Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Comedian and esthetician, Nicky Davis, along with side kick/boyfriend/assistant Sandro Iocolano, interviews comedians, actors and other practitioners as we learn about the latest, as well as the oldest techniques for staying young. We get weird but educational.
Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Skincare Rituals and Body Dysmorphia: Finding Balance in Beauty
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Could your skincare routine be healing your mind or secretly harming it? Licensed therapist Alicia Racine Fink joins Nicky and Sandro to unpack the fascinating psychological dimensions of our beauty rituals.
When approached mindfully, skincare can serve as a powerful gateway to self-care and l. Alicia shares brilliant "habit stacking" techniques to transform your routine – like humming while cleansing to stimulate the vagus nerve, or listening to affirming messages during your regimen. These simple additions can elevate skincare from superficial to deeply nurturing.
But there's a shadow side to our beauty obsessions that rarely gets discussed. Contrary to its name, body dysmorphia affects the neck up 90% of the time, with people seeing their faces in fragmented pieces rather than as a whole. Alicia candidly shares her own struggles during the pandemic when skincare videos became a compulsion, and how easily self-care can transform into self-criticism under the influence of homogenized beauty standards.
The conversation takes a profound turn discussing "the fat attack" – how we often interject anger and direct it at ourselves instead of addressing our true feelings. This psychological insight provides a powerful lens for understanding those days when we suddenly feel "ugly" or "fat" despite nothing having changed.
Whether you're a skincare minimalist or enthusiast, this episode offers valuable tools for checking whether your beauty routine is serving your mental health. How do you feel after your routine? Are you avoiding mirrors or checking them obsessively? The answers reveal whether you're practicing genuine self-care or falling into harmful patterns.
Tune in for this beautifully honest conversation about finding balance in beauty, accepting ourselves as whole beings, and creating rituals that genuinely nourish both skin and soul.
Introducing Sex, Drugs, and Skincare
Speaker 1You are listening to, watching, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling. Sex, drugs and skincare. Like and subscribe. Hey, welcome back to Sex, drugs and Skincare. I'm Nikki Davis Jr. I am a licensed comedian stand-up esthetician. Thank you for laughing at that. You're the only one. It never gets new. I say it every week, but it's nice that's why you do it.
Speaker 2You do it because one out of a hundred and six will laugh at it.
Speaker 1That's right. This is episode a hundred and six.
Speaker 2No way that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1Alex was saying what he laughs every episode. Yes, that's true.
Speaker 2Oh, okay, good, I just we couldn't hear you, yeah and being on 106 means that, like every other person we weeded through, now we know the people who are on the podcast. Everyone else was just blech.
Speaker 1Yeah, right, now we're finally.
Speaker 2You're like finally ready, dear friends of ours, dear friends of ours, practice run 105, you know, get those are all rehearsals, yeah, and then once we're 106 on, that's the yeah, yeah, so we're golden. We're good, we're good.
Speaker 1I've been doing natural skincare buckle massage, structural facelift for over 25 years. And Sandro is here Sandro, yocolano, boyfriend, sherpa, set decorator, co-patient with our couples counseling um what's that?
Speaker 2co-client? Co-client. Ironically, I am not trained in buckle massage or facial massage or am licensed in anything that's true so isn't that weird, isn't that ironic? No is it ironic, do you? Don't? You think I don't feel like I don't think it's a little too? Ironic don't you think? What are you talking?
Speaker 1about, I don't know, alex got it.
Speaker 2That's why I said it okay, you gotta be subtle with this stuff. You can't just say people, it's that's how a good comedian works.
Speaker 1They're so subtle that you don't even yeah, it's not even funny.
Speaker 2No, because it's like I mean yeah, that's how I work anyway more set it's. It's the way it is. Yeah, everything is an inside joke for me.
Speaker 1Only I get it yeah.
Speaker 2And.
Speaker 1I say it inside You're so stupid, I know.
Speaker 2Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1Well, thanks for cutting it out. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2Well, you don't want to say an inside joke outdoors? People look like you're an idiot.
Speaker 1That idiot. It's so true we're camping. Don't tell a joke that we could have said inside, speaking of setting aside. Yeah, let's stop talking. No, it's okay, we don't have to. Um, do you have anything you want to talk about?
Speaker 2I mean, I had a pretty good week. I, um, I started sweating more because it got a little hotter out, yeah, so that that felt good. And uh, other than that, no, I've been good. I've been, uh, I've been trading. Um, I've been trading, I've been trading. I've been trading not going into the market for making money, cash wise, so things are going pretty well, perfect. I've been selling other people's bitcoin, hacking into their accounts. I have no idea that I'm doing it.
Speaker 1Things are going fine okay sounds good yeah but I'm excited for today's guest because good yeah, but I'm excited for today's uh guest, because me too we should probably just get to it. That's what I was gonna say, but I just want to point out because I don't ever mention this is sondra was a paid regular at the comedy store. Oh yeah, um, I'm going to be. I'm just gonna x out. I'm gonna cross out nikki glazer's last name and put my name after it right, your phone wants to spell your first name that way anyways that's true it always wants to put two k's instead of the ck.
Speaker 2Yeah, but yes, if you're ever driving by on sunset, he's right in the, he's right behind the parking sign yeah, so if you drive by on sunset and you see my name behind the park, you see move the parking signs, you see my name yeah the producers have done that on multiple occasions and I appreciate it very sweet um, yeah, and then nicky's, we're advocating vandalism yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1Well, today we are going to talk about psych. Is it psychology?
Speaker 2We don't know Mental health, mental health, that's what it was we're going to talk about mental health and skincare.
Speaker 1This is a first for us. We have never combined the two. We've done some somatic things, we've done like you know, but we haven't done this much of like you know.
Speaker 2Like parallels right to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1And the good and the bad. We're going to get to the good side of it and focus, sort of like taking a look at, you know, the way people are seeing themselves. Yeah, maybe in a bad way.
Speaker 2That's fascinating to me because there's days that I see myself completely different in the mirror or I see myself completely different in my head, and it's good or bad, and it completely shifts. So I'm I'm very curious on how that actually affects.
Speaker 1I'm really excited. Um, okay, cool, so let's bring her out. So, um, she is a licensed therapist. Um, was there some? Um, I'm just a licensed therapist, okay, yeah, she's a licensed therapist, I mean she's got a lot more to her than that.
Speaker 3I'm sure, I'm sure I do, I probably do. Okay, but I think we talked about I have a practice yes, she has a practice A group one where people work underneath me, and I have a podcast too. Oh, and she has a podcast too, what's it called Zannyland? Zannyland. Yeah, it's mental health too, but I talk to comedians specifically about, not you?
Speaker 2oh, that's fine. Yeah, I'm busy. I'm busy, whatever day that is.
Speaker 3Yeah well, someone told me you're a licensed therapist, so I didn't want you on the show.
Speaker 1No, it makes sense, you just want licensed comedians by the way, I'm not a doctor, in case you're wondering. Uh, I lost my license on that and so I I don't give a medical advice. Anything you receive from me is is um, don't believe it yeah, it's just, it's just an opinion.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, entertainment purposes, only. It's only, you know, just make skincare into an art form, you know? Yeah, yeah, that's all we do that's it all right.
Speaker 1So I'm gonna bring, I'm gonna bring you out, I'm gonna say your name, we're gonna switch and it's gonna be like that. So, uh, coming to the couch right now, alicia racine Fink yes, alicia Fink, no, okay, alicia Racine Fink, yes, sorry, yes.
Speaker 3Okay, got it. That was so good and your name is Nikki. Yeah, that's right, perfect.
Speaker 2See, she got yours the first time she got it right off.
Speaker 3Oh wow, With a CK.
Speaker 1Yeah, with a CK.
Speaker 2Nice thanks for coming.
Speaker 3Yeah, like louis ck, my favorite comedian yeah, it's not louis kk no, okay, I'm so excited to have to be on and I love your earrings oh thank you the pizza yeah it's their, uh, they're festive they're so cool. I have watermelon earrings. I wish I had known oh yeah, we should we.
Speaker 1Next time you come on, we'll do food based. Yeah, exactly, yeah, okay, perfect um, you're wearing a very cute outfit, by the way. Uh, it's like a little eyelet, is that what that's called?
Speaker 3I think this is called eyelet. I love it, but you know what it felt nice to me Like you were talking about how it's getting warm and you're starting to sweat again. I got really excited because I was like I feel like I can wear a tank. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1It looks like a very springtime outfit.
Speaker 2Synthetic stuff which I'm decked out in right now.
Speaker 1You're just wearing spun plastic. When I sneeze, just like blue fuzz comes out of my nose Um.
Speaker 2I know spun plastic.
Speaker 1That's it. That's really what it is, um, but thank you so much for being here. Yeah, I'm excited, um, so yeah, so let's talk about that. Like, let's talk about the connection between skincare and mental health.
Speaker 3Uh well, first I wanted to. I mean, how do I even start right? It's like skin care is the best. I wish it was my other career. It could be my other career.
Speaker 2I spent way too much time on it for good and bad reasons, is why I'm here today.
Speaker 3But in general, I thought we could start with talking about skin care routines and the ritual. I know you teach skincare routines and I sort of wanted to add this little fun element of it can be a gateway drug, if you will, to a self care practice that I feel like most of us need, right. I mean, we really need right now. Yeah, and I wanted to talk maybe a little bit about what I do in my skincare routine and how I've sort of used if anybody's, did anybody read that book? Was it Habit? What was the book that came out? Everybody read it.
Speaker 1Everybody but me. I can't remember.
Speaker 3Anyway, we won't talk about that. But habit stacking is something where, like, you already have one good habit, one ritual, and then you add on to it, have one good habit, one ritual, and then you add on to it, so maybe you're already washer in your face and, for example, like every night I will hum like while I'm doing right because that automatically stimulates the vagus nerve did you know that?
Speaker 2I didn't? Well, I know humming was good for you. I didn't really know exactly His mom just got here from Florida.
Speaker 1She hums, all day long, constantly humming, and she's just always in a good mood.
Speaker 2No, she's always liked to sing and play the piano, but she just loves humming.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's a really cool one. It's not one you maybe want to do at the grocery store but this is why I think it's good. In your bathroom at night where you add in a little humming, it stimulates that vagus nerve and then we're already telling our body it can downregulate. Right, we're activating this parasympathetic nervous system again and we kind of really we need that throughout the day.
Speaker 2And so it's just a great somatic.
Speaker 3I know you brought up having someone somatic on here. It's a great easy somatic term or practice that you can just add like lovingly to whatever it is. You know you teach people to do and what I do at night, so it was a fun thought yeah.
Speaker 1I love that. I was just going to say I do when I take a shower, I put on my sexy body affirmations at the same time, so I go. And it accidentally went to his car the other day and it's like I am hot as hell. No, I put hot as hell, no, I put it like on my phone. I turn it on while I'm taking a shower and it's just like eight minutes of just like uh every day.
Speaker 1No, it's like some other lady. She's like maybe, um, like Latina, oh, and she's like, uh, I receive lots of compliments, but it's like it just goes on and on and I just repeat it as I'm doing it and it's uh, I think it's helping this is exactly what I'm talking about right. That's what I'm saying amazing, that's I didn't even know.
Speaker 3I'm gonna add that to my routine.
Speaker 1Perfect, you should add humming yeah, oh, I'm going to, for sure, I'm going to wait. I want sexy body I'll send it to you. I'll send it to you yeah, that that's fantastic.
Speaker 3So you do that while you're showering, you're doing your thing, you're smelling your smells. That's fantastic.
Speaker 1It just kills two birds with one stone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's perfect.
Speaker 3I mean, you could do any kind of meditation while you're in the shower. Mindfulness Basically, we're talking about creating a mindfulness practice with skincare, and then I think people are already really getting into skincare nowadays, which is really cool. And yeah, I mean, when you do your skincare ritual, how does it feel, or what do you teach people?
Speaker 1Um, what do I? Well, there's, that's, two different things yeah. My skincare ritual probably as much isn't as much as you might think. I'm kind of lazy, oh, um, so yeah, yeah, ok, but what I would tell somebody is you know you would want to. If you're going to wash your face, wash it at night. Yeah Right, did I say?
Speaker 2that before.
Speaker 1Yeah, wash it at night. You don't need to wash it in the morning, right yeah, because you're washing the dirt up at night and then you don't want to wash it in the morning necessarily. I did that, right, yes, oh good. Yeah, people are over washing, yeah, and it's uh do you double cleanse at night?
Speaker 3Um, you can, yeah, absolutely yeah, it just depends, yeah, and how, like, if you're wearing a lot of makeup, it's probably a good idea. I'm just like a skincare. No sunscreen lather because of this.
Speaker 1Yes.
Speaker 3So you're going to need double cleanse. Yeah, I double cleanse because of that for sure.
Speaker 1Um, yeah, and then also yeah, then, like a like I like a nice hydrating serum underneath some, maybe something a spray with like hydrogen water, like molecular mist, like deuterium oxide with d2o. That's just like, if you're fancy, it's just yeah you didn't say dmt, did you?
Speaker 2no, I did not say dmt, that's a different one.
Speaker 1That's why I was in the bathroom.
Speaker 2So long there's a little green man in a different one. That's why I was in the bathroom.
Speaker 3So long there's a little green man standing on my shoulder, I'm in a different dimension.
Speaker 2She never comes out again. Yeah, got it. She fell into the tub, what I don't know. She took the ritual really seriously, yeah.
Speaker 1And it became like an ayahuasca ceremony. Yeah, exactly, I'm throwing up. We're not saying that. There, I got the shaman in there with me. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2My skincare ritual. I take ayahuasca on my skincare ritual every night.
Speaker 3That's perfect.
Speaker 1Oh, wow, yeah that'd be awesome, oh my God.
Speaker 2Too much money on ayahuasca.
Skincare Rituals as Self-Care Gateways
Speaker 1That's so funny, yeah. And then what else? Just, you know, like a light moisturizer, depending on what kind of skin you have, or sunscreen, sunblock, sunscreen, especially if it's chemical. Yeah, if they're super fair, yes, use mineral sunblock. That's what I think. And if you're, yeah, and I think it's just nice to not have it on.
Speaker 3Oh, it's so nice.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3I actually check my weather app to see what the UV index is.
Speaker 1I do that too. Oh, you do. Oh, my God, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2me. I'm obsessed. That's her favorite app. The weather app is her favorite app. It is actually amazing.
Speaker 3I know, I didn't know that it's fascinating, but I just check it because I'm like do I have to wear sunblock today? Is there any chance I can? Get away, I'm not sunblock permanent, like I need my skin to breathe yeah, just otherwise wear a big hat yeah, I do. I'm not really a big hat person I wish I was. Should I start that?
Speaker 1yes, you know it's way easier and it's like it's just so much nicer on your skin. It's so much nicer on your skin, yeah he's a big hat person, in fact one of the first times we were hanging out.
Speaker 2He had a big hat on. We were hiking and she just walked right into a tree. I watched her do it. I watched her do it you did that.
Speaker 1That wasn't me.
Speaker 2Yeah, that was you I remember you walked into it and I actually said out loud I was like are you serious? Yeah, because I thought she was joking. Did you do it on purpose? I'm like did?
Speaker 3you do it on purpose.
Speaker 2You guys need a big hat line now you need to just like add that to the whole thing. That would be great, you guys make your own hats.
Speaker 1We all wear them.
Speaker 2Is that a hat or an eclipse?
Speaker 3I really should get into hats, but I'm really into. I wear sunblock like it's my skin.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3But I have to. My mom has had melanoma like too many times yeah. And so I'm really protective of my skin. But I do check to go like we're at like a one or a two.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3And I'm like I'm not doing this today.
Speaker 1No, no, no, yeah, no, no, no, yeah exactly.
Speaker 3What do you think? Is that okay? One, two, three, what do you?
Speaker 1say You're not going to get burned for sure. Uva rays I don't believe that the strength really decreases much when the sun's up or down Okay, so as long as the sun is. If you're getting sun right to your face, I'm not a hundred percent sure of this, but I think you might still be getting the rays that penetrate your skin and can sort of corrupt your dna and make you older. So I wouldn't.
Speaker 1I wouldn't sit and bake at six o'clock even and just having the sun right in your face oh, for sure but um, but yeah, if you're just going out and just like getting into your car, you're going somewhere where you're not just going to be like sitting with the sun on you or yeah, if it's like a super gray day, level two, two, I'm okay. Well, yeah but also 80% of the sun's rays still come through on a cloudy day, oh God.
Speaker 3I know right, I should actually be wearing it every single day, I know it sucks.
Speaker 1I heard of a lady. This girl Sadie something. She was like wear it inside and I put on the comments. I was like why Is it because of the windows? Windows or not stand in the window, because it does come through your window.
Speaker 3Yeah, that makes sense. I mean in the car I know it's a really big deal.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, I know that, like you really should, especially in the car, actually have, because one side of my face will have like more freckles than the other. Oh yeah, but I, I try, I try to give myself a break, but I will tell you from the computer too, Like we have to. I'm on the computer all day. We have to sort of protect ourselves from that.
Speaker 1I literally just changed my phone to the to the like the the amber color.
Speaker 2Oh, is it constantly? Can you do that? Yeah, you can oh.
Speaker 1And it's better, for it's not as addictive. There's a whole other addiction of people with that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, where people get addicted to the blue light for some reason, and it was something. Somebody came up with something, something, something, and then it ended up in Vegas. And no, in Vegas they want you to be like nee, nee, nee, nee nee, oh yeah, with like the they pump the oxygen in and they pump in the blue light in Like.
Speaker 3I'm never going home.
Speaker 2Free alcohol, basically steer them to where you want them to go and where you want them to be with it, just by the blue light, just by triggering parts of the brain.
Speaker 1So crazy, it's amazing so that's why, when, as soon as I heard that, I was like no, I just changed it last night. Yeah, yeah, so, anyway, yeah, so you know what. You can interrupt me by any, any, anytime you need to. I'm serious because I need you to keep on track, because I don't know what you're gonna say.
Speaker 3Keep me we're keeping on track, yeah, but I am really excited we talked about sunblock. Yeah, I think sunblock is really important and it is really important to me. It is authentically something that I should talk about, that I wear it all the time. I try to check the UV. I have like a filter on my computer. I'm going to make it all amber now. I do use mineral because I heard that like that helps balance it as opposed to just yeah. But, also, you're not getting so many chemicals.
Speaker 1It baked into your skin, yeah.
Speaker 3And it's thick, so I have to wash it off twice at night. Yeah, and that's a great opportunity to do things like mindfulness listen to sexy ass affirmations. Do your humming while you're massaging your face, maybe massage your little lobes of your ears and even like right here in your ears, and whenever I do this I'm like, oh my god, it feels so good. Um, that also stimulates your vagus nerve. So really, just sort of adding that on to like let's say, if you're, you were teaching a massage routine to the face um which I know you do right on your pantheon or whatever um on my patreon.
Speaker 3I do the um uh and I teach it at the pantheon.
Speaker 2She's at the Pantheon in Rome In Rome. Go there, yeah, absolutely no one has shown up yet.
Speaker 1Thanks guys.
Speaker 2I feel so good now. No, but I'm saying like we should go to the Pantheon now.
Speaker 1We definitely should go to that, don't ever apologize for bringing up Rome. No, and I wash my hair with Pantene.
Speaker 2Pigs. You mean Just just. Oh really, is that what you're referring to? A little bit.
Speaker 3No, I just heard that men are obsessed with Rome these days.
Speaker 2Oh really, they're what.
Speaker 3They're just obsessed with Rome. Oh, men are obsessed with Rome. Oh, interesting Roman history.
Speaker 2Probably because they think it's like a conquering thing.
Speaker 1And maybe men realized it like, oh, there were a lot of men don't want to admit that they want men or men relationships, so they just say, hey, are you roman? Yeah, and it's like, and then they wink and they know it's like, oh yeah, and then they get together.
Speaker 2I'm not sure if he's he could be lying about I'm 100 bullshitting, but it could make sense, right, yes, okay, that's all I'm saying so cute I'm not a lawyer, so what were we talking about?
Speaker 1um, so we were talking about oh you, you massaging, oh I teach a self-massage class at the Pantheon. You can get great tickets right now on Expedia. But yeah, we do the face with our hands and we also we do work on the ears. Yeah, I do everything. I do everything. Also, I would put my hands behind my it's to sort of release the part of the vagus nerve that's back here. Oh yeah, I think it's really important.
Speaker 3yeah, the exactly now that's all mental health right there, for sure.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, because that anything that you can do to self-relax, self-soothe, is really important yeah um, so, so, basically yeah, and then, and so I think, integrating and habit, stacking all these things into your routine, but also just having the ritual, I think, even though you said you're lazy, it doesn't sound that lazy. It still sounds like you have you wash off your makeup and put on some things at night, and do you massage too at night, or is that a different part of the day?
Speaker 1To yourself you know, what I do is I sit and I watch TV and I, like you know, I play with my lips, or you know, or like I'll you know, just do some it's mindless sort of massaging, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, and then I'll do like neck exercises and things like that, but I don't do like a full on massage, okay.
Speaker 3I'm trying to find something to do it to. So basically you do. It's kind of what happens to, right. We're just like yes, yeah, we're just like but you have like your nighttime routine.
Speaker 2You definitely take care of yourself. You make sure that you're all set, like put you know, but like take stock in yourself and like yeah, I think it's really important. It creates self-worth I think that it's a ritual is really great before bed I'd love it um, so I don't know.
Speaker 3Maybe we're saying obvious things in a sense, but I feel like any woman that really wants to get invested in this or wants to take time to learn this massage, or then wants to add on any type of routine where you can have vagus nerve or mindfulness, is really fantastic. And if you really can focus on, I think, skincare as a way of self-care and as a way to enhance or make yourself feel good, it can be really positive. And then there's the other part.
Speaker 1Let's talk about the and then. That's the fascinating part for me is the and then.
Speaker 3Well, it's interesting because when I first suggested it to you, I was like is she going to want me to talk about this? Because in some ways it is going like whoa hold on Skincare is awesome.
Speaker 1Yeah, but it can go too far.
Speaker 3absolutely, I agree with you a hundred percent, yeah, and we are living in a world where women are. It is like I think there's a med spa on every corner. Um, I don't even know. People are like only talking about the tariffs because they now can't get their korean skincare. I hadn't even know. People are like only talking about the tariffs because they now can't get their korean skincare I hadn't even thought about that.
Speaker 3Oh, it's been everywhere and it's only because I follow it, because I'm also right an addict of skincare and so, um, and I know a lot about this actually, because I've had my own stuff. Funny enough, I um wanted to do, during the pandemic, a YouTube called the Drunk Esthetician. And it was me playing a character where I was pretending to be an esthetician and my name was not Alicia, it was Alicia, and Alicia had a Boston accent because that's where I'm from, and she would talk about skincare, but like while drunk and like you know, kind of just like I, like I love that kind of teaching real stuff, but like effing it up at the same time yeah
Psychology Meets Skincare
Speaker 3and I started it out and, um, it was the pandemic. So we were all not well during this time and I started to really dig deep into skincare videos and to skincare everything videos, end of skincare everything and it became kind of compulsive yeah, where I was doing it to learn at first, but then I started watching and watching, and watching, and watching, and watching and unfortunately the beauty industry believes in homogenized beauty where we all are supposed to essentially look the same like a Kardashian, apparently, or an alien or whatever it's supposed to be. Look the same like a kardashian, apparently, yeah, or an alien or whatever it's supposed to be yeah and um, I had already had some sensitivities around this jowling.
Speaker 3That's like happening right here.
Speaker 1I'm 47 oh my god, you don't look at and come see me anyway.
Speaker 3Yeah, 100 right, but like I'm really I start I I already had sensitivity around this part of my face and I always have, because I've always had a bit of a chubbier face here, and this was. You know, I'm mostly Irish Catholic and like this is just. This is what we look like right, I mean and so um my great-grandmother, I think she had, like you know, she developed these like little kind of hangy job right things so I've always had this sensitivity around it.
Speaker 3Um, I fought it, I have already fought it a lot and then, with that sensitivity, aligned with, I think, some of the isolation of the pandemic, aligned with just the addictiveness of the blue light, we're all staring at our faces on every app too zoom.
Speaker 1You're looking at yourself all day long yep and and and.
Speaker 3Honestly, facetime is cruel what is facetime doing?
Speaker 2I look, so I actually kind of like luck.
Speaker 3I like how I look on zoom. I think I get kind of hot on zoom, but when I get to facetime it's like oh no, facetime is scary.
Speaker 1Yeah, I look like abe lincoln.
Speaker 3He was hot like and every young person I know wants to call me on that including my daughter, and then I like get off and I just hate it's hard.
Speaker 3You answer it like this yeah yeah, um, and so I really personally even as a therapist, with everything that I've worked through didn't realize that, that the videos were becoming compulsive. I didn't know. So I started to really struggle. Also, aging is hitting me, so a lot of things were hitting at once and I myself started to go like, okay, I'm really not feeling well about how I look, and the skincare routine isn't necessarily the skincare routine, because I associate with some positive things, but the wanting to change, the wanting to um. So essentially, what I found out is that it was body dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia is based off of perceived flaws. Perceived flaws are associated with this homogenized beauty, because it's something that doesn't fit, and this is such an interesting, fun fact. I thought everyone should know when people think about body dysmorphia they're thinking about the body Really?
Speaker 3Actually, no, it's, 90% is neck up.
Speaker 1I have no idea.
Speaker 3So many men come body dysmorphia around hair loss.
Speaker 1Oh my God, I hadn't even thought about that.
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean, and it's perceived hair loss, sometimes they're not even really losing it, or losing it at a rapid rate.
Speaker 2So what you're saying is, my face isn't the problem, it's my body. So I don't have I have body dysmorphia about my body, but my body's gross. My face is okay, oh you're going.
Speaker 3I don't have body dysmorphia yeah, I don't have body dysmorphia you're not worried about yeah well, you know, you could be the 10, you could be the 10, I don't know. But but yeah, I think it's, I think it's great because I don't think people are realizing that like it mostly does affect the neck up.
Speaker 3It's called body dysmorphia, but it's mostly the neck up and the neck up. I think. Obviously there's a lot going on with the body and there's so many other diagnoses that go with that, and there's eating disorders and there's all these other things. But I think it's really important for us to address here, because we're mostly talking about the face.
Speaker 3And I think mostly what you work with is the face, and again I think that it's a great, it can be a great routine. But also, like, what I want to talk about is when do we cross the line and how do we cross the line? And also just even give the insight alone of like it's 90% neck up yeah it's about perceived flaws. This is a perceived flaw. Yeah, that the world is telling me I should not be getting exactly and I do still want you to work on them so so I also want to say like how do we also hold the dialectic of can I accept and how do we do that?
Speaker 3Can I accept?
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3But can I also work on it, right? And what does this mean about me and all these other layered things?
Speaker 1Do you find that you beat yourself more up if you're having like a bad day? I noticed that I have body dysmorphia too. I've had eating issues like way back in the past and I think my body looks terrible and fat which is why I'm doing the affirmations. But and then I'm like wait a minute, I can't really like I'll look at myself from the side. I'm like there's nowhere else for me to go with the skinniness what. What's going on in my life that I'm beating myself up for?
Speaker 3right now. Why am I hating myself? You are so intuitive. Honestly, when did you learn that?
Speaker 1I just, I don't know, maybe a few years ago I started putting it together. I'm like this is weird, because I don't have anywhere else to go.
Speaker 3Yeah, and like the interesting part is and this happens with my clients all the time is that like'll they'll remember because I'll ask them, like how did you feel two days ago? And they might have felt hot and now, today they feel fat, okay, yeah and so I call it the fat attack, and so I mean, this is not a clinical term, but I call the fat attack, and what the fat attack is is exactly that. It's that, as I'm gonna say, women right now, but it's not only women.
Body Dysmorphia and Media Influence
Speaker 3We often don't feel safe about our anger, and so we do a thing called interject it. We turn it in on ourselves.
Speaker 1You just gave me the goosebumps. You just gave me goosebumps. This is so right on the money.
Speaker 3Take that anger and we go right back in Yep and this is a safe place. Unfortunately, it's not a safe place, but we think this is the safe vessel for us back inwards Right, and so interjected anger for you and me becomes about something wrong with us.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 3And then we're already sensitive about this. And then all of a sudden I look in the mirror that day and I have a complete breakdown that I now have jowls. Or you have a complete breakdown that you're like have jowls. Or you have a complete breakdown that you're like, oh my god, I am so fat yeah, yeah, absolutely you couldn't be fatter it'll ruin my day yeah, but it really is.
Speaker 1You're probably mad at him it's very likely that you could say that probably about a lot of different things I do.
Speaker 3Universe, you're just here, so I took it out on you, but no for sure no, it's me, definitely for me, definitely from you and she probably in the moment doesn't know how to feel it hold it, contain it address it speak to it, because women are really not taught to do that and we're very, very vulnerable to this. And then the industry at the same time is constantly telling us that there are things wrong, and so we get really stuck in this vulnerable position of like I have this anger, it's turned inward. What is wrong with me? Oh, it must be that I'm bad yep, I can fix that I could.
Speaker 2Yeah, I can control that.
Speaker 1Yeah, I think I can control that.
Speaker 3Yeah, you think, and that's why more women die of eating disorders than anything else no way more than addiction.
Speaker 1Guys. That says so much about our society and no one's talking about it because it's women. Yeah, exactly, oh my god no sorry.
Speaker 3I mean there are lots of men that deal with this too, and it's unfortunately at a. It's a growing rate, which is so, but you know I'm. I'm coming from my own personal experience and most of the people that I work with are women.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, I mean they target us. I mean the algorithms are just sending us more and more and more and more of what we, what we think we're supposed to look like.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, and I can't just like walk around and go like, oh my God, I made it to 47.
Speaker 2I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm doing fun things that I like I happen to have like a little slight jowl, okay, that you think you have.
Speaker 1That you think you have Right, exactly Because we don't see it. Yeah, but again, it's a perceived, absolutely Right.
Speaker 3These are perceived and you know, I know that I'm not completely crazy, like I know, like I said, my great grandmother has it. You know it's happening and I can see the littlest bits of it happening, but to the amount that it makes me crazy in my head, to the amount that I think about it and wanted to change it. So after the Drunk Esthetician, I ended up having to shut it down, which is sad because it was a fun project and I had hired a therapist because I was like, okay, this is what is happening to me, I work with this, with other people. But what I didn't actually know at the time, because I mostly worked in eating disorders, that it was 90% neck up. I actually learned that myself in like 2021 or something.
Speaker 3And he was like we need to identify some compulsions. And I was like, okay, to identify some compulsions. And I was like, okay, and I didn't know. And then I was like, oh, I'm watching. I'm going to bed every night watching skincare videos, one after another, after another after another, and not just skincare. I had moved into filler, botox, plastic surgery.
Speaker 1Solutions for what you think that you have Solutions for what's wrong with me and they're right there to give them to you too, to make you think you need them. They do.
Speaker 2Playing on loop while you're sleeping, oh my.
Speaker 1God, yes, going right into your subconscious.
Speaker 3And I want to say right now I support anybody and anything that they want to do. So if I have a client who's like I've hated this nose my whole life, do so. If I have a client who's like I've hated this nose my whole life, I want to get a nose job. I am not going to tell them no.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 3What we do do is we we make conscious what's happening, why they're doing it, setting like appropriate intentions um knowing that like it's probably not going to help their depression but it might make them feel a little bit better about their nose Cause some people think that, like if I change my nose, I'm not no longer going to help their depression, but it might make them feel a little bit better about their nose, because some people think that like, oh, if I change my nose, I'm not.
Speaker 3no, longer going to be depressed, yeah, or I no longer am going to interject anger, no, you've been learning that for 40 something years.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 3Right, yeah, we have to actually learn how to not do that. But I don't stop women and I've done my own stuff. Like I have a little bit of lip filler, I'll talk about it.
Speaker 1I'm okay with it. I like it. Yeah, it looks fantastic.
Speaker 3Thank you, I um get the number I got it for my wedding and I loved it, and you know I don't want to stop anyone from that, but at the same and that's what I'm seeing I'm saying like the dialectic well, I can't talk right now the dialectic of how do we hold acceptance, not buy into homogenized beauty. Let ourselves be unique, let ourselves age, use skincare as self-care, right All these things, and not fall into the trap of I need to be fixed.
Speaker 1Yeah, I'm not enough. I'm not enough is so huge, huge. I need to buy more um and not become.
Speaker 3You know a person that once sat on my couch that had like 48 plastic surgery routines.
Speaker 1Oh my god, surgeries, yeah I mean, I feel like when you buy stuff too online, you get that dopamine rush because you know that thing that you think is going to fix your whole life is coming. And then you get it and you're like oh man, that didn't fix my life.
Speaker 3It didn't.
Speaker 1That lipstick didn't fix my life, lip plumber no.
Speaker 3But it feels good when you do it, it does feel good. Yeah, Do you have any thoughts on it? Like just just from your own personal experience, like how do we continue to lean into skincare in a really healthy and safe, fun good way and avoid the rest? How do we stay away from it?
Speaker 1My way of doing it is I don't look in the mirror all the time and I think we look in the mirror way too much. I'm not even sure we're supposed to be looking in the mirror as human beings. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, are we supposed to know what we look like? I remember when I was a kid you don't know what you look like. You just think you just you look, you're just you.
Speaker 3And then suddenly you're told you're fat, you're, you know you're this or that and then you start add like a other side to that coin because I think that's important. But I do agree when you go camping, like I feel super beautiful when I'm camping.
Speaker 2Exactly that's a very good point.
Speaker 3Yeah, when I'm out there.
Speaker 2I don't ever look at any reflection of myself, I just feel good.
Speaker 1You can't even tell how ugly you are when you're out there.
Speaker 2Absolutely not. When I'm looking at a mountain, I'm like man I'm unattractive. But I'm saying it with a big smile on my face. Yeah, yeah, so it's so true, right?
Speaker 3I mean, you just feel so good when you're out there breathing the air and you're moving around. You wake up in the morning and you just feel super beautiful. Yeah, so I agree. And then I, and then I will say in the body dysmorphia world, though, um, some people start avoiding looking at their face completely I do that with my body and not with my face yeah, and and so sometimes the exposures are to not shut off your, your view on your zoom every time or not avoid the the mirror.
Speaker 3Um, and actually doing my own podcast and being filmed and seeing my face all the time actually really helped within a, within a um structured way. So I'm not body checking or checking the mirror all the time, but kind of regularly I have to sit and edit my my videos and look at my face and go like, okay, that's who I am and also, more importantly, I care about what I'm doing, I love what I'm doing and I'm so much more than my face anyway, absolutely, but this exposure is good for people when they're avoiding.
Speaker 3And yeah you know if you're avoiding your body, because either people body check or they avoid. Yeah, did you ever do the body checking?
Speaker 1Oh, constantly, yeah, oh yeah, it would be this, yeah and then. But also I wouldn't look in the mirror and I still, to this day, like have a very difficult time looking at myself straight on because of the perceived flaws that I have, which is why I do the body affirmations.
Speaker 3Really really beautiful yeah.
Speaker 1So it's helping.
Speaker 3Do you ever go like, nope, you're looking, I'm looking at my body, I'm going to accept it myself today.
Speaker 1Sometimes it's hard, I don't, yeah it's, it's, it's like I have to back into the mirror sometimes and then just be like okay, you know what I mean. Like it's it's not like, it's not easy.
Speaker 3sometimes I'm like no, it's not easy. It's not easy for me.
Speaker 1Yeah. It's not easy with all the work that I've done and all the stuff that I know. Algorithm is bikinis, so you know, I love bathing suits.
Speaker 1I just love bathing suits. I just think they're so cute. They are so cute. I love the ads, though, when they have girls that actually look like real people, yeah. But then sometimes I'll get ones where it's just like super, super skinny girls, and then I'm like I don't think I can do that like, and if I do, I'm like that means I'm not gonna be able to eat, and you know what I mean and it gets in your head.
The "Fat Attack" and Interjected Anger
Speaker 3It does get in your head, yeah, yeah, I mean I would say social media needs to be cracked down on a little bit For individuals. I don't want to be anyone out there that's telling people they can't make content or do content Right right right. I don't want to be part of those people, but I do think for ourselves, it's important for us to maybe look at what we're following and but then again, like you said, you could just look at something for two seconds and they're gonna start selling you ads every day every day, so maybe it's how much time we spend on social media I don't know but we do need to crack down on it a bit.
Speaker 3Um, and then what did help me was he was like okay, so don't watch it. For like an hour to two hours Started to get crazy.
Speaker 1What the podcast? It was the pandemic. No watching videos. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3And it didn't mean that I couldn't watch videos. It meant that I, you know, needed to crack down a little bit on how much I was watching the videos, and just knowing it was a compulsion was helping.
Speaker 3It's just accountable to it, being accountable, knowing that avoiding the mirror was not helping me, obviously not overlooking in the mirror, right, um, and those things started to become really helpful. And then we started to talk about what my views were about my beauty and how I had grown up thinking that was like really a part of my self-worth and the relationship between feelings and beauty, which I had already known about fat attacks from the eating disorder world, sort of kind of understanding this introduction of anger even more, and how to address feelings so that when I felt on the days I felt really ugly, to start to get suspicious with that and start to go, I might be feeling something else that I'm not addressing Absolutely.
Speaker 3That was really helpful. And then, finally, one of the main things I worked on was who loves me the relationships that I have and who loves me despite my beauty, like they could give two flying bucks if I look good that day or not they don't even see what they don't know. They barely even look at you they're barely.
Speaker 3You know what I mean like my sister, for the love of god, she does not give a flying buck. Oh my god, no, how I look right yeah she just wants to like spend time with me and laugh or whatever you know. And so how many people that you have that are in your life and making those relationships more important than any of the relationships that are based on your looks.
Speaker 2I feel like, unless you're like super sick or like there's like a huge change in like your face or whatever they see you, the same always.
Speaker 1They don't see like oh no she's having a weird face day, Like no, it's just like yo, hey, what's up?
Speaker 2They like you look the same, but to you you're just knocking yourself down. Or you're like oh, they must see me like this. Or but no, they just love you for who you are. That's amazing.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's really cool. And then also, when people get really sick, the occipital bone we're talking about that. So the reason why I'm saying that is because they've actually text tested women with eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and they actually start seeing seeing differently. The brain shifts and they start to see differently. Oh, wow.
Speaker 3As in, if someone is really deep in, when she let's say she's looking at you, okay, I'm she and you're you. Yeah, that was easy. She's going. She's seeing glasses, the hair, your, your chin. She's breaking it up into pieces and not seeing you as a whole. Like you were saying, people fill it in. Yeah, when you get, when people get sicker, their brain doesn't fill it in, it focuses on all the pieces. And so some of the work that they do, some of the you know, the neuro work that they do Someone take that word back, please. Whatever I said, the work that they do with the brain really is to try to give them pictures and have them look at the whole piece. So just look at Nikki as a whole, look at the room as a whole, look at the structures, whatever they're showing the person as a whole, and then to the face. Look at your face as a whole, as opposed to a bunk nose, you know what I mean Like a weird jowl. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1Yeah, and I have. I'm not an expert in that?
Speaker 3um, does that make sense? Did I explain? No, yeah, and I have. I'm not an expert in that.
Speaker 1It's something I learned once, okay, my, I grew up with that. My mother, um, would what we'd watch tv and she'd be like you know, she's got like a weird ratio from like her nose to her lip or like you know like her ears are strange or you know what I mean.
Speaker 1and then I would start to look for that and be like, and then I took it into my adult life where I would be feeling self-conscious or like insecure about myself and I'd be in like an open mic and then a new girl would come and all the guys would be like, oh hey, and you know like paying attention, and I'd look over and I'd be like, oh, one of her socks is like wrapped around, like like hanging down, like guys don't like that, like, and I'm not even kidding you that was like one of the things I immediately go like okay, that's the thing that my boyfriend's not going to be, you know, attracted to her because of this one thing that only I am seeing.
Speaker 3So, yeah, I mean, it's just. I wish I was an expert in this one. I had a cool term for this. Yeah for this. Yeah, but I don't. But I know it's true, yeah, and I and I've never heard anybody talking about it like that, though. So when you're sick, you're looking at the pieces, right, and you're breaking them up as opposed to, which is more healthy visual, just like seeing things as a whole and putting all those pieces together and, like you said, filling them in and taking in the essence. Yeah, as opposed to what?
Speaker 3what's all the things that are broken, but it's crazy that the brain actually changes and that the sight actually changes and the way it buyers together changes based off of how a person has been thinking and looking at things their whole life.
Speaker 1So you take it from looking at yourself that way and now you're looking outwards like that.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1And I think, yeah, and then it's like you're like well, if they have that then see.
Speaker 2The world is how we see ourselves oh, that's true, like I believe that, like that buddhist, that's a really good point, yeah is that why people that's I mean one of the reasons maybe that what people have like a lot of plastic surgery, or they do a lot of work and you're like, oh, are they just trying to like balance it, or do they only see their face in pieces?
Speaker 3I think that, like that, in that move, like I think that, like that in that move, like I think that they well, we don't know. I don't want to say everyone that's got plastic surgery has anything wrong with them, but I will say that most likely they were fixing things that they saw in pieces as opposed to a whole, and again they're being influenced by the homogenized beauty and there's and, and also, who knows, when I first started hating my face it's had was when I was 27 and I started to look like my dad and my dad left when I was eight.
Finding Balance and Self-Acceptance
Speaker 3so go figure, it's not just grandma's jowls, it's also the fact that, like these, these the way we look means things. We have to learn about those things, as opposed to getting caught up in our consumer society and down this rabbit hole. And down this rabbit hole of like I need to be fixed and they'll create the rabbit hole.
Speaker 1It's right there for you if you're ready I'll step right into it.
Speaker 3Yeah, so I guess we're just saying do a skincare routine yeah fucking hum yeah, listen to affirmations.
Speaker 1I love that, yeah.
Speaker 3And also notice if it's making you feel better or worse. And why Focus on you know obviously you, I get it. You want shiny, glowing glass skin.
Speaker 2Like that's okay.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 3We're not saying don't get that Cause. I mean, that's why I joined too, but um, you know where is it getting you? How do you feel? Are you feeling more better about yourself as you're doing it, or are you feeling you know less than?
Speaker 1yeah.
Speaker 3Are these things coming up? Is it not good enough? Now do you need another product, Now do you need another. You know procedure, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah, so what would you say? Okay, so, um, is there a way to like put it into just like a short phrase that somebody can be like? Um, like I'm looking in the mirror, I'm feeling shitty about myself right now. What inventory can, how do you take that? I mean, you know, just be like, all right, I got to need to take inventory on what the hell's going on in my head, just to sort of you know, scan and see what's happening in your life and make a note of it.
Speaker 3And see what's happening in your life and make a note of it, inventory on all the things we talked about. I like it, though I wish we had like a specific word for it, where all the letters stood for something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We need one of those.
Speaker 2I feel like everything you're saying is like as a lesson in like being present and being mindful, because you do have to be present and mindful to notice those things, because paying attention to yourself when you're doing it, it's such a cool way to meditate while you're doing.
Speaker 3yeah I think, first of all, the question is like does this make me feel better afterwards or not? When you lay down in bed, in bed after you did it, when you're humming and all this stuff, do you feel like cool and good about yourself, or are you going to bed and thinking like about the piece of the part of your face that you don't like, right? So maybe that would be a clue. I think everyone should be in therapy. I know we all are here I agree with you.
Speaker 3That's really helpful too, because the insight that you had just that you know that you're not really fat that day.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3That you're probably angry is because you've done so much work. You have so much insight now to know that you can be suspicious of your feelings and thoughts. I think that's a big part of it is we need to be suspicious of how we feel about things.
Speaker 1I don't think people know that you, that your feelings, aren't real all the time. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3They aren't. They can be validated, but they don't need to be acted on Right, right or we can get curious about them, like where is this coming from or like why? But I still love your idea of like there being like a thing in the routine where you can go. Is this working or am I getting sicker?
Speaker 1I think that's probably enough, Like take a check at the end and just be like am I feeling better or worse than I did before I started doing this?
Speaker 3Yeah, maybe it's just that simple. Yeah, does this started doing this? Yeah, maybe it's just that simple. Yeah, does this make me feel good? And maybe even weekly, like am I feeling good about this or am I feeling worse? Is my glass skin benefiting me or is it just making, making me notice my nose more right? Um, am I avoiding or am I over checking? Right, those are really big things. Um, am I buying skincare within my budget?
Speaker 1that's a big one. Yeah, that'll tell you right off the bat that you're an addict.
Speaker 3At that point, you're, you're and I know this because I buy way out.
Speaker 1I should have tried to sell you some stuff when you came over. Oh yeah, I will buy it um but you know what actually has happened.
Speaker 3I've gotten lazierier too because I was able to cut myself off a bit. I look every once in a while and go like I want to look at some skincare videos. I actually really like it and I love facial massage and I want more. And I still am going to somewhat fight, like honestly, somewhat fight some of the like aging that I know my family is prone to, for example. You know which is possible, you know cancer.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 3Or you know the fact that, like our faces don't have these, don't have like wide jaws, so it just sort of melts forward Like that's fine. I'm going to probably fight that a little bit, also knowing that, like, aging is beautiful and it's going to happen no matter what, and no one that loves me, really cares absolutely. Um, but I had a point that I was going to say before. I said that anyway and I think that, uh, what was?
Speaker 1I saying um, it's sort of like you're looking at yourself and trying to accept um the things that you have, that you have in your head.
Speaker 3I think this is a good sign that even my brain is trying to protect me from this information.
Speaker 1Wow, that's interesting, that is really interesting.
Speaker 3Well, that's a thing that happens. Yeah, we like block it.
Speaker 1That's so crazy. Yeah, you just like yeah, I've been in therapy where she's been like wait, where did you go?
Speaker 3I'm like, oh shit, I forget, I don't know I was gone yeah, because our brain's trying to protect us all the time and so when we say the wrong thing or when we block out, like that, I don't even know what I was talking about, but I know I love skincare. I want you to love skincare. I want you to love skincare because you do yeah but I think, yeah, it's really important that we keep taking note of these things and that we make sure we're doing it in like a loving, beautiful way.
Speaker 1I think even just bringing awareness to it as we wrap up is so important. What a dud I ended it like that. No, no, here you have something else?
Speaker 3No, give me something else to say Use your closer, it's my closer. Go to therapy, everyone needs it. Yeah, who do?
Speaker 1yeah, absolutely I agree, and it's so much more accessible now than it was.
Speaker 3You know, even a few years ago I knew what I was gonna say oh okay, great, I was just gonna say I got lazier because now I pulled back and I just have my products now that I love, yeah, and I just like kind of stick to those and sometimes every once in a while I let someone add something Right, if I trust them and other than that, I just like it makes me feel good at this point. I think that's what's important.
Speaker 1I think that's fantastic.
Speaker 3Yeah.
Speaker 1And I am just so glad, like I said, that there has been an awareness brought to this and, uh, it's it needs to be talked about more honestly. I definitely want to have you back and talk about it more I would love to talk about it more.
Speaker 3Yeah, and maybe we can even like go. What do we want to talk about in terms of it or, like you know, how it affects women of our age?
Speaker 1yeah, or we could just go on Instagram and just pick people apart you mentioned therapy.
Speaker 2Yeah, that could be therapy. Yeah, that's very therapeutic does?
Speaker 3she realize that she doesn't look like herself anymore.
Speaker 2I'm meditating. She sucks.
Speaker 3Yeah, you just keep going down the line, yeah and I and I, you know, and I love talking about this type of stuff because, as you know, on my's doing it wrong or right. But how can we get better guidance, not from just like a random sorry, gen Z, gen X, gen Z kid you know what I mean Just like on TikTok, going like you know whatever, but like just some licensed people going okay, skin care is rad Also, be careful of this. Yeah, just like anything, just like anything, just like anything.
Speaker 1Well, I think you're I know I can tell just by talking to you. You're a fabulous therapist, alicia, yeah, and I'm so glad. I'm so glad that you came to see me. I'm so excited from jessica, yes, and her podcast, and then, and then I was like well, if it's good, she's good enough for jessica. She's kind of for me, so she's good enough for me.
Speaker 3So yeah, you're like, I guess, yeah.
Speaker 1No, and then you brought up the topic and I was like, yes, that's, we haven't covered that and I think that's so fabulous. So I just want to thank you so much for coming and being with us today.
Speaker 3Thank you for having me. We're for sure going to have all the parts that I blanked out on.
Speaker 1I'm just too busy just finding your flaws, right now no right.
Speaker 2I need to accept my flaws right in front of you all you think they're flaws, and when people hear you they're just like oh, they're having a conversation.
Speaker 3They're human.
Speaker 2They're not picking apart your ums and ahs and stuff like that.
Speaker 3Exactly, and if you are picking apart our ums and ahs, you have something wrong with you exactly and go to therapy, yeah, I didn't even notice anything, but that's just me all right.
Speaker 1Well, you guys, uh, this will be out, uh, next wednesday oh wow, we'll find you on social media.
Speaker 2Oh yes, thank you. Yes, oh my god please.
Speaker 3okay, so please follow my podcast as well, zany land, because it is so. It's a project that is so near and dear to my heart and it is always talking to comedians and it's always about mental health. Okay, that's number one. Number two I am aliciaracinecom. If you want to look at my website and you want to learn about my practice some of the people that work for me if you're interested in therapy or want to help support finding therapy, I also have a sub stack. Want to help support finding therapy?
Speaker 2I also have a sub stack um.
Speaker 3Is that enough? I'm alicia, I'm alicia, racine. Okay with a is actually the like infrasan sign.
Speaker 1Okay, okay, and then zany land, you can also follow on any social media I feel like if you just typed in your all three names, you're gonna find that all of that stuff if you put alicia racine Fink, it's all going to be there, yeah. No one else has been named that name before.
Speaker 3It just used to be Alicia Racine, but I got married. What a Fink that's my add what a Fink right All right, well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1Yeah, this will be out at 3 am on Wednesday. That's fast. Me in the bank. We burned through them when I went away for a little while, so uh, yeah, we need to catch up on that. But, um, so, we we'll see you guys next week, so take care. So nice to see you.
