Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Comedian and esthetician, Nicky Davis, along with side kick/boyfriend/assistant Sandro Iocolano, interviews comedians, actors and other practitioners as we learn about the latest, as well as the oldest techniques for staying young. We get weird but educational.
Sex, Drugs and Skincare
BEAUTY’S DARK SIDE PT. 2/GUEST THERAPIST ALICIA RACINE FINK
What happens when social media algorithms start to dictate our self-worth? This fascinating conversation with therapist Alicia Racine Fink explores the dangerous territory where beauty standards, online criticism, and skincare routines intersect with our mental health.
"I've never been pool party ready," admits our guest, highlighting the universal feeling of not measuring up to impossible standards. We dig into how clothing advertisements featuring only ultra-thin models leave us unable to visualize how garments might look on our own bodies. This disconnect drives both insecurity and unnecessary consumption as we search for solutions to "problems" marketing has convinced us we have.
The discussion takes a poignant turn when we examine the recent case of Julia Roberts posting an unfiltered photo with her niece, only to face brutal criticism online about her appearance. This incident exemplifies how we've become so accustomed to seeing edited images that natural aging is treated as failure. We explore the strange entitlement people feel to comment on others' bodies and appearances from behind the safety of a screen, forgetting there's a real person receiving these messages.
During the pandemic, many of us fell into excessive skincare routines as a way to maintain control during uncertain times. What begins as self-care can quickly transform into self-criticism as we pursue "glass skin" or other unattainable ideals. "It's just skin," our guest reminds us in perhaps the most powerful moment of the episode, cutting through the marketing noise with simple truth.
The conversation concludes with a discussion of alternative approaches to skincare, including facial exercises that strengthen muscles rather than just applying endless products. This holistic perspective encourages consistency and education over consumption, helping listeners develop healthier relationships with their appearance.
Want more authentic approaches to beauty and self-care? Follow Alicia on Instagram @LiciaRacine, check out her podcast Danny Land, or join her "Secret Sesh" facial exercise classes on Patreon. Subscribe to Sex, Drugs, and Skincare for more conversations that balance beauty advice with mental wellness.
You are listening to, watching, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling sex drugs and skincare. Like and subscribe. Welcome back to Sex Drugs and Skincare. Here we are again. Where'd you go?
Speaker 2:I'm over here. Oh okay, I'm here too Good to be back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's nice to be back. I'm Nikki Davis Jr. I'm a licensed comedian stand-up esthetician. I've been doing skincare for about 25 years. Please hit the subscribe button. I'm trying to go through all the things that we want to go through at the very beginning You're doing great.
Speaker 1:Also do, if you want to ever just hit that, what is it called Notifications? Hit the notifications so that you know when the new stuff's coming out, because we always have really cool guests. Because we always have really cool guests we always have. It's usually comedians or funny people. Sometimes they're not funny, but they're on purpose and that's just as funny to me.
Speaker 3:That's so awesome. Who have you had that? Oh, you can't say that. Yeah, we can't say that. Never mind, I'm not going to ask that question.
Speaker 1:Yeah but it's always fun, though, and we always talk about something to do with beauty, um, skincare, um, but today, um, we are foregoing the, the banter between me and my co-host sandra, it's part two. So, um, we're going to continue what we were talking about with my guest, alicia racine fink, who is very good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that you say my name, right I made a point of it.
Speaker 1:I think I fucked it up one time.
Speaker 2:Excuse my language, youtube that's okay, you can say time.
Speaker 3:I mean that's just a swear. I said MF-er earlier, I think I did too. I don't know if.
Speaker 1:YouTube makes a big deal about it or not, with the algorithm they're open on Sunday, so I figured they're not like Chick-fil-A.
Speaker 2:They're not super religious is Chick-fil-a religious I believe that, yeah, they're like. That's why they weren't open on sunday, or maybe they are now.
Speaker 1:I have no idea oh, and then is that why we weren't supposed to like them for a while, because they were like anti-gay or something something like that, because yeah, something like that do you guys know.
Speaker 3:I've never had chick-fil-a.
Speaker 2:I never have either it's just, it's just fried, it's just chicken with, uh, fried stuff on the outside it's not really that big a deal yeah that you're not missing anything.
Speaker 3:I think chicken, basically with some spices, basically with some spices.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, I'm not sure if either one of them was actually really ever a chicken yeah I think the bread was up walking around more than the chicken. Oh, my god but um, yeah, it's okay, you're not missing anything no, it's about dipping sauces. They have, like a polynesnesian sauce which is almost like a sweet and sour sauce. I think that's never a good sign, though, when they're known for the sauces. Well, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like what can I do to mask this flavor?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but then again I've eaten pizza just for the dipping experience. That's true, so it's you know.
Speaker 1:You're a dipper, I'm a dipper, he's a dipper from way back. Oh yeah, but it's like when you go to Trader Joe's and you don't know if the wine is good or not, and so you look at the little cards that they put on there and instead of saying like sweet, crisp, tastes like apples, it's like goes well with fish. All right, I get it Great for cooking, but they'll be like pairs well with steak, you know pairs well with other good wines.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, it must be a really good wine. Yeah, where's the steak aisle?
Speaker 1:oh my gosh. Well, what we're talking about, um, to pick up where we left off, um we were talking about. We were talking about, kind of like, what were we talking about? What I remember you?
Speaker 3:talking. Talking about was women in bathing suits and normal bodies. At first I was mad when you were saying that, because I just get perimenopause ads on my Instagram.
Speaker 3:I'm like okay, I'm in middle age, I get it, I get it, I get it, so I'm a little jealous that you're getting skinny women in bathing suits, but I wish that ads were normal looking women in bathing suits too. I wish that clothing was on normal women. I wish that actors didn't look like models. I love, love, love putting on a television show or a movie and having the actors look like attractive normal people, because they're always going to be like mildly more attractive, but like attractive normal people as opposed to british tv, yeah, I just can't like it takes me out of it, like you were saying, like I just I don't want it anymore. I really just want to see normal people, and maybe that's partly because we have more influencers out there and there are some more normal people and and, and, um, you know, information is more democratized on like t TikTok and stuff. So maybe we want the normal person now. But I feel like I've always felt that way and I feel like it would be helpful for us to see and relate to normal people.
Speaker 1:I buy more things and normal bodies. Yeah, I'll buy a bathing suit if it looks. I can't tell if it's going to look good on me. If it looks good on somebody who weighs 95 pounds, but if someone has a body like mine or if they're whatever, they're just different, but maybe they're a bigger person if it looks really good on their body type.
Speaker 3:Yeah on a 12-year-old with tons of makeup on yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know if it looks good on me.
Speaker 3:I have no clue. Yeah, it's hard and also I don't want to have in my brain that I have to look like that. Right, I'm sick of taking that information in. I was looking for camping clothing and so I went on to Free People, athletic Wear or whatever, because they kind of have cute stuff. I like that like weird, like random colors and stuff like that, anyway. So I'm on there and like every woman that has on a fleece is like pulling it like this. She's pulling her fleece like this.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God you know what I mean, and I'm just like, and he has like a flat waist or whatever. And I'm just like I don't know if I can wear a fleece anymore. Could, I pull off a fleece while camping around a campfire. I don't know. I know I won't look like that, so I might as well just not buy one. Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want to see someone that looks like possibly me, you know, or or just a normal person, because if they look good in it, I'm more likely to look good in it. Do you think anyone is going to do this? I think they are doing more. I'm seeing more on my feed. Oh good, and I've stopped scrolling through.
Speaker 3:I hope my phone is listening to us so that I can start seeing more normal people online as well.
Speaker 2:How much of this stuff is going to everyone, though, like when people are like, oh, there's so much of this stuff happening.
Speaker 1:Are you getting bikini ads in your algorithm? I don't look at anything.
Speaker 2:No, but I don't look at anything.
Speaker 1:Right, but if, oh well, I don't think they show up in everybody's everything, well, that's what.
Speaker 2:I'm saying no, no, no. Each person has their own algorithm.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So when somebody says it's always, I'm always getting this stuff, all this stuff is out there. People are like actually, I thing that you're seeing is something like reflected off of what is going on so the more you kind of get off of that. So I'm wondering if, like it definitely is more sexualized and like a lot more like you know, but in this city that we live in now I feel like it's way more like in la than there's other places oh, but our phones?
Speaker 2:but our phones are definitely like it's a reflection of what we're putting out there and what we're like almost like a reflection of everything we don't want is like the algorithm. It's like I don't want this and it's like yeah, but why am I being tortured by all these women? Because if I see a woman in a thong, I'm like I'm never gonna be able to pull that off I'm not gonna I can't wear a thong.
Speaker 1:I wore one backwards and I was a laughingstock but if you start engaging with some of those pictures and you start flipping to see these people, yeah, it's gonna send you more, but that's what I'm saying so every person is kind of getting their own news, creating their own thing right. So it's like oh, I see what you're saying, so it's there. So it's just like continue.
Speaker 2:Then it becomes obsession, then it becomes. You're trying to push it away, but you keep clicking on it right and it doesn't you know that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:I have now restricted the skinny girl in the bathing suit. I keep moving until I see a normal girl bathing suit. I just like bathing suits. I think they're cool.
Speaker 3:Apparently yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't know why, but um, and then I'll, then I'll look, and then now they'll send me a little bit more of those sort of diverse bodies.
Speaker 3:Cause I always think of marketing as just like it's always models and like that's just it. That's what you're going to get when you go on a clothing site and you're trying to buy clothing. That's all you see and uh, yeah, and it's and it's tough and it makes you think that you have to look that way. But good to know that I can keep working my algorithm out. Yeah, and, like I said, I hope it is listening to me. If everybody just went on their bodies, what's?
Speaker 2:I'm saying if you went on there and just hit normal bodies constantly, whatever, yeah, and everybody in the world did that models would be, would be out of work. You know what I'm?
Speaker 1:saying that's true, that's really true, because whatever's on.
Speaker 2:TV is going to fade out. It's what's? This is the personal television. Now People have the entertainment, so everything's to there. So if we just keep, that's why I only click on white politicians. And I want that I want that to be white. Just politicians in general, yeah, but are?
Speaker 3:you actually paying attention to the news?
Speaker 2:no, not at all. I'm not holy lord, I will. I refuse to. How can we?
Speaker 3:I mean mental health wise I I have to tell clients all the time like you've got to take breaks from it I take I've been taking a break for a lot like years, yeah it's like a regurgitation. It comes around to you, like you'll find out what you need to know I still find out a lot of stuff obviously but yeah, I, when you were saying that I'm like, oh my god, are you like actually strong enough and have, like the, the resilience enough to be watching the news right now?
Speaker 2:it is painful, the most I would do, I don't watch the news. The most I would do is like and I think this is what a lot of people do is like I might check the headlines, and that's as far as I go yeah very rarely do I go any further because I'm like I don't what.
Speaker 2:I don't need an explanation of this ridiculous summation you gave me here, like no, thank you. But yeah, I think honestly, living in your own world and making your own algorithm is kind of where you go, because that leads you to where you live and sometimes that stuff doesn't vibe with what's actually happening, so you can pass by, you know, like the negative shit, and you're like oh, my god, I'm thriving and the world's like it sucks. Here you're like I don't know what you're talking about. You know what?
Speaker 3:maybe maybe the own algorithm too, is like really trying to engage in in a world of instagram where, like you and your friends, aren't using filters. Maybe that's even what we're saying too, where we're sort of like asking the people around us to be, like, more honest about how they look and how they feel, and that way we can at least have a fighting chance against this. Like we're still going to judge our bodies, we're still going to compare our bodies, we're still going to try to avoid our feelings with some type of compulsive activity.
Speaker 3:I mean that's human, but Maybe give ourselves a fighting chance without so much you know marketing and so much Whatever. Too much beauty industry, too much homogenized beauty industry. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Homogenized is a good way to put it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I follow a few different influencers that are specifically not using filters and have like major stretch marks and, like you know, from like having kids or whatever and big bellies, and then they just are showing themselves in a bathing suit, but like in a normal situation.
Speaker 2:I know it's always well, because that's how people judge their bodies.
Speaker 1:It's like if you're not bikini ready, then you should just go kill yourself, oh I've never been pool party ready.
Speaker 2:I've never, had I've never had a body for a pool party ever, and I don't know how many. I don't know how many. Can I just say winters? I'll say I'm gonna get us for summer and it's never so.
Speaker 3:It's always summer and I'm always like damn it just so you know, as a redhead I've never been pool party, never ever ever.
Speaker 2:Pool parties are overrated. It really are. It's like okay, the water's fine, but like I'd rather do this by myself and enjoy the pool, it's so vulnerable?
Speaker 1:why do I need to be in a bathing suit in front of all these strangers and eating hot dogs and no one knows how to?
Speaker 2:barbecue everybody sucks at barbecuing just making all the things negative? Yeah, but what do you? What about you?
Speaker 1:what were we talking about?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I was about to ask you is that good improv?
Speaker 1:what about you yeah, what about you? That was a good one. Um, it's, it's, and then you'll see in the comments way to go, you know like oh, this is so great to see this.
Speaker 3:This makes me feel so good oh, that stuff, no, yeah, yeah, for the women who aren't great perfect.
Speaker 1:You know great, they are perfect because they're. That's what who they are. You don't have to be. The definition of perfect is different for everybody, and so in their mind they're like I'm perfect because this is who I am and this is how my body looks, and if you don't like it, go look at someone else yeah, it's like how we talked about the perceived flaws before.
Speaker 3:These are perceived flaws because of what we're being fed and so now, here you are, having women go like this is who I am, honestly, and it makes us all feel better and safer and kinder towards our bodies and I think that's great and I think that beauty hopefully can go in that direction where maybe we, like, are more accepting and tolerating of, like different looks and different skin colors and different. You know, I'm so sick of people saying to like this person aged, badly or like oh my god, that's so worse, that's so I hate when people actually tell me I look young for my age.
Speaker 3:At this point I get pissed about it. I'm like really, oh, you look so good for your age. I look good for any fucking age how dare you? Like stop with the freaking. You're in middle age at this point. I get it, I'm middle age, but that doesn't mean anything. That means that I still have a shit ton of time to live. I've lived a bunch. Yes, for sure. Yes, I can't see as well For sure.
Speaker 3:But, like you know, that's it, and I'm so sick of, like those sayings. I'm sick of people being like I don't know, I just am over it, I'm over it. I think that's traumatizing too.
Speaker 1:People should keep their opinion to themselves honestly.
Speaker 3:Well, I agree, but you guys said I was pretty and I'll take it.
Speaker 2:No, I'm kidding, but not for your age.
Speaker 3:Right, you didn't say that and I'm not going to say that to anyone ever again.
Speaker 1:No, no, I hate that. You look good for your weight. What I'm just making things up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but it's true, yeah, yeah, has that ever happened to you?
Speaker 1:No, you look good for your age. Oh, for my age, yeah. I mean people say like when they find out't have people really necessarily walking up to me and being like you look good for your age? Yeah, maybe someone has, but I just don't. I don't care.
Speaker 3:Also, I'm not that confident. I don't think I look good for any age, but I'm just saying how dare you like make it like that?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:It's so it's such like a backhanded compliment. And also, why is age such a bad thing?
Speaker 1:It's, yeah, it's demonized completely, it is. And it makes people on the internet feel like they can just say anything about these, Like we love cutting down our celebrities as they're aging. Oh my God, Did you?
Speaker 3:guys see the thing that they did to Julia Roberts. No, that one was so awful. I thought it was so awful, I mean obviously. Mean, obviously she's, you know, been held to a standard of beauty her whole life, right, she bought into it and she made a lot of money off of it too.
Speaker 3:So like I get that, but she posted a picture of her and her niece one early morning or one afternoon playing some kind of like card game, and it's just this beautiful raw picture, no makeup on no filter, and I don't know how old she is at this point, but I don't care. She looks happy and it's. She just got so much criticism. I mean like the internet went wild on her.
Speaker 3:And people were talking about how horribly she's aged and how gross she looks now and like just terrifying, terrible things. And she actually came out and made a personal statement about it and was like she. She was shook by what happened to her. And then she also talked about like she can't imagine what this is like for other people as well and other women just like living their lives and being honest about who they are and what they really look like and how evil and angry and mean we are to people about their appearance I think that, like, the whole thing of like, the short attention spans for people is really taking effect on people, like they also have a short-term memory on what they say.
Speaker 2:Not only, not only do they not understand, like, just like. It's like when you, when you see a car coming from behind you and you like, you see this car and you're like man, this guy's, like an asshole, all you see is the car. You don't think of what the person inside looks like. You're like this car sucks, but there's somebody driving it, or like who, what they're going through, what?
Speaker 1:they're going through.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's also like it's not just a computer. There's a person on the other end of it, right, yeah. And then they like, oh, what did I say? Like, I think, the attention span. We don't realize what we say and the effect it has, but then we also just forget about it, which I mean obviously. Maybe that's something that those people do to cope with, whatever it is on themselves.
Speaker 3:so everybody's just trying to maybe that's their trauma response oh, yeah, yeah it is a trauma response and I do want to have compassion for that too. But I don't understand why we all feel so entitled to our opinions these days. That's a really good point. We're so entitled to our opinions and we're so entitled to like, share them through the internet and criticize people. And just because we're here talking about skincare, you know it's about everything, but for right now it's so much about looks. Yeah and it's, and you're right, no one should comment on anyone's body. Really I.
Speaker 1:I have said, yeah, especially their body, um, yeah, I've said, though, to myself this is what I say when everything blows up and, like you know, super famous, all that stuff, I'm not going to look at the comments because you know there's going to be someone, or if I do, that's how you kind of know you've made it is people feel like you're far enough away from them and and that you, then they could actually say something really mean that. What a better example is, like what I've posted, a thing you know, like something, and it was like girls aren't. Somebody posted girls aren't funny. I was like now I feel good because it reached that many people. Yeah, yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the criticism does show that you've like made it yeah, for sure yeah yeah, yeah, and they're jealous and they have to project all their like shadow stuff on you, as we all know super successful people, as they're leaving their private jets and like having their bundle full of money and all these guys, all these chicks around them, they get on their phones and they're like girls, aren't funny and they walk off you that it's never the loser it's the person that has a real opinion that needs to be?
Speaker 3:why is it that we equate war? What is it warcraft? Warcraft with with losers.
Speaker 2:So funny I play warcraft for many, many years and you sit there and you don't wash your body because you sweat and you eat all the food and you get, just you don't, you don't, you don't get in shape playing the game, that's for sure. So I'm just saying.
Speaker 3:This is where a skincare routine is important, this is where we have to find the balance and we go. Skincare routines are very important.
Speaker 1:Maybe just put a little bag of skincare stuff next to your Warcraft, if you put a bottle of lotion next to anybody playing World of. Warcraft? They're not. That's a bad idea.
Speaker 2:They're not. They'll be leveling up, but not their face, they're not their skin care.
Speaker 1:Not for the intended use.
Speaker 2:No, no, that's disgusting. Plus, their parents come home and see that Everybody, no matter how old you are, as soon as you start playing World of Warcraft, you live with your parents immediately. You transport back to your parents house and they come in.
Speaker 3:Even if they've been dead for years, they come in I love how these people these people only play world of warcraft, but then the only other activity they do is they like switch on over to tiktok or instagram to be like.
Speaker 2:Look at this ugly woman yeah, and then they go yeah, that's it like these are their two, or maybe they've got arms for both. I don't know multiple, multiple screens, multiple screens. Hold on a second there probably isn't there probably.
Speaker 1:Or maybe they've got arms for both, I don't know. Multiple screens, multiple screens. Hold on a second.
Speaker 2:There probably is no more multiplayer online game like Warcraft. It probably just all is social media.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That same person is just sitting there, like they found a way to feel happiness from throwing out negativity.
Speaker 1:That's another thing I would like. Like throwing out negativity, that's another thing. I would like that. Um, I read, I read that like being dysregulated. You know your nervous system, which is from trauma yeah one way you know that you are and I don't know if this is true and you can tell me is if you watch tv and you're scrolling on your phone at the same time. I do it a lot, but, um, I also yeah, oh interesting.
Speaker 2:I haven't done it for a while, but that was something I definitely did you're so dysregulated that you need to have both stimuli.
Speaker 1:I guess, yeah, just sort of take me out of how I'm feeling, maybe, or just the, the soothingness of the dopamine hits from the phone and then and then the entertainment of the tv, and I don't want to miss what's happening over here, and then I feel like it's necessary for me to continue to keep up on the other side.
Speaker 3:I feel like this is a chicken or egg conversation, because I I maybe it's happening because you're already dysregulated, but it's definitely dysregulated yeah like it's definitely causing you more dysregulation, yeah, and and teaching you that you don't ever have to just like sit and be and be present and like taking something in, yeah, so I don't ever have to just like sit and be and be present and like taking something in. Yeah, so I don't know. I would say it's just working both ways. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1:When.
Speaker 2:I drive, sometimes I have to like, really be like, okay I, just because I'm in slow traffic, it doesn't mean I have to take care of all my business on the phone and then and then my head an hour.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh, I better sign in and cancel this thing. What am?
Speaker 2:I doing. It's just such a I feel like I have to be doing something.
Speaker 3:We're so addicted to our phones, though, and that's on purpose. Oh yeah, absolutely that's on purpose.
Speaker 1:And they've got us last time did you? Switch your phone over to the non-blue. I don't think I ever remembered to do it but I did listen to the spicy, sexy affirmations that was oh good, okay good, that was so awesome yeah, I really like that a lot, yeah, so what are we saying today?
Speaker 3:what are we saying? We're saying how much more time do we have? And what are we saying?
Speaker 1:we have about nine more minutes. Okay, yeah, is that right, alex? So we have a good amount of time. Yeah, also another good improv, is that right, alex?
Speaker 3:no, so you have a good amount of time.
Speaker 2:Also, another good improv. Is that right, alex? No matter where you are after an improv, you go. Is that right, alex? And everybody looks confused and you go, okay, end scene.
Speaker 1:Yeah. The other one is how much more time do we have?
Speaker 2:Yeah, how much more time do we have left on that's?
Speaker 1:hilarious.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think I want to say that it just is really important that we ask ourselves questions about why we're doing things.
Speaker 2:Curiosity. Curiosity, that's a big thing that we've talked about in therapy. Being more curious about things, yeah, kind of slows you down as opposed to being like what the fuck is this? You're like oh what is this Like? You actually want to know about it. So yeah, it's very.
Speaker 3:And having a bag full of skincare which I have here with me because I use lots of skincare, it could be a good or a bad thing, based off of whether or not it's working for you and it's making you feel happier and safer, or if it's doing the opposite. And actually I would say there's two things out there that are really important about us as human beings and what, hopefully, our parents were supposed to raise us to be good at, and one was to feel safe, and the other was to have a healthy sense of self, maybe not self-esteem, but like a healthy, because sometimes people say self-esteem is a little bit like over you know, over-talked about, or like overemphasized or whatever, but like sort of have like a healthy curiosity, a healthy sense of self, a well padded ego.
Speaker 3:Not in the way where you're defensive, but in the way that you can handle criticism. You can handle right, you can handle insight, and so If the skincare is making you feel good, it doesn't make you feel comfortable. You don't feel like you did this, so now you need more. Yeah, like right, that's a good indication, like if you feel like it's not enough, it's never enough, you need more. That's a good indication that it's not healthy. It's a problem If it makes you feel like your most authentic self. Good.
Speaker 3:If you're comparing yourself to someone else and you're needing to change outside of some serious like. Obviously, if you're born the wrong gender, totally different experience. But I'm saying like if you just, you know, like I'd say I don't want to be a redhead, right, and so I like do all these things to myself to not be a redhead, that I think might be a problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what, what said? I'm not sure if I understand that. Yeah, I don't think I said it clear. No, no, no. And so if you're doing a bunch of stuff to make yourself not a redhead, that wasn't a good one.
Speaker 3:Let's say like I'm sorry, no, no, I think redhead's not a good one, but I brought up redhead because I struggle with being a redhead for most of my life.
Speaker 1:Like it was hard to be a redhead oh, okay, yeah, so you would do things to not be a redhead no, it's just that I hated myself for being a redhead and so I wanted.
Speaker 3:There was a long time that I didn't fit in. What I felt like was obviously the homogenized beauty standard that was given to me, and so it's not necessarily like I did stuff to not be a redhead, but I wanted to do and change a lot of things about myself so that I felt like I could be pretty too as opposed to accept myself as a redhead and more enhance the beauty that is authentic to me. Maybe I said that better that time. Yeah, now I understand what you mean. It's gotten very hot in here. I think it's time for us to take our clothes off.
Speaker 1:Am I just?
Speaker 3:nervous or is it gotten hotter in here? What's his name again? I don't know. Alex, alex.
Speaker 2:No, I'm kidding, it probably has gotten hotter but, just you know, because of the science of it all.
Speaker 3:Yeah, did you know that I had a YouTube for a very short time? No, during COVID. No, I think I put three episodes up and it was called the Drunk Esthetician. What Do you know about this? No, and I would come on the screen and I would just act like I was drunk, or maybe I drank a bunch, and I would just be like here's all my new skincare products and I would like take them out and I would be like can't use Tretinoin on my face, it's too harsh, so I use it on my knees and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:It was so fun. I need to watch that. You need to. I mean, there's like one, two or three, but I did that so long ago and it was so fun. That's so funny. Yeah, it was really funny and it was really fun and I totally stopped doing it. I should have continued, because at that time there were no skin influencers. Really it was like the beginning of covid right, like when, when, the if, the if you continued, you got famous. I didn't continue.
Speaker 3:Yeah, neither did I but I did learn a lot about skincare, yeah, which was really fun from the internet. You mean from the internet? Yeah, actually I think I talked about this in the past, maybe here, maybe somewhere else. It actually went into a bad direction for a second, where I was looking at so much skincare stuff that I did start to spin myself out and felt like I needed more and more and more and more and more and more.
Speaker 3:It's a really slippery slope, actually. But then once I pulled myself back and I went like, okay, you can only do skincare videos once a week, or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Then it was fine. Well, so what is? What are the things that go, you know, that are in your mind when you're saying I need more and more and more and more. Yeah, what do you? What is that process in your mind?
Speaker 3:Good question. What is that process in my mind?
Speaker 1:Like I just got this product and now I and is this makes me want this? Or or now you realize that you need this because somebody else told you that you need this or that's right, I think you start to get into the consumer loop also.
Speaker 2:We were in covid and obviously I had lots of issues going on because I was terrified and so it was being like you're trying to control things at that point, yeah, and so I was just trying to like get glass skin you know, and so I I think that what happened was it didn't it started at skincare, and so I needed peptides, and then I also needed sunblock, and then I also needed retinol, and then I also needed glycolic acid.
Speaker 3:But then I needed to like have you know, no pores. And then I also needed to like no longer have jowls, and then I started to need to like have you know, no neck lines, and then I I mean, it just is so, just start picking yourself apart?
Speaker 1:yeah, but then they become buzzwords though, like snatch jaw. Nobody talked about snatch jaw. Now, everybody's super, super into the snatch. They're very self-conscious. If it doesn't look exactly like it, they see it and mine doesn't. Whose does?
Speaker 2:They should just have an app called You're Not Good Enough. You're Not Good Enough, and then that's it. Welcome back to. You're Not Good Enough. Oh, you're not good enough. Yeah, you're not good enough, and then that's it like welcome back to.
Speaker 3:You're not good enough everything is just oh, you're so right, it's just like a see that the alarm went off because I'm not good enough.
Speaker 2:Um, but yeah, it's interesting how that happens, like for me. Uh, just one thing was supplements. I would take so many supplements and I would buy them and I felt like I was doing something good for myself yeah, I couldn't even tell if I felt I felt the supplements yeah. But, I knew oh, I need this one, I need this one.
Speaker 1:And then you just described my mother.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but after a while it's kind of like all right, I'm getting kind of. I think I'm making myself sick, literally yeah.
Speaker 3:With all these supplements. Well okay, now your liver is just over-processing tons is because we were. You know you're feeling something that you don't want to feel, or?
Speaker 3:you think you're doing something good for yourself and it does sort of just like snowball into whatever. And I think I want to ask you what do you think? What do you think is like? Enough is enough on supplements. Enough is enough on skincare. What do you think? Is there like a, is there like a range that you think would be good for someone's skin, but also and I can then say like if I think it's healthy or not too- I mean, I can tell you what I feel like for myself and I could tell somebody, probably individually I do very little.
Speaker 1:I just I don't know. I just don't have the patience and also I don't see the results from having all of those things. Love it Okay.
Speaker 3:So if you're not seeing results, don't do it.
Speaker 1:If you if you're convincing yourself that you're seeing results, don't do it. If you're convincing yourself that you're seeing results, don't do it. You know what I mean? Like ask yourself do I really need this 17th product? Korean skincare is kind of like that, where they have like just I mean we had Jean on the show, a friend of ours, and she was showing us the Korean skincare line and it was just like one thing after the next.
Speaker 2:Very elaborate yeah.
Speaker 1:So elaborate and like I don't really know why you would need that. Yeah, much so I mean it's just, it's just your skin Like, and you can only put so much on the outside you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:I love how you just said, like it's just your skin.
Speaker 1:It's so true, though right, it's like it's just one skin. You're not not putting it like this is going here and here and here and here and here. It's like you only have one face, like I don't know, I don't know, you know that you can go to korea and get like seven laser treatments all in one day.
Speaker 3:What? Yeah, and it's mostly super cheap there and they'll do like all the stuff. Like people travel there just to get like multiple treatments in a day. That's that seems like very harsh. It's very harsh.
Speaker 2:I think their faces probably fall off I was going to say because it's convenient, but the the place next to my house, the drive-thru dentist, went out of business pretty quickly.
Speaker 1:People want convenience, but you should be able to get out of your car for dental work, you know.
Speaker 3:So flying somewhere for like all in one spot, yeah I just think I love what you just said, though, and I and I've never actually even said that to myself before, so I'm like taking that into my body. It's just skin. Yeah, that's so funny. Wow, what are you using?
Speaker 1:But they, in their mind, think that that's what people are seeing, I guess, and then they're willing to spend and get into debt and, honestly, like, I just don't think. I'm just not a huge product person, though, so you're asking the wrong person.
Speaker 3:I love that. I love that you're in skincare and not a huge product person. I think that's really like awesome to talk about.
Speaker 1:I think there's so much more of it that comes from the inside out, and then also it has to do with your, you know, with muscles and, like you, just, you know, keeping your face strong and not necessarily just putting stuff on your face.
Speaker 1:And keeping your face strong is through the massage and and also doing facial exercises. Okay, you do those too. Yeah, on my Patreon we do a class called the secret sesh every other thursday and then, if you sign up, you can also um get classes, all the pre-recorded classes. There's like hundreds of classes on there nikki, I'm new to town.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how would I sign up for?
Speaker 1:something that's a good question. Yeah, how do we sign up? Um you just go on patreon.
Speaker 3:I think sometimes it's true you just go like, hey, take my class, and I'm like I don't know how to take your class.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, well, you can go on my instagrams have it in the um what in the link tree okay, they're both in there and it's called secret sesh. You can also just go, probably on patreon, and you'll see a picture of me okay um but yeah, and when are these classes?
Speaker 3:like all the time, are they live?
Speaker 1:they're. Uh, two live, two live crew they're two there's two. They're two every um. Every other Thursday we do one at 5.30 pm PST and then we do that on Zoom and then, if you can't make it to the class or you want to supplement in between and I originally made it so people who are coming to see me don't necessarily have to see me every week or whatever. They can do their own stuff on their own time, and so I've got all the prerecorded classes from since like 2021 or something like that.
Speaker 3:So on a Tuesday I would come on, right, I'd sign into Thursday. Sorry, I would come into Patreon at 5.30 PST and then you're going to be on there live and I'm going to have my own gloves.
Speaker 1:You don't even need gloves. Well, sometimes we go inside the mouth and I'm going to have my own gloves. You don't even need gloves. Well, sometimes we go inside the mouth, sometimes we don't. If somebody, if I have people, I take requests, basically. So if somebody says let's go inside the mouth, then let's do it.
Speaker 3:You can actually just wash your hands and do it yourself. But if you want to use gloves, you can do that, and you do the exercises too Like you do that Exactly.
Speaker 1:I try to mix them up and then I try to give people something to take home with them so that they can do it in their car. You can do that for a few minutes, but it's consistency too. It's also a way to educate people on like all right, so now take that and do it when you're at the stoplight.
Speaker 2:But also you tell people don't do it if you get pulled over, take a minute, don't do it. If you get pulled over, like, take a, take a minute, don't do it, don't go to the cop, you know like they might not know what's going on, they might pull you out of the car.
Speaker 3:I love it. She's like I got to get 80 reps in.
Speaker 2:So, you don't understand. Yeah, it's tough, the trick is this has been so this is so fun I love hanging out with you guys, we could do 27 more parts to this, honestly.
Speaker 3:I know and I do want to show you my skincare one day oh, yeah and be like. Can I tell you about what I'm using right now, because that is fun, yes absolutely yeah, we'll empty your bag right here on the podcast, just dump it. Yep, we'll just dump it. This was dope. This was so much fun. I love being with you guys that was again.
Speaker 2:We'll have to have you back again for like another three and four parter where can people find you on social media?
Speaker 3:oh, please, okay. So I am Alicia Racine, but the ampersand sign is the A, so it's like Licia Racine nice, okay so it's like Alicia Racine, so please follow me there on Instagram. But also my podcast is Danny land podcast. That's also an Instagram, and Tik TOK Um. And then I have a website Um, it's Alicia Racinecom. Although I am Alicia Racine Fink, cause I'm married now my license name is Alicia Racine, so we still use the license name for stuff like that. Um, but yeah, I'm a therapist, like, yeah, reach out to me.
Speaker 1:I'd love to chat, definitely hit her up for so many things, so many things, but check out the podcast.
Speaker 3:It's really fun. I'm excited for you to check it out.
Speaker 1:I'm super excited to check it out. I love that idea of mental health and we just talked about grieving.
Speaker 3:The one that we did the other day was about grieving oh, wow, okay yeah, oh, wow, okay, yeah, very interesting, we need to do a whole episode on, just on grieving too.
Speaker 1:You guys should. Yeah, it's really 100%.
Speaker 2:It's so good, it's such an important topic. Grieving is great. It is real, anyway, thank you for having us.
Speaker 3:Thank you, always a blast.
Speaker 1:So this will be out 3 am.
Speaker 2:whatever Thursday or no on Wednesdays 3 we do it for the New York stock exchange crowd. Yeah, they're usually on their way to work, you know, when they're like calling in orders or whatever, they like to listen to skincare podcasts 6 am.
Speaker 1:Okay, bye, see ya yeah.
