Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Comedian and esthetician, Nicky Davis, along with side kick/boyfriend/assistant Sandro Iocolano, interviews comedians, actors and other practitioners as we learn about the latest, as well as the oldest techniques for staying young. We get weird but educational.
Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Phenol Peel Journey/GUEST COMEDIAN SARAH LAWRENCE
Ever wondered about the phenol peel and if it’s for you? This is the strongest peel that you could do on your face to date. It is intense. You need to see this progression of Sarah‘s face and it is wild. The chemical in the peel is so intense that you can actually have a heart attack. You definitely need to watch this episode. Sarah Lawrence always brings it, and this episode just proves it. She’s very vulnerable and talks about the reasons why she would go to such an extreme. She shows us the pictures right after the peel all the way up until the show. Like and subscribe to support us.
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Speaker 2:Hey, he'd be good at the farmer's market. There you go, you good yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, cool, oh hey. Hey, welcome back to sex, drugs and skincare. I'm Nikki Davis Jr, licensed comedian, stand-up esthetician With me, as usual. Is I like that? Don't like? Yeah, I'm just kind of positioning my teeth oh okay, yeah, you get it, I don't know where I want them are they in the right place? No, yeah, it's fine all right they're always in the right place when they're in your mouth exactly.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good point. If they're not my mouth, then I got. I got a bone to pick with somebody. Why is my tooth over there?
Speaker 1:um, if you, uh, if you're wondering, if I don't even know if it can be picked up on camera I got my lips uh blushed, which we're not really going to go into too much today, but, um, my lips are very cracked and I can't really quite smile all the way. So I'm not having a bad day, it's just I have uh crackly um lips that are healing from a tattoo.
Speaker 2:She has resting lips face that's right.
Speaker 1:Resting tattoo face. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 2:That's what it is. It's a tattoo, right? Yeah, fascinating. Let's get into that more some other time yeah, we will for sure. Um, I'm super excited about the guest that we have is a repeat guest she's one of our favorites and uh yeah, one of our favorite guests and there's a lot of information and a lot of new information and fascinating stuff. And this show, this episode, is no different.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, Is that good? Yeah, Okay, cool. I just it was so serious I didn't know I was waiting for something you know.
Speaker 2:I know I probably should just you know what I'll do from now on. I'll just at the end of anything, I'll just go, so you know that it's just a joke that I'm like serious, but you're like, oh wow, Then he farted.
Speaker 1:I do need a fart sound to move on.
Speaker 2:Hey, what's up?
Speaker 1:Come over here. So this guest also brought her cat, cow, cows over here, I love that. It's a cat cow, which is like a yoga thing. You get cat cow.
Speaker 2:Oh, cat cow. Oh, that was a cow lick. That's what he did last time. He licked my head.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's right, Because you probably had oil in your hair.
Speaker 2:I think I did. Yeah, just by being born, you are oil in your hair. Yeah, exactly, I am oil in my hair.
Speaker 1:Yeah, all right, cool. So today's topic it's the Phenol. Yeah, I just want to make sure. Uh, like I'm going, like you're gonna hear. So today's topic we're going to talk about the phenol peel. It's a peel, right? I?
Speaker 3:mean technically, technically appeal.
Speaker 1:It's a chemical peel I mean, it's, this is something I. I have seen it. I didn't know much about it, and now we do, and our guest today has gone through it, and so I was so excited to bring her on um.
Speaker 2:She's still, uh, in the process of um, of the process it's pretty cool for her to come on and like show it to us and talk to us about it she also brought evidence. Yes, receipts, as they say, as the kids say oh yeah, is that what they say?
Speaker 1:I think so, okay, sounds good yeah right, all right, so, um, without further ado, coming to the couch and we're going to say your name when we get back over here, but Sarah Lawrence.
Speaker 3:I thought this was being recorded.
Speaker 1:Yes, it was. Was that whole? Thing?
Speaker 3:recorded Because that needs to be on the outro. I'm Sarah Lawrence. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me Seamless, oh my God, seamless. Yes, how are you? Day 18. Day 18.
Speaker 1:Okay, oh, my god, seamless. Yes, how are you? Oh, day 18. Day 18. Okay, good, I'm glad you started with that.
Speaker 3:I'll move this down so that our listeners Well, the listeners should really be watching.
Speaker 1:That's true, but they want to be honest. Yeah, they should actually. So, yeah, if you're listening and not watching, go on YouTube and watch it. It's worth it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I obviously have no makeup on, I'm just covered in Aquaphor. So it kind of felt a little bit worse today. It's been going, it started, you know, crazy and got worse, and then it's been getting gradually better. And wait, should we start? First of all, let's talk about what is a phenol peel.
Speaker 1:You tell me.
Speaker 3:A phenol peel is the deepest level chemical peel that you can get. It goes down. There's three levels of skin right it. It goes all the way down, like the top level is like your surface level. Your second level is like how deep, like wrinkles and stuff are, and then your third level is like how deep scarring is like okay so, um, it's, you are asleep when they do it because it's so fucked up.
Speaker 3:They're basically they do a quarter of your face at a time, or else you can go into cardiac arrest because your body is like what the fuck is going on in the same day, or like as they're doing it.
Speaker 1:You didn't have to go back four days though.
Speaker 3:No, no, no, okay, so it takes an hour and each section is 15 minutes, so they'll do like your forehead at once and you're all rigged up to like a machine to make like it's monitoring your heart. I also had to get an EKG before I went in to make sure that I was healthy. I had to get blood work. I had to get all these tests to make sure Whoa no, I wasn't going to die.
Speaker 1:So I was on a propofol drip. It was so funny, the nurse was so cute.
Speaker 3:She goes this time I was like you know, when they go like count back to some 10 and you go 10 and you're out. She goes, here's your margarita. And I was like that is so funny and it was so cute. And as she did it and I went, I went oh, you already did it. And then out, wow, so propofol. And then I just basically woke up, obviously, and your face is just on fire.
Speaker 1:It hurts. Yes, do you feel like screaming?
Speaker 3:like immediately. You have a bobby pin right here by the way?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I was trying to find it. Where is it? Oh, here it is Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3:It's a bonus. Well, they're like you know you're still going to be, and I took two pills I don't know what they were, some pain pills, but I've got quite a high pain tolerance anyway. Plus, I've done so much stuff to my face I'm kind of used to it, and so, whilst it was definitely on fire for the whole day, it didn't bother me too much, it was just kind of like in the background.
Speaker 3:I was still just doing whatever. I was watching tv and I was like, oh, that's right, my face is on fire. And they also gave you. So they give you five types of medication. They give you like a something, or rather, to start a couple days before so that you don't have an infection. They give you antibiotics. They give you something else. They gave me valium to sleep, because it knocks you out. They gave me hydrocodone for the pain, although it didn't work.
Speaker 1:Oh, well, you can just leave those here when you go.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, yeah. My brother was like, because he just had like a hip surgery or something, and he was like, make sure you stay on top of the hydrocodone. Like, don't try to be a hero, because, like the second that you don't, the second you miss your dose, it's hard to like come back from oh whoa. And when I left, like, but I was like, well, I won't try to be a hero, but it was already too late because I left the appointment at like 9 am, I took the hydrocodone at like 2 pm, so it was already too late. It didn't do anything, oh um, but again, it wasn't like the end of the world. I was still sleeping in pain and whatever. But then you wake up the next morning and you're not. It doesn't hurt, um, but it's just like very swollen and all that. What is it that?
Speaker 1:they're putting on you.
Speaker 3:It's called phenol that's the actual name of this. I think so. So I didn't. I'm kind of weird, like if I know that I want to do something and I know, like that it feels right, I don't do a ton of research sometimes I do sometimes I do yeah sometimes I do, but like me and my brother are the complete opposite.
Speaker 3:I was like I want to do this thing. I know that it's it's what I have to do. After this 20-year journey of trying to fix these acne scarring, I found this really great doctor. He was on reddit, he was recommended, his team was so great, like his assistant, like she was emailing me back and forth. It was a fucking 11 30 pm at night and I was like this is exactly how I do business too, like I'm making deals at 11 30 at night.
Speaker 3:She was very welcoming, everything just worked, and so I'm not now going to talk myself out of it by looking up the worst things that can happen it's gonna be fine yeah you know and so uh, yeah, so what they used to do and the video that maybe you can show where they have that mask on, they don't do that anymore. So what they do what they used to do was they would put the phenol on, they would burn your whole face off and then they would put this powder on top of your face and some gunpowder yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Oh, my god, you don't like those cartoons where they just shoot him in the face.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:That was me.
Speaker 1:Takes off your face.
Speaker 3:I shouldn't be smiling this much by the way.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, I know Same.
Speaker 3:Oh, by the way, a month before you go in, I got a hundred units of Botox to try to, because your skin is brand new underneath, and so they put all this Botox with the hopes of like I'm not, you know healing and putting wrinkles into my fresh, fresh fresh face and I have to go back in another three weeks. Uh, I think it's two weeks time to get another a hundred, just to keep it still. Um, but it's not. I mean, I look fine.
Speaker 1:Let me just stop one second, just for some background this was for acne scarring and just give a quick list of the things that you tried.
Speaker 3:oh, my god wait let me yes, I will go into my sordid mental anguish, but let me so wait, that would put the powder on. Okay, yeah, then that would put, I think maybe like a bandage, or the powder would turn into a bandage or something, and then that you have you seen the video I haven't seen the video.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's crazy.
Speaker 3:It's absolutely crazy. And so then they have this mask. Seen the video? I haven't seen the video. No, okay, it's crazy, it's absolutely crazy. And so then they have this mask and the mask stays on and you can't see it because it's literally like your face is frozen. And then after two or three weeks you go back and they cut your face mask off and they literally take your old face off.
Speaker 1:I have seen that. Yes, yeah, and your new face is underneath.
Speaker 2:Like the Face off movie, like john travolta, like the twilight zone too oh, that's right with the, they put the masks on, then they become those also leonardo dicaprio, do one like that uh, the mask, the man was in a metal mask, iron mask or something I think the man in the iron mask. Robert downey jr okay yeah, we can check out imdb later um so they don't do that anymore because it's actually worse.
Speaker 3:Okay, so the history is, I got acne when I was 11, too young. It's in my family, it's hereditary. My cousin also got it like super bad. We were going to go on Accutane. You guys know what Accutane?
Speaker 3:is yes, it's called Ro-Accutane in Australia. We were going to go on it when I was 16. My parents were maintaining this whole time like it's just puberty, we should grow out of it, we should grow out of it, we should grow out of it. And we're waiting and waiting, and waiting and waiting and I never grow out of it. Was it cystic acne? Oh my God, yeah horrific. It started on my forehead and then it was all over, always had to wear a t-shirt, like it was horrible. And so, um, when I was 16, we were like, all right, well, it's, I'm not gonna, I'm not growing out of it. Obviously it's been seven years, too long. Um, let's go on Accutane.
Speaker 3:And at that time on the news there was all these news reports floating around of like Accutane, um, um, uh, makes you commit suicide. And so then my parents were like freaking out and they're like, what, what about that? And I made this. Actually, my friend told me that she went on it and then she actually did try to kill herself while she was on it. And I'm like, yeah, but that's what the acne makes you want to do, you want to fucking die. And so the medication when you take it, it makes it way way worse and so that hatred of yourself. You fucking look in the mirror every single day and you go I am a disgusting monster. And then it gets worse you probably it's horrible.
Speaker 3:So, anyway, I went on only for one week and at that point I was like playing very high level basketball. I was training every morning and every night and it it makes your bones sore, it makes your joints sore and it also all my hands were flaking off. My feet were flaking off, oh my god. Um, because you know, I had my feet in the shoes and I'm like I can't afford to do this right now with the amount of basketball that I'm playing. So I went off it and this all happened within literally like a week or two, and so then, of course, acne is still there. Worse, worse, worse. Now I'm 19 and I've already broken my pelvis. That's a joke. That's a not a joke. That's what happened.
Speaker 1:There's a story for another day, but I have a joke about it.
Speaker 3:But I'd already like broke my pelvis. I had lost my basketball career. So there I was, like well, there's nothing left for me to do now, but do this thing because I don't have to train anymore. So I'm 19 and I took it the best thing that ever happened, the greatest thing and something that I was so scared of for so long, and I've like implored so many people to do it. Like I had this relationship with this lady on Instagram or Facebook once and she was like in the Philippines or something, and I was like I'm telling you it's so fucking worth it. Like it sucks. I knew people and I would bleed out of their ears and like your lips would be so cracked that you couldn't speak and they'd be literally bleeding because you it dry. What it does is it goes inside, like the cells of your body and it dries everything. What are you talking about? The?
Speaker 1:oh, the accutane, yeah, yeah, yeah, it dries out and it messes with your glands and stuff too. Yeah it.
Speaker 3:So I got like blurred vision. I got um, obviously it was like very dry and I would like get dizzy and stuff like that, but it wasn't like that bad, considering my friend was bleeding out their ears, right oh my god but it's like I would have broken both of my arms at the same time.
Speaker 3:I would give anything to not get another fucking pimple Right. And so even the gratefulness that I still feel, washing my face and not having it covered in bumps, I will. I can't explain to you that feeling, still at like almost 40 years old, of feeling how good that feels to not feel that Anyway. So I'm clear until I am. So that's 19. I'm clear until I'm about 26. 27 comes back again, oh my god, and I'm like, okay, cool. At this point I'm living in dubai and I'm going like, oh well, maybe it's the water, maybe it's this, maybe it's that. No, dude, it's in your fucking body, and you know your body changes every like six or seven years.
Speaker 3:You get brand new cells. So my body went. Guess what bitch it's back.
Speaker 1:And I went okay, cool.
Speaker 3:So I go on Accutane again. Then I moved to America and I only had a certain amount of supply. It's so funny, the difference in regulations, because in Dubai they're like throwing it, like, yeah, no worries, here you go. In America they're like you need a pregnancy test, need a pregnancy test, we need to make sure you're not pregnant. Then we got to wait another three months before you do it, make sure you're not pregnant again, and then we can maybe give it to you. Wow, and I'm like I'm already halfway through my course, please don't make me have to stop this and restart it again. And so it ended up like the rules are so lax in dubai that I called my ex boyfriend. He went to the chemist and goes hey, any chance, I can get 40 more packets of this stuff to send over to America. And they're like yeah, no, worries, here you go. And I was like great, he sends that over to me. I finished that course. I'm clear again until literally I have to go on Accutane again for the third time.
Speaker 3:I started September 2020 in the pandemic, so this is only a couple of years ago. I was 30. What was I? 34. I don't know what the math is, but yeah, I was 34.
Speaker 1:So you're going like every like. Is it like every seven years?
Speaker 3:Well, the first one was six, seven years. And then, what is that? 27 to 34.
Speaker 1:Yeah, another seven years.
Speaker 3:So, fuck me, it's so sad. And so here I am again, 34. I do it again. And then I think it didn't work that time, or I got a couple of years out of it or something. And then I had to go back to the doctor and then I got put on this thing. It's called spironolactone. Yeah, and I had been on that before. I decided to go back on Accutane and I got.
Speaker 3:When I stopped taking it, I got two years clear and then I he's sometimes like it stays in your body for two years, so then I got to start it again. Anyway, this is a whole other story. But I go to do ayahuasca in October of 2023. And they tell you have to stop all supplements and drugs and whatever you're taking. So I stopped taking it and I was like, well, let's see. And then this is a whole other story. But during the ceremony I had two big pimples on my neck and I held on to them and I was like, if I believe this is, if I believe that you can cure cancer, like if you, if I believe I can give myself cancer, right, yeah, and I can cure that cancer myself with my thoughts and energy, and blah, blah blah.
Speaker 3:Why is that not the same for acne? Right, it's something that's in me, it's in my cells. Why can't I cure it myself? And then this is fucked. The medicine was like if you stop calling yourself ugly, it will stop. Whoa.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So it was like if you stop this like narrative that you've had since you're 11 you're like ugly and gross, then like we'll stop.
Speaker 1:It's just like so crazy wow and so it hasn't come back.
Speaker 3:But I'm also like waiting for it to have been two years since the spiron electron, but since that I have also learned to love myself that's mind-blowing, though, that it just really just took you to stop telling yourself that in order for it to stop well, isn't that crazy. I'm wait, I am waiting, like every day, like I said like I'm waiting, like what? Happens, but I am a different person than I was. But it is crazy that I was like why is this thing inside of me and I can't fucking get rid of it?
Speaker 1:and I'm 35 years old and it's not like you were asking for it at 16 or whatever.
Speaker 3:You went to 11 11, I was 11, so anyway, that's a whole other story. So so this has been a mental thing for me. Even like sitting here right now is horrible, right for my whole life lights I. I hate it so much, it makes me so uncomfortable, and so I've had this thing in my mind since I'm 11 hide my face, hide my face, don't look. You know, I don't like when people look at me and and I would um on the school bus if, like one side of sandra looked away, I go, I go. I don't like when people look at me and sandra goes. Well, some consciousness.
Speaker 2:I want to make sure, yeah, no, no, I mean it's, it's, it's it's, it's fine.
Speaker 3:I love you that one so um I remember, like when I would get the school bus to school, I would gauge which side of my face was worse and I would sit with that side facing out. And I still do things like that to this fucking day, to this day. Because there was a point where I had a conversation with a friend of mine before I got this done and he was sort of in the same boat and he had acne scarring as well, and he was like who cares? Like I got over it, like you just have to accept yourself, and like blah, blah, blah, and I was like yeah, maybe I am, maybe I, maybe this is the lesson to accept myself as I am. And like forgot what I was gonna say oh, and it shows. Oh, it shows that I've been through something, it shows that this is why I have a good personality, you know. Yeah, um, but I was like no, I, I want to do this, fuck you, I, I'm doing it. And then he has now since said like if it works, I'll do it too.
Speaker 3:I'm like fuck you, you were trying to tell me not to do it, and that you would come to do it, you know, and so um, so yeah. So ever since I have recovered from the Accutane, I have used every single last dollar of my entire life on the newest laser, the newest needle, the newest this to try to combat it. And it's so frustrating when people go have you tried?
Speaker 1:the new fucking.
Speaker 3:And so now I can be like all these lasers that you're telling me, go this deep. I've now gone this deep. And guess what? Also, I think it didn't, didn't work, so it was 10 grand.
Speaker 1:So you think, wait what I don't it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it, it it. I don't think it worked the way that I wanted it to, but did it get better? Probably is it 20 better. Maybe it did it work of 100 no but at least now I know that I tried everything. I don't have to keep looking for the next thing like I'm obsessive about it like even it felt so good.
Speaker 3:The other day I had an instagram ad come up and I was like, hey, you want to try the new fucking come into beverly hills and get that and I went, not interested in this ad because I know it's not going to fucking work and that's okay, yeah and now I've done it and I owed that to myself and I owed that to the 11-year-old version of myself to do every possible thing that I fucking could to try to combat this thing that has ruined my life, and it didn't work.
Speaker 3:And now we can die happy or easy or whatever. We can die knowing that we tried everything and here is what I've tried. So for you and it's so funny because since I made that list, I thought of fucking 10 more things that I did too oh my god.
Speaker 2:Um, now you say it didn't work.
Speaker 3:Is there like there's a certain point where it's supposed to already have given you a result that well the thing is if you have it, because people are like it's also very annoying, like this is obviously my thing, that I'm insane about, and so everyone's saying baby, they're so pretty, like your skin looks amazing, like I can't even say and I'm like your friends have annoying voices, by the way, and or the worst part is they're all like I want to get it done too, and I'm like oh, don't make me so fucking mad, yeah but but why does it make me mad?
Speaker 3:because you're just doing it to like, because you're you're already hot, you don't need it, you don't understand what I've been through in my brain anyway, yeah which, if you have been to, I said this to another girl and she had actually been through the same thing.
Speaker 3:So then I apologized and, anyway, do whatever you want, I don't care, but it's just frustrating when I'm like I know that the lady who does oh, this is crazy the lady who does my botox. I started doing botox when I was 28 because and I never thought I would doox and I did it because I had tried all these bells and whistles and lasers for so many years. That did not work and I went fuck it Instead of I'm very much, I don't want to put a Band-Aid over it, I want to fix the thing. And so I'm doing the lasers, I'm going through the pain, I'm doing the Fraxel, I'm fucking recovering, I'm red all the time, I'm spending all my money and nothing's working. And I went you know what me trying to fix it doesn't work, I will do. I'll do the band-aid, which is filler.
Speaker 3:And so I I sat in a chair for two and a half hours while my lady injected filler into every single fucking acne scar that I had. My poor mom is sitting in. She came to america to visit and my poor mom is sitting in the corner crying because she blames herself, because she's like we should have just made you get on Accutane earlier and I'm like it's not your fault. You thought I was going to kill myself. It's pretty good reason.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know, but poor lady, so I get all this filler for literally hours. And because the acne had started in my forehead when I was so young, when I was 11, I had the scarring was the worst on my forehead, and so what I used to do to combat you being able to see my forehead scars is I would. I would lift my eyebrows up and I would always lift my.
Speaker 1:I'm not actually hurts doing that because I have new skin, but I would always lift my eyebrows up because I thought that it would camouflage the scarring in my forehead, which it did do.
Speaker 3:However, it gave me very deep lines in my forehead right, and so she goes. We've spent all this time putting filler in your acne scars and, because your forehead is so overactive, you're basically eating up this filler that we just spent thousands of dollars on so I need to freeze that in your fucking face or else you're just going to eat it all up.
Speaker 3:And I was like crying and I'm like, can you give me a moment? Like I don't know what this is, like, I don't want to get Botox because you only see horror stories of what Botox is. So she leaves the room. I'm like, I'm like Googling Botox. I'm like, well, okay, well, the very worst case scenario, like it's gonna wear off. This is not like a permanent thing, like so anyway. So she does a botox, the best thing ever. It's the best fucking thing ever. The before, oh my god, I should show you the before and after of my forehead botox it's crazy, it's crazy. Um, so why did I bring that up? Oh, here's what I've done. Okay, I've had at least nine fraxels. That's what I started with fraxels when I was 19. After, because with fraxels when I was 19. Because you have to wait a year or two after the Accutane because your skin is so delicate that they won't let you do anything.
Speaker 1:And these are not cheap treatments that you're doing.
Speaker 3:No, this one, my God. So back in the day, I think the first one was $3,000. I did a course of six.
Speaker 1:I think my mom paid for it, yeah.
Speaker 3:So the first one is 3000. The second one is like 2000. Then the next ones are 1500.
Speaker 1:And that's how they get you Maintenance or whatever.
Speaker 3:Not maintenance, just going at it aggressively from the start. Okay, and so what it did, what those fraxels did, was they got rid of all my freckles, but they you know it doesn't really help there. So I've done CO2 laser resurfacing, which is a big one. Everyone is like make sure you have you tried zero two? Yes, I'm like, yes, bitch, I've had the grids on my face. My face is just like pissing out with blood. I'll try and find that photo too. Um, I've had derma roller, which is basically like a rolling pin with needles on it. Um, and I remember I was in london. I was when did I move to london? 2010? So I was what is? What was I into that? I think I was 24. So I was 24 going to this guy's house giving him 200 pounds for him to literally I would lay on his couch and he would get this thing and he was pressing so hard that the roller was going.
Speaker 3:Oh, my god into your head, into my head, into my head yeah, it causes trauma that supposedly will help to rebuild but nothing gets deep enough. This is the whole problem and this is what I realized when you look at these before and afters of these phenol peels. They get such fucking great results on old ladies because it's wrinkles basically right and because I didn't realize this, the acne scarring is deeper than wrinkles. I didn't even know that, yeah so I guess it makes sense, because it's connected to your pores.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because it's underneath, it's at the root of holding on for dear life, whereas that's just. Your skin is lax right, yeah and so when you see these before and afters of these old ladies, they're incredible because they have this sagging like old fuck off. I've been in the sun for 85 years.
Speaker 3:And then afterwards they're like 25 whereas I look exactly the fucking same because I didn't have big deep wrinkles anyway. Okay, so that's a derma roller. Then I had a derma pen, which I think it's like a. Oh, I did a derma stamp too. Let me put that in there. Is that a thing?
Speaker 2:A derma stent?
Speaker 3:I think it was a derma stamp, so they focus on a specific area and then they go ka-chang. So I had this really deep one in my forehead.
Speaker 2:It didn't work. There's a lot of hitting.
Speaker 1:A lot of hitting and punching.
Speaker 3:I've been in downtime recovery for 20 years.
Speaker 1:Okay, dermaroll, a derma pen microneedling.
Speaker 3:I also have my own microneedle machine at home. Another 12 fraxels I signed up for this place called Skin La and they, um, they do a fraxel like a different kind of fraxel combined with some laser or something. I went there every month for a year. Um, I did profound rf, I did ipl photo facial, I did subsision that's I don't know what. That is horrific. So, oh, this is actually perfect. Everyone needs to this. So this is your top level of skin. Okay, this is like in between I don't know how they do it, but they get a needle. It's so fucked up. They get a needle and they go.
Speaker 1:Oh, you told me about this, I showed you.
Speaker 2:Yeah you did In between In between.
Speaker 3:So you can see the needle going in here and going, oh, the needle going in here and going, and, oh my god, and you can hear it crunching away at your scar tissue.
Speaker 1:you can hear it and you can feel it and they're fucking.
Speaker 3:They're the ideas.
Speaker 3:They're trying to break up the tethering that the scar has on your skin and they're just fucking bashing it and you swell up and it's when you watch the like there's a video of me, maybe I'll find that video too. There's a video of her doing it on me. It's just fucking brutal. It didn't work. So then I also did the PRP vampire facial. They take your blood out, they spin it in the centrifuge. They do it two ways. They can inject it and then do a laser thing over the top where they can inject it. They can do microneedling, which is pushing it into the skin or they can inject it directly in um.
Speaker 3:I did sculptra with subsision. So sculptra not necessarily for scarring, it's like kind of like an underneath.
Speaker 3:It's not a filler, it's like a fertilizer, almost, think of it like that when you do it, you can't really see the results, but it's for longevity in the but, as she's doing it, she's trying to excess excise those scars. I did, uh, restylane injected into each scar individually. I did a bunch of morpheus eight that hurt like shit. Um, these are the ones I forgot. I've done a bunch of clear and brilliant um. I also did plasma pen, which is um, it's, it's a little, uh, it's like a hot cauterizing thing and it it creates a hot cauterizing yeah, and it burns you it burns oh my god great um that was great.
Speaker 1:It was actually great for my eyelids, perfect my eyelids okay, I did bella fill too.
Speaker 3:I applied for a casting for models with acne scarring when I first moved to amer and got it.
Speaker 1:Thank you Please don't I go.
Speaker 3:Mine's surely not bad enough for this. They're like oh, you're number one, Cool. So Belafil is a filler for acne scarring and it supposedly lasts for five years, and I don't think that it did. My friend said her last for like five months and then this just is Derma. Oh, that was for the pen, Anyway. So for like five months, and then this just is derma. Oh, that was for the pen anyway.
Speaker 3:So that's everything that I've done, so, basically non-stop, always looking for the next thing, literally the everything you've tried and there's stuff that I can't remember on there, yeah, yeah, yeah so there was even a time where, uh, my lady who does my face, she uh made me write up like it's 10 to 7. She made me write up like not a packet, but something to like submit to you know, dr oz or one of these guys to fucking figure it out yeah didn't end up going through, but anyway, that was years ago also, I wrote down here. Why is there a place called acne studios for handbags?
Speaker 3:um okay, isn't that crazy so that's everything that I've done from literally 2005. And it's all led up to this in 2025. And I went. I actually wanted to do this when I was 21, but did not have $10,000. This has been around that long. It was something I know. I looked into dermabrasion Okay, which is the same. It's not microdermabrasion.
Speaker 2:So shut up. It's harder than people making the mistake.
Speaker 3:Sandra, you get it right. This is literally. It's like a pumice stone. I didn't look into that much, but it's like a pumice stone, and so, instead of them using a chemical where they can control it better, it's literally an apparatus and they go fucking like that I had a girlfriend who was in a car accident and they had to do that to her face many times to get she was a model and then she had to get like it.
Speaker 1:I mean, they go down like basically just take off your skin. Yeah, yeah, so, so that'll be next.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay, no, that's what I was looking to do. You said has it been around this long and?
Speaker 3:yes, it has so my doctor was telling me, so the the face, the mask that I was telling you about, he said he it's funny because he was like you know, in the 90s we used to do it like this XYZ, and I'm like you've been doing it for this long. He's like, yeah, that's another reason why I wanted to go for it. He's like super lovely and knows exactly what the fuck he's doing. So, yeah, so it's all led to this and here we are, day 18. Okay, and apparently it's supposed to be this red for like two or three months, but the way that I've been going, I just I don't feel like that, but also like I I don't know and it hurts.
Speaker 3:Still now it doesn't hurt oh okay, no, I'm just not. I just don't want to be like I'm obviously I'm a comedian, I'm laughing a lot, but I'm trying like not to, and it's a little sore, it's a little tight, but um, just the aquaphor is helping this is a perfect time to watch the news.
Speaker 2:You could just absolutely cry and I'm sure to moisturize your face too the salt though yeah, yeah, all right, the salt will dry you out fuck's sake oh my god yeah, um, it's so funny to watch. You try not to. I know I'm not trying to let you because my lips are like cracking.
Speaker 1:I know um, so all right. So then did you have to spend? How much time did you have to spend indoors after you did it?
Speaker 3:oh, I'm still indoors, you're still indoors, okay yep, so I basically took the whole of january off, so I got it done. January 14th it's january 31st I've been inside this whole time. I did my first show back last night, um, and I'm basically just staying inside anyway, are?
Speaker 3:you talking about it on stage or no? Uh well, my first show back last night, yes, I talked about it. I'm not quite sure how it works. I guess the joke is that it was hard because it was a weird show. It was just a bunch of comics and I didn't realize that, and so it's hard to get them on your side when they don't know who you are and they don't trust you.
Speaker 3:So my idea is to get on stage and be like hey guys, I just had this face procedure and like, go into this whole thing about how it's affecting my psyche and then say like, and all my hot friends like oh my god, it sounds amazing.
Speaker 1:I'm like it's I'm not gonna lie. When you first said it, I was like you know what, maybe if I get there, maybe that'll be the thing, love that if you get there. But it I was like you know what, maybe if I get there, maybe that'll be the thing.
Speaker 3:Love that If you get there. But it's not just like. This is not.
Speaker 1:No, I'm a baby. I am such a baby. There's no way I can do it right now.
Speaker 3:It's not just you going. I, oh my God, I need this. It's like you have no idea what it's taken me to get to this fucking point where I have taken my face off.
Speaker 1:I'm going to pull up some pictures right now.
Speaker 2:I was going to say let's sync them up. Oh, you can put them up there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what I'm going to do, so we can see.
Speaker 2:There's a pretty good amount of pictures. You want to be able to get to some of them, at least to be able to get you know get a good story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, let's see.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you sent me.
Speaker 1:They should all be here, just in case I figured you know okay, so this, this is my new couch actually oh, let's talk about that white.
Speaker 3:Is that white or off white? It's don't ooze on it. No, it's covered in a blanket but. I got it specifically like for healing, because my old couch was like not fun and I was like, well, I'm gonna be stuck my house all january. And so I was like good for you.
Speaker 1:I like how you roll. Yeah, I know I can't stop watching tv. Okay, this was actually good for you, I like how you roll.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I know I can't stop watching TV. Okay, this was actually quite good. Obviously, go back, you're all over the place.
Speaker 1:Why don't you give it to me and I'll pull it? Okay, yeah, there you go, because I have it in the order you gave it to me.
Speaker 3:Oh, this was after. Okay, let's do this.
Speaker 2:Whoa, okay, there we go yeah, so that's a good side by side.
Speaker 1:Let's really okay that I noticed and I was like that is what it looked like at the end of robocop. When, like, the acid falls on the guy hilarious yeah, oh, my god, it's like, but it's yeah.
Speaker 3:Her skin is dripping off of her neck look at my eyelids too, which I think is quite fun oh, it looks like a very sensitive area yeah, he does a, does a little eyelid, which I was very happy about because I was looking at getting a little blepharoplasty or whatever it's called Not seriously, but like at some point. And so what he put it, and then it pulls it up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he just does a little, but it looks much worse on the phone than it does on the TV because this is like absolutely red, raw, like zombie style. You can see my skin is like peeling off yeah and then that's how good it looked like a feud. I think this was day um. On the right is day 11 and I think this is like day five. Okay, um. And then, um, I took he gave me this um antibiotic cream. It's supposed to be yeah, it looks way it looks way redder.
Speaker 3:This is crazy, because look how red it looks on the yeah, yeah, it's a tv unfortunately there's a limit.
Speaker 2:The tv is limited to show because it's not, uh, you know, the tv screen I mean the phone is way, way more crisp yeah, yeah, oh okay, this is as I'm leaving.
Speaker 3:It looks so good on the tv I know it does.
Speaker 1:And there's my friend rebecca. I'm so funny, I like photo bombs you're miserable, I want to die. And she's like, yeah, baby, I don't remember that whole car ride back.
Speaker 3:I was just like, hey, what's going? On with you, you know um whoa, this is like I'm a little swollen.
Speaker 1:We got you're very swollen. It looks like you got into a fight.
Speaker 2:We got some scabs going on oh god, what we'll do is we'll put all of these photos in the post and we'll make them all into memes so that you can see exactly what they look like and see just how like, because they're very, very red it looks red and peeling and there's parts that are like yellow.
Speaker 1:Uh oh, this is a good one. Oh, that's a good.
Speaker 3:So at a certain point they were like I, because I didn't wash my face for a week, and she's like you, don't wash your face. I was like I'm not washing my face, my skin will come off, because even when I was putting the Aquaphor on my neck, as I'm putting the Aquaphor on, as I'm taking my finger off, there is a big dollop of skin is just coming off in and I'm, I'm like, and then I have to get in the shower, oh my god.
Speaker 3:So if you ate food and you wiped your face, you'd wipe your skin off, yes, literally.
Speaker 3:And you have to be really careful because sometimes, if you like, I went to like, oh, that's right, I thought I had a piece of food, but it was like skin and I went like oh, and it was already um god and it's super painful at this point, still or no, it's not like painful but, like you, you can't even imagine how deep that is and you can still see on my forehead it's like super deep and this is all like bubbled up like a zombie yeah, the bubbles are what just blew me away, yeah it's like the worst sunburn you can ever have in your life.
Speaker 1:It's just like a like a fire burn like you were in a fire so the neck is actually.
Speaker 3:He did a it's called a tca peel. It's not. It's not the phenol on the neck, because I think it's too strong I don't think you can do a phenol on the neck yeah, it's too thin too close to the glands, maybe or something, I'm not sure. Oh yeah, we should do this probably but it's literally zombie pus guy um scab city.
Speaker 1:Oh man, wow and it's like that's the one, that's the one, I saw it. Yeah, it looks like your skin. It looks like so her skin is dripping off of her neck well, I literally done this in october.
Speaker 2:I don't think anyone would ask you anything I think people would have just been like this is like wow so funny, okay, oh my god okay.
Speaker 1:So what's underneath your chin there there's like a little. Is that just a purple from when he mocked me?
Speaker 3:oh okay, this is me thank you, it looks way worse in the actual photo but yeah, I'm putting on the aquaphor, so thick yeah, that it's it's now. It's getting warm and it's dripping down. That's why I ruined all my clothes also, oh god, this one. It looks way worse in here and this is, oh, this is when my forehead this looks like you just washed your face.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, sarah. Super raw, it's just blisters. It's just all blisters and skin peeling. This is a good one. If you are listening and not watching, you're an idiot. You need to go and watch this on youtube right now. This like look how much worse.
Speaker 3:It looks here. It looks way worse.
Speaker 2:Super, super red, whatever's pink on the tv screen it's like red, bright red dark red yeah absolutely raw, this raw.
Speaker 3:This is like I have a raw face right here. Wow, this was like the forehead. I was like, wow, he really went to town on the forehead.
Speaker 1:And that's where you had the issues.
Speaker 3:It's thick, like you can see how thick down it is, yes, but I can still see them. But yeah, what are you gonna do? This is like raw, like a fucking tomato, even on this tv. That's red that's good yeah yeah, so here we are, so I think I look pretty good right now, yeah this is not a very good advertisement for samsung, I'll be honest, because these colors should be crisp the moral is that and then, oh yeah, so the antibiotics I'm putting on putting lips up.
Speaker 1:I'm watching yours and it's making me feel so dry just watching, so so okay so then I'll, then I'll stop.
Speaker 3:So so this one was, I think, what I say day five to like day nine. And then I went on the antibiotic cream. So he put an antibiotic and a steroid cream on your face to prevent infection, just in case.
Speaker 1:But what it?
Speaker 3:did was it had a reaction and it made me go super red. So I went from, hey, I'm almost cured to, oh, I'm super fucked again, oh, no, and so then I stopped taking that and then I went back from that, back to that. Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, good, so I haven't taken that.
Speaker 1:I said why don't I just promise you not to get infected? But then this did happen. For some reason, my bottom lip got all swollen. Yeah, I noticed that your lips were very swollen.
Speaker 3:But you see how you can see that scar on my chin, that hole there, yeah, yeah. So it's like still there?
Speaker 1:Do you feel like it did anything?
Speaker 3:I mean it has to, but it's still not settled.
Speaker 1:It's not healed yet, though, but like what?
Speaker 3:you said, sandra, like when people are this is what I was saying before was people are trying to be really nice, like oh my God, it looks amazing, like and you don't know yet, you're not going to know for a few months, and like your skin's still healing. I'm like, yes, but if I can still see a physical divot, it's not going to magically go away, that thing is still there.
Speaker 2:Right. So yeah, gotcha, gotcha, you know your face well enough. You know what it looks like when it's like oh no, no, that's the one Exactly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's the other thing. No one even knew in the first fucking place. So this has been like my deep, dark secret forever and I would like never tell anyone. And this is also why I've been so uncomfortable in my own skin for so many years and like I would be darting around the place.
Speaker 1:I used to be in the light oh because you can see.
Speaker 3:No, it's not crazy. Sometimes someone would say a joke and I'd pretend that it was so funny that I'd like walk away, but I would come back and stand at a different spot in the circle. So you're conscious of the light at all times, every single thing that I do at every minute of every day is to do with that.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, it's amazing. People just don't know, by seeing somebody, what is going on, or anything like that.
Speaker 3:So and you just assume, yeah, you know somebody looks at sarah they're like, oh yeah, she's self confident, you know she's got it going on, she's tall, she's gorgeous, she's blonde, she's fucking have the brightness on my phone turned way down, because when I look at it I don't want the reflection you don't want to see back up on my face.
Speaker 2:Everybody has the version of the thing that I always did as a kid, which every time I sat down, I always pulled my shirt over my knees, so, or if I went in the water, it was always with a shirt on, and I'm like no one will ever know, and it's always a great shirt and it was just yeah, so it's so funny but anyone else is like, yeah, I don't care, and I'm like, yeah, there's like you know, there's yeah, there's stuff that sticks with you.
Speaker 3:That is important you want to hear something that's so sad, so always absolutely that same that same ayahuasca journey.
Speaker 3:So, um, this was like the final. This is. This is my final hurdle. This scarring is my final hurdle because I mean, I'm at this place, we're in this beautiful resort, we're all in love and everything's great. And we're sitting with this guy on like one of the final days and he's like so what's like your the? I can't remember what it was, but I felt this like bubbling up inside of me, like bubbling up on my neck of this, like, oh god, I'm gonna have to tell him. And I'm like well, I have this acne scarring and it makes me hate myself and I want to die and blah, blah, blah. And I was like why is it that if this, if, if I love someone else, like if I love this other person, and they had acne scarring, like I wouldn't care? Like why do I care that it's on myself, I would still love this like on someone else. And then the guy goes because you don't love yourself.
Speaker 3:I was like that's fucked and I started bawling my eyes. I was like you're absolutely correct, like why is this okay for someone else? It's not okay for me because I don't love myself. And I was like, oh, my fucking god, that was like day one of me, like trying to, and then me and him would like sit together and I would just be crying and like trying to work through it and stuff. And then I'm telling him about the tall thing, like the tall thing merged with the scarring, and I'm just like I oh, it turns out, I hate myself this whole time.
Speaker 1:Wow, you know, yeah, so that was crazy this is something you think about too, like do I love myself or do I not love myself? I'm not really sure, yeah, but everyone thinks that they do.
Speaker 3:Like years and years ago I remember when it wasn't like such a big thing and people would be like and I'd be like, oh lucky, I love myself. Like I would make a joke, like something like oh, I love myself, how sad are all these people who don't love themselves. And I'm like I didn't actually even know what that meant, right and I never did what.
Speaker 1:If you had to say it in a sentence, what would you say? It would be how do you? How is what is loving yourself?
Speaker 3:well, I never looked at myself in the mirror. Yeah, I, I would.
Speaker 1:I, I avoided mirrors but like just accept, I have no idea because I've it's hard, you can't just.
Speaker 3:It's not just a thing right like the guy was like, oh, you can just choose to do it tomorrow, and I was like, technically, yes, yeah, you could, but I think it's so ingrained in me, um, I don't know man, I I remember I said the for the. Oh my god, I said I love you. In the mirror to me for the first time that's hard sometimes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I started crying wow, and I don't know, man, it's so hard to say because you, superficially, everybody just thinks that they do, but when you really, really, really look at yourself, I don't think anyone loves themselves unless they've done some really fucking deep work, I think it's really hard to themselves, they don't really love themselves and I and I never realized that. You know, yeah, yeah, right, if every time I look in the mirror I'm like, literally, I see quasimodo and I'm like you're an ugly piece of shit. Is that me loving myself?
Speaker 2:no, just remember that quasimodo quasi is quasi, which is half. So you're fine. I'm just saying, look at the positive side of it. You can look at the motto as quasi or not, you know, it's half full or half.
Speaker 1:Whatever motto you need, I feel like we all have this, like this, like picture in our head of the perfection that we're always comparing ourselves to and we will never, ever, ever, ever get to. And accepting I'm not there, accepting I can't look in the mirror at my body, full-on, without covering myself, not gonna cry. So, um, it's, yeah, it's just like this. I have like a photo in my head of, like this is what this is acceptable and this is what you're supposed to look like, and no one else is going to love you if they don't see that if they see this and you're not hiding it.
Speaker 1:They're not going to love you, so why should you?
Speaker 3:love, but it's so funny because you have a person who loves you, so you have evidence to the contrary of that right, already, it doesn't matter, it still doesn't, doesn't register.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're learning so much therapy I can't, my face can't possibly change in such a, in such a huge like from one spectrum to the other. My face changes day to day. Or I'm like, I'm like, how, how is that possible that like? I'm like, oh man, I look like I lost weight and then, like, a couple hours later I'm like, man, did I gain fat?
Speaker 3:like whatever it is perception, it's a perception.
Speaker 2:It's constantly. That's just what it is.
Speaker 3:I'm like there's no way it's also funny like I had my old roommate. I think she was like the prettiest person I've ever seen in my life and one time and she's super self-conscious, like body dysmorphia, like I think she's so ugly and I'm like you're literally so hot and every time we went out to be like you know, everyone looks at you and she's like, no, everyone's looking at you. I'm like, okay, you're insane, so anyway, one at you and I thought how fucking beautiful you looked.
Speaker 3:That's my perception of you, because I don't see you how you see you right, and that's what I had to recognize. I think I've already been through this, but that's what I had to recognize in costa rica. I'm like I don't see myself how other people see me. Other people see me like this, and that's how I should also see me, because if a hundred people look at you and they go, nikki, I think you're so beautiful, that's correct, that it's not what you see in the mirror I'm outnumbered, you're outnumbered.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, you're outnumbered it's 101 and I don't believe him when he says it like I, I really don't, I'm, I'm like, and that's so annoying. If he's like baby, you're so beautiful and you're like, and then he's like well then I, I don't believe him when he says it. I really don't, and that's so annoying If he's like babe you're so beautiful and you're like and then he's like well, now I want to fucking tell you again.
Speaker 3:And then you're like I don't know, it's just a certain part of my body and it'll be like there's no way that he's just not trying to make me feel better.
Speaker 1:There's no way. And I had that body 13 seconds, you know, in the, you know, when I was in my twenties.
Speaker 3:Uh, you know well, I had a boyfriend and he tried to make me feel better for ages. I was like why aren't we having sex? And he was like nothing, no, it's nothing. And then finally told me it's because you can't wait. So now did you murder him?
Speaker 1:No, but now am I self-conscious?
Speaker 3:Yeah, it doesn't take much was I was. I, uh, uh, uh, uh. What's her name? That big fat black chick?
Speaker 1:um, oh, was I lizzo no, okay, I was me plus 10 pounds.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I was me plus 10 pounds, and so now I'm like, oh well, now I'm not worthy of love if I is that?
Speaker 2:is that? Is that guy like fat? Now, no, is he, is he dead? I?
Speaker 3:don't know. I think well, it's also funny, because when we're together we kind of put on a little bit of weight together. But it was like that happens normally, and I thought and I was like I still want to have sex with you, but you're not attracted to me anymore. But then I'm also like or are you not being honest with yourself? That you don't feel good in yourself.
Speaker 3:So it's this whole thing. Now you've given me a complex of like oh well, I have to be a fucking supermodel if anyone's ever going to have sex with me. It's just like fuck.
Speaker 2:They always say if you're falling down, always if the person that you love next to you take their knees out with them, because you need to have company on the ground.
Speaker 3:You know that crab metaphor Crabs don't ever let another crab get out of the bucket.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they always pull the other crabs down.
Speaker 3:If one crab's escaping, they pull them back down.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, wow, we live in a world of crabs.
Speaker 3:More crabs Wow.
Speaker 2:And when crabs die, they are you know. When they die they give off like a some kind of a pheromone or something that comes out of their bottom, whatever their body. I hate crab. I was watching Deadliest Catch and these are some things.
Speaker 3:You learn that and do you watch Deadliest Catch? So comfy on your couch, I'm so glad I'm not. I'm so not free dude my Ugg boots on. I'm like.
Speaker 2:I think I could do it for like a second and I'm like no, absolutely not for a hundred grand in two months.
Speaker 3:No, still couldn't do it. No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't last the two months.
Speaker 2:No, my I honestly just like doing the dumbest stuff editing a video for 10 minutes, my, my, back hurts.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like I couldn't imagine like picking up video.
Speaker 2:Picking up anything, or having to be awake that long, or being around this, the smell of those people forget about it too.
Speaker 3:Just constantly wet, you can never get dry, you can't really. Is there a shower there like? What's going on. The elements are just beating you down.
Speaker 1:None of them look happy at all, so that tells me something you would age 200 years in that I want to go back just really fast to like the body image thing and I have a question and I don't know if anybody can answer this, but I know that when in my heaviest times I feel like I don't know if anybody can answer this, but I know that when in my heaviest times I feel like I don't want to have sex as much because I don't feel confident, men, I feel like it doesn't seem to matter. A man can look at himself and still be like, yeah, all right, I'll try, yeah let's do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what the hell, let's try.
Speaker 3:It's funny Cause they always tell you like the girl who's like self-conscious, like that guy literally doesn't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:he's like I'm about to have sex with this girl, that's awesome yeah, he's not like oh she's fat, he's like this is I still don't believe it, but yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah this is another episode for another day. We can talk about buddy stuff yeah because I was a model for like a few years and they were like telling me I was fat every 10 minutes.
Speaker 2:So that's so fucking crazy.
Speaker 1:Every time you're here we have to start another one. That's a teaser for the next one. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:When.
Speaker 2:I was 21,.
Speaker 3:I lived in China and they told me I was fat and they stopped giving me pocket money. They said we're not going to pay you anymore until you lose weight. So funny.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:Okay, join us next time.
Speaker 2:Skin drugs and rock and roll we're sponsored by china.
Speaker 3:Yeah, what'd you say? We're sponsored by china. Yeah, oh, tiktok's great yeah zang, that's, that's.
Speaker 2:That's. That's the way. That's the way to outro yeah oh, my god.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much for sharing all of us with us, and I am, I am fascinated and I honestly am just. You've made yourself so vulnerable every single time you come.
Speaker 2:Thank you for sharing that's. It's huge to be able to. You know, it just opens it up Cause you're like, oh wow, that's I wasn't going to tell anyone about this.
Speaker 3:I was literally going to sit in my in my house for two months and not tell anyone, and then I was like fuck it man. And so I've been taking a before and after, doing a little video in my kitchen every day. And I'm going to put on YouTube because it's like, what are we doing if we're not telling people?
Speaker 1:People can relate to this so much.
Speaker 3:Only one person commented on that video and was like this isn't funny.
Speaker 1:So sorry.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God, All right.
Speaker 1:Where can people find you on the socials?
Speaker 3:sarah lawrence and everywhere, right everywhere, pretty much okay, cool yeah, instagram tiktok and youtube the sarah lawrence follow stara.
Speaker 1:She's a real deal, man, pretty cool. I've cried, texting you before you what I've cried texting you like it. You what I've cried, texting you Like it's just I don't know. Just like you know, because we're just, you're just so real and like don't make me do it Okay, Next time we'll cry and next time we'll be like we're fat. No, we're just eating.
Speaker 3:Cheetos, the whole episode. That sounds like fun. Oh my God, literally I'll bring McDonald, mcdonald's or something.
Speaker 1:Oh, we found a new. Oh, we'll talk about it later. Big McDonald's yeah.
Speaker 3:So she's like I'm fat.
Speaker 2:And then we found a new way to put two Big Macs together, oh my God, with a donut in the middle.
Speaker 1:Oof, all right. Well, this will be out next Wednesday actually Great so at 3 am and we will see you guys next week. Thank,
