{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":10.2,"endTime":13.2,"body":"Welcome back to the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":10.2,"endTime":13.2,"body":"transcending humanity podcast,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":13.32,"endTime":18.63,"body":"our monthly tTrans Joy episode."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":13.32,"endTime":18.63,"body":"But first, let's say hello to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":18.66,"endTime":21.27,"body":"Rylie, who hasn't been with us"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":18.66,"endTime":21.27,"body":"for just a little bit. Now, how"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":21.27,"endTime":24.45,"body":"are you doing Rylie? Oh, not too"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":21.27,"endTime":24.45,"body":"bad. Like I was telling you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":24.45,"endTime":27.39,"body":"before we started I've, I've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":24.45,"endTime":27.39,"body":"taken on a puppy."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":27.39,"endTime":28.5,"body":"So I've definitely,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":29.55,"endTime":32.7,"body":"you know, basically taken on"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":29.55,"endTime":32.7,"body":"like a toddler at this point."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":32.7,"endTime":34.8,"body":"He's only 13 weeks old. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":35.91,"endTime":39.03,"body":"and yeah, yeah. Puppies"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":35.91,"endTime":39.03,"body":"are like that. They are like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":39.03,"endTime":42.12,"body":"little toddlers. They're a lot,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":39.03,"endTime":42.12,"body":"but they're also so adorable."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":42.45,"endTime":45.9,"body":"Right? Is that? Is that the only"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":42.45,"endTime":45.9,"body":"pet you have? I don't remember."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":46.56,"endTime":51.12,"body":"Oh, we actually adopted two"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":46.56,"endTime":51.12,"body":"elderly cats back in October as"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":51.12,"endTime":55.62,"body":"well. So okay. Yeah, they're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":51.12,"endTime":55.62,"body":"they're, of course loving having"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":55.62,"endTime":59.7,"body":"a puppy in the house. Sir."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":55.62,"endTime":59.7,"body":"Favorite? Yeah. We have some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":59.7,"endTime":62.7,"body":"elderly cats as well. And when"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":59.7,"endTime":62.7,"body":"my daughter comes to visit with"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":62.7,"endTime":67.44,"body":"her dog, it does not go well for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":62.7,"endTime":67.44,"body":"anybody. Yeah, I'm, honestly I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":67.44,"endTime":71.13,"body":"am surprised at how well they're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":67.44,"endTime":71.13,"body":"adjusting. But they've been kind"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":71.13,"endTime":77.04,"body":"of a surprise. All around. So."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":71.13,"endTime":77.04,"body":"Right. Yeah. Okay, well, let's,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":77.04,"endTime":80.43,"body":"let's get into it. It's just you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":77.04,"endTime":80.43,"body":"and me this week, maybe someone"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":80.43,"endTime":83.76,"body":"else will pop in halfway"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":80.43,"endTime":83.76,"body":"through, I have no idea. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":83.76,"endTime":86.79,"body":"we're talking about trans joy"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":83.76,"endTime":86.79,"body":"and something we need to be able"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":86.79,"endTime":89.04,"body":"to find after tough times."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":90.24,"endTime":94.14,"body":"Coming out of pride in some of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":90.24,"endTime":94.14,"body":"the awful Supreme Court, all of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":94.14,"endTime":96.27,"body":"the Supreme Court decisions are"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":94.14,"endTime":96.27,"body":"awful, right."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":98.88,"endTime":99.69,"body":"And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":101.04,"endTime":103.47,"body":"I was just kind of really down"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":101.04,"endTime":103.47,"body":"after that pride felt really"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":103.47,"endTime":107.49,"body":"heavy to me this year, and a lot"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":103.47,"endTime":107.49,"body":"was a lot more more of a protest"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":107.49,"endTime":110.13,"body":"than maybe in some recent years."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":107.49,"endTime":110.13,"body":"And,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":111.78,"endTime":115.02,"body":"you know, I think I spent a lot"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":111.78,"endTime":115.02,"body":"of the month giving a lot of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":115.02,"endTime":118.86,"body":"talks, mostly to allies, or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":115.02,"endTime":118.86,"body":"people who shouldn't be allies"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":118.86,"endTime":123.84,"body":"to the community, and in a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":118.86,"endTime":123.84,"body":"variety of use and pride. And I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":123.84,"endTime":126.09,"body":"didn't really hold back, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":123.84,"endTime":126.09,"body":"didn't do that. Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":126.09,"endTime":128.55,"body":"amazing and fabulous to be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":126.09,"endTime":128.55,"body":"outside. It's like, let's talk"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":128.55,"endTime":131.55,"body":"about why it's protest. Let's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":128.55,"endTime":131.55,"body":"talk about the legal issues."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":131.58,"endTime":133.26,"body":"Let's talk about the health"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":131.58,"endTime":133.26,"body":"care, immigration, let's talk"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":133.26,"endTime":136.2,"body":"about why you should be better"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":133.26,"endTime":136.2,"body":"allies. And I think coming out"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":136.2,"endTime":139.38,"body":"of this coming into June, I just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":136.2,"endTime":139.38,"body":"felt really heavy."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":140.55,"endTime":143.31,"body":"And I, as I talked to some of my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":140.55,"endTime":143.31,"body":"other friends in the community,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":143.31,"endTime":146.37,"body":"some people hear their podcast"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":143.31,"endTime":146.37,"body":"some people in other places, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":146.37,"endTime":148.08,"body":"kept hearing that the same."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":149.22,"endTime":153.3,"body":"Sort of the same refrain, right."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":149.22,"endTime":153.3,"body":"So I thought, man, you know, how"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":153.3,"endTime":156.72,"body":"do we move past that? And you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":153.3,"endTime":156.72,"body":"know, it got me thinking about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":156.72,"endTime":160.23,"body":"this episode coming up and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":156.72,"endTime":160.23,"body":"wanting to talk about when times"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":160.23,"endTime":164.7,"body":"seem heavy? How can you get some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":160.23,"endTime":164.7,"body":"joy going in your life, right?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":164.7,"endTime":168.54,"body":"Because while it doesn't change"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":164.7,"endTime":168.54,"body":"the reality of the situation, if"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":168.54,"endTime":171.03,"body":"you can get back to a place of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":168.54,"endTime":171.03,"body":"feeling like you're not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":171.03,"endTime":173.43,"body":"everything's all dark, it feels"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":171.03,"endTime":173.43,"body":"like you can handle things a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":173.43,"endTime":175.98,"body":"little bit better. So let's be a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":173.43,"endTime":175.98,"body":"great episode."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":177.48,"endTime":182.55,"body":"So we'll just love your take on"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":177.48,"endTime":182.55,"body":"that rally before we go into any"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":182.55,"endTime":183.18,"body":"of the questions."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":184.71,"endTime":187.44,"body":"Yeah, no, I mean, it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":184.71,"endTime":187.44,"body":"definitely has been a little bit"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":187.44,"endTime":192.57,"body":"heavier. I mean, like, for me,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":187.44,"endTime":192.57,"body":"you know, there's been big"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":192.57,"endTime":195.3,"body":"joyous moments are in like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":192.57,"endTime":195.3,"body":"Cincinnati area, because like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":195.3,"endTime":199.65,"body":"this was our 50th anniversary"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":195.3,"endTime":199.65,"body":"pride this year. And like, so"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":199.65,"endTime":202.29,"body":"that was really exciting. But,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":199.65,"endTime":202.29,"body":"you know, unfortunately, there's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":202.29,"endTime":204.21,"body":"still a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":205.68,"endTime":209.22,"body":"legislation like, I think it was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":205.68,"endTime":209.22,"body":"like the last episode I was on,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":209.22,"endTime":212.91,"body":"I had mentioned that Ohio's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":209.22,"endTime":212.91,"body":"committee was trying to push the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":213.63,"endTime":218.88,"body":"gender affirming care for youth"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":213.63,"endTime":218.88,"body":"to not be allowed. And, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":218.88,"endTime":223.71,"body":"know, just, it is kind of a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":218.88,"endTime":223.71,"body":"surreal thing to think about at"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":223.71,"endTime":228.57,"body":"times. Because, like, for me as"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":223.71,"endTime":228.57,"body":"a 18 year old who was trying to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":228.57,"endTime":232.17,"body":"begin their social transition, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":228.57,"endTime":232.17,"body":"was, you know, that could have"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":232.17,"endTime":234.87,"body":"been me, because I was in high"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":232.17,"endTime":234.87,"body":"school when I started my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":234.87,"endTime":239.1,"body":"transition. And just it weighs"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":234.87,"endTime":239.1,"body":"really differently on me at"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":239.1,"endTime":242.1,"body":"times when I started thinking"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":239.1,"endTime":242.1,"body":"about it, you know, yeah, I'm"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":242.1,"endTime":245.58,"body":"lucky to be where I am in my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":242.1,"endTime":245.58,"body":"transition now. But like, that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":245.58,"endTime":250.89,"body":"could have that mean, right,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":245.58,"endTime":250.89,"body":"just so it does weigh, it does"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":250.89,"endTime":253.2,"body":"weigh on you. And it's hard to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":254.79,"endTime":257.46,"body":"sometimes get out of those"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":254.79,"endTime":257.46,"body":"funks. And there's just little"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":257.46,"endTime":261.45,"body":"things that sometimes we can all"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":257.46,"endTime":261.45,"body":"do for ourselves and each other"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":261.45,"endTime":264.45,"body":"to help with those things. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":261.45,"endTime":264.45,"body":"and I definitely think this is a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":264.45,"endTime":265.89,"body":"good episode to talk about that."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":266.52,"endTime":267.72,"body":"Yeah, for sure."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":269.4,"endTime":274.47,"body":"Yeah, so maybe let's just start"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":269.4,"endTime":274.47,"body":"with, first with what has"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":274.47,"endTime":277.02,"body":"brought you some joy, you know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":274.47,"endTime":277.02,"body":"over the last couple of weeks,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":277.59,"endTime":281.73,"body":"but you can go first strike me"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":277.59,"endTime":281.73,"body":"first. Does he go first? Lady"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":281.73,"endTime":285.81,"body":"first. Oh, well, thank you. A"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":281.73,"endTime":285.81,"body":"couple of things. For me"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":285.81,"endTime":287.4,"body":"personally. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":289.02,"endTime":293.16,"body":"I think also, now that we're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":289.02,"endTime":293.16,"body":"past pride, a lot of the people"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":293.16,"endTime":295.86,"body":"that I talked to and people here"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":293.16,"endTime":295.86,"body":"on the podcast that I talked to,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":295.86,"endTime":299.22,"body":"we all got to talk to each other"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":295.86,"endTime":299.22,"body":"more, you know, so getting to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":299.22,"endTime":300.42,"body":"talk to the trans fam"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":301.53,"endTime":303.6,"body":"has really helped a lot in the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":301.53,"endTime":303.6,"body":"last two weeks and kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":303.6,"endTime":306.21,"body":"hearing the same, hearing the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":303.6,"endTime":306.21,"body":"same refrain, but like, Hey, we"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":306.21,"endTime":309.27,"body":"got it, we gotta get over that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":306.21,"endTime":309.27,"body":"we got to get past that still"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":309.27,"endTime":311.94,"body":"pride still have protests going"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":309.27,"endTime":311.94,"body":"on, right? That really kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":311.94,"endTime":314.88,"body":"helped get my mind going in the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":311.94,"endTime":314.88,"body":"right place."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":316.23,"endTime":320.1,"body":"A couple other things, one of my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":316.23,"endTime":320.1,"body":"besties got engaged over the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":320.1,"endTime":322.77,"body":"last weekend. And I've been"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":320.1,"endTime":322.77,"body":"waiting to hear that news for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":322.77,"endTime":328.02,"body":"like a year for her. So I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":322.77,"endTime":328.02,"body":"super excited about that. I one"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":328.02,"endTime":330.57,"body":"of my other, one of my other"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":328.02,"endTime":330.57,"body":"good friends just finished his"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":330.6,"endTime":333.69,"body":"getting his MBA over the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":330.6,"endTime":333.69,"body":"weekend, I didn't, I thought he"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":333.69,"endTime":336.66,"body":"still had, like, you know, into"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":333.69,"endTime":336.66,"body":"the fall. And he surprised me"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":336.66,"endTime":339.24,"body":"with that news. And it was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":336.66,"endTime":339.24,"body":"really exciting to hear someone"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":339.24,"endTime":342.87,"body":"having personal success. So that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":339.24,"endTime":342.87,"body":"type of stuff always kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":342.87,"endTime":345.0,"body":"feels uplifting, because I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":342.87,"endTime":345.0,"body":"like, Look, good things are"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":345.0,"endTime":346.56,"body":"happening in the world."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":348.18,"endTime":351.72,"body":"I think otherwise, like, we're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":348.18,"endTime":351.72,"body":"going to the beach. So I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":351.72,"endTime":355.47,"body":"go see my mom and my brother is"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":351.72,"endTime":355.47,"body":"going to be there. So I get to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":355.47,"endTime":357.81,"body":"see some of the family that I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":355.47,"endTime":357.81,"body":"don't get to see very often. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":357.81,"endTime":360.51,"body":"I'm looking forward to that. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":357.81,"endTime":360.51,"body":"then we have a big birthday"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":360.51,"endTime":364.86,"body":"party coming up in August for my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":360.51,"endTime":364.86,"body":"partner. So I'm getting to plan"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":364.86,"endTime":367.05,"body":"that. So those are the fun"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":364.86,"endTime":367.05,"body":"things that are going that that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":367.05,"endTime":369.93,"body":"are bringing me joy. I think one"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":367.05,"endTime":369.93,"body":"final thing is"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":371.76,"endTime":373.29,"body":"y'all I have loved threads."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":374.4,"endTime":379.68,"body":"It's been so good for me. I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":374.4,"endTime":379.68,"body":"an adult, when Twitter launched"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":379.77,"endTime":384.24,"body":"in 2006. Like, not just the baby"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":379.77,"endTime":384.24,"body":"adult, but like an adult."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":385.53,"endTime":388.89,"body":"So for me, it's been like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":385.53,"endTime":388.89,"body":"this is what it used to be like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":389.07,"endTime":391.17,"body":"especially without all the hate"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":389.07,"endTime":391.17,"body":"just people being out there and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":391.17,"endTime":394.26,"body":"being weird and weird and queer."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":391.17,"endTime":394.26,"body":"And so I've really enjoyed it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":394.26,"endTime":397.47,"body":"here on its first week. And I've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":394.26,"endTime":397.47,"body":"gotten to, I think the fun thing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":397.47,"endTime":399.99,"body":"is, is like I've gotten to talk"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":397.47,"endTime":399.99,"body":"to some of the people on the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":399.99,"endTime":402.39,"body":"podcast more often than the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":399.99,"endTime":402.39,"body":"other people I know more often,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":402.39,"endTime":404.67,"body":"especially that I only know"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":402.39,"endTime":404.67,"body":"through social media where you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":404.67,"endTime":407.7,"body":"just sort of get this curated"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":404.67,"endTime":407.7,"body":"version of themselves. And so"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":407.7,"endTime":410.28,"body":"getting to talk to some of my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":407.7,"endTime":410.28,"body":"other, those other people that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":410.28,"endTime":412.5,"body":"we've kind of become close to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":410.28,"endTime":412.5,"body":"like, Oh, we're actually having"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":412.5,"endTime":415.35,"body":"a conversation, not just like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":412.5,"endTime":415.35,"body":"here's an image and what I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":415.35,"endTime":416.55,"body":"trying to say to my audience."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":417.6,"endTime":420.99,"body":"So that's been, I think, a blast"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":417.6,"endTime":420.99,"body":"for me this week. And it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":420.99,"endTime":424.02,"body":"brought me to enjoy especially"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":420.99,"endTime":424.02,"body":"because so far, I know some of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":424.02,"endTime":426.51,"body":"the backdrops got certainly get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":424.02,"endTime":426.51,"body":"in there, it's been pretty much"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":426.51,"endTime":431.04,"body":"like we're paradise. Hey, well,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":426.51,"endTime":431.04,"body":"that definitely is a week of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":431.31,"endTime":435.18,"body":"some good news and just good"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":431.31,"endTime":435.18,"body":"energy, it feels like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":437.31,"endTime":440.31,"body":"I think so. It's helped, it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":437.31,"endTime":440.31,"body":"helped. So things are still"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":440.31,"endTime":443.76,"body":"heavy in my life, that they just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":440.31,"endTime":443.76,"body":"are the way life is and you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":443.76,"endTime":447.21,"body":"know, stress at the job and, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":443.76,"endTime":447.21,"body":"know, also aging parents, but"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":447.21,"endTime":451.2,"body":"it's really kind of help lift my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":447.21,"endTime":451.2,"body":"mood and make me feel like okay,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":451.44,"endTime":453.69,"body":"I can get through some of these"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":451.44,"endTime":453.69,"body":"situations now."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":454.65,"endTime":456.9,"body":"Yeah, no, definitely. I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":454.65,"endTime":456.9,"body":"definitely"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":458.73,"endTime":461.94,"body":"agree with that. Because, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":458.73,"endTime":461.94,"body":"know, like for me this week,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":461.94,"endTime":465.63,"body":"especially like, I just had my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":461.94,"endTime":465.63,"body":"new boss finally start after,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":466.02,"endTime":471.0,"body":"right? Yeah, so I started a job"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":466.02,"endTime":471.0,"body":"and literally, like, a week"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":471.0,"endTime":475.14,"body":"later, my boss was fired. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":471.0,"endTime":475.14,"body":"I've been in this weird limbo of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":475.14,"endTime":478.83,"body":"like, I kinda know what I'm"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":475.14,"endTime":478.83,"body":"doing, but I'm doing the best I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":478.83,"endTime":479.67,"body":"can. And"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":480.87,"endTime":485.19,"body":"it was an interesting last like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":480.87,"endTime":485.19,"body":"five weeks without having a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":485.19,"endTime":489.69,"body":"direct like, immediate"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":485.19,"endTime":489.69,"body":"supervisor, and having to go to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":490.11,"endTime":494.31,"body":"the General Manager. So the like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":490.11,"endTime":494.31,"body":"the my boss's boss, essentially,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":494.61,"endTime":495.78,"body":"for the last five weeks."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":497.88,"endTime":501.69,"body":"I love him, but like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":497.88,"endTime":501.69,"body":"I'm excited to have like a new"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":501.69,"endTime":505.74,"body":"boss again. And he seems to be"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":501.69,"endTime":505.74,"body":"fantastic. And we both have"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":505.74,"endTime":508.32,"body":"weird spellings for our names."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":505.74,"endTime":508.32,"body":"So nobody's ever gonna spell"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":508.32,"endTime":508.95,"body":"names right?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":511.77,"endTime":515.19,"body":"over that. Oh, yeah, no,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":511.77,"endTime":515.19,"body":"absolutely. That was like the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":515.19,"endTime":517.89,"body":"first thing I was like, oh, so"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":515.19,"endTime":517.89,"body":"your spelling of Matthew is not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":517.89,"endTime":519.45,"body":"the standard. Matthew. I see."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":521.61,"endTime":523.86,"body":"There's more than one."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":521.61,"endTime":523.86,"body":"I'm curious. Now. You got to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":523.86,"endTime":524.37,"body":"tell us."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":524.85,"endTime":530.1,"body":"So M A T T H I E U - it's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":524.85,"endTime":530.1,"body":"the French spelling."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":531.0,"endTime":531.69,"body":"Matthieu."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":532.53,"endTime":532.89,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":533.82,"endTime":537.96,"body":"That is okay. That's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":533.82,"endTime":537.96,"body":"wild. By the way. Fun fact, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":537.96,"endTime":542.34,"body":"call my boss's boss, my grand"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":537.96,"endTime":542.34,"body":"boss, and I don't care how"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":542.34,"endTime":542.76,"body":"offended"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":544.95,"endTime":550.08,"body":"I mean, I might take that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":544.95,"endTime":550.08,"body":"on. I'm not gonna lie. It's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":550.08,"endTime":554.07,"body":"great. It's probably gonna make"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":550.08,"endTime":554.07,"body":"my gosh, I'm going to use it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":554.07,"endTime":555.99,"body":"right now. My grandpa, so he's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":554.07,"endTime":555.99,"body":"probably going to hate it."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":557.22,"endTime":560.01,"body":"He's only like, three or four"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":557.22,"endTime":560.01,"body":"years older than me."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":561.54,"endTime":564.48,"body":"I know. I love it. I love"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":561.54,"endTime":564.48,"body":"it. Which is I guess you're not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":564.48,"endTime":566.94,"body":"really calling your boss dad"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":564.48,"endTime":566.94,"body":"boss or mom boss. They're just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":566.94,"endTime":571.62,"body":"boss but grandpa's. And I've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":566.94,"endTime":571.62,"body":"gotten like 10 or 15 people"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":571.62,"endTime":572.46,"body":"doing that now to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":574.2,"endTime":576.18,"body":"your bosses or grand boss."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":576.87,"endTime":579.78,"body":"If anything, it sounds"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":576.87,"endTime":579.78,"body":"like a super villain. Like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":579.78,"endTime":581.97,"body":"you're like fighting the grand"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":579.78,"endTime":581.97,"body":"boss."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":584.52,"endTime":588.39,"body":"Exactly. Hey, it looks"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":584.52,"endTime":588.39,"body":"like we have Miss Vanessa, on"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":588.39,"endTime":589.89,"body":"with us today. We just got"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":588.39,"endTime":589.89,"body":"rolling."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":590.37,"endTime":593.82,"body":"Hi! Sorry for being"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":590.37,"endTime":593.82,"body":"late. Actually, I'm surprised"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":593.82,"endTime":598.62,"body":"I'm here. Somehow the baby the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":593.82,"endTime":598.62,"body":"kid went down and he's asleep. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":598.62,"endTime":600.03,"body":"don't know how maybe it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":598.62,"endTime":600.03,"body":"melatonin."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":600.06,"endTime":601.59,"body":"So we'll see."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":602.73,"endTime":606.45,"body":"You're here. He's asleep."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":602.73,"endTime":606.45,"body":"It's all good, exact account all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":608.61,"endTime":611.34,"body":"we've done so far. It's just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":608.61,"endTime":611.34,"body":"introduced the topic of trance"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":611.34,"endTime":614.4,"body":"joy, especially like recovering"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":611.34,"endTime":614.4,"body":"from heavy times. It's kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":614.4,"endTime":616.89,"body":"talking about coming out of that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":614.4,"endTime":616.89,"body":"a lot of us were just like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":617.97,"endTime":621.54,"body":"yeah, so then Rylie and I had"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":617.97,"endTime":621.54,"body":"just taken a turn sharing, like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":621.54,"endTime":624.18,"body":"what brought us some joy this"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":621.54,"endTime":624.18,"body":"week before we jump into some of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":624.18,"endTime":627.9,"body":"our questions. So putting you on"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":624.18,"endTime":627.9,"body":"the spot. Do you have anything"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":627.9,"endTime":629.94,"body":"that has particularly brought"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":627.9,"endTime":629.94,"body":"you some joy?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":631.17,"endTime":631.65,"body":"Oh."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":634.2,"endTime":638.76,"body":"I mean, the fact that I am 47"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":634.2,"endTime":638.76,"body":"days away from my surgery, I am"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":638.76,"endTime":643.8,"body":"just so absolutely fucking"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":638.76,"endTime":643.8,"body":"excited that it's both joyful"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":643.86,"endTime":646.56,"body":"and frustrating at the same"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":643.86,"endTime":646.56,"body":"time, because I know that it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":646.56,"endTime":651.57,"body":"coming, but there's still I love"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":646.56,"endTime":651.57,"body":"your necklace. So soon. Oh, yes,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":651.57,"endTime":654.33,"body":"thank you. It's actually like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":651.57,"endTime":654.33,"body":"little beads that make up the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":654.33,"endTime":657.0,"body":"chain. Oh, that's adorable. I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":654.33,"endTime":657.0,"body":"not gonna lean into your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":657.0,"endTime":658.83,"body":"clothes, because you're gonna"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":657.0,"endTime":658.83,"body":"just see all of this too much."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":660.54,"endTime":663.84,"body":"Like, it's a little"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":660.54,"endTime":663.84,"body":"stretchy, you know? But I love"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":663.84,"endTime":667.77,"body":"it. I love it. I actually got it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":663.84,"endTime":667.77,"body":"for a pride speaking of it, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":667.77,"endTime":670.59,"body":"was like, Oh, this were my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":667.77,"endTime":670.59,"body":"favorite outfit, which has no"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":670.59,"endTime":673.98,"body":"rainbows. Like, I need to add"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":670.59,"endTime":673.98,"body":"some. Right. There you go. There"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":673.98,"endTime":674.46,"body":"you go."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":675.99,"endTime":678.54,"body":"Yeah, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":675.99,"endTime":678.54,"body":"otherwise, the past few weeks"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":678.54,"endTime":679.41,"body":"have just been a blur."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":680.67,"endTime":684.48,"body":"I haven't really been very"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":680.67,"endTime":684.48,"body":"young, trans, queer focused"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":684.48,"endTime":687.63,"body":"other than the podcast. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":684.48,"endTime":687.63,"body":"mean, the thing that just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":687.63,"endTime":690.63,"body":"constantly brings me joy is this"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":687.63,"endTime":690.63,"body":"and all of you everything here."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":690.66,"endTime":691.05,"body":"So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":692.4,"endTime":695.52,"body":"we love that. I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":692.4,"endTime":695.52,"body":"telling Rylie that I have I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":695.52,"endTime":698.76,"body":"addicted to threads. Yes, yes."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":695.52,"endTime":698.76,"body":"Love it."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":699.84,"endTime":700.26,"body":"Love it."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":700.26,"endTime":701.43,"body":"I have purposefully"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":702.66,"endTime":706.71,"body":"not downloaded it yet. But I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":702.66,"endTime":706.71,"body":"will be caving very soon."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":707.76,"endTime":711.24,"body":"Okay, well, we're there."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":707.76,"endTime":711.24,"body":"So come find us. All of us. Are"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":711.24,"endTime":713.91,"body":"there. Most of us. Not all of us"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":711.24,"endTime":713.91,"body":"in there. But most of us most of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":713.91,"endTime":714.21,"body":"us are."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":716.25,"endTime":721.98,"body":"Rylie. Mel. I've seen the movie."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":716.25,"endTime":721.98,"body":"I've seen Liam on there."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":724.14,"endTime":727.53,"body":"I have like 161"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":724.14,"endTime":727.53,"body":"followers already somehow have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":727.53,"endTime":729.24,"body":"no idea how all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":729.24,"endTime":732.24,"body":"I'm slightly behind you."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":729.24,"endTime":732.24,"body":"Like 10 Behind you."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":733.17,"endTime":734.37,"body":"You better start"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":733.17,"endTime":734.37,"body":"picking up."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":737.01,"endTime":738.72,"body":"It's I never got into Twitter."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":740.07,"endTime":743.16,"body":"I could never figure Twitter"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":740.07,"endTime":743.16,"body":"out. Like it just it always just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":743.16,"endTime":746.82,"body":"kind of just blew my mind. Like,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":743.16,"endTime":746.82,"body":"I don't know if it's just the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":746.82,"endTime":751.5,"body":"autism or what but I could"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":746.82,"endTime":751.5,"body":"never. It never booked me in so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":751.5,"endTime":753.84,"body":"but threads has. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":753.96,"endTime":757.59,"body":"I was telling everybody I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":753.96,"endTime":757.59,"body":"was a Twitter adult. I was an"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":757.59,"endTime":760.74,"body":"early adopter when it came out"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":757.59,"endTime":760.74,"body":"in 2006. And I wasn't just like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":760.77,"endTime":764.49,"body":"a baby adult. I was like fully a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":760.77,"endTime":764.49,"body":"fucking adult. Right? So I'm old"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":764.49,"endTime":764.82,"body":"y'all."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":766.02,"endTime":769.47,"body":"And I love I love threads"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":766.02,"endTime":769.47,"body":"because it's so much like early"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":769.47,"endTime":769.92,"body":"Twitter."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":770.73,"endTime":773.91,"body":"I hope it stays. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":770.73,"endTime":773.91,"body":"mean, you know me, I have no"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":773.91,"endTime":776.67,"body":"faith in things staying away"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":773.91,"endTime":776.67,"body":"like that. But yeah, I hope it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":776.67,"endTime":779.43,"body":"does. Because it's a Zuck"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":776.67,"endTime":779.43,"body":"platform. But"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":779.85,"endTime":784.05,"body":"yeah. Okay, so let's get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":779.85,"endTime":784.05,"body":"back into our, our next"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":784.05,"endTime":787.86,"body":"question, right? And so, we're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":784.05,"endTime":787.86,"body":"gonna go from like, what brought"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":787.86,"endTime":790.77,"body":"us joy this week to actually"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":787.86,"endTime":790.77,"body":"talking about navigating back"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":790.77,"endTime":795.09,"body":"towards joy. Right? So how do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":790.77,"endTime":795.09,"body":"you each deal with like, when"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":795.09,"endTime":797.79,"body":"you have a difficult day or a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":795.09,"endTime":797.79,"body":"difficult week, like, what helps"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":797.79,"endTime":802.05,"body":"you get through that? Bike? And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":797.79,"endTime":802.05,"body":"I literally mean, like, mindset,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":802.05,"endTime":804.75,"body":"or these are tools that I need?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":802.05,"endTime":804.75,"body":"Or, you know, what's, what do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":804.75,"endTime":805.08,"body":"you do?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":805.26,"endTime":809.07,"body":"Well, for me personally,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":805.26,"endTime":809.07,"body":"like one of my go twos is like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":809.7,"endTime":813.09,"body":"you know, especially like, even"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":809.7,"endTime":813.09,"body":"if it's just been a hard day at"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":813.09,"endTime":817.68,"body":"work, even just coming home and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":813.09,"endTime":817.68,"body":"just taking time to like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":817.68,"endTime":820.47,"body":"decompress, you know, spend time"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":817.68,"endTime":820.47,"body":"with my pets, spend time with my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":820.47,"endTime":827.01,"body":"partner, just do anything to not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":820.47,"endTime":827.01,"body":"focus on work not focused on the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":827.04,"endTime":830.34,"body":"other stresses. Like, I hate to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":827.04,"endTime":830.34,"body":"say it, but it's kind of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":830.34,"endTime":833.43,"body":"dissociating in a way, but like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":830.34,"endTime":833.43,"body":"in a healthy way of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":835.02,"endTime":839.4,"body":"doing dishes. You know what I'm"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":835.02,"endTime":839.4,"body":"gonna do it, but I'm gonna at"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":839.43,"endTime":841.29,"body":"least be productive if I'm gonna"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":839.43,"endTime":841.29,"body":"do it."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":843.18,"endTime":846.48,"body":"I do kind of like that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":843.18,"endTime":846.48,"body":"tip. I've gone from being a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":847.53,"endTime":848.61,"body":"dissociated or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":849.75,"endTime":852.66,"body":"not under my own control to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":849.75,"endTime":852.66,"body":"being like, this is a moment I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":852.66,"endTime":853.83,"body":"feel like checking out on."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":854.85,"endTime":858.6,"body":"Right. So having a good sense of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":854.85,"endTime":858.6,"body":"control, but I used to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":858.6,"endTime":861.15,"body":"disassociate really badly just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":858.6,"endTime":861.15,"body":"like, gone."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":862.5,"endTime":865.44,"body":"But yeah, I love the idea of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":862.5,"endTime":865.44,"body":"like, and I kind of do the same"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":865.44,"endTime":868.83,"body":"thing when I come home, if we've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":865.44,"endTime":868.83,"body":"been in office, or if I quit"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":868.83,"endTime":872.01,"body":"working, like getting to go"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":868.83,"endTime":872.01,"body":"downstairs and do something"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":872.01,"endTime":874.95,"body":"that's not thinking about that,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":872.01,"endTime":874.95,"body":"whether I'm thinking about work"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":874.95,"endTime":877.8,"body":"or the state of being trans in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":874.95,"endTime":877.8,"body":"America, or like what's going on"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":877.8,"endTime":881.91,"body":"with my own family, doing the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":877.8,"endTime":881.91,"body":"dishes or starting dinner or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":881.91,"endTime":887.31,"body":"like Hey, kiddo, how was summer"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":881.91,"endTime":887.31,"body":"camp today or those things don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":887.31,"endTime":891.54,"body":"don't require any cognitive use"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":887.31,"endTime":891.54,"body":"whatsoever. Kind of really"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":891.54,"endTime":895.44,"body":"helped me get through that. As"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":891.54,"endTime":895.44,"body":"long as I go into them with some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":895.44,"endTime":899.22,"body":"intention, like I'm going to not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":895.44,"endTime":899.22,"body":"think about things so that I can"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":899.22,"endTime":899.91,"body":"step back"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":899.91,"endTime":901.2,"body":"How bout you, Vanessa?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":901.68,"endTime":906.78,"body":"I tend to I mean, Puppy"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":901.68,"endTime":906.78,"body":"cuddles are always good in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":906.78,"endTime":910.08,"body":"past is something actually need"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":906.78,"endTime":910.08,"body":"to get back into doing but I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":910.11,"endTime":910.95,"body":"building Lego."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":912.21,"endTime":912.66,"body":"It's just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":913.8,"endTime":917.82,"body":"it's such a zen experience I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":913.8,"endTime":917.82,"body":"used to have like almost $20,000"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":917.82,"endTime":924.09,"body":"worth of Lego stuff now. There's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":917.82,"endTime":924.09,"body":"a small class a little bit left"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":924.09,"endTime":925.86,"body":"there now, but not a whole lot."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":927.66,"endTime":930.99,"body":"But it's such a Zen thing where"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":927.66,"endTime":930.99,"body":"you can just kind of just turn"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":930.99,"endTime":934.05,"body":"off your brain and just tune"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":930.99,"endTime":934.05,"body":"everything out. Or like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":934.05,"endTime":937.05,"body":"sometimes I'll put on just like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":934.05,"endTime":937.05,"body":"Game Grumps or something in the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":937.05,"endTime":938.4,"body":"background just to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":939.57,"endTime":940.17,"body":"it just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":941.43,"endTime":945.45,"body":"sorry, my dog was... Hey, you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":941.43,"endTime":945.45,"body":"on camera. That's not lady like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":949.5,"endTime":951.09,"body":"Podcast listeners will be like,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":949.5,"endTime":951.09,"body":"What the fuck?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":952.11,"endTime":954.84,"body":"Yeah, I just stuff like that. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":952.11,"endTime":954.84,"body":"like to find ways to just kind"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":954.84,"endTime":958.92,"body":"of Zen out in order to just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":954.84,"endTime":958.92,"body":"block out everything. So lately,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":959.52,"endTime":963.45,"body":"I've been playing lattice Zelda,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":959.52,"endTime":963.45,"body":"that helps me a lot. Like the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":964.08,"endTime":968.04,"body":"colors of the kingdom. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":964.08,"endTime":968.04,"body":"just be Breath of the Wild. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":968.04,"endTime":971.91,"body":"could play tiers of the kingdom"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":968.04,"endTime":971.91,"body":"and don't like tears all that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":971.91,"endTime":976.41,"body":"much. But I'm also taking time"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":971.91,"endTime":976.41,"body":"to grow domain taking time to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":976.41,"endTime":980.67,"body":"grow on me. So I do think that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":976.41,"endTime":980.67,"body":"as you play it, the more you'll"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":980.67,"endTime":983.07,"body":"get into it. And I'm almost"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":980.67,"endTime":983.07,"body":"afraid to go back to breath of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":983.07,"endTime":986.94,"body":"the wild now. Yeah, that's why I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":983.07,"endTime":986.94,"body":"wanted to be I asked, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":986.94,"endTime":989.28,"body":"accidentally beat the Breath of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":986.94,"endTime":989.28,"body":"the Wild. I was just wandering"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":989.28,"endTime":992.76,"body":"around Hi, real castle. And I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":989.28,"endTime":992.76,"body":"went up in Ganon's room and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":992.76,"endTime":996.3,"body":"like, honestly, like, how hard"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":992.76,"endTime":996.3,"body":"this is. So I had an idea, and I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":996.3,"endTime":997.26,"body":"wound up eating it so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":998.28,"endTime":999.51,"body":"well, Erica's like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1002.36,"endTime":1006.62,"body":"no, my comment was gonna"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1002.36,"endTime":1006.62,"body":"be, I haven't played the last"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1006.62,"endTime":1010.01,"body":"this version of the last version"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1006.62,"endTime":1010.01,"body":"of Zelda. I frankly, I don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1010.01,"endTime":1012.41,"body":"think I've played Zelda in like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1010.01,"endTime":1012.41,"body":"eight or nine years. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1012.8,"endTime":1016.31,"body":"really, really out of the loop."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1012.8,"endTime":1016.31,"body":"But I've heard this one is like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1017.06,"endTime":1019.67,"body":"the best thing. This is the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1017.06,"endTime":1019.67,"body":"first one I've played since"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1019.73,"endTime":1023.9,"body":"Ocarina of Time back in, like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1019.73,"endTime":1023.9,"body":"late 90s. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1025.61,"endTime":1027.53,"body":"I think I think I played the one"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1025.61,"endTime":1027.53,"body":"that came out in like, 2010"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1027.53,"endTime":1030.08,"body":"2012. I just, I'm not sure."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1032.48,"endTime":1033.56,"body":"Yes, that one."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1035.78,"endTime":1039.02,"body":"I totally get that. What you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1035.78,"endTime":1039.02,"body":"said too, about like, Oh, I just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1039.14,"endTime":1042.26,"body":"accidentally beat the game. I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1039.14,"endTime":1042.26,"body":"was playing Fallout New Vegas."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1042.29,"endTime":1043.13,"body":"And it's like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1044.87,"endTime":1048.8,"body":"laugh didn't make main storyline"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1044.87,"endTime":1048.8,"body":"until I left it like it's almost"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1048.8,"endTime":1051.98,"body":"endpoint. So I can like, do a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1048.8,"endTime":1051.98,"body":"bunch of other stuff, you know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1052.01,"endTime":1055.67,"body":"big sandbox game. And I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1052.01,"endTime":1055.67,"body":"like, Oh, I'm kind of bored with"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1055.67,"endTime":1058.43,"body":"that. I'll come back to that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1055.67,"endTime":1058.43,"body":"stuff later, and see if I can"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1058.43,"endTime":1061.1,"body":"get all the side quests and then"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1058.43,"endTime":1061.1,"body":"I went and like did the final"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1061.1,"endTime":1064.28,"body":"battle. The game was great time."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1061.1,"endTime":1064.28,"body":"I'm glad you had a good time."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1064.28,"endTime":1068.18,"body":"This game is over now. I did not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1064.28,"endTime":1068.18,"body":"realize that I would have to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1068.18,"endTime":1072.44,"body":"like, oh shit, there's not like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1068.18,"endTime":1072.44,"body":"you can't go back in."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1072.53,"endTime":1073.22,"body":"That's annoying."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1074.78,"endTime":1077.51,"body":"At least so the new Zelda"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1074.78,"endTime":1077.51,"body":"game at least lets you go back."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1077.54,"endTime":1080.03,"body":"It just tells you like, Hey, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1077.54,"endTime":1080.03,"body":"began and it just gives you a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1080.03,"endTime":1083.45,"body":"little star on your saying."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1080.03,"endTime":1083.45,"body":"Yeah, that would kill me. I was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1083.45,"endTime":1085.52,"body":"like, auuuugh, Fallout, I'm"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1083.45,"endTime":1085.52,"body":"never playing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1085.52,"endTime":1086.12,"body":"you again."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1086.0,"endTime":1089.6,"body":"That's so - Like, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1086.0,"endTime":1089.6,"body":"like like how Final Fantasy 15"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1089.63,"endTime":1092.09,"body":"where you'd beat it. But then"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1089.63,"endTime":1092.09,"body":"you go back and there's so much"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1092.09,"endTime":1094.88,"body":"more game to play after you beat"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1092.09,"endTime":1094.88,"body":"it. So yeah, which is a good"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1094.88,"endTime":1095.3,"body":"sign."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1096.26,"endTime":1100.7,"body":"Right? Okay, so we find"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1096.26,"endTime":1100.7,"body":"ways to cope right we kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1101.27,"endTime":1104.66,"body":"maybe we disconnect or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1101.27,"endTime":1104.66,"body":"disassociate? Do we get to a Zen"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1104.66,"endTime":1109.13,"body":"moment we play we play games I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1104.66,"endTime":1109.13,"body":"think I don't know about you all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1109.13,"endTime":1112.85,"body":"I I've always been a person that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1109.13,"endTime":1112.85,"body":"sort of talks themselves through"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1112.85,"endTime":1113.51,"body":"things."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1114.59,"endTime":1117.77,"body":"But since transition since like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1114.59,"endTime":1117.77,"body":"getting the right chemicals in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1117.77,"endTime":1121.16,"body":"my brain, I found that to be far"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1117.77,"endTime":1121.16,"body":"more effective. Because there"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1121.16,"endTime":1123.53,"body":"was like, for me, I always had"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1121.16,"endTime":1123.53,"body":"like the static in the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1123.53,"endTime":1128.27,"body":"background before I started"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1123.53,"endTime":1128.27,"body":"estrogen that went away. And so"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1128.27,"endTime":1131.03,"body":"that's usually a part of it for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1128.27,"endTime":1131.03,"body":"me too is like I I need to get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1131.06,"endTime":1134.36,"body":"like some distance the thing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1131.06,"endTime":1134.36,"body":"that I'm currently upset about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1135.32,"endTime":1138.89,"body":"so that I can then maybe a day"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1135.32,"endTime":1138.89,"body":"later come back and and have a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1138.89,"endTime":1142.79,"body":"conversation with myself like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1138.89,"endTime":1142.79,"body":"okay, this sucks, but you got to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1142.79,"endTime":1145.25,"body":"do something about it. Yeah, and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1142.79,"endTime":1145.25,"body":"that's usually the beginning of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1145.25,"endTime":1150.92,"body":"getting on good fitting good"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1145.25,"endTime":1150.92,"body":"footing. Do you guys have Gee, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1150.92,"endTime":1154.61,"body":"think because this is a trends"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1150.92,"endTime":1154.61,"body":"podcast, has your transness"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1154.61,"endTime":1157.52,"body":"helps more recently or not?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1157.82,"endTime":1162.2,"body":"For me Not always. I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1157.82,"endTime":1162.2,"body":"mean, there's sometimes it does"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1162.29,"endTime":1162.8,"body":"like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1164.45,"endTime":1171.8,"body":"like I I was watching rent the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1164.45,"endTime":1171.8,"body":"other day and I just kind of HID"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1171.8,"endTime":1175.85,"body":"differently this time around and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1171.8,"endTime":1175.85,"body":"I was just just like, in the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1175.85,"endTime":1178.01,"body":"fields though most of the movie"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1179.21,"endTime":1181.94,"body":"but you know, like somehow it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1179.21,"endTime":1181.94,"body":"just kind of like helped me feel"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1181.94,"endTime":1184.55,"body":"a little more connected though"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1181.94,"endTime":1184.55,"body":"at the same time, like in a good"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1184.55,"endTime":1188.33,"body":"way. And while I was like still"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1184.55,"endTime":1188.33,"body":"like upset and like sobbing"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1188.33,"endTime":1192.35,"body":"because like it's it's obviously"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1188.33,"endTime":1192.35,"body":"sad stuff, but like it did like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1192.35,"endTime":1196.76,"body":"also still bring me a little bit"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1192.35,"endTime":1196.76,"body":"closer to like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1196.76,"endTime":1199.55,"body":"especially like Angel in that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1196.76,"endTime":1199.55,"body":"particular movie is you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1201.2,"endTime":1206.48,"body":"a trans woman at that, right?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1201.2,"endTime":1206.48,"body":"Yeah, it's just a lot of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1207.14,"endTime":1211.73,"body":"similarities, I guess in modern"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1207.14,"endTime":1211.73,"body":"day with that movie going on,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1211.88,"endTime":1214.73,"body":"not necessarily in the AIDS"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1211.88,"endTime":1214.73,"body":"perspective, but just a lot of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1214.73,"endTime":1219.08,"body":"the hate and backlash towards"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1214.73,"endTime":1219.08,"body":"the community. So it's just one"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1219.08,"endTime":1221.66,"body":"of those things where, while it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1219.08,"endTime":1221.66,"body":"is still"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1223.61,"endTime":1226.13,"body":"a little hard to watch at times,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1223.61,"endTime":1226.13,"body":"it is still also one of those"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1226.13,"endTime":1229.61,"body":"things. It's like, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1226.13,"endTime":1229.61,"body":"have come a long way since even"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1229.61,"endTime":1230.27,"body":"this."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1230.87,"endTime":1234.65,"body":"Yeah, I frankly love that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1230.87,"endTime":1234.65,"body":"you mentioned read. It's one of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1234.65,"endTime":1238.34,"body":"my favorite musicals, one of my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1234.65,"endTime":1238.34,"body":"favorite soundtracks and it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1238.34,"endTime":1241.73,"body":"actually actually have like a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1238.34,"endTime":1241.73,"body":"movie score soundtrack musical."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1241.73,"endTime":1244.55,"body":"So she was one of the ones that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1241.73,"endTime":1244.55,"body":"I put on when I needed to like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1245.18,"endTime":1247.1,"body":"to see your music and do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1245.18,"endTime":1247.1,"body":"something out. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1248.06,"endTime":1250.61,"body":"if I had listened to that song"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1248.06,"endTime":1250.61,"body":"the last couple of days, I would"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1250.61,"endTime":1255.14,"body":"actually be singing how many"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1250.61,"endTime":1255.14,"body":"minutes in the air to you know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1255.14,"endTime":1259.94,"body":"not, it's okay. 525,000"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1255.14,"endTime":1259.94,"body":"Something something minutes."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1260.39,"endTime":1260.99,"body":"Anyways."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1262.13,"endTime":1263.48,"body":"Yeah, how bout"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1264.89,"endTime":1269.96,"body":"Vanessa has has been trans at"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1264.89,"endTime":1269.96,"body":"durability to kind of navigate"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1272.84,"body":"rough situations or, or no"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1269.96,"endTime":1272.84,"body":"noticeable difference are"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1272.87,"endTime":1274.01,"body":"actually kind of made it harder."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1274.85,"endTime":1276.77,"body":"It's made it both"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1274.85,"endTime":1276.77,"body":"easier and harder."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1277.82,"endTime":1281.66,"body":"The how you mentioned the static"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1277.82,"endTime":1281.66,"body":"that is so true, like,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1283.22,"endTime":1287.48,"body":"because our bodies like Rylie"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1283.22,"endTime":1287.48,"body":"was producing estrogen when"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1287.51,"endTime":1290.48,"body":"Rylie's brain was craving"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1287.51,"endTime":1290.48,"body":"testosterone, us we were"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1290.57,"endTime":1293.6,"body":"producing testosterone, and we"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1290.57,"endTime":1293.6,"body":"craved estrogen. It's just,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1294.08,"endTime":1299.42,"body":"that's, and so everything I do"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1294.08,"endTime":1299.42,"body":"is so much clearer now."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1300.59,"endTime":1304.82,"body":"But on the other side of that,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1300.59,"endTime":1304.82,"body":"everything is so much clearer"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1304.82,"endTime":1306.44,"body":"now. You know?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1307.67,"endTime":1308.84,"body":"All right. So both ways."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1308.87,"endTime":1310.79,"body":"Yeah. So like I can"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1312.35,"endTime":1315.35,"body":"I see things I can approach"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1312.35,"endTime":1315.35,"body":"things so much better than I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1315.35,"endTime":1318.83,"body":"could before with so much more"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1315.35,"endTime":1318.83,"body":"clarity, but I also have so many"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1318.83,"endTime":1322.07,"body":"more emotions now. But I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1318.83,"endTime":1322.07,"body":"wouldn't trade this for the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1322.07,"endTime":1325.04,"body":"world because I love having"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1322.07,"endTime":1325.04,"body":"these extra emotions. It's I've"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1325.04,"endTime":1328.73,"body":"learned how to, I've learned"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1325.04,"endTime":1328.73,"body":"myself, I figured out that I'm"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1328.73,"endTime":1330.41,"body":"autistic. And"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1331.7,"endTime":1338.27,"body":"it's just been wonderful. Just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1331.7,"endTime":1338.27,"body":"being trans. Being out as trans"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1338.27,"endTime":1341.54,"body":"admitting finally admitting to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1338.27,"endTime":1341.54,"body":"myself that I am has been the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1341.54,"endTime":1343.82,"body":"most rewarding experience of my"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1341.54,"endTime":1343.82,"body":"life."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1345.14,"endTime":1351.8,"body":"It's not easy, but it's we we"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1345.14,"endTime":1351.8,"body":"all lived our lives lived a lie"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1351.8,"endTime":1352.82,"body":"for so long."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1354.47,"endTime":1359.3,"body":"And once you are able to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1360.65,"endTime":1362.96,"body":"have a lot of edits in here that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1360.65,"endTime":1362.96,"body":"I'm gonna have to pause and I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1362.96,"endTime":1364.88,"body":"have to edit out and pissing"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1362.96,"endTime":1364.88,"body":"myself off."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1366.29,"endTime":1368.12,"body":"Make a funny face now."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1366.29,"endTime":1368.12,"body":"Oh."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1370.88,"endTime":1374.36,"body":"So I don't even"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1370.88,"endTime":1374.36,"body":"remember I was being trans is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1374.36,"endTime":1378.29,"body":"awesome. We'll put it there."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1374.36,"endTime":1378.29,"body":"It's a superpower. I think it is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1378.29,"endTime":1382.04,"body":"a superpower. It really does"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1378.29,"endTime":1382.04,"body":"shape shift, or shapeshifters."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1382.64,"endTime":1387.2,"body":"Yeah, actually, one of my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1382.64,"endTime":1387.2,"body":"favorite things is my wife calls"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1387.2,"endTime":1389.18,"body":"me her her precious changeling."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1390.41,"endTime":1393.5,"body":"Because I just adapt to things"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1390.41,"endTime":1393.5,"body":"all the time. And so for me,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1393.5,"endTime":1396.41,"body":"that's, I'm so loved that you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1393.5,"endTime":1396.41,"body":"said that word. That's joy,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1396.41,"endTime":1396.83,"body":"right there"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1397.13,"endTime":1401.06,"body":"Adapting is the trans"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1397.13,"endTime":1401.06,"body":"experience. It's that's why we"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1401.06,"endTime":1406.1,"body":"make such good employees. As, as"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1401.06,"endTime":1406.1,"body":"Lisa said last week, because we"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1406.1,"endTime":1408.32,"body":"can adapt. We can adapt."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1410.87,"endTime":1414.02,"body":"Yeah, I mean, like you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1410.87,"endTime":1414.02,"body":"said, I think you know, our"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1414.02,"endTime":1417.29,"body":"trans. I mean, I assume I'm here"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1414.02,"endTime":1417.29,"body":"there's so much for transplant."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1417.29,"endTime":1420.8,"body":"I don't know how I think maybe"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1417.29,"endTime":1420.8,"body":"rarely mentioned this for not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1420.8,"endTime":1423.05,"body":"early on this podcast, but one"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1420.8,"endTime":1423.05,"body":"before that, but like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1424.4,"endTime":1427.58,"body":"feelings feel so much better to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1424.4,"endTime":1427.58,"body":"me now when before they felt"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1427.58,"endTime":1431.12,"body":"kind of like locked away and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1427.58,"endTime":1431.12,"body":"withheld from me like I know"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1431.12,"endTime":1434.39,"body":"you're there but I can't like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1431.12,"endTime":1434.39,"body":"touch it. So it felt like I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1434.39,"endTime":1436.1,"body":"in it longer and now"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1437.48,"endTime":1440.48,"body":"they're just the volume is"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1437.48,"endTime":1440.48,"body":"turned all the way up. Right?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1440.54,"endTime":1442.7,"body":"You know, so they come hard and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1440.54,"endTime":1442.7,"body":"fast. You can't miss them. They"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1442.7,"endTime":1445.94,"body":"don't need to be on lock biggest"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1442.7,"endTime":1445.94,"body":"calm. But I think you know, for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1445.94,"endTime":1448.79,"body":"me, one of the things that kind"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1445.94,"endTime":1448.79,"body":"of goes along with getting out"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1448.79,"endTime":1451.16,"body":"of a tough time is watching"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1448.79,"endTime":1451.16,"body":"something that makes me cry like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1451.16,"endTime":1455.54,"body":"happy tears even happy. Even"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1451.16,"endTime":1455.54,"body":"like, having happy tears sort of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1455.54,"endTime":1459.23,"body":"feels like getting that good cry"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1455.54,"endTime":1459.23,"body":"in which I used to hate before"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1459.23,"endTime":1463.97,"body":"asked you to now Mike, that's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1459.23,"endTime":1463.97,"body":"amazing. But, Rylie, what I hear"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1463.97,"endTime":1467.15,"body":"a lot for transmis is they find"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1463.97,"endTime":1467.15,"body":"this feeling stoled and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1467.15,"endTime":1468.26,"body":"potentially harder."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1468.38,"endTime":1472.07,"body":"Oh, it definitely can be"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1468.38,"endTime":1472.07,"body":"at times. I mean, like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1472.31,"endTime":1478.16,"body":"especially when my dosage wasn't"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1472.31,"endTime":1478.16,"body":"correct. I definitely was like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1478.16,"endTime":1481.61,"body":"my first year on TF. I know I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1478.16,"endTime":1481.61,"body":"talked about it a little bit in"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1481.61,"endTime":1487.16,"body":"the trans mask upload. I was on"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1481.61,"endTime":1487.16,"body":"a dose that was insanely high"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1487.22,"endTime":1490.37,"body":"and like oh, honestly like it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1487.22,"endTime":1490.37,"body":"was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1491.42,"endTime":1494.99,"body":"it was so bad for my mental"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1491.42,"endTime":1494.99,"body":"health in the long run at that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1494.99,"endTime":1498.68,"body":"point in time. And especially as"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1494.99,"endTime":1498.68,"body":"an 18 year old who just was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1498.71,"endTime":1500.03,"body":"learning how to deal with it."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1500.03,"endTime":1504.95,"body":"or emotions as an adult anyway,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1500.03,"endTime":1504.95,"body":"it was a fun time."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1506.63,"endTime":1511.01,"body":"And you know, especially when I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1506.63,"endTime":1511.01,"body":"finally went and got the dose"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1511.01,"endTime":1514.94,"body":"lowered, and my body didn't know"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1511.01,"endTime":1514.94,"body":"what to do, basically, it was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1514.94,"endTime":1519.77,"body":"like this is a complete shock."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1514.94,"endTime":1519.77,"body":"Like, honestly, like, I would"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1519.77,"endTime":1524.3,"body":"never wish that on anybody that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1519.77,"endTime":1524.3,"body":"was by far just one of the most,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1524.66,"endTime":1527.54,"body":"like, unpleasant experiences."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1528.44,"endTime":1528.83,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1529.58,"endTime":1532.1,"body":"Going from really? Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1529.58,"endTime":1532.1,"body":"going from an insanely high dose"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1532.1,"endTime":1533.57,"body":"to a really low dose."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1534.8,"endTime":1537.35,"body":"I do have an experience"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1534.8,"endTime":1537.35,"body":"with that, I think. But we"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1537.35,"endTime":1540.71,"body":"talked to Vanessa about this on"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1537.35,"endTime":1540.71,"body":"the side, when she first started"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1540.74,"endTime":1543.23,"body":"injections not too long ago,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1545.0,"endTime":1548.99,"body":"where when they moved me from an"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1545.0,"endTime":1548.99,"body":"oral does to an injection"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1548.99,"endTime":1552.44,"body":"because I wasn't taking in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1548.99,"endTime":1552.44,"body":"enough. I wasn't metabolizing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1552.53,"endTime":1556.31,"body":"enough of the estrogen, right?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1552.53,"endTime":1556.31,"body":"Plus it bypasses deliver all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1556.31,"endTime":1557.9,"body":"that good stuff. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1559.88,"endTime":1563.36,"body":"yeah, at the first month, I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1559.88,"endTime":1563.36,"body":"like, wow, this is a powerful"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1563.69,"endTime":1567.14,"body":"difference, right. And then by"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1563.69,"endTime":1567.14,"body":"the middle of the month, in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1567.14,"endTime":1570.14,"body":"month, end of month, I was like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1567.14,"endTime":1570.14,"body":"I am an emotional wreck and a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1570.14,"endTime":1574.55,"body":"mess at all times. You can set"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1570.14,"endTime":1574.55,"body":"me off by being in the same room"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1574.55,"endTime":1575.66,"body":"with me and not moving."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1576.95,"endTime":1580.31,"body":"And it was just a really wild"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1576.95,"endTime":1580.31,"body":"experience. I'm like, Oh, my God"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1580.31,"endTime":1584.09,"body":"did I make? Did I make a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1580.31,"endTime":1584.09,"body":"mistake? So I I talked to the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1584.09,"endTime":1587.63,"body":"doctor a couple of times, I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1584.09,"endTime":1587.63,"body":"like, this seems I want a good"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1587.63,"endTime":1591.38,"body":"dose. But this seems like a lot."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1587.63,"endTime":1591.38,"body":"And he's like, I mean here, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1591.38,"endTime":1594.8,"body":"know, it's not that much, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1591.38,"endTime":1594.8,"body":"should be fine. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1596.3,"endTime":1598.79,"body":"I was like, Are you sure? I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1596.3,"endTime":1598.79,"body":"going through this vial faster"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1598.79,"endTime":1601.49,"body":"than you said? I would he's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1598.79,"endTime":1601.49,"body":"like, Well, you are you giving"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1601.49,"endTime":1605.18,"body":"your medicine to people? It's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1601.49,"endTime":1605.18,"body":"like, no. So the more reluctant"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1605.18,"endTime":1608.78,"body":"to realize they gave me the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1605.18,"endTime":1608.78,"body":"wrong syringe, I was giving"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1608.78,"endTime":1611.33,"body":"myself a triple dose every week."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1612.71,"endTime":1617.18,"body":"Right. So my estrogen was like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1612.71,"endTime":1617.18,"body":"way up there to that first"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1617.18,"endTime":1620.45,"body":"month. But I was a disaster."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1621.62,"endTime":1627.08,"body":"So kids out there, don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1621.62,"endTime":1627.08,"body":"overdose on your medicines, and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1627.08,"endTime":1629.72,"body":"I don't really like overdose."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1627.08,"endTime":1629.72,"body":"But like, Don't get yourself a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1629.72,"endTime":1633.89,"body":"crazy dose, like it's your"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1629.72,"endTime":1633.89,"body":"syringe. It is a rough ride,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1633.89,"endTime":1637.55,"body":"don't do it. And also, I just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1633.89,"endTime":1637.55,"body":"always like to point this out to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1637.55,"endTime":1640.76,"body":"people. I know we shoot to get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1637.55,"endTime":1640.76,"body":"to a certain threshold,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1640.79,"endTime":1642.23,"body":"particularly for estrogen. I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1640.79,"endTime":1642.23,"body":"don't know what it is for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1642.23,"endTime":1645.32,"body":"testosterone, but people get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1642.23,"endTime":1645.32,"body":"like really hung up on the on a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1645.32,"endTime":1649.34,"body":"dose that gets you there. Don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1645.32,"endTime":1649.34,"body":"forget, it's also about how you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1649.37,"endTime":1653.45,"body":"how sensitive you are. Some of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1649.37,"endTime":1653.45,"body":"us can get to the right"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1653.45,"endTime":1657.23,"body":"threshold with less. So when you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1653.45,"endTime":1657.23,"body":"give that if you're out there"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1657.23,"endTime":1660.11,"body":"giving that advice to people"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1657.23,"endTime":1660.11,"body":"remember, someone may be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1660.11,"endTime":1663.62,"body":"insensitive, and someone may be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1660.11,"endTime":1663.62,"body":"sensitive. And that's going to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1663.62,"endTime":1665.33,"body":"be two different doses."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1666.68,"endTime":1668.45,"body":"Okay, sorry. I just have to get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1666.68,"endTime":1668.45,"body":"that lesson."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1668.45,"endTime":1670.85,"body":"Oh, no, you're okay. I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1668.45,"endTime":1670.85,"body":"mean, honestly, that's a great"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1670.85,"endTime":1673.37,"body":"example, though. Because like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1670.85,"endTime":1673.37,"body":"honestly, I had a roommate in"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1673.37,"endTime":1677.18,"body":"college, and we were both taking"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1673.37,"endTime":1677.18,"body":"testosterone. And his dose was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1677.21,"endTime":1680.69,"body":"even once I got down to the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1677.21,"endTime":1680.69,"body":"proper dose. I mean, there was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1680.69,"endTime":1684.8,"body":"probably a six, seven inch"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1680.69,"endTime":1684.8,"body":"difference in height, but like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1684.8,"endTime":1689.03,"body":"we were similar weight, but we"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1684.8,"endTime":1689.03,"body":"had such a different dosage."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1690.44,"endTime":1693.86,"body":"So like, it really does make a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1690.44,"endTime":1693.86,"body":"difference and like so follow"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1693.86,"endTime":1696.44,"body":"your doctor's instructions."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1693.86,"endTime":1696.44,"body":"Don't Don't mess with your"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1696.44,"endTime":1698.27,"body":"dosage without talking to your"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1696.44,"endTime":1698.27,"body":"doctor."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1698.93,"endTime":1701.3,"body":"Yeah, follow your"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1698.93,"endTime":1701.3,"body":"doctor's instructions. If you're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1701.3,"endTime":1704.81,"body":"not seeing results over a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1701.3,"endTime":1704.81,"body":"certain amount of time. Ask for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1704.81,"endTime":1705.53,"body":"a little more, but"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1706.8,"endTime":1710.58,"body":"give yourself great details."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1706.8,"endTime":1710.58,"body":"Unless you are insensitive. In"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1710.58,"endTime":1713.31,"body":"using the doctor can figure that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1710.58,"endTime":1713.31,"body":"out. Sorry. Just safety tips"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1713.31,"endTime":1713.85,"body":"kids."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1713.91,"endTime":1714.27,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1715.98,"endTime":1720.24,"body":"Can I can I divert us really"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1715.98,"endTime":1720.24,"body":"quick? Just Just a minute. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1720.48,"endTime":1723.39,"body":"I have a question for you."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1720.48,"endTime":1723.39,"body":"Rylie. It's something that I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1723.39,"endTime":1725.22,"body":"couldn't google it, but you're"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1723.39,"endTime":1725.22,"body":"right here."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1726.93,"endTime":1732.51,"body":"Is there an estrogen blocker? Or"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1726.93,"endTime":1732.51,"body":"does it just like override it so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":1732.51,"endTime":1733.11,"body":"much?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1733.62,"endTime":1737.58,"body":"Yeah, the testosterone is"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1733.62,"endTime":1737.58,"body":"all I gotta take. Okay. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1737.58,"endTime":1741.78,"body":"it's, it's, I must say it is"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1737.58,"endTime":1741.78,"body":"nice. It's nice to not have to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1741.81,"endTime":1744.03,"body":"worry about multiple"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1741.81,"endTime":1744.03,"body":"medications. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1745.23,"endTime":1745.71,"body":"But"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1746.85,"endTime":1750.96,"body":"that could just be the, I don't"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1746.85,"endTime":1750.96,"body":"want to say like that is the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1750.96,"endTime":1753.21,"body":"standard because like, it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1750.96,"endTime":1753.21,"body":"generally is, though."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1754.62,"endTime":1758.49,"body":"Yeah. Hey, all of our"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1754.62,"endTime":1758.49,"body":"friends who are going on T and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1758.49,"endTime":1762.12,"body":"anybody who's interested, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1758.49,"endTime":1762.12,"body":"recommend you read testosterone."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1762.12,"endTime":1765.0,"body":"I think it's an unauthorized"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1762.12,"endTime":1765.0,"body":"biography. I just pulled it back"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1765.0,"endTime":1768.63,"body":"out. And it really talks about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1765.0,"endTime":1768.63,"body":"testosterone and how it works"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1768.63,"endTime":1771.72,"body":"and people who are sensitive and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1768.63,"endTime":1771.72,"body":"insensitive and it talks about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1771.72,"endTime":1774.75,"body":"the sports aspects even it's a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1771.72,"endTime":1774.75,"body":"really great book. You should"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1774.84,"endTime":1777.33,"body":"you should check it out if you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1774.84,"endTime":1777.33,"body":"want to learn about it. Right"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1777.33,"endTime":1780.6,"body":"because it's it's really kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1777.33,"endTime":1780.6,"body":"cool to wonder about that. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1780.6,"endTime":1784.62,"body":"yes, but that's a testerone is a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1780.6,"endTime":1784.62,"body":"is the primary sex hormone and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1784.62,"endTime":1788.34,"body":"will override estrogen at the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1784.62,"endTime":1788.34,"body":"right right level for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1788.34,"endTime":1790.41,"body":"transplants and they don't have"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1788.34,"endTime":1790.41,"body":"to take anything to suppress"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1790.41,"endTime":1794.37,"body":"estrogen. That's while something"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1790.41,"endTime":1794.37,"body":"which is why they have to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1794.37,"endTime":1798.0,"body":"suppress ours because it will"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1794.37,"endTime":1798.0,"body":"overfill just Yeah, right on top"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1798.0,"endTime":1799.65,"body":"of the Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1799.98,"endTime":1800.34,"body":"Hmm,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1801.75,"endTime":1805.71,"body":"cool. More tips for you. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1801.75,"endTime":1805.71,"body":"we're always we're always about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1805.71,"endTime":1810.36,"body":"tips here. Okay. Um, we kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1805.71,"endTime":1810.36,"body":"talked around this, this"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1810.36,"endTime":1813.99,"body":"question. So I'm the one I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1810.36,"endTime":1813.99,"body":"planning next, which is like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1813.99,"endTime":1815.94,"body":"what do you do to pull yourself"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1813.99,"endTime":1815.94,"body":"out of these moments? We've kind"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1815.94,"endTime":1816.72,"body":"of already hit that."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1817.86,"endTime":1821.16,"body":"But I want to go on to the next"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1817.86,"endTime":1821.16,"body":"one, which is what's a reliable"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1821.16,"endTime":1825.39,"body":"way for you to find some joy?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1821.16,"endTime":1825.39,"body":"Like, a lot of times I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1825.39,"endTime":1829.5,"body":"most of us experience in Tinder,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1825.39,"endTime":1829.5,"body":"euphoria, trenched, or just joy"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1830.49,"endTime":1831.69,"body":"in our lives, and it's kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1832.74,"endTime":1834.99,"body":"something that just happens in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1832.74,"endTime":1834.99,"body":"the moment, right? And maybe"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1834.99,"endTime":1838.95,"body":"it's intentional, like, Oh, I've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1834.99,"endTime":1838.95,"body":"learned my favorite thing today."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1839.37,"endTime":1842.04,"body":"Right, or I got to see. All"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1839.37,"endTime":1842.04,"body":"right, I know I'm seeing my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1842.04,"endTime":1844.02,"body":"favorite person today. But I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1842.04,"endTime":1844.02,"body":"think longtime it's kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1844.05,"endTime":1847.77,"body":"incidental. So since you can't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1844.05,"endTime":1847.77,"body":"really count on that. Do you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1847.77,"endTime":1851.97,"body":"have things that, you know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1847.77,"endTime":1851.97,"body":"like, hey, this will probably"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1851.97,"endTime":1853.17,"body":"get me going in the right"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1851.97,"endTime":1853.17,"body":"direction."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1853.35,"endTime":1858.69,"body":"Okay, eye makeup for me. It's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1853.35,"endTime":1858.69,"body":"whenever I'm feeling any sort of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1858.69,"endTime":1861.84,"body":"dysphoria. I just, I don't leave"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1858.69,"endTime":1861.84,"body":"the I don't leave the house"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1861.84,"endTime":1865.17,"body":"without least doing a little bit"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1861.84,"endTime":1865.17,"body":"to my eyes. And that just snaps"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1865.17,"endTime":1871.92,"body":"me right out of it. Because I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1865.17,"endTime":1871.92,"body":"like being pretty. Yes. Yes, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1871.95,"endTime":1874.83,"body":"you do quite good. Eye makeup"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1871.95,"endTime":1874.83,"body":"better than me weren't great."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1875.01,"endTime":1877.77,"body":"And I see you with it a lot. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1875.01,"endTime":1877.77,"body":"it's great. It's all I ever"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1877.77,"endTime":1881.76,"body":"want. You look good. With I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1877.77,"endTime":1881.76,"body":"don't like how I look without"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1881.79,"endTime":1886.05,"body":"makeup. You do without the eyes."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1881.79,"endTime":1886.05,"body":"Your eyes done. I love how you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1886.05,"endTime":1890.22,"body":"look. So I mean, I do do some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1886.05,"endTime":1890.22,"body":"eye makeup occasion. But when"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1890.22,"endTime":1894.33,"body":"I'm wearing the big red glasses,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1890.22,"endTime":1894.33,"body":"it doesn't. It doesn't matter."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1894.42,"endTime":1897.03,"body":"But a fun fact, for all of you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1894.42,"endTime":1897.03,"body":"out there. I need glasses to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1897.03,"endTime":1899.82,"body":"read. If you see me in real"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1897.03,"endTime":1899.82,"body":"life, you won't see me wearing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1899.82,"endTime":1902.58,"body":"glasses. Unless I'm literally"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1899.82,"endTime":1902.58,"body":"looking at a menu or looking at"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1902.58,"endTime":1905.58,"body":"my phone. It blew my mind seeing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1902.58,"endTime":1905.58,"body":"the pictures of guilt like at"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1905.58,"endTime":1909.81,"body":"the museum or your at your"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1905.58,"endTime":1909.81,"body":"classes. I'm like - is that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1909.81,"endTime":1910.29,"body":"Erica?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1910.8,"endTime":1915.48,"body":"Yes, it's me. I am here I am."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1910.8,"endTime":1915.48,"body":"I'm farsighted. So I need any"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1915.51,"endTime":1919.26,"body":"strong reading glasses. So I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1915.51,"endTime":1919.26,"body":"literally at the range from the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1919.26,"endTime":1921.93,"body":"computer which I can see you all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1919.26,"endTime":1921.93,"body":"clearly. And if I lean back when"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1921.93,"endTime":1922.89,"body":"it's you become blurry."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1924.42,"endTime":1929.07,"body":"So sorry, another fun fact. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1924.42,"endTime":1929.07,"body":"you said I makeup and I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1929.07,"endTime":1931.71,"body":"Rylie was gonna tell us"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1929.07,"endTime":1931.71,"body":"something."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1932.61,"endTime":1936.3,"body":"Oh, yeah. I was gonna say"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1932.61,"endTime":1936.3,"body":"like, for me, honestly, I do"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1936.3,"endTime":1940.32,"body":"like shopping actually. So like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1936.3,"endTime":1940.32,"body":"going out and finding I have a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1940.65,"endTime":1942.87,"body":"unhealthy collection of ties"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1943.95,"endTime":1945.78,"body":"that I have obtained."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1947.46,"endTime":1952.5,"body":"And it's such a subtle little,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1947.46,"endTime":1952.5,"body":"like, you know, gender affirming"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1952.5,"endTime":1956.01,"body":"thing, and usually ties kind of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1952.5,"endTime":1956.01,"body":"cheap sometimes, especially if"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1956.01,"endTime":1959.58,"body":"you go thrifting and you can"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1956.01,"endTime":1959.58,"body":"find some really cool ones. And"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1959.58,"endTime":1961.86,"body":"so like for me, like I mean,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1959.58,"endTime":1961.86,"body":"sometimes you're gonna find some"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1961.86,"endTime":1963.99,"body":"really gross looking ones too."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1961.86,"endTime":1963.99,"body":"But like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1965.25,"endTime":1968.13,"body":"you know, just going out like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1965.25,"endTime":1968.13,"body":"today actually, I just got a new"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1968.13,"endTime":1970.74,"body":"one because I was like, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1968.13,"endTime":1970.74,"body":"know, I'm gonna go walk around"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1970.74,"endTime":1974.07,"body":"Macy's. And I was like, looking"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1970.74,"endTime":1974.07,"body":"through their super clearance,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1974.1,"endTime":1977.01,"body":"like Final sales stuff. And I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1974.1,"endTime":1977.01,"body":"was like, Ooh, this tie is $11"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1977.04,"endTime":1977.85,"body":"this is coming home."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1981.15,"endTime":1982.08,"body":"Like little things"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1983.88,"endTime":1986.13,"body":"I love that. I love that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1983.88,"endTime":1986.13,"body":"for you. I used to think, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1986.13,"endTime":1988.89,"body":"I'm going to be a tie guy. I was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1986.13,"endTime":1988.89,"body":"like, No, I hate ties because I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1988.89,"endTime":1989.37,"body":"hated them."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1990.51,"endTime":1991.29,"body":"Because I'm not a guy."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":1992.82,"endTime":1993.15,"body":"But"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1993.15,"endTime":1997.23,"body":"I have well over 50 ties"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1993.15,"endTime":1997.23,"body":"for sure."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1998.31,"endTime":2001.7,"body":"Oh, that's amazing. But I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":1998.31,"endTime":2001.7,"body":"love seeing our transmis friends"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2001.7,"endTime":2004.52,"body":"be like Oh, I just got the best"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2001.7,"endTime":2004.52,"body":"suit today. Let me show you what"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2004.52,"endTime":2007.16,"body":"it looks like I got a cool tie"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2004.52,"endTime":2007.16,"body":"or a bow tie or a new Hawaiian"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2007.16,"endTime":2011.09,"body":"shirt. That always brings me a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2007.16,"endTime":2011.09,"body":"lot of like joy in itself"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2011.09,"endTime":2014.45,"body":"because I'm like, Oh, look how"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2011.09,"endTime":2014.45,"body":"happy that that my sibling it is"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2014.45,"endTime":2017.9,"body":"over something that I hated."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2014.45,"endTime":2017.9,"body":"That's amazing. Wow. Then per"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2017.9,"endTime":2020.12,"body":"second. I'm like, that's really"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2017.9,"endTime":2020.12,"body":"cool. I should wear more of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2020.12,"endTime":2022.43,"body":"that. And I'm like, No, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2020.12,"endTime":2022.43,"body":"shouldn't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2023.63,"endTime":2026.6,"body":"because I'm so excited about how"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2023.63,"endTime":2026.6,"body":"excited you are. Right so"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2027.38,"endTime":2028.4,"body":"anyways, wow"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2028.4,"endTime":2031.1,"body":"you know if I see a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2028.4,"endTime":2031.1,"body":"cool tie to buy it so I can send"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2031.1,"endTime":2031.73,"body":"the Rylie"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2032.27,"endTime":2033.08,"body":"totally."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2034.13,"endTime":2036.38,"body":"Like I'm not gonna lie"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2034.13,"endTime":2036.38,"body":"like I really do have some"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2036.38,"endTime":2041.12,"body":"interesting ones like I have one"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2036.38,"endTime":2041.12,"body":"that is like a Halloween themed"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2041.12,"endTime":2045.2,"body":"Looney Tunes one and then I have"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2041.12,"endTime":2045.2,"body":"like one that has like a bunch"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2045.2,"endTime":2048.32,"body":"of globes on it. I have a crap"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2045.2,"endTime":2048.32,"body":"ton of different colored Paisley"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2048.32,"endTime":2052.37,"body":"ones like there's a chance you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2048.32,"endTime":2052.37,"body":"might get me a tie that I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2052.37,"endTime":2054.95,"body":"already have. But you know what?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2052.37,"endTime":2054.95,"body":"I would still love it anyway."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2055.55,"endTime":2059.39,"body":"Yeah, too. So I have"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2055.55,"endTime":2059.39,"body":"something a little similar it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2059.39,"endTime":2063.26,"body":"probably not as much as Israeli"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2059.39,"endTime":2063.26,"body":"but like fun. Socks. I have a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2063.26,"endTime":2068.03,"body":"lot of fun socks currently or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2063.26,"endTime":2068.03,"body":"have baby Yoda socks. Sorry."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2068.12,"endTime":2068.72,"body":"Grow goo"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2070.67,"endTime":2074.9,"body":"socks with the Mandalorian"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2070.67,"endTime":2074.9,"body":"autumn socks with the with Boba"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2074.9,"endTime":2077.93,"body":"Fett on them if you're catching"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2074.9,"endTime":2077.93,"body":"the theme of a big Star Wars"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2077.93,"endTime":2082.79,"body":"fan. But I also have like some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2077.93,"endTime":2082.79,"body":"really great winter socks that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2082.79,"endTime":2087.05,"body":"are blue and pink and have like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2082.79,"endTime":2087.05,"body":"ski little ski bunnies on them"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2087.05,"endTime":2090.35,"body":"because I you know I wear them"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2087.05,"endTime":2090.35,"body":"when I go skiing and and for me"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2090.35,"endTime":2093.23,"body":"just having like some fun little"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2090.35,"endTime":2093.23,"body":"socks like that always right"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2093.23,"endTime":2096.5,"body":"that my day I think. I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2093.23,"endTime":2096.5,"body":"outside of socks because I don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2096.5,"endTime":2099.41,"body":"wear it. I don't wear socks in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2096.5,"endTime":2099.41,"body":"the summer unless I'm literally"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2099.41,"endTime":2100.16,"body":"leaving the house."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2100.16,"endTime":2104.45,"body":"All right. So it's not really"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2100.16,"endTime":2104.45,"body":"helpful. But otherwise, I would"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2104.45,"endTime":2106.07,"body":"say, for me, it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2107.81,"endTime":2109.55,"body":"I think when I get to talk to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2111.05,"endTime":2113.39,"body":"someone from the community, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2111.05,"endTime":2113.39,"body":"know, when I get to connect with"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2113.39,"endTime":2118.91,"body":"like, you know, you rally or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2113.39,"endTime":2118.91,"body":"Vanessa or or, or Mel or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2120.17,"endTime":2124.64,"body":"Taryn, or Liam or even like Max,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2120.17,"endTime":2124.64,"body":"or just, you know, some people"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2124.64,"endTime":2126.8,"body":"I've gotten to know closely"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2124.64,"endTime":2126.8,"body":"through some of my own"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2126.8,"endTime":2129.83,"body":"connection connections that I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2126.8,"endTime":2129.83,"body":"check in on just like, talking"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2129.83,"endTime":2134.69,"body":"to another trans person really"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2129.83,"endTime":2134.69,"body":"lifts my mood. Even if we're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2134.69,"endTime":2137.66,"body":"talking about the state of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2134.69,"endTime":2137.66,"body":"affairs is like pets, someone"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2137.66,"endTime":2141.47,"body":"who understands me. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2137.66,"endTime":2141.47,"body":"someone that understands you."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2141.59,"endTime":2145.37,"body":"That's, that's, yeah, yeah."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2141.59,"endTime":2145.37,"body":"Because I mean, there's there I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2145.37,"endTime":2148.13,"body":"don't know how you feel about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2145.37,"endTime":2148.13,"body":"you guys feel about this. Like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2148.13,"endTime":2151.52,"body":"I love my friends that are"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2148.13,"endTime":2151.52,"body":"cisgendered. And I love all the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2151.52,"endTime":2153.62,"body":"allies that have met, but"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2151.52,"endTime":2153.62,"body":"there's just some things I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2153.62,"endTime":2157.61,"body":"like, Yes, I can talk to you,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2153.62,"endTime":2157.61,"body":"Joe, about the sort of trans"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2157.61,"endTime":2160.34,"body":"experience I'm having. But and I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2157.61,"endTime":2160.34,"body":"know you're totally accepting,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2160.34,"endTime":2163.76,"body":"but you don't. You don't like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2160.34,"endTime":2163.76,"body":"quite get it. You know, that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2163.76,"endTime":2165.68,"body":"sounds like I need to talk."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2163.76,"endTime":2165.68,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2166.99,"endTime":2168.49,"body":"It's yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2170.17,"endTime":2171.73,"body":"Yeah, how can they really?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2174.01,"endTime":2176.26,"body":"And it's not anything"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2174.01,"endTime":2176.26,"body":"because my partner, but it's the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2176.26,"endTime":2179.92,"body":"same thing with her right? Like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2176.26,"endTime":2179.92,"body":"I love her. And she absolutely"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2179.92,"endTime":2183.46,"body":"does everything in her power to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2179.92,"endTime":2183.46,"body":"understand but like, talking to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2183.46,"endTime":2186.94,"body":"you guys versus her on certain"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2183.46,"endTime":2186.94,"body":"things. Absolutely. Just has a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2186.94,"endTime":2188.47,"body":"different tone to it."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2189.52,"endTime":2194.05,"body":"Yeah, I do. I do tell my"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2189.52,"endTime":2194.05,"body":"wife, I mean, frankly, just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2194.05,"endTime":2196.93,"body":"about everything. And there's so"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2194.05,"endTime":2196.93,"body":"many places where it's so great"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2196.93,"endTime":2200.32,"body":"to talk to her we see eye to eye"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2196.93,"endTime":2200.32,"body":"or at least emotionally, we're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2200.32,"endTime":2202.3,"body":"on the same level. And we can"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2200.32,"endTime":2202.3,"body":"like really get each other"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2202.3,"endTime":2204.58,"body":"through some stuff. But yeah,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2202.3,"endTime":2204.58,"body":"there, there are some some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2204.58,"endTime":2207.61,"body":"aspects of being trans that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2204.58,"endTime":2207.61,"body":"she's aware of, but like being"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2207.61,"endTime":2210.85,"body":"like, I need to talk about this"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2207.61,"endTime":2210.85,"body":"thing. Just kind of need to get"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2210.85,"endTime":2213.49,"body":"at home thinking about it's not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2210.85,"endTime":2213.49,"body":"as easy with her as it would be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2213.49,"endTime":2216.73,"body":"with one of you. Yeah, but"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2213.49,"endTime":2216.73,"body":"because I know what she wants,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2216.73,"endTime":2218.95,"body":"she's watching this, she's still"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2216.73,"endTime":2218.95,"body":"my favorite person to talk to."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2220.63,"endTime":2221.23,"body":"Mine is."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2223.75,"endTime":2225.55,"body":"Like, I can talk shit"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2223.75,"endTime":2225.55,"body":"about mine, because I don't have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2225.55,"endTime":2225.76,"body":"one."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2226.83,"endTime":2228.09,"body":"But you right?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2228.3,"endTime":2230.97,"body":"Yeah, it is me, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2228.3,"endTime":2230.97,"body":"suppose. Okay."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2232.32,"endTime":2234.81,"body":"We've kind of, I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2232.32,"endTime":2234.81,"body":"kind of composted this a little"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2234.81,"endTime":2237.39,"body":"bit. But I did want to kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2234.81,"endTime":2237.39,"body":"want to hit this nail on the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2237.39,"endTime":2240.6,"body":"head. And that's like, Do you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2237.39,"endTime":2240.6,"body":"have a mental health routine or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2240.66,"endTime":2243.45,"body":"boundaries to try to protect"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2240.66,"endTime":2243.45,"body":"yourself? And I think it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2243.45,"endTime":2245.55,"body":"important to talk about where we"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2243.45,"endTime":2245.55,"body":"are, whether you have something"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2245.55,"endTime":2248.76,"body":"or you don't have something"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2245.55,"endTime":2248.76,"body":"because I'm a we should be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2248.76,"endTime":2251.46,"body":"talking about mental health"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2248.76,"endTime":2251.46,"body":"more, we should be normalizing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2251.46,"endTime":2256.98,"body":"that most people have some sort"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2251.46,"endTime":2256.98,"body":"of mental issue or health thing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2256.98,"endTime":2259.53,"body":"temporarily or long term in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2256.98,"endTime":2259.53,"body":"their lives, right, for one"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2259.53,"endTime":2262.8,"body":"reason or another. And I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2259.53,"endTime":2262.8,"body":"particularly, that's an issue in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2262.8,"endTime":2267.27,"body":"our granting, right? That's how"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2262.8,"endTime":2267.27,"body":"I think many of us experience"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2267.27,"endTime":2270.12,"body":"being trans and not being able"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2267.27,"endTime":2270.12,"body":"to do anything about it. Right?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2270.15,"endTime":2272.55,"body":"When we talk about this, this"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2270.15,"endTime":2272.55,"body":"association,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2274.26,"endTime":2276.33,"body":"some aspects of dysphoria. So,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2277.38,"endTime":2280.95,"body":"we'd love to know, like, how do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2277.38,"endTime":2280.95,"body":"you manage that part of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2280.95,"endTime":2283.05,"body":"yourself? And like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2280.95,"endTime":2283.05,"body":"what do you do to like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2283.05,"endTime":2285.78,"body":"seriously, make sure you're not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2283.05,"endTime":2285.78,"body":"going to the dark place."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2286.44,"endTime":2291.03,"body":"Like, for me, honestly, a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2286.44,"endTime":2291.03,"body":"big part of what I do is I make"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2291.03,"endTime":2294.66,"body":"sure that like I'm checking in"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2291.03,"endTime":2294.66,"body":"to make sure that I'm"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2296.1,"endTime":2298.53,"body":"taking the time for myself when"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2296.1,"endTime":2298.53,"body":"I need it."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2299.58,"endTime":2304.26,"body":"And not that it's easy to do."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2299.58,"endTime":2304.26,"body":"But sometimes that means having"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2304.26,"endTime":2309.09,"body":"to stop looking at the news for"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2304.26,"endTime":2309.09,"body":"like, a week. Like just Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2309.12,"endTime":2313.14,"body":"you know, ignorance is bliss,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2309.12,"endTime":2313.14,"body":"and sometimes too much of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2313.65,"endTime":2316.17,"body":"knowing of what's actually"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2313.65,"endTime":2316.17,"body":"happening, especially when, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2316.17,"endTime":2318.81,"body":"know, the next day, I could not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2316.17,"endTime":2318.81,"body":"have rights doing certain, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2318.81,"endTime":2321.6,"body":"know, certain aspects of my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2318.81,"endTime":2321.6,"body":"rights will be gone. You know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2321.6,"endTime":2325.23,"body":"I, I'll find out when I come"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2321.6,"endTime":2325.23,"body":"back to the news next Monday,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2325.56,"endTime":2329.22,"body":"sort of thing, you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2325.56,"endTime":2329.22,"body":"I'll get there, I'll catch up."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2329.22,"endTime":2332.64,"body":"But like, sometimes you just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2329.22,"endTime":2332.64,"body":"gotta like, let yourself be a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2332.64,"endTime":2335.76,"body":"little ignorant just to be able"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2332.64,"endTime":2335.76,"body":"to recover."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2336.84,"endTime":2339.93,"body":"Yeah, I love the idea of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2336.84,"endTime":2339.93,"body":"like a news break, or even a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2339.93,"endTime":2342.72,"body":"social media break, if that's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2339.93,"endTime":2342.72,"body":"how you get your news or just a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2342.72,"endTime":2346.56,"body":"break from social media. I go"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2342.72,"endTime":2346.56,"body":"through that to Rylie where I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2346.56,"endTime":2350.01,"body":"like, I just can't handle"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2346.56,"endTime":2350.01,"body":"hearing about another bad thing."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2350.01,"endTime":2352.26,"body":"I'm just gonna, like, even if"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2350.01,"endTime":2352.26,"body":"I'm on social media, I'm just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2352.26,"endTime":2358.05,"body":"gonna like right past that. For"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2352.26,"endTime":2358.05,"body":"me. I know that if I keep"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2358.05,"endTime":2360.3,"body":"staying in that cycle, it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2358.05,"endTime":2360.3,"body":"gonna get worse and worse and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2360.3,"endTime":2362.28,"body":"worse. I've learned that about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2360.3,"endTime":2362.28,"body":"myself. So I've been able to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2362.28,"endTime":2365.67,"body":"teach myself to be like, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2362.28,"endTime":2365.67,"body":"feel common? It's time to like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2365.67,"endTime":2366.45,"body":"take a break."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2368.94,"endTime":2372.15,"body":"Vanessa, do you ever do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2368.94,"endTime":2372.15,"body":"something like that in terms of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2372.15,"endTime":2375.0,"body":"like, I'm just not going to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2372.15,"endTime":2375.0,"body":"listen to some things right now?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2375.0,"endTime":2379.74,"body":"Or maybe don't do social media"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2375.0,"endTime":2379.74,"body":"like, what do you ever? Like?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2379.77,"endTime":2382.83,"body":"I've way too much of a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2379.77,"endTime":2382.83,"body":"social excuse me social media"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2382.83,"endTime":2388.23,"body":"addiction, and that's how I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2382.83,"endTime":2388.23,"body":"generate my business. But I just"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2389.16,"endTime":2392.79,"body":"got I step away and I can I have"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2389.16,"endTime":2392.79,"body":"a therapist, which"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2393.81,"endTime":2396.54,"body":"if you can afford a therapist,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2393.81,"endTime":2396.54,"body":"if you have the means of having"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2396.54,"endTime":2399.96,"body":"one that's good one. It's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2396.54,"endTime":2399.96,"body":"remarkably"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2399.96,"endTime":2404.79,"body":"I'm helpful just to have someone"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2399.96,"endTime":2404.79,"body":"that's not in your everyday life"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2404.79,"endTime":2406.62,"body":"to just bounce stuff off of."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2409.11,"endTime":2410.34,"body":"I mean, I,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2411.54,"endTime":2414.78,"body":"most of my stress honestly comes"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2411.54,"endTime":2414.78,"body":"from being a parent rather than"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2414.78,"endTime":2420.75,"body":"being the news and stuff like"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2414.78,"endTime":2420.75,"body":"that. So I will just, I'll leave"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2420.75,"endTime":2423.72,"body":"the room and just kind of sit"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2420.75,"endTime":2423.72,"body":"and just look out the window for"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2423.72,"endTime":2425.79,"body":"a while just to kind of. So."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2427.38,"endTime":2429.87,"body":"Yeah, parental stress is"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2427.38,"endTime":2429.87,"body":"no joke, man."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2431.22,"endTime":2435.12,"body":"And yeah, whatever you need to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2431.22,"endTime":2435.12,"body":"do to, like, once you your kid"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2435.12,"endTime":2437.46,"body":"is in a place where you can take"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2435.12,"endTime":2437.46,"body":"a break, and then you can take"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2437.46,"endTime":2440.07,"body":"her out. Look, I got a kid at"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2437.46,"endTime":2440.07,"body":"home. I've got adult kids been"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2440.07,"endTime":2442.86,"body":"there. Gotta look out for your"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2440.07,"endTime":2442.86,"body":"sock. You can't just give"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2442.86,"endTime":2447.84,"body":"everything in job. No, because"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2442.86,"endTime":2447.84,"body":"all it does is hurt the kid. So"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2447.87,"endTime":2451.44,"body":"yeah, if you can't help"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2447.87,"endTime":2451.44,"body":"yourself, you can't help others."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2453.3,"endTime":2457.53,"body":"Yep. Love to mirror back what"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2453.3,"endTime":2457.53,"body":"you said about the therapist. I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2457.53,"endTime":2461.61,"body":"know, not everybody can afford a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2457.53,"endTime":2461.61,"body":"therapist. Right? I, I've had"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2461.61,"endTime":2464.97,"body":"one, often on different ones for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2461.61,"endTime":2464.97,"body":"a long time. And they've helped"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2464.97,"endTime":2466.71,"body":"me through a lot of things"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2464.97,"endTime":2466.71,"body":"right."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2468.33,"endTime":2471.75,"body":"Now I have one that like, that's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2468.33,"endTime":2471.75,"body":"mine, because, you know, I need"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2471.75,"endTime":2474.9,"body":"her for various items. And as a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2471.75,"endTime":2474.9,"body":"trans person that I really like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2474.9,"endTime":2476.79,"body":"working with her. But I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2478.2,"endTime":2481.5,"body":"even if you don't have the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2478.2,"endTime":2481.5,"body":"income that allows you to do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2481.5,"endTime":2484.17,"body":"that regularly, right, or on"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2481.5,"endTime":2484.17,"body":"whatever cycle that works for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2484.17,"endTime":2488.49,"body":"you, you know, work your circle"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2484.17,"endTime":2488.49,"body":"of friends, right? I think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2488.52,"endTime":2491.19,"body":"Michelle Obama calls it her"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2488.52,"endTime":2491.19,"body":"kitchen table, all the girls"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2491.19,"endTime":2492.48,"body":"that come to our kitchen table."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2494.61,"endTime":2497.4,"body":"And, you know, I think Rylie was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2494.61,"endTime":2497.4,"body":"calling us out, like,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2498.96,"endTime":2501.57,"body":"you need to talk about it beyond"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2498.96,"endTime":2501.57,"body":"the person that maybe that it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2501.57,"endTime":2506.1,"body":"was with, right to get some"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2501.57,"endTime":2506.1,"body":"perspective. So try to find"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2506.1,"endTime":2508.95,"body":"people that you trust just to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2506.1,"endTime":2508.95,"body":"listen to you."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2510.33,"endTime":2512.94,"body":"Just so you can just start to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2510.33,"endTime":2512.94,"body":"get it out so that you can hear"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2512.94,"endTime":2515.49,"body":"like, Oh, this is the thing that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2512.94,"endTime":2515.49,"body":"I do. This is the thing that I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2515.49,"endTime":2518.67,"body":"always seem to be and what can I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2515.49,"endTime":2518.67,"body":"do about that? Or I'm not going"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2518.67,"endTime":2522.33,"body":"to continue to invest in energy"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2518.67,"endTime":2522.33,"body":"in that person. Right. You know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2522.33,"endTime":2526.17,"body":"so there's, there's a lot of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2522.33,"endTime":2526.17,"body":"ways that you can get there. But"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2526.17,"endTime":2528.12,"body":"it'd be great if you could have"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2526.17,"endTime":2528.12,"body":"a therapist, for sure."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2528.66,"endTime":2530.22,"body":"It is hard for a lot of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2528.66,"endTime":2530.22,"body":"people that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2531.57,"endTime":2535.02,"body":"mental health in this country."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2531.57,"endTime":2535.02,"body":"Like everyone's focused on Oh,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2535.02,"endTime":2537.36,"body":"you need mental health and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2535.02,"endTime":2537.36,"body":"mental health. But then it's so"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2537.36,"endTime":2541.29,"body":"hard to get and so expensive."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2537.36,"endTime":2541.29,"body":"Yeah. And I know turfs one of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2541.29,"endTime":2544.56,"body":"the most common things I get on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2541.29,"endTime":2544.56,"body":"the comments that I believe that"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2544.56,"endTime":2548.88,"body":"my like YouTube videos and stuff"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2544.56,"endTime":2548.88,"body":"is. Get help, sir. Get help. You"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2548.88,"endTime":2552.69,"body":"need help. Getting help. So, but"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2552.72,"endTime":2554.46,"body":"I'm following the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2552.72,"endTime":2554.46,"body":"recommended path."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2554.49,"endTime":2555.51,"body":"Yeah, exactly."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2555.51,"endTime":2559.98,"body":"Actual Serious therapists"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2555.51,"endTime":2559.98,"body":"and doctors think so. But yeah,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2559.98,"endTime":2564.78,"body":"it's, it's so it should be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2559.98,"endTime":2564.78,"body":"healthcare should should just be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2564.81,"endTime":2566.88,"body":"a human right? But whatever."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2568.29,"endTime":2568.86,"body":"Yes,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2569.91,"endTime":2570.96,"body":"I won't soapbox."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2573.45,"endTime":2575.58,"body":"All right. Let's think"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2573.45,"endTime":2575.58,"body":"about let's see if we can put"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2575.58,"endTime":2578.61,"body":"any couple tips that put on the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2575.58,"endTime":2578.61,"body":"table for people to think about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2578.61,"endTime":2583.71,"body":"in their lives. Like, I'm not a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2578.61,"endTime":2583.71,"body":"regular general journaler I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2583.71,"endTime":2587.13,"body":"write so much in my job for what"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2583.71,"endTime":2587.13,"body":"I have to do. And then if I'm"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2587.19,"endTime":2590.22,"body":"blogging or posting, I write a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2587.19,"endTime":2590.22,"body":"lot. So like, the last thing I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2590.22,"endTime":2591.87,"body":"want to sit down and do is"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2590.22,"endTime":2591.87,"body":"journal every day, because I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2591.87,"endTime":2594.99,"body":"feel like I've kind of poured"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2591.87,"endTime":2594.99,"body":"everything out, even if it's all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2594.99,"endTime":2595.89,"body":"business speak."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2598.14,"endTime":2601.14,"body":"But when I'm really stuck, like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2598.14,"endTime":2601.14,"body":"it's helped me just to kind of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2601.59,"endTime":2605.07,"body":"get that stuff, get that stuff"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2601.59,"endTime":2605.07,"body":"on paper, even if I just want it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2605.07,"endTime":2608.01,"body":"up and throw it away. Does it?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2605.07,"endTime":2608.01,"body":"Are you guys Journalers?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2608.31,"endTime":2611.85,"body":"Sadly, no. But I am going"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2608.31,"endTime":2611.85,"body":"to kind of piggyback off that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2611.85,"endTime":2614.97,"body":"idea. And for those who are not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2611.85,"endTime":2614.97,"body":"as maybe"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2616.56,"endTime":2619.68,"body":"writing oriented, you can do the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2616.56,"endTime":2619.68,"body":"same thing and just record a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2619.68,"endTime":2622.56,"body":"video on your phone even and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2619.68,"endTime":2622.56,"body":"just save like a daily journal"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2622.56,"endTime":2625.11,"body":"on your phone just talking to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2622.56,"endTime":2625.11,"body":"yourself."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2626.34,"endTime":2629.4,"body":"Honestly, I'm going to not say"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2626.34,"endTime":2629.4,"body":"that was an original idea, I'm"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2629.4,"endTime":2632.94,"body":"going to say and I stole that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2629.4,"endTime":2632.94,"body":"from Grayson Frankie thinking"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2632.94,"endTime":2637.17,"body":"about you know, Jane Fonda and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2632.94,"endTime":2637.17,"body":"Lily Tomlin in their"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2638.22,"endTime":2641.46,"body":"two different little roles. I've"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2638.22,"endTime":2641.46,"body":"seen them doing their little"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2641.88,"endTime":2645.18,"body":"characters there for that show"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2641.88,"endTime":2645.18,"body":"and how like Jane Fonda's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2645.18,"endTime":2648.27,"body":"character had like some, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2645.18,"endTime":2648.27,"body":"know, huge revelation while"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2648.27,"endTime":2651.06,"body":"doing it one time and it was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2648.27,"endTime":2651.06,"body":"just like those little things"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2651.06,"endTime":2653.19,"body":"kind of like stick with me and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2651.06,"endTime":2653.19,"body":"it's like, you know, maybe I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2653.22,"endTime":2654.27,"body":"should start doing that."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2655.11,"endTime":2658.38,"body":"Yeah, I love I love that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2655.11,"endTime":2658.38,"body":"idea. I have never thought of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2658.38,"endTime":2661.8,"body":"recording myself, but I do just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2658.38,"endTime":2661.8,"body":"like, go be by myself somewhere"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2661.8,"endTime":2662.97,"body":"and talk myself out loud."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2663.21,"endTime":2665.46,"body":"I don't journal either."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2663.21,"endTime":2665.46,"body":"I use Instagram."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2667.01,"endTime":2671.57,"body":"Like, when things should turn on"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2667.01,"endTime":2671.57,"body":"my head. Yeah, I I like having"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2671.57,"endTime":2675.44,"body":"my inner thoughts be very"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2671.57,"endTime":2675.44,"body":"public. So so when something"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2675.44,"endTime":2677.63,"body":"pops in my head, I'll pop a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2675.44,"endTime":2677.63,"body":"selfie and just type something"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2677.63,"endTime":2680.57,"body":"stupid in shooting out there."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2677.63,"endTime":2680.57,"body":"So."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2681.44,"endTime":2681.8,"body":"Okay,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2682.01,"endTime":2683.48,"body":"because maybe it'll"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2682.01,"endTime":2683.48,"body":"help someone else too."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2684.08,"endTime":2686.6,"body":"Yeah, love it. Just say"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2684.08,"endTime":2686.6,"body":"it. Put it out there. Right."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2688.52,"endTime":2692.99,"body":"Let's see what else what else do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2688.52,"endTime":2692.99,"body":"I do? I think the other thing I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2692.99,"endTime":2694.91,"body":"usually do I have a couple"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2692.99,"endTime":2694.91,"body":"things that I do around this. I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2694.91,"endTime":2700.16,"body":"really like being outside in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2694.91,"endTime":2700.16,"body":"nature. I'm not a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2700.16,"endTime":2703.58,"body":"I go camping hiking person"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2700.16,"endTime":2703.58,"body":"anymore. I was that for the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2703.58,"endTime":2706.91,"body":"first 25 years of my life I've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2703.58,"endTime":2706.91,"body":"done it 200 times I don't need"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2706.91,"endTime":2707.6,"body":"to go do it again."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2708.74,"endTime":2712.01,"body":"But I still love like, I stand"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2708.74,"endTime":2712.01,"body":"next to water can I stand next"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2712.01,"endTime":2716.39,"body":"to a tree or like I happen to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2712.01,"endTime":2716.39,"body":"have like lemon balm in my yard"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2716.39,"endTime":2720.44,"body":"as well as meant in rosemary,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2716.39,"endTime":2720.44,"body":"it's one of things I like to do,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2720.44,"endTime":2723.68,"body":"especially after like a really"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2720.44,"endTime":2723.68,"body":"stressful moment is go outside"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2723.68,"endTime":2727.46,"body":"and grab one of each and just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2723.68,"endTime":2727.46,"body":"like, you know, inhale it. But"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2727.46,"endTime":2730.88,"body":"even just like, I just need to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2727.46,"endTime":2730.88,"body":"go be in the sun. So that's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2730.88,"endTime":2733.25,"body":"that's the thing that works for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2730.88,"endTime":2733.25,"body":"me as well. Like, what's your"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2733.25,"endTime":2736.43,"body":"like? Do you have a place that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2733.25,"endTime":2736.43,"body":"you go to that feels like okay,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2737.96,"endTime":2740.3,"body":"this is helping for me, it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2737.96,"endTime":2740.3,"body":"something in nature,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2740.63,"endTime":2744.23,"body":"nature is definitely a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2740.63,"endTime":2744.23,"body":"good one. I used to do the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2744.23,"endTime":2748.79,"body":"hiking as well and things like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2744.23,"endTime":2748.79,"body":"that. Not as much so now I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2748.79,"endTime":2751.4,"body":"haven't really gotten an"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2748.79,"endTime":2751.4,"body":"opportunity to explore like the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2751.43,"endTime":2755.3,"body":"trails around the Cincinnati"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2751.43,"endTime":2755.3,"body":"area so much. You know, just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2755.3,"endTime":2759.68,"body":"live from work and everything."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2755.3,"endTime":2759.68,"body":"haven't had a chance to but you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2759.68,"endTime":2762.8,"body":"know, other than that, like, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2759.68,"endTime":2762.8,"body":"will sometimes just go sit in my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2762.8,"endTime":2765.77,"body":"backyard because I'd like a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2762.8,"endTime":2765.77,"body":"swing in my backyard and just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2765.77,"endTime":2769.52,"body":"sit on that sometimes it's nice."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2765.77,"endTime":2769.52,"body":"Even if there's you know, he's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2769.52,"endTime":2772.19,"body":"got a spring myself down with a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2769.52,"endTime":2772.19,"body":"lot of bug spray first, but"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2773.72,"endTime":2776.66,"body":"he lives just going to sit out"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2773.72,"endTime":2776.66,"body":"there just enjoy the sun and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2776.66,"endTime":2781.4,"body":"just fresh air even if it is"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2776.66,"endTime":2781.4,"body":"like suburban fresh air. It is"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2781.4,"endTime":2782.72,"body":"still fresh air."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2783.47,"endTime":2787.16,"body":"Yeah, I and I love a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2783.47,"endTime":2787.16,"body":"swing or a hammock. We don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2787.16,"endTime":2789.5,"body":"have one at our current house"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2787.16,"endTime":2789.5,"body":"because we don't really have the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2789.5,"endTime":2793.22,"body":"right like trees for it. They're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2789.5,"endTime":2793.22,"body":"all like way too tall. But I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2793.22,"endTime":2795.53,"body":"would love that used to be one"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2793.22,"endTime":2795.53,"body":"of my favorite things is like go"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2795.53,"endTime":2797.75,"body":"out and just had a rough"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2795.53,"endTime":2797.75,"body":"reading. Just go lay on the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2797.75,"endTime":2800.15,"body":"hammock and pretend like you're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2797.75,"endTime":2800.15,"body":"at the beach."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2800.48,"endTime":2804.02,"body":"I'm not an outdoors"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2800.48,"endTime":2804.02,"body":"girl. Unless the thunderstorms"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2804.02,"endTime":2807.05,"body":"coming in, then I'll sit and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2804.02,"endTime":2807.05,"body":"watch it. So if I need to get"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2807.05,"endTime":2810.17,"body":"them I just hop in the car and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2807.05,"endTime":2810.17,"body":"go get a slushie or something."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2811.34,"endTime":2814.94,"body":"Is it? Is it the act of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2811.34,"endTime":2814.94,"body":"driving? Or is it like go get a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2814.94,"endTime":2815.45,"body":"treat."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2816.32,"endTime":2818.0,"body":"It used to be the act"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2816.32,"endTime":2818.0,"body":"of driving back when I was"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2818.0,"endTime":2821.48,"body":"fueled by testosterone like I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2818.0,"endTime":2821.48,"body":"was, I was a car nut and"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2821.57,"endTime":2826.16,"body":"obnoxious car. And now it's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2821.57,"endTime":2826.16,"body":"mainly just to like I'll get the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2826.16,"endTime":2830.33,"body":"session and I'll just sit in a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2826.16,"endTime":2830.33,"body":"parking lot and just kind of"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2831.05,"endTime":2835.76,"body":"unwind so it's just some quiet"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2831.05,"endTime":2835.76,"body":"alone time with no one else."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2837.32,"endTime":2842.51,"body":"I like that one too. I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2837.32,"endTime":2842.51,"body":"don't like go somewhere as much"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2842.51,"endTime":2843.44,"body":"as I used to because"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2844.82,"endTime":2849.11,"body":"it's just really now aren't but"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2844.82,"endTime":2849.11,"body":"I am a very much like hey, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2849.11,"endTime":2854.09,"body":"need to not be around anybody."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2849.11,"endTime":2854.09,"body":"And my partner has learned this"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2854.12,"endTime":2857.66,"body":"over over our years together"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2854.12,"endTime":2857.66,"body":"like oh no Erica needs to be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2857.66,"endTime":2858.68,"body":"alone and I'm gonna leave"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2861.41,"endTime":2864.56,"body":"so that for me is a powerful and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2861.41,"endTime":2864.56,"body":"I'm like an extrovert and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2864.59,"endTime":2867.17,"body":"introvert. I love people I get a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2864.59,"endTime":2867.17,"body":"lot of energy off of them. But"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2867.17,"endTime":2868.4,"body":"then I need to like go sleep"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2869.69,"endTime":2873.65,"body":"afterwards. So like get I just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2869.69,"endTime":2873.65,"body":"need probably an hour a day of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2873.65,"endTime":2876.86,"body":"alone time even if it's in like"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2873.65,"endTime":2876.86,"body":"little bites. I did I do that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2876.86,"endTime":2878.72,"body":"place. Where are you are?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2879.35,"endTime":2882.95,"body":"Yeah. I'm very much the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2879.35,"endTime":2882.95,"body":"kind of person it was like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2883.07,"endTime":2885.35,"body":"honestly, it was kind of a joke"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2883.07,"endTime":2885.35,"body":"in college that my friends would"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2885.35,"endTime":2887.87,"body":"be like, oh Rylie's here. He'll"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2885.35,"endTime":2887.87,"body":"be here for about 30 minutes,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2887.87,"endTime":2888.71,"body":"and then he'll be gone."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2891.65,"endTime":2893.81,"body":"I can go a little longer"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2891.65,"endTime":2893.81,"body":"than 30 minutes. But I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2893.81,"endTime":2896.0,"body":"definitely get to that point"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2893.81,"endTime":2896.0,"body":"rally where like, I'm having a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2896.0,"endTime":2900.11,"body":"great time. Oh, no, now it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2896.0,"endTime":2900.11,"body":"time to go. You know, where"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2900.11,"endTime":2903.95,"body":"like, I just feel like I didn't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2900.11,"endTime":2903.95,"body":"doing well and I hit a wall. And"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2903.95,"endTime":2906.23,"body":"then that's when I start to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2903.95,"endTime":2906.23,"body":"disassociate and like, oh, it's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2906.23,"endTime":2910.79,"body":"time to go home. Yeah. If"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2906.23,"endTime":2910.79,"body":"there's more, if there's more"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2910.79,"endTime":2915.47,"body":"and more people there are just"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2910.79,"endTime":2915.47,"body":"like really noisy. That also was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2915.47,"endTime":2919.04,"body":"like, causes, like just the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2915.47,"endTime":2919.04,"body":"volume of all that is really, it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2919.04,"endTime":2923.54,"body":"seems really overwhelming for me"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2919.04,"endTime":2923.54,"body":"much quicker than and even if it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2923.54,"endTime":2925.34,"body":"was just 10 people."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2926.15,"endTime":2929.45,"body":"You know that that 30"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2926.15,"endTime":2929.45,"body":"minutes is in regards to like a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2929.45,"endTime":2930.35,"body":"big party."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2932.39,"endTime":2934.13,"body":"It's"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2932.39,"endTime":2934.13,"body":"like, oh, everybody's here."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2934.13,"endTime":2938.93,"body":"They're really drunk. Okay,"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2934.13,"endTime":2938.93,"body":"cool. Thanks. Nice to see"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2938.93,"endTime":2942.17,"body":"everybody. Wow, that's yeah."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2944.69,"endTime":2947.03,"body":"Are you are you like that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2944.69,"endTime":2947.03,"body":"at all? Are you more introvert"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2947.03,"endTime":2950.48,"body":"more extrovert? Do you need a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2947.03,"endTime":2950.48,"body":"break from people? Or is it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":2950.48,"endTime":2951.65,"body":"people like charges you up?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2952.1,"endTime":2955.58,"body":"I am extremely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2952.1,"endTime":2955.58,"body":"introverted. If you do the whole"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2955.58,"endTime":2958.19,"body":"Myers Briggs thing, which some"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2955.58,"endTime":2958.19,"body":"people think is legit. Some"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2958.19,"endTime":2960.41,"body":"people think it's bullshit. I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2958.19,"endTime":2960.41,"body":"don't really care, but I'm an"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2960.41,"endTime":2961.19,"body":"INFJ."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2963.08,"endTime":2966.89,"body":"And I'm very introverted. But I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2963.08,"endTime":2966.89,"body":"can be extroverted when I need"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2966.89,"endTime":2972.68,"body":"to be sorry. I'm a co host of a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2966.89,"endTime":2972.68,"body":"podcast. But doing that's very"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2972.68,"endTime":2976.79,"body":"draining. I hate being around"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2972.68,"endTime":2976.79,"body":"large groups of people. It's"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2976.79,"endTime":2979.46,"body":"probably a lot of it's the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2976.79,"endTime":2979.46,"body":"autism talking to but I cannot"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2979.46,"endTime":2984.08,"body":"go to concerts. I cannot go to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2979.46,"endTime":2984.08,"body":"the sports venues nothing."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2985.85,"endTime":2988.37,"body":"And like I could never go to New"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2985.85,"endTime":2988.37,"body":"York City. I know that I would"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":2988.37,"endTime":2989.3,"body":"just losing my mind."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2990.32,"endTime":2993.2,"body":"So next"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":2990.32,"endTime":2993.2,"body":"month, Rylie"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2994.37,"endTime":2998.72,"body":"In fairness, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2994.37,"endTime":2998.72,"body":"for a Sam Smith concert. See"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2999.29,"endTime":2999.86,"body":"that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2999.86,"endTime":3004.6,"body":"Lovely non binary person in"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":2999.86,"endTime":3004.6,"body":"concert and I am just so excited"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3004.63,"endTime":3006.7,"body":"worth it worth it. Yes."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3007.81,"endTime":3010.9,"body":"But you are not New York"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3007.81,"endTime":3010.9,"body":"just kind of buzzes all the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3010.9,"endTime":3015.13,"body":"time, which is that? I don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3010.9,"endTime":3015.13,"body":"like the city, that city period"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3015.13,"endTime":3017.77,"body":"at all. I think it's probably"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3015.13,"endTime":3017.77,"body":"just that level of like always"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3017.8,"endTime":3020.23,"body":"something Vanessa, is that what"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3017.8,"endTime":3020.23,"body":"you're talking about being"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3020.23,"endTime":3020.77,"body":"worried about?"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3021.94,"endTime":3024.07,"body":"Get constant noise,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3021.94,"endTime":3024.07,"body":"constant stimulation, and then"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3024.07,"endTime":3026.77,"body":"just when there's just too many"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3024.07,"endTime":3026.77,"body":"people, like, I know, I couldn't"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3026.77,"endTime":3028.36,"body":"handle just walking down the"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3026.77,"endTime":3028.36,"body":"street in New York, just too"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3028.36,"endTime":3028.99,"body":"many people."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3030.01,"endTime":3036.13,"body":"I would just lose it. Like, I, I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3030.01,"endTime":3036.13,"body":"can't handle being around more"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3036.13,"endTime":3036.52,"body":"than"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3037.69,"endTime":3040.42,"body":"as Rylie said, like 10 people at"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3037.69,"endTime":3040.42,"body":"a time. So."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3041.5,"endTime":3042.91,"body":"Okay, I just get exhausted."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3043.35,"endTime":3045.54,"body":"Still a good tip, though,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3043.35,"endTime":3045.54,"body":"for our listeners, when you're"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3045.54,"endTime":3047.79,"body":"having a rough time, we need to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3045.54,"endTime":3047.79,"body":"start moving yourself out of"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3047.79,"endTime":3052.5,"body":"that. Like, what? What charges"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3047.79,"endTime":3052.5,"body":"you up? Is it being alone? Is it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3052.5,"endTime":3056.91,"body":"getting under the covers? Is it?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3052.5,"endTime":3056.91,"body":"Is it sleeping? Is it finding"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3056.91,"endTime":3059.64,"body":"someone to talk to? Or is it"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3056.91,"endTime":3059.64,"body":"being around people? Maybe"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3059.64,"endTime":3062.88,"body":"you're the type person that was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3059.64,"endTime":3062.88,"body":"like, if I could just go walk in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3062.88,"endTime":3067.11,"body":"the city of New York, I would"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3062.88,"endTime":3067.11,"body":"feel whatever that person is out"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3067.11,"endTime":3067.86,"body":"there, right?"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3069.57,"endTime":3073.193,"body":"So figure out what you need, you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3069.57,"endTime":3073.193,"body":"know, do those things that help"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3073.25,"endTime":3076.704,"body":"you kind of get into the right"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3073.25,"endTime":3076.704,"body":"place, whether it's, you know,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3076.761,"endTime":3080.102,"body":"you go to nature, you play a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3076.761,"endTime":3080.102,"body":"game, you zone out or you zone"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3080.158,"endTime":3083.386,"body":"in or you're around people or"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3080.158,"endTime":3083.386,"body":"you're not around people, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3083.442,"endTime":3086.613,"body":"think knowing that you're in"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3083.442,"endTime":3086.613,"body":"that place of, hey, I'm not"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3086.67,"endTime":3090.181,"body":"doing well. And I need to find"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3086.67,"endTime":3090.181,"body":"ways to manage that. While I've"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3090.237,"endTime":3093.635,"body":"sorted out why I'm not doing"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3090.237,"endTime":3093.635,"body":"well, right? Because at the end"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3093.691,"endTime":3097.032,"body":"of the day, I'm hopeful that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3093.691,"endTime":3097.032,"body":"most people have. It's not all"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3097.089,"endTime":3100.486,"body":"bad all the time, especially for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3097.089,"endTime":3100.486,"body":"our trans somethings right."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3100.543,"endTime":3104.054,"body":"There are definitely difficult"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3100.543,"endTime":3104.054,"body":"moments but hoping that through"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3104.11,"endTime":3107.394,"body":"this little mini series within"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3104.11,"endTime":3107.394,"body":"our episode or podcast that"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3107.451,"endTime":3110.565,"body":"you're finding, like, I"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3107.451,"endTime":3110.565,"body":"shouldn't be looking for things"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3110.622,"endTime":3113.85,"body":"that make me happy too. I can't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3110.622,"endTime":3113.85,"body":"just be mad all the time."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3113.85,"endTime":3114.75,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3114.75,"endTime":3117.841,"body":"And doing that isn't a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3114.75,"endTime":3117.841,"body":"denial of being upset about"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3117.903,"endTime":3121.365,"body":"something or needing to have"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3117.903,"endTime":3121.365,"body":"something change? It's also"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3121.427,"endTime":3124.89,"body":"saying, but I also have to take"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3121.427,"endTime":3124.89,"body":"care of my my own brain."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3124.89,"endTime":3127.44,"body":"Yeah, you do. It's your"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3128.67,"endTime":3131.13,"body":"your mental health is"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3132.24,"endTime":3135.03,"body":"your most important asset,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3132.24,"endTime":3135.03,"body":"really."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3136.14,"endTime":3140.67,"body":"Because everything revolves"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3136.14,"endTime":3140.67,"body":"around that. If you're not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3140.67,"endTime":3143.73,"body":"healthy, if you're not"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3140.67,"endTime":3143.73,"body":"comfortable. Everything else"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3143.73,"endTime":3147.15,"body":"falls down around it. So I"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3143.73,"endTime":3147.15,"body":"always I always tell people"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3148.56,"endTime":3152.04,"body":"it's selfish as it sounds."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3148.56,"endTime":3152.04,"body":"Always put yourself first"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3152.07,"endTime":3156.24,"body":"because if you can't do that,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3152.07,"endTime":3156.24,"body":"then you can't help others."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3157.59,"endTime":3161.58,"body":"Yeah, totally. Put your"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3157.59,"endTime":3161.58,"body":"oxygen oxygen mask on first,"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3161.58,"endTime":3165.06,"body":"kiddos. Yeah, exactly. That's"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3161.58,"endTime":3165.06,"body":"the best way to put it. Exactly."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3165.84,"endTime":3169.2,"body":"All right. Well, that is pretty"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3165.84,"endTime":3169.2,"body":"much I think our episode for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3169.23,"endTime":3172.02,"body":"this evening. Any parting"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3169.23,"endTime":3172.02,"body":"thoughts? You'd like to leave"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3172.02,"endTime":3177.72,"body":"this with Rylie or but don't do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3172.02,"endTime":3177.72,"body":"drugs? Unless you? No, no, don't"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3177.72,"endTime":3178.8,"body":"use that. Don't use that."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3180.63,"endTime":3183.12,"body":"Do take your meds did you take?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3183.12,"endTime":3185.94,"body":"Yeah, take your medicine"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3183.12,"endTime":3185.94,"body":"now. Unless they're prescribed?"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":3185.94,"endTime":3188.416,"body":"Have you"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":3185.94,"endTime":3188.416,"body":"heard medicine? prescribed"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":3188.487,"endTime":3192.661,"body":"drugs? And hydrated? Yeah. And"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":3188.487,"endTime":3192.661,"body":"if you need to have a gummy,"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":3192.732,"endTime":3197.19,"body":"that's all right. Yes. gummies"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":3192.732,"endTime":3197.19,"body":"are good. Gummies are very good."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3198.48,"endTime":3201.636,"body":"All right. So I think the"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3198.48,"endTime":3201.636,"body":"message is, do what you need to"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3201.692,"endTime":3205.126,"body":"do to take care of yourself and"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3201.692,"endTime":3205.126,"body":"then find people to help. Even"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3205.181,"endTime":3208.56,"body":"if it's just your friend down"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3205.181,"endTime":3208.56,"body":"the street, you can talk to for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3208.615,"endTime":3211.938,"body":"30 minutes. And then looking"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3208.615,"endTime":3211.938,"body":"look for those places where you"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3211.993,"endTime":3215.372,"body":"can grab a little joy, grab a"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3211.993,"endTime":3215.372,"body":"little euphoria to kind of keep"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3215.427,"endTime":3218.473,"body":"picking up the mood because as"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3215.427,"endTime":3218.473,"body":"you come to maybe a more"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3218.529,"endTime":3221.63,"body":"normalized place, the better"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3218.529,"endTime":3221.63,"body":"you'll be able to deal with"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3221.686,"endTime":3223.68,"body":"what's going on and move through"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3221.686,"endTime":3223.68,"body":"it."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3223.68,"endTime":3224.79,"body":"Yeah, stay healthy."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3226.23,"endTime":3232.02,"body":"And never be afraid to reach out"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3226.23,"endTime":3232.02,"body":"to people though. And like,"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3232.02,"endTime":3233.01,"body":"comment, subscribe."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3234.81,"endTime":3235.38,"body":"Yes."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3237.18,"endTime":3240.16,"body":"And comment. We all actually Do"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3237.18,"endTime":3240.16,"body":"want to talk to you don't be"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3240.209,"endTime":3241.65,"body":"afraid to approach us online."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3241.65,"endTime":3243.24,"body":"Yeah, no, definitely"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3241.65,"endTime":3243.24,"body":"don't be."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3244.26,"endTime":3248.376,"body":"And I mean, we're easy to get a"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3244.26,"endTime":3248.376,"body":"hold of to, especially through"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3248.443,"endTime":3249.24,"body":"the website."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3249.24,"endTime":3250.35,"body":"We're not hiding."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3250.35,"endTime":3252.06,"body":"No, we do respond."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3253.35,"endTime":3256.433,"body":"Unless you're creepy. If"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3253.35,"endTime":3256.433,"body":"someone's creepy, they just get"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3256.488,"endTime":3258.03,"body":"blocked. So don't be creepy."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3258.03,"endTime":3258.54,"body":"Yeah."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3258.54,"endTime":3259.83,"body":"No chasers."},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3259.83,"endTime":3262.708,"body":"Instant block. Yeah. All"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3259.83,"endTime":3262.708,"body":"right, everybody. Well, it was"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3262.76,"endTime":3265.744,"body":"great talking to you again"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3262.76,"endTime":3265.744,"body":"tonight. See you next time for"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3265.796,"endTime":3269.041,"body":"episode 16. I'm not sure what"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3265.796,"endTime":3269.041,"body":"we're doing, Vanessa, but I hope"},{"speaker":"Erica","startTime":3269.093,"endTime":3269.46,"body":"you do."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3270.81,"endTime":3273.54,"body":"I don't either to tell"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3270.81,"endTime":3273.54,"body":"you that. Okay. We still have to"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3273.54,"endTime":3276.45,"body":"figure that out. Yeah. So it"},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3273.54,"endTime":3276.45,"body":"will be a surprise."},{"speaker":"Vanessa","startTime":3277.47,"endTime":3278.16,"body":"Bye, everyone."}]}