta lock it in, don't forget that. Um, and then the calming effects of, like you know, a good night cream. Um, I guess it's perfect for your moon ruled self-care rituals the cancer is ruled by the moon, is it it? Yeah, how come? Like? What do you? What does?
Speaker 3:that mean I don't know.
Speaker 1:Like Capricorn, is ruled by Saturn. I don't know what everybody else is so.
Speaker 3:Saturn's are. Do Saturn's have like? Are they affected more by the tides?
Speaker 2:Because the moon controls the tides. Wait, is it?
Speaker 1:I kind of want to tell if this is a beach you said saturn.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what did you mean to say? What was it?
Speaker 3:cancer, cancer okay, I think, god, that was a wild ride I had no idea what happened I was so into. I'm like what is saturn dude? Yeah, fuck saturn. Well, here's the thing. The bands are like. You know what? I think it?
Speaker 2:was, you said you gotta lock it down. So when I heard lock it down, I heard put a ring on it and saturn has a ring so I brought it all back around, um, but uh, the cancer right there. So that's what we're talking about now.
Speaker 1:Um, so they're ruled by the moon yes and then the moon controls the tides that's true so I wonder if, yeah, that's what I'm saying I wonder if uh if I'll be right back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I wonder if cancers um are affected by the moon, it's very possible by the ocean tides. Oh, maybe, or by doing laundry, like you were saying.
Speaker 1:It's all valid. Thank you, that's good improv, actually.
Speaker 2:That's really Because I don't know.
Speaker 1:You just yes-anded it and it didn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 3:Yes-and that makes no sense. Improv or astrology, all of it, all of it. All right, leo's. Now I have heard this. Yeah, I watched like there was like a meme the other day and some chick was like at a party and dressed ridiculous and someone's like are you a leo? And she's like how do you know?
Speaker 1:and I'm like oh, because they love just like. Yeah, they are out there. They always want to be the first person that's seen and they want to be so. They want their skin to be radiant. They.
Speaker 2:They're typically obnoxious, Are they Sometimes yeah.
Speaker 1:It's hard to and they tend not to forget. I've noticed that with the Leos, that they have a long memory when you do something to wrong them in their mind.
Speaker 3:So when you meet people, do you ask them what their sign is, because you have all these anecdotes about like well, this person did this and this, but I have no idea, right, so you go.
Speaker 1:Eventually I'll ask for what their birthday is yeah and then you retain that yeah, and I'll retain that, because then it kind of gives you some insight. You know, at least I feel that it does. It's like oh okay, well, that person is this way. It gives me an excuse for their bad personality traits, basically hilarious.
Speaker 3:Okay, so leo's never forget you're off you're all off the hook, it's.
Speaker 2:You don't judge people when they're around exactly.
Speaker 3:You wait till they're she doesn't, or at least.
Speaker 2:Oh okay, it's just in general yeah, it's a good rule of thumb just don't, only when they're, yeah, when they're, when they're home um, so, anyway.
Speaker 1:So they want their skin to be very radiant, right, so they're going to need things like they give you a natural glow, vitamin c serums, brightening masks those are a little bit more activating stuff. Um, and since you like to be treated like royalty, you're going to want luxurious things again, like gold infused masks, right, and uh and serums uh, like expensive serums, and uh, things that are like very, you know, they scream glamour you know right, sorry, sorry just walk into the room and start start look at me yeah, yes, that's a leo.
Speaker 1:Okay, virgo, mom's a virgo.
Speaker 2:Um, you're a meticulous and your mom's a virgo, yes, oh no, your mom is a virgo, okay but they're very meticulous about everything and I can attest to that with my mom.
Speaker 1:Um, including their skincare perfectionists. Um, they probably already have a very effective skincare routine, but you got to make sure that it's not overly complicated.
Speaker 2:I feel like the theme throughout this whole thing is don't overcomplicate, don't overcomplicate any of it, treat every day like it's the first day of mercury and retrograde.
Speaker 1:Which it is, by the way, right now mercury and retrograde. So if this podcast is actually not being recorded, I wouldn't be surprised.
Speaker 2:Because that's the kind of thing that can happen.
Speaker 1:I still think that I'm at home and I forgot to get. I forgot, you're just telling him he's shit at his job. No, not at all, I'm telling you that like I'm sitting right here no, no, no. I'm telling you that something, something with communication or like electronics and stuff like that, just randomly happens and there's no explanation I believe it more and and more Well, I mean there's like solar flares that can.
Speaker 2:they can change bits from like ones to zeros.
Speaker 3:I mean there's like very powerful stuff From one to zero, basically a computer bit.
Speaker 2:Binary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, what. That's what I'm saying. You can be affected by what's going on in the universe.
Speaker 3:What's a? Just so well, it's just electromagnetic. So it's just the flare comes.
Speaker 2:The flare comes in and it's like from saturn exactly, and it's like shining bright, because the sun wants to be seen by itself yeah, see mercury is a leo yeah but yeah, there's like very, very intense electromagnetic storms. That can they?
Speaker 1:scientists would say they wreak havoc yeah, they wreak havoc exactly so that's why I believe in a lot of this stuff I know it sounds nuts but you know, I love making gross general generalizations as well so I love a sweeping generalization.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right so sweeping a room?
Speaker 1:yeah, I'm just sweeping generalizations. Um, all right, so you already have an effective skincare routine. Make sure it's not complicated. You're going to focus things on like clarity and purification, which definitely sounds like my mom. No nonsense. You know a clay mask maybe Are you shooting it. I like it. Something with a toner and this is funny, I read this earlier with something with witch hazel. My mom was the first person to tell me that witch hazel was something that was good for skin care.
Speaker 3:It's also good for hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, because it's tightening.
Speaker 2:Oh, really, that's a constrictor.
Speaker 1:Like a boa.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess in a sense, yeah. I don't think about boa constrictors on hemorrhoids.
Speaker 3:You don't know, they're eating a lot.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's true I wish we could cut to cow's face when you just said that I did.
Speaker 3:I have it on film. I just got it, you went.
Speaker 1:So you know, things like a clay mask which are going to pull things out of your skin. Toners with witch hazel are very cleansing without being too drying, that things are going to keep your skin clear and smooth and that's apparently going to keep your skin clear and smooth and that's apparently going to satisfy the analytical self that you use in your skin.
Speaker 2:That was Virgo. Virgo is analytical.
Speaker 1:Yeah, very analytical, Likes to keep things very clear. Perfectionist yeah, very much like. Yeah, every little thing is very, you know, has to be in its kind of, in its place.
Speaker 2:I'm like that as well.
Speaker 1:You are, but I think that's called ocd.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, you're not. What sign is that? You're not? It's ruled by. Is that a sign to deal with?
Speaker 1:things. It's ruled by drugs oh, that's right by antidepressants 6, 30, you need a oh no, I took them already oh did you tell her? Yeah?
Speaker 2:oh my god, no, I didn't tell anybody, oh, she just knows how did you know that?
Speaker 3:it was a joke, it was an improv, it was an absolute good improv.
Speaker 2:But it's on the money because that's when I shifted my time that I take my second dose of medication that is so weird I love saying.
Speaker 1:Second dose of medication yeah man I feel I feel good as an adult I know I love it okay, li Libra, you know what that means. Book what?
Speaker 2:Actually that means pound, I think Libra oh right, it's also pound.
Speaker 1:Well, that's why Libra's Libra means pound?
Speaker 3:in what Latin? Yeah, yeah, like.
Speaker 1:LBs right.
Speaker 2:And Libro means book in Italian. Well, I don book in italian.
Speaker 1:Well, I don't know how that corresponds, but the sign for libra is it's a weight, it's the scales.
Speaker 3:So they're always kind of trying to weigh things out, right. Is this, my brother? What, what, uh, what, what? What date is this?
Speaker 1:um, I don't know, will someone look that up?
Speaker 2:yeah, let me ask. Uh, I'll talk here. I'm gonna send an email to customer service okay.
Speaker 1:So, apparently ruled by venus, uh, your skincare routine, it should feel very balanced, right, balanced, harmonious, and november, uh, september 22nd, okay so october 23rd.
Speaker 3:Okay, I did date a libra once. My mom is after libra then so she's gonna be Cool.
Speaker 1:Right, that's a. I'm interested to see what they say about that. So, anyway, so you want to look for things, if you're a Libra, that hydrate and smooth your skin and enhance your natural radiance, something like a hydrating mist. What are you doing over there?
Speaker 1:I was being a Scorpion, so I thought I was doing a Scorpion like this, and then he was doing it like this and I was like that's right, and so then I was doing a scorpion, I was doing both scorpions you because you're yeah okay I'm gonna say because you're doing libra, you're doing both sides of them, yeah, yeah, okay, scorpion has two tails yeah, because this is good, because then you feel like, oh, you're a crab, which is the that's cancer, cancer which hazel, hazel. Oh, which hazel nice, I think I like the one from um.
Speaker 2:Oh God, what was her name? It was in.
Speaker 1:Brady, bunch. Oh, alice, mrs Brady. Oh, she wasn't.
Speaker 2:Hazel. Which Hazel are we talking about?
Speaker 3:Are you talking about oh yes, Bewitched Nicole Kidman, Dorothy Hamill? What's the lady's name? The old Elizabeth Montgomery?
Speaker 2:Not Dorothy Hamill. She's an ice skater. We're talking about Bewitch Hazel. I have no idea.
Speaker 1:to be honest with you, I just went along with the improv.
Speaker 3:It was fun. He'll be right back. I'll be right back, Great Okay hydrating mist Hydrating smooth.
Speaker 1:They enhance your natural radiance. Hydrating mist you know, rose water, d2o is a really good thing too.
Speaker 3:What's D2O?
Speaker 1:D2O, which is a naturally occurring water molecule, should.
Speaker 3:I write this down Sure I have a product called Molecular Mist and I think I've probably sprayed it on you before. I don't want to buy something that's water.
Speaker 1:Is that bad it's naturally occurring water molecules though I don't want to do that, okay, well then, you don't have to. I would rather some thick oil-fucking-indulgent. Taurus cream.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, Taurus cream.
Speaker 3:I'm not like water yeah, I can get that in the shower. Um so wait, you said that. Uh, that's true, I can get water in the shower. If you want to drink the water, I get that.
Speaker 2:Microplastics right here, baby, yeah you got a macro dose to micro ones. That's what I've learned so libra is ruled by venus right? Yeah, so are people who are libra. If they're men, are they more in touch with their feminine side, or are they? Is it that? Is it that?
Speaker 1:level. They could be ruled by both, because they're very balanced.
Speaker 2:Right, right right.
Speaker 1:So masculine, feminine.
Speaker 3:I didn't know. Libra was ruled by Venus. Venus Is every different sign ruled by a different planet.
Speaker 2:What's my planet?
Speaker 3:I don't know, because there's not 13 planets that are in our solar system. I thought there was like eight or nine.
Speaker 1:Oh, I don't know. I don't know the answer to that question.
Speaker 3:Okay, I failed geography, so you need to know these things.
Speaker 1:All right, Well if you know put it in the comments.
Speaker 2:You say you failed geography Mars is war?
Speaker 3:Mercury? Yeah, earth. Mercury, venus, saturn, uranus, pluto.
Speaker 2:Erectum.
Speaker 3:Erectum and witch hazel.
Speaker 2:So there's nine, there's nine, but then Pluto, they said, might not be a planet.
Speaker 3:Okay, but there's 13 star signs, so how come everyone doesn't have a?
Speaker 1:planet, then Maybe they double up, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Wait a second. There's 13 star signs.
Speaker 1:There's 13 instead of 12. How do I know this?
Speaker 3:I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:I'm only acknowledging 12 on this one. I thought there's 13. Isn't there a new one? Though? That's the new one.
Speaker 2:No, they say if you're star signs or you're a hotel, you never have a 13. That's right.
Speaker 3:It's bad luck, hey, I think we have 13's in Australia because we're not pussies like you guys 13 in Italian is a lucky number. Sorry, there's 12. Why did I think there's 13?
Speaker 2:Oh, you get 13 periods in a year. You're thinking of baker's dozens.
Speaker 1:You don't, I don't get any you can make it up for me.
Speaker 2:I'll have 26.
Speaker 3:She gets two at once.
Speaker 1:I'm a Libra, that's why?
Speaker 3:okay, um, you're gonna want to add a touch of elegance.
Speaker 1:Uh, and you want to keep your skin feeling refreshed all day. Now we're at scorpio okay, here we go so you're craving depth, you're craving transformation. Your skincare routine is likely to include products that tackle things specifically, uh, head-on, like retinoids, right, retin-a retinoids, chemical exfoliants really harsh stuff actually. I can't tell you how many scorpios talk like retinoids, right, retin-a retinoids, chemical exfoliants really harsh stuff actually.
Speaker 2:I can't tell you how many scorpios talk about retinoids yeah, yeah, it's like oh god, I gotta get, I gotta get on this thing, I really gotta meet this thing head on in your scorpio um in your scorpio men's group yeah, I have a scorpio men's group.
Speaker 1:I'm a scorpio adjacent, so you are adjacent, yeah, yeah, um, you're not afraid to get intense as a Scorpio, so you're not going to shy away from anything that's like really intense, like a chemical peel or something like that, but you just need to make sure balance it with something that's soothing, like a calming serum or hydrating mask, maybe like the one that Sarah was talking about.
Speaker 3:That's not my mom, by the way. Way she's washed her face with soap and then just puts on a nivea cream for 80 years and she looks incredible yeah, she's like almost 80 and she looks 50 so that's the best though yeah, but that could be like some of those chemicals aren't necessarily like super soothing.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:They're not I think they're. I like that shitty nivea just cream. Yeah, okay, shove that on. She passed it down, for me that's my inheritance.
Speaker 1:What's that? Oh, that's. What you're getting is a bunch of nivia yeah 13 gallons, yeah so it's pretty good.
Speaker 3:It's a lucky number again yeah, there, it is all right, sagittarius oh okay, right, uh, by the way, november 22nd is this my dad um, oh wow, my dad too, november 25th. And um, don't yawn on my podcast I'm sorry he was taking off for me.
Speaker 2:I needed more oxygen in my body so that I could be ready to listen to you.
Speaker 1:Okay, good isn't that weird though my dad and my boyfriend are, they have a lot of similarities. And that's what isn't that weird though my dad and my boyfriend are, they have a lot of similarities and that's never happened before.
Speaker 2:I've never met a woman who's like dated anyone like their, like their father it's that's.
Speaker 1:This is a first what the hell wait it should?
Speaker 3:be labeled some sort of phenomenon.
Speaker 2:It may be sandro syndrome or something oh, I don't like the way that sounds the ss is probably better.
Speaker 1:I think it's closer it's probably closer to the german german don't say that word because I feel like it's they're gonna throttle us if you use oh my god, yeah, don't even say okay, um uh yes, we know what you said.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we know I was talking about a camaro, the ss camaro that's right.
Speaker 1:All right, sagittarius, you love freedom and adventure I love it. Right, I love it skincare routine needs to be very easygoing. A multitasking product, something that does it all.
Speaker 2:Tinted, tinted moisturizer with spf and easygoing as I am, I'm not. I'm not really easy, you're not really that. I think you're easy, but I don't know you at all, so yeah, you can tell that he's not easygoing.
Speaker 3:No, I said he seems very easygoing. He does seem it. He seems it and as soon as I leave he goes shut the fuck up yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly you want a breeze.
Speaker 1:Go outside um, okay, so multitasking products are good for you.
Speaker 2:That's I like doing a lot of things at once, that's for sure you do doritos and wanking.
Speaker 3:That's what we learned.
Speaker 2:What was the first?
Speaker 3:part Ow Mercury it's never funny.
Speaker 2:It's never funny. People will tell you it is, but it's never funny, I think it's a dangerous seat for you.
Speaker 1:I think next time we have in the podcast, we're going to have you in a different area. Yeah, I guess you want that, orb. That's the planet that rules you, right there. Oh.
Speaker 3:Did you know it does this? No, I've never done that, ever Never done that before You're fucking with me, that's good improv Whoa, that was so cool. Everyone needs to watch this video.
Speaker 2:Yeah if you're listening and not watching. She's changing the color of the words.
Speaker 1:I think on the bottom. You can touch it and it'll change colors or it turns off either way.
Speaker 3:So I must have just accidentally hit the on switch with my oh no, it was on already.
Speaker 2:You just you hit the off switch, but now it's off. Oh it was.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all right blue, and then I touched it.
Speaker 2:It went red yeah, you can change colors.
Speaker 1:Yeah, changes colors. Yeah, it's a mood, it's a mood orb I gotta return that you're changing colors all right, so you want to keep your skin because you're outdoors a lot, which he is. We like to keep him protected with a lot of things that protect. I'm trying to protect the moneymaker honestly. I just imagine him in a little pram.
Speaker 3:You're pushing him around, he's like no, and you have a little sun visor thing on the pram, it's close to it. What do you do outside? We like to keep him safe we like to keep him in the shade. You want your bottle? Okay, it's got natural occurring water in it the bottle has.
Speaker 2:The bottle has a little umbrella that comes up. It's like this no matter where I am, it's, it's always covering me I love that yeah yeah, it's, I don't. You know, freedom is for people who want it.
Speaker 1:I don't want it you don't want it yeah um, which is why you're with me, okay, uh, a tinted moisturizer, oh oh. Keep your skin protected when you're on the outdoors, which and I always tell him this because he's the one that I'm assuming is probably going to be the rich one before me, because- of the moneymaker. He's got the face right? No, he's got that face, the face for money.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of people owe me money.
Speaker 1:They just don't know it yet, and so yeah, so you need sun protection and hydrating mist, which is pretty simple stuff.
Speaker 2:Why does it say a tint-based? It's for women.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's for men because it's geared for women. Yeah, that's a good point. Tinted sunscreen. Gotcha, okay, okay, because it's a combination of, like it would be, makeup, and it keeps it simple, I guess.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I see On the go, yeah, oh, and typically Multitasking and typically SPF, like those protectants are like white and they like make like full of zinc or whatever and they make your skin even, yeah, but as a multitasker, you want something like you want SPF, you want moisture and maybe some antidepressants Everything Antidepressants oh, like put them on your face at once.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great. And then, while you're at it, maybe that's great. And then, while you're at it, maybe if you could find a way to put a Philly cheesesteak sandwich in there as well, and I could absorb that through my body. That's the kind of efficiency I crave.
Speaker 1:If you put a Philly cheesesteak on your face, I don't think it would ever reach your skin.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Right in my mouth.
Speaker 2:Boom roasted.
Speaker 1:Boom.
Speaker 2:Actually we're not sponsored by the office. No, it's not.
Speaker 1:All right, this is the last one, guys. I believe it's Capricorn. Guess who it is. The grand finale? That's me, I'm a Cap. A Cap Practical disciplined, which means my skincare routine is very consistent and effective.
Speaker 2:It is Yep, you do. It is but I don't really do much.
Speaker 3:But you do appreciate, but that much you don't do. You do a lot, that's true. Yeah, do it if you're doing 10 minutes a day. That's more than everyone else you think yeah, yeah, it's not like the instagram people who are showing you their 47 step skin to care oh yeah, hell, no, no, it's not I think normal people wash their face and they put some moisturizer on and then they're ready to go. I think so it's too much.
Speaker 1:yeah, um. So, yeah, yeah, you want it to be consistent, effective. I appreciate long-term results. So, like anti-aging products, like retinol, which I just put on today, a little bit Collagen boosting serums, retinol, let's see. Oh, they won't appeal to me. Oh, it says oh, I like retinol. It says retinol and collagen.
Speaker 3:Will appeal to you Will.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you very much. I also read too fast. Uh will appeal, appeal to me, and don't forget to treat myself occasionally with a very luxurious mask or an exfoliator.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna send you that mask. I think you'll love it. We do have one more, aquarius, we do.
Speaker 1:Oh shit, oh, all right, yeah all right, aquarius, your skincare routine should be as innovative as you are. Whatever, you're likely to gravitate towards things that are eco-friendly, sustainable products. I I can't attest to any of this.
Speaker 2:I don't have very many aquarius people in my life I know an aquarius person who used to melt down plastic and put it on his face, so I don't think that's eco-friendly or sustainable it's I mean, I think it's with plenty of plastic to do it, but the skin can't sustain that no plus if you're going to sustain your sheets if you? I know him he sustains his sheets all the time you need to shout it out aquarius is giving lgbtqia plus.
Speaker 3:Yeah, is it? What do you mean? It's just that's what it's giving. It's giving that vibe eco-friendly, sustainable, cruelty free yeah, like but drives a tesla, maybe no, no drives a subaru, subaru no no. Drives a Subaru Subaru.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, all-wheel drive, all-wheel thrive. That's what they say Is that what they say. I just said it. Okay, but they should say it.
Speaker 1:Sounds good to me, all right. So you're going to look through cruelty-free brands, natural ingredients that align with your values. Okay, skin care, skincare that aligns with your values. A good hyaluronic acid serum is good. Again, hyaluronic acid. Don't forget to put the stuff on top. This doesn't say it on there, otherwise your skin's not going to feel hydrated, but you want it to feel hydrated without being heavy, and it's perfect for your. Oh, we didn't get to Pisces. Pisces, oh, my God. Perfect for your forward-thinking nature. Let's just move on to Pisces, because I don't know how many more we have.
Speaker 1:This has to be it Dreamy and sensitive that I can tell you. Skin reflects that Pisces are dreamers.
Speaker 3:Is this an air or a water? They're a water sign. Yeah, they're fish.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so hydration is the key.
Speaker 3:Oh, they're fish, Water sports oh piscine yeah. Oh, I like that. Say it again Piscine, piscine, piscine.
Speaker 1:I thought they got the word piscine On piscine. I don't know.
Speaker 2:It starts with a P for sure Piscine. Piscine is Italian, is it so yeah?
Speaker 3:Poisson.
Speaker 2:Fish, that's fish. There you go, got there in the end. Oh, that was a good one.
Speaker 1:Or is that a pastry?
Speaker 3:you eat in the pool Poultry no.
Speaker 2:Poisson? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3:He's a very nice poisson, je voudrais un poisson.
Speaker 1:Okay, you're dreaming sensitive and you're a fish and you're a to love things that incorporate very calming things, because they are very sensitive. I will say, uh, and they're very much in their head, so they need things like lavender or rose. Oh my god, please look at cat right behind sandra, what's that? Well, we're recording. Yeah, we're recording. Great, of course we're recording.
Speaker 2:I fucking hope so hey, first of all, I'll always keep a record of this. Oh, this cat's, he gets it, I know he's licking your hair.
Speaker 1:Oh no, he's loving you so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my god, come on, he smells my dude.
Speaker 3:Yeah what a little sweet baby, hi baby he just was filled with so much love that he fell over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, he like threw his body into Sandra's head. What?
Speaker 3:sign is Cal. Yeah, when was he born? March 6th Pisces he's a fish Yep.
Speaker 2:You love fish. Yeah, he loves fish, so let's hope that this is the last sign.
Speaker 1:We need things that are going to soothe both your skin and your soul which just confirms what I said.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, that's the last one. So that was it. Yeah, I know we got through it, I don't know how we did that, but we did.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I love this so much. He loves him. Oh my gosh, what are you doing? You're a good dude. Oh my God, what are you doing? You want to tell feet?
Speaker 3:feet, you have to bring, you have to go if you're listening and not watching.
Speaker 1:Please watch, go on youtube and watch how adorable he is and now he's done with you so lovely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it really was.
Speaker 1:He's like I'm gonna go now he got nervous oh yeah, we brought a lot of attention to him yeah, yeah, I like it.
Speaker 2:He's like I mean, that's what pisces do?
Speaker 1:they're just like hey, and then they said oh, the camera's rolling, I gotta get the skin looks amazing all right, we got to wrap it up because we are a little bit over time, but I felt like this was, this was fun, this was great. Yeah, exactly, fun is what it was.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's not something I normally delve too much into. I mean, when you send me stuff, I watch it.
Speaker 1:I have open mind 24 hours a day. It's open. So, uh, you gotta, I gotta, shove stuff in there yeah, it's very interesting, I find it interesting well, I picked this topic about three hours ago, so nice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you knew it was meant to be it was from 2017, baby exactly all right.
Speaker 1:Well, um, I just want to say thanks again for coming and being here on your third visit. Yeah, my fourth visit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you're gonna lose your shit why? Okay, I have a big surprise, oh my god and I wasn't gonna talk about it, but I think instead and I was gonna be like secretive about it, but I think and you can cut this out if I decide to not but I think I'm actually gonna be very public about it and like make a youtube video about what I'm gonna yeah, yeah, whoa, yeah, and I'll tell you about that there.
Speaker 1:Stay tuned for that. I'm on the edge of my seat, my pajamas, oh my god, you got to be careful. Be careful. We're not insured for that. And mark just is rubbing his eyes.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and if you want to, if you want to know what we talk about after this, we do not have a patreon sick, okay I need to start wanting um.
Speaker 1:So. Sarah lawrence, thank you so much for being with us. We love you so much and I was so excited um to have you again socials.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, thank you the sarah lawrence t-h-e.
Speaker 3:Sarah with an h, lawrence, like the college, like the sex cult, um, just instagram. You know, I have tiktok and stuff but I'm not really active. I would prefer instagram okay, and then youtube. I have a special like called plant medicine oh plant medicine yes please check that out.
Speaker 1:That's really interesting stuff. All right, well, so we'll get. Uh, we will see you guys next week and uh, this is going to come out next wednesday at 3 am and I love you so much so boom, love you action.
