{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":0.0,"endTime":12.75,"body":"Hello everyone, welcome"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":0.0,"endTime":12.75,"body":"back to transcending humanity."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":12.75,"endTime":17.22,"body":"This is episode nine. I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":12.75,"endTime":17.22,"body":"Vanessa. As you know, our topic"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":17.22,"endTime":22.05,"body":"this week is the trans femme"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":17.22,"endTime":22.05,"body":"side of transitioning last week"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":22.05,"endTime":25.89,"body":"was the transmac side. So I have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":22.05,"endTime":25.89,"body":"two lovely ladies with me here"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":25.89,"endTime":29.88,"body":"today. As always, please"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":25.89,"endTime":29.88,"body":"remember to like, comment,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":29.88,"endTime":32.76,"body":"subscribe, rate and do all those"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":29.88,"endTime":32.76,"body":"things on whatever platform"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":32.76,"endTime":36.75,"body":"you're watching, listening, if"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":32.76,"endTime":36.75,"body":"you hear this from everybody, so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":36.75,"endTime":40.92,"body":"whatever, just do it, please"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":36.75,"endTime":40.92,"body":"help us grow. I know I'm a jerk."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":42.3,"endTime":45.06,"body":"So this is gonna be part one of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":42.3,"endTime":45.06,"body":"the trans fam. We're going to be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":45.06,"endTime":48.78,"body":"doing a part two later. I don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":45.06,"endTime":48.78,"body":"know when and we also will be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":48.78,"endTime":54.36,"body":"doing a part two of the trans"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":48.78,"endTime":54.36,"body":"mask. So I will let my two co"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":54.36,"endTime":59.34,"body":"hosts today. We have our guest,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":54.36,"endTime":59.34,"body":"Marcia. New host joining us,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":59.34,"endTime":64.2,"body":"Taryn. I just go alphabetical so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":59.34,"endTime":64.2,"body":"sorry, Taryn. Marcia starts with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":64.2,"endTime":64.74,"body":"an M."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":65.069,"endTime":67.679,"body":"All right. Hi,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":65.069,"endTime":67.679,"body":"everybody. My name is Marcia."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":67.709,"endTime":74.219,"body":"Marcia darling. I am 1/3 of the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":67.709,"endTime":74.219,"body":"hosts of trans spotting. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":74.219,"endTime":76.829,"body":"really excited to be here today"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":74.219,"endTime":76.829,"body":"talking with Vanessa, we've"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":76.829,"endTime":79.739,"body":"known each other a little while."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":76.829,"endTime":79.739,"body":"It's my first time meeting,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":79.739,"endTime":81.869,"body":"Taryn. So this is really fun."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":79.739,"endTime":81.869,"body":"See"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":82.38,"endTime":84.0,"body":"here, and I guess"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":82.38,"endTime":84.0,"body":"you're up, Taryn!."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":84.6,"endTime":87.63,"body":"Okay. Sorry, I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":84.6,"endTime":87.63,"body":"waiting for a cue or something."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":88.47,"endTime":89.31,"body":"Wedon't do that here."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":90.3,"endTime":91.17,"body":"Oh, my God, really?"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":92.28,"endTime":94.92,"body":"I guess I should say a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":92.28,"endTime":94.92,"body":"little bit more about myself so"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":94.92,"endTime":101.82,"body":"people can get an idea of what I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":94.92,"endTime":101.82,"body":"Yeah. Let's see. I live in a red"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":101.82,"endTime":109.86,"body":"state. I am a inventor. I am a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":101.82,"endTime":109.86,"body":"thespian, I am an athlete. I am"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":109.86,"endTime":114.15,"body":"a musician. I'm not very"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":109.86,"endTime":114.15,"body":"talented at very many things."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":116.43,"endTime":120.75,"body":"But I do like cooking. And I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":116.43,"endTime":120.75,"body":"spend a lot of time talking"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":120.75,"endTime":125.61,"body":"about politics and trans issues."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":120.75,"endTime":125.61,"body":"I'm an advocate for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":125.91,"endTime":130.53,"body":"homeschoolers, and people who"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":125.91,"endTime":130.53,"body":"have deconstructed their"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":130.53,"endTime":135.3,"body":"religion. And yeah, I'm trans."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":130.53,"endTime":135.3,"body":"Also, I'm trans fam. I've been"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":135.3,"endTime":137.88,"body":"transitioning for a little over"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":135.3,"endTime":137.88,"body":"a year now. So that's really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":137.88,"endTime":141.15,"body":"fun. I'm really, really, it's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":137.88,"endTime":141.15,"body":"been the best thing that I've"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":141.15,"endTime":144.6,"body":"ever done for myself. People"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":141.15,"endTime":144.6,"body":"asked me if I'm happier now. And"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":144.6,"endTime":148.95,"body":"I say, Well, to me,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":144.6,"endTime":148.95,"body":"transitioning was the light that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":148.95,"endTime":152.76,"body":"allowed me to see happiness and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":148.95,"endTime":152.76,"body":"recognize it. There was a lot of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":152.76,"endTime":155.85,"body":"times that I thought that I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":152.76,"endTime":155.85,"body":"happy before my transition, and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":155.85,"endTime":159.06,"body":"I would have said that I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":155.85,"endTime":159.06,"body":"happy. But compared to where I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":159.06,"endTime":162.27,"body":"am now that was like happiness."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":159.06,"endTime":162.27,"body":"It was just a dim shade of the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":162.27,"endTime":165.51,"body":"happiness that I can feel now."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":162.27,"endTime":165.51,"body":"Life is harder in a lot of ways,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":165.51,"endTime":167.49,"body":"but I'd never trade it never go"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":165.51,"endTime":167.49,"body":"back."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":167.61,"endTime":171.48,"body":"Okay, that's really"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":167.61,"endTime":171.48,"body":"fucking well said. eautiful."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":174.3,"endTime":175.71,"body":"Yeah, could like following that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":174.3,"endTime":175.71,"body":"up."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":176.67,"endTime":179.28,"body":"Taryn Talley, pronouns"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":176.67,"endTime":179.28,"body":"she/her. Um..."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":179.31,"endTime":182.22,"body":"Oh yeah, sorry. My"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":179.31,"endTime":182.22,"body":"pronouns are she they? I forgot"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":182.22,"endTime":182.67,"body":"to say,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":183.21,"endTime":186.75,"body":"no worries. So I've been"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":183.21,"endTime":186.75,"body":"in creative in marketing for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":186.75,"endTime":192.69,"body":"like over a quarter of a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":186.75,"endTime":192.69,"body":"century. I'm super old. I work"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":192.72,"endTime":196.5,"body":"at in 2019. I started"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":192.72,"endTime":196.5,"body":"transitioning at the age of 50."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":197.82,"endTime":202.47,"body":"MRC, I also agree and like, you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":197.82,"endTime":202.47,"body":"know, life was like, kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":202.47,"endTime":206.49,"body":"like black and white TV. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":202.47,"endTime":206.49,"body":"then transitioning. Yes, there"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":206.49,"endTime":209.52,"body":"are challenges and the journey"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":206.49,"endTime":209.52,"body":"can be hard and difficult. But I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":209.52,"endTime":212.94,"body":"feel like I live in a world of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":209.52,"endTime":212.94,"body":"color. So for me, I'm Head of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":212.94,"endTime":215.46,"body":"Marketing at a growth marketing"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":212.94,"endTime":215.46,"body":"agency in the Bay Area, loving"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":215.46,"endTime":219.69,"body":"California loving the Bay Area."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":215.46,"endTime":219.69,"body":"And just the community that's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":219.69,"endTime":223.86,"body":"around this area. I tried to be"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":219.69,"endTime":223.86,"body":"a positive voice for both trans"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":223.86,"endTime":230.25,"body":"LGBTQ two P two s IA Two Spirit,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":223.86,"endTime":230.25,"body":"I want to add that in there. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":230.25,"endTime":233.43,"body":"indigenous issues. I also"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":230.25,"endTime":233.43,"body":"politically active and do some"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":233.43,"endTime":235.89,"body":"work. I used to do a lot of work"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":233.43,"endTime":235.89,"body":"on Twitter, and now I've moved"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":235.89,"endTime":238.71,"body":"to other platforms. But yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":235.89,"endTime":238.71,"body":"just trying to be a positive"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":238.71,"endTime":242.67,"body":"voice for the community and kind"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":238.71,"endTime":242.67,"body":"of just help people or be"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":242.67,"endTime":246.69,"body":"someone who can listen. So happy"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":242.67,"endTime":246.69,"body":"to be joining the podcast and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":247.02,"endTime":249.75,"body":"just love the mission and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":247.02,"endTime":249.75,"body":"looking forward to contributing."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":249.87,"endTime":252.99,"body":"Well, thank you. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":249.87,"endTime":252.99,"body":"we have I liked the script"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":252.99,"endTime":255.12,"body":"tonight. I think we're gonna I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":252.99,"endTime":255.12,"body":"think we're gonna have some fun."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":255.72,"endTime":261.84,"body":"So let's dive right in. It's so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":255.72,"endTime":261.84,"body":"I mean, we have a number of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":261.84,"endTime":264.96,"body":"topics. I just have kind of a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":261.84,"endTime":264.96,"body":"rough outline, but I think we"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":264.96,"endTime":268.89,"body":"can also just kind of just talk"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":264.96,"endTime":268.89,"body":"as well. But"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":270.78,"endTime":273.06,"body":"let's have the topic and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":270.78,"endTime":273.06,"body":"find out where the Okay,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":273.15,"endTime":277.56,"body":"so the first topic I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":273.15,"endTime":277.56,"body":"have is binding therapists,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":278.43,"endTime":282.3,"body":"which is obviously rather"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":278.43,"endTime":282.3,"body":"difficult for our communities,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":282.3,"endTime":287.94,"body":"especially in red states, like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":282.3,"endTime":287.94,"body":"Marcia and myself. I was lucky"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":287.94,"endTime":293.1,"body":"enough to find one but"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":287.94,"endTime":293.1,"body":"annoyingly, the rules say that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":293.1,"endTime":299.31,"body":"we have to have letters from"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":293.1,"endTime":299.31,"body":"therapists in order to do any of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":299.31,"endTime":303.93,"body":"our Meet Do your gender for me"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":299.31,"endTime":303.93,"body":"things. So What experiences have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":303.93,"endTime":307.2,"body":"you to head with trying to find"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":303.93,"endTime":307.2,"body":"therapists to do all that?"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":308.16,"endTime":311.76,"body":"I have a feeling that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":308.16,"endTime":311.76,"body":"our experience is in this are"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":311.76,"endTime":315.09,"body":"going to be very different, just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":311.76,"endTime":315.09,"body":"in the two different worlds that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":315.09,"endTime":318.09,"body":"we live in. So I'm excited to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":315.09,"endTime":318.09,"body":"talk about it. Okay, great. Do"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":318.09,"endTime":319.26,"body":"you want to go first, Taryn?"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":319.98,"endTime":324.93,"body":"Yeah, sure. So I did. Um,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":319.98,"endTime":324.93,"body":"for me, therapy was more like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":325.53,"endTime":330.87,"body":"unpacking what I had to do and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":325.53,"endTime":330.87,"body":"start on the road. So I did"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":330.87,"endTime":334.98,"body":"therapy. So transitioning and 50"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":330.87,"endTime":334.98,"body":"Starting HRT, September, I think"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":334.98,"endTime":339.81,"body":"this year, it's September is my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":334.98,"endTime":339.81,"body":"fifth year. So starting HRT in"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":339.84,"endTime":345.81,"body":"2018. I basically needed just to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":339.84,"endTime":345.81,"body":"see a therapist and start HRT."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":345.96,"endTime":350.58,"body":"But prior to that, as I was kind"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":345.96,"endTime":350.58,"body":"of understanding who I was, and,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":351.0,"endTime":354.9,"body":"like who I am authentically, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":351.0,"endTime":354.9,"body":"saw two. So I was from a blue"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":354.9,"endTime":358.5,"body":"state also, originally, so from"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":354.9,"endTime":358.5,"body":"East Coast, born in Delaware, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":358.5,"endTime":362.16,"body":"lived in Delaware in New York."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":358.5,"endTime":362.16,"body":"So I was fortunate to find two"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":362.16,"endTime":366.24,"body":"amazing gender therapist in"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":362.16,"endTime":366.24,"body":"Delaware. That helped me unpack"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":366.27,"endTime":369.66,"body":"everything I had to unpack, and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":366.27,"endTime":369.66,"body":"finally kind of stepped forward"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":369.66,"endTime":374.91,"body":"and no, understand who I am at"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":369.66,"endTime":374.91,"body":"the core. Right. And that was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":374.91,"endTime":377.46,"body":"life changing for me. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":374.91,"endTime":377.46,"body":"something I always direct people"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":377.46,"endTime":380.88,"body":"to is like, talk to that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":377.46,"endTime":380.88,"body":"therapist, work this out, do the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":380.88,"endTime":384.45,"body":"work. For me coming out here in"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":380.88,"endTime":384.45,"body":"California that put you on HRT"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":384.51,"endTime":387.18,"body":"go see a therapist, I'm like, no"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":384.51,"endTime":387.18,"body":"problem. How did like 20 minute"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":387.18,"endTime":389.25,"body":"conversation, they're like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":387.18,"endTime":389.25,"body":"here's your estrogen. Here's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":389.25,"endTime":393.0,"body":"your Spironolactone and walked"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":389.25,"endTime":393.0,"body":"right out. It was kind of a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":393.0,"endTime":395.85,"body":"little bit easy peasy out here."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":393.0,"endTime":395.85,"body":"But I'm sure it's a lot"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":395.88,"endTime":398.49,"body":"different. Marcia, where where"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":395.88,"endTime":398.49,"body":"you're from, or where you're"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":398.49,"endTime":398.82,"body":"living?"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":400.17,"endTime":402.33,"body":"Yeah, it depends. I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":400.17,"endTime":402.33,"body":"actually started my transition"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":402.33,"endTime":404.7,"body":"when I was living in Washington"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":402.33,"endTime":404.7,"body":"State, which makes it really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":404.7,"endTime":408.33,"body":"easy to get started. Because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":404.7,"endTime":408.33,"body":"Washington State is one of the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":408.33,"endTime":410.91,"body":"best places in the world to be"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":408.33,"endTime":410.91,"body":"trans honestly, because it's an"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":410.91,"endTime":413.85,"body":"informed consent state. So they"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":410.91,"endTime":413.85,"body":"just let you know what it's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":413.85,"endTime":415.98,"body":"going to do to you. They ask if"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":413.85,"endTime":415.98,"body":"that's what you want? And you're"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":415.98,"endTime":420.24,"body":"like, Yeah, of course it is. And"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":415.98,"endTime":420.24,"body":"then they then my doctor, I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":420.48,"endTime":426.66,"body":"Okay, yeah. Let's back up a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":420.48,"endTime":426.66,"body":"little bit. Because the first I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":426.66,"endTime":430.05,"body":"actually had a really easy time"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":426.66,"endTime":430.05,"body":"finding a therapist, and I went"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":430.05,"endTime":435.33,"body":"to a website called the secular"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":430.05,"endTime":435.33,"body":"therapy project.org, which is a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":435.33,"endTime":438.81,"body":"little offshoot of a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":435.33,"endTime":438.81,"body":"organization that I volunteer"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":438.81,"endTime":443.1,"body":"with called the recovering from"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":438.81,"endTime":443.1,"body":"Religion Foundation. And I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":443.64,"endTime":445.71,"body":"wanted to go there, because I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":443.64,"endTime":445.71,"body":"wanted to make sure that I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":445.71,"endTime":448.35,"body":"wasn't going to be getting a lot"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":445.71,"endTime":448.35,"body":"of religious nonsense in my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":448.35,"endTime":453.21,"body":"therapy, which the previous"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":448.35,"endTime":453.21,"body":"therapy I had had in my life was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":453.21,"endTime":456.84,"body":"a lot of religious nonsense, and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":453.21,"endTime":456.84,"body":"none of it had helped. And I had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":456.84,"endTime":459.21,"body":"gone to many, many different"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":456.84,"endTime":459.21,"body":"therapists, and they all were"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":459.21,"endTime":461.16,"body":"like, you just need to get right"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":459.21,"endTime":461.16,"body":"with Jesus, you need to get"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":461.16,"endTime":463.86,"body":"right with God. So I said, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":461.16,"endTime":463.86,"body":"well, that is what I will do."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":464.31,"endTime":466.89,"body":"And then obviously, that ended"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":464.31,"endTime":466.89,"body":"up not helping at all, because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":466.89,"endTime":471.21,"body":"it's not real. I mean, at this"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":466.89,"endTime":471.21,"body":"point, it's not real advice. And"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":471.21,"endTime":474.9,"body":"so And plus, there's not any"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":471.21,"endTime":474.9,"body":"science or evidence based, you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":474.9,"endTime":478.35,"body":"know, material behind it. So all"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":474.9,"endTime":478.35,"body":"of those were pretty useless."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":478.38,"endTime":480.93,"body":"And so I finally ended up"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":478.38,"endTime":480.93,"body":"getting my first therapist"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":481.26,"endTime":485.85,"body":"through that website, who ended"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":481.26,"endTime":485.85,"body":"up being a gender and sexuality"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":485.85,"endTime":489.24,"body":"therapist, which ended up being"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":485.85,"endTime":489.24,"body":"exactly what I needed."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":490.59,"endTime":491.34,"body":"But"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":492.51,"endTime":494.91,"body":"they're very specific with the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":492.51,"endTime":494.91,"body":"people that they vet on that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":494.91,"endTime":497.91,"body":"website. And so I'm pretty sure"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":494.91,"endTime":497.91,"body":"I would recommend anybody who"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":497.91,"endTime":501.45,"body":"was on there. Um, generally,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":497.91,"endTime":501.45,"body":"that websites for people who are"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":501.45,"endTime":504.0,"body":"recovering with religious"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":501.45,"endTime":504.0,"body":"trauma, which I was at the time,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":504.03,"endTime":507.63,"body":"and then having it be a happy"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":504.03,"endTime":507.63,"body":"accident that my therapist"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":507.63,"endTime":511.74,"body":"turned out to know about trans"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":507.63,"endTime":511.74,"body":"issues, and religious trauma"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":511.74,"endTime":513.93,"body":"issues was was really, really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":511.74,"endTime":513.93,"body":"useful."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":514.289,"endTime":517.379,"body":"Alright, see, you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":514.289,"endTime":517.379,"body":"scored the gold mine there."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":518.76,"endTime":521.31,"body":"I was very specific in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":518.76,"endTime":521.31,"body":"the way that I started looking,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":521.31,"endTime":524.19,"body":"I did the same thing for my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":521.31,"endTime":524.19,"body":"doctor, because I know a lot of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":524.19,"endTime":526.56,"body":"doctors can be really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":524.19,"endTime":526.56,"body":"gatekeeping about the way that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":526.56,"endTime":530.76,"body":"they allow trans patients and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":526.56,"endTime":530.76,"body":"things like that. So I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":530.76,"endTime":533.13,"body":"searching around the area trying"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":530.76,"endTime":533.13,"body":"to find like, Are there any"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":533.13,"endTime":536.64,"body":"doctors that talk about LGBTQ"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":533.13,"endTime":536.64,"body":"issues are anywhere and there"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":536.64,"endTime":539.1,"body":"was one who was showing up in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":536.64,"endTime":539.1,"body":"podcasts talking about how"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":539.1,"endTime":541.98,"body":"important it is. And so I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":539.1,"endTime":541.98,"body":"started going to her and she's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":541.98,"endTime":546.21,"body":"lesbian and she's been"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":541.98,"endTime":546.21,"body":"absolutely wonderful. And so"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":546.21,"endTime":551.07,"body":"unlike there are no matter where"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":546.21,"endTime":551.07,"body":"you are, you're going to be able"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":551.07,"endTime":555.18,"body":"to find those people. With me it"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":551.07,"endTime":555.18,"body":"was just a few internet searches"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":555.18,"endTime":558.93,"body":"and then listening to people and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":555.18,"endTime":558.93,"body":"finding the right places to look"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":559.47,"endTime":563.52,"body":"other people it might be hearing"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":559.47,"endTime":563.52,"body":"it from a friend or somebody"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":563.52,"endTime":568.47,"body":"like that so but there's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":563.52,"endTime":568.47,"body":"resources out there there's a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":568.47,"endTime":571.5,"body":"lot more resources out there"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":568.47,"endTime":571.5,"body":"then people know"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":571.6,"endTime":574.18,"body":"if they're definitely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":571.6,"endTime":574.18,"body":"are definitely going to be sure"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":574.18,"endTime":577.15,"body":"to share those sites that you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":574.18,"endTime":577.15,"body":"told me."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":581.05,"endTime":582.4,"body":"I'll just send them"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":581.05,"endTime":582.4,"body":"later"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":582.4,"endTime":584.86,"body":"Yeah, just send them to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":582.4,"endTime":584.86,"body":"me in a DM so because I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":584.86,"endTime":586.51,"body":"definitely will wanna put those"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":584.86,"endTime":586.51,"body":"in the description."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":587.83,"endTime":590.62,"body":"I have a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":587.83,"endTime":590.62,"body":"of a challenge with just some"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":590.62,"endTime":594.49,"body":"part of the Kaiser system. The"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":590.62,"endTime":594.49,"body":"Kaiser is like the most for me"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":594.52,"endTime":599.59,"body":"most transparently health"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":594.52,"endTime":599.59,"body":"insurance. So you know, I have"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":599.59,"endTime":604.0,"body":"had experience in California,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":599.59,"endTime":604.0,"body":"were just getting a PCP and walk"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":604.0,"endTime":608.2,"body":"into their office and just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":604.0,"endTime":608.2,"body":"presenting in there, like, never"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":608.2,"endTime":610.96,"body":"really treated anybody like you,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":608.2,"endTime":610.96,"body":"you might want to go see"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":610.96,"endTime":614.74,"body":"somebody else. And then I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":610.96,"endTime":614.74,"body":"finally found a great doctor"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":614.74,"endTime":619.27,"body":"whose child is trapped. And he"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":614.74,"endTime":619.27,"body":"just click this healthcare"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":619.27,"endTime":623.02,"body":"system like, six months ago, and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":619.27,"endTime":623.02,"body":"I got a guy who I think got his"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":623.02,"endTime":628.87,"body":"medical degree in 1958. And my,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":623.02,"endTime":628.87,"body":"like, first real meeting with"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":628.87,"endTime":631.81,"body":"him, he's like, Hey, never"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":628.87,"endTime":631.81,"body":"really treat anybody like you."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":633.04,"endTime":635.47,"body":"It's gonna be difficult and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":633.04,"endTime":635.47,"body":"sends me to an endocrinologist"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":635.47,"endTime":637.69,"body":"now, I found in the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":635.47,"endTime":637.69,"body":"chronologist, a lot better"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":637.69,"endTime":641.53,"body":"through Kaiser than anywhere"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":637.69,"endTime":641.53,"body":"else. But so I talked to the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":641.53,"endTime":643.93,"body":"senator chronologist, just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":641.53,"endTime":643.93,"body":"recently, because I did did my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":643.93,"endTime":646.57,"body":"hormone levels and just got"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":643.93,"endTime":646.57,"body":"checked everything, make sure"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":646.57,"endTime":650.89,"body":"everything was working properly."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":646.57,"endTime":650.89,"body":"And, and he recommended to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":650.89,"endTime":653.77,"body":"people who actually treat a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":650.89,"endTime":653.77,"body":"significant amount of trans"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":653.77,"endTime":656.59,"body":"people in the Bay Area. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":653.77,"endTime":656.59,"body":"going to move from the old guy."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":657.16,"endTime":660.79,"body":"So sorry, that sounds kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":657.16,"endTime":660.79,"body":"ageist. But I'm gonna move from"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":660.79,"endTime":662.23,"body":"the 20s 1020."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":663.25,"endTime":665.68,"body":"It's not that he's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":663.25,"endTime":665.68,"body":"old... sorry, I'm not going to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":665.68,"endTime":666.16,"body":"interrupt."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":666.9,"endTime":670.11,"body":"No, no, it's fine. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":666.9,"endTime":670.11,"body":"mean, go ahead and interrupt."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":670.11,"endTime":676.47,"body":"But I mean, close minded, old"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":670.11,"endTime":676.47,"body":"school. I need to find somebody"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":676.47,"endTime":679.95,"body":"who doesn't look at me like I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":676.47,"endTime":679.95,"body":"just beamed down from a Vulcan"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":680.34,"endTime":682.08,"body":"science ship, you know? Yeah."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":683.25,"endTime":685.17,"body":"I was gonna say it's not"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":683.25,"endTime":685.17,"body":"because he's old. It's because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":685.17,"endTime":687.57,"body":"he hasn't kept up to date on the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":685.17,"endTime":687.57,"body":"latest literature."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":687.87,"endTime":691.08,"body":"Exactly. He hasn't done"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":687.87,"endTime":691.08,"body":"this continuing education. The"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":691.08,"endTime":694.92,"body":"things not a real, they're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":691.08,"endTime":694.92,"body":"pretty real. They're sociopaths."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":694.92,"endTime":696.51,"body":"He's a doctor. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":697.11,"endTime":700.95,"body":"I mean, it's kind of bad."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":697.11,"endTime":700.95,"body":"But he's a doctor. I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":700.95,"endTime":703.2,"body":"whenever I went in to see him"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":700.95,"endTime":703.2,"body":"the first time for a foot"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":703.2,"endTime":705.57,"body":"problem, because he was covering"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":703.2,"endTime":705.57,"body":"for my dog. And I was like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":706.11,"endTime":709.32,"body":"because I do strap on the hills"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":706.11,"endTime":709.32,"body":"every day and work. And he's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":709.32,"endTime":712.17,"body":"like, looking at it's like, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":709.32,"endTime":712.17,"body":"don't see anything wrong. I'm"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":712.17,"endTime":714.45,"body":"like, okay, dude, you can you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":712.17,"endTime":714.45,"body":"can just tell that from looking"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":714.45,"endTime":717.3,"body":"at it. Where's the leeches?"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":714.45,"endTime":717.3,"body":"Because I could use a couple of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":717.3,"endTime":720.36,"body":"leeches too. I just doesn't work"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":717.3,"endTime":720.36,"body":"for me"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":720.51,"endTime":723.27,"body":"need to have him were"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":720.51,"endTime":723.27,"body":"one of those play masks, too. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":723.27,"endTime":728.52,"body":"it's just a really complete the,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":723.27,"endTime":728.52,"body":"the illusion therapy for me, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":728.52,"endTime":734.55,"body":"live in Ohio. And I'm so sorry."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":728.52,"endTime":734.55,"body":"I think you can repeat this"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":734.55,"endTime":739.86,"body":"fucking state. Like in the past,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":734.55,"endTime":739.86,"body":"actually, mercy, our experiences"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":739.86,"endTime":742.98,"body":"are kind of similar in that,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":739.86,"endTime":742.98,"body":"like, I could only ever find"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":743.76,"endTime":747.54,"body":"Christian based McLean"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":743.76,"endTime":747.54,"body":"therapists. They did me no good"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":747.57,"endTime":752.4,"body":"at all. And so I had to do a lot"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":747.57,"endTime":752.4,"body":"of searching around here,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":752.4,"endTime":754.59,"body":"because almost all of the ones"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":752.4,"endTime":754.59,"body":"right in here are faith based."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":754.92,"endTime":759.99,"body":"And I found a really, really"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":754.92,"endTime":759.99,"body":"amazing one. And she, she works"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":759.99,"endTime":764.34,"body":"with a lot of trans people. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":759.99,"endTime":764.34,"body":"but one of the weird things."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":765.36,"endTime":769.29,"body":"Back to that I, I started going"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":765.36,"endTime":769.29,"body":"to her right when I came out in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":769.29,"endTime":771.99,"body":"order to kind of just wrap my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":769.29,"endTime":771.99,"body":"mind around everything, because"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":771.99,"endTime":778.41,"body":"I had lived for two years in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":771.99,"endTime":778.41,"body":"extremely abusive family and in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":778.41,"endTime":781.32,"body":"the family business running it."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":778.41,"endTime":781.32,"body":"And I've finally been free of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":781.32,"endTime":784.86,"body":"that. And so I had a lot to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":781.32,"endTime":784.86,"body":"unpack, obviously, coming out"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":784.89,"endTime":790.08,"body":"and all that stuff. But also,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":784.89,"endTime":790.08,"body":"Ohio is important consent, but"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":790.98,"endTime":795.06,"body":"we're insurance to get any sort"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":790.98,"endTime":795.06,"body":"of procedures done. Yes, we have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":795.09,"endTime":799.23,"body":"two letters, one from your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":795.09,"endTime":799.23,"body":"therapist and one from another"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":799.23,"endTime":803.04,"body":"counselor in order to get any of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":799.23,"endTime":803.04,"body":"your surgeries or what have you."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":803.04,"endTime":806.37,"body":"So you can get your hormones"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":803.04,"endTime":806.37,"body":"informed consent, but I don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":806.37,"endTime":808.11,"body":"know how much longer that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":806.37,"endTime":808.11,"body":"going to be either because"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":808.11,"endTime":812.22,"body":"they're working on a lot of anti"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":808.11,"endTime":812.22,"body":"trans stuff here too. So because"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":812.67,"endTime":816.36,"body":"my stepfather is actually I've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":812.67,"endTime":816.36,"body":"never met him, but he's actually"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":816.93,"endTime":821.79,"body":"Ohio State House representative."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":816.93,"endTime":821.79,"body":"And I'm going to be watching"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":821.79,"endTime":826.38,"body":"very closely how he votes on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":821.79,"endTime":826.38,"body":"these bills. And if he votes for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":826.38,"endTime":831.33,"body":"them, I'm going to call him the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":826.38,"endTime":831.33,"body":"fuck out. Because he has a trans"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":831.33,"endTime":838.71,"body":"stepdaughter. Yeah, so should be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":831.33,"endTime":838.71,"body":"interesting. To find out. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":840.33,"endTime":845.58,"body":"Our second topic is actually"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":840.33,"endTime":845.58,"body":"finding affirming care. So you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":845.58,"endTime":848.22,"body":"two have talked on that already."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":845.58,"endTime":848.22,"body":"I guess I can talk about mine."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":849.51,"endTime":852.87,"body":"Somehow I don't know how this is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":849.51,"endTime":852.87,"body":"even possible. But there's a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":852.87,"endTime":859.8,"body":"private clinic not far from me."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":852.87,"endTime":859.8,"body":"It's an Akron, Ohio. And it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":859.83,"endTime":863.31,"body":"you walk in and there's pride"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":859.83,"endTime":863.31,"body":"flags everywhere. Practice pride"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":863.31,"endTime":865.77,"body":"flags everywhere. There's the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":863.31,"endTime":865.77,"body":"gender unicorn hanging on the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":865.77,"endTime":870.24,"body":"wall of all the exam rooms. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":865.77,"endTime":870.24,"body":"they specialize in trans health"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":870.24,"endTime":878.34,"body":"care in all, alphabet, Mafia,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":870.24,"endTime":878.34,"body":"healthcare, really, but so they"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":878.34,"endTime":880.29,"body":"know all the things they can do"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":878.34,"endTime":880.29,"body":"on the blood blood tests and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":880.29,"endTime":883.47,"body":"everything. So I got super lucky"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":880.29,"endTime":883.47,"body":"having that near me because,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":884.04,"endTime":889.17,"body":"like my old PCP was like, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":884.04,"endTime":889.17,"body":"don't know how to help you with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":889.17,"endTime":891.87,"body":"any of this. This is just I have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":889.17,"endTime":891.87,"body":"no training in it because"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":891.87,"endTime":894.96,"body":"doctors don't really get much"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":891.87,"endTime":894.96,"body":"training in this. So now"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":894.96,"endTime":898.23,"body":"actually, my current insurance"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":894.96,"endTime":898.23,"body":"doesn't cover the private clinic"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":898.23,"endTime":901.35,"body":"so I'm paying out of pocket"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":898.23,"endTime":901.35,"body":"which sucks. But I had to switch"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":901.35,"endTime":904.74,"body":"insurance in order to get"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":901.35,"endTime":904.74,"body":"surgery because the insurance"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":904.74,"endTime":907.17,"body":"that covered my doctor doesn't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":904.74,"endTime":907.17,"body":"cover the surgery in Ohio,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":907.17,"endTime":910.26,"body":"there's only one insurer"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":907.17,"endTime":910.26,"body":"insurance company in Ohio that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":910.26,"endTime":912.57,"body":"covers gender affirming"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":910.26,"endTime":912.57,"body":"surgeries. And that's Oscar"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":912.57,"endTime":916.5,"body":"insurance. So I had to go with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":912.57,"endTime":916.5,"body":"them. But either you have any"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":916.5,"endTime":919.05,"body":"more notes on your affirming"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":916.5,"endTime":919.05,"body":"care,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":919.65,"endTime":922.71,"body":"I was just going to say"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":919.65,"endTime":922.71,"body":"it's interesting to me how much"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":922.77,"endTime":926.64,"body":"especially like, like trans"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":922.77,"endTime":926.64,"body":"femme hormone stuff is really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":926.64,"endTime":929.73,"body":"complicated. Because you have"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":926.64,"endTime":929.73,"body":"to, you know, you have to have"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":929.73,"endTime":932.58,"body":"your T suppressor, you have to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":929.73,"endTime":932.58,"body":"have your estradiol, you have to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":932.58,"endTime":936.48,"body":"have your progesterone at some"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":932.58,"endTime":936.48,"body":"point. Some people say you don't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":936.48,"endTime":938.79,"body":"need the progesterone, but then"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":936.48,"endTime":938.79,"body":"the people who get it always"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":938.79,"endTime":941.82,"body":"say, oh, it's totally worth"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":938.79,"endTime":941.82,"body":"having. Plus sis women have it,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":941.82,"endTime":945.18,"body":"it doesn't make sense not to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":941.82,"endTime":945.18,"body":"have in your body. Yeah. You"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":945.18,"endTime":947.97,"body":"know, it's kind of funny,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":945.18,"endTime":947.97,"body":"because a lot of it is like,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":947.97,"endTime":950.28,"body":"well, let's try to get the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":947.97,"endTime":950.28,"body":"levels to where they should be."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":950.31,"endTime":954.66,"body":"And then let's find out how you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":950.31,"endTime":954.66,"body":"feel. And like, sometimes I feel"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":954.66,"endTime":957.3,"body":"like Oh, but I want more, you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":954.66,"endTime":957.3,"body":"know, it's almost like it's,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":957.33,"endTime":960.36,"body":"it's like this drug, you're"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":957.33,"endTime":960.36,"body":"like, Oh, this is so good. I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":960.36,"endTime":964.77,"body":"want more. But then if you have"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":960.36,"endTime":964.77,"body":"more, you might feel sick. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":965.1,"endTime":967.71,"body":"you need to have just the right"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":965.1,"endTime":967.71,"body":"amount. And so that's what a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":967.71,"endTime":972.15,"body":"good doctor can do. Like suppose"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":967.71,"endTime":972.15,"body":"I know that sometimes, like when"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":972.15,"endTime":976.41,"body":"I started Spyro spiral"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":972.15,"endTime":976.41,"body":"magnitone. Yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":977.31,"endTime":978.72,"body":"There's more estrogen."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":977.31,"endTime":978.72,"body":"Sorry."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":979.14,"endTime":982.47,"body":"Thank you. When I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":979.14,"endTime":982.47,"body":"started spiral, magnitone, I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":982.47,"endTime":987.24,"body":"have ADHD. And it really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":982.47,"endTime":987.24,"body":"exacerbated my ADHD symptoms, to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":987.24,"endTime":989.64,"body":"the point where I really wanted"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":987.24,"endTime":989.64,"body":"to quit it. Plus, it was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":989.67,"endTime":993.81,"body":"affecting my sleep, and it was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":989.67,"endTime":993.81,"body":"affecting, having to pee all the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":993.81,"endTime":997.59,"body":"time was terrible. So I switched"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":993.81,"endTime":997.59,"body":"to, I was talking with one of my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":997.59,"endTime":1002.75,"body":"other trans friends, and she"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":997.59,"endTime":1002.75,"body":"uses bicalutamide as her T"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1002.75,"endTime":1006.95,"body":"blocker. So I started I switched"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1002.75,"endTime":1006.95,"body":"to that. And then all of the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1006.98,"endTime":1010.19,"body":"symptoms from Spyro just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1006.98,"endTime":1010.19,"body":"vanished, and I could never go"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1010.19,"endTime":1012.11,"body":"back to Spyro. It was like a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1010.19,"endTime":1012.11,"body":"poison. For me."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1012.38,"endTime":1015.17,"body":"It is poison. It's the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1012.38,"endTime":1015.17,"body":"worst. It's horrible stuff."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1016.13,"endTime":1020.63,"body":"I know like in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1016.13,"endTime":1020.63,"body":"Australia, they use SYPRO Oh,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1020.66,"endTime":1021.56,"body":"yes."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1021.71,"endTime":1027.92,"body":"Yeah, I was gonna say. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1021.71,"endTime":1027.92,"body":"for me, it's been amazing. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1027.92,"endTime":1032.96,"body":"tolerate a lot of drugs well, so"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1027.92,"endTime":1032.96,"body":"I totally get that and respect"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1032.96,"endTime":1035.9,"body":"that that. Like, it definitely"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1032.96,"endTime":1035.9,"body":"has some side effects. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1035.9,"endTime":1040.31,"body":"like getting like all the time,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1035.9,"endTime":1040.31,"body":"for sure. But for me, it's been"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1040.37,"endTime":1043.85,"body":"thing, just the combination of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1040.37,"endTime":1043.85,"body":"estradiol and spironolactone"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1044.18,"endTime":1048.05,"body":"have been a godsend, just for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1044.18,"endTime":1048.05,"body":"like mental health just for my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1048.14,"endTime":1051.74,"body":"well being with us. And I've"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1048.14,"endTime":1051.74,"body":"traded off pictures. So it's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1051.74,"endTime":1055.64,"body":"like, you know, I shared some of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1051.74,"endTime":1055.64,"body":"my results, right? And it's just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1055.64,"endTime":1059.9,"body":"like, impressive. I mean, to me,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1055.64,"endTime":1059.9,"body":"I guess I'm lucky because I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1060.05,"endTime":1063.8,"body":"like, I'm hormone sensitive. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1060.05,"endTime":1063.8,"body":"whether that's testosterone or"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1063.8,"endTime":1068.45,"body":"estrogen, I get the max effect"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1063.8,"endTime":1068.45,"body":"for both. So like, for me, like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1068.45,"endTime":1072.23,"body":"I've never had these things."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1068.45,"endTime":1072.23,"body":"Like, you know, testosterone is"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1072.23,"endTime":1075.29,"body":"like that angry, aggressive"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1072.23,"endTime":1075.29,"body":"thing I said, for me, I've never"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1075.29,"endTime":1078.8,"body":"had the worst road rage, except"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1075.29,"endTime":1078.8,"body":"for when I went on astronaut. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1078.8,"endTime":1081.89,"body":"it was like, I just like it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1078.8,"endTime":1081.89,"body":"brought out that like, Uber"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1081.89,"endTime":1085.37,"body":"bitch, right. But it also"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1081.89,"endTime":1085.37,"body":"brought out a ton of other"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1085.37,"endTime":1089.3,"body":"stuff. So it's helped me not"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1085.37,"endTime":1089.3,"body":"have to go through and do"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1090.08,"endTime":1093.83,"body":"surgery. For me. Like, this is"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1090.08,"endTime":1093.83,"body":"me without surgery. There was no"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1093.83,"endTime":1097.91,"body":"FF s. Right? There's no surgery."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1093.83,"endTime":1097.91,"body":"There's no breast augmentation."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1098.0,"endTime":1102.53,"body":"Anything. This is 100%. Me. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1098.0,"endTime":1102.53,"body":"I love it. I mean, I was in LA"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1102.53,"endTime":1106.01,"body":"was visiting my sister to turn"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1102.53,"endTime":1106.01,"body":"around and slap me on the ass."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1106.13,"endTime":1110.57,"body":"And she's like, Girl, when did"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1106.13,"endTime":1110.57,"body":"this come up? Maybe a couple"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1110.57,"endTime":1113.69,"body":"months ago, but I was like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1110.57,"endTime":1113.69,"body":"she's like, God damn. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1113.69,"endTime":1119.84,"body":"like. So that's what HRT did for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1113.69,"endTime":1119.84,"body":"me. And so like, I mean, it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1119.84,"endTime":1122.72,"body":"definitely, I think the point of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1119.84,"endTime":1122.72,"body":"kind of like, what we're all"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1122.72,"endTime":1126.05,"body":"making is that you really have"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1122.72,"endTime":1126.05,"body":"to be sensitive to what you're"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1126.05,"endTime":1130.37,"body":"experiencing, and kind of really"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1126.05,"endTime":1130.37,"body":"understand the complications and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1130.91,"endTime":1133.25,"body":"the prescribing info of the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1130.91,"endTime":1133.25,"body":"drugs, right? And you need that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1133.25,"endTime":1136.31,"body":"doctor to be able to provide"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1133.25,"endTime":1136.31,"body":"that like, listen at this level,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1136.31,"endTime":1139.49,"body":"blah, blah, blah, blah. When I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1136.31,"endTime":1139.49,"body":"got my estrogen, and you saw my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1139.49,"endTime":1143.93,"body":"history of estrogen, right, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1139.49,"endTime":1143.93,"body":"was, I was a to 14 on estrogen"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1143.93,"endTime":1148.25,"body":"with testosterone of seven."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1143.93,"endTime":1148.25,"body":"Right and as a measurement. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1149.18,"endTime":1152.36,"body":"he saw that he's like this, you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1149.18,"endTime":1152.36,"body":"know, that's too high for your"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1152.36,"endTime":1156.11,"body":"age. And I'm like, I know, just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1152.36,"endTime":1156.11,"body":"had my first mammogram, you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1156.11,"endTime":1160.19,"body":"know, I get it. Because every"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1156.11,"endTime":1160.19,"body":"five years on HRT, we've gotten"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1160.19,"endTime":1163.22,"body":"to do the mammogram. So I just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1160.19,"endTime":1163.22,"body":"had my first one, but it was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1163.22,"endTime":1166.01,"body":"like, you know, he looked at me,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1163.22,"endTime":1166.01,"body":"I'm just like, I know, but like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1166.22,"endTime":1169.88,"body":"I started 50 I had to catch up."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1166.22,"endTime":1169.88,"body":"So like, all of this was catch"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1169.88,"endTime":1173.39,"body":"up. So you got to have that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1169.88,"endTime":1173.39,"body":"really good, open relationship"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1173.39,"endTime":1175.58,"body":"with your doctor or your"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1173.39,"endTime":1175.58,"body":"endocrinologist for sure."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1175.79,"endTime":1178.73,"body":"I will say for HRT for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1175.79,"endTime":1178.73,"body":"me, like starting on it. The"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1178.73,"endTime":1181.88,"body":"first thing that I noticed was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1178.73,"endTime":1181.88,"body":"it was like this background"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1181.88,"endTime":1186.08,"body":"static in my brain like white"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1181.88,"endTime":1186.08,"body":"noise from an old TV static,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1186.62,"endTime":1192.05,"body":"like, that had always been going"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1186.62,"endTime":1192.05,"body":"on in my brain quieted down for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1192.05,"endTime":1199.13,"body":"the first time in my life. Wow."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1192.05,"endTime":1199.13,"body":"And I was like, Oh, I didn't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1199.13,"endTime":1203.75,"body":"even realize that I I'd had that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1199.13,"endTime":1203.75,"body":"static in my head. And then once"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1203.75,"endTime":1206.69,"body":"it was gone and cleared up, it"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1203.75,"endTime":1206.69,"body":"was like, yeah, like you had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1206.69,"endTime":1210.56,"body":"said earlier seeing the world in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1206.69,"endTime":1210.56,"body":"color for the first time. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1210.56,"endTime":1213.35,"body":"that was the first thing that I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1210.56,"endTime":1213.35,"body":"noticed when I went on HRT."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1214.73,"endTime":1218.24,"body":"That's pretty major."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1214.73,"endTime":1218.24,"body":"Get for me, I think the first"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1218.24,"endTime":1224.84,"body":"thing I noticed as well was the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1218.24,"endTime":1224.84,"body":"mental changes just the way in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1224.84,"endTime":1229.7,"body":"both good and bad. Because I've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1224.84,"endTime":1229.7,"body":"been a pro at masking my whole"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1229.7,"endTime":1232.91,"body":"life without even really knowing"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1229.7,"endTime":1232.91,"body":"it, I've actually realized I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1232.91,"endTime":1237.95,"body":"100,000% autistic, which is kind"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1232.91,"endTime":1237.95,"body":"of common in our community"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1237.95,"endTime":1244.22,"body":"anyways. And but so I always"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1237.95,"endTime":1244.22,"body":"wore a mask of no emotions, like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1244.4,"endTime":1247.1,"body":"growing up, I was not allowed to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1244.4,"endTime":1247.1,"body":"show emotions, that emotions"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1247.1,"endTime":1249.17,"body":"were bad, I just get the shit"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1247.1,"endTime":1249.17,"body":"beat out of me if I didn't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1249.17,"endTime":1254.33,"body":"anything going on. estradiol has"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1249.17,"endTime":1254.33,"body":"not just like, let me drop my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1254.33,"endTime":1256.46,"body":"mask, but it took it and just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1254.33,"endTime":1256.46,"body":"fucking threw it in the corner."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1256.94,"endTime":1260.36,"body":"And I feel like a complete"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1256.94,"endTime":1260.36,"body":"different person. But it also"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1260.36,"endTime":1264.26,"body":"makes me a lot more stressful to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1260.36,"endTime":1264.26,"body":"be around. Because I am so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1264.26,"endTime":1266.39,"body":"fucking high strung all the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1264.26,"endTime":1266.39,"body":"time, I've actually started"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1266.39,"endTime":1269.96,"body":"taking CBD because of it."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1266.39,"endTime":1269.96,"body":"Because I'm kind of miserable to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1272.24,"body":"be around. We're kind of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1272.24,"body":"actually this is actually"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1272.24,"endTime":1276.47,"body":"putting us into the next topic"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1272.24,"endTime":1276.47,"body":"was talking about HRT, really,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1276.71,"endTime":1281.66,"body":"it's starting it is it starts"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1276.71,"endTime":1281.66,"body":"off slow, and it kind of creeps"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1281.66,"endTime":1285.14,"body":"up on you. And the first thing"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1281.66,"endTime":1285.14,"body":"that you that I noticed at least"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1285.14,"endTime":1289.37,"body":"was mental changes, for sure."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1285.14,"endTime":1289.37,"body":"Because your brain is being"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1289.4,"endTime":1294.02,"body":"entirely rewritten, ever, all"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1289.4,"endTime":1294.02,"body":"your wires have been completely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1294.02,"endTime":1298.19,"body":"redone. And it's to the point"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1294.02,"endTime":1298.19,"body":"where I don't know if you to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1298.19,"endTime":1302.39,"body":"have noticed this. But if you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1298.19,"endTime":1302.39,"body":"talk to a trans girl that has"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1302.39,"endTime":1307.7,"body":"only recently transitioned"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1302.39,"endTime":1307.7,"body":"versus like talking via text,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1308.36,"endTime":1311.75,"body":"versus talking to someone that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1308.36,"endTime":1311.75,"body":"been on hormones for a while,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1311.84,"endTime":1316.31,"body":"there is a complete definite"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1311.84,"endTime":1316.31,"body":"difference in how the people who"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1316.31,"endTime":1320.42,"body":"have been hormones for who have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1316.31,"endTime":1320.42,"body":"been on hormones for a while,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1320.66,"endTime":1325.49,"body":"interact, like you can tell that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1320.66,"endTime":1325.49,"body":"you're talking to a girl were"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1325.79,"endTime":1329.03,"body":"earlier on in the transition."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1325.79,"endTime":1329.03,"body":"It's like talking to a guy"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1329.03,"endTime":1331.1,"body":"because there's still that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1329.03,"endTime":1331.1,"body":"testosterone, like sneaking the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1331.1,"endTime":1333.41,"body":"conversation have either you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1331.1,"endTime":1333.41,"body":"noticed that? Or am I just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1333.41,"endTime":1333.98,"body":"insane?"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1335.12,"endTime":1338.12,"body":"I think you're insane."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1335.12,"endTime":1338.12,"body":"But I have noticed that."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1342.53,"endTime":1345.86,"body":"I mean, I can see that I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1342.53,"endTime":1345.86,"body":"haven't experienced that. By"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1346.04,"endTime":1351.44,"body":"like I was socially transitioned"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1346.04,"endTime":1351.44,"body":"on social media in 2013. So in"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1351.5,"endTime":1355.64,"body":"like, to me, it was just being"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1351.5,"endTime":1355.64,"body":"me for the first time. And I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1355.64,"endTime":1358.94,"body":"never got any feedback like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1355.64,"endTime":1358.94,"body":"that. And that was like five"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1358.94,"endTime":1363.56,"body":"years before HRT, you know, but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1358.94,"endTime":1363.56,"body":"I mean, I kind of get what"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1363.56,"endTime":1363.98,"body":"you're saying."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1364.58,"endTime":1366.83,"body":"I'm sorry. But I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1364.58,"endTime":1366.83,"body":"going to say I think what"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1366.83,"endTime":1372.38,"body":"Vanessa was describing, there's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1366.83,"endTime":1372.38,"body":"a lot of like, at least for me,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1372.41,"endTime":1375.02,"body":"and the people that I know,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1372.41,"endTime":1375.02,"body":"there's a lot of kind of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1375.08,"endTime":1379.13,"body":"impostor syndrome that you have"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1375.08,"endTime":1379.13,"body":"to get over your first little"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1379.13,"endTime":1382.88,"body":"bit. When you're going through"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1379.13,"endTime":1382.88,"body":"your transition. I know for me,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1382.88,"endTime":1385.76,"body":"like, for example, I didn't feel"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1382.88,"endTime":1385.76,"body":"comfortable calling myself a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1385.76,"endTime":1388.73,"body":"lesbian. And still until I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1385.76,"endTime":1388.73,"body":"started dating women as a woman."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1389.15,"endTime":1391.46,"body":"And then it's like, oh, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1389.15,"endTime":1391.46,"body":"well, that is my label. That is"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1391.46,"endTime":1397.25,"body":"who I am. But early on, I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1391.46,"endTime":1397.25,"body":"not comfortable using that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1397.25,"endTime":1401.36,"body":"label, because I felt like I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1397.25,"endTime":1401.36,"body":"hadn't earned it, or I didn't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1401.36,"endTime":1405.26,"body":"deserve it, or that sort of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1401.36,"endTime":1405.26,"body":"thing. Yeah, I feel like that's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1405.26,"endTime":1407.51,"body":"really common with a lot of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1405.26,"endTime":1407.51,"body":"people who are just starting out"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1407.51,"endTime":1412.01,"body":"their transition to I know, I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1407.51,"endTime":1412.01,"body":"had a hard time like wearing"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1412.04,"endTime":1415.52,"body":"like presenting femininely at"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1412.04,"endTime":1415.52,"body":"first because I felt like I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1415.52,"endTime":1419.51,"body":"doing something wrong somehow,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1415.52,"endTime":1419.51,"body":"or I was violating a social faux"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1419.51,"endTime":1422.51,"body":"pas that I didn't know about, or"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1419.51,"endTime":1422.51,"body":"that I didn't know about. But I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1422.51,"endTime":1424.85,"body":"knew I needed to break it"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1422.51,"endTime":1424.85,"body":"because I was trans. But you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1424.85,"endTime":1427.52,"body":"know, it still is hard. There's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1424.85,"endTime":1427.52,"body":"this weird jumble in your head"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1427.52,"endTime":1430.25,"body":"when you're going through that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1427.52,"endTime":1430.25,"body":"transition for the first time. A"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1430.25,"endTime":1432.56,"body":"lot of people will start"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1430.25,"endTime":1432.56,"body":"hormones before they do the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1432.56,"endTime":1435.62,"body":"social transition. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1432.56,"endTime":1435.62,"body":"people do the social transition"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1435.62,"endTime":1439.43,"body":"before they do hormones. I feel"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1435.62,"endTime":1439.43,"body":"like what you are describing is"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1439.43,"endTime":1444.29,"body":"more people getting into the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1439.43,"endTime":1444.29,"body":"mindset, rather than like having"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1444.29,"endTime":1448.04,"body":"their brains re written by"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1444.29,"endTime":1448.04,"body":"hormones, because I don't really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1448.04,"endTime":1450.89,"body":"feel like my brain has been"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1448.04,"endTime":1450.89,"body":"rewritten. I feel like it has"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1450.89,"endTime":1452.6,"body":"adult different filter over it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1452.81,"endTime":1455.69,"body":"Mine feels like it has"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1452.81,"endTime":1455.69,"body":"completely rewired. But be and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1455.69,"endTime":1458.24,"body":"your results may vary... how"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1455.69,"endTime":1458.24,"body":"about you, Taryn?"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1459.2,"endTime":1461.48,"body":"I mean, what I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1459.2,"endTime":1461.48,"body":"getting to was more like the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1461.48,"endTime":1466.01,"body":"tone. Right? And just how you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1461.48,"endTime":1466.01,"body":"present so like in the written"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1466.01,"endTime":1469.19,"body":"word or the spoken word, like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1466.01,"endTime":1469.19,"body":"how you phrase things, how you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1469.19,"endTime":1472.67,"body":"look at things. Like that's what"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1469.19,"endTime":1472.67,"body":"I was understanding her free,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1472.7,"endTime":1476.09,"body":"like Yeah, right. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1472.7,"endTime":1476.09,"body":"that's what I say. Like for me"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1476.12,"endTime":1479.63,"body":"in my social transition on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1476.12,"endTime":1479.63,"body":"social media, but content that I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1479.63,"endTime":1483.38,"body":"continue to push out for five"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1479.63,"endTime":1483.38,"body":"years, nobody could tell right,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1483.59,"endTime":1486.71,"body":"that there was no way HRT or"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1483.59,"endTime":1486.71,"body":"that I was assigned male or"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1486.86,"endTime":1490.91,"body":"anything like that. I think on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1486.86,"endTime":1490.91,"body":"terms of reread and peace, so I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1490.91,"endTime":1495.71,"body":"can just chime in for me, okay,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1490.91,"endTime":1495.71,"body":"so I'm gonna sound insane."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1495.74,"endTime":1500.48,"body":"Someone say I've always had a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1495.74,"endTime":1500.48,"body":"really fast healing track. For"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1500.48,"endTime":1504.65,"body":"myself, like recovering very"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1500.48,"endTime":1504.65,"body":"quickly from injuries, when I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1504.65,"endTime":1509.57,"body":"started HRT that stopped the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1504.65,"endTime":1509.57,"body":"things that did not heal for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1509.57,"endTime":1514.85,"body":"weeks. So it took about two and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1509.57,"endTime":1514.85,"body":"a half years for me. And it came"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1514.85,"endTime":1518.69,"body":"back and everything went right"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1514.85,"endTime":1518.69,"body":"back. All I felt like things"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1518.69,"endTime":1523.25,"body":"that were temporarily shut down,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1518.69,"endTime":1523.25,"body":"had restarted again, right after"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1523.25,"endTime":1524.0,"body":"that, like,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1524.06,"endTime":1526.61,"body":"it felt like the two and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1524.06,"endTime":1526.61,"body":"a half years second puberty."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1527.48,"endTime":1529.16,"body":"Yeah, well, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1527.48,"endTime":1529.16,"body":"second of all, I'm going to tell"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1529.16,"endTime":1532.7,"body":"you a second puberty. For all"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1529.16,"endTime":1532.7,"body":"those listening. Second, puberty"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1532.7,"endTime":1537.35,"body":"sucks. That the itchy burning"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1532.7,"endTime":1537.35,"body":"bras and all that good stuff. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1537.35,"endTime":1540.77,"body":"mean, the results are great for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1537.35,"endTime":1540.77,"body":"me. But getting there was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1541.25,"endTime":1544.88,"body":"relatively irritating, but I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1541.25,"endTime":1544.88,"body":"felt like it was I felt like it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1544.88,"endTime":1548.81,"body":"was actually getting a bit of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1544.88,"endTime":1548.81,"body":"rewriting physically right where"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1548.99,"endTime":1552.14,"body":"my body was getting used to it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1548.99,"endTime":1552.14,"body":"and it was getting used to not"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1552.14,"endTime":1554.93,"body":"having something and getting"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1552.14,"endTime":1554.93,"body":"used to having something"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1554.93,"endTime":1559.04,"body":"instead. And when it finally"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1554.93,"endTime":1559.04,"body":"came back, I mean that stuff was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1559.04,"endTime":1562.34,"body":"clicking for me and 2020 I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1559.04,"endTime":1562.34,"body":"like, I just kind of hit my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1562.34,"endTime":1565.79,"body":"cadence so took me a couple of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1562.34,"endTime":1565.79,"body":"years but I definitely noticed"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1565.79,"endTime":1569.12,"body":"some some of that change. For"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1565.79,"endTime":1569.12,"body":"the mindset not so much but for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1569.12,"endTime":1570.56,"body":"the physicality of it for sure."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1570.59,"endTime":1574.49,"body":"This next next thing"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1570.59,"endTime":1574.49,"body":"actually taking our meds taking"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1574.49,"endTime":1580.22,"body":"your s are HRT, so you two are"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1574.49,"endTime":1580.22,"body":"both I believe on testosterone"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1580.22,"endTime":1587.18,"body":"blockers still. I had an orky"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1580.22,"endTime":1587.18,"body":"Back in November so I don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1587.21,"endTime":1591.68,"body":"worry about that anymore. But"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1587.21,"endTime":1591.68,"body":"because Spiro like same with the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1591.68,"endTime":1596.99,"body":"MRC Aspire like it just my brain"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1591.68,"endTime":1596.99,"body":"just was it was just complete"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1596.99,"endTime":1601.07,"body":"shot like I had the brain fog so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1596.99,"endTime":1601.07,"body":"bad and the ping every 45"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1601.07,"endTime":1604.55,"body":"seconds. Especially living in a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1601.07,"endTime":1604.55,"body":"red area. I couldn't go"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1604.55,"endTime":1609.83,"body":"anywhere. Because I was still"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1604.55,"endTime":1609.83,"body":"pretty. I only marginally pass"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1609.83,"endTime":1615.89,"body":"now but I didn't pass at all"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1609.83,"endTime":1615.89,"body":"then or the s extra dial. I for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1615.89,"endTime":1619.07,"body":"one was on pills for a long"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1615.89,"endTime":1619.07,"body":"time. I mainly took them"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1619.07,"endTime":1621.62,"body":"sublingually which you know, you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1619.07,"endTime":1621.62,"body":"kind of have get under your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1621.62,"endTime":1624.65,"body":"tongue then half you went up"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1621.62,"endTime":1624.65,"body":"swallowing and I just started"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1624.68,"endTime":1630.77,"body":"injections last week. What has"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1624.68,"endTime":1630.77,"body":"your how have you guys had? Why"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1630.77,"endTime":1632.6,"body":"is my brain not working? What"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1630.77,"endTime":1632.6,"body":"the fuck?"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1634.43,"endTime":1635.66,"body":"You're tired. It's okay."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1635.69,"endTime":1639.02,"body":"You got him tired?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1635.69,"endTime":1639.02,"body":"How's your experience been with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1639.23,"endTime":1642.83,"body":"taking your blue pills or your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1639.23,"endTime":1642.83,"body":"titty juice... titty Skittles or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1642.83,"endTime":1643.61,"body":"Titty juice?"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1644.75,"endTime":1654.8,"body":"Oh, Skittles for me under"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1644.75,"endTime":1654.8,"body":"the tongue. And that's how I got"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1654.8,"endTime":1657.08,"body":"her to 44 milligrams a day under"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1654.8,"endTime":1657.08,"body":"the tongue. The body reacted and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1657.5,"endTime":1660.26,"body":"gave me that 240 and gave me a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1657.5,"endTime":1660.26,"body":"giant ass and some nice boobs"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1660.26,"endTime":1661.22,"body":"and I'm happy with it."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1661.64,"endTime":1664.46,"body":"Yeah, I would be happy"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1661.64,"endTime":1664.46,"body":"to I'm still doing the titty"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1664.46,"endTime":1669.14,"body":"Skittles too. There's been a bit"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1664.46,"endTime":1669.14,"body":"of an issue with getting"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1669.26,"endTime":1673.55,"body":"injectable estrogen in this"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1669.26,"endTime":1673.55,"body":"area. So we're kind of like just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1673.55,"endTime":1679.76,"body":"sticking with the sticking with"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1673.55,"endTime":1679.76,"body":"that until that results."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1680.75,"endTime":1682.61,"body":"Yeah, I was surprised"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1680.75,"endTime":1682.61,"body":"that I was able to get the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1682.61,"endTime":1685.7,"body":"injections because I had heard"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1682.61,"endTime":1685.7,"body":"that there was a nationwide"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1685.7,"endTime":1691.04,"body":"shortage. So is on the west"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1685.7,"endTime":1691.04,"body":"coast. I had been taking six"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1691.04,"endTime":1694.19,"body":"milligrams under the tongue a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1691.04,"endTime":1694.19,"body":"day and my estrogen was only 92."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1694.22,"endTime":1698.03,"body":"So my dad and my doctors like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1694.22,"endTime":1698.03,"body":"you work and start doing chats"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1698.06,"endTime":1698.51,"body":"but"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1699.02,"endTime":1700.67,"body":"you got you got to let"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1699.02,"endTime":1700.67,"body":"it dissolve."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1700.88,"endTime":1705.38,"body":"I I do but you know,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1705.41,"endTime":1707.81,"body":"it's just gotta be"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1705.41,"endTime":1707.81,"body":"patient. See, that's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1707.81,"endTime":1710.21,"body":"the thing I like dropped"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1707.81,"endTime":1710.21,"body":"it under my tongue and like went"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1710.21,"endTime":1713.42,"body":"out and walk the dog in the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1710.21,"endTime":1713.42,"body":"morning. It was all good."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1713.63,"endTime":1714.17,"body":"Everything. That's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1714.17,"endTime":1717.47,"body":"what I do. I just leave"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1714.17,"endTime":1717.47,"body":"it there. I'm getting ready for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1717.47,"endTime":1718.58,"body":"the morning. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1718.64,"endTime":1722.09,"body":"I am too fidgety. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1718.64,"endTime":1722.09,"body":"suppose. I just can't but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1722.09,"endTime":1725.66,"body":"Yeah, 6 mg sounds high"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1722.09,"endTime":1725.66,"body":"and not getting the results."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1725.75,"endTime":1727.97,"body":"Yeah, I was definitely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1725.75,"endTime":1727.97,"body":"not getting the results. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1728.23,"endTime":1730.75,"body":"but how many is six? Is"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1728.23,"endTime":1730.75,"body":"that three pill refills?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1730.75,"endTime":1733.6,"body":"Yeah, three pills a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1730.75,"endTime":1733.6,"body":"day, one pill three times a day."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1733.63,"endTime":1734.17,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1734.59,"endTime":1736.93,"body":"that's about that's what"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1734.59,"endTime":1736.93,"body":"I take. I take one and a half,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1737.02,"endTime":1741.82,"body":"one and a half. Okay."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1737.02,"endTime":1741.82,"body":"Yeah, I'm twice a day. The shots"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1741.82,"endTime":1744.85,"body":"for people injections. There's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1741.82,"endTime":1744.85,"body":"two different kinds of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1745.36,"endTime":1749.44,"body":"injections there's the in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1745.36,"endTime":1749.44,"body":"muscle, which is what I do. Then"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1749.44,"endTime":1752.68,"body":"there's also the sub q"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1749.44,"endTime":1752.68,"body":"subcutaneous something like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1752.68,"endTime":1755.2,"body":"that. And that goes in to kind"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1752.68,"endTime":1755.2,"body":"of like the fatty part of your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1755.2,"endTime":1760.18,"body":"but I've heard the sub q is much"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1755.2,"endTime":1760.18,"body":"more pleasant. The guys on the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1760.21,"endTime":1765.07,"body":"trans mask episode have agreed"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1760.21,"endTime":1765.07,"body":"that that's a better way of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1765.07,"endTime":1770.29,"body":"doing it. But I'm doing the in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1765.07,"endTime":1770.29,"body":"the muscle shot which it's not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1770.29,"endTime":1773.05,"body":"that big of a deal. The needles"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1770.29,"endTime":1773.05,"body":"itty bitty, I hate needles,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1773.05,"endTime":1777.1,"body":"especially like anything in my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1773.05,"endTime":1777.1,"body":"arm here. Like I'm getting my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1777.1,"endTime":1781.0,"body":"vagina plastic in the end of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1777.1,"endTime":1781.0,"body":"August. And I'm not worried at"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1781.0,"endTime":1784.18,"body":"all about that huge surgery"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1781.0,"endTime":1784.18,"body":"where in my entire undercarriage"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1784.18,"endTime":1786.97,"body":"is going to be completely just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1784.18,"endTime":1786.97,"body":"ripped out and shoved in and you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1786.97,"endTime":1789.52,"body":"know, all that kind of fun"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1786.97,"endTime":1789.52,"body":"stuff. Only thing I'm worried"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1789.52,"endTime":1793.06,"body":"about is the fucking IV so I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1789.52,"endTime":1793.06,"body":"don't like needles, but I do not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1793.06,"endTime":1796.45,"body":"mind the needle going in my leg."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1793.06,"endTime":1796.45,"body":"So anyone that's worried about"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1796.48,"endTime":1799.75,"body":"that needle. It's not a big"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1796.48,"endTime":1799.75,"body":"deal. It's an inch long with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1799.75,"endTime":1803.71,"body":"sound it's bad, it's really not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1799.75,"endTime":1803.71,"body":"so absolutely tiny. The only"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1803.71,"endTime":1808.3,"body":"thing that you really feel is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1803.71,"endTime":1808.3,"body":"the, the juice going into your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1808.3,"endTime":1813.43,"body":"leg. But so if you're, if you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1808.3,"endTime":1813.43,"body":"have any needle anxiety and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1813.43,"endTime":1817.54,"body":"stuff like that it's coming from"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1813.43,"endTime":1817.54,"body":"me who absolutely hates that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1817.54,"endTime":1820.66,"body":"kind of shit. It's not a big"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1817.54,"endTime":1820.66,"body":"deal. So hopefully that makes"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1820.66,"endTime":1821.65,"body":"some people feel better."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1822.49,"endTime":1824.62,"body":"I think that's a really"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1822.49,"endTime":1824.62,"body":"good pro tip. Because when I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1824.62,"endTime":1828.31,"body":"in third grade, I had contacted"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1824.62,"endTime":1828.31,"body":"me, and I had to have for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1828.31,"endTime":1832.42,"body":"bloodwork three grown men hold"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1828.31,"endTime":1832.42,"body":"me down, just to do some blood"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1832.42,"endTime":1835.96,"body":"work. Like I despise needles, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1832.42,"endTime":1835.96,"body":"lose my luck. I'm like, just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1835.96,"endTime":1839.56,"body":"like, I can't do it. But I think"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1835.96,"endTime":1839.56,"body":"I know what the needle you're"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1839.56,"endTime":1842.44,"body":"talking about. So much. Like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1839.56,"endTime":1842.44,"body":"when you have to do the allergy"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1842.44,"endTime":1845.59,"body":"booster. Right in your arm after"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1842.44,"endTime":1845.59,"body":"allergy testing. It's kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1845.59,"endTime":1848.41,"body":"like a really short, short"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1845.59,"endTime":1848.41,"body":"needle that just given in the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1848.41,"endTime":1849.58,"body":"arm in your gut."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1849.91,"endTime":1851.47,"body":"Yeah, it's tiny. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1851.5,"endTime":1854.11,"body":"see, I'm the I'm the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1851.5,"endTime":1854.11,"body":"weird type of person that like"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1854.11,"endTime":1857.71,"body":"watches when people give me IVs"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1854.11,"endTime":1857.71,"body":"or like, drop blood. And I want"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1857.71,"endTime":1860.14,"body":"to see when it goes in because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1857.71,"endTime":1860.14,"body":"it's interesting to me."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1861.1,"endTime":1862.66,"body":"gratuitous eye contact."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1865.09,"endTime":1868.15,"body":"Is it over yet? She"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1865.09,"endTime":1868.15,"body":"stopped talking about that."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1869.56,"endTime":1872.14,"body":"No, but anyway, when the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1869.56,"endTime":1872.14,"body":"needle goes in my skin"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1872.77,"endTime":1875.2,"body":"well, the world needs"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1872.77,"endTime":1875.2,"body":"people like you to though"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1875.23,"endTime":1878.2,"body":"because someone has to be able"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1875.23,"endTime":1878.2,"body":"to administer these things. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1878.2,"endTime":1878.38,"body":"can,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1878.59,"endTime":1880.54,"body":"I don't really like"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1878.59,"endTime":1880.54,"body":"doing it to other people, but to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1880.54,"endTime":1880.96,"body":"myself."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1882.55,"endTime":1886.57,"body":"That's still much"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1882.55,"endTime":1886.57,"body":"better than not a doctor, so I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1886.57,"endTime":1890.65,"body":"could do it if I had to. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1886.57,"endTime":1890.65,"body":"like popping zits. But that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1890.65,"endTime":1897.55,"body":"gross. Me too. Yeah. Popping"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1890.65,"endTime":1897.55,"body":"videos and I I have a dog who"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1897.55,"endTime":1901.36,"body":"had a big skin cyst on her back"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1897.55,"endTime":1901.36,"body":"that I would pop over and over"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1901.36,"endTime":1904.57,"body":"and over again. It's so fucking"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1901.36,"endTime":1904.57,"body":"satisfying. Anyway, this is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1904.57,"endTime":1908.62,"body":"getting off track. Either you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1904.57,"endTime":1908.62,"body":"have anything else that talks"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1908.62,"endTime":1912.94,"body":"about HRT you're talking about"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1908.62,"endTime":1912.94,"body":"something else. Okay. Let's talk"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1912.94,"endTime":1918.43,"body":"about tits. Sure, okay. I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1912.94,"endTime":1918.43,"body":"actually going to speak about my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1918.88,"endTime":1921.61,"body":"favorite subjects that I never"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1918.88,"endTime":1921.61,"body":"get to talk about enough. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1921.61,"endTime":1926.41,"body":"know. Right? Because you just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1921.61,"endTime":1926.41,"body":"don't talk about sex or anything"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1926.41,"endTime":1928.69,"body":"or boobs or bodies at all on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1926.41,"endTime":1928.69,"body":"trans spotting."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1930.13,"endTime":1931.84,"body":"We do a little bit. What"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1930.13,"endTime":1931.84,"body":"are you talking"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1931.84,"endTime":1937.21,"body":"about? That was"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1931.84,"endTime":1937.21,"body":"sarcasm. Sarcasm. No. I love her"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1937.21,"endTime":1940.57,"body":"show is anyone who is listening"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1937.21,"endTime":1940.57,"body":"this you have to listen to her"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1940.57,"endTime":1944.29,"body":"show. It's so fucking funny."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1940.57,"endTime":1944.29,"body":"Like, I've been driving along"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1944.29,"endTime":1947.38,"body":"and listen to some of the things"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1944.29,"endTime":1947.38,"body":"that they say. And like I am Oh"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1947.38,"endTime":1951.55,"body":"steered off the road. I started"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1947.38,"endTime":1951.55,"body":"laughing so hard. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1951.58,"endTime":1953.56,"body":"I've never heard it. But"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1951.58,"endTime":1953.56,"body":"now I'm gonna listen."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1953.74,"endTime":1956.95,"body":"Oh, you have to you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1953.74,"endTime":1956.95,"body":"have to it's there's some"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1956.95,"endTime":1959.44,"body":"moments that like it. It's yeah,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1959.47,"endTime":1961.33,"body":"you have to get somebody"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1959.47,"endTime":1961.33,"body":"to go through and make a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1961.33,"endTime":1963.88,"body":"greatest hits. Yes, yes."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1963.91,"endTime":1967.72,"body":"Yes. We all need those"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1963.91,"endTime":1967.72,"body":"super fans that like do all that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1967.72,"endTime":1973.99,"body":"shit. I don't have those. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1967.72,"endTime":1973.99,"body":"yep, it changes. Growing boobs,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1973.99,"endTime":1978.43,"body":"skin changing face changing body"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1973.99,"endTime":1978.43,"body":"shape. In the time. I'm"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1978.46,"endTime":1982.03,"body":"just going to talk about"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1978.46,"endTime":1982.03,"body":"the whole whole experience that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":1982.03,"endTime":1982.48,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1982.51,"endTime":1988.33,"body":"exactly. Taryn is an"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1982.51,"endTime":1988.33,"body":"example of where everything just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1988.33,"endTime":1994.15,"body":"fucking went right with that."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1988.33,"endTime":1994.15,"body":"And I'm jealous."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1996.79,"endTime":1999.88,"body":"prework right. You know,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1996.79,"endTime":1999.88,"body":"like, I used to rub lavender"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1999.88,"endTime":2003.51,"body":"oil, which is like a base plan"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":1999.88,"endTime":2003.51,"body":"estrogen right into the breast."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2003.81,"endTime":2007.29,"body":"And I did some work. Like I did"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2003.81,"endTime":2007.29,"body":"little things like that. I told"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2007.29,"endTime":2011.73,"body":"you about using that cheapass"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2007.29,"endTime":2011.73,"body":"pump just the blood into it. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2011.73,"endTime":2016.29,"body":"mean, that's a huge areoles I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2011.73,"endTime":2016.29,"body":"mean, I don't know, man. I don't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2016.29,"endTime":2022.47,"body":"know for sure that like, work,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2016.29,"endTime":2022.47,"body":"because I knew that being 50 it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2022.47,"endTime":2025.74,"body":"was gonna be a harder Hill for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2022.47,"endTime":2025.74,"body":"me to climb. And then having"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2025.74,"endTime":2028.95,"body":"that reaffirming, like, slap on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2025.74,"endTime":2028.95,"body":"the ass or my sister was like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2028.98,"endTime":2030.51,"body":"amen. Like, I'm here."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2031.35,"endTime":2033.09,"body":"So good. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2033.12,"endTime":2036.45,"body":"I mean, my partner refer"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2033.12,"endTime":2036.45,"body":"students, my one Jerry and asked"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2036.45,"endTime":2040.02,"body":"you because it just looks like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2036.45,"endTime":2040.02,"body":"it's like one was like half of a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2040.02,"endTime":2043.59,"body":"human. Right. So it's like, but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2040.02,"endTime":2043.59,"body":"I'm really happy with that. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2043.59,"endTime":2048.03,"body":"mean, the skin and stuff. I had"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2043.59,"endTime":2048.03,"body":"some, I think was two and a half"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2048.03,"endTime":2051.99,"body":"years of electronics. So that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2048.03,"endTime":2051.99,"body":"was probably the most expensive"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2051.99,"endTime":2055.86,"body":"hardest part for me. I've never"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2051.99,"endTime":2055.86,"body":"felt pain, like having my upper"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2055.86,"endTime":2060.12,"body":"lip tongue. And, and I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2055.86,"endTime":2060.12,"body":"used to get high as luck. And I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2060.12,"endTime":2065.55,"body":"still was like crying like a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2060.12,"endTime":2065.55,"body":"baby. And I think for me, like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2065.55,"endTime":2070.65,"body":"you know, this, Vanessa, Marcy,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2065.55,"endTime":2070.65,"body":"I don't know if you like, saw"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2070.65,"endTime":2074.82,"body":"any of my like my shares on on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2070.65,"endTime":2074.82,"body":"social media, but I'm mixed"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2074.82,"endTime":2079.47,"body":"race. So I've got the European,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2074.82,"endTime":2079.47,"body":"African and indigenous, and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2079.47,"endTime":2083.19,"body":"literally my hair was like, like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2079.47,"endTime":2083.19,"body":"the three things like my person,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2083.52,"endTime":2086.82,"body":"my person doing it like teeter."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2083.52,"endTime":2086.82,"body":"She was just like, oh my god,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2086.82,"endTime":2090.54,"body":"like Wow, she's like, are you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2086.82,"endTime":2090.54,"body":"black? I'm like, she's like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2090.54,"endTime":2094.59,"body":"pulling curly hairs out of my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2090.54,"endTime":2094.59,"body":"neck. So like that was kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2094.59,"endTime":2098.7,"body":"difficult, because just like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2094.59,"endTime":2098.7,"body":"what the body was producing, but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2099.66,"endTime":2103.74,"body":"I will and a ton about skin. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2099.66,"endTime":2103.74,"body":"like being 55 I don't feel like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2103.74,"endTime":2109.02,"body":"I looked at before. So I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2103.74,"endTime":2109.02,"body":"floored. Yeah, I mean part of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2109.02,"endTime":2113.43,"body":"its HRT, right. And part of it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2109.02,"endTime":2113.43,"body":"is what I learned going through"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2113.43,"endTime":2118.23,"body":"electrolysis, which is hydrate,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2113.43,"endTime":2118.23,"body":"exfoliate, moisturize. Protect"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2118.23,"endTime":2121.74,"body":"yourself in the sun. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2118.23,"endTime":2121.74,"body":"yeah. I mean, I went out last"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2121.74,"endTime":2125.07,"body":"weekend, you know, waiting"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2121.74,"endTime":2125.07,"body":"Beach, read a book at the pole."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2125.19,"endTime":2129.78,"body":"Right? You know, but like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2125.19,"endTime":2129.78,"body":"much more vigilant on that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2129.78,"endTime":2132.0,"body":"stuff. So I mean, I do an Ivan"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2129.78,"endTime":2132.0,"body":"night routine, I've got a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2132.0,"endTime":2135.9,"body":"morning routine, like, all this"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2132.0,"endTime":2135.9,"body":"stuff helps. You know, and like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2135.9,"endTime":2139.77,"body":"for me not doing facial surgery"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2135.9,"endTime":2139.77,"body":"because of like, you know, just,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2140.67,"endTime":2144.03,"body":"I don't want to raise who my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2140.67,"endTime":2144.03,"body":"ancestors have given me. So I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2144.03,"endTime":2148.59,"body":"want to, like maintain. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2144.03,"endTime":2148.59,"body":"I even had hair come back. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2148.59,"endTime":2150.78,"body":"like, you know, when you started"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2148.59,"endTime":2150.78,"body":"having a receding hairline, I've"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2150.78,"endTime":2153.63,"body":"got a little bit of right here."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2150.78,"endTime":2153.63,"body":"But I started seeing hair growth"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2153.63,"endTime":2158.28,"body":"where I didn't have hair, you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2153.63,"endTime":2158.28,"body":"know, and just so like, I don't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2158.28,"endTime":2161.49,"body":"know, the entire experience for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2158.28,"endTime":2161.49,"body":"me has exceeded expectations."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2161.97,"endTime":2165.87,"body":"Like being 4045. When I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2161.97,"endTime":2165.87,"body":"going through the mechanism and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2165.87,"endTime":2169.35,"body":"motions of doing this, I was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2165.87,"endTime":2169.35,"body":"like, Oh, this is gonna suck."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2169.86,"endTime":2172.11,"body":"Yeah, I'm not gonna be happy."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2169.86,"endTime":2172.11,"body":"And like, I'm like, This is"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2172.11,"endTime":2175.08,"body":"gonna be horrible. And now I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2172.11,"endTime":2175.08,"body":"look at myself. And I'm just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2175.08,"endTime":2178.71,"body":"like, what was like thinking?"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2175.08,"endTime":2178.71,"body":"Right? Like, it just, it just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2178.71,"endTime":2182.97,"body":"worked out. And results very"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2178.71,"endTime":2182.97,"body":"right for everyone. And some"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2182.97,"endTime":2186.15,"body":"people have other things that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2182.97,"endTime":2186.15,"body":"they need to work on that they"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2186.15,"endTime":2190.14,"body":"want to better represent"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2186.15,"endTime":2190.14,"body":"themselves. Are they all who"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2190.14,"endTime":2193.41,"body":"they are internally"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2190.14,"endTime":2193.41,"body":"authentically? Right. So I just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2193.41,"endTime":2196.17,"body":"got a little bit lucky. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2193.41,"endTime":2196.17,"body":"yeah, I do. I have some features"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2196.17,"endTime":2199.29,"body":"that, you know, that look a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2196.17,"endTime":2199.29,"body":"little bit more masculine. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2199.86,"endTime":2203.52,"body":"you remember that AI that we"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2199.86,"endTime":2203.52,"body":"tried for the headshots, like I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2203.52,"endTime":2207.45,"body":"had 30 or 40 of those headshots"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2203.52,"endTime":2207.45,"body":"came out, looking kind of alien."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2207.75,"endTime":2212.91,"body":"Right? Same kind of structure."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2207.75,"endTime":2212.91,"body":"Right? You're saying female"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2212.91,"endTime":2216.27,"body":"Plus, my bone structure was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2212.91,"endTime":2216.27,"body":"like, cannot compute. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2216.27,"endTime":2218.91,"body":"got something made me look like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2216.27,"endTime":2218.91,"body":"add one small lie. It was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2219.0,"endTime":2222.57,"body":"bizarre. But I'm okay with that."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2219.0,"endTime":2222.57,"body":"Right. Like, so computer can"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2222.57,"endTime":2226.89,"body":"recognize me him like I'm good."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2222.57,"endTime":2226.89,"body":"But I'm really satisfied. Sorry,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2226.89,"endTime":2227.55,"body":"just soapbox."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2227.88,"endTime":2231.99,"body":"Now, now, that's what"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2227.88,"endTime":2231.99,"body":"we're here for. And it's like, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2232.29,"endTime":2235.35,"body":"I look at you and your your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2232.29,"endTime":2235.35,"body":"fucking transition goals. So."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2235.74,"endTime":2239.04,"body":"And like when you told me that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2235.74,"endTime":2239.04,"body":"you're 55? I was like, wait, no."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2239.04,"endTime":2242.55,"body":"How's that possible? So I'm 41."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2239.04,"endTime":2242.55,"body":"I thought you were like my age"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2242.55,"endTime":2248.01,"body":"or younger. So I'm like, Okay,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2242.55,"endTime":2248.01,"body":"well, estrogen rocks, though,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2248.01,"endTime":2251.1,"body":"sis, girls are all jealous of us"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2248.01,"endTime":2251.1,"body":"too, just because we stay on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2251.1,"endTime":2254.91,"body":"estrogen our whole lives, which"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2251.1,"endTime":2254.91,"body":"kind of, you know, helps. All"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2254.91,"endTime":2255.63,"body":"that stuff."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2255.63,"endTime":2258.09,"body":"I was talking to one of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2255.63,"endTime":2258.09,"body":"my sis friends about that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2258.09,"endTime":2260.28,"body":"earlier, because she's like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2258.09,"endTime":2260.28,"body":"I'm so jealous of you. Because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2260.28,"endTime":2264.69,"body":"your skin is so great. And I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2260.28,"endTime":2264.69,"body":"like, well, like estrogen is a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2264.69,"endTime":2268.32,"body":"natural, like, it does make your"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2264.69,"endTime":2268.32,"body":"skin better. But if you've had,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2268.35,"endTime":2270.45,"body":"it's kind of like lotion. If"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2268.35,"endTime":2270.45,"body":"you've rubbed lotion on your"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2270.45,"endTime":2274.05,"body":"body your whole life. You're not"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2270.45,"endTime":2274.05,"body":"going to notice the differences"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2274.05,"endTime":2277.26,"body":"as much as when you start using"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2274.05,"endTime":2277.26,"body":"lotion for the first time. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2278.31,"endTime":2280.98,"body":"It's there's some of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2278.31,"endTime":2280.98,"body":"that. Yeah, very true."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2281.13,"endTime":2284.28,"body":"So interestingly, in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2281.13,"endTime":2284.28,"body":"talking about getting mistaken"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2284.28,"endTime":2289.77,"body":"for younger, before my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2284.28,"endTime":2289.77,"body":"transition, I was always clocked"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2289.8,"endTime":2296.4,"body":"as like, 25 ish, like 25 years"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2289.8,"endTime":2296.4,"body":"old. And I'm 33 now. And so I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2296.4,"endTime":2302.94,"body":"started my hormones when I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2296.4,"endTime":2302.94,"body":"32. And so I don't get clocked"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2302.97,"endTime":2308.4,"body":"as like a young person anymore."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2302.97,"endTime":2308.4,"body":"People assume I am my age, but I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2308.4,"endTime":2313.44,"body":"almost always pass as female."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2308.4,"endTime":2313.44,"body":"And so I think I just traded my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2313.44,"endTime":2318.81,"body":"youthful looks for passing,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2313.44,"endTime":2318.81,"body":"which I'm okay with. It could"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2318.81,"endTime":2321.24,"body":"definitely be worse things than"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2318.81,"endTime":2321.24,"body":"that. So because I haven't had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2321.24,"endTime":2324.12,"body":"any electrolysis, I haven't had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2321.24,"endTime":2324.12,"body":"any laser. I haven't had any"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2324.12,"endTime":2326.85,"body":"surgeries. I haven't had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2324.12,"endTime":2326.85,"body":"anything. It's just shaving."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2327.75,"endTime":2330.54,"body":"Yeah, I mean, I've never had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2327.75,"endTime":2330.54,"body":"much facial hair to begin with,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2330.54,"endTime":2333.36,"body":"oh, I never had much facial"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2330.54,"endTime":2333.36,"body":"hair. I never really had an"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2333.36,"endTime":2337.83,"body":"Adam's apple. Like, there is a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2333.36,"endTime":2337.83,"body":"lot of like male fate features"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2337.83,"endTime":2342.09,"body":"that I just never really had."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2337.83,"endTime":2342.09,"body":"And so, but when I think about"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2342.09,"endTime":2345.45,"body":"the future, like thinking about"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2342.09,"endTime":2345.45,"body":"FFS, I'd really like to just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2345.45,"endTime":2349.35,"body":"undo the damage testosterone did"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2345.45,"endTime":2349.35,"body":"to my face, same like I can see"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2349.35,"endTime":2353.25,"body":"my brow like a bit of my nose,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2349.35,"endTime":2353.25,"body":"maybe the jawline, a bit like I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2353.25,"endTime":2356.52,"body":"can see that. It's just not"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2353.25,"endTime":2356.52,"body":"where I want it. You know what I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2356.52,"endTime":2359.64,"body":"mean? And I'd probably be fine."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2356.52,"endTime":2359.64,"body":"I'm going to be fine in a year"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2359.64,"endTime":2363.57,"body":"or two, with how I am and with"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2359.64,"endTime":2363.57,"body":"my bone structure, but every"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2363.57,"endTime":2366.18,"body":"time I think about FFS, it's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2363.57,"endTime":2366.18,"body":"like, yeah, I want that. And"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2366.18,"endTime":2368.64,"body":"that's like the one surgery that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2366.18,"endTime":2368.64,"body":"I'm always like, yeah, I want"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2369.39,"endTime":2371.88,"body":"the other ones. I kind of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2369.39,"endTime":2371.88,"body":"oscillate back and forth between"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2371.88,"endTime":2376.23,"body":"like that one I'm always like,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2371.88,"endTime":2376.23,"body":"yeah, I really want that."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2376.53,"endTime":2379.14,"body":"Yeah, I mean, that's how"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2376.53,"endTime":2379.14,"body":"I was for about five or six"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2379.14,"endTime":2382.56,"body":"years until I just realized,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2379.14,"endTime":2382.56,"body":"like, you know, I'm not going to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2382.59,"endTime":2387.18,"body":"erase ancestors. Male, I got"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2382.59,"endTime":2387.18,"body":"what I got. I like, I like it."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2387.66,"endTime":2391.23,"body":"I'm confident. I feel good. You"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2387.66,"endTime":2391.23,"body":"know, I look in the mirror and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2391.23,"endTime":2391.71,"body":"I'm okay."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2392.19,"endTime":2395.37,"body":"I don't want to. I don't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2392.19,"endTime":2395.37,"body":"want to like change my face. I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2395.37,"endTime":2399.15,"body":"just want those little subtle"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2395.37,"endTime":2399.15,"body":"things. I know when I have the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2399.15,"endTime":2403.77,"body":"same face No, I understand. Can"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2399.15,"endTime":2403.77,"body":"I get what you're saying? No to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2403.77,"endTime":2403.98,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2404.01,"endTime":2408.39,"body":"my thing is a little bit"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2404.01,"endTime":2408.39,"body":"more ethnic. So it's like, when"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2408.39,"endTime":2410.88,"body":"I was going in to talk to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2408.39,"endTime":2410.88,"body":"surgeons that I did have a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2410.88,"endTime":2414.45,"body":"couple of conversations, but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2410.88,"endTime":2414.45,"body":"everybody they showed me was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2414.45,"endTime":2418.89,"body":"white. Right? So like, if you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2414.45,"endTime":2418.89,"body":"see the nose and profile, it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2418.89,"endTime":2422.46,"body":"ain't small. Right? So, like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2418.89,"endTime":2422.46,"body":"those are the things like for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2422.46,"endTime":2426.81,"body":"me, I feel like, I don't want to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2422.46,"endTime":2426.81,"body":"look like just an average white"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2426.81,"endTime":2431.49,"body":"girl. Like I want to be able to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2426.81,"endTime":2431.49,"body":"represent and be who I am. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2431.49,"endTime":2434.7,"body":"that's not who I am. Right. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2431.49,"endTime":2434.7,"body":"in all the examples I got were"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2434.7,"endTime":2437.61,"body":"that so I'm like, it felt like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2434.7,"endTime":2437.61,"body":"they didn't really they were"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2437.61,"endTime":2439.41,"body":"like, hey, doesn't matter who"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2437.61,"endTime":2439.41,"body":"you are, we're going to make you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2439.41,"endTime":2442.83,"body":"this. And that's what I got from"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2439.41,"endTime":2442.83,"body":"Kaiser. And I was like, put a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2442.83,"endTime":2446.46,"body":"hard pass on that. Yeah. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2442.83,"endTime":2446.46,"body":"I don't I don't disparage people"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2446.46,"endTime":2449.61,"body":"for like, listen, y'all,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2446.46,"endTime":2449.61,"body":"everybody has to do what they"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2449.61,"endTime":2455.19,"body":"need to do to feel their best in"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2449.61,"endTime":2455.19,"body":"this life. Right. So I support"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2455.19,"endTime":2458.61,"body":"people doing anything that makes"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2455.19,"endTime":2458.61,"body":"them feel better about"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2458.61,"endTime":2459.48,"body":"themselves. Right."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2459.96,"endTime":2463.35,"body":"I support. I support"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2459.96,"endTime":2463.35,"body":"you, too. Yes, I think what you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2463.35,"endTime":2467.16,"body":"have is a very valid, very"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2463.35,"endTime":2467.16,"body":"lovely, very lovely attitude."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2467.28,"endTime":2468.09,"body":"I agree."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2468.27,"endTime":2470.34,"body":"But for me, I just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2468.27,"endTime":2470.34,"body":"want... Yeah, I mean, you know,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2470.37,"endTime":2473.07,"body":"I made my decision. And I'm cool"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2470.37,"endTime":2473.07,"body":"with it. I mean, my problem is"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2473.07,"endTime":2478.2,"body":"not like with passing is 200"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2473.07,"endTime":2478.2,"body":"pounds plus, and I'm six foot"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2478.2,"endTime":2482.58,"body":"one. I kind of look like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2478.2,"endTime":2482.58,"body":"guardian. So it's relatively off"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2482.58,"endTime":2486.42,"body":"putting for humans. So it's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2482.58,"endTime":2486.42,"body":"like, you know, that's my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2486.42,"endTime":2489.18,"body":"problem. Like, you know, if they"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2486.42,"endTime":2489.18,"body":"just see a picture of me,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2489.18,"endTime":2491.19,"body":"they're like, oh, okay, they see"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2489.18,"endTime":2491.19,"body":"me in person. They're like,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2493.65,"endTime":2495.69,"body":"yeah, people always"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2493.65,"endTime":2495.69,"body":"like, tell me like on my social"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2495.69,"endTime":2497.46,"body":"media, I'll get past the wall."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2495.69,"endTime":2497.46,"body":"I'm like, you don't see me in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2497.46,"endTime":2503.46,"body":"person? Like, I? Yeah, I'm, I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2497.46,"endTime":2503.46,"body":"six foot two and 35 pounds. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2503.91,"endTime":2506.91,"body":"I have a presence. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2506.0,"endTime":2510.29,"body":"I'm  5'9\", 170"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2510.5,"endTime":2511.85,"body":"Oh, you lucky."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2513.26,"endTime":2515.48,"body":"I am somewhat envious. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2513.26,"endTime":2515.48,"body":"lost"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2515.6,"endTime":2520.19,"body":"I lost an inch of height"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2515.6,"endTime":2520.19,"body":"from HRT. All right. I know it"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2520.19,"endTime":2522.95,"body":"myself yet. Well, three quarters"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2520.19,"endTime":2522.95,"body":"of an inch."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2523.49,"endTime":2526.49,"body":"That's very common. A"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2523.49,"endTime":2526.49,"body":"lot of people lose an inch or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2526.49,"endTime":2530.24,"body":"even two. shoe sizes go down. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2526.49,"endTime":2530.24,"body":"haven't measured myself to see"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2530.24,"endTime":2531.8,"body":"if I've shrunk. But"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2532.13,"endTime":2534.56,"body":"I think my shoe size has"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2532.13,"endTime":2534.56,"body":"gone down because I put some old"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2534.56,"endTime":2536.6,"body":"ones on the other day and they"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2534.56,"endTime":2536.6,"body":"felt loose."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2537.08,"endTime":2540.23,"body":"That's about a second"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2537.08,"endTime":2540.23,"body":"because finding shoes in any"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2540.23,"endTime":2543.83,"body":"size that's not eight or smaller"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2540.23,"endTime":2543.83,"body":"is hard."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2544.22,"endTime":2546.56,"body":"I still feel like an"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2544.22,"endTime":2546.56,"body":"ogre when I'm barreling down the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2546.56,"endTime":2547.1,"body":"street though."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2547.13,"endTime":2551.33,"body":"Yeah, yeah, I hear you."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2547.13,"endTime":2551.33,"body":"My I managed to get into"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2551.33,"endTime":2557.36,"body":"syscalls now, but is for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2551.33,"endTime":2557.36,"body":"surgeries for like the facial"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2557.36,"endTime":2562.31,"body":"feminization. For me. I've, I've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2557.36,"endTime":2562.31,"body":"talked myself into. Like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2562.31,"endTime":2567.29,"body":"still Marcia, you and I aren't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2562.31,"endTime":2567.29,"body":"too far apart in our time on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2567.29,"endTime":2571.37,"body":"HRT. And from what I've seen,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2567.29,"endTime":2571.37,"body":"it's like the two and a half"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2571.37,"endTime":2576.53,"body":"three year mark, where things"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2571.37,"endTime":2576.53,"body":"really start to in the face"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2576.53,"endTime":2580.67,"body":"really start to kind of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2576.53,"endTime":2580.67,"body":"coalesce. And so I want to wait"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2580.67,"endTime":2584.6,"body":"until after that to get the FFS"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2580.67,"endTime":2584.6,"body":"but I'm just saying like, this"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2584.6,"endTime":2588.05,"body":"brow, and chin and all that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2584.6,"endTime":2588.05,"body":"stuff, like some of the things,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2588.23,"endTime":2590.96,"body":"I definitely want to have, you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2588.23,"endTime":2590.96,"body":"know, just tweaked a little bit"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2590.96,"endTime":2594.8,"body":"like you. But I'm gonna lose"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2590.96,"endTime":2594.8,"body":"weight first. I don't even know"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2594.8,"endTime":2599.39,"body":"if I haven't Adam's apple. My"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2594.8,"endTime":2599.39,"body":"high school. Senior picture"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2599.42,"endTime":2602.75,"body":"shows me with one. But I've been"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2599.42,"endTime":2602.75,"body":"so heavy for so long. I don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2602.75,"endTime":2605.15,"body":"know what I look like when I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2602.75,"endTime":2605.15,"body":"skinny. But I'm working on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2605.18,"endTime":2609.5,"body":"fixing that anyways. And I do"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2605.18,"endTime":2609.5,"body":"want to do the vocal, the voice"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2609.5,"endTime":2613.91,"body":"surgery. I'm actually meeting"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2609.5,"endTime":2613.91,"body":"with the doctor about that in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2613.91,"endTime":2619.34,"body":"July. And that would be done"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2613.91,"endTime":2619.34,"body":"after my bachelor plasti. But"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2619.88,"endTime":2622.88,"body":"it's kind of a thing where it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2619.88,"endTime":2622.88,"body":"just an outpatient procedure,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2622.91,"endTime":2626.33,"body":"but you can't talk for two"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2622.91,"endTime":2626.33,"body":"weeks. So I kind of want to have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2626.33,"endTime":2629.63,"body":"a job lined up for that so I can"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2626.33,"endTime":2629.63,"body":"kind of figure to make it."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2631.37,"endTime":2636.2,"body":"I love that for you. But"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2631.37,"endTime":2636.2,"body":"oh, I would lose. I still like"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2636.2,"endTime":2637.85,"body":"doing those deep voices"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2636.2,"endTime":2637.85,"body":"sometimes."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2637.88,"endTime":2641.96,"body":"I know. Yeah. We talked"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2637.88,"endTime":2641.96,"body":"about that. And that's awesome."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2643.43,"endTime":2649.37,"body":"I I just might my voice gets so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2643.43,"endTime":2649.37,"body":"tired trying to modify it with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2649.37,"endTime":2653.72,"body":"both pitch and everything else"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2649.37,"endTime":2653.72,"body":"like my practice. Yeah, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2653.72,"endTime":2659.09,"body":"but I it's a fun. You don't have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2653.72,"endTime":2659.09,"body":"to do voice training to oh, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2659.09,"endTime":2662.39,"body":"want to I have my dysphoria is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2659.09,"endTime":2662.39,"body":"like comes from fucking"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2662.39,"endTime":2669.74,"body":"everywhere. So it's just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2662.39,"endTime":2669.74,"body":"annoying. But let's see. And I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2669.74,"endTime":2675.74,"body":"love that for you. Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2669.74,"endTime":2675.74,"body":"like, for FFS, like, following"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2675.74,"endTime":2678.86,"body":"like dealing Mulvaney, at first"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2675.74,"endTime":2678.86,"body":"I'm like, because she had it at"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2678.86,"endTime":2682.79,"body":"about her 11 month mark. She"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2678.86,"endTime":2682.79,"body":"hadn't really early. Yeah, she"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2682.79,"endTime":2685.01,"body":"had it really early, and like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2682.79,"endTime":2685.01,"body":"that's too early. But then I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2685.01,"endTime":2689.18,"body":"like, you know, what, who am I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2685.01,"endTime":2689.18,"body":"to judge? You know, so I was"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2689.18,"endTime":2691.82,"body":"surprised to see that she got it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2689.18,"endTime":2691.82,"body":"that early. But I can also"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2691.82,"endTime":2693.92,"body":"understand because she is in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2691.82,"endTime":2693.92,"body":"public eye."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2694.25,"endTime":2696.68,"body":"Yeah. And anybody who"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2694.25,"endTime":2696.68,"body":"puts themselves out on social"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2696.68,"endTime":2699.08,"body":"media, you can judge that's the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2696.68,"endTime":2699.08,"body":"whole point of social media."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2699.08,"endTime":2699.59,"body":"Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2699.77,"endTime":2705.41,"body":"true. I'm sure I don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2699.77,"endTime":2705.41,"body":"like to judge her. But so for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2705.41,"endTime":2707.75,"body":"people that are kind of freshly"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2705.41,"endTime":2707.75,"body":"created I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2707.78,"endTime":2711.92,"body":"can I give my like hot"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2707.78,"endTime":2711.92,"body":"take? Yeah. Mulvaney. Yes. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2711.92,"endTime":2714.95,"body":"I'm sure she's lovely. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2711.92,"endTime":2714.95,"body":"sure she's wonderful, but I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2714.95,"endTime":2722.48,"body":"cannot stand her content. She is"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2714.95,"endTime":2722.48,"body":"way too perky. She's to perky"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2722.48,"endTime":2728.69,"body":"and then also she kind of shows"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2722.48,"endTime":2728.69,"body":"a side of trans position that is"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2729.92,"endTime":2732.62,"body":"highly get catered to people who"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2729.92,"endTime":2732.62,"body":"are very wealthy."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2732.65,"endTime":2736.34,"body":"Yeah, that's definitely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2732.65,"endTime":2736.34,"body":"definitely."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2736.37,"endTime":2741.17,"body":"So it's it's not an"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2736.37,"endTime":2741.17,"body":"authentic look into the trans"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2741.17,"endTime":2744.35,"body":"experience. It's it's an"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2741.17,"endTime":2744.35,"body":"authentic look into the trans"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2744.35,"endTime":2749.54,"body":"celebrity experience. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2744.35,"endTime":2749.54,"body":"Yeah. And like I probably said,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2749.54,"endTime":2752.93,"body":"yeah, very well said, I don't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2749.54,"endTime":2752.93,"body":"mind her. But she also goes into"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2752.93,"endTime":2756.74,"body":"that little like, oh, trans"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2752.93,"endTime":2756.74,"body":"people are just focusing so much"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2756.74,"endTime":2759.77,"body":"on the joy that she doesn't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2756.74,"endTime":2759.77,"body":"focus very much on, like some of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2759.77,"endTime":2764.75,"body":"the challenges. Yeah, so I am"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2759.77,"endTime":2764.75,"body":"not here to judge. She's a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2764.75,"endTime":2765.71,"body":"wonderful person."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2766.1,"endTime":2769.22,"body":"i She has so much hate"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2766.1,"endTime":2769.22,"body":"that that's thrown at her. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2769.22,"endTime":2771.02,"body":"don't really know she has the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2771.05,"endTime":2773.81,"body":"she's a lightning rod."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2771.05,"endTime":2773.81,"body":"Because she is hilarious. She"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2773.81,"endTime":2777.5,"body":"has a lot of followers. So she"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2773.81,"endTime":2777.5,"body":"gets the hate. And so in that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2777.5,"endTime":2780.74,"body":"instance, I'm always here to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2777.5,"endTime":2780.74,"body":"support her. My sister in that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2780.74,"endTime":2784.04,"body":"way. I might not like her"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2780.74,"endTime":2784.04,"body":"content personally, but I'm"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2784.04,"endTime":2785.33,"body":"gonna be here to support her."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2786.56,"endTime":2790.13,"body":"I'm kind of in the same"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2786.56,"endTime":2790.13,"body":"boat. Like, I felt like, no, no,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2790.13,"endTime":2793.01,"body":"it just feels like that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2790.13,"endTime":2793.01,"body":"celebrity transition or trans"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2793.49,"endTime":2800.03,"body":"kind of persona is so centered"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2793.49,"endTime":2800.03,"body":"on self. Right? I think there's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2800.03,"endTime":2803.75,"body":"just, I don't I just leave that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2800.03,"endTime":2803.75,"body":"so many people, right. Like, I'm"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2803.75,"endTime":2806.78,"body":"not a fan of her content. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2803.75,"endTime":2806.78,"body":"mean, support her. And like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2806.99,"endTime":2812.36,"body":"trans sibling, you've got my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2806.99,"endTime":2812.36,"body":"support. You know, backing you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2812.36,"endTime":2816.53,"body":"on the blood like thing. I just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2812.36,"endTime":2816.53,"body":"don't engage with our content at"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2816.53,"endTime":2820.13,"body":"all. I mean, for me, like the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2816.53,"endTime":2820.13,"body":"worst one was Caitlyn Jenner. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2820.13,"endTime":2823.76,"body":"mean, I will never forgive that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2820.13,"endTime":2823.76,"body":"bitch. Not for what she did in"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2823.76,"endTime":2828.59,"body":"2016. Like ever. And he does not"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2823.76,"endTime":2828.59,"body":"speak for me. He does not speak"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2828.59,"endTime":2832.4,"body":"for the community. And I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2828.59,"endTime":2832.4,"body":"Just go away. Besh. Like, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2833.27,"endTime":2835.85,"body":"and just the self centeredness"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2833.27,"endTime":2835.85,"body":"of like, I know, like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2836.09,"endTime":2839.51,"body":"everything we do in socialist"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2836.09,"endTime":2839.51,"body":"has some kind of self centering."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2840.11,"endTime":2843.53,"body":"But the message you should do"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2840.11,"endTime":2843.53,"body":"should be focused on? I don't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2843.53,"endTime":2846.8,"body":"know, it just feels like not"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2843.53,"endTime":2846.8,"body":"yourself, I guess. I don't know."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2847.31,"endTime":2851.63,"body":"But I said no judgments support"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2847.31,"endTime":2851.63,"body":"her, but just don't really"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2851.63,"endTime":2854.9,"body":"engage with the content. Now I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2851.63,"endTime":2854.9,"body":"don't support Caitlyn. Because"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2854.99,"endTime":2856.55,"body":"just that was just wrong."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2856.79,"endTime":2860.87,"body":"Yeah. Now Caitlyn is."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2856.79,"endTime":2860.87,"body":"Now she's she's a horrible,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2860.87,"endTime":2862.94,"body":"she's just flat out a horrible"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2860.87,"endTime":2862.94,"body":"human."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2863.39,"endTime":2867.71,"body":"And I go back to what we"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2863.39,"endTime":2867.71,"body":"were saying about kind of how"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2867.74,"endTime":2871.46,"body":"the transition celebrity"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2867.74,"endTime":2871.46,"body":"transition is kind of very self"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2871.46,"endTime":2874.67,"body":"centered, and very, like, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2871.46,"endTime":2874.67,"body":"look at this. Look, what I'm"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2874.67,"endTime":2876.65,"body":"getting to do isn't this"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2874.67,"endTime":2876.65,"body":"exciting, blah, blah, or"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2876.65,"endTime":2882.32,"body":"whatever. One of the big, big,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2876.65,"endTime":2882.32,"body":"big, big reasons that I started,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2882.32,"endTime":2885.65,"body":"my transition was for the people"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2882.32,"endTime":2885.65,"body":"who were in my life, not just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2885.65,"endTime":2888.71,"body":"for myself, because I know that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2885.65,"endTime":2888.71,"body":"the only way that I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2888.71,"endTime":2893.81,"body":"be able to love well, and love"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2888.71,"endTime":2893.81,"body":"the best that I can, is by going"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2893.81,"endTime":2897.98,"body":"through that transition. And so"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2893.81,"endTime":2897.98,"body":"I'm not giving people the best"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2897.98,"endTime":2902.21,"body":"version of myself until I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2897.98,"endTime":2902.21,"body":"transition. So for me,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2902.21,"endTime":2904.31,"body":"transition is also a selfless"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2902.21,"endTime":2904.31,"body":"act."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2904.4,"endTime":2907.76,"body":"You just Yeah, you've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2904.4,"endTime":2907.76,"body":"nailed it. That's so true. You"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2907.76,"endTime":2911.3,"body":"can't, you can't really truly"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2907.76,"endTime":2911.3,"body":"love others. If you before you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2911.3,"endTime":2919.25,"body":"can truly love yourself. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2911.3,"endTime":2919.25,"body":"so it's, and when we're, when"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2919.25,"endTime":2924.35,"body":"we're not out, it's, we're not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2919.25,"endTime":2924.35,"body":"ourselves. It's very hard to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2924.35,"endTime":2925.91,"body":"explain this as people. That's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2924.35,"endTime":2925.91,"body":"something"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2925.91,"endTime":2929.75,"body":"that gets lost a lot."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2925.91,"endTime":2929.75,"body":"Because most of the questions"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2929.75,"endTime":2934.58,"body":"people ask are things like, Are"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2929.75,"endTime":2934.58,"body":"you happier? Or is it good for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2934.58,"endTime":2938.12,"body":"you or something like that? Not"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2934.58,"endTime":2938.12,"body":"a lot of people ask, How have"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2938.12,"endTime":2941.96,"body":"the people in your life reacted"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2938.12,"endTime":2941.96,"body":"to be able to seeing you living"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2942.17,"endTime":2946.4,"body":"truly authentically, because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2942.17,"endTime":2946.4,"body":"generally, in those situations,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2946.4,"endTime":2949.85,"body":"it's like, I love this person"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2946.4,"endTime":2949.85,"body":"who they are now more than I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2949.85,"endTime":2954.62,"body":"love to, like, they're just more"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2949.85,"endTime":2954.62,"body":"them. It's more who they are"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2954.62,"endTime":2958.46,"body":"now. And I love that they get to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2954.62,"endTime":2958.46,"body":"be who they are. And they get to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2958.46,"endTime":2961.94,"body":"love me in a way that they"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2958.46,"endTime":2961.94,"body":"weren't able to do before. And I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2961.94,"endTime":2964.67,"body":"think that's something that gets"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2961.94,"endTime":2964.67,"body":"lost a lot in these transition"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2964.67,"endTime":2968.45,"body":"stories. Because a lot of times,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2964.67,"endTime":2968.45,"body":"people have expectations and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2968.45,"endTime":2970.85,"body":"expectations aren't met and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2968.45,"endTime":2970.85,"body":"relationships get broken or"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2970.85,"endTime":2975.11,"body":"things like that. And, but when"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2970.85,"endTime":2975.11,"body":"it comes down to it, if you're"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2975.11,"endTime":2977.45,"body":"going to love well, and you're"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2975.11,"endTime":2977.45,"body":"going to love your family, well."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2978.11,"endTime":2982.52,"body":"You need to you you need to take"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":2978.11,"endTime":2982.52,"body":"care of yourself."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2983.75,"endTime":2985.37,"body":"Exactly, exactly."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2985.91,"endTime":2990.74,"body":"I did a lot of cutting"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2985.91,"endTime":2990.74,"body":"myself, so I just shut family"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2990.74,"endTime":2996.05,"body":"off. I just shut friends off. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2990.74,"endTime":2996.05,"body":"don't like to explain myself,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2996.11,"endTime":3001.09,"body":"and I'm doing this for me. You"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":2996.11,"endTime":3001.09,"body":"know so like for me Five Decades"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3001.15,"endTime":3006.52,"body":"of, I kind of like ended, you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3001.15,"endTime":3006.52,"body":"know, that scene in the Pirates"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3006.52,"endTime":3009.31,"body":"of the Caribbean, where the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3006.52,"endTime":3009.31,"body":"captain bites the apple and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3009.31,"endTime":3013.06,"body":"utterance of dust in his mouth."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3009.31,"endTime":3013.06,"body":"Like, that's how it felt for me"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3013.06,"endTime":3017.5,"body":"for the first five decades,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3013.06,"endTime":3017.5,"body":"right? Of just no joy. Like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3017.5,"endTime":3021.58,"body":"what I thought was joy wasn't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3017.5,"endTime":3021.58,"body":"really joy. What I did for me,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3021.58,"endTime":3026.05,"body":"it was to save my life to take"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3021.58,"endTime":3026.05,"body":"care of me, right to prioritize"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3026.05,"endTime":3031.09,"body":"me, to help me survive and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3026.05,"endTime":3031.09,"body":"thrive. I was thriving, okay"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3031.09,"endTime":3033.64,"body":"with the masking and kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3031.09,"endTime":3033.64,"body":"like blending in with the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3033.64,"endTime":3038.68,"body":"humans. But I needed that, like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3033.64,"endTime":3038.68,"body":"I didn't, like, I didn't really"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3038.68,"endTime":3042.61,"body":"care what anybody thought,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3038.68,"endTime":3042.61,"body":"right. So I'm like, my car kind"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3042.61,"endTime":3045.67,"body":"of felt like Deadpool jumping"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3042.61,"endTime":3045.67,"body":"out of the painting. You know,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3045.67,"endTime":3048.7,"body":"I'm, like, gone, like, I don't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3045.67,"endTime":3048.7,"body":"have, like, I'm not gonna"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3048.7,"endTime":3052.84,"body":"explain myself not gonna deal"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3048.7,"endTime":3052.84,"body":"with anything. If I come out to,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3053.02,"endTime":3056.95,"body":"and that's a big if you can deal"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3053.02,"endTime":3056.95,"body":"with it then. But like, for me,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3056.95,"endTime":3060.73,"body":"I definitely was like, probably"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3056.95,"endTime":3060.73,"body":"a self centered act for me. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3060.73,"endTime":3064.42,"body":"less self left less self, Lis, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3060.73,"endTime":3064.42,"body":"totally get your point. But"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3064.42,"endTime":3067.27,"body":"like, for me, it was like, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3064.42,"endTime":3067.27,"body":"think I focused on myself for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3067.27,"endTime":3070.09,"body":"the first time. You know, and it"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3067.27,"endTime":3070.09,"body":"felt good."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3071.02,"endTime":3074.77,"body":"I think this really"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3071.02,"endTime":3074.77,"body":"solidifies how you hear over and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3074.77,"endTime":3079.51,"body":"over again, there is no right or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3074.77,"endTime":3079.51,"body":"wrong way to transition. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3079.54,"endTime":3082.54,"body":"just watching. If you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3079.54,"endTime":3082.54,"body":"watching and listening this"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3082.54,"endTime":3086.35,"body":"conversation, there's two very"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3082.54,"endTime":3086.35,"body":"different things, and both are"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3086.35,"endTime":3091.33,"body":"completely valid. So don't feel"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3086.35,"endTime":3091.33,"body":"like you have to be constrained"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3091.39,"endTime":3096.13,"body":"to rules. It's you do what is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3091.39,"endTime":3096.13,"body":"best for you. And what's safest"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3096.13,"endTime":3101.74,"body":"for you especially. So, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3096.13,"endTime":3101.74,"body":"it's kind of wild to I say,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3101.74,"endTime":3106.57,"body":"yeah, it's wild to hear all the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3101.74,"endTime":3106.57,"body":"different experiences like for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3106.57,"endTime":3112.81,"body":"me, I would say, and kind of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3106.57,"endTime":3112.81,"body":"somewhere in between util where,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3113.14,"endTime":3119.74,"body":"yeah, it did it for me. Has, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3113.14,"endTime":3119.74,"body":"just was miserable, and not who"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3119.74,"endTime":3124.03,"body":"I was, not who I was. That's why"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3119.74,"endTime":3124.03,"body":"I like the, the being in the egg"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3124.06,"endTime":3127.06,"body":"because it's really out as"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3124.06,"endTime":3127.06,"body":"you're like in the shell. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3127.06,"endTime":3129.94,"body":"then you finally start cracking"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3127.06,"endTime":3129.94,"body":"your way out to kind of see Oh,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3129.94,"endTime":3133.42,"body":"shit, this is what the world is."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3129.94,"endTime":3133.42,"body":"I knew I had to focus on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3134.32,"endTime":3138.43,"body":"bettering myself before I could"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3134.32,"endTime":3138.43,"body":"start being better than my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3138.43,"endTime":3142.69,"body":"family. So But as I've said"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3138.43,"endTime":3142.69,"body":"before, I'm kind of difficult to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3142.69,"endTime":3147.07,"body":"be around in person anyway. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3142.69,"endTime":3147.07,"body":"that's a whole other struggle."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3147.34,"endTime":3150.7,"body":"Yeah. And I'm not people"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3147.34,"endTime":3150.7,"body":"like to be around me. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3150.91,"endTime":3153.79,"body":"yeah, I've definitely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3150.91,"endTime":3153.79,"body":"got gotten that from you. You're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3154.42,"endTime":3158.17,"body":"both of you are very fun and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3154.42,"endTime":3158.17,"body":"pleasant people. So I'm not"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3159.01,"endTime":3161.95,"body":"There's two sides, like"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3159.01,"endTime":3161.95,"body":"one of my co workers will tell"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3161.95,"endTime":3164.95,"body":"you that. I will cuss somebody"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3161.95,"endTime":3164.95,"body":"out on the road driving to the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3164.95,"endTime":3168.07,"body":"airport, and then come out and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3164.95,"endTime":3168.07,"body":"like turn my rental car in and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3168.37,"endTime":3170.92,"body":"the woman who checks me out,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3168.37,"endTime":3170.92,"body":"it's like, oh my god, I love"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3170.92,"endTime":3173.56,"body":"your energy. My friend burst out"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3170.92,"endTime":3173.56,"body":"laughing. She's like, you just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3173.56,"endTime":3179.65,"body":"like cussed that guy out? What"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3173.56,"endTime":3179.65,"body":"is wrong with you? Right. You"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3179.65,"endTime":3186.64,"body":"know, and then this was like, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3179.65,"endTime":3186.64,"body":"was like, thank you. Yeah. Don't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3186.64,"endTime":3187.45,"body":"worry about that. I'm not."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3188.17,"endTime":3191.47,"body":"Yeah. I love being"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3188.17,"endTime":3191.47,"body":"called gorgeous. I love being"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3191.47,"endTime":3194.2,"body":"complimented on clothes. Like I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3191.47,"endTime":3194.2,"body":"have this blue dress that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3194.2,"endTime":3197.92,"body":"everywhere I go people love it."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3194.2,"endTime":3197.92,"body":"And that's so affirming to be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3197.92,"endTime":3199.24,"body":"told that you look good and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3197.92,"endTime":3199.24,"body":"something"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3201.1,"endTime":3203.8,"body":"is to look good in a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3201.1,"endTime":3203.8,"body":"suit in a masculine feminine"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3203.8,"endTime":3204.22,"body":"way."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3204.43,"endTime":3209.2,"body":"Yeah, yeah. I do love"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3204.43,"endTime":3209.2,"body":"that love. That's so fun to be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3209.2,"endTime":3210.31,"body":"able to pull that off."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3212.71,"endTime":3218.77,"body":"You either one. Done a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3212.71,"endTime":3218.77,"body":"photoshoot or not just wow. No,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3218.77,"endTime":3224.47,"body":"with no top one into me was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3218.77,"endTime":3224.47,"body":"something that I was like. I did"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3224.47,"endTime":3228.91,"body":"that with my sister down in LA."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3224.47,"endTime":3228.91,"body":"And I was like, wow, it just was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3228.91,"endTime":3232.69,"body":"free. And what were you What"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3228.91,"endTime":3232.69,"body":"were you wearing? I just had a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3232.69,"endTime":3239.26,"body":"black blazer like a fitted"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3232.69,"endTime":3239.26,"body":"blazer. Female Ah, okay. So the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3239.26,"endTime":3242.59,"body":"girls showing on the on the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3239.26,"endTime":3242.59,"body":"inside of the jacket, like about"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3242.59,"endTime":3247.48,"body":"like that, and just did a shot,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3242.59,"endTime":3247.48,"body":"and I find it. But um, she had"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3247.48,"endTime":3252.88,"body":"given me like a light smoky eye."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3247.48,"endTime":3252.88,"body":"She's a makeup artist. So I just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3252.88,"endTime":3255.55,"body":"went in there and did that. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3252.88,"endTime":3255.55,"body":"it just, I mean, it felt good."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3256.09,"endTime":3258.25,"body":"Like, I just loved it. Freeing."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3258.97,"endTime":3262.03,"body":"I want to do that. That"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3258.97,"endTime":3262.03,"body":"sounds really fun. But every"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3262.03,"endTime":3264.34,"body":"time I just like getting my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3262.03,"endTime":3264.34,"body":"picture taken so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3265.42,"endTime":3268.15,"body":"I found I talked about"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3265.42,"endTime":3268.15,"body":"in a previous episode, but I had"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3268.15,"endTime":3270.13,"body":"like this little phase where"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3268.15,"endTime":3270.13,"body":"like a couple of weeks where I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3270.13,"endTime":3275.98,"body":"was just taking nudes. And it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3270.13,"endTime":3275.98,"body":"was so affirming the people in"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3275.98,"endTime":3282.79,"body":"our Discord have been bombarded"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3275.98,"endTime":3282.79,"body":"by my tits, but and mine. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3286.45,"endTime":3290.29,"body":"But it's fun, it's freeing. It's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3286.45,"endTime":3290.29,"body":"liberating. Because, you know,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3290.29,"endTime":3293.8,"body":"we lived in all these years,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3290.29,"endTime":3293.8,"body":"these bodies that weren't ours."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3293.8,"endTime":3298.54,"body":"So now that we're finally these"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3293.8,"endTime":3298.54,"body":"things are starting to happen if"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3298.54,"endTime":3300.88,"body":"you're early in your transition"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3298.54,"endTime":3300.88,"body":"year Wondering when your tickets"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3300.88,"endTime":3305.38,"body":"are going to come in? They will"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3300.88,"endTime":3305.38,"body":"come. There's no guarantees on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3305.38,"endTime":3310.21,"body":"size. And there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3305.38,"endTime":3310.21,"body":"arguments on how progesterone"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3310.21,"endTime":3313.27,"body":"works. The three of us, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3310.21,"endTime":3313.27,"body":"believe we're all fans of it."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3313.27,"endTime":3317.59,"body":"I'm on two milligrams of it."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3313.27,"endTime":3317.59,"body":"Some people say it stops tip"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3317.59,"endTime":3321.34,"body":"growth, some people say it makes"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3317.59,"endTime":3321.34,"body":"them bigger. So there's it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3321.34,"endTime":3326.83,"body":"doesn't stop it. Yeah, I don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3321.34,"endTime":3326.83,"body":"think so. either. I, I've no"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3326.89,"endTime":3328.75,"body":"only thing that I've"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3326.89,"endTime":3328.75,"body":"heard is that there's no"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3328.75,"endTime":3332.62,"body":"evidence to show that it"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3328.75,"endTime":3332.62,"body":"supports growth. The reason that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3332.62,"endTime":3335.32,"body":"there's no evidence is because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3332.62,"endTime":3335.32,"body":"there haven't been any studies"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3335.32,"endTime":3337.93,"body":"on it. Exactly. Yeah. And so"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3335.32,"endTime":3337.93,"body":"it's like, well, of course,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3337.93,"endTime":3341.68,"body":"there's no evidence because the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3337.93,"endTime":3341.68,"body":"only who's going to finance"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3341.68,"endTime":3345.37,"body":"progesterone studies for trans"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3341.68,"endTime":3345.37,"body":"women, trans women, trans women,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3345.37,"endTime":3348.07,"body":"like, anecdotally, and with"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3345.37,"endTime":3348.07,"body":"research that we've developed"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3348.07,"endTime":3352.12,"body":"through the people are gathered,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3348.07,"endTime":3352.12,"body":"you can go to trans fam"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3352.15,"endTime":3355.57,"body":"science.org, or whatever. It's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3352.15,"endTime":3355.57,"body":"like, yeah, there's actually"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3355.57,"endTime":3359.68,"body":"evidence that it does, but just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3355.57,"endTime":3359.68,"body":"No. peer reviewed journals that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3359.71,"endTime":3361.96,"body":"are going to be publishing"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3359.71,"endTime":3361.96,"body":"something like that yet,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3362.02,"endTime":3363.01,"body":"eventually, they will"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3363.07,"endTime":3365.8,"body":"eventually, but right"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3363.07,"endTime":3365.8,"body":"now, there's no money in it. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3366.67,"endTime":3367.06,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3367.54,"endTime":3369.85,"body":"that's something in San"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3367.54,"endTime":3369.85,"body":"Francisco, and someone else"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3369.85,"endTime":3372.91,"body":"centers there who can do some"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3369.85,"endTime":3372.91,"body":"studies or Kaiser is going to do"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3372.91,"endTime":3378.37,"body":"something? I know we talked"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3372.91,"endTime":3378.37,"body":"about like, breast spreads and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3378.37,"endTime":3382.09,"body":"stuff, but I gotta be honest. It"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3378.37,"endTime":3382.09,"body":"was having relations with my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3382.09,"endTime":3387.49,"body":"partner. That made that so much"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3382.09,"endTime":3387.49,"body":"sweeter. Really? Holy shit."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3387.58,"endTime":3390.52,"body":"Yeah, it just was it was kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3387.58,"endTime":3390.52,"body":"amazing. Mind blowing, my head"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3390.52,"endTime":3396.55,"body":"was exploding. So y'all got that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3390.52,"endTime":3396.55,"body":"to look out for to? Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3396.55,"endTime":3398.44,"body":"don't know. Anybody else has"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3396.55,"endTime":3398.44,"body":"that thing. And I want to get"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3398.44,"endTime":3401.92,"body":"too raunchy. But, you know, make"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3398.44,"endTime":3401.92,"body":"it you're not safe for work. But"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3402.07,"endTime":3404.08,"body":"it was like, Yeah, amazing."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3402.07,"endTime":3404.08,"body":"This, this,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3404.0,"endTime":3406.73,"body":"this podcast is labeled"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3404.0,"endTime":3406.73,"body":"explicit. So you can say"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3406.73,"endTime":3410.0,"body":"whatever you want. You can swear"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3406.73,"endTime":3410.0,"body":"as much as you want, at least"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3410.03,"endTime":3416.24,"body":"Yeah, fuck shit ass. This does"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3410.03,"endTime":3416.24,"body":"go on YouTube, but we only have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3416.27,"endTime":3418.73,"body":"31 subscribers. So I'm not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3416.27,"endTime":3418.73,"body":"really worried about being"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3418.73,"endTime":3422.69,"body":"demonetized. Because we're still"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3418.73,"endTime":3422.69,"body":"like, a long way from getting to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3422.69,"endTime":3423.56,"body":"that point. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3424.25,"endTime":3427.7,"body":"I always had really"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3424.25,"endTime":3427.7,"body":"sensitive nipples, and then HRT"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3427.7,"endTime":3430.55,"body":"just turned that up. And I was"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3427.7,"endTime":3430.55,"body":"like, Okay, I like this."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3430.7,"endTime":3433.37,"body":"Mine, always her I hate"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3430.7,"endTime":3433.37,"body":"the people touching it. But now"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3433.37,"endTime":3437.39,"body":"I'm like, I, I'm celibate until"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3433.37,"endTime":3437.39,"body":"after my surgery, because I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3437.39,"endTime":3442.7,"body":"don't want any possible use of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3437.39,"endTime":3442.7,"body":"my current equipment. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3442.7,"endTime":3449.6,"body":"haven't had anyone play with my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3442.7,"endTime":3449.6,"body":"with my, with my bats. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3449.6,"endTime":3453.5,"body":"kind of looking forward to that."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3449.6,"endTime":3453.5,"body":"Because it sounds like it's a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3453.5,"endTime":3462.98,"body":"nice thing. So it's really good."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3453.5,"endTime":3462.98,"body":"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm, I am"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3463.01,"endTime":3468.38,"body":"eligible girl, I really do. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3463.01,"endTime":3468.38,"body":"can't wait to, to be able to do"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3468.38,"endTime":3473.09,"body":"that. But it just honestly, the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3468.38,"endTime":3473.09,"body":"idea of dating and or sex right"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3473.09,"endTime":3475.7,"body":"now is absolutely exhausting"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3473.09,"endTime":3475.7,"body":"period. But that's a whole other"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3475.7,"endTime":3480.35,"body":"story. So. But yeah, like when"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3475.7,"endTime":3480.35,"body":"you're transitioning early"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3480.35,"endTime":3485.39,"body":"transition, just, I think the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3480.35,"endTime":3485.39,"body":"best advice I have for people"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3485.39,"endTime":3489.2,"body":"going to the feminine side"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3485.39,"endTime":3489.2,"body":"taking issue and stuff like that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3489.2,"endTime":3494.84,"body":"is just give it time. Don't rush"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3489.2,"endTime":3494.84,"body":"it. It's definitely a marathon"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3494.84,"endTime":3499.37,"body":"and not a sprint. But things do"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3494.84,"endTime":3499.37,"body":"start changing. And I suggest"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3499.37,"endTime":3503.66,"body":"this is what I did. I never took"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3499.37,"endTime":3503.66,"body":"selfies before I transitioned"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3503.66,"endTime":3509.21,"body":"really. Now I take some photos"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3503.66,"endTime":3509.21,"body":"myself all the time. And, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3509.54,"endTime":3516.02,"body":"and so like, make, do transition"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3509.54,"endTime":3516.02,"body":"Tuesdays, there's a hashtag"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3516.02,"endTime":3518.96,"body":"transition Tuesday, I pretty"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3516.02,"endTime":3518.96,"body":"much on all of the social media"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3518.96,"endTime":3523.13,"body":"platforms, and find a picture of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3518.96,"endTime":3523.13,"body":"you when you just started and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3523.13,"endTime":3527.09,"body":"then you now so even if it's a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3523.13,"endTime":3527.09,"body":"three month, gap, a six month"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3527.09,"endTime":3529.7,"body":"gap, whatever, and just take"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3527.09,"endTime":3529.7,"body":"pictures in between you can make"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3529.7,"endTime":3532.07,"body":"videos or whatever you want to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3529.7,"endTime":3532.07,"body":"do it, just do it for yourself."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3532.4,"endTime":3537.26,"body":"But you will be fucking amazed"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3532.4,"endTime":3537.26,"body":"at especially if you do videos,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3537.26,"endTime":3539.9,"body":"too, because I just realized"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3537.26,"endTime":3539.9,"body":"I've watched some videos of me"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3539.93,"endTime":3543.65,"body":"from earlier on, and it's all"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3539.93,"endTime":3543.65,"body":"the lighting angles and stuff"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3543.65,"endTime":3546.98,"body":"are different that way. You'll"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3543.65,"endTime":3546.98,"body":"be amazed at how much has"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3546.98,"endTime":3551.6,"body":"changed that you haven't even"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3546.98,"endTime":3551.6,"body":"noticed. Like, I don't recognize"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3551.6,"endTime":3555.59,"body":"the person that I used to be,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3551.6,"endTime":3555.59,"body":"you know, a year and a half ago."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3555.62,"endTime":3560.63,"body":"So I'm sure, Marcia, you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3555.62,"endTime":3560.63,"body":"saying? Yeah, you're the same."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3560.66,"endTime":3561.02,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3561.05,"endTime":3564.41,"body":"I like to say that in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3561.05,"endTime":3564.41,"body":"your first like, at least in my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3564.41,"endTime":3568.01,"body":"first year of transition, all of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3564.41,"endTime":3568.01,"body":"myself has had an expiration"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3568.01,"endTime":3569.63,"body":"date of like less than three"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3568.01,"endTime":3569.63,"body":"months."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3570.59,"endTime":3575.06,"body":"Very good point. Very"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3570.59,"endTime":3575.06,"body":"good point. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3575.78,"endTime":3578.78,"body":"I was like a photo log,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3575.78,"endTime":3578.78,"body":"just seeing the problem."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3579.56,"endTime":3581.9,"body":"I have to run to the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3579.56,"endTime":3581.9,"body":"bathroom really bad, I'm sorry"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3582.05,"endTime":3582.86,"body":"No, you're fine."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3584.15,"endTime":3586.43,"body":"Yeah, I mean, I just use"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3584.15,"endTime":3586.43,"body":"as a federal log. I mean, when"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3586.43,"endTime":3591.02,"body":"you look at my Instagram, if you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3586.43,"endTime":3591.02,"body":"went down to like 2018 That's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3591.08,"endTime":3595.34,"body":"three or four months before HRT."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3591.08,"endTime":3595.34,"body":"So like that's at the bottom of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3595.34,"endTime":3598.61,"body":"the feed, but it's like, and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3595.34,"endTime":3598.61,"body":"then I look at like 2019 coming"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3598.61,"endTime":3601.7,"body":"out at work, either. Be on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3598.61,"endTime":3601.7,"body":"hormones for like a year and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3601.7,"endTime":3606.02,"body":"then, you know, just being five"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3601.7,"endTime":3606.02,"body":"years in. And it's completely"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3606.02,"endTime":3609.53,"body":"different for me. So, but I love"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3606.02,"endTime":3609.53,"body":"it. I mean, that one of that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3609.53,"endTime":3613.67,"body":"daily diary. So like, my partner"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3609.53,"endTime":3613.67,"body":"feels that way to self obsessed,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3613.67,"endTime":3616.19,"body":"but I'm like, You know what?"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3613.67,"endTime":3616.19,"body":"This is me looking at that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3616.19,"endTime":3621.95,"body":"growth over time. Like, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3616.19,"endTime":3621.95,"body":"it is so I don't normally use"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3621.95,"endTime":3624.68,"body":"like, I don't think you ever see"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3621.95,"endTime":3624.68,"body":"me really talk about trans joy."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3625.07,"endTime":3628.25,"body":"Because for me, it's just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3625.07,"endTime":3628.25,"body":"fucking joy, joy. You know,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3628.25,"endTime":3632.24,"body":"like, I don't have trans joy. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3628.25,"endTime":3632.24,"body":"just have amazing enjoy. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3632.24,"endTime":3636.95,"body":"just embrace it and just love"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3632.24,"endTime":3636.95,"body":"it. I mean, this road is hard."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3636.95,"endTime":3640.37,"body":"It's painful. Yeah, we just saw"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3636.95,"endTime":3640.37,"body":"like, that we were talking about"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3640.37,"endTime":3643.28,"body":"on Discord yesterday. It was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3640.37,"endTime":3643.28,"body":"like, you know, there's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3643.28,"endTime":3647.09,"body":"challenges, right? And it seems"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3643.28,"endTime":3647.09,"body":"like a whole bunch of people are"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3647.21,"endTime":3653.39,"body":"going against us. But it's like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3647.21,"endTime":3653.39,"body":"you know, it's for me. Like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3653.39,"endTime":3657.2,"body":"just the field the way I feel"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3653.39,"endTime":3657.2,"body":"right now. The way just talking"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3657.2,"endTime":3661.94,"body":"to y'all. Right? And just, you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3657.2,"endTime":3661.94,"body":"know, just being here. It's just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3661.94,"endTime":3664.55,"body":"amazing, right? So it's not"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3661.94,"endTime":3664.55,"body":"trans joy for me. It's just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3664.58,"endTime":3672.56,"body":"motherfucking joy. That's it."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3664.58,"endTime":3672.56,"body":"Yeah, I just, I mean, to me,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3672.56,"endTime":3676.73,"body":"it's just fortunate that I found"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3672.56,"endTime":3676.73,"body":"my way. Always here for those"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3676.73,"endTime":3678.71,"body":"who need a hand."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3679.79,"endTime":3684.44,"body":"It's, yeah, you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3679.79,"endTime":3684.44,"body":"right. It is just like, I think"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3684.44,"endTime":3688.04,"body":"we kind of focus, we might focus"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3684.44,"endTime":3688.04,"body":"too much on trans joy when it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3688.04,"endTime":3692.51,"body":"really just joy. But I think the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3688.04,"endTime":3692.51,"body":"trans parts of our lives, like,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3692.72,"endTime":3698.36,"body":"I really wish that being trans"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3692.72,"endTime":3698.36,"body":"wasn't so much of who I am, to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3698.36,"endTime":3702.86,"body":"the outside world. But that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3698.36,"endTime":3702.86,"body":"just kind of pushed on us by we"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3702.86,"endTime":3709.1,"body":"live in a society, you know,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3702.86,"endTime":3709.1,"body":"where we're just in hyper focus,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3709.13,"endTime":3713.81,"body":"and I'd rather just be able to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3709.13,"endTime":3713.81,"body":"just fucking go to the grocery"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3713.81,"endTime":3715.88,"body":"store and not have to worry"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3713.81,"endTime":3715.88,"body":"about that shit now, if go to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3715.88,"endTime":3718.64,"body":"grocery store and have to worry"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3715.88,"endTime":3718.64,"body":"about being fucking attacked,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3718.67,"endTime":3723.68,"body":"just because I'm visibly trans."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3718.67,"endTime":3723.68,"body":"And, but I really wish that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3723.71,"endTime":3727.97,"body":"trans joy, which is always for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3723.71,"endTime":3727.97,"body":"everyone, just be joy, joy. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3727.97,"endTime":3729.83,"body":"don't know where I was going"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3727.97,"endTime":3729.83,"body":"with that. And I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3730.46,"endTime":3733.49,"body":"think it's important to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3730.46,"endTime":3733.49,"body":"recognize the joy that comes"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3733.49,"endTime":3737.63,"body":"from being trans. Because there"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3733.49,"endTime":3737.63,"body":"are certain joys that we have"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3737.66,"endTime":3744.41,"body":"that since people don't get to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3737.66,"endTime":3744.41,"body":"experience, that joy of finding"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3744.41,"endTime":3748.94,"body":"yourself in your own skin for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3744.41,"endTime":3748.94,"body":"the first time. And the longing"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3748.97,"endTime":3751.85,"body":"naturally to the groups that you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3748.97,"endTime":3751.85,"body":"might have felt excluded from"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3751.85,"endTime":3756.2,"body":"earlier in your life. There are"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3751.85,"endTime":3756.2,"body":"some very specific instances of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3756.2,"endTime":3760.37,"body":"joy that are specifically in the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3756.2,"endTime":3760.37,"body":"trans experience. I think it's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3760.37,"endTime":3764.06,"body":"important to recognize those."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3760.37,"endTime":3764.06,"body":"It's also important to recognize"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3764.06,"endTime":3768.5,"body":"how it just brings joy"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3764.06,"endTime":3768.5,"body":"everywhere else, like you were"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3768.5,"endTime":3769.01,"body":"saying."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3770.78,"endTime":3772.64,"body":"Yeah, there are very"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3770.78,"endTime":3772.64,"body":"specific things."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3773.3,"endTime":3776.21,"body":"Yeah. I mean, I just look"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3773.3,"endTime":3776.21,"body":"at it for me and like in very"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3776.21,"endTime":3779.39,"body":"broad strokes, right? Like, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3776.21,"endTime":3779.39,"body":"mean, I'm the one who like I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3779.39,"endTime":3783.44,"body":"will always refer to myself as a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3779.39,"endTime":3783.44,"body":"transgender woman, like or two"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3783.44,"endTime":3790.1,"body":"spirit. That's who I am. i And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3783.44,"endTime":3790.1,"body":"it's part of who I am. So you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3790.1,"endTime":3794.03,"body":"know, I make that delineation,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3790.1,"endTime":3794.03,"body":"some don't like with joy. It's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3794.03,"endTime":3797.3,"body":"just like, you know that the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3794.03,"endTime":3797.3,"body":"challenges whatever it is, like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3797.57,"endTime":3798.68,"body":"I don't know, I just considering"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3798.89,"endTime":3806.33,"body":"Yeah. This reminded me"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3798.89,"endTime":3806.33,"body":"of something a friend told me a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3806.33,"endTime":3810.98,"body":"long time ago. I don't live the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3806.33,"endTime":3810.98,"body":"gay lifestyle. I just live my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3810.98,"endTime":3814.88,"body":"life. It's not a gay lifestyle."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3810.98,"endTime":3814.88,"body":"It's just my lifestyle. You"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3814.88,"endTime":3817.37,"body":"wouldn't go to a dog and say,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3814.88,"endTime":3817.37,"body":"well, that dog lives a dog's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3817.37,"endTime":3821.03,"body":"lifestyle. You'd say that dogs"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3817.37,"endTime":3821.03,"body":"living its life. And think"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3821.03,"endTime":3825.38,"body":"that's kind of the same point"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3821.03,"endTime":3825.38,"body":"of, you know, I'm not living the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3825.38,"endTime":3827.93,"body":"trans lifestyle. I'm not not"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3825.38,"endTime":3827.93,"body":"everything is transitory. It's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3827.93,"endTime":3828.74,"body":"just It's me."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3829.43,"endTime":3833.51,"body":"It's very true. It's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3829.43,"endTime":3833.51,"body":"very true. Wow, holy shit we've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3833.51,"endTime":3837.23,"body":"been recording for almost for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3837.71,"endTime":3839.6,"body":"you got plenty. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3839.63,"endTime":3841.7,"body":"Why do you think I had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3839.63,"endTime":3841.7,"body":"to run to the bathroom? Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3841.7,"endTime":3843.71,"body":"ran long and I didn't schedule"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3841.7,"endTime":3843.71,"body":"that."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3843.83,"endTime":3849.05,"body":"Exactly. Sorry, not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3843.83,"endTime":3849.05,"body":"sorry. So we actually cover most"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3849.05,"endTime":3851.72,"body":"of what I wanted to cover."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3849.05,"endTime":3851.72,"body":"Another one that I was I had on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3851.72,"endTime":3853.79,"body":"here is bottom surgery, but"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3851.72,"endTime":3853.79,"body":"honestly, I think that should"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3853.79,"endTime":3860.21,"body":"wait for part two, because my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3853.79,"endTime":3860.21,"body":"electrolysis tech actually wants"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3860.21,"endTime":3864.68,"body":"to be a guest for that. About"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3860.21,"endTime":3864.68,"body":"that. So she does both. She's a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3864.68,"endTime":3868.4,"body":"trans woman owns a trans own"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3864.68,"endTime":3868.4,"body":"electrolysis clinic, which again"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3868.43,"endTime":3869.21,"body":"in Ohio"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3870.68,"endTime":3873.71,"body":"so you can find good"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3870.68,"endTime":3873.71,"body":"people everywhere. Yeah. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3873.71,"endTime":3874.58,"body":"maybe in Florida."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3876.47,"endTime":3878.9,"body":"We don't talk about"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3876.47,"endTime":3878.9,"body":"Florida the limp dick of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3878.9,"endTime":3879.5,"body":"America."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3881.78,"endTime":3883.82,"body":"That's offensive to limp"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":3881.78,"endTime":3883.82,"body":"dicks!"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3883.94,"endTime":3888.11,"body":"True true, the Trump"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3883.94,"endTime":3888.11,"body":"Dick of America that it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3888.11,"endTime":3895.76,"body":"fantastic. If they look at it,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3888.11,"endTime":3895.76,"body":"it looks like you have this"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3896.78,"endTime":3902.57,"body":"country it looks like a limp"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3896.78,"endTime":3902.57,"body":"deck. Yeah, yeah, that in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3902.57,"endTime":3905.33,"body":"capital is known as the cotton"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3902.57,"endTime":3905.33,"body":"balls capital because it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3905.36,"endTime":3909.11,"body":"there's like a spider in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3905.36,"endTime":3909.11,"body":"middle into like domes it looks"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3909.11,"endTime":3914.39,"body":"like a cock and balls. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3909.11,"endTime":3914.39,"body":"dated a girl from there. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3914.42,"endTime":3916.79,"body":"that's what she called it was"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3914.42,"endTime":3916.79,"body":"the cock'n'balls capital. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3917.84,"endTime":3919.55,"body":"it's so fitting. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3921.2,"endTime":3925.94,"body":"I forget where I was Oh"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3921.2,"endTime":3925.94,"body":"yeah, so she also does laser. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3925.94,"endTime":3930.53,"body":"I'm thinking that having her on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3925.94,"endTime":3930.53,"body":"part two of this would be good"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3930.53,"endTime":3933.59,"body":"to kind of go in with the bottom"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3930.53,"endTime":3933.59,"body":"surgery because for almost all"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3933.59,"endTime":3938.33,"body":"surgeons you have to have hair"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3933.59,"endTime":3938.33,"body":"removal to get bottom surgery. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3938.33,"endTime":3944.12,"body":"have been going through that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3938.33,"endTime":3944.12,"body":"both laser and electrolysis it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3944.12,"endTime":3948.53,"body":"fucking sucks. There's nothing"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3944.12,"endTime":3948.53,"body":"they'll wake you up in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3948.53,"endTime":3952.64,"body":"morning like a laser going down"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3948.53,"endTime":3952.64,"body":"across your premium and anus or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3953.48,"endTime":3957.98,"body":"or electrified hot needle going"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3953.48,"endTime":3957.98,"body":"right into the middle of your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3957.98,"endTime":3966.41,"body":"scrotum. In hon. Yeah, so. But"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3957.98,"endTime":3966.41,"body":"that's an important thing. Hair"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3966.41,"endTime":3969.38,"body":"Removal is an absolutely vital"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3966.41,"endTime":3969.38,"body":"part of that. And then a lot of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3969.38,"endTime":3971.99,"body":"us also choose to get it done on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3969.38,"endTime":3971.99,"body":"our faces in the setting the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3971.99,"endTime":3975.47,"body":"other so I'm guessing you used"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3971.99,"endTime":3975.47,"body":"to have a full beard."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3976.97,"endTime":3979.55,"body":"Yeah, I mean, it was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3976.97,"endTime":3979.55,"body":"probably sporting more of a Tony"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3979.55,"endTime":3980.96,"body":"Stark book. But yeah, okay."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3981.17,"endTime":3984.8,"body":"I tried doing that when"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3981.17,"endTime":3984.8,"body":"I got married. And I'll have to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3984.8,"endTime":3987.98,"body":"try to find that picture. It was"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3984.8,"endTime":3987.98,"body":"bad. But I'm not married"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3987.98,"endTime":3992.57,"body":"anymore. So that can be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3987.98,"endTime":3992.57,"body":"forgotten about but I then I had"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3992.57,"endTime":3993.68,"body":"a full beard. So"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3994.97,"endTime":3996.77,"body":"when you were talking"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3994.97,"endTime":3996.77,"body":"about electrolysis in the hair"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3996.77,"endTime":3999.65,"body":"removal. I mean, that could be"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3996.77,"endTime":3999.65,"body":"an episode almost in itself."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3999.65,"endTime":4003.61,"body":"Because I mean, yeah. So much to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":3999.65,"endTime":4003.61,"body":"learn you to know, like, Kaiser"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4003.61,"endTime":4007.54,"body":"was forcing me into laser. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4003.61,"endTime":4007.54,"body":"I'm just way too damn dark dark"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4007.54,"endTime":4013.09,"body":"skin. Yeah. So I had to fight to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4007.54,"endTime":4013.09,"body":"get electrolysis, you know, but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4013.09,"endTime":4014.74,"body":"I think it's like that's an"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4013.09,"endTime":4014.74,"body":"important thing and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4014.74,"endTime":4016.75,"body":"differentiation. People need to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4014.74,"endTime":4016.75,"body":"know that stuff."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4017.11,"endTime":4021.43,"body":"Yeah. And like for you,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4017.11,"endTime":4021.43,"body":"Kaiser covers it in Ohio. While"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4021.43,"endTime":4024.22,"body":"I do have insurance that will"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4021.43,"endTime":4024.22,"body":"cover my surgery, they do not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4024.22,"endTime":4027.28,"body":"cover any hair removal, which is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4024.22,"endTime":4027.28,"body":"required for the surgery."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4027.61,"endTime":4029.95,"body":"So I think that's kind"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4027.61,"endTime":4029.95,"body":"of weird. It's like, hey, we'll"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4029.95,"endTime":4032.44,"body":"cover the surgery, but we won't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4029.95,"endTime":4032.44,"body":"cover the procedures that you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4032.44,"endTime":4033.43,"body":"need for the surgery."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4033.49,"endTime":4035.8,"body":"Exactly. So but"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4036.43,"endTime":4042.19,"body":"$11,000 for my facial"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4036.43,"endTime":4042.19,"body":"hair. I paid before I got Kaiser"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4042.55,"endTime":4044.92,"body":"I probably paid like four or"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4042.55,"endTime":4044.92,"body":"5000 out my pocket."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4045.97,"endTime":4049.0,"body":"It's It's brutal. But"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4045.97,"endTime":4049.0,"body":"oh man, electrolysis sending"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4049.0,"endTime":4052.75,"body":"your entire face. It's more than"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4049.0,"endTime":4052.75,"body":"I made last year. Yeah, same"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4052.78,"endTime":4055.42,"body":"same. My incomes like 12,000 a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4052.78,"endTime":4055.42,"body":"year right now."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4055.84,"endTime":4058.27,"body":"But I mean, I gotta tell"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4055.84,"endTime":4058.27,"body":"you like my skin. y'all. Y'all"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4058.27,"endTime":4059.74,"body":"can't feel but it's amazing."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4060.46,"endTime":4062.62,"body":"Mine's getting pretty"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4060.46,"endTime":4062.62,"body":"good. I've had like nine lasers."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4062.8,"endTime":4064.24,"body":"Let me reach through the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4062.8,"endTime":4064.24,"body":"camera."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4064.27,"endTime":4067.36,"body":"Yeah. Can we just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4064.27,"endTime":4067.36,"body":"stroke? Yeah, yes. Lovely"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4069.38,"endTime":4074.81,"body":"Oh my God. You're so"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4069.38,"endTime":4074.81,"body":"smooth. It's amazing."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4075.05,"endTime":4082.61,"body":"It's amazing. Now we're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4075.05,"endTime":4082.61,"body":"getting to the awkward phase of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4082.61,"endTime":4084.89,"body":"the podcast. When we look at"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4082.61,"endTime":4084.89,"body":"mine."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4084.92,"endTime":4087.77,"body":"I haven't shaved yet"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4084.92,"endTime":4087.77,"body":"today. It's a little prickly."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4088.43,"endTime":4090.38,"body":"I don't see anything."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4088.43,"endTime":4090.38,"body":"Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4090.38,"endTime":4091.04,"body":"hard to see."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4092.09,"endTime":4095.27,"body":"You see You got lucky"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4092.09,"endTime":4095.27,"body":"on that part. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4095.48,"endTime":4097.76,"body":"lucky on a lot of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4095.48,"endTime":4097.76,"body":"things. Yeah, we could talk"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4097.76,"endTime":4101.12,"body":"about the things that we lost"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4097.76,"endTime":4101.12,"body":"from transition. And then I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4101.12,"endTime":4102.11,"body":"won't be so lucky."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4105.2,"endTime":4109.61,"body":"That kids depressing."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4105.2,"endTime":4109.61,"body":"Do you want to do a quick little"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4109.61,"endTime":4110.27,"body":"thing and what we"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4113.06,"endTime":4115.43,"body":"see I lost the job that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4113.06,"endTime":4115.43,"body":"I had at the time I lost my"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4115.43,"endTime":4118.13,"body":"housing that I had it my time I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4115.43,"endTime":4118.13,"body":"lost most of my relationship"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4118.13,"endTime":4121.82,"body":"with most of my family. My"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4118.13,"endTime":4121.82,"body":"sister stopped talking to me for"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4121.82,"endTime":4125.0,"body":"a long time my brother still"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4121.82,"endTime":4125.0,"body":"doesn't return my calls. Mom and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4125.0,"endTime":4127.76,"body":"Dad are getting to the point"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4125.0,"endTime":4127.76,"body":"where they'll talk to me and we"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4127.76,"endTime":4131.99,"body":"can hang out okay. I lost all of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4127.76,"endTime":4131.99,"body":"my friends except for three."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4133.91,"endTime":4137.36,"body":"Let's see what else did I lose?"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4133.91,"endTime":4137.36,"body":"I didn't lose my car. I kept"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4137.36,"endTime":4142.04,"body":"that I had to move to an I had"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4137.36,"endTime":4142.04,"body":"to move to a new town and every"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4142.19,"endTime":4146.12,"body":"people fucking suck. Well,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4142.19,"endTime":4146.12,"body":"they're all religions. So yeah."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4147.23,"endTime":4148.79,"body":"Yeah, I kind of expected that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4148.819,"endTime":4152.599,"body":"religious people in my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4148.819,"endTime":4152.599,"body":"family too. So yeah, I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4152.599,"endTime":4157.339,"body":"lost probably 10,000 pounds of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4152.599,"endTime":4157.339,"body":"family members of my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4158.99,"endTime":4162.86,"body":"family. For those"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4158.99,"endTime":4162.86,"body":"listening family. Blood does not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4162.86,"endTime":4167.15,"body":"make family family is who you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4162.86,"endTime":4167.15,"body":"make it. In. Always remember"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4167.15,"endTime":4170.21,"body":"that if your family is treating"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4167.15,"endTime":4170.21,"body":"you like shit and disowning you,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4170.78,"endTime":4174.53,"body":"that's not family. They can come"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4170.78,"endTime":4174.53,"body":"around eventually, but you don't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4174.53,"endTime":4180.02,"body":"owe them in the thing at all."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4174.53,"endTime":4180.02,"body":"Just burn that into your mind"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4180.02,"endTime":4183.08,"body":"because you're gonna have a lot"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4180.02,"endTime":4183.08,"body":"of hate. And it's hard enough"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4183.08,"endTime":4185.57,"body":"trying to fight that gift to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4183.08,"endTime":4185.57,"body":"build your own family. That's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4186.65,"endTime":4192.47,"body":"the social media connections."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4186.65,"endTime":4192.47,"body":"Like just people I've met here"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4192.47,"endTime":4198.23,"body":"during the show. It's this is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4192.47,"endTime":4198.23,"body":"family now this is my family. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4198.23,"endTime":4200.6,"body":"that's what you need to find"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4198.23,"endTime":4200.6,"body":"because you are going to lose a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4200.6,"endTime":4205.49,"body":"lot when you come out as much as"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4200.6,"endTime":4205.49,"body":"you said, there's the job stuff"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4205.49,"endTime":4210.29,"body":"like, I own my own real estate"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4205.49,"endTime":4210.29,"body":"photography company, when I came"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4210.29,"endTime":4215.6,"body":"out my business instantly died"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4210.29,"endTime":4215.6,"body":"like it was. It went from, you"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4215.6,"endTime":4218.93,"body":"know, making maybe three or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4215.6,"endTime":4218.93,"body":"$4,000 a month to, I had to rely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4218.93,"endTime":4223.64,"body":"on a GoFundMe in order to just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4218.93,"endTime":4223.64,"body":"buy food the following month, so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4224.09,"endTime":4227.06,"body":"I've started kind of rebuilding"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4224.09,"endTime":4227.06,"body":"that a little bit. But real,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4227.06,"endTime":4229.49,"body":"there's 10 years, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4227.06,"endTime":4229.49,"body":"bigger the realtors around me."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4229.52,"endTime":4236.36,"body":"So it's get, you're gonna lose a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4229.52,"endTime":4236.36,"body":"lot. But in my opinion, and this"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4236.36,"endTime":4240.59,"body":"is just my opinion, it's all"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4236.36,"endTime":4240.59,"body":"worth it. And I would not, if"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4240.59,"endTime":4244.31,"body":"given the opportunity to do it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4240.59,"endTime":4244.31,"body":"again, the only thing I would"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4244.31,"endTime":4245.87,"body":"have done differently is I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4244.31,"endTime":4245.87,"body":"probably would have done it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4245.87,"endTime":4247.04,"body":"sooner. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4248.06,"endTime":4253.46,"body":"I mean, I wish I would"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4248.06,"endTime":4253.46,"body":"have done it 10 years ago. So I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4253.46,"endTime":4256.31,"body":"have the option to do it 10"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4253.46,"endTime":4256.31,"body":"years ago, and I chose not to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4256.31,"endTime":4263.72,"body":"because I was like, at that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4256.31,"endTime":4263.72,"body":"point in my life, I believed in"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4263.72,"endTime":4268.76,"body":"what I had been taught as a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4263.72,"endTime":4268.76,"body":"child too much to be able to"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4268.97,"endTime":4273.5,"body":"make any decision to move"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4268.97,"endTime":4273.5,"body":"forward with this. And I just"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4273.5,"endTime":4276.29,"body":"put it put it in a compartment"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4273.5,"endTime":4276.29,"body":"of my mind and didn't touch it"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4276.29,"endTime":4279.5,"body":"for 10 years. It's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4276.29,"endTime":4279.5,"body":"heartbreaking. And you spent"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4279.5,"endTime":4282.89,"body":"those 10 years depressed. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4279.5,"endTime":4282.89,"body":"And you hear that story so many"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4282.89,"endTime":4285.8,"body":"times. It's like missing chunks"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4282.89,"endTime":4285.8,"body":"of your life."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4285.83,"endTime":4286.58,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4286.97,"endTime":4289.7,"body":"there's like a six year period"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4286.97,"endTime":4289.7,"body":"of my life that I have, like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4289.7,"endTime":4292.04,"body":"almost no memories from because"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4289.7,"endTime":4292.04,"body":"I was just so depressed."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":4295.07,"endTime":4296.24,"body":"Positive."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":4295.07,"endTime":4296.24,"body":"So that's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4296.24,"endTime":4298.94,"body":"another thing that I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4296.24,"endTime":4298.94,"body":"lost from transitioning once I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4298.94,"endTime":4303.41,"body":"lost my depression. Not"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4298.94,"endTime":4303.41,"body":"everybody does that. But I sure"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4303.41,"endTime":4305.24,"body":"did. That's good."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4306.29,"endTime":4311.84,"body":"So my positive story is,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4306.29,"endTime":4311.84,"body":"so I've got a brother. And we"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4311.84,"endTime":4314.96,"body":"don't agree on anything."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4311.84,"endTime":4314.96,"body":"Politics completely different. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4314.96,"endTime":4318.32,"body":"mean, I'm so far left, I'm a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4314.96,"endTime":4318.32,"body":"French liberal in the 19th"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4318.32,"endTime":4322.82,"body":"century. He so far right is a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4318.32,"endTime":4322.82,"body":"Trump supporting like 40 guns,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4322.82,"endTime":4326.42,"body":"like kids can get in guns when"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4322.82,"endTime":4326.42,"body":"they're 14, that kind of thing."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4327.5,"endTime":4331.28,"body":"And I didn't come out to him."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4327.5,"endTime":4331.28,"body":"But he found me inside, kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4331.28,"endTime":4335.81,"body":"cyber detected me. It went to my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4331.28,"endTime":4335.81,"body":"mom was like, you know, I think"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4335.81,"endTime":4340.13,"body":"so. And so I'm not going to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4335.81,"endTime":4340.13,"body":"detonate myself. It's trenches"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4340.16,"endTime":4343.94,"body":"transitioning to a woman. And my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4340.16,"endTime":4343.94,"body":"mom wouldn't say anything."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4344.12,"endTime":4348.8,"body":"Because like, my mom also kind"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4344.12,"endTime":4348.8,"body":"of left of center. And finally I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4348.8,"endTime":4351.77,"body":"just like, came out to him. And"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4348.8,"endTime":4351.77,"body":"he's like, Listen, I'm just"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4351.77,"endTime":4354.65,"body":"happy for you that you're"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4351.77,"endTime":4354.65,"body":"finally happy. And I was like,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4355.01,"endTime":4357.41,"body":"that was probably the most"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4355.01,"endTime":4357.41,"body":"surprising thing that happened"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4358.31,"endTime":4361.01,"body":"out of this whole thing was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4358.31,"endTime":4361.01,"body":"like, somebody who I thought for"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4361.01,"endTime":4364.76,"body":"sure, would literally be like, I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4361.01,"endTime":4364.76,"body":"never want to talk to you,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4364.76,"endTime":4367.49,"body":"again, is like, hey, when you're"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4364.76,"endTime":4367.49,"body":"coming back here, so we can go"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4367.49,"endTime":4372.08,"body":"grab dinner. Like that kind of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4367.49,"endTime":4372.08,"body":"thing. I mean, that was really"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4372.08,"endTime":4374.96,"body":"inspiring. I've got a few of my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4372.08,"endTime":4374.96,"body":"first cousins that follow me on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4374.96,"endTime":4378.14,"body":"social media, we engage and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4374.96,"endTime":4378.14,"body":"we'll get together when we meet"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4378.14,"endTime":4382.55,"body":"up and my aunt amount to one of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4378.14,"endTime":4382.55,"body":"my aunts. And, you know, my"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4382.55,"endTime":4386.12,"body":"daughter, of course, you know,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4382.55,"endTime":4386.12,"body":"she's in Florida right now. But,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4386.6,"endTime":4389.18,"body":"you know, came out to her when"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4386.6,"endTime":4389.18,"body":"she was 18 before she joined the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4389.18,"endTime":4393.17,"body":"Navy. And, you know, she was"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4389.18,"endTime":4393.17,"body":"very accepting. And you my mom"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4393.2,"endTime":4395.24,"body":"took me five times to come out"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4393.2,"endTime":4395.24,"body":"to her because she wasn't quite"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4395.24,"endTime":4399.11,"body":"getting the concept. You know,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4395.24,"endTime":4399.11,"body":"but like, I've as much as I've"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4399.11,"endTime":4402.68,"body":"cut away, I've maintained stuff"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4399.11,"endTime":4402.68,"body":"my niece's, like fairly good"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4402.68,"endTime":4406.28,"body":"relationships with, with both of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4402.68,"endTime":4406.28,"body":"them, one of them works for a"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4406.28,"endTime":4408.8,"body":"company in the benefits"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4406.28,"endTime":4408.8,"body":"department, and was in charge of"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4408.8,"endTime":4412.79,"body":"doing trans benefits for their"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4408.8,"endTime":4412.79,"body":"employees. So like, she learned"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4412.79,"endTime":4415.79,"body":"a ton. So we've been like, we"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4412.79,"endTime":4415.79,"body":"were talking back and forth, and"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4416.15,"endTime":4418.55,"body":"I was sharing some things that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4416.15,"endTime":4418.55,"body":"she's sharing some things so"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4418.55,"endTime":4422.48,"body":"it's like, I cut off a whole"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4418.55,"endTime":4422.48,"body":"bunch of dead weight. And I feel"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4422.48,"endTime":4425.36,"body":"like the relationships that"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4422.48,"endTime":4425.36,"body":"remain were even stronger."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4426.05,"endTime":4429.44,"body":"Yeah, I agree with that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4426.05,"endTime":4429.44,"body":"too. Same very well. So the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4429.44,"endTime":4432.77,"body":"relationships that I've made"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4429.44,"endTime":4432.77,"body":"since then have been stronger"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4432.77,"endTime":4435.05,"body":"than any of the relationships"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4432.77,"endTime":4435.05,"body":"that I've made in like the last"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4435.05,"endTime":4435.56,"body":"10 years."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4435.59,"endTime":4440.69,"body":"Yes, yes. I agree. The"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4435.59,"endTime":4440.69,"body":"only relationship that I've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4440.69,"endTime":4443.48,"body":"really maintained from my past"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4440.69,"endTime":4443.48,"body":"is my best friend Christopher."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4443.51,"endTime":4449.45,"body":"So hi, Christopher if you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4443.51,"endTime":4449.45,"body":"listening to this and but like I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4449.45,"endTime":4451.82,"body":"had already cut out all my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4449.45,"endTime":4451.82,"body":"family before I came out for the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4451.82,"endTime":4454.94,"body":"most part so I have one person"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4451.82,"endTime":4454.94,"body":"that's very supportive of me Hi"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4454.94,"endTime":4457.79,"body":"Ryan. If he wasn't this he's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4454.94,"endTime":4457.79,"body":"amazing writing his wife Kelly."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4457.97,"endTime":4459.29,"body":"You are gonna I guess"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4459.35,"endTime":4462.47,"body":"my find out who your"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4459.35,"endTime":4462.47,"body":"friends are. You know your"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4462.47,"endTime":4466.01,"body":"allies are you definitely will"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4462.47,"endTime":4466.01,"body":"it's kind of another reason that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4466.01,"endTime":4469.37,"body":"I wish I would have done it so"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4466.01,"endTime":4469.37,"body":"long ago because I mean all the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4469.37,"endTime":4471.98,"body":"people that I ended up cutting"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4469.37,"endTime":4471.98,"body":"out of my life having that"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4471.98,"endTime":4474.23,"body":"toxicity gone has made my life a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4471.98,"endTime":4474.23,"body":"lot better"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4474.5,"endTime":4478.22,"body":"and no shit no shit."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4474.5,"endTime":4478.22,"body":"It's It's liberating"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4478.55,"endTime":4480.83,"body":"and they self select"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4478.55,"endTime":4480.83,"body":"when you're trans"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4486.35,"endTime":4487.52,"body":"they pretty much to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4489.71,"endTime":4494.15,"body":"it so any we're gonna"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4489.71,"endTime":4494.15,"body":"have to wrap this up now but the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4494.15,"endTime":4497.39,"body":"either of you have any closing"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4494.15,"endTime":4497.39,"body":"thoughts or plugs or anything"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4497.39,"endTime":4499.52,"body":"that you would like to say"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4499.52,"endTime":4503.771,"body":"um Okay, um, yeah, check"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4499.52,"endTime":4503.771,"body":"out my podcast TransSpotting. We"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4503.846,"endTime":4508.47,"body":"talk about issues like this in a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4503.846,"endTime":4508.47,"body":"humorous way. I'm not sure if"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4508.545,"endTime":4513.17,"body":"we're a humor podcast full of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4508.545,"endTime":4513.17,"body":"heart or a heart podcast full of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4513.244,"endTime":4515.93,"body":"humor, or what we're one of the two."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4517.039,"endTime":4519.649,"body":"And a bit of both. A"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4517.039,"endTime":4519.649,"body":"bit of both."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4522.5,"endTime":4525.308,"body":"Yes, thank you. And you"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4522.5,"endTime":4525.308,"body":"can find me at Instagram at"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4525.363,"endTime":4528.611,"body":"Oh_no_Marcia, and my link trees"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4525.363,"endTime":4528.611,"body":"there. I'm really active on"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4528.666,"endTime":4531.86,"body":"Mastodon, but I don't use"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4528.666,"endTime":4531.86,"body":"Twitter. In fact, what I think I"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4531.915,"endTime":4535.108,"body":"think everybody should be"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4531.915,"endTime":4535.108,"body":"boycotting Twitter at this point"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4535.163,"endTime":4536.54,"body":"is the fascist mouthpiece"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4536.9,"endTime":4541.502,"body":"owned by a notorious"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4536.9,"endTime":4541.502,"body":"transphobe with the has a trans"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4541.59,"endTime":4542.21,"body":"kid. So"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4542.24,"endTime":4545.18,"body":"even Did you see what he"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4542.24,"endTime":4545.18,"body":"did with the turkey thing and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4545.18,"endTime":4551.69,"body":"Ender kins election? Because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4545.18,"endTime":4551.69,"body":"Turkey asked him to stifle all"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4551.69,"endTime":4557.42,"body":"opposition tweets, like 24 or 48"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4551.69,"endTime":4557.42,"body":"hours before the election. And"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4557.42,"endTime":4560.51,"body":"so he did, because he his"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4557.42,"endTime":4560.51,"body":"reasoning was, well, we'd rather"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4560.51,"endTime":4563.96,"body":"not host not have Twitter there,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4560.51,"endTime":4563.96,"body":"because that's the other option."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4564.56,"endTime":4568.19,"body":"And so he got paid like a bunch"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4564.56,"endTime":4568.19,"body":"of money to silence the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4568.19,"endTime":4571.13,"body":"political party of the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4568.19,"endTime":4571.13,"body":"establishment. And then the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4571.13,"endTime":4575.12,"body":"establishment is also one of the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4571.13,"endTime":4575.12,"body":"most corrupt and fascist nations"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4575.12,"endTime":4581.18,"body":"over on that side. And I think"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4575.12,"endTime":4581.18,"body":"last I heard, they had won the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4581.18,"endTime":4587.09,"body":"election by this narrowest of"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4581.18,"endTime":4587.09,"body":"margins. So just shutting down"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4587.09,"endTime":4590.33,"body":"the public forum for all the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4587.09,"endTime":4590.33,"body":"opposition might have been a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4590.33,"endTime":4594.26,"body":"little bit of added to the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4590.33,"endTime":4594.26,"body":"fascist staying in power. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4594.26,"endTime":4595.19,"body":"not gonna support that."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4595.22,"endTime":4598.64,"body":"No, that is fallen Bond"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4595.22,"endTime":4598.64,"body":"villain, pure Bond villain, like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4598.64,"endTime":4599.18,"body":"that's your Bond"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4599.18,"endTime":4601.97,"body":"villain. Who's worse"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4599.18,"endTime":4601.97,"body":"than a Bond villain? Because"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4601.97,"endTime":4606.71,"body":"it's Yeah, exactly. I don't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4601.97,"endTime":4606.71,"body":"understand how there's not a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4606.71,"endTime":4608.06,"body":"huge stink about that."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4608.3,"endTime":4610.43,"body":"I didn't even know"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4608.3,"endTime":4610.43,"body":"about it. That's probably why"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4610.43,"endTime":4613.64,"body":"there's not a huge stink about"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4610.43,"endTime":4613.64,"body":"it, because there's potentially"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4614.09,"endTime":4617.15,"body":"nobody was worried about"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4614.09,"endTime":4617.15,"body":"the whole DeSantis launch or"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4617.15,"endTime":4620.9,"body":"failure to launch on Twitter."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4617.15,"endTime":4620.9,"body":"That took up some some some"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4620.9,"endTime":4621.32,"body":"airplane"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4621.68,"endTime":4625.07,"body":"bandwidth. Yeah, I don't"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4621.68,"endTime":4625.07,"body":"know. Like, that's interesting."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4625.07,"endTime":4630.08,"body":"But walking off a whole"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4625.07,"endTime":4630.08,"body":"political party from your"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4630.65,"endTime":4632.75,"body":"platform because you accepted a"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4630.65,"endTime":4632.75,"body":"bribe."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4633.02,"endTime":4635.87,"body":"Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4633.02,"endTime":4635.87,"body":"terrifying. Yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4635.87,"endTime":4636.56,"body":"terrifying."},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4636.62,"endTime":4639.44,"body":"Not the first time it's"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4636.62,"endTime":4639.44,"body":"been done either. No, just this"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4639.44,"endTime":4643.58,"body":"might have been the most"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4639.44,"endTime":4643.58,"body":"political the most disastrous,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4643.64,"endTime":4646.28,"body":"because this was going to be the"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4643.64,"endTime":4646.28,"body":"election that they finally got"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4646.28,"endTime":4648.95,"body":"the fascists out. And it looks"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4646.28,"endTime":4648.95,"body":"like that's not going to happen."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4650.66,"endTime":4653.87,"body":"You can't interfere with"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4650.66,"endTime":4653.87,"body":"state affairs like that. You're"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4653.87,"endTime":4655.52,"body":"no better than a Russian troll"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4653.87,"endTime":4655.52,"body":"farm."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4655.91,"endTime":4657.05,"body":"No, no."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4657.35,"endTime":4661.76,"body":"All right, so I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4657.35,"endTime":4661.76,"body":"close out my piece. So thank you"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4661.76,"endTime":4667.94,"body":"all for listening. Can't wait to"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4661.76,"endTime":4667.94,"body":"do my next one. PRI trans March,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4667.94,"endTime":4671.21,"body":"I think is the 23rd of June. I"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4667.94,"endTime":4671.21,"body":"think it's a Friday."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4673.88,"endTime":4676.52,"body":"That's my birthday."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4673.88,"endTime":4676.52,"body":"Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4676.64,"endTime":4683.09,"body":"I'll be marching. That's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4676.64,"endTime":4683.09,"body":"a Friday, right? Friday. So if"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4683.09,"endTime":4685.67,"body":"you're in the Bay Area, it's"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4683.09,"endTime":4685.67,"body":"Friday. Look me up, always down"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4685.67,"endTime":4688.76,"body":"for a coffee. If you're in San"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4685.67,"endTime":4688.76,"body":"Francisco on the 23rd. I'll be"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4688.76,"endTime":4691.55,"body":"marching and volunteering on the"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4688.76,"endTime":4691.55,"body":"trans March. You can find me on"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4691.55,"endTime":4695.12,"body":"Instagram at Taryn Talley one or"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4691.55,"endTime":4695.12,"body":"LinkedIn. I think it's Terrence"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4695.12,"endTime":4698.3,"body":"Howard one there too. I don't"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4695.12,"endTime":4698.3,"body":"know. I'm number one. Who knows?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4698.42,"endTime":4703.64,"body":"She seems to find so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4698.42,"endTime":4703.64,"body":"she's easy enough to fine. If"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4703.64,"endTime":4705.62,"body":"you just take Taryn tally, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4703.64,"endTime":4705.62,"body":"don't think there's a ton of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4705.62,"endTime":4706.7,"body":"Terran tallies out there."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4707.84,"endTime":4710.3,"body":"But Taryn, Tally one if"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4707.84,"endTime":4710.3,"body":"you're unsure there, yeah."},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4710.57,"endTime":4713.18,"body":"Because she's number one. Number"},{"speaker":"Taryn","startTime":4710.57,"endTime":4713.18,"body":"one friendly neighborhood"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4713.18,"endTime":4719.03,"body":"transmits exactly the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4713.18,"endTime":4719.03,"body":"transmit this. Love it much fun."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4720.95,"endTime":4724.22,"body":"And I can be found pretty much"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4720.95,"endTime":4724.22,"body":"anywhere as either Vanessa Joy"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4724.25,"endTime":4728.21,"body":"or event Australia. Except"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4724.25,"endTime":4728.21,"body":"Twitter. Definitely not going to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4728.21,"endTime":4730.85,"body":"be on that I need to check out"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4728.21,"endTime":4730.85,"body":"Mastodon I haven't even really"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4730.85,"endTime":4736.13,"body":"heard of that. So take a peek at"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4730.85,"endTime":4736.13,"body":"that. But I'm most active on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4736.58,"endTime":4739.37,"body":"Instagram. And unfortunately,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4736.58,"endTime":4739.37,"body":"Facebook. But that's mainly just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4739.37,"endTime":4742.31,"body":"because that's where I get my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4739.37,"endTime":4742.31,"body":"business. And LinkedIn. LinkedIn"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4742.31,"endTime":4744.71,"body":"is the best though I'm starting"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4742.31,"endTime":4744.71,"body":"to get a little frustrated with"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4744.71,"endTime":4747.59,"body":"their algorithms too. And there."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4744.71,"endTime":4747.59,"body":"That's whole other"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4747.59,"endTime":4752.87,"body":"conversations. But again, please"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4747.59,"endTime":4752.87,"body":"rate our podcast, tell your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4752.87,"endTime":4756.32,"body":"friends we need to grow. We have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4752.87,"endTime":4756.32,"body":"big plans for the future. We"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4756.32,"endTime":4759.86,"body":"want this to become not just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4756.32,"endTime":4759.86,"body":"transcending humanity, the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4759.86,"endTime":4763.43,"body":"podcast. We want it to be"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4759.86,"endTime":4763.43,"body":"transcending humanity. We want"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4763.43,"endTime":4767.15,"body":"to be a hub for people to go to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4763.43,"endTime":4767.15,"body":"for hope for news for financial"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4767.15,"endTime":4773.03,"body":"help, for advice, all that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4767.15,"endTime":4773.03,"body":"stuff. We want to be one stop"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4773.03,"endTime":4778.85,"body":"shop for everybody. But we need"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4773.03,"endTime":4778.85,"body":"growth to do that first. So help"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4778.85,"endTime":4782.12,"body":"us grow. Tell your friends."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4778.85,"endTime":4782.12,"body":"Thank you so much for joining"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4782.12,"endTime":4786.08,"body":"us. This has been an honor next"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4782.12,"endTime":4786.08,"body":"week is going to be Erica's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4786.44,"endTime":4792.08,"body":"Second Chance Joy episode. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4786.44,"endTime":4792.08,"body":"look forward to seeing everyone"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4792.08,"endTime":4795.47,"body":"then have a great day night."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4792.08,"endTime":4795.47,"body":"Whatever it is that you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4795.47,"endTime":4799.67,"body":"watching this and if you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4795.47,"endTime":4799.67,"body":"driving, buckle your seatbelt or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4799.67,"endTime":4804.02,"body":"something No Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4804.049,"endTime":4805.699,"body":"we need to work on your"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4804.049,"endTime":4805.699,"body":"sign out."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4805.91,"endTime":4808.4,"body":"Yeah, I'm not good at"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4805.91,"endTime":4808.4,"body":"that. Your seat belt or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4808.4,"endTime":4813.14,"body":"something or something. So, and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4808.4,"endTime":4813.14,"body":"then after this, it's actually"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4813.2,"endTime":4816.29,"body":"I'll slowly start rebuilding up"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4813.2,"endTime":4816.29,"body":"the music. Buckle your seat"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4816.29,"endTime":4818.75,"body":"belts, we're heading your seat"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4816.29,"endTime":4818.75,"body":"belts, you're getting the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4818.75,"endTime":4821.33,"body":"closing music, which is the same"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4818.75,"endTime":4821.33,"body":"as the intro music which is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4821.33,"endTime":4823.82,"body":"nowhere as good as the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4821.33,"endTime":4823.82,"body":"transporting music. That's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4823.82,"endTime":4826.7,"body":"another thing. The fucking song"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4823.82,"endTime":4826.7,"body":"on that you need to listen to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4826.7,"endTime":4828.53,"body":"it. It's so good. I just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4826.7,"endTime":4828.53,"body":"interviewing"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4828.53,"endTime":4832.61,"body":"the the artist and"},{"speaker":"Marcia","startTime":4828.53,"endTime":4832.61,"body":"singer in our next episode."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4832.61,"endTime":4836.577,"body":"Oh, I can't wait for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4832.61,"endTime":4836.577,"body":"that. That sounds so good. So"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":4836.656,"endTime":4838.72,"body":"okay, thank you, everyone."}]}