Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Comedian and esthetician, Nicky Davis, along with side kick/boyfriend/assistant Sandro Iocolano, interviews comedians, actors and other practitioners as we learn about the latest, as well as the oldest techniques for staying young. We get weird but educational.
Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Sex, Drugs, and Skincare: The 100th Episode Extravaganza
Our landmark 100th episode takes a hilarious and eye-opening journey through the strangest beauty treatments from around the world! With special guest hilarious comedian Johnny Skourtis bringing it, we dive into beauty practices that sound more like dares than spa treatments.
From South Korean snail slime facials to Japanese bird poop treatments, Chinese fire facials that literally set your face ablaze we explore beauty's bizarre underbelly with equal parts fascination and horror. The conversation takes particularly interesting turns when we debate which treatments we'd personally be willing to try.
Don’t miss it and subscribe and watch this beautiful podcast on our Sex, Drugs And Skincare YouTube channel!
You are listening to, watching, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling sex drugs and skincare. Like and subscribe. Hey, welcome back to sex drugs and skincare. I am Nikki Davis Jr. What are we about to say? You let your mouth start moving.
Speaker 2:No, I just want to give a beat.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to make sure I didn't like just start talking and then make it awkward for editing. No, you're fine, but now you are, oh god, boom all right boom.
Speaker 2:We've been watching the office for like 17 years, a long time, yeah how are you? I'm fine. How are you?
Speaker 1:good, you look cute, johnny. Uh, oh, sorry, our guest who? You don't know this, I know every guest on here. It could be anybody, though exactly.
Speaker 2:We always tell them we're not going to say your name, we don't say the guest name even though it's printed out, even though it's printed out. Yeah, we encourage the audience to read yeah, that's a really good way. Anybody can hear stuff, you know but seeing it and reading it, that's a completely different thing we can get them to believe it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, by the way. Speaking of which, uh, please subscribe, like and subscribe. It's for free, just do it. You don't have to even watch it starving to death.
Speaker 2:We have no the subscription. Every day I have subscription pains because, like I haven't had a subscription, I haven't eaten a subscription in a long time. So the more people subscribe, the less hungry we'll be yeah yeah, so subscribe it. You don't have to like it, but just like it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just do this with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's pretty cool. That's a good sales pitch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you like that. Yeah, what do this with it? Yeah, or what you said.
Speaker 2:Subscribe and do this and then go. It's free Because you don't, you know yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how are you? Oh well, thanks for asking. I'm doing well. I feel pretty good. I didn't have to do very much today, so it's a good day. That's nice. Yeah, that's very nice. I was just chilled before we got here.
Speaker 2:You had one of those days where you had plans and then, when the day comes, you're like ugh, because Because everybody does that At least that's what I do, I know Make plans and you're like, with the best intentions. Then the day comes and you're like man you know, that kind of thing. But you had your plans canceled on you before.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had a 10 o'clock client. This is yeah.
Speaker 2:That's such an awesome feeling that when you're about to be like I don't know if I can, and then somebody else is like, hey, I can't come in, and you're like, oh, are you serious? I was looking forward to it so much.
Speaker 1:I was looking forward to getting up early and being in pain.
Speaker 2:So then you had a late morning, so it's fine I did.
Speaker 1:It was very late. Well, do you know what episode it is today?
Speaker 2:It's a very special episode it's 100.
Speaker 1:Episode 100. Yeah, yes.
Speaker 2:I've never done 100 of anything at all.
Speaker 1:No, nothing. No, not women. Oh, that was a long pause. No, that's okay, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I don't know the number. Why would anybody keep track of numbers?
Speaker 1:People do all the time. That's like a thing.
Speaker 2:Those people I mean. If you keep track of numbers, then that's your own thing.
Speaker 1:You don't know your number, really. No, I don't. Oh, that's so sexy, that's really sexy that you don't even know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't count how many glass of water I've had.
Speaker 1:It's not quite the same, but yeah Well.
Speaker 2:I guess yeah. How much is left in the world? Is there more water or sex left in the world? I think it's sex, Is it yeah?
Speaker 1:I was just thinking that the other day. I feel like there isn't really a water shortage. They're just telling us this.
Speaker 2:They're probably making it in a back room or something and they're just like but they don't want to tell anybody about it. And then they'll start charging people for it. Some airlines charge you for water. You're like, no, can I go to the bathroom and give me a cup.
Speaker 1:Like no, I'm sorry, you have to buy a bottle you have to go to the bathroom and get the bathroom water out of an airplane. Yeah, I'm not even sure what is if that is water that comes out?
Speaker 2:it's probably not.
Speaker 1:It's probably some polymer it's just, yeah, it's probably like a plastic, polymer bubbles and polymer yeah, bubbles and polymer that sounds like the the new food pyramid yeah, yes
Speaker 2:okay well, I'm gonna allow you oh shit if you don't mind yeah, I don't mind what is it to bring in uh, to introduce who we have coming today.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, I will absolutely introduce today's guest. Today's guest is someone I met on the side of the road 10 minutes ago. Oh wait, look over there. Uh. Today's guest is somebody I've known for, uh, a long time and it's felt like it's only been a weekend, because I love this guy so much. He's so funny, he's a fantastic actor, he's a hilarious comedian, he's a great writer, he knows how to wear cowboy boots like nobody's business, wow, yeah, and also this hat that I have right here is from a boxing match he took us to, I don't know, like 12 years ago, something like that for Oscar De La Hoya, and so this hat has been through the wash seven times and it looks like it's brand new. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it was for free.
Speaker 1:You got off track a little bit.
Speaker 2:I didn't get off. Oh, I saw the hat. Yeah, I thought I was going to introduce the hat. I'm sorry. Okay, all right. So today's guest is a very, very good friend of mine, the hilarious and fantastic Johnny Skordas.
Speaker 1:Johnny Skordas, johnny Skordas Yay.
Speaker 3:Whoa, how'd you do that? Dude? Hi, how you doing, how you doing.
Speaker 1:I'm doing okay much. I appreciate that. Yeah, thank you guys for having me. Yeah, man, thanks for being here to have you. This is cool, yeah, but well, this was fun.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all right, see you later. Yeah, you have such a great face. You really do. You have a fabulous face really. Uh, I appreciate you saying that.
Speaker 1:I don't know that I feel the same way, uh well, I think we all kind of feel like that about ourselves.
Speaker 3:I don't know. There's just a lot of jaw face.
Speaker 1:I love that movie, jaw face.
Speaker 3:I don't know I look at like some of my relatives, I was like I look like that guy really okay.
Speaker 2:I felt like that too. My family was kind of like ah okay, you know, like, look at everybody because everybody's got a face that it's just a room full of eyebrows. I'm sure it's the of like ah, okay, you know, like, look at everybody, because everybody's got a face that they all have.
Speaker 1:There's just, it's just a room full of eyebrows. Yeah, I'm sure it's the same with yours. Yeah, no, it really is.
Speaker 2:It's just all eyebrows, yeah eyebrows, and everyone worked directly under the sun for 50 years. Yeah, so yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But you really do thank you yeah and you don't even have like bad dark circles or anything like that.
Speaker 3:Really, yeah, I've been worried about that a lot lately, it looks good just sitting there under blue lights looking for jobs and stuff, staring at the computer at like three in the morning yeah yeah I think it's genetic more than anything else.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Unless like a poor diet, and alcohol have something to do with it.
Speaker 1:Do you like follow like you're from where's your family from?
Speaker 3:My dad is Greek and my mom is from Nicaragua.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 3:So I think that's where I get this tropical thing going. Mediterranean as Sandro. Yeah, what's that? Stas e facce, stas e razza, yeah yeah, yeah, one face, one race.
Speaker 2:I saw a movie with Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson when they played those two police Highwayman I think Something like that On Netflix.
Speaker 3:Oh, I didn't see.
Speaker 2:Well, it was Kevin Costner. The whole time he was doing a gravelly voice, you know, kevin right and he had a handkerchief with him and he kept just doing this. Every two seconds he was doing this and I was like I know what that's like. Yeah.
Speaker 1:What is it?
Speaker 2:He was just kind of dabbing his mouth and sweat and then after a while I think it became something like an affectation, the character, just I was going to say they left it in there.
Speaker 1:It's so weird he just kept doing it. It's part of his thing. Every time they cut to him, he's like yeah. He refuses air conditioning.
Speaker 3:Profusely sweating also helps with the.
Speaker 1:With the skin.
Speaker 3:Yeah, detoxifying and everything.
Speaker 1:Absolutely Human sauna.
Speaker 3:Medium pores and this and that it just runs down my face and I just blend it in there and it ends up being all right but no, now I try to take care of my skin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you do.
Speaker 3:Well, you hit your girlfriend there's a lot of epidermal stuff yeah yes, I always appreciate uh, this is um.
Speaker 1:I have not used these, so I'm super excited they're from. These are from sephora. It's a purifying and clarifying one, moisturizing and glowing and skin perfecting and radiant. Oh, I'm interested in that with blueberry extract.
Speaker 3:Are you kidding me? That sounds good. Do you ever use these, johnny? I have as like jokes, yeah. You know, like she'll come home and I'll just have one on my face.
Speaker 2:Like hey, surprise, that's like $70.
Speaker 3:It's a surprise on you, but you know from time to time I do do stuff for my skins.
Speaker 1:What is this one? Cryo rubber. And it looks like he's holding like a pen in his mouth.
Speaker 3:It gets like hard, like rubber kind of deal. Oh, okay, I guess you peel it off.
Speaker 1:I don't know. Oh, that looks fun. Oh, definitely it's this. This is collagen in it.
Speaker 3:Thank you for bringing these I don't know, like if they're natural or whatever, if that's like a thing that you do or whatever.
Speaker 1:But it is. But you know what? I don't care, I'm gonna use them anyway. You know, hell, yeah, hell yeah. Well, um, today, I don't know if you're what's today's show about? Oh, what a great question, Sandra. What?
Speaker 2:is today's show about it is.
Speaker 1:I'm going to talk about five of the world's weirdest beauty tricks.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Now what would you say is like a weird. What would you classify as weird? Something unconventional or something that is banned in certain states? Is it something you know? By that states I mean also mean like you know states like you know Russian states, like any kind of states the.
Speaker 1:Soviets. Yeah, I would say weird to me means something that seems like it might be kind of disgusting, okay.
Speaker 2:I understand, all right, okay.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm sorry. Now I'm wondering if Soviets just put their face in the snow.
Speaker 1:Oh right, Just to close their pores.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's probably why.
Speaker 2:It makes sense, it makes sense, especially if you're blasted drunk Not that I've again growing up. Every movie I saw where somebody who was Russian in it or somebody from the Soviet Union. They were completely hammered and I think you know that's what Hollywood kind of did. But I think that smashing your face into a snowbank it's got to be refreshing and sobering you know exactly, it's very sober, especially, you know, if you're living in russia so five weird things, was that huh?
Speaker 1:what did you?
Speaker 3:say, wait, what like what? What else would you consider like one of a what's a weird thing that you do, that you guys do?
Speaker 1:oh well, that's a good question. What is a weird thing that I do or you do you? Don't do that many weird things, do you?
Speaker 2:I don't know, you just turned red, are you okay?
Speaker 3:no, did you. Are you embarrassed if?
Speaker 1:you're listening and not watching. Sandra might be having a something yeah, I, I um.
Speaker 2:Well, what happened was I? I'm wearing plastic. This is a made completely thanks amazon, this is yeah, this is made completely of like polymers and yeah and polyesters, just there, just there is no polyester worm, it's just a guy in a lab making a bunch of shit yeah, but I don't think I do anything kind of like super weird, I don't know do.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you do anything super weird.
Speaker 1:I don't think so I mean, you know I massage inside the mouth, so some people that's weird.
Speaker 3:I think that's weird. Okay, no, like, how do you do that?
Speaker 1:I take gloves and get consent and then put my hands in.
Speaker 3:Oh to other people. Yes, I mean I can do myself too. But I mean that's what I do for a living is I do facial massage.
Speaker 1:You stand-up esthetician?
Speaker 2:yes so many.
Speaker 3:That's the best reaction ever yeah, hyphens, yeah, I don't know if I do something stupid or weird.
Speaker 2:Uh, I don't know if I, if you leave me I mean leave me alone long enough I'm gonna find something weird or do something that I definitely would be like. Oh man, people saw how I ate this burger. Or people saw how I rarely really wash my silverware after I use it, or the dishes. If it's just me and Nikki. Sometimes soap makes an entrance, we just give it a little massage. Yeah, just a little massage.
Speaker 1:The other day he goes oh, this spoon has a nice glaze on it. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3:I guess I'm really deliberate with my stuff. I will notice a hair here growing out and be like that son of a bitch hair.
Speaker 1:And you pluck it yourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have to, I do. I get my eyebrows threaded because you know, wow, what is that like?
Speaker 1:That's a weird thing.
Speaker 3:It's an interesting reaction from the people who work there when I walk in, Because they're like is the chair going to support this man's weight as he spreads himself out on it?
Speaker 2:Do you ever walk in there and go nice threads, Just in case they don't know?
Speaker 3:No, if I don't't, it gets out of control. So yeah, I guess that could be like a weird, like a thing that's considered.
Speaker 2:I mean I used to get mine uh waxed and I felt like that was kind of weird too, but threading is very interesting who?
Speaker 1:who waxed your eyebrows? When I was living in uh, florida did you know someone that was, oh, my mom, my mom and then, uh, you know, ex-girlfriend with you know wax was she an esthetician?
Speaker 3:no, okay did someone tell you like you should try this out um or were you like?
Speaker 2:maybe I should. I think I kind of did it myself. I was kind of like no, I want to like, let me just uh so you know, get rid of some of the hairs or whatever, um, and then they just stopped growing back yeah, that's like after they kept pull pull, they get stuck. Yeah, you can't keep doing that, so, but uh, yeah, I guess it's kind of weird, I don't know we got four of the best eyebrows in hollywood right here in this room.
Speaker 1:I think so yeah I mean mine are just kind of like you know they're whatever they're. Alex, those are perfectly shaped well, but they're not dark, those are like jealousy Like I'm upset.
Speaker 3:I'm upset, like how I was saying about you can wear whatever the hell you want and you look amazing.
Speaker 1:Always.
Speaker 3:It looks like you put like 10,000 hours of thought into this before you came here wearing this. But I don't know if that's the case, but whenever you're wearing it it's like this motherfucker has like so much style.
Speaker 1:He has good style. It just comes natural and you're the first boyfriend slash. Whatever Sherpa that I have ever had that has had style. Not had to ask me 50 times what shoes to wear, or I had to go out and buy their clothes.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well, I like to limit it by just having usually one of everything. And I don't mean like one of everything. I mean like I have one pair of shoes that I really wear and another pair of shoes that I use to kick around stuff and whatever Right, so it makes it easy to put on shoes. When you only have one pair that you really wear put them right in.
Speaker 1:You match the things around it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know what the hell I'm a complex being All right.
Speaker 1:Well, let's talk about some other complex things.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:Okay, this one's from South Korea. I just I had investigated these today, so because I keep wanting to put, I put in like more and more like weird, weird, weird, and then it just throws back things like cupping and like I already know about that. Yeah, this one is snail, slime facials. South.
Speaker 2:Korea and Japan. Okay, snail slime.
Speaker 1:So what is? They take snail mucin and they apply it to the skin, which is also something they do in Italy, mm-hmm, my cousin picked a leech up and put it on her face.
Speaker 2:Remember? Or was that a snail, a slug or a snail? It was a snail. Yeah, it was a snail. Yep, yeah.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, it's hydrating and it's anti-aging, apparently, and some of the treatments with these things actually involve live snails crawling on your face. Yeah, wow, would you let somebody do that to you?
Speaker 3:No, I have a thing about snails.
Speaker 1:What is the thing? Fuck me.
Speaker 3:I don't know. Like when I was a kid, my cousin was a jerk and we had these neighbors and we lived in these apartments in North Hollywood and he didn't like them. So we took a bunch of snails that he grabbed, you know at night, threw them in their car to like, upset them and uh, I remember waking up the next morning and seeing just snails everywhere all over this freaking car and never did it cross my mind I need to put my face in those snails.
Speaker 2:So like you know, get a good glow going.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I associate them with like bleh. And being a dumb kid, you know I would make like potions or whatever to try to kill snails all the time.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:This is a very deep issue with you. You're making potions to kill a specific part of the wild.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just a dumb little kid.
Speaker 1:No, that's very smart actually, what did you use? What ingredients?
Speaker 3:Oh, you know, it started with salt.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then you know oh, I'm going to put palm olive on this motherfucker.
Speaker 2:Wow, see what happens.
Speaker 3:And then I just turn it into different potions, Just to see you know whatever. Like in a Frisbee upside down. I would take the snails and throw them in there and have like a snail friggin.
Speaker 2:Yeah, genocide, genocide. I was going to say genocide Snailside.
Speaker 3:Oh my God.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I don't know. Snail side, oh my god. But uh well, this, this explains so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it does. It really does. Um, all right, what's your? Oh, yeah, what's a childhood like? What was this association with snails? Yeah, did you think snails? Yeah, that's the first question.
Speaker 1:Yeah all right. So this one's weird, it's from japan bird poop facials, it's known as the geisha facial, the geisha face, geisha facial.
Speaker 2:Okay, like the, you know, like the geisha. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And they use powdered nightingale droppings oh my God. Wow yeah, they contain a lot of natural enzymes and exfoliate and brighten the skin up.
Speaker 3:That's hysterical, Can you imagine?
Speaker 1:like the guy who, like has his like geisha wife, wife, and it's just like you know you need the bird shit on your face. She's not even a geisha.
Speaker 3:No, you know her name's janice she just like sits there and works in like a data entry firm. Yeah, not tonight, janice wait.
Speaker 2:So I just picture, like so they take it and they take the bird poop and they smear it on the face or whatever. Maybe they tried different birds yeah, right, yeah, why just?
Speaker 1:when did they settle on a nightingale?
Speaker 2:yeah, I don't know, I think maybe somebody would be rich enough to like be able to afford where, like they pay enough, so they go inside a room like a sanctuary and they just sit there and the bird and the live bird just completely shit on him. And there's just crackers everywhere, so they have plenty of fuel.
Speaker 1:You know, someone's going to get off on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and someone's like, ooh, I have the last condor on Earth. I need him to shit on my face. You know, and it's all in the, because people are vain. It's vanity.
Speaker 3:How do you get a condor? I got a seagull.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're the guy next to him. You don't have the guillotine member. A pelican ship must be just you know.
Speaker 1:You just have to have 40,000 hummingbirds come by.
Speaker 3:A little hummingbird just getting, that'd be cute, though Like 40,000 hummingbirds I'd be like, oh, a bunch of grains of rice-sized poop just pelting you in the face.
Speaker 2:I'd do it. Yeah, what the hell. You only live once you have bird shit on your face. It's good luck. It's a good luck situation. Yeah, it is a lot of luck.
Speaker 1:I had that happen to me on two different I think it was. I can't remember, because your memory starts to get weird as you get older. You remember things that didn't happen, or in a different way, but you remember things that didn't happen or in a different way, but I know that I've been shit on at least twice on my head before Once on a field trip with a bunch of kids, so that was cool.
Speaker 2:Everybody was super cool. Were you a student or a chaperone? I was a student. I was scouting for boyfriends With bird shit on you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, with bird shit, and then I forget what happened the other time.
Speaker 3:Did you ever think like maybe I should wait? You know, rub this into my face.
Speaker 1:Never, never, did I ever think that I only wanted to just hide, just hide. Where does a girl?
Speaker 3:with a poop on her face.
Speaker 2:Go what is it pee and poop? Do birds they?
Speaker 1:do it two for one right. I think maybe they do it all at once they got places to be.
Speaker 2:I wonder if a bird shits and then all of a sudden say whoa that was?
Speaker 1:and then it just takes off like even higher in the air, but for birds everything is black and white and everything's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my god, yeah because they're poo.
Speaker 1:Get it because poo okay uh.
Speaker 2:The next one is from china a fire facial and a really good facial or like it's like, yeah, it's fire, it's a treatment called who lao and, if I'm saying that right, who leo, who lao?
Speaker 1:it involves, uh, placing alcohol, alcohol, soaked cloth on your face and then you set that puppy on fire, for it says a brief moment. What is that I mean?
Speaker 2:I guess, as long as you could take it, I need to put on there an exact brief moment no more no less science so that? So that means, because, like the alcohol, the, it'll just burn the alcohol first, before it burns any of the I think it's called skin graft oh right, that's what you're gonna need afterwards.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I know like this guy like leaves you alone for like 10 seconds it's getting a little warm in here.
Speaker 1:This is 14 moments.
Speaker 2:This is a really weird uh, skin care trick. What is skin graft?
Speaker 1:oh okay I don't think I. Oh, this is. This is interesting. Oh, you got the next one, you're ready.
Speaker 2:He's already ready.
Speaker 1:I this is a okay, bull sperm hair mask finally yeah okay, right, yeah I was waiting for you guys to get to
Speaker 3:this one yeah talking about my, my cowboy boots and everything. Can I do this one?
Speaker 1:well, you have to go to england apparently to do it, but um. It's a high-end salon treatment that um uses bull semen.
Speaker 2:Obviously they mix it with a protein rich, not the cock semen, what not? The cock semen obviously they mix it with a protein rich. Not the cuck semen. What not the cuck semen? The bull semen? No, the bull semen.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, not the cuck hold oh, what's the cuck hold as opposed to the bull?
Speaker 2:the cuck, the cuck hold is the, the one that's like hey, gentlemen, come in here and help yourself to my wife right, and then there's the bull. The bull is the one that's like hey, I'm not a cow, I'm a bull, and he has sex with the woman.
Speaker 1:I love how Eric I mean Alex is like going in like this, nodding his head.
Speaker 2:Like yeah, that's it, Nikki, yeah, and then obviously that's how we get to the bull's sperm hair masks.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, who goes out and gets this bull sperm? Alex wants to do it.
Speaker 2:Producer Alex says he's volunteering Podcast producers.
Speaker 1:everybody knows they like bullsburg. That's true, they call it BS. Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 3:Seriously, though, there's got to be a pen full of bull. How do you think the plant feels about this? The what, the plant that they mix it with? That's a really good point. Oh my God, that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a protein-rich plant whatever that is, I love the sun.
Speaker 3:This is sun, this is nice. I like chlorophyll and you know all this photosynthesis the bull's just walking by.
Speaker 1:It's a bull coffee. It's a oh my god it is it's a bull bullseye, yeah, oh my god, that's so good.
Speaker 2:Oh, my god what so now I could this is something I've seen. Now I know things like kind of catch on after a while, like now the thing is beef tallow right.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Beef tallow. People are putting the fat of the beef on their face and it's supposed to help with putting. It shows that science shows that if you put beef tallow on your face, it adds beef tallow to your face, beef fat to your face.
Speaker 3:But now they have.
Speaker 2:I saw a Shake and Shake. I saw a sign that says they have beef tallow fries so now the new thing is like they're going to be cooking with it now. Yeah, so is the bull semen hair mask. Is that something that's been taken off?
Speaker 3:you think this is just them getting us getting back at us for, like, eating steaks and shit. You know, oh, in england it's like oh, you're gonna like, chop me up, turn me into a delicious beef wellington, not today. My friend, maybe.
Speaker 2:Maybe these are like the Chick-fil-A cows that are advocating for the Bulls.
Speaker 1:Oh right, oh my God, yes, you know.
Speaker 2:Chick-fil-A cows who can't spell English?
Speaker 3:well, oh, it's in their hair. Yeah, it's in the hair. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, either way I mean some's going to get on your face. Yeah, in my experience, people don't want it in their hair.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's a good.
Speaker 3:You were talking about your numbers earlier.
Speaker 1:Exactly, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you have a luxurious head of hair. He does, you both do. Actually, you both have beautiful your hair looks a little too shiny, whoa See.
Speaker 3:I've been spending a little too shiny. Whoa See, I'm going to spend a little too much time at the farm myself, you know.
Speaker 2:I think you're petting this. You know, I got nothing. I got nothing.
Speaker 1:Would you ever do it?
Speaker 2:The bull semen facial yeah.
Speaker 1:No, it's not a facial, it's a hair, the hair thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would do it, because I mean, like you know, whatever.
Speaker 1:That's a good point. Yeah, Because I think they use beef tallow.
Speaker 3:They use beef tallow as well. Yeah, beef semen, beef semen, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I would do it. I mean, you know, if somebody gives me for free, I don't think I would pay a good amount of money for something that someone. How do they get this semen?
Speaker 1:That's what I'm asking. How do they get the sperm?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:A lot of happy bulls, just like chill, relaxed bulls Just taking naps yeah.
Speaker 2:And then, like some of them, don't get picked, they're like this is bullshit, you know.
Speaker 3:And they're like oh no, that's the next treatment, that's the next facial.
Speaker 2:Bullshit facial. It's going to be the next one. I'm sure it's coming. I'm sure it's coming. Get it, it is coming. This is some good improv.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, we don't have too many things to talk about, so you can improv as much as you want. I wanted to make a short list today, bull sperm hair masks.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Do you have anything else?
Speaker 1:you want to add about the bull sperm.
Speaker 3:I don't know what is this supposed to do. This probably seems happy. It says it strengthens and adds shine to hair.
Speaker 1:Protein makes your hair stronger, but if you do too much protein then it actually will make it. I think kind of crispy.
Speaker 2:Oh okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but protein makes it good, and there's protein in cum yes, I know, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't mean to say that so loud.
Speaker 1:We're putting things together.
Speaker 2:How can you make a point if you don't say the point?
Speaker 3:I get what you're saying. No, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, you connect the dots, that's really, sometimes you have to spell it out for people that's what we're doing here we're helping everybody out oh my god yeah, all right, I don't know how many we have, but number five uh is beer baths not as disgusting.
Speaker 1:this is a nice way to finish off the day after your, after your bull semen hair mask. Um, some spas, I guess in the Czech Republic are offering beer body facial baths. Okay, full body beer, that's a hard one to say. Full body beer baths.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, Full body beer baths.
Speaker 1:Full body beer baths Full body
Speaker 3:beer baths.
Speaker 2:Tonight is your night, bro. One more time. Yeah, tonight is your night, you're gonna dance with a bro, do a full body beer battle with a bro. Full body beer battle with a bro, oh my God. So what is it supposed to do? It's supposed to.
Speaker 1:It claims the yeast in the hops. Oh, okay, I'm really not even sure what hops are, but it helps to soften your skin and increase your circulation.
Speaker 3:Okay, it helps to soften your skin and increase your circulation. Okay, well, I know it's doing. You know, beer does make me feel warmer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, doesn't every alcohol though kind of or no, yeah?
Speaker 3:No, you're right about that. Soften the skin? I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I just picture somebody going in there and they're like, okay, now just relax. And when I come back, well, let me know how it goes. And she comes in like 10 minutes later and he's like oh, the water, all the beer drained out he's just drinking all the beer as he's in it. If I was to do that, that'd be terrible for me.
Speaker 3:I would never get a you know a body beer bath.
Speaker 2:I would be just drinking it you know, I imagine, so you can't make a mistake. You know in the czech republic.
Speaker 3:Someone's?
Speaker 2:I spilled all this beer.
Speaker 3:Whatever you do, sloppy jump inside oh my skin is very soft now. This is amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they pull the big beer bath and he's like, oh, my wife can't know that I'm drinking again, jump in. And then you can at that point? Now see, I don't know anything about baths or how they work. But as an engineer, not that I am one one, but like I was thinking, if you're in there with the beer, you could slightly pull your butt open a little bit and maybe get some like a beer enema oh, I like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a beer enema boofing yeah boofing
Speaker 3:boofing boofing full body beer bath. Come to the Czech Republic, where we have boofing full body beer baths Anytime. You just call my cousin, he calls his cousin. We get you guys.
Speaker 2:He had a lot of families in a beer bath.
Speaker 3:It was probably like the Czech soccer team after they made it really far in the World.
Speaker 1:Cup.
Speaker 3:They went home to their wives or their girlfriends, like your skin is so soft, Maybe it's the beer, oh yeah. And then they were like, oh why.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's the beer, oh yeah, yeah. And then they're like, oh, why don't we just bathe in it? You know?
Speaker 1:Don't they dump on those things? Don't they dump things of beer or champagne? Or Gatorade or something on people Beer showers and champagne.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2:Beer showers and champagne, and then on the field, uh, because it's a christian america, they have to throw a gatorade on them why they have. Well, they usually get the, you know, they get the the cooler uh, and they have the gator inside there and they pour on the coast like congratulations, you know but why is that the christian side? I can't, because you can't have beer on the sidelines oh got it people kids would just conservative people. Yeah, okay, I'm sorry I'm sorry, right conservative people I actually okay, okay conservative people who don't want to see beer and alcohol on the sidelines.
Speaker 2:I mean just I get it just give your kids ak-47. That's fine, um, keep the beer out of them, but yeah yeah, yeah, all right, and that's a now, that's a weird uh trick right there too, which one beer bath beer bath I see what you meant by weird.
Speaker 1:Now I would do that one, would you do that one?
Speaker 3:I I think I have just sometimes, you know, I have like a long night. Next thing I know I'm in the shower. I have like a couple of middle lights in there.
Speaker 1:You know I come out and you know, feeling rejuvenated I just remembered in the 70s we used to rinse our hair with beer and then there became a beer shampoo and for a while I was taking natural light into the bathroom and actually rinsing my hair with the beer and I don't remember what it's supposed to do. I guess it's supposed to soften your hair. Maybe it takes off like the hard water or something the minerals.
Speaker 2:I can't believe that you just remembered that. I literally just remembered that. Just, it's one of those things where I'd be like, oh yeah, I did pour beer on my hair in the shower for a while wait.
Speaker 3:How old were you when this started happening?
Speaker 1:probably I was like 26 or 27 and I had a boyfriend who was just always drinking natural lights and he just left him in the bathroom.
Speaker 3:He would just left him in the shower.
Speaker 1:He was gross. He would leave food, like ice cream bowls, next to the bed and you know it was so he was never surprised to have a little can of half full natural light in there.
Speaker 2:Thinking on the go. I like that.
Speaker 1:What's that Thinking on the go? He's multitasking.
Speaker 3:I don't have time to get debilitatingly drunk right now. I need to shower.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got to shower. But why the natural light? That was kind of his faves. That's pretty much it. They were gonna talk about cupping, not they. When I looked up like, because I don't know about a lot of these things, I wanted to make sure that we did something today that I didn't know about Cupping have you heard of cupping?
Speaker 3:I have Okay.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's not that weird right, it's become more mainstream.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, I see a lot of people in sports do it. You see them like they have those weird like the red dots or whatever. Oh, right, and I guess what it's supposed to do is like it just sucks blood up towards whatever is ailing you instead of like massaging it out and this and that, yeah, yeah. I did it a couple of times. I got into a car accident and they recommended me doing that and it helped, but then I had like these freaking you know welts all over my body.
Speaker 1:I think they look cool like an alien kind of thing.
Speaker 3:I have a lot of body Like we need more cups.
Speaker 1:My grandmother did that to me. They got like big gulps and just start doing that.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, it's plastic you can use plastic but I hear it helps.
Speaker 3:You know, I've done that, I've done acupuncture as well I love acupuncture I liked it way better than cupping.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know, because, like you know me being morbidly obese they would start using that pump to keep sucking it and then be like we're out of space in the cup. Like I said, we need a bigger cup.
Speaker 1:You need a bigger cup.
Speaker 3:And they started using pots and pans on me.
Speaker 2:You went pots and pansing. Yeah, you'll go pansing sauce panning yeah, what? So my grandma did this thing where, like it was like a um, she had this piece of cloth and she like tied it around like a nickel or whatever and made like a little you know thing at the top and then dipped it into like maybe it was like kerosene or lighter fluid, I don't know what the hell it was and she'd like that put that on my back and then put a cup over that.
Speaker 1:Wait, there was a nickel in there. Why.
Speaker 3:Is this like old world stuff? Yeah, old world stuff, yeah.
Speaker 1:I like that.
Speaker 2:And then you'd put it, and then she'd put a cup, and then, you know, by putting a cup over it, it would like this yeah, you would like, and you'd have like a you know, depending on what kind of cup you'd use, maybe like little rings on your back, oh, and it was supposed to like, I guess, help with back pain or like muscles, stuff like that. But I think it was also one of those mentalities where they were like do this and then it'll help with all of your stuff right like windex exactly like windex yeah it's not windex me being half greek, it's rubbing alcohol oh, now it's rubbing alcohol.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know who puts windex on their children it was in mama mia, remember it was a mom. Yeah, it was in the big fat greek wedding also oh man, you know what?
Speaker 1:that's what it was. It was that. I'm sorry. You're right, it's rubbing alcohol.
Speaker 3:My grandpa used to do the same thing yeah with the, the flame and whatever when I was sick. Uh on me yeah, yeah just freaking, rub rubbing alcohol and then like light some shit on fire. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I was like a little kid. I was like, is this guy trying to kill me? Like what's going on? Am I going?
Speaker 3:to be the next Freddy Krueger.
Speaker 2:You know this guy gets out of control my grandmother used to do this thing where, like she would like take her finger, like this and put it on your stomach. Here she is on my throat. Did she go like this? I never knew what she was looking for, she would just do it. By her doing that, sometimes I felt like my stomach was feeling better.
Speaker 1:It actually stimulates your immune system to tap right here and other places on your chest. I definitely would move some of the stuff in your upper, maybe because I was a very gassy kid so I probably had a lot to do.
Speaker 2:Maybe she was like no, of course, the things don't change.
Speaker 3:Do you think, like all these are like old world, old country?
Speaker 1:I think they're new because and I just remembered one more that we're going to actually I'm not going to reveal the name of the company that's going to come it's a very high-end skincare company. They use salmon sperm. Oh, mm-hmm. Yeah, alex, yeah, are you excited about that one? Yeah, I hope they bring samples. That's all I can say. I'm just happy, thank you for laughing.
Speaker 3:It's disgusting as it was coming out of my mouth.
Speaker 1:I was like oh God, here it comes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Well, think about the work that they have to do to try and get that stuff swimming upstream and all that.
Speaker 2:Oh my god, how do you get it? Either be in a like a jacuzzi and make it go one way, and then try and go the other way.
Speaker 1:They're doing that for product. Oh wow, because then? Yeah?
Speaker 2:is this farm raised semen? That's a really good point, because I mean, I mean, whatever it is. I'm curious to take a few spoonfuls to see what it really does.
Speaker 3:You know yeah is this skin or or hair? It's for skin, this one's for skin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, was the bull semen for hair. Oh, that's right, it was okay, yeah, so maybe it's just semen.
Speaker 3:In general, people have been trying to sell that uh, that notion to me for a long time, for years. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, most of the male species, I think they all try to sell us.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, sperm on the skin. I'm sorry that you've. I'm sorry that your grandmother passed away. This will help you you know, and yeah sometimes it does. Helps me tremendously get over them, feeling lost.
Speaker 1:Yes, oh, my God, I hate you, oh no, oh no, you're fine. No, I know I am fine. Um so, let's go over, let's just do a little quick recap so we'll go.
Speaker 2:So the five, if you're just hold on one second. Yeah, oh, the top 10 five weirdest health beauty tricks from around the world.
Speaker 1:The top 10, five okay, yes, okay.
Speaker 3:Snail slime facials snail slime facials uh, I'd do it, yeah, okay, oh yeah, let's do that. That's a good game. Yes, okay, so you would do it. Would you do it? I would do a snail slime, I'd do it. Yeah, oh yeah, let's do that. That's a good game. Yes, okay so you would do it, would you do it?
Speaker 2:I would do a snail slime facial.
Speaker 3:I would do it too. I'm not doing snail semen.
Speaker 1:No, no, no no, no oh my God, do they have semen? I'm sure they do.
Speaker 2:They probably have semen salt. We don't want it anymore.
Speaker 1:They don't have high blood pressure.
Speaker 2:And they just go no, and they shrivel up. Oh, that's so sad.
Speaker 1:All right, bird poop facials from Japan.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Would you do that one?
Speaker 3:I've been pooped on by birds, I think so. Yeah, I think it depends on the bird Nightingales, I don't know.
Speaker 1:What does a nightingale even look like?
Speaker 3:Isn't it a smaller, cute bird? I think they're like swallows oh my God, are they swallows, swallows they joked right themselves. Swallows.
Speaker 1:Face into the camera.
Speaker 3:Swallows.
Speaker 1:Okay, next.
Speaker 3:Why did we not hit that earlier?
Speaker 1:Fire facials from China. Would you let somebody light your face on fire for rejuvenation?
Speaker 3:I don't know that I would.
Speaker 2:I feel like if I was in China, I would let somebody do it. I don't think they're going to do something that would hurt them, because they know what's going on, and so, yeah, I would let them do it. I think I would.
Speaker 1:You don't think that the Chinese, who are making all of the plastic stuff that's being sent to us on Amazon, care about our faces?
Speaker 3:Bubbles and polymer.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, bubbles and polymer. Well, no, I think the one is dead, but I think that, like doing his treatment somebody that specializes. I'm saying like you go to somebody and they're like they take pride, People take pride in their craft.
Speaker 3:And even right there it says you know for a brief moment what if you get like a really shitty specialist? I know, you know, he just oops, he forgot, he gets a text.
Speaker 2:He's like oh, yeah, yeah, a brief moment to him is getting a text when it's clearly that's not brief, it's. It's too much, too much, too long.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, All that guy's like. That's actually kind of funny. That's the oh World's worst esthetician in China.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't set the timer. Do I look? Good, you look.
Speaker 1:Fire Bull sperm hair mask. Would you do it?
Speaker 3:I think I have.
Speaker 2:Wait, did you go cow tipping?
Speaker 3:trying to get up like ah this rope is weird, it's getting harder.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why is it only on my hair? Oh wait, this is luxurious. This feels so full of protein and enzymes you know automatically that it's full of enzymes absolutely, when you, when you, when you get a good sperm, you know it's quality enzymes. Yeah, this is a very, this is a very weird, uh, facial episode I like it.
Speaker 1:I'm happy with my choice today I'm saying it's good. Last one on the list. Obviously, I think I know the answer, but would you do a beer bath? No, no, for real.
Speaker 3:No, I would 100%.
Speaker 1:Okay, I was going to say, oh, yeah, yeah, I think I would, depending on the beer, that sounds fun.
Speaker 3:You know, I want to do like a really like a stout beer, just because I think it'd be funnier when I get out of the shower.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm just like it's all foam yeah.
Speaker 3:It's warm.
Speaker 2:Wait, you don't want to have a beer shower or a beer bath. That's different. This is the beer bath. So, depending on what part of the world you have the beer bath, here you probably have a cold beer bath.
Speaker 1:Everybody's obsessed with cold and cold beer because we know american beer needs to be freezing cold. That's why they make it cold. Yes, you know the tub turns blue.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you know it's ready it tells you it sucks the beer's blue. It's ready to ready it sucks now um. And then in germany you have obviously like room temp uh beer, bath room temp beer, yeah, exactly yeah and and um, uh, what's the other?
Speaker 3:place iceland iceland, uh, maybe, uh, belgium belgium I've been to belgium and and sampled many, many, many beers what is that belgian beer that I like it comes with like the weird top?
Speaker 2:things uh stole, uh, I mean there's so many.
Speaker 1:I mean, I used to Like, we used to just go down and, like always, just get a new one Every time there's cherry beer and that's why I love it, grosch Okay yeah, that's. Is that Belgian?
Speaker 2:I think Okay, dave Grosch.
Speaker 1:Dave Grosch.
Speaker 3:He was a little watered down these days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, dave Grosch, I mean not Daveave girls, girls the beer. I love their bottle because it's got the little reusable top on the top. Yes, that's why you know all right, and then you would do a beer bath as well yeah, I would do a beer bath not enema though well, no, you know what? I would. You would do a beer enema if it made my face, look, you know brighter. Yeah, increase the circulation in your butt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah, I need a butt facial.
Speaker 1:Okay, butt facials. Sorry, I have to sing these things. No, please Sing it.
Speaker 2:You're not going to remember unless you sing it.
Speaker 3:Everybody has their own way Butt facials. See, there you go, butt facials. Oh, I think I, yeah, I would do it, you got to the end of that song.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, alright, right. Well, guys, I think we've pretty much covered it and, uh, we're gonna do the sperm salmon and I would. I will even. It does sound disgusting.
Speaker 2:You said it like it was like a like, like what you're gonna have for dinner, I'm gonna do the sperm salmon and uh and then I'll do a bull semen facial and uh, what do you have? What kind of iced teas do?
Speaker 1:you have. Yeah, oh my god, okay cool very cool.
Speaker 2:Where can people find you on social media?
Speaker 3:oh, johnny scortis at johnny scortis on all the things. I'm old enough to actually actually have my name there, so that's pretty cool that's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:We'll have your name on the thing so people can read it and they can find you. Yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for being here. I love your glasses too. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Want to try them on.
Speaker 3:I mean, I have a wide head.
Speaker 1:It's okay, they kind of bend oh.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah, yeah they were yeah, yeah you actually could.
Speaker 1:You could pull off a red glass I look like fatty jesse rafael. I'm gonna kill you, I love wordplay.
Speaker 2:Dude, you look like when you're wearing those. I could see you in back to the future. Like in, like the. Like the 55 scene or whatever. Oh my god like that, oh man, yeah, yeah, that's a good look like the uptide dad. Look the uptide dad look, or somebody like in, like the 70s in nasa just going you know like this, and then god damn it and he's just in charge of the janitors, but, but, but, but.
Speaker 2:Because he didn't do his job, it trickled down and then, you know, the Apollo got lost with all these trash cans you see, you put them in space oh, my god, alright, I love you. Thank you for being here again. Thank you, I love you guys, so excited that you came thank you guys and we'll have you back if you'll come back sometime.
Speaker 3:Hell yeah, I'm gonna try one of those things okay, good yeah, with the cum and I'll try it.
Speaker 2:I filled the bathtub. No, no, no, it's the beer. Oh, you got it wrong.
Speaker 1:Alright, well this is gonna be out Wednesday 3am next week okay yeah, so you guys, we'll see you next week and thanks, bye thank you for the 100 podcast, guys. Oh 100 podcast. Did we say it, yeah.
Speaker 2:Beginning of the day.
