Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Comedian and esthetician, Nicky Davis, along with side kick/boyfriend/assistant Sandro Iocolano, interviews comedians, actors and other practitioners as we learn about the latest, as well as the oldest techniques for staying young. We get weird but educational.
Sex, Drugs and Skincare
Why ASMR Triggers Love and Loathing GUEST COMEDIAN PAMELA WALT
Ever wondered why some people are obsessed with watching skincare videos or listening to whispered voices while others find these same sounds utterly rage-inducing? That's exactly what we explore in this hilarious and surprisingly insightful conversation with comedian and actress Pamela Walt.
The discussion kicks off with our discovery that ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is deeply divisive – with only about 30% of people actually experiencing the intended calming, tingling sensations these videos aim to produce. Pamela openly shares her visceral aversion to sounds like chewing, whispering, and lip-smacking, describing them as a form of "forced intimacy" that she actively resists. Meanwhile, we unpack why skincare ASMR specifically has gained such popularity – mimicking caregiving behavior and creating "nourishing" experiences for viewers who seek intimacy without physical touch.
You are listening to, watching, hearing, smelling, tasting and feeling sex, drugs and skincare. Like and subscribe. Welcome back to sex, drugs and skincare. Hi, I'm Nikki Davis Jr, stand-up esthetician. What am I?
Speaker 2:Licensed, licensed comedian. Yes, thank you. Yes, thank you. See, that happens when you let your license lapse. Yeah, I know, if you let your license lapse, then you lose your lot in life if you lose your license lapse, then you lose your lot in life, everything I lost, it all.
Speaker 1:Okay, no, I'm just kidding. Um, we're starting a little bit different. Normally I have sandra on the other side of me he's right here, uh, my co-host, slash sherpa boyfriend, uh set decorator and um, since we don't have a ton of time because we've shortened our podcast, first of all like and subscribe we've also, uh, made it so that our podcast we, one of our parking meters is up every in the middle of every podcast.
Speaker 2:We don't know who it's going to be, so we have to always frantically get to the topics, uh, and one of us leaves with the parking ticket.
Speaker 1:So once you bring out our, why don't you introduce our?
Speaker 2:guest. So our guest today is someone I've known um for quite for my entire Don't age me, I will never age you, ever, absolutely not.
Speaker 1:A year and a half, two years I've known this person for two years, which could be a long time.
Speaker 2:A quarter of my life, a quarter of my life. And she's always been funny and she's always been silly, and there's always something. She's super cool, cool and just when you think that she's not paying attention or listening, she'll come back and like she's really quick, I like that. She can be in a room and you're like, wait, is, is pam here? And then she'll just come out of nowhere and just say something really hilarious and then it's so uh, she's a talented actress, comedian, fantastic writer. Pamela walt yay, thank.
Speaker 3:Thank you for an intro. Half the time people do think I'm dead. I'm not off book, by the way, is that okay?
Speaker 1:I didn't memorize my lines, that's okay. Thank you so much for coming. It's so good to see you.
Speaker 3:Good to see you.
Speaker 1:Thanks for having me.
Speaker 3:Is this weird? I don don't know this whole scenario is.
Speaker 1:This is the only way I talk to people. Oh, okay, good, just into a microphone, yeah that actually makes sense. Yeah, absolutely, if it's not into a mic right yeah, exactly that's what we're here for.
Speaker 2:Talking to microphones. It's gonna be funny. Every place we are we're just like yeah, could you? Oh, no, I didn't do the dishes, and then what all right, so we have some three of three topics.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna let you pick, uh, which one of these three that you want if you're listening and not watching.
Speaker 2:Nikki has these things that scientists used to call paper okay so pam is opening up the paper and pamela looks at it read it wrong.
Speaker 3:I thought it said racial fetishes and I was like my meter's actually up.
Speaker 1:It's facial fetishes.
Speaker 2:Oh interesting, I never realized that facial and racial are just one letter off. Usually, like the, you know, the last part of the word is like the root of it. So I wonder what that means If you're racial and facial.
Speaker 3:Have you ever given a racial facial I?
Speaker 2:don't think so. I think I just got canceled. It was nice knowing you guys Thanks so much. Oh my God, I wasn't wearing blackface, it was a racial facial Okay.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:I'm not a skincare expert.
Speaker 1:I know we all have to go Sondra, you're on your own.
Speaker 2:My parking's up. I'm getting a ticket.
Speaker 1:All right, so the reason why I slash ChatGPT picked this is because I asked it for some strange sort of topics. Oh, you're fine. So what we're going to look at a little bit and you don't have to stick to the topic 100, um is, and what time do we need to be like about uh, 220, 220. What time is it right now?
Speaker 2:okay, hold on um 19.
Speaker 1:Will you let me know, like sort of. So I okay, we're going, okay cool, all right. So um so the reason why this topic is interesting is because especially women seem to love watching skincare. I don't know, do you watch skincare? I like ads. You watch ads? Okay?
Speaker 3:yeah, because you're forced to instagram you know what I like to do, god, why am I talking um? It's a podcast I like to just scroll and then look at the ads and then look at the comments.
Speaker 1:Oh, right and see like what, like if people believe in it, or yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Or like just what people say.
Speaker 2:Who's talking shit about it? Exactly yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, who's talking shit? Yeah, that should be a movie.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, asmr videos is what I think I was born with. Talking about Like people do. Dr Pimple Popper oh yeah, I can't. I can't either, and I'm an esthetician and I do that for a living and I can't watch it on camera. I don't mind doing it, but I can't watch it. It's so gross to me. So gross, but yeah, like the sound of pimple pumping or slapping.
Speaker 2:Oh, really that's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, or even people watching the massage.
Speaker 3:You know, they're like yes, oh no. That makes me angry.
Speaker 1:Glad you picked this topic. Tell me more why that makes you angry.
Speaker 3:I don't, I think I don't like noise.
Speaker 2:You don't even like sounds, you're like it's noise, it's noise, it's a silent movie all the way.
Speaker 3:What about?
Speaker 2:if you hear like lip smacking, like couples kissing in movies or something like that.
Speaker 3:Why are they doing that? To me it's like yeah, what is this porn?
Speaker 2:I never hear yeah, it's like why is this? You're slurping. Yeah, what is this?
Speaker 1:It's so bizarre.
Speaker 2:If we're kissing, I don't hear that, but if somebody else is, I'm just like oh God, no, go literally get a room away from me, so I don't hear it so you don't like asmr either.
Speaker 1:I'm not really, I don't think I really meant to it I guess there's certain ones that I might like like, um, I'm trying to think of what they are, but some people do whispering, some people do like, uh, this, this is like a big thing, a big no-no for for so I'm like, is it people?
Speaker 3:are they talking about me?
Speaker 2:that's hilarious. It's very possible asmr is too sneaky why are you whispering?
Speaker 1:um, yeah well, I guess part of facial asmr is I guess it's caring intimacy without touch. So some people, like you, might not want to hear things, but some people there are people who don't want to be touched.
Speaker 3:So maybe that's their. Avoid it I might be avoiding, you might be avoiding my therapist. One of your.
Speaker 1:One of my favorite jokes of yours is how like your arms are to to like swat children away for from you oh yeah, that's my stepmother joke yeah, that's very avoidant yeah, I guess that's one perspective that's the only one I saw, because I've had step parents, okay. So I guess ASMR helps to reduce your heart rate, so maybe that's why people do it.
Speaker 2:I like sounds. I think I like sounds of things like Velcro, but when people make sounds like the chewing or that, that's a big one for you, that I can't. Oh, I grew up, my dad hated it so much that, like I grew up, I couldn't. When I chew food, I have to keep my mouth shut. Um, and then, as he got older, he did it his entire life and I was, and then I hated him. So it's just, it's a cycle. It's a cycle, it's a.
Speaker 1:It's a tire that keeps on rolling well, apparently 30 of people are asm, are ASMR responsive, I guess, is the word. What did you say? I don't know, I don't want to hear it anymore. Okay yeah, I hate that. I hate that. I hate myself for doing that. Could you close your ears?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like sounds of nature and things like that.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I wonder if that's considered ASMR. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you're sitting in a field or like a park and you're hearing birds or you hear like little chipmunks chittering or whatever they do, as long as they're not whispering, they're talking about you God. I wish they would just speak up, or don't.
Speaker 1:Just tell them to my face. Like the birds are keeping secrets from you. So passive, aggressive, well, apparently skin is ASMR. It mimics caregiving behavior and it's sensual and even I just hate the word sensual, soft and personal, and so Nourishing wholesome.
Speaker 2:Oh God, nurturing is another one that was up there, yeah, I hate all of those words.
Speaker 1:So I guess that's maybe why none of us are into the ASMRs.
Speaker 3:Yeah, interesting, there's bunny rabbits. I don't know what it is, I don't mind listening to like a bunny rabbit eat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, you hear, like the animals, it's cute. Yeah, that's considered ASMR.
Speaker 3:Oh, is it? Mm-hmm? Okay, well, maybe as long as it's not a human.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah that's asmr, can I?
Speaker 1:swear sorry, yes, you can. You asked afterwards oh my god, okay, yeah, that's pretty much all that we had for the asmr. I did very short podcast.
Speaker 3:Uh, topics today no I'm glad to know that other people feel this way, because when I'm scrolling, I I'm be angry, you be angry, yeah, I'm just like well, yeah, I don't want to be assaulted with other people's noises yeah I think that's.
Speaker 1:It's too much for me to handle it, it feels like it's forced intimacy and I don't want it yeah how did it start was?
Speaker 2:Was it like? I feel like it started with some guy who just was getting off on some girl whispering and it all springboarded from there into something else.
Speaker 1:How did it go into skincare though?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I think it starts somewhere with a guy being the depraved lunatic like they are. You know what they say about men in a room with two seconds and no one else there. Yeah, they either create a nuclear weapon or they just you know, they figure out a way to assault somebody. Yeah, or both, or both, yeah, exactly, oh my god, nuclear weapon nuclear, uh, asmr, oh yeah, you know like little, like tiny little mushroom clouds, I don't know why I'm saying no mushroom.
Speaker 1:Mushrooms definitely need to be involved in that, though yes, absolutely, I feel like I'm gonna burp. Is that considered asmr?
Speaker 3:if you do it, if you whisper it, okay, actually I think it is I didn't mind that you didn't mind that maybe it's people I don't know doing oh, okay, maybe people. I know maybe I like it. It's so funny like a specific niche of like Maybe it's people I know, maybe I like it. It's so funny Like a specific niche.
Speaker 2:I'm like it's like it's people that I know that are doing something and then, yeah, I guess it has to be. Maybe it's like a if it's somebody and I see their face and they're going and I'm like, all right, what do you? It's too much.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But there's certain things I guess yeah, maybe like yeah, I'm never going to if I hear leaves crunching.
Speaker 1:I think that would be good. No, that's different, that's nice. Yeah, right yeah.
Speaker 2:So what exactly do you mean? Like what do you say? It's like the facial, like the fetish of it. Basically, in a sense of like kind of making it like a making it like a thing. Where it's like, it becomes like a ritual.
Speaker 1:It's either. It's either something that's a turn on to them or it's something that's soothing. Oh, okay, okay so things like hearing, things like scratching, you know like I don't know if you can hear that.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So when you would do that thing, like, like because I do facial massage like snap your fingers against the thing.
Speaker 2:So that would that feeling like having you do that and then also feel us hearing it is kind of is very soothing it feels like you're getting something done, like you're actually something's happening to you yeah like, oh my god, this person's snapping their fingers. You know they're really working. I have to give you a facial sometime by the way I love that. Yeah, that's awesome yeah and then I never had one. And then asmr facial or just for me.
Speaker 1:Well, both okay.
Speaker 3:You've never had a facial in your life no, oh my god, I've had just like massage, where they do so they yeah, like, like a lymphatic drainage massage or just like relax, just to relax. Okay, because I do lymphatic drainage massage.
Speaker 1:We got to okay, um and uh, so it like de-puffs not that you need it, um, but also like uh, yeah, it helps to lift and tone the facial muscles and go inside your jaw. Yeah, I have a feeling that you probably get in my jaw.
Speaker 3:Yeah, not avoiding now?
Speaker 2:not avoiding now. Yeah, yeah, that's a. That's a huge spot that I had tons of like.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, all of your emotion is so much emotion is stored in your jaw. Everything you don't say yeah, I feel like more women than men generally have it.
Speaker 2:Um, but sandra has the tightest jaw of any person I've ever felt which was shocking to me I don't think that I've ever like woken up with like my mouth being sore or anything like that, or my, my, I don't grind my teeth, but I'm guessing well, during the day without realizing it. Nikki's like are you tense?
Speaker 1:I'm like no Cause, and then she's like I can see like the little pulsation in his jaw Like I guess subconsciously or just unconsciously, I just yeah, but then you say, no, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Speaker 3:He's not fine, then he's doing ASMR behind your back. Exactly.
Speaker 2:So, cheating and then, like I watch you while you walk in the room and it's a guy going he's just grunting with his teeth. It's like, why do you listen? That's like the terrible ASMR Somebody just growling into the microphone.
Speaker 1:Disgusting.
Speaker 2:It is disgusting. I don't go on youtube ever, except to watch videos um, so you've never.
Speaker 1:I still can't believe you've never had a facial. Yeah, you have such beautiful skin. If you're listening and not watching, pamela, you have like. Your skin is perfect.
Speaker 3:Thank you, it's mine, it's mine, I grew it all yours.
Speaker 2:I did grow it. Yeah, people outsource their skin and I'm glad to know that some people don't. People are keeping it in-house.
Speaker 3:I like it, american made, yeah, union made, oh my.
Speaker 1:God, you're such a patriot and I love that about you, yeah.
Speaker 2:People are spending all this tariff money on new skin.
Speaker 1:Yeah, on her chin. I just pointed to my jaw that the chin is over here if you're listening and not looking, uh, good for you.
Speaker 2:Nikki knows exactly where every part of her face is she does know, um, well, what so?
Speaker 1:anything happening that you want to tell us about, since we ran out of asmr topics? Um, what are you doing lately? What am I doing? Yeah, where were you at 9-11?
Speaker 3:yeah, I can't talk about that without a lawyer.
Speaker 1:President see, that's good I wasn't born yet oh my god, that's right, I forgot. Yes, see, that's good, that's that's that's the best response.
Speaker 2:All right, that checks out pre-fetal.
Speaker 1:It's pre-fetal. Did you say? I like that? Yeah, yeah, is that what pf chang stands for? I think it's pre-fetal. Pre-fetal, did you say? I like that? Yeah, is that what pf chang stands for?
Speaker 2:I think it's pre-fetal, pre-fetal chang. He's not even born yet. No, wow, I think it says something diarrhea, but there's no d in there because it's pf chang. That's why I said diarrhea how we get to diarrhea.
Speaker 1:Every fourth podcast, I think. Well, it used to be every podcast.
Speaker 2:It's just the movement, it's just okay, anyways so we'll be right back, yeah pamela, last time I talked to you you were uh. Were you half and half living, or are you going back and forth in a desert? Was that last time I talked to pam she looked half dead and I love that. Are you half and half living? It's like no, I just wanted creamer she's living on half and half.
Speaker 1:Wait, you were in the desert part of the time. Tell me more and what was the?
Speaker 2:so you were going back and forth to the, to the desert.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm still thinking the question.
Speaker 2:The question ASMR the question was am I I'm gonna vomit?
Speaker 1:I know, try keeping it in there um if I was half.
Speaker 3:I'm still thinking. The question is am I half living? I'm trying to come up with an answer. Um oh no, I well, I was just going to the desert. A lot gotcha yeah, gotcha.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're out there, aren't you? Yeah, we're actually, we're both out there now. Um, oh no, I well, I was just going to the desert a lot. Oh, okay, gotcha, yeah, gotcha yeah.
Speaker 3:You're out there, aren't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're actually we're, we're both out there now, oh cool. And that's the thing Cause I was thinking about like cause that's the place where you said like the ASMR and like kind of in nature when you're out in those places, like that's not even deliberate, it's not like you know somebody's slowing, it's like you know animals just slowly shuffling around you slowly, so then you're like they're just doing their thing. But even that silence and then maybe the wind hitting up there's like a certain um calm, it's soothing. I don't think it would turn me on, but I think it's soothing. So it's not like a facial fetish, no, but it definitely has like a very soothingness to it. So I think it is definitely asmr that was the question right.
Speaker 3:I, like you, know what I'm realizing. I think like in the desert. Maybe I would be okay with ams, or maybe it's like a hyper vigilance city living thing where my nervous system, everything's a threat, like there's so many sounds that we don't have any choice but to hear them because of the city, because you're absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's true, it's forced on you, yeah, I just came back.
Speaker 1:We have a house. Not, it's hot. Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, in the desert we're just doing what I want to say online, because you know Saunders is going to get stalkers well, if I is the thing, if I, if I, if I say the city, then I have to give the parcel number and I'm not doing that, so it's not gonna happen but the difference between the night there and the night.
Speaker 1:It's like when I came back here um last, was it last night I think so I feel so surreal, it's so quiet, and then I come here and it's like I can hear everybody's conversation yeah like you know the police, the helicopters, you know it's just, it's, it's so different and I'm sure you've experienced the same thing, oh yeah, and I come back, like I just went to Taos and I came back.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I came back and I was like I just meditated and did you know, just did stuff like that all day and I was so calm and so centered. And then within a day I was like I'm going to fucking stab you.
Speaker 1:You're the person I was hearing outside my window. I think murdering somebody yeah, my free time yeah I like it as long as you make time, yeah that's true well, yeah, but I like that about, I've always liked that about you is that you? I can tell that you have that inside of you and I and you seem like the kind of person somewhat like myself where, like, there's just too much stimulation.
Speaker 3:Yeah city.
Speaker 1:Why did you choose? Just because of like comedy and acting and stuff like that torture myself, so I know I'm alive.
Speaker 3:Yeah um, I don't know why I chose here and I used to think la was mellow. And finally I'm like, oh yeah, no, there's like just this constant level of stress yeah, it's just undercurrent of stress, always and everybody else is smiling and breathing.
Speaker 2:You know, doing it was still, it was still sold I felt like it was still being sold as like this like pot town, not a drinking town yeah, but like hey man, yeah, hey man, get the fuck out of my way, dude. Hey man, just chill out, you're in my fucking way, like that kind of like. Yeah, I felt kind of like. Both sides it's definitely bizarre.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's an asmr I don't want to be a part of no, do you have a place out there too, or do you just go and hang out, just your guys?
Speaker 2:yeah, we definitely want to have you out we have.
Speaker 1:Our house has an extra bedroom as soon as we get a free bed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, as soon as facebook marketplace, I show up at your door with my bed. Oh my god, please, do, please, that would be amazing. Carry a full size on your back no, I, um, I don't have a place out there. I'd love to. I mean, I think I, if I think, if I did, I'd actually probably spend more time out there than here at this point, like I don't know if it's like I'm, I don't know, I'm very, very young, but I have started listening to jazz and I enjoy quiet.
Speaker 1:So you know, I don't know, You're going to tipping to the other side now Tipping to the other side.
Speaker 3:I like that. Yeah, getting ready.
Speaker 2:I like jazz too, because it is more rock and roll than you think, because they don't even know what they're going to do. It's good to listen to. Exactly Even the recorded tracks. It's like what's gonna happen here? Yeah, it's you know we didn't be sure. Absolutely, jazz is like the best yeah, because it has that, it's calming, and then it has the highs um all right, we're giving, we're getting a uh signal that we got a two minute uh warning here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they have to.
Speaker 2:They're, they're, I think they're. Was it? Uh, flea weasels, what they're they're, I think they're. They're smoking the building for flea weasels. I'm not really sure they have to get us out of here. I think it's weasel fleas, weasel fleas. Yeah, pam Pamela, oh yeah, where do we find?
Speaker 1:you.
Speaker 3:Take two yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Where can people find you on the socials?
Speaker 3:There's so many underscores.
Speaker 1:I don't know why I did this. You have a minutes, so go for it. It's like the Gettysburg.
Speaker 3:Address, all underscore Gettysburg Address. You can't read this thing. It's house underscore of underscore pancakes that's easy, though that's not so hard it's a lot, though, like after shows, and people are like I want to follow you and I'm like, okay, buckle up.
Speaker 1:I'm like are you sure? Because I'm so tired I don't want to have to tell you yeah. So House of Pam Cakes. Definitely follow Pam what else you got? He's usually the one that wraps us up.
Speaker 2:I usually wrap it up no, thank you so much for being here it's so good to see you.
Speaker 1:we want to hang out with you. Yeah, it's always good to see you. It's always good to see you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like always like. It's like we don't see each other. It's like once people are like friends. We don't see each other as often, but when you do it's just like right back to like.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you remember that open mic I hated.
Speaker 3:Santa Monica.
Speaker 1:Did you host one there on Santa Monica, like near that? It was, sal's was on Santa Monica for the longest time that was on Melrose. Yeah, no different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was. Oh, that's right, that was Melrose. What was Santa Monica's Mike?
Speaker 1:I don't remember. It's near a restaurant.
Speaker 3:Oh, I do remember that wine place. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, the Vinador, Is that the one?
Speaker 1:I'm thinking of yeah, next to the Russian restaurant.
Speaker 3:You are sponsored by them, right? Yeah?
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Please come back.
Speaker 1:Please don't leave. Thank you so much We'll see you guys next week Bye.
