{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":9.809,"endTime":11.699,"body":"Getting the last little"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":9.809,"endTime":11.699,"body":"jitters out?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":11.99,"endTime":18.92,"body":"Yeah, yeah, shake it out."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":11.99,"endTime":18.92,"body":"This is my first time hosting."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":19.43,"endTime":23.27,"body":"So, Rylie I was I was on an"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":19.43,"endTime":23.27,"body":"episode with you and your first"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":23.27,"endTime":29.45,"body":"time hosting. So yeah. Yeah, so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":23.27,"endTime":29.45,"body":"this is exciting stuff. And we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":29.45,"endTime":34.91,"body":"have a great episode in store."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":29.45,"endTime":34.91,"body":"This is episode 17 An"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":34.91,"endTime":39.56,"body":"Introduction to gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":34.91,"endTime":39.56,"body":"parenting. And I'm your host,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":39.56,"endTime":45.05,"body":"Jess, my pronouns are they them."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":39.56,"endTime":45.05,"body":"And I am stoked to introduce"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":45.05,"endTime":48.23,"body":"today's special guests. You will"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":45.05,"endTime":48.23,"body":"all but before I do that, let me"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":48.23,"endTime":51.47,"body":"pass the mic to Rylie to say"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":48.23,"endTime":51.47,"body":"hello."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":52.71,"endTime":54.06,"body":"How's it going?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":52.71,"endTime":54.06,"body":"Everybody?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":54.659,"endTime":58.469,"body":"Iris, and I asked Iris to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":54.659,"endTime":58.469,"body":"be a guest on today's episode,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":58.469,"endTime":64.319,"body":"because we are both queer and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":58.469,"endTime":64.319,"body":"non binary parents who do gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":64.319,"endTime":67.859,"body":"creative parenting. And I want"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":64.319,"endTime":67.859,"body":"to give us the chance to talk"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":67.859,"endTime":72.059,"body":"about it here. And kind of just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":67.859,"endTime":72.059,"body":"get into it a little bit"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":72.059,"endTime":74.939,"body":"tonight. But before we jump in,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":72.059,"endTime":74.939,"body":"I was Could you start by"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":74.939,"endTime":77.489,"body":"introducing yourself just your"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":74.939,"endTime":77.489,"body":"name, your pronouns and anything"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":77.489,"endTime":79.979,"body":"else that you're willing to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":77.489,"endTime":79.979,"body":"share? Off the bat?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":80.55,"endTime":83.88,"body":"Yeah, of course. So thanks"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":80.55,"endTime":83.88,"body":"again for having me here today."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":83.91,"endTime":86.94,"body":"I'm really stoked to be part of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":83.91,"endTime":86.94,"body":"this. Like you already"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":86.94,"endTime":91.29,"body":"mentioned, my name is Iris. I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":86.94,"endTime":91.29,"body":"use all pronouns. Recently, I'm"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":91.32,"endTime":94.2,"body":"just leaning a little bit more"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":91.32,"endTime":94.2,"body":"toward people just calling me by"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":94.2,"endTime":99.39,"body":"my name. I live in the DMV area,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":94.2,"endTime":99.39,"body":"which probably doesn't make"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":99.39,"endTime":105.75,"body":"sense to people who don't live"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":99.39,"endTime":105.75,"body":"in DC, Maryland, Virginia. So I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":105.75,"endTime":110.31,"body":"live here with my partner Tori,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":105.75,"endTime":110.31,"body":"they them pronouns and our child"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":110.31,"endTime":113.64,"body":"Troyer, they them pronouns as"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":110.31,"endTime":113.64,"body":"well. So, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":113.67,"endTime":117.99,"body":"that's me. Awesome. Great."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":113.67,"endTime":117.99,"body":"We're so so happy to have you."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":119.4,"endTime":122.43,"body":"And what I thought we could"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":119.4,"endTime":122.43,"body":"start with tonight. And before"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":122.43,"endTime":126.09,"body":"we really jump into talking"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":122.43,"endTime":126.09,"body":"about what gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":126.09,"endTime":130.11,"body":"parenting looks like, for each"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":126.09,"endTime":130.11,"body":"of us, and sure, we have some"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":130.11,"endTime":132.3,"body":"similarities, and I'm sure we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":130.11,"endTime":132.3,"body":"also have some differences,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":132.66,"endTime":136.53,"body":"because it's different for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":132.66,"endTime":136.53,"body":"everyone. I wanted to start by"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":136.53,"endTime":140.7,"body":"just asking you, Iris, where did"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":136.53,"endTime":140.7,"body":"you like, where did you hear"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":140.7,"endTime":145.77,"body":"about gender creative parenting?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":140.7,"endTime":145.77,"body":"And what how'd you decide? I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":145.77,"endTime":148.59,"body":"guess you and Tory decide that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":145.77,"endTime":148.59,"body":"it was right for your family and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":148.59,"endTime":149.37,"body":"for your kid?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":150.24,"endTime":152.97,"body":"Yeah, a great question."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":150.24,"endTime":152.97,"body":"Because it was actually pretty"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":152.97,"endTime":157.44,"body":"recent, too. So in 2020, like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":152.97,"endTime":157.44,"body":"everyone else was, I was going"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":157.44,"endTime":163.92,"body":"through my little journey of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":157.44,"endTime":163.92,"body":"exploring my gender and who I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":163.92,"endTime":169.32,"body":"was and where I landed. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":163.92,"endTime":169.32,"body":"was, at the time living in not"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":169.32,"endTime":173.37,"body":"quite the Deep South, but almost"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":169.32,"endTime":173.37,"body":"there. And so this is so crazy"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":173.37,"endTime":177.42,"body":"that I happened to go into a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":173.37,"endTime":177.42,"body":"bookstore and find Kyle Meyer's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":177.42,"endTime":180.99,"body":"book, raising them. And I was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":177.42,"endTime":180.99,"body":"like, Okay, this book that's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":180.99,"endTime":185.58,"body":"really cool, and really random"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":180.99,"endTime":185.58,"body":"to find here. So I picked it up,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":185.61,"endTime":188.67,"body":"I took it home, I started"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":185.61,"endTime":188.67,"body":"reading it, I couldn't put it"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":188.67,"endTime":191.1,"body":"down, I think I read it, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":188.67,"endTime":191.1,"body":"probably stayed up until like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":191.1,"endTime":196.17,"body":"two or 3am that night and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":191.1,"endTime":196.17,"body":"finished it. And I the next day,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":196.2,"endTime":201.54,"body":"I looked at Tori and I said you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":196.2,"endTime":201.54,"body":"have to read this. I feel like I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":201.54,"endTime":206.55,"body":"need to read it again, I need to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":201.54,"endTime":206.55,"body":"know more. And I spent the next"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":206.82,"endTime":211.53,"body":"probably several days to a week"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":206.82,"endTime":211.53,"body":"exploring everything out there."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":211.53,"endTime":215.16,"body":"And all I knew was what Kyle"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":211.53,"endTime":215.16,"body":"had. So on their website, all of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":215.16,"endTime":217.77,"body":"the resources, I was like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":215.16,"endTime":217.77,"body":"searching hashtags, or under"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":217.77,"endTime":222.15,"body":"Creative parenting on every"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":217.77,"endTime":222.15,"body":"social media. And Tory kept"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":222.15,"endTime":225.69,"body":"saying, I can't read that,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":222.15,"endTime":225.69,"body":"because I know I'm gonna want to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":225.69,"endTime":231.36,"body":"do it. And that seems really"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":225.69,"endTime":231.36,"body":"hard. So it took a little bit to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":231.36,"endTime":235.68,"body":"convince them to get there. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":231.36,"endTime":235.68,"body":"just like with me, as soon as"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":235.68,"endTime":239.07,"body":"they picked it up, couldn't put"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":235.68,"endTime":239.07,"body":"it down. And when they finished,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":239.07,"endTime":242.31,"body":"it just looked at me and said,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":239.07,"endTime":242.31,"body":"Okay, you are right. This is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":242.31,"endTime":245.76,"body":"what we need to do. And we had"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":242.31,"endTime":245.76,"body":"just started family planning at"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":245.76,"endTime":251.07,"body":"that point, which for us just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":245.76,"endTime":251.07,"body":"looked like figuring out how we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":251.07,"endTime":254.73,"body":"were going to have a baby where"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":251.07,"endTime":254.73,"body":"we wanted to have a baby, we had"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":254.73,"endTime":257.64,"body":"met with an attorney and all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":254.73,"endTime":257.64,"body":"that. And we knew we couldn't"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":257.64,"endTime":262.77,"body":"live where we were living if we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":257.64,"endTime":262.77,"body":"wanted to be queer parents, and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":262.77,"endTime":266.61,"body":"also gentle, creative parents."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":262.77,"endTime":266.61,"body":"So we packed up and moved back"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":266.61,"endTime":272.58,"body":"to the hometown I grew up in and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":266.61,"endTime":272.58,"body":"had the baby and went from"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":272.58,"endTime":276.81,"body":"there. That's my long winded"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":272.58,"endTime":276.81,"body":"answer to your short question."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":276.84,"endTime":277.56,"body":"But yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":277.83,"endTime":281.67,"body":"no, that's That's perfect."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":277.83,"endTime":281.67,"body":"That's perfect. And how old is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":281.67,"endTime":282.6,"body":"Troyer now?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":283.11,"endTime":287.28,"body":"Just turn one. Yeah, like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":283.11,"endTime":287.28,"body":"a month, okay. 13 months, if I'm"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":287.28,"endTime":290.97,"body":"gonna be one of those parents,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":287.28,"endTime":290.97,"body":"you know, that's like 52 months"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":290.97,"endTime":293.64,"body":"now. But yeah, 30 months."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":294.09,"endTime":297.858,"body":"Great. That's awesome."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":294.09,"endTime":297.858,"body":"Yeah, it's months for a while."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":297.929,"endTime":302.124,"body":"So yeah, Nice. That's That's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":297.929,"endTime":302.124,"body":"great. That's so cool that you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":302.195,"endTime":306.389,"body":"just like happen to see Carl"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":302.195,"endTime":306.389,"body":"Myers, his book and oh my god."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":306.461,"endTime":310.3,"body":"That's that's such an"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":306.461,"endTime":310.3,"body":"interesting way of finding this."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":310.371,"endTime":314.495,"body":"I actually just recently read"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":310.371,"endTime":314.495,"body":"that book. And in fact, that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":314.566,"endTime":318.903,"body":"book is on our, like, it's a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":314.566,"endTime":318.903,"body":"suggested book for our book club"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":318.974,"endTime":323.453,"body":"here. Oh, so yeah, so there we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":318.974,"endTime":323.453,"body":"may be in the future and teasing"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":323.524,"endTime":328.003,"body":"this a little bit, we might even"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":323.524,"endTime":328.003,"body":"dive into that specific book a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":328.074,"endTime":332.056,"body":"little bit more. I read it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":328.074,"endTime":332.056,"body":"within the last year as well,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":332.127,"endTime":336.322,"body":"actually. So it's still fresh"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":332.127,"endTime":336.322,"body":"for you. It's still fresh for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":336.393,"endTime":340.801,"body":"me. Yeah, I had read. I had read"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":336.393,"endTime":340.801,"body":"a lot of stuff on Kyle's site"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":340.872,"endTime":345.28,"body":"before I read the book. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":340.872,"endTime":345.28,"body":"um, so my, my story, my intro to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":345.351,"endTime":349.688,"body":"gender creative parenting, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":345.351,"endTime":349.688,"body":"knew that we like, we knew that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":349.759,"endTime":353.456,"body":"we didn't want to follow the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":349.759,"endTime":353.456,"body":"typical binary gendered"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":353.527,"endTime":357.438,"body":"parenting, like, before, before"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":353.527,"endTime":357.438,"body":"we had a kid. Um, but I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":357.509,"endTime":362.13,"body":"definitely did not have the term"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":357.509,"endTime":362.13,"body":"of gender creative parenting, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":362.201,"endTime":366.538,"body":"decided, when my Well we decided"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":362.201,"endTime":366.538,"body":"during the pregnancy that we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":366.609,"endTime":371.018,"body":"were not going to find out the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":366.609,"endTime":371.018,"body":"assumed sex of our child. So we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":371.089,"endTime":375.426,"body":"kind of bought ourselves, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":371.089,"endTime":375.426,"body":"know, a bit of time anyway. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":375.497,"endTime":379.62,"body":"that helped us not receive"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":375.497,"endTime":379.62,"body":"gendered gifts before the birth"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":379.691,"endTime":384.171,"body":"and all of that, because no one"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":379.691,"endTime":384.171,"body":"knew. And, but when our kid was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":384.242,"endTime":388.081,"body":"born, we did announce their"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":384.242,"endTime":388.081,"body":"assigned sex or sorry, his"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":388.152,"endTime":392.56,"body":"assigned sex, and, and so we, it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":388.152,"endTime":392.56,"body":"was interesting, because even"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":392.631,"endTime":396.897,"body":"though we had actually like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":392.631,"endTime":396.897,"body":"talk to our friends and family,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":396.968,"endTime":401.376,"body":"even though we didn't have the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":396.968,"endTime":401.376,"body":"term gender creative parenting,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":401.447,"endTime":405.5,"body":"we had, let them know, like, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":401.447,"endTime":405.5,"body":"don't want a lot of super"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":405.571,"endTime":410.05,"body":"gendered stuff, you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":405.571,"endTime":410.05,"body":"buy whatever color buy whatever"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":410.121,"endTime":414.032,"body":"thing you know, but it was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":410.121,"endTime":414.032,"body":"pretty evident, like, really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":414.103,"endTime":418.369,"body":"quickly, I was feeling pretty"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":414.103,"endTime":418.369,"body":"overwhelmed with the amount of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":418.44,"endTime":422.421,"body":"gendered stuff that we got, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":418.44,"endTime":422.421,"body":"mean, just like, the hyper"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":422.492,"endTime":426.687,"body":"gendered stuff that we got. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":422.492,"endTime":426.687,"body":"I felt like even more than,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":426.758,"endTime":430.811,"body":"like, the stuff, it was also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":426.758,"endTime":430.811,"body":"kind of like this. It's like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":430.882,"endTime":435.432,"body":"social cues, or, you know, kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":430.882,"endTime":435.432,"body":"of the different pressure in all"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":435.503,"endTime":439.84,"body":"different ways, whether it was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":435.503,"endTime":439.84,"body":"overt or subtle, that was this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":439.911,"endTime":444.462,"body":"very kind of, you know, you are"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":439.911,"endTime":444.462,"body":"going to lead your kid down this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":444.533,"endTime":448.657,"body":"path, right. And, and, and I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":444.533,"endTime":448.657,"body":"really had an issue with that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":448.728,"endTime":453.136,"body":"kind of right away. So our kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":448.728,"endTime":453.136,"body":"was only a few months old, when"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":453.207,"endTime":457.473,"body":"I started talking, my wife and I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":453.207,"endTime":457.473,"body":"started talking about it in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":457.544,"endTime":461.952,"body":"detail. And we started talking"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":457.544,"endTime":461.952,"body":"about it with a couple of close"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":462.023,"endTime":466.147,"body":"friends. And, for me, what it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":462.023,"endTime":466.147,"body":"really kept revolving around"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":466.218,"endTime":470.341,"body":"was, I kept coming to this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":466.218,"endTime":470.341,"body":"question of, like, why should I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":470.412,"endTime":474.323,"body":"really assume that my child is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":470.412,"endTime":474.323,"body":"sis, like, like, really?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":474.394,"endTime":478.873,"body":"Honestly, why? Why should I do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":474.394,"endTime":478.873,"body":"that? Why do people do that, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":478.944,"endTime":482.997,"body":"what I really felt was at the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":478.944,"endTime":482.997,"body":"bottom of it was ultimately"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":483.068,"endTime":487.476,"body":"like, transphobia. Um, and, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":483.068,"endTime":487.476,"body":"beyond just transphobia, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":487.547,"endTime":491.884,"body":"the, the push of cisgender as"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":487.547,"endTime":491.884,"body":"normal. And so I, like, at some"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":491.955,"endTime":496.292,"body":"point was Googling, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":491.955,"endTime":496.292,"body":"and came across gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":496.363,"endTime":500.842,"body":"parenting, and it was really, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":496.363,"endTime":500.842,"body":"was like, wow, this is a thing."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":500.914,"endTime":505.25,"body":"Like, I'm not the first person"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":500.914,"endTime":505.25,"body":"who's, you know, like, thought"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":505.322,"endTime":509.659,"body":"of this and, and, of course,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":505.322,"endTime":509.659,"body":"like, some of the things that we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":509.73,"endTime":514.209,"body":"do that I'm sure you know, we'll"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":509.73,"endTime":514.209,"body":"get into in just a little bit."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":514.28,"endTime":518.19,"body":"Like, some of them a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":514.28,"endTime":518.19,"body":"parents do. They just don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":518.261,"endTime":522.741,"body":"really want to play that hyper"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":518.261,"endTime":522.741,"body":"gender game or whatnot with your"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":522.812,"endTime":527.006,"body":"kids. But, but to me, it was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":522.812,"endTime":527.006,"body":"also like, you know, just with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":527.078,"endTime":530.775,"body":"my, like, my own gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":527.078,"endTime":530.775,"body":"identity, like I really felt"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":530.846,"endTime":535.396,"body":"that I I wanted to give my kid a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":530.846,"endTime":535.396,"body":"clean slate, I wanted my kid to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":535.467,"endTime":540.088,"body":"be a kid, before being a gender,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":535.467,"endTime":540.088,"body":"I really wanted to just give him"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":540.16,"endTime":544.639,"body":"the chance to show me who he was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":540.16,"endTime":544.639,"body":"and let me support him without"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":544.71,"endTime":548.976,"body":"me coming at him with all these"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":544.71,"endTime":548.976,"body":"notions of you know, what he"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":549.047,"endTime":553.384,"body":"should wear and how he should be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":549.047,"endTime":553.384,"body":"spoken to and all this other"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":553.455,"endTime":557.792,"body":"stuff and to me it was that was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":553.455,"endTime":557.792,"body":"just super important. So So I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":557.863,"endTime":562.342,"body":"found comm liars a site and book"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":557.863,"endTime":562.342,"body":"and found some other you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":562.413,"endTime":566.679,"body":"people online doing similar"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":562.413,"endTime":566.679,"body":"things and, and was able to have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":566.75,"endTime":571.229,"body":"some really supportive friends"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":566.75,"endTime":571.229,"body":"mostly to help us you know, kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":571.301,"endTime":575.851,"body":"of guide guide that way so yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":571.301,"endTime":575.851,"body":"so that's, that's my story with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":575.922,"endTime":580.259,"body":"it. And I'm curious. Um, Rylie,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":575.922,"endTime":580.259,"body":"have you ever heard of gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":580.33,"endTime":582.179,"body":"creative parenting before?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":583.019,"endTime":586.169,"body":"So the term specifically"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":583.019,"endTime":586.169,"body":"prior to meeting new jazz,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":586.169,"endTime":590.639,"body":"actually, no, I had not heard of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":586.169,"endTime":590.639,"body":"it. But honestly, like listening"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":590.639,"endTime":594.989,"body":"to you guys, talk about like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":590.639,"endTime":594.989,"body":"your experiences, you know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":594.989,"endTime":599.969,"body":"trying to navigate racing"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":594.989,"endTime":599.969,"body":"through gender creativity."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":599.999,"endTime":603.329,"body":"aren't saying, I kind of like it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":599.999,"endTime":603.329,"body":"looking back on my own"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":603.329,"endTime":607.529,"body":"childhood. And weirdly enough,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":603.329,"endTime":607.529,"body":"despite growing up in a non"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":607.529,"endTime":610.709,"body":"religious conservative"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":607.529,"endTime":610.709,"body":"household, I actually think my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":610.709,"endTime":615.629,"body":"parents indirectly were doing"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":610.709,"endTime":615.629,"body":"some of that. Not. And it's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":615.629,"endTime":617.699,"body":"like, kind of weird to think"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":615.629,"endTime":617.699,"body":"back on it because it's like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":618.509,"endTime":621.479,"body":"well, you know, like, early,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":618.509,"endTime":621.479,"body":"early on, I was in like a soccer"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":621.479,"endTime":623.999,"body":"league, and that was all"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":621.479,"endTime":623.999,"body":"separated by gender. But then"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":624.269,"endTime":627.359,"body":"they were like, Okay, so let's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":624.269,"endTime":627.359,"body":"find something else. And they,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":627.899,"endTime":631.019,"body":"like, put me in a bowling"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":627.899,"endTime":631.019,"body":"league. And so this was very"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":631.019,"endTime":635.159,"body":"much, hey, you're bowling with"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":631.019,"endTime":635.159,"body":"everybody, there is no boys,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":635.159,"endTime":638.369,"body":"girls, it's everybody just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":635.159,"endTime":638.369,"body":"pulling against each other. And"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":638.369,"endTime":642.299,"body":"then like, when I got into high"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":638.369,"endTime":642.299,"body":"school, and I was starting to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":642.299,"endTime":648.299,"body":"explore my sexuality, and I was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":642.299,"endTime":648.299,"body":"presenting very Butch, for lack"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":648.299,"endTime":653.069,"body":"of better words. They were very"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":648.299,"endTime":653.069,"body":"supportive. And just were like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":653.069,"endTime":657.959,"body":"okay, like, here we go, like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":653.069,"endTime":657.959,"body":"we're just rolling with this. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":657.959,"endTime":659.939,"body":"like, you know, just kind of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":657.959,"endTime":659.939,"body":"thinking back on just like some"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":659.939,"endTime":662.909,"body":"of those key highlight points"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":659.939,"endTime":662.909,"body":"like that even, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":662.909,"endTime":666.449,"body":"like, weirdly enough, even"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":662.909,"endTime":666.449,"body":"though like I said, it was a"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":666.449,"endTime":670.559,"body":"pretty conservative household,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":666.449,"endTime":670.559,"body":"they were pretty, pretty doing"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":670.589,"endTime":674.339,"body":"good with the gender creative"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":670.589,"endTime":674.339,"body":"parenting in a way."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":675.179,"endTime":678.979,"body":"Yeah, it's a trip. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":675.179,"endTime":678.979,"body":"I'm not like, that's not too"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":679.048,"endTime":683.402,"body":"surprising, because, I mean, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":679.048,"endTime":683.402,"body":"grew up in a really conservative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":683.471,"endTime":687.479,"body":"household, but there were like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":683.471,"endTime":687.479,"body":"I also got some aspects of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":687.548,"endTime":691.279,"body":"actually gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":687.548,"endTime":691.279,"body":"parenting, I mean, my mom was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":691.348,"endTime":695.771,"body":"super into, like, you know, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":691.348,"endTime":695.771,"body":"can do whatever, you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":695.84,"endTime":699.848,"body":"Don't let a boy or a man tell"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":695.84,"endTime":699.848,"body":"you, you can't, you know, do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":699.917,"endTime":704.409,"body":"something. I mean, that was that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":699.917,"endTime":704.409,"body":"was all very strong. On the flip"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":704.478,"endTime":708.486,"body":"side, for me, there was a lot"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":704.478,"endTime":708.486,"body":"of, there was still a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":708.555,"endTime":712.77,"body":"anti trans stuff to a lot. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":708.555,"endTime":712.77,"body":"it was like, and again, it was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":712.839,"endTime":717.054,"body":"like, overt and subtle. And so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":712.839,"endTime":717.054,"body":"it was like kind of this DICOM"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":717.123,"endTime":721.339,"body":"it was kind of like both, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":717.123,"endTime":721.339,"body":"know, it was a little bit more,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":721.408,"endTime":725.623,"body":"like, almost radical feminist"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":721.408,"endTime":725.623,"body":"side, although I wouldn't quite"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":725.692,"endTime":729.976,"body":"put it put it in that category,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":725.692,"endTime":729.976,"body":"but like, kind of a little bit"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":730.046,"endTime":734.33,"body":"more, more towards that. But,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":730.046,"endTime":734.33,"body":"but no, that's, I mean, it's not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":734.399,"endTime":738.476,"body":"surprising because again, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":734.399,"endTime":738.476,"body":"you know, it a lot of these"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":738.545,"endTime":742.484,"body":"aspects of gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":738.545,"endTime":742.484,"body":"parenting a lot of parents do,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":742.553,"endTime":746.768,"body":"and I think part of it is kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":742.553,"endTime":746.768,"body":"of, kind of normalizing that a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":746.837,"endTime":751.053,"body":"little bit is, is kind of is a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":746.837,"endTime":751.053,"body":"powerful thing. So well, let's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":751.122,"endTime":755.475,"body":"get into the details. I have a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":751.122,"endTime":755.475,"body":"little list where we're gonna go"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":755.544,"endTime":759.552,"body":"through of some aspects of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":755.544,"endTime":759.552,"body":"gender creative parenting, that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":759.621,"endTime":763.491,"body":"I have noticed, are kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":759.621,"endTime":763.491,"body":"through lines through people"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":763.56,"endTime":767.361,"body":"that I know personally, or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":763.56,"endTime":767.361,"body":"people that I've seen online"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":767.43,"endTime":771.3,"body":"like Harvey Centauri and, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":767.43,"endTime":771.3,"body":"even, you know, from comme"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":771.369,"endTime":775.653,"body":"Myers, his book, but so we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":771.369,"endTime":775.653,"body":"just going to kind of take a few"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":775.722,"endTime":780.076,"body":"minutes on each of these topics."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":775.722,"endTime":780.076,"body":"And, and I'm just curious Iris"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":780.145,"endTime":784.429,"body":"on, you know, your perspective"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":780.145,"endTime":784.429,"body":"and, and I'll kind of give mine"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":784.498,"endTime":788.506,"body":"and Rylie you can chime in to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":784.498,"endTime":788.506,"body":"and we'll just kind of click"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":788.575,"endTime":792.859,"body":"through it here. So the first"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":788.575,"endTime":792.859,"body":"one is clothing. And I would say"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":792.929,"endTime":796.867,"body":"you know, it's like, all the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":792.929,"endTime":796.867,"body":"children was must wear gray."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":796.936,"endTime":801.152,"body":"Right? Or, or only black? No,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":796.936,"endTime":801.152,"body":"that's my formal occasions now."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":801.221,"endTime":805.574,"body":"No, I'm so really I think one of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":801.221,"endTime":805.574,"body":"the biggest things with gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":805.643,"endTime":809.651,"body":"creative parenting is a big"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":805.643,"endTime":809.651,"body":"three line is that, like, call"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":809.72,"endTime":813.383,"body":"it like clothing is clothing,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":809.72,"endTime":813.383,"body":"like a shirt is a shirt"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":813.452,"endTime":817.667,"body":"addresses a dress. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":813.452,"endTime":817.667,"body":"basically like, let your kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":817.736,"endTime":821.744,"body":"wear what they want to wear."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":817.736,"endTime":821.744,"body":"And, and kind of just for me,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":821.813,"endTime":826.236,"body":"the only thing that I have tried"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":821.813,"endTime":826.236,"body":"to do up to this point, because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":826.305,"endTime":830.658,"body":"my kid hasn't really been super"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":826.305,"endTime":830.658,"body":"interested in clothes, like not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":830.727,"endTime":834.874,"body":"like super into clothes yet is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":830.727,"endTime":834.874,"body":"that I haven't I've chosen to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":834.943,"endTime":838.674,"body":"not have him wear very gendered"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":834.943,"endTime":838.674,"body":"clothing and in either"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":838.743,"endTime":843.097,"body":"direction, like, but it's still"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":838.743,"endTime":843.097,"body":"like, a lot of colors, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":843.166,"endTime":847.105,"body":"designs, like whatever he wants,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":843.166,"endTime":847.105,"body":"like, yes, we have a few"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":847.174,"endTime":851.458,"body":"dresses. He doesn't really seem"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":847.174,"endTime":851.458,"body":"to be very interested in them."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":851.527,"endTime":855.95,"body":"But like that's we have them you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":851.527,"endTime":855.95,"body":"know, so like, that's cool. But"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":856.019,"endTime":859.889,"body":"Iris, what's your take on?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":856.019,"endTime":859.889,"body":"What's your take on clothing?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":860.399,"endTime":864.359,"body":"Yeah, no. So I think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":860.399,"endTime":864.359,"body":"especially when kids are so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":864.359,"endTime":869.429,"body":"young in that first year, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":864.359,"endTime":869.429,"body":"have so much that you need and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":869.429,"endTime":874.229,"body":"so much that you need to pay for"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":869.429,"endTime":874.229,"body":"that when it came to clothes. I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":874.229,"endTime":878.279,"body":"mean gender credit parenting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":874.229,"endTime":878.279,"body":"aside, there's no way I would"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":878.279,"endTime":883.349,"body":"have been able to like afford a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":878.279,"endTime":883.349,"body":"perfectly curated wardrobe for"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":883.349,"endTime":887.819,"body":"my zero to 12 month year old 12"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":883.349,"endTime":887.819,"body":"month year old because that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":887.819,"endTime":893.879,"body":"makes sense. But you know what I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":887.819,"endTime":893.879,"body":"mean? We from the start were"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":893.879,"endTime":897.149,"body":"very much like even while I was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":893.879,"endTime":897.149,"body":"pregnant if people like posted"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":897.149,"endTime":901.469,"body":"on a group like I have a box of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":897.149,"endTime":901.469,"body":"clothes I'm giving away A, we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":901.469,"endTime":904.919,"body":"were like, oh, that's ours,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":901.469,"endTime":904.919,"body":"we'll take it. And in our like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":904.919,"endTime":907.619,"body":"circle of family and friends,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":904.919,"endTime":907.619,"body":"we've all just kind of like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":907.619,"endTime":912.599,"body":"recycled our children's clothing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":907.619,"endTime":912.599,"body":"around each other. And it's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":912.599,"endTime":915.209,"body":"interesting because in that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":912.599,"endTime":915.209,"body":"group, there are people who have"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":915.209,"endTime":919.139,"body":"approached their parenting very"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":915.209,"endTime":919.139,"body":"gendered. And there are people"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":919.139,"endTime":924.749,"body":"who kind of ride the middle, and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":919.139,"endTime":924.749,"body":"then there was me. So it's been"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":924.749,"endTime":928.199,"body":"interesting approaching that,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":924.749,"endTime":928.199,"body":"because then of course, everyone"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":928.199,"endTime":931.139,"body":"says, like, let your kids pick"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":928.199,"endTime":931.139,"body":"out their clothes. And it's not"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":931.139,"endTime":934.259,"body":"really something you can do"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":931.139,"endTime":934.259,"body":"until maybe, you know, they're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":934.259,"endTime":939.359,"body":"six months and can be like, grab"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":934.259,"endTime":939.359,"body":"it. But you know, they're not"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":939.359,"endTime":941.969,"body":"really intentionally choosing,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":939.359,"endTime":941.969,"body":"it's just something pretty in"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":941.969,"endTime":946.649,"body":"front of them. So it is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":941.969,"endTime":946.649,"body":"interesting, because dresses"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":946.649,"endTime":950.249,"body":"were hard for us. And I don't, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":946.649,"endTime":950.249,"body":"didn't think they were going to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":950.249,"endTime":955.259,"body":"be until we realized it had been"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":950.249,"endTime":955.259,"body":"months. And we had never put a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":955.259,"endTime":960.179,"body":"dress on them. And we kind of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":955.259,"endTime":960.179,"body":"broke that down a little bit"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":960.809,"endTime":964.619,"body":"between each other and had to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":960.809,"endTime":964.619,"body":"talk about why that was tough"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":964.619,"endTime":968.429,"body":"for us and why we were avoiding"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":964.619,"endTime":968.429,"body":"it. And thinking back on like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":968.429,"endTime":973.109,"body":"childhood photos of both Torian"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":968.429,"endTime":973.109,"body":"die, when we are kind of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":973.109,"endTime":977.519,"body":"uncomfortable looking back at"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":973.109,"endTime":977.519,"body":"ones where we're in dresses, or"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":977.549,"endTime":981.059,"body":"just clothing in general that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":977.549,"endTime":981.059,"body":"didn't fit who we were, but"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":981.059,"endTime":986.519,"body":"we're kind of forced into. So I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":981.059,"endTime":986.519,"body":"started to think through. You"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":986.519,"endTime":990.449,"body":"know, that was hard for me. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":986.519,"endTime":990.449,"body":"at the same time, if I'm letting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":990.449,"endTime":993.359,"body":"that in the way of my parenting,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":990.449,"endTime":993.359,"body":"I'm not even giving them a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":993.359,"endTime":996.719,"body":"chance to maybe have a photo of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":993.359,"endTime":996.719,"body":"them and address when they were"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":996.719,"endTime":1000.649,"body":"a baby to look back on and say I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":996.719,"endTime":1000.649,"body":"love that. You know what I mean?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1000.979,"endTime":1004.489,"body":"So that was probably our"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1000.979,"endTime":1004.489,"body":"toughest hurdle. As far as"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1004.489,"endTime":1010.669,"body":"clothing those, I think that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1004.489,"endTime":1010.669,"body":"sometimes it's hard. When you I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1010.669,"endTime":1013.069,"body":"don't know if maybe you can"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1010.669,"endTime":1013.069,"body":"relate with this chest. But do"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1013.069,"endTime":1016.069,"body":"you ever feel like sometimes you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1013.069,"endTime":1016.069,"body":"know, the crowd, you're going to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1016.069,"endTime":1020.299,"body":"be around. So internally, you're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1016.069,"endTime":1020.299,"body":"kind of like, if I just dress"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1020.299,"endTime":1025.069,"body":"them this way, a little bit."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1020.299,"endTime":1025.069,"body":"Like, maybe the you know, the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1025.069,"endTime":1028.339,"body":"pronouns, that person is going"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1025.069,"endTime":1028.339,"body":"to find your child is going to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1028.339,"endTime":1032.479,"body":"be different. But that was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1028.339,"endTime":1032.479,"body":"always you know, something in"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1032.479,"endTime":1037.489,"body":"the early like maybe the first"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1032.479,"endTime":1037.489,"body":"three ish months that we found"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1037.489,"endTime":1040.609,"body":"ourselves doing a lot too, which"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1037.489,"endTime":1040.609,"body":"was weird, because we went into"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1040.609,"endTime":1043.879,"body":"it thinking clothing, this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1040.609,"endTime":1043.879,"body":"clothing, and this is our baby"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1043.879,"endTime":1048.469,"body":"and whatever. And I should also"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1043.879,"endTime":1048.469,"body":"add, I should add this earlier,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1048.469,"endTime":1057.469,"body":"but we have been very"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1048.469,"endTime":1057.469,"body":"intentional with strictly using"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1057.769,"endTime":1063.229,"body":"they them pronouns. At this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1057.769,"endTime":1063.229,"body":"point, we did not share the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1064.669,"endTime":1067.519,"body":"biological sex, if you want to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1064.669,"endTime":1067.519,"body":"call it that. I know there's a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1067.519,"endTime":1069.889,"body":"lot of discourse in this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1067.519,"endTime":1069.889,"body":"community as well, which is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1069.919,"endTime":1073.789,"body":"maybe a topic for another time"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1069.919,"endTime":1073.789,"body":"about what terms to use there."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1073.789,"endTime":1076.219,"body":"But we didn't share the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1073.789,"endTime":1076.219,"body":"biological text of our child"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1076.219,"endTime":1080.899,"body":"with anyone off the bat. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1076.219,"endTime":1080.899,"body":"still, to this point, it's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1080.899,"endTime":1085.189,"body":"caretakers and doctors. So it's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1080.899,"endTime":1085.189,"body":"been interesting as well, just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1085.189,"endTime":1088.579,"body":"to see, especially regarding the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1085.189,"endTime":1088.579,"body":"clothing they're wearing, what"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1088.579,"endTime":1095.029,"body":"people let slip, you could say"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1088.579,"endTime":1095.029,"body":"or what they just decide for"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1095.029,"endTime":1098.929,"body":"that day, her the opposite"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1095.029,"endTime":1098.929,"body":"they're wearing, which is so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1098.929,"endTime":1103.009,"body":"weird. Um, yeah, I don't know if"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1098.929,"endTime":1103.009,"body":"you can relate with that at all,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1103.009,"endTime":1106.819,"body":"just but that was a weird one"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1103.009,"endTime":1106.819,"body":"for us just kind of navigating"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1106.819,"endTime":1112.069,"body":"how our own feelings came into"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1106.819,"endTime":1112.069,"body":"play and how we were dressing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1112.069,"endTime":1116.629,"body":"them and, and baby clothes are"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1112.069,"endTime":1116.629,"body":"so cute, like, you just want to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1116.629,"endTime":1120.349,"body":"put everything off. So we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1116.629,"endTime":1120.349,"body":"definitely have fun with it."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1121.909,"endTime":1125.419,"body":"Yeah, that's kind of where where"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1121.909,"endTime":1125.419,"body":"we were at with that. And now,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1125.719,"endTime":1130.429,"body":"definitely, you know, as they're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1125.719,"endTime":1130.429,"body":"getting older, we can see a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1130.429,"endTime":1135.709,"body":"little bit of their flavor, very"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1130.429,"endTime":1135.709,"body":"active kid. So something like a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1135.709,"endTime":1140.359,"body":"dress gets in the way a lot of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1135.709,"endTime":1140.359,"body":"time and they get frustrated if"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1140.359,"endTime":1144.289,"body":"they if their foot gets caught"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1140.359,"endTime":1144.289,"body":"in the skirt. And so we lean"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1144.289,"endTime":1148.039,"body":"toward like a tight bike short,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1144.289,"endTime":1148.039,"body":"because at the same time, the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1148.039,"endTime":1152.359,"body":"more balloony shorts also get in"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1148.039,"endTime":1152.359,"body":"the way or a t shirt falls over"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1152.359,"endTime":1156.469,"body":"there. Like and things like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1152.359,"endTime":1156.469,"body":"that. So a lot of the times now"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1156.469,"endTime":1159.679,"body":"we just dress for comfort, and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1156.469,"endTime":1159.679,"body":"where are we going to go? Are we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1159.679,"endTime":1161.839,"body":"going to open gym? Are you going"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1159.679,"endTime":1161.839,"body":"to be crawling around? Are you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1161.839,"endTime":1165.379,"body":"gonna be standing and walking"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1161.839,"endTime":1165.379,"body":"and running? And that's kind of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1165.379,"endTime":1169.489,"body":"how we approach it now, whereas"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1165.379,"endTime":1169.489,"body":"I think when they were younger,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1169.519,"endTime":1173.119,"body":"we were very much like, they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1169.519,"endTime":1173.119,"body":"must have every color of the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1173.119,"endTime":1175.549,"body":"rainbow in every style. And we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1173.119,"endTime":1175.549,"body":"have to put them in all of this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1175.549,"endTime":1179.269,"body":"stuff. And now we've just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1175.549,"endTime":1179.269,"body":"started to let them kind of lead"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1179.269,"endTime":1181.669,"body":"the way with that. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1182.0,"endTime":1184.61,"body":"that makes sense. That"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1182.0,"endTime":1184.61,"body":"totally makes sense. Yeah, I can"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1184.61,"endTime":1187.55,"body":"relate to a lot of that for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1184.61,"endTime":1187.55,"body":"sure. I mean, Hami downs,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1187.76,"endTime":1190.82,"body":"absolutely. Those are those are"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1187.76,"endTime":1190.82,"body":"essential as a parent because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1190.82,"endTime":1194.0,"body":"yeah, it's like, you need so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1190.82,"endTime":1194.0,"body":"many clothes, especially in that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1194.0,"endTime":1198.2,"body":"first year and then and then you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1194.0,"endTime":1198.2,"body":"just have to wash them so much."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1198.2,"endTime":1203.12,"body":"I mean they get so dirty, like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1198.2,"endTime":1203.12,"body":"It's like, so So yeah, hand me"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1203.12,"endTime":1205.82,"body":"downs are essential. And I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1203.12,"endTime":1205.82,"body":"totally get that. I think that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1205.82,"endTime":1210.08,"body":"also like a, like a first parent"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1205.82,"endTime":1210.08,"body":"thing of kind of just, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1210.08,"endTime":1213.32,"body":"this is my, like, my, like, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1210.08,"endTime":1213.32,"body":"only have one kid too. So it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1213.32,"endTime":1217.1,"body":"like that and that kind of like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1213.32,"endTime":1217.1,"body":"we're gonna do it this way, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1217.1,"endTime":1219.56,"body":"know, and then you get to the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1217.1,"endTime":1219.56,"body":"reality of it. And it's like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1219.59,"endTime":1227.36,"body":"actually, whatever is clean"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1219.59,"endTime":1227.36,"body":"today is yes. So, so yeah, I can"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1227.36,"endTime":1230.72,"body":"absolutely relate to that. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1227.36,"endTime":1230.72,"body":"definitely notice, too. Yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1230.72,"endTime":1235.43,"body":"mean, with different outfits and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1230.72,"endTime":1235.43,"body":"how, how our kid was, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1235.43,"endTime":1238.67,"body":"is assumed to be just a certain"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1235.43,"endTime":1238.67,"body":"gender, you know, kind of just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1238.67,"endTime":1242.9,"body":"based on that. I mean, that's a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1238.67,"endTime":1242.9,"body":"lot of social cues is clothing"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1242.93,"endTime":1247.61,"body":"and, and a lot of kids clothes"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1242.93,"endTime":1247.61,"body":"are actually like, really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1247.61,"endTime":1252.44,"body":"gendered. So especially even"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1247.61,"endTime":1252.44,"body":"like, it's kind of amazing with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1252.44,"endTime":1255.98,"body":"the like, with the baby clothes,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1252.44,"endTime":1255.98,"body":"and you're like, it's a baby,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1256.04,"endTime":1256.64,"body":"you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1256.67,"endTime":1260.42,"body":"oh, my gosh, drives me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1256.67,"endTime":1260.42,"body":"crazy. Like, we love to go to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1260.45,"endTime":1264.11,"body":"like any kinds of kids"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1260.45,"endTime":1264.11,"body":"consignment events, things like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1264.11,"endTime":1268.07,"body":"that. And we're always like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1264.11,"endTime":1268.07,"body":"pouring through the aisles. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1268.1,"endTime":1272.21,"body":"there's too many too many ones"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1268.1,"endTime":1272.21,"body":"using little shirts and things"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1272.21,"endTime":1275.54,"body":"like that, that are like, watch"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1272.21,"endTime":1275.54,"body":"out for my daddy's gun. I'm"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1275.54,"endTime":1279.86,"body":"like, Oh, this is for a three"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1275.54,"endTime":1279.86,"body":"month old. It's a little too"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1279.86,"endTime":1284.75,"body":"much for me. Yep. Yeah, it's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1279.86,"endTime":1284.75,"body":"crazy. It's crazy."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1285.35,"endTime":1288.86,"body":"It's wild. It's wild. But"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1285.35,"endTime":1288.86,"body":"you know, big industry because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1289.04,"endTime":1297.23,"body":"you need to close. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1289.04,"endTime":1297.23,"body":"absolutely. Probably, do you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1297.23,"endTime":1298.94,"body":"have any thoughts on kids"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1297.23,"endTime":1298.94,"body":"clothes?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1299.99,"endTime":1303.463,"body":"I mean, honestly, like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1299.99,"endTime":1303.463,"body":"not like at the very young age,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1303.526,"endTime":1307.251,"body":"but like, when I'm thinking"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1303.526,"endTime":1307.251,"body":"back, like, especially on like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1307.314,"endTime":1311.356,"body":"again, you know, on my youth, my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1307.314,"endTime":1311.356,"body":"parents actually did kind of go"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1311.419,"endTime":1315.334,"body":"out of their way to find pretty"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1311.419,"endTime":1315.334,"body":"neutral clothing for all of us"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1315.397,"endTime":1319.438,"body":"kids, especially because I know."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1315.397,"endTime":1319.438,"body":"While it was easier for like me"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1319.502,"endTime":1323.353,"body":"and my younger sister to hand me"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1319.502,"endTime":1323.353,"body":"downs in that perspective, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1323.417,"endTime":1327.458,"body":"still actually did get me dance"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1323.417,"endTime":1327.458,"body":"from my older brother. So it was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1327.521,"endTime":1331.562,"body":"kind of this interesting, like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1327.521,"endTime":1331.562,"body":"like, going through and figuring"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1331.625,"endTime":1335.477,"body":"out, okay, you know, Ken, can"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1331.625,"endTime":1335.477,"body":"Rylie wear this? Or is this not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1335.54,"endTime":1339.645,"body":"going to be one of those things?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1335.54,"endTime":1339.645,"body":"That is like really appropriate."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1339.708,"endTime":1343.749,"body":"But then like, at the same time,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1339.708,"endTime":1343.749,"body":"they were like, you know, what,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1343.813,"endTime":1347.854,"body":"if he wants to wear this Lord of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1343.813,"endTime":1347.854,"body":"the Rings shirt, he's given the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1347.917,"endTime":1351.895,"body":"word, the Lord of the Rings. So,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1347.917,"endTime":1351.895,"body":"you know, like, there was this"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1351.958,"endTime":1355.81,"body":"things like that, where it was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1351.958,"endTime":1355.81,"body":"like, okay, cool. You know, it"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1355.873,"endTime":1359.725,"body":"wasn't even like an intentional"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1355.873,"endTime":1359.725,"body":"like, Hey, I love Lord of the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1359.788,"endTime":1363.577,"body":"Rings. It was just like, hey,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1359.788,"endTime":1363.577,"body":"again, if it was clean I think"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1363.64,"endTime":1365.03,"body":"another multiple kids."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1365.63,"endTime":1369.71,"body":"Oh, my gosh, yeah, I have"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1365.63,"endTime":1369.71,"body":"three siblings. And I, yeah, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1369.74,"endTime":1373.94,"body":"Yeah, there was four of us. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1369.74,"endTime":1373.94,"body":"I, I remember, my so my parents"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1373.94,"endTime":1379.16,"body":"were very strict with boys and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1373.94,"endTime":1379.16,"body":"girls stuff. So my childhood is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1379.16,"endTime":1381.5,"body":"a little different than what the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1379.16,"endTime":1381.5,"body":"two of you have shared. But I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1381.5,"endTime":1388.19,"body":"think that comes with religion."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1381.5,"endTime":1388.19,"body":"And the oldest of us is my"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1388.19,"endTime":1391.64,"body":"brother. And he was the only one"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1388.19,"endTime":1391.64,"body":"who like always got new clothes."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1392.36,"endTime":1395.39,"body":"Because the three of us, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1392.36,"endTime":1395.39,"body":"know, sisters could just kind of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1395.39,"endTime":1399.41,"body":"share and pass things around"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1395.39,"endTime":1399.41,"body":"that way. And I remember always"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1399.41,"endTime":1403.19,"body":"being really jealous of that."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1399.41,"endTime":1403.19,"body":"But another thing I wanted to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1404.15,"endTime":1407.18,"body":"call out is, it's been"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1404.15,"endTime":1407.18,"body":"interesting too, as we have past"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1407.18,"endTime":1414.14,"body":"clothes on. If we like, post a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1407.18,"endTime":1414.14,"body":"bin of, you know, we're like a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1414.17,"endTime":1417.23,"body":"three to six month clothing."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1414.17,"endTime":1417.23,"body":"Just come pick up at this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1417.23,"endTime":1420.65,"body":"location. You know, the first"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1417.23,"endTime":1420.65,"body":"thing people comment is, is it"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1420.65,"endTime":1425.78,"body":"boys or girls? And I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1420.65,"endTime":1425.78,"body":"You're asking the wrong person?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1426.5,"endTime":1429.95,"body":"Because I got nothing for Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1426.5,"endTime":1429.95,"body":"like, if you're asking me if"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1429.95,"endTime":1433.82,"body":"they're blue, or they're pink,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1429.95,"endTime":1433.82,"body":"you're gonna they're yellow and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1433.82,"endTime":1437.57,"body":"green and and blue and pink and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1433.82,"endTime":1437.57,"body":"polka dots and all these things."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1437.57,"endTime":1441.89,"body":"And if you're asking me if they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1437.57,"endTime":1441.89,"body":"say daddy's little girl, you're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1441.89,"endTime":1445.85,"body":"not going to find that in there."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1441.89,"endTime":1445.85,"body":"But especially at that age,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1446.18,"endTime":1450.8,"body":"they're onesies and shorts and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1446.18,"endTime":1450.8,"body":"shirts, and there's nothing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1450.8,"endTime":1455.09,"body":"different about them at that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1450.8,"endTime":1455.09,"body":"point. So that's just another"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1455.09,"endTime":1458.0,"body":"interesting thing is always"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1455.09,"endTime":1458.0,"body":"like, boys or girls stuff. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1458.0,"endTime":1459.98,"body":"I'm like, it's close. Free."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1460.16,"endTime":1464.36,"body":"Yeah, just. Yeah. And that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1460.16,"endTime":1464.36,"body":"just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1464.45,"endTime":1467.84,"body":"Lord of the Rings t shirt"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1464.45,"endTime":1467.84,"body":"taking. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1468.47,"endTime":1472.49,"body":"totally. But I think that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1468.47,"endTime":1472.49,"body":"just ends up being like, kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1472.49,"endTime":1476.84,"body":"a pattern to like, to parenting"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1472.49,"endTime":1476.84,"body":"in general. And even like, young"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1476.84,"endTime":1481.25,"body":"parenting is like all of that,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1476.84,"endTime":1481.25,"body":"like, just kind of all of that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1482.09,"endTime":1486.53,"body":"pressure from everywhere in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1482.09,"endTime":1486.53,"body":"society to to kind of constantly"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1486.68,"endTime":1492.5,"body":"you know, define your kid in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1486.68,"endTime":1492.5,"body":"that way. And and, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1492.5,"endTime":1496.58,"body":"constantly gender them which,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1492.5,"endTime":1496.58,"body":"which, again, you know, for a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1496.58,"endTime":1499.28,"body":"lot of people is like, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1496.58,"endTime":1499.28,"body":"what they want and like they're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1499.28,"endTime":1502.01,"body":"cool with that. And that's, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1499.28,"endTime":1502.01,"body":"know, but it's, I think,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1502.04,"endTime":1506.27,"body":"especially for people who have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1502.04,"endTime":1506.27,"body":"spent time questioning it, it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1506.27,"endTime":1510.11,"body":"like, Well, again, like, why,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1506.27,"endTime":1510.11,"body":"like, Why do we always have to,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1510.14,"endTime":1512.84,"body":"you know, why do we always have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1510.14,"endTime":1512.84,"body":"to be looking at it from this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1513.11,"endTime":1520.91,"body":"perspective? Which calm liars"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1513.11,"endTime":1520.91,"body":"mentioned a lot. You in, in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1520.91,"endTime":1525.59,"body":"their books. So. So the next the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1520.91,"endTime":1525.59,"body":"next topic is toys also have no"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1525.59,"endTime":1531.95,"body":"gender? I think I am, my kid is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1525.59,"endTime":1531.95,"body":"a little bit older. He is kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1531.95,"endTime":1534.74,"body":"of getting close to four, like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1531.95,"endTime":1534.74,"body":"three and a half, four somewhere"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1534.74,"endTime":1541.88,"body":"in there. But it's definitely,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1534.74,"endTime":1541.88,"body":"you know, baby toys. Sometimes"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1541.88,"endTime":1545.18,"body":"you get that for sure. But I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1541.88,"endTime":1545.18,"body":"mean, babies don't even hardly"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1545.18,"endTime":1548.06,"body":"have toys for the first six"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1545.18,"endTime":1548.06,"body":"months, you know, except for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1548.06,"endTime":1552.71,"body":"like, the keys and stuff like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1548.06,"endTime":1552.71,"body":"right? Oh, you know, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1552.89,"endTime":1556.67,"body":"especially as kids start to get"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1552.89,"endTime":1556.67,"body":"a little bit older, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1556.67,"endTime":1560.42,"body":"especially the way that the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1556.67,"endTime":1560.42,"body":"stores are separated, the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1560.42,"endTime":1564.35,"body":"different aisles, you know, like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1560.42,"endTime":1564.35,"body":"the pink aisle, and the blue"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1564.35,"endTime":1568.55,"body":"aisle, and all of those"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1564.35,"endTime":1568.55,"body":"different things are our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1568.55,"endTime":1573.5,"body":"perspective is toys do not have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1568.55,"endTime":1573.5,"body":"gender. And again, we've at this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1573.5,"endTime":1576.68,"body":"point, kind of taken the same"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1573.5,"endTime":1576.68,"body":"approach of we're following our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1576.68,"endTime":1579.08,"body":"kids lead on what he's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1576.68,"endTime":1579.08,"body":"interested in, but a lot of the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1579.08,"endTime":1584.21,"body":"toys that we have our you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1579.08,"endTime":1584.21,"body":"we do, we do have like, both"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1584.21,"endTime":1587.03,"body":"some things that would be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1584.21,"endTime":1587.03,"body":"considered girl toys and boy"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1587.03,"endTime":1590.72,"body":"toys, but I really don't, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1587.03,"endTime":1590.72,"body":"don't like to have anything"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1590.72,"endTime":1595.28,"body":"that, you know, like says that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1590.72,"endTime":1595.28,"body":"or, or, you know, just really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1595.61,"endTime":1600.77,"body":"screams that so much in whatever"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1595.61,"endTime":1600.77,"body":"way like, my kid has a couple of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1600.77,"endTime":1604.4,"body":"dolls, but they're not like, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1600.77,"endTime":1604.4,"body":"mean, they're not like Barbie"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1604.4,"endTime":1607.28,"body":"dolls, but they're not like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1604.4,"endTime":1607.28,"body":"that, like super feminine dolls."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1607.28,"endTime":1609.56,"body":"You know, they're just, they're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1607.28,"endTime":1609.56,"body":"just like dolls. They're like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1609.56,"endTime":1612.74,"body":"the more fabric II kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1609.56,"endTime":1612.74,"body":"dolls. And he's actually a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1612.74,"endTime":1616.61,"body":"couple of different ones that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1612.74,"endTime":1616.61,"body":"have like, excuse me different"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1616.61,"endTime":1620.87,"body":"color skin tones, but it's just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1616.61,"endTime":1620.87,"body":"not in that hyper feminine way."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1622.13,"endTime":1625.4,"body":"Um, what about you, Tori, have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1622.13,"endTime":1625.4,"body":"you gotten into that at all yet?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1625.4,"endTime":1625.91,"body":"Or"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1626.51,"endTime":1630.38,"body":"I think they're still so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1626.51,"endTime":1630.38,"body":"young that we haven't really"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1630.38,"endTime":1634.94,"body":"approached that yet. Again,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1630.38,"endTime":1634.94,"body":"we've I don't think we bought"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1634.97,"endTime":1638.24,"body":"okay, we bought one toy, the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1634.97,"endTime":1638.24,"body":"first year of their life, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1638.24,"endTime":1643.31,"body":"would say, because we just got a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1638.24,"endTime":1643.31,"body":"lot of hand me downs. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1643.31,"endTime":1646.49,"body":"can't really call out like a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1643.31,"endTime":1646.49,"body":"bathing toy that was super"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1646.49,"endTime":1651.98,"body":"gendered for the early like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1646.49,"endTime":1651.98,"body":"first six months or so. And then"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1651.98,"endTime":1657.86,"body":"probably around, I want to say"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1651.98,"endTime":1657.86,"body":"it was like 1011 months old. We"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1657.86,"endTime":1661.73,"body":"were just walking through a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1657.86,"endTime":1661.73,"body":"target and we were like, You"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1661.73,"endTime":1665.15,"body":"know what, let's just take a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1661.73,"endTime":1665.15,"body":"stroll through the the toy aisle"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1665.15,"endTime":1669.35,"body":"and see if they gravitate toward"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1665.15,"endTime":1669.35,"body":"anything. And we came up to like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1669.35,"endTime":1673.13,"body":"three Sesame Street stuffies"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1669.35,"endTime":1673.13,"body":"dolls, whatever you want to call"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1673.13,"endTime":1677.57,"body":"it. And it was like Elmo and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1673.13,"endTime":1677.57,"body":"Cookie Monster and Abby. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1677.57,"endTime":1679.58,"body":"don't know if your kid watches"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1677.57,"endTime":1679.58,"body":"Sesame Street, or if you do"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1679.58,"endTime":1681.8,"body":"screentime or anything like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1679.58,"endTime":1681.8,"body":"that. But we watch a lot of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1681.8,"endTime":1686.18,"body":"Sesame Street, apples. And Abby"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1681.8,"endTime":1686.18,"body":"is a little fairy that always"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1686.18,"endTime":1690.17,"body":"like waves the wand and says"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1686.18,"endTime":1690.17,"body":"like zipties something or"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1690.17,"endTime":1695.03,"body":"whatever with the wand. And like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1690.17,"endTime":1695.03,"body":"Troyer totally gravitated to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1695.03,"endTime":1698.42,"body":"picking out the Abbey. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1695.03,"endTime":1698.42,"body":"think you know, just from that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1698.42,"endTime":1701.75,"body":"connection, like oh, the one"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1698.42,"endTime":1701.75,"body":"that's fine. Like, they always"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1701.75,"endTime":1706.97,"body":"laugh when she does the little"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1701.75,"endTime":1706.97,"body":"zippity thing. And it was so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1706.97,"endTime":1711.23,"body":"cool for that to watch that kind"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1706.97,"endTime":1711.23,"body":"of unfold to see like, oh, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1711.23,"endTime":1717.11,"body":"recognize what that is. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1711.23,"endTime":1717.11,"body":"that's the one I want. And, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1717.11,"endTime":1723.08,"body":"know, it's something that really"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1717.11,"endTime":1723.08,"body":"baffles me when parents who"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1723.8,"endTime":1728.12,"body":"parent in a very gendered way,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1723.8,"endTime":1728.12,"body":"kind of miss out on that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1728.12,"endTime":1732.74,"body":"sometimes if they're always"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1728.12,"endTime":1732.74,"body":"choosing what they think is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1732.74,"endTime":1738.74,"body":"right for their child, and I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1732.74,"endTime":1738.74,"body":"100% respect every parenting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1738.74,"endTime":1743.06,"body":"style and how people approach"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1738.74,"endTime":1743.06,"body":"raising their children because"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1743.06,"endTime":1747.32,"body":"it's hard, and we're all just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1743.06,"endTime":1747.32,"body":"doing the best we can. But I I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1747.32,"endTime":1750.53,"body":"try to talk on that a lot when I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1747.32,"endTime":1750.53,"body":"talk about gender creative"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1750.53,"endTime":1754.4,"body":"gender open, everything"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1750.53,"endTime":1754.4,"body":"parenting is the fact that you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1754.4,"endTime":1758.18,"body":"get to watch your child think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1754.4,"endTime":1758.18,"body":"about things in a way that I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1758.18,"endTime":1761.51,"body":"don't think we would have seen"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1758.18,"endTime":1761.51,"body":"had we not been parenting this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1761.51,"endTime":1766.16,"body":"way. So it's so silly that to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1761.51,"endTime":1766.16,"body":"have that moment with a toy. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1766.16,"endTime":1770.09,"body":"it was really special for us to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1766.16,"endTime":1770.09,"body":"realize that they picked that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1770.09,"endTime":1774.05,"body":"out. They did that that's the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1770.09,"endTime":1774.05,"body":"one they wanted. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1774.05,"endTime":1777.32,"body":"it gets thrown on the floor of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1774.05,"endTime":1777.32,"body":"our car now, but you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1777.89,"endTime":1779.03,"body":"they're with the keys."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1781.01,"endTime":1783.41,"body":"Good toys. Yes, exactly."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1783.41,"endTime":1788.6,"body":"So, yeah, I think it'll be"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1783.41,"endTime":1788.6,"body":"interesting as they get older"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1788.6,"endTime":1793.88,"body":"and I feel like probably where"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1788.6,"endTime":1793.88,"body":"you're at that like school"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1793.88,"endTime":1798.38,"body":"preschool ish age is when I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1793.88,"endTime":1798.38,"body":"think things start to shift a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1798.38,"endTime":1803.24,"body":"lot for kids and things start to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1798.38,"endTime":1803.24,"body":"get that split. So, I will be"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1803.24,"endTime":1807.44,"body":"looking to you and how we're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1803.24,"endTime":1807.44,"body":"gonna handle that for sure."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":1807.62,"endTime":1808.46,"body":"We'll keep talking."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1808.67,"endTime":1812.69,"body":"Yeah, we'll keep talking."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1808.67,"endTime":1812.69,"body":"Definitely keep talking. For"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1812.69,"endTime":1817.13,"body":"sure. For sure. Rally what? What"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1812.69,"endTime":1817.13,"body":"about you? What do you think"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1817.13,"endTime":1821.78,"body":"about you got any two cents on"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1817.13,"endTime":1821.78,"body":"gender toys, non gender toys."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1822.86,"endTime":1828.26,"body":"I mean, honestly, like, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1822.86,"endTime":1828.26,"body":"was kind of a weird kid anyway."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1828.26,"endTime":1833.3,"body":"So like, my, my choices and toys"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1828.26,"endTime":1833.3,"body":"were always kind of, I guess"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1833.3,"endTime":1837.38,"body":"neutral anyway. I mean, like, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1833.3,"endTime":1837.38,"body":"was always, like, trying to keep"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1837.38,"endTime":1839.9,"body":"up with my brother, but also"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1837.38,"endTime":1839.9,"body":"like, the other kids on the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1839.9,"endTime":1843.47,"body":"court. And just, I was just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1839.9,"endTime":1843.47,"body":"involved in every aspect with"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1843.47,"endTime":1847.28,"body":"everybody. And I was just trying"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1843.47,"endTime":1847.28,"body":"to, like, figure out what the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1847.28,"endTime":1851.93,"body":"heck was even going on, I guess,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1847.28,"endTime":1851.93,"body":"with life. So for me, like, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1851.93,"endTime":1856.79,"body":"know, it was just kind of like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1851.93,"endTime":1856.79,"body":"this aspect of yeah, just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1856.82,"endTime":1860.3,"body":"wanting to be your older"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1856.82,"endTime":1860.3,"body":"siblings in a way sometimes and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1860.3,"endTime":1863.09,"body":"things like that, and just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1860.3,"endTime":1863.09,"body":"wanting to be the other kids in"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1863.09,"endTime":1866.36,"body":"the court. And just so like, for"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1863.09,"endTime":1866.36,"body":"me, I was just always trying to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1866.36,"endTime":1869.06,"body":"play like kickball or baseball"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1866.36,"endTime":1869.06,"body":"and you know, accidentally"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1869.06,"endTime":1874.94,"body":"breaking a car window in the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1869.06,"endTime":1874.94,"body":"process. And, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1875.06,"endTime":1877.82,"body":"hide and seek and just being"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1875.06,"endTime":1877.82,"body":"outside with all the other kids,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1877.82,"endTime":1880.67,"body":"and so never really felt"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1877.82,"endTime":1880.67,"body":"gendered in any sort of way,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1880.67,"endTime":1884.75,"body":"when we were doing those sorts"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1880.67,"endTime":1884.75,"body":"of things anyway. But even you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1884.75,"endTime":1887.78,"body":"know, even when it came down to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1884.75,"endTime":1887.78,"body":"it, like, I still like like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1887.78,"endTime":1891.23,"body":"house and things like that with,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1887.78,"endTime":1891.23,"body":"like, the other girls and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1891.26,"endTime":1895.07,"body":"whatnot, when it was just all"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1891.26,"endTime":1895.07,"body":"the kids all the time and all"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1895.07,"endTime":1898.55,"body":"that. But you know, like, my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1895.07,"endTime":1898.55,"body":"parents weren't actively"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1898.55,"endTime":1901.94,"body":"encouraging one way or another"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1898.55,"endTime":1901.94,"body":"though, with a lot of the toys."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1902.09,"endTime":1906.89,"body":"Like they, you know, obviously"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1902.09,"endTime":1906.89,"body":"very much encouraged, like the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1906.89,"endTime":1911.57,"body":"music and my my aspects of like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1906.89,"endTime":1911.57,"body":"Hey, I wanted a drum set, I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1911.57,"endTime":1914.81,"body":"wanted a keyboard, I wanted my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1911.57,"endTime":1914.81,"body":"flute I wanted, you know, to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1914.81,"endTime":1918.38,"body":"play all the instruments. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1914.81,"endTime":1918.38,"body":"like, they they did, you know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1918.38,"endTime":1921.89,"body":"encourage that. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1918.38,"endTime":1921.89,"body":"there is no gender to music. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1921.89,"endTime":1924.44,"body":"like, that was always a very"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1921.89,"endTime":1924.44,"body":"nice thing for them to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1924.59,"endTime":1928.97,"body":"encourage. Especially because I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1924.59,"endTime":1928.97,"body":"did have such a strong tie to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1928.97,"endTime":1931.49,"body":"it, especially throughout middle"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1928.97,"endTime":1931.49,"body":"school in high school, where I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1931.49,"endTime":1934.61,"body":"was like, in high school, I went"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1931.49,"endTime":1934.61,"body":"to a Visual Performing Arts"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1934.61,"endTime":1938.06,"body":"Academy for playing music. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1934.61,"endTime":1938.06,"body":"like, it was one of those things"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1938.06,"endTime":1942.53,"body":"where it was like really nice to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1938.06,"endTime":1942.53,"body":"be encouraged to do those things"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1942.53,"endTime":1945.74,"body":"that didn't have any sort of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":1942.53,"endTime":1945.74,"body":"gender tied to it even."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1947.63,"endTime":1950.48,"body":"Yeah, that that makes"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1947.63,"endTime":1950.48,"body":"sense. And I mean, I think kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1950.48,"endTime":1954.05,"body":"of overall, that's, that's what"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1950.48,"endTime":1954.05,"body":"that I mean, that's one piece"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1954.05,"endTime":1959.99,"body":"that I've found is like, if, if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1954.05,"endTime":1959.99,"body":"you're not focusing on gender in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1959.99,"endTime":1962.75,"body":"your kid, and a lot of ways and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1959.99,"endTime":1962.75,"body":"again, a lot of parents aren't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1962.75,"endTime":1965.6,"body":"necessarily that's not It's not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1962.75,"endTime":1965.6,"body":"like they, you know, wake up"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1965.6,"endTime":1968.09,"body":"every day, and they're like, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1965.6,"endTime":1968.09,"body":"gotta really reinforced this,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1968.12,"endTime":1971.84,"body":"you know, gender binary, but, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1968.12,"endTime":1971.84,"body":"mean, they do and a lot of ways,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1971.84,"endTime":1975.71,"body":"but it's not like a conscious"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1971.84,"endTime":1975.71,"body":"thought for most people. But"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1975.71,"endTime":1979.97,"body":"yeah, I mean, I feel like, it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1975.71,"endTime":1979.97,"body":"been really freeing for me, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1980.0,"endTime":1983.21,"body":"I, you know, I will speak for my"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1980.0,"endTime":1983.21,"body":"wife, she's not here, but like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1983.21,"endTime":1986.75,"body":"it seems it has been really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1983.21,"endTime":1986.75,"body":"freeing for us to be able to, to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1986.75,"endTime":1990.5,"body":"just to just follow our kids"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1986.75,"endTime":1990.5,"body":"interests more and not and not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1990.5,"endTime":1994.13,"body":"have to even have the thought of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1990.5,"endTime":1994.13,"body":"like, well, is this a boy thing?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1994.13,"endTime":1997.94,"body":"Or is this a girl thing? And is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1994.13,"endTime":1997.94,"body":"this okay? Or, you know, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1997.94,"endTime":2000.85,"body":"again, that's going to shift as"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":1997.94,"endTime":2000.85,"body":"as time goes on and, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2001.0,"endTime":2004.27,"body":"socialization starts to change,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2001.0,"endTime":2004.27,"body":"and our kid goes to school and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2004.27,"endTime":2009.43,"body":"all of that. But, yeah, that,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2004.27,"endTime":2009.43,"body":"that, that makes sense. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2009.43,"endTime":2013.48,"body":"it's like, yeah, music, not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2009.43,"endTime":2013.48,"body":"gendered. Just music, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2013.87,"endTime":2017.11,"body":"just like a lot of like, outside"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2013.87,"endTime":2017.11,"body":"stuff, you know, it's like, if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2017.11,"endTime":2021.22,"body":"it's, you know, that's like, not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2017.11,"endTime":2021.22,"body":"just not gendered, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2021.22,"endTime":2024.31,"body":"mean, sports, I would say, in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2021.22,"endTime":2024.31,"body":"general, especially like little"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2024.31,"endTime":2027.61,"body":"kids sports, not gender."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2024.31,"endTime":2027.61,"body":"Unfortunately, they do start to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2027.61,"endTime":2031.42,"body":"gender kids sports, like really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2027.61,"endTime":2031.42,"body":"early as far as separating them"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2031.96,"endTime":2035.2,"body":"a lot of times. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2031.96,"endTime":2035.2,"body":"that's, that's really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2035.2,"endTime":2038.98,"body":"unnecessary course, sports is a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2035.2,"endTime":2038.98,"body":"whole nother conversation of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2038.98,"endTime":2045.52,"body":"sports. But, but but like, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2038.98,"endTime":2045.52,"body":"just I don't see why that I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2045.52,"endTime":2049.6,"body":"don't see why that is needed at"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2045.52,"endTime":2049.6,"body":"especially. I don't see why"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2049.6,"endTime":2053.62,"body":"that's needed. In a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2049.6,"endTime":2053.62,"body":"cases, but or in pretty much all"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2053.62,"endTime":2056.74,"body":"cases, but that's not this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2053.62,"endTime":2056.74,"body":"discussion, but but definitely"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2056.74,"endTime":2062.77,"body":"not for like little kids. So our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2056.74,"endTime":2062.77,"body":"next aspect that we're going to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2062.77,"endTime":2068.2,"body":"cover here is books. One thing"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2062.77,"endTime":2068.2,"body":"that we have really focused on"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2068.2,"endTime":2072.67,"body":"with our agenda creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2068.2,"endTime":2072.67,"body":"parenting is just reading"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2072.67,"endTime":2077.35,"body":"diverse books. Some of that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2072.67,"endTime":2077.35,"body":"means like reading books that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2077.35,"endTime":2080.68,"body":"are actually about gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2077.35,"endTime":2080.68,"body":"diversity, or you know, reading"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2080.68,"endTime":2085.33,"body":"books that are that talk a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2080.68,"endTime":2085.33,"body":"little bit about gender identity"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2086.32,"endTime":2089.62,"body":"on whatever is an age"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2086.32,"endTime":2089.62,"body":"appropriate level, whether it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2089.62,"endTime":2095.02,"body":"a story or or more of kind of a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2089.62,"endTime":2095.02,"body":"conversation around that. And in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2095.02,"endTime":2098.71,"body":"fact, I actually have a actually"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2095.02,"endTime":2098.71,"body":"have a recommendation I meant to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2098.74,"endTime":2101.47,"body":"bring it down but I didn't So"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2098.74,"endTime":2101.47,"body":"I'll just read out the title to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2101.47,"endTime":2105.34,"body":"it. The one our favorite one"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2101.47,"endTime":2105.34,"body":"that we have gone through with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2105.34,"endTime":2108.22,"body":"our kid a lot, and we'll"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2105.34,"endTime":2108.22,"body":"definitely continue to is called"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2108.82,"endTime":2112.96,"body":"being you a first conversation"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2108.82,"endTime":2112.96,"body":"about gender. And it's Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2112.99,"endTime":2114.64,"body":"Iris, you're familiar. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2114.669,"endTime":2116.529,"body":"I love that whole series."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2116.56,"endTime":2118.84,"body":"I love how I was just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2116.56,"endTime":2118.84,"body":"gonna say love the whole series"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2118.84,"endTime":2124.0,"body":"to one about skin color, which"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2118.84,"endTime":2124.0,"body":"is really great as well, that we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2124.0,"endTime":2127.84,"body":"use a lot. And they actually,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2124.0,"endTime":2127.84,"body":"they came out with some more I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2127.84,"endTime":2131.65,"body":"need to check because we we own"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2127.84,"endTime":2131.65,"body":"a couple of them. But I noticed"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2131.65,"endTime":2134.62,"body":"at the library that there are a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2131.65,"endTime":2134.62,"body":"couple more in that same series."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2136.12,"endTime":2138.61,"body":"And it's let's see, there are a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2136.12,"endTime":2138.61,"body":"few different authors. It's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2138.64,"endTime":2144.16,"body":"Meghan Madison, Jessica Raleigh"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2138.64,"endTime":2144.16,"body":"and and slash Andy paths year,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2144.19,"endTime":2147.7,"body":"I'm hoping I'm pronouncing that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2144.19,"endTime":2147.7,"body":"correctly. But that's a really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2147.7,"endTime":2152.23,"body":"great book, it's been a great"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2147.7,"endTime":2152.23,"body":"way to just have even if we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2152.23,"endTime":2154.81,"body":"just looking at a couple pages"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2152.23,"endTime":2154.81,"body":"of it at a time have kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2154.81,"endTime":2157.36,"body":"short conversations with our kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2154.81,"endTime":2157.36,"body":"about gender and an age"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2157.36,"endTime":2161.29,"body":"appropriate way. But we also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2157.36,"endTime":2161.29,"body":"use, you know, different, have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2161.29,"endTime":2165.25,"body":"found different fiction books,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2161.29,"endTime":2165.25,"body":"as well that are just a little"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2165.25,"endTime":2169.96,"body":"more gender diverse. And another"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2165.25,"endTime":2169.96,"body":"thing that that we do a lot that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2169.96,"endTime":2172.96,"body":"I have found really fun is that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2169.96,"endTime":2172.96,"body":"we sometimes just switch up"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2172.96,"endTime":2179.17,"body":"pronouns and books. And and so I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2172.96,"endTime":2179.17,"body":"do this, especially if it's a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2179.17,"endTime":2185.26,"body":"book that's really heavy and one"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2179.17,"endTime":2185.26,"body":"pronoun direction, like, Okay, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2185.26,"endTime":2187.51,"body":"know, I just was like praising"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2185.26,"endTime":2187.51,"body":"this other book, but I will call"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2187.51,"endTime":2189.61,"body":"this one other book out, there's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2187.51,"endTime":2189.61,"body":"this book called goodnight,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2189.61,"endTime":2194.23,"body":"goodnight construction site. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2189.61,"endTime":2194.23,"body":"it's like 10 or 12 different"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2194.23,"endTime":2197.71,"body":"construction vehicles, right?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2194.23,"endTime":2197.71,"body":"And like, all of them, are he?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2198.55,"endTime":2202.27,"body":"And it's just like, why, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2198.55,"endTime":2202.27,"body":"Why do all of the different"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2202.27,"endTime":2204.4,"body":"like, you have all these"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2202.27,"endTime":2204.4,"body":"different examples of, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2204.4,"endTime":2208.21,"body":"the excavator, the bulldozer,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2204.4,"endTime":2208.21,"body":"the crane, you know, like, why"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2208.21,"endTime":2212.14,"body":"do they all need to be he'd"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2208.21,"endTime":2212.14,"body":"like, like, at least throw in a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2212.14,"endTime":2215.29,"body":"sheet. Like, I know that a lot"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2212.14,"endTime":2215.29,"body":"of authors, you know, may not be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2215.29,"endTime":2217.99,"body":"to the point yet that they're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2215.29,"endTime":2217.99,"body":"comfortable with, they although"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2218.02,"endTime":2220.78,"body":"like, I'm definitely looking out"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2218.02,"endTime":2220.78,"body":"for that more, but we switch it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2220.78,"endTime":2225.01,"body":"ourselves, especially if it's a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2220.78,"endTime":2225.01,"body":"book like that, where it's not a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2225.01,"endTime":2229.48,"body":"human character, you know, it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2225.01,"endTime":2229.48,"body":"a bulldozer you know, it can be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2229.48,"endTime":2234.1,"body":"a she, it can be a it can be a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2229.48,"endTime":2234.1,"body":"he it can be whatever. We don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2234.1,"endTime":2237.91,"body":"typically switch gender for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2234.1,"endTime":2237.91,"body":"books that are already gendered"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2237.91,"endTime":2240.49,"body":"characters. You know, like, if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2237.91,"endTime":2240.49,"body":"we're reading Winnie the Pooh,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2240.73,"endTime":2243.82,"body":"Christopher Robin is a he that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2240.73,"endTime":2243.82,"body":"just like how we approach it."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2243.88,"endTime":2248.05,"body":"Yeah. You find, yeah, the ones"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2243.88,"endTime":2248.05,"body":"that where there's, you know, if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2248.05,"endTime":2253.63,"body":"it's anthropomorphize already,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2248.05,"endTime":2253.63,"body":"then like, you can kind of do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2253.63,"endTime":2256.48,"body":"what you want. And we've just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2253.63,"endTime":2256.48,"body":"done that, just so that our kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2256.48,"endTime":2259.9,"body":"is hearing different pronouns."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2256.48,"endTime":2259.9,"body":"And we're not presenting these"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2259.9,"endTime":2266.59,"body":"books that are really pointing"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2259.9,"endTime":2266.59,"body":"in one direction. So you have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2266.59,"endTime":2267.94,"body":"any thoughts on that? Iris?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2268.15,"endTime":2273.43,"body":"Yeah, no, I totally agree"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2268.15,"endTime":2273.43,"body":"with you on so much of that. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2273.46,"endTime":2277.33,"body":"it's so a couple of months ago,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2273.46,"endTime":2277.33,"body":"we had the opportunity to go to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2278.2,"endTime":2283.09,"body":"a weekend retreat with other"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2278.2,"endTime":2283.09,"body":"gender creative families, gender"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2283.09,"endTime":2286.57,"body":"diverse families, in general,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2283.09,"endTime":2286.57,"body":"parents of older trans children"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2286.57,"endTime":2290.95,"body":"and things like that. And one of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2286.57,"endTime":2290.95,"body":"the speakers there was Bobby"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2290.95,"endTime":2294.64,"body":"mccolo, I'm not sure if you're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2290.95,"endTime":2294.64,"body":"familiar with them, but they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2294.64,"endTime":2300.31,"body":"were another one of the folks"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2294.64,"endTime":2300.31,"body":"who really spearheaded this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2300.31,"endTime":2304.93,"body":"movement, you can say, and they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2300.31,"endTime":2304.93,"body":"mentioned that in their"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2305.23,"endTime":2309.7,"body":"workshop. And, you know, they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2305.23,"endTime":2309.7,"body":"were like, we use Neo pronouns"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2309.7,"endTime":2313.06,"body":"and all this stuff. And we found"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2309.7,"endTime":2313.06,"body":"ourselves doing it all the time"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2313.06,"endTime":2316.45,"body":"for every character in every"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2313.06,"endTime":2316.45,"body":"book. And then we realized we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2316.45,"endTime":2321.88,"body":"were never really using she and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2316.45,"endTime":2321.88,"body":"he kind of lost ourselves there."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2322.15,"endTime":2326.38,"body":"So it's funny to kind of hear"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2322.15,"endTime":2326.38,"body":"someone speak about swinging a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2326.38,"endTime":2331.6,"body":"little too far in one direction."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2326.38,"endTime":2331.6,"body":"But I think another thing too,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2331.6,"endTime":2337.78,"body":"is bugs, the characters that are"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2331.6,"endTime":2337.78,"body":"bugs. We are always changing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2337.78,"endTime":2342.73,"body":"those up. Because something to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2337.78,"endTime":2342.73,"body":"Tory lasts me for this and would"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2342.73,"endTime":2347.2,"body":"tell me that I'm overthinking"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2342.73,"endTime":2347.2,"body":"it. But there is a book by Eric"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2347.2,"endTime":2351.64,"body":"Carle, and it's the grouchy"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2347.2,"endTime":2351.64,"body":"Ladybug and the lady bug. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2351.67,"endTime":2354.76,"body":"And the ladybugs the heat. No."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2351.67,"endTime":2354.76,"body":"Is that it? Yeah, the ladybugs"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2354.76,"endTime":2360.91,"body":"the key. And I have this whole"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2354.76,"endTime":2360.91,"body":"like crisis over is the ladybug"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2360.91,"endTime":2368.11,"body":"a boy. Because he's grouchy. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2360.91,"endTime":2368.11,"body":"men are GRE and tough because"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2368.11,"endTime":2370.69,"body":"Ladybug fights everyone in the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2368.11,"endTime":2370.69,"body":"book. You know, right. Everyone"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2370.69,"endTime":2373.03,"body":"who's not a parent listening to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2370.69,"endTime":2373.03,"body":"this, who has no clue what that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2373.03,"endTime":2378.01,"body":"book is, is like, what are you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2373.03,"endTime":2378.01,"body":"all on? You know, we're like, is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2378.01,"endTime":2380.77,"body":"the label good dude, because"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2378.01,"endTime":2380.77,"body":"he's tough and fighting and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2380.77,"endTime":2386.68,"body":"grumpy. Or was Eric Carle like,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2380.77,"endTime":2386.68,"body":"hey, this ladybug. That Ladybug"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2386.68,"endTime":2391.96,"body":"can be a key and really changed"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2386.68,"endTime":2391.96,"body":"it up on us. You know? Those are"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2391.96,"endTime":2394.99,"body":"one of the instances where I'm"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2391.96,"endTime":2394.99,"body":"like, I'm overthinking this. I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2394.99,"endTime":2399.97,"body":"just need to read the book. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2394.99,"endTime":2399.97,"body":"yeah, and we try a lot to get"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2400.63,"endTime":2409.42,"body":"Books for all families, all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2400.63,"endTime":2409.42,"body":"family types. And our we're very"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2409.42,"endTime":2412.84,"body":"lucky because our favorite"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2409.42,"endTime":2412.84,"body":"bookstore has an entire section"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2413.44,"endTime":2419.41,"body":"that keeps growing every time I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2413.44,"endTime":2419.41,"body":"go that is just for queer"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2419.41,"endTime":2424.12,"body":"families and we've got like a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2419.41,"endTime":2424.12,"body":"pronoun book from there. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2424.15,"endTime":2427.69,"body":"just and these are board books"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2424.15,"endTime":2427.69,"body":"like these are for little kids."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2427.87,"endTime":2433.24,"body":"And I love that that is starting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2427.87,"endTime":2433.24,"body":"to be published more and that we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2433.24,"endTime":2436.87,"body":"live in an area where we can"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2433.24,"endTime":2436.87,"body":"find that really easily and have"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2436.87,"endTime":2441.04,"body":"access to it. And I love those"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2436.87,"endTime":2441.04,"body":"my first conversations books,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2441.04,"endTime":2445.66,"body":"because the even the kids and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2441.04,"endTime":2445.66,"body":"the families and the grown ups"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2445.66,"endTime":2450.31,"body":"in those books are they're so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2445.66,"endTime":2450.31,"body":"intentional with the way that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2450.31,"endTime":2455.77,"body":"they look as well. So, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2450.31,"endTime":2455.77,"body":"you can see some of them have"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2455.83,"endTime":2460.69,"body":"this visible disabilities, some"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2455.83,"endTime":2460.69,"body":"of them have, you know, patches"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2460.69,"endTime":2464.65,"body":"on their skin, or you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2460.69,"endTime":2464.65,"body":"things like that. So, some of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2464.65,"endTime":2467.65,"body":"those authors follow us on"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2464.65,"endTime":2467.65,"body":"Instagram, I love them so much."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2467.68,"endTime":2471.79,"body":"And especially my first"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2467.68,"endTime":2471.79,"body":"conversation about gender I give"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2471.79,"endTime":2475.42,"body":"that book to adults, because I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2471.79,"endTime":2475.42,"body":"think everybody should be"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2475.42,"endTime":2477.94,"body":"reading. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2478.3,"endTime":2482.2,"body":"it's a really great book."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2478.3,"endTime":2482.2,"body":"Have you read bodies are cool?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2482.92,"endTime":2488.74,"body":"No, is that bodies are Girl by"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2482.92,"endTime":2488.74,"body":"Tyler for their or feta. I'm not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2488.77,"endTime":2492.64,"body":"100% sure how their last name is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2488.77,"endTime":2492.64,"body":"pronounced, but it's F E D R."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2493.57,"endTime":2498.04,"body":"That book is also really great."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2493.57,"endTime":2498.04,"body":"All about bodies doesn't really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2498.1,"endTime":2501.31,"body":"touch the topic of gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2498.1,"endTime":2501.31,"body":"through the words of the book."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2502.09,"endTime":2505.36,"body":"But definitely the the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2502.09,"endTime":2505.36,"body":"illustrations are wonderful in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2505.36,"endTime":2509.23,"body":"that book. And it shows. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2505.36,"endTime":2509.23,"body":"it shows a lot of different"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2509.23,"endTime":2513.49,"body":"bodies. So it does end up"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2509.23,"endTime":2513.49,"body":"showing a lot of gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2513.49,"endTime":2519.97,"body":"variation. A lot of skin tone"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2513.49,"endTime":2519.97,"body":"variation, a lot of ability"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2519.97,"endTime":2523.42,"body":"variation in like in the book,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2519.97,"endTime":2523.42,"body":"in the just in the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2523.42,"endTime":2527.02,"body":"illustrations, and it's a really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2523.42,"endTime":2527.02,"body":"great, and also kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2527.02,"endTime":2529.75,"body":"snapshots of families and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2527.02,"endTime":2529.75,"body":"different things. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2529.75,"endTime":2532.99,"body":"probably like that book too."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2529.75,"endTime":2532.99,"body":"And, yeah, sounds like that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2532.99,"endTime":2538.33,"body":"bookstore is so cool. They Oh, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2532.99,"endTime":2538.33,"body":"love that probably be surprised."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2538.36,"endTime":2543.76,"body":"I'll look for it next time."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2538.36,"endTime":2543.76,"body":"Yeah, totally, totally. Um,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2544.45,"endTime":2550.9,"body":"let's see the I kind of I had"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2544.45,"endTime":2550.9,"body":"next on the list teaching about"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2550.9,"endTime":2553.72,"body":"gender identity and diversity."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2550.9,"endTime":2553.72,"body":"But we I think we kind of just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2553.72,"endTime":2557.32,"body":"covered that a little bit. You"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2553.72,"endTime":2557.32,"body":"know, beyond that, at this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2557.32,"endTime":2560.68,"body":"point, we're really using those"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2557.32,"endTime":2560.68,"body":"books more. And then also just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2560.68,"endTime":2566.35,"body":"examples of examples of people"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2560.68,"endTime":2566.35,"body":"in our kids life to teach about"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2566.35,"endTime":2570.64,"body":"gender diversity. I mean, the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2566.35,"endTime":2570.64,"body":"main one is definitely like me."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2571.57,"endTime":2576.55,"body":"My wife is sis so like, I am"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2571.57,"endTime":2576.55,"body":"obviously big representation"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2576.55,"endTime":2580.21,"body":"point of someone who is not sis,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2576.55,"endTime":2580.21,"body":"but we also have other friends"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2580.21,"endTime":2587.89,"body":"who are non binary and trans"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2580.21,"endTime":2587.89,"body":"and, and fluid and all of that."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2587.89,"endTime":2591.85,"body":"And so, so yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2587.89,"endTime":2591.85,"body":"obviously just important to with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2593.08,"endTime":2597.34,"body":"representation and awareness."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2593.08,"endTime":2597.34,"body":"Beyond that, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2597.37,"endTime":2601.66,"body":"because of the age of our kid,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2597.37,"endTime":2601.66,"body":"we haven't really gone into much"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2601.69,"endTime":2605.26,"body":"like more conversation than"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2601.69,"endTime":2605.26,"body":"that. That'll all come in due"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2605.26,"endTime":2611.77,"body":"time when he's ready to talk"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2605.26,"endTime":2611.77,"body":"about that more. But I'm, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2611.77,"endTime":2614.95,"body":"I'm curious if you if you guys"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2611.77,"endTime":2614.95,"body":"have I mean, if you've got that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2614.95,"endTime":2617.65,"body":"book. I mean, other than that, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2614.95,"endTime":2617.65,"body":"know your kid is 13 months, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2617.8,"endTime":2621.01,"body":"you have any other thoughts on"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2617.8,"endTime":2621.01,"body":"like, teaching gender identity"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2621.01,"endTime":2621.88,"body":"and diversity?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2622.63,"endTime":2626.65,"body":"I think it really is all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2622.63,"endTime":2626.65,"body":"about piecing together your"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2626.65,"endTime":2631.96,"body":"community well, and who the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2626.65,"endTime":2631.96,"body":"people around your child are."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2631.99,"endTime":2637.42,"body":"And I think of like my nephew,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2631.99,"endTime":2637.42,"body":"this one store. I love to tell I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2637.42,"endTime":2641.26,"body":"think it's such a good example."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2637.42,"endTime":2641.26,"body":"But probably just a couple"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2641.26,"endTime":2648.07,"body":"months after Troyer was born. So"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2641.26,"endTime":2648.07,"body":"I carried them. And we had my"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2648.07,"endTime":2651.73,"body":"nephew in the car, we were going"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2648.07,"endTime":2651.73,"body":"somewhere. And out of nowhere,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2651.76,"endTime":2656.38,"body":"he says Satori. And he calls"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2651.76,"endTime":2656.38,"body":"them toe toe. And he goes toe to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2656.38,"endTime":2664.03,"body":"toe. I thought that you were a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2656.38,"endTime":2664.03,"body":"dad. And Tori was like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2664.06,"endTime":2670.06,"body":"like, let's, let's just talk"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2664.06,"endTime":2670.06,"body":"about it. You're for fun. And,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2670.09,"endTime":2676.12,"body":"you know, it was so cool to hear"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2670.09,"endTime":2676.12,"body":"what went through his mind with"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2676.12,"endTime":2681.79,"body":"that. And why did he think Tory"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2676.12,"endTime":2681.79,"body":"was a dad was it because I was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2681.79,"endTime":2685.63,"body":"pregnant? And I'm the mom and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2681.79,"endTime":2685.63,"body":"Tory was not and Satori is the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2685.63,"endTime":2691.45,"body":"dad or, you know, so we kind of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2685.63,"endTime":2691.45,"body":"got to very lightly touch on how"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2691.57,"endTime":2696.82,"body":"dads can also be pregnant. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2691.57,"endTime":2696.82,"body":"some families don't get pregnant"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2696.82,"endTime":2701.14,"body":"at all and some you know and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2696.82,"endTime":2701.14,"body":"things like that. At, and it was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2701.14,"endTime":2703.66,"body":"so funny that I mean, I just,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2701.14,"endTime":2703.66,"body":"you know, just looking out the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2703.66,"endTime":2708.76,"body":"window like Tulsa, I really"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2703.66,"endTime":2708.76,"body":"thought you were a dad. You"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2708.76,"endTime":2711.79,"body":"know, and then it ended up being"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2708.76,"endTime":2711.79,"body":"such a sweet conversation. So,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2712.78,"endTime":2716.14,"body":"you know, I think those things"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2712.78,"endTime":2716.14,"body":"will also come in time. But we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2716.17,"endTime":2721.09,"body":"we like you also tried to just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2716.17,"endTime":2721.09,"body":"expose them to different people"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2721.09,"endTime":2724.72,"body":"and different experiences like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2721.09,"endTime":2724.72,"body":"they've been to a drag show"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2724.72,"endTime":2730.6,"body":"already, and drag storytime and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2724.72,"endTime":2730.6,"body":"things like that. And, um, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2730.66,"endTime":2731.92,"body":"I'm with you on all of that."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2733.75,"endTime":2737.26,"body":"Nice, yeah, we lucked out,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2733.75,"endTime":2737.26,"body":"we got our kid was able to see"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2737.26,"endTime":2741.52,"body":"drag last year of pride. And I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2737.26,"endTime":2741.52,"body":"don't know, I don't know if it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2741.52,"endTime":2745.21,"body":"going to be around in this state"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2741.52,"endTime":2745.21,"body":"this year when our pride is in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2745.21,"endTime":2747.61,"body":"the fall. And I'm, I don't know"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2745.21,"endTime":2747.61,"body":"if it's going to I don't know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2747.61,"endTime":2750.25,"body":"if they're going to perform"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2747.61,"endTime":2750.25,"body":"publicly right now, in this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2750.25,"endTime":2756.01,"body":"area, drag most of the time is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2750.25,"endTime":2756.01,"body":"all I don't know if it's 18, or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2756.01,"endTime":2758.41,"body":"up or 21. And up, but it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2756.01,"endTime":2758.41,"body":"definitely not they don't, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2758.41,"endTime":2761.71,"body":"know, just I think some of the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2758.41,"endTime":2761.71,"body":"performers have just decided"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2761.95,"endTime":2766.06,"body":"with the current climate that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2761.95,"endTime":2766.06,"body":"they're just not, they just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2766.06,"endTime":2770.41,"body":"don't want to even go start to,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2766.06,"endTime":2770.41,"body":"you know, touch that topic with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2770.41,"endTime":2774.19,"body":"kids. And so they've just kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2770.41,"endTime":2774.19,"body":"of stopped doing the all ages"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2774.19,"endTime":2777.28,"body":"events for now, which is really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2774.19,"endTime":2777.28,"body":"unfortunate, but I was really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2777.28,"endTime":2781.15,"body":"glad that, that he got to see"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2777.28,"endTime":2781.15,"body":"it. Last pride, and that was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2781.15,"endTime":2788.14,"body":"really cool. And he loved it."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2781.15,"endTime":2788.14,"body":"So, so yeah. So I guess the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2788.14,"endTime":2791.11,"body":"other piece with all of this is,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2788.14,"endTime":2791.11,"body":"and we kind of touched on this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2791.11,"endTime":2794.14,"body":"earlier, I think all of us kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2791.11,"endTime":2794.14,"body":"of touched on this earlier, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2794.83,"endTime":2799.57,"body":"just the awareness of gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2794.83,"endTime":2799.57,"body":"coaching. That again, is you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2799.57,"endTime":2805.45,"body":"know, sometimes it's superduper"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2799.57,"endTime":2805.45,"body":"overt, you know, with what a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2805.45,"endTime":2809.89,"body":"pretty little girl or, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2805.45,"endTime":2809.89,"body":"like, hey, tough guy, or, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2809.89,"endTime":2816.79,"body":"know, whatever. Or even, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2809.89,"endTime":2816.79,"body":"know, comments on AI, it seems"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2816.79,"endTime":2821.65,"body":"like, it's a lot of times, girls"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2816.79,"endTime":2821.65,"body":"or kids perceived as girls are,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2821.68,"endTime":2826.09,"body":"you know, it's a lot about their"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2821.68,"endTime":2826.09,"body":"appearance, it's a lot about how"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2826.09,"endTime":2830.56,"body":"they look, you know, and with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2826.09,"endTime":2830.56,"body":"boys or kids who appear as boys"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2830.56,"endTime":2833.74,"body":"or somebody who gender is a kid,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2830.56,"endTime":2833.74,"body":"as a boy, it's more about, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2833.74,"endTime":2840.73,"body":"know, what he's doing and things"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2833.74,"endTime":2840.73,"body":"like that. And then also, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2840.73,"endTime":2843.67,"body":"also, again, obviously, with,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2840.73,"endTime":2843.67,"body":"like, with clothing and toys,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2843.67,"endTime":2846.88,"body":"and what's, you know, considered"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2843.67,"endTime":2846.88,"body":"appropriate, but it's this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2846.91,"endTime":2849.13,"body":"journey of gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2846.91,"endTime":2849.13,"body":"parenting, for me, it's just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2849.13,"endTime":2854.77,"body":"been interesting, just all the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2849.13,"endTime":2854.77,"body":"things that I notice that I may"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2854.77,"endTime":2857.71,"body":"not have, you know, I don't like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2854.77,"endTime":2857.71,"body":"just haven't thought about as"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2857.71,"endTime":2863.29,"body":"much before, even even smaller"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2857.71,"endTime":2863.29,"body":"things of, of, you know, even"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2863.29,"endTime":2866.05,"body":"hearing other conversations that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2863.29,"endTime":2866.05,"body":"people have. And again, I also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2866.05,"endTime":2869.5,"body":"don't, I'm very much agree with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2866.05,"endTime":2869.5,"body":"you, Iris that like Parenting is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2869.59,"endTime":2874.27,"body":"hard. And any of this is like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2869.59,"endTime":2874.27,"body":"in no way a critique of any way"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2874.27,"endTime":2877.75,"body":"that anybody else wants to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2874.27,"endTime":2877.75,"body":"parent. Like, go for it. I do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2877.75,"endTime":2882.76,"body":"not judge this is just how I'm"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2877.75,"endTime":2882.76,"body":"doing it, you know, but, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2882.76,"endTime":2886.18,"body":"yeah, it's just been really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2882.76,"endTime":2886.18,"body":"interesting to notice. All of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2886.18,"endTime":2890.05,"body":"the different, really strong,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2886.18,"endTime":2890.05,"body":"and also really subtle ways."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2890.38,"endTime":2894.76,"body":"That especially like really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2890.38,"endTime":2894.76,"body":"young kids are kind of pushed in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2894.76,"endTime":2901.57,"body":"these directions of the binary"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2894.76,"endTime":2901.57,"body":"of, you know, of boy and girl."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2901.9,"endTime":2907.63,"body":"And, and what, you know, what we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2901.9,"endTime":2907.63,"body":"have done is just tried to I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2907.63,"endTime":2910.12,"body":"mean, a lot of times if we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2907.63,"endTime":2910.12,"body":"with a stranger or something,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2910.12,"endTime":2912.31,"body":"you know, we're at a park and a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2910.12,"endTime":2912.31,"body":"stranger makes a comment, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2912.34,"endTime":2917.68,"body":"a lot of times I will just move"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2912.34,"endTime":2917.68,"body":"on with my day. It is not it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2917.68,"endTime":2920.23,"body":"like I don't I don't want to get"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2917.68,"endTime":2920.23,"body":"into it with anybody it doesn't,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2920.23,"endTime":2923.32,"body":"you know, we just move along."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2920.23,"endTime":2923.32,"body":"And sometimes my kid will say"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2923.32,"endTime":2925.78,"body":"something about it. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2923.32,"endTime":2925.78,"body":"sometimes he won't be says"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2925.78,"endTime":2928.33,"body":"something about it, we'll talk"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2925.78,"endTime":2928.33,"body":"about it. If not, then we just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2928.33,"endTime":2931.36,"body":"let it go. But, but it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2928.33,"endTime":2931.36,"body":"definitely been an interesting"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2931.36,"endTime":2936.25,"body":"thing to to kind of notice that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2931.36,"endTime":2936.25,"body":"is it is just like, constantly"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":2936.25,"endTime":2936.94,"body":"happening."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2939.429,"endTime":2944.739,"body":"I want to kind of bounce"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2939.429,"endTime":2944.739,"body":"off of that too. Because in your"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2944.739,"endTime":2947.589,"body":"notes, your talks that you sent"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2944.739,"endTime":2947.589,"body":"me earlier, you talk a little"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2947.589,"endTime":2951.639,"body":"bit about like behavior"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2947.589,"endTime":2951.639,"body":"expectations. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2951.639,"endTime":2958.449,"body":"is so such a huge part of why we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2951.639,"endTime":2958.449,"body":"are doing what we're doing. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2958.449,"endTime":2963.339,"body":"I think back to my childhood and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2958.449,"endTime":2963.339,"body":"I was listening to you to talk"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2963.339,"endTime":2966.489,"body":"about like sports and music and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2963.339,"endTime":2966.489,"body":"things like that. So I was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2966.489,"endTime":2970.749,"body":"homeschooled and in my"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2966.489,"endTime":2970.749,"body":"homeschool Co Op. Okay. The"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2970.749,"endTime":2976.509,"body":"girls class we stayed inside and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2970.749,"endTime":2976.509,"body":"like made butter in mason jars."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2977.199,"endTime":2981.669,"body":"Like I really can I swear on"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2977.199,"endTime":2981.669,"body":"this. I was about the fair. Yes."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2982.899,"endTime":2989.049,"body":"Yeah, like I shit you not. We"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2982.899,"endTime":2989.049,"body":"sat there making bonnets. We"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2989.979,"endTime":2997.389,"body":"sowed bonnets. We were inside"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2989.979,"endTime":2997.389,"body":"sewing away with our fragile"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2997.389,"endTime":3002.039,"body":"little hands and making soap. I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":2997.389,"endTime":3002.039,"body":"remember that too. We made soap"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3002.039,"endTime":3007.259,"body":"one time, which was probably"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3002.039,"endTime":3007.259,"body":"cool, you know, soap school, but"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3007.529,"endTime":3011.909,"body":"the boys were outside. And they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3007.529,"endTime":3011.909,"body":"were in woodworking class or"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3011.939,"endTime":3019.289,"body":"getting to play soccer or run"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3011.939,"endTime":3019.289,"body":"around and like they got PE and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3019.289,"endTime":3025.769,"body":"we shook a mason jar full of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3019.289,"endTime":3025.769,"body":"heavy cream. So, like right"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3025.769,"endTime":3030.269,"body":"there that was so big for me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3025.769,"endTime":3030.269,"body":"when I knew that we wanted to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3030.269,"endTime":3033.569,"body":"have kids even prior to do"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3030.269,"endTime":3033.569,"body":"creative parenting and having"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3033.569,"endTime":3038.939,"body":"words for it. I was like, That"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3033.569,"endTime":3038.939,"body":"is a big no no for us is these"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3038.939,"endTime":3045.659,"body":"behavior expectations. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3038.939,"endTime":3045.659,"body":"people start that so young, even"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3045.659,"endTime":3049.979,"body":"with like, boys, they took so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3045.659,"endTime":3049.979,"body":"much longer to learn how to walk"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3049.979,"endTime":3055.829,"body":"or girls potty train so fast."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3049.979,"endTime":3055.829,"body":"And I'm like, where are you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3055.829,"endTime":3061.499,"body":"getting that from? Is what I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3055.829,"endTime":3061.499,"body":"would like to know? Where"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3061.529,"endTime":3064.649,"body":"where's the data? I want to talk"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3061.529,"endTime":3064.649,"body":"about this a little more,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3064.649,"endTime":3069.329,"body":"because, um, you know, a year"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3064.649,"endTime":3069.329,"body":"ago, you told me because my"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3069.359,"endTime":3072.779,"body":"stomach was shaped a certain way"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3069.359,"endTime":3072.779,"body":"that I was going to give birth"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3072.779,"endTime":3078.239,"body":"to a female baby. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3072.779,"endTime":3078.239,"body":"now that they're older you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3078.239,"endTime":3082.469,"body":"swear, by the way that they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3078.239,"endTime":3082.469,"body":"learned how to crawl that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3082.469,"endTime":3085.079,"body":"they're a male baby, and then"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3082.469,"endTime":3085.079,"body":"tomorrow, you're gonna tell me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3085.079,"endTime":3089.069,"body":"it's a female again? And then"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3085.079,"endTime":3089.069,"body":"let? Can't you just let it be?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3089.399,"endTime":3093.899,"body":"Can't you just let my kid learn"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3089.399,"endTime":3093.899,"body":"to walk at their own pace, learn"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3093.899,"endTime":3099.269,"body":"to use the potty, at their own"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3093.899,"endTime":3099.269,"body":"pace? Do these things on their"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3099.269,"endTime":3104.699,"body":"own schedule? Besides? I don't"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3099.269,"endTime":3104.699,"body":"know, other than telling them?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3105.299,"endTime":3108.809,"body":"Like, I feel like sometimes"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3105.299,"endTime":3108.809,"body":"parents almost give up on"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3108.809,"endTime":3112.829,"body":"certain things too. Like, Oh,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3108.809,"endTime":3112.829,"body":"boys take so long to potty"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3112.829,"endTime":3115.559,"body":"train. I'm not even, we're not"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3112.829,"endTime":3115.559,"body":"even going to deal with that."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3115.859,"endTime":3120.959,"body":"Or, you know, the girls, they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3115.859,"endTime":3120.959,"body":"grow up to hate their moms. They"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3120.959,"endTime":3124.049,"body":"just do. And you just wait for"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3120.959,"endTime":3124.049,"body":"that, you know, things like why"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3124.049,"endTime":3127.349,"body":"are we setting our kids up for"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3124.049,"endTime":3127.349,"body":"that? Like, why are we having"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3127.349,"endTime":3133.259,"body":"that perspective, even from such"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3127.349,"endTime":3133.259,"body":"a young age? Or, you know, boys"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3133.259,"endTime":3136.649,"body":"are so energetic thing. I'm like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3133.259,"endTime":3136.649,"body":"trying to pull all these little"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3136.649,"endTime":3141.479,"body":"things and right by it is it's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3136.649,"endTime":3141.479,"body":"so bizarre to me. Like where,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3141.659,"endTime":3146.279,"body":"where did we decide where and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3141.659,"endTime":3146.279,"body":"when did we decide that things"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3146.279,"endTime":3149.189,"body":"were going to be this way. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3146.279,"endTime":3149.189,"body":"know we could dive into the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3149.189,"endTime":3155.279,"body":"patriarchy and how these things"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3149.189,"endTime":3155.279,"body":"truly came into play. But that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3155.279,"endTime":3159.659,"body":"is probably the biggest thing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3155.279,"endTime":3159.659,"body":"that blows me away is how people"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3159.719,"endTime":3165.779,"body":"approach behavioral expectations"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3159.719,"endTime":3165.779,"body":"and milestone expectations. In"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3165.779,"endTime":3172.199,"body":"these children who are so young,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3165.779,"endTime":3172.199,"body":"there's so little, and we put"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3172.199,"endTime":3175.409,"body":"that on them already. We put"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3172.199,"endTime":3175.409,"body":"that burden on them at such a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3175.409,"endTime":3179.849,"body":"young age. And I I really"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3175.409,"endTime":3179.849,"body":"appreciate that gender open"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3179.849,"endTime":3185.909,"body":"parenting deconstructs that not"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3179.849,"endTime":3185.909,"body":"only for them, but for me as"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3185.909,"endTime":3194.789,"body":"well in how I how I parent, and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3185.909,"endTime":3194.789,"body":"you know, things that I would"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3194.789,"endTime":3198.599,"body":"never have thought about until"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3194.789,"endTime":3198.599,"body":"like, maybe you can agree that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3198.629,"endTime":3201.509,"body":"do you feel like when you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3198.629,"endTime":3201.509,"body":"committed to this that all of a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3201.509,"endTime":3208.769,"body":"sudden you noticed every gender"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3201.509,"endTime":3208.769,"body":"nuance? And I don't know what"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3208.769,"endTime":3211.829,"body":"that I would have thought about"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3208.769,"endTime":3211.829,"body":"those little things. Even me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3211.859,"endTime":3218.999,"body":"identifying with the trans non"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3211.859,"endTime":3218.999,"body":"binary umbrella. I still don't"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3218.999,"endTime":3223.619,"body":"think I would have caught on to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3218.999,"endTime":3223.619,"body":"these things with kids. And, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3223.619,"endTime":3226.739,"body":"know, sports is a big thing. Why"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3223.619,"endTime":3226.739,"body":"do we split them up in sports at"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3226.739,"endTime":3230.219,"body":"three years old? They're running"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3226.739,"endTime":3230.219,"body":"around a track? Why are we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3231.03,"endTime":3234.567,"body":"like nobody's hitting the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3231.03,"endTime":3234.567,"body":"ball anyway? likely they're all"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3234.629,"endTime":3238.415,"body":"going the wrong way. It's fine."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3234.629,"endTime":3238.415,"body":"You know, it doesn't we don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3238.477,"endTime":3242.263,"body":"need to separate them. But no,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3238.477,"endTime":3242.263,"body":"that's that's really well said"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3242.325,"endTime":3246.11,"body":"though on on, like behavioral"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3242.325,"endTime":3246.11,"body":"expectations. I find that is so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3246.173,"endTime":3250.144,"body":"true. And I think there's a lot"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3246.173,"endTime":3250.144,"body":"to be said, I mean, you you said"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3250.207,"endTime":3253.123,"body":"this, but I just want to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3250.207,"endTime":3253.123,"body":"highlight like the the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3253.186,"endTime":3257.033,"body":"difference in the approach for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3253.186,"endTime":3257.033,"body":"the parent to your relationship"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3257.095,"endTime":3261.129,"body":"to your kid, you know, if you're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3257.095,"endTime":3261.129,"body":"just if you're able to just take"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3261.191,"endTime":3264.543,"body":"that and put it aside and just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3261.191,"endTime":3264.543,"body":"focus on your kid as an"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3264.605,"endTime":3268.08,"body":"individual, instead of your"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3264.605,"endTime":3268.08,"body":"preconceived notions of what"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3268.142,"endTime":3272.176,"body":"they need to act like because of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3268.142,"endTime":3272.176,"body":"their gender. And what you think"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3272.238,"endTime":3276.024,"body":"society is expecting because of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3272.238,"endTime":3276.024,"body":"their gender. It just really,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3276.086,"endTime":3279.5,"body":"really, I don't want to say"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3276.086,"endTime":3279.5,"body":"changes the relationship it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3279.562,"endTime":3283.472,"body":"does, but it really like opens"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3279.562,"endTime":3283.472,"body":"up the relationship. I feel like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3283.534,"endTime":3287.319,"body":"it just allows it to be whatever"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3283.534,"endTime":3287.319,"body":"it is organically outside of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3287.382,"endTime":3291.291,"body":"that which is really, really a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3287.382,"endTime":3291.291,"body":"trip. Rylie, do you have any any"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3291.353,"endTime":3292.409,"body":"thoughts on that?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3293.88,"endTime":3299.43,"body":"Um, I mean, honestly,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3293.88,"endTime":3299.43,"body":"like, I've had honestly so like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3299.43,"endTime":3302.01,"body":"I had thought a little bit ago"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3299.43,"endTime":3302.01,"body":"while you guys were talking"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3302.01,"endTime":3304.68,"body":"about the books and stuff. I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3302.01,"endTime":3304.68,"body":"just want to kind of circle"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3304.68,"endTime":3308.01,"body":"back. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3304.68,"endTime":3308.01,"body":"please. So yeah, no. So it's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3308.01,"endTime":3310.47,"body":"actually kind of just really"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3308.01,"endTime":3310.47,"body":"fascinating how many books and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3310.47,"endTime":3313.53,"body":"things are out now because I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3310.47,"endTime":3313.53,"body":"actually dropped Middle School"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3313.53,"endTime":3317.43,"body":"in high school was a volunteer"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3313.53,"endTime":3317.43,"body":"at my local library. And so I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3317.43,"endTime":3320.34,"body":"actively was every Sunday"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3317.43,"endTime":3320.34,"body":"pulling the books that were put"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3320.34,"endTime":3324.09,"body":"on hold for the like, get to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3320.34,"endTime":3324.09,"body":"sent all over the city to like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3324.09,"endTime":3327.51,"body":"from our library, and I helped"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3324.09,"endTime":3327.51,"body":"other libraries to doing the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3327.51,"endTime":3332.19,"body":"same thing. So like I actively"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3327.51,"endTime":3332.19,"body":"was in the shelves every Sunday."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3332.58,"endTime":3336.63,"body":"And so like these books didn't"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3332.58,"endTime":3336.63,"body":"exist a decade ago, like more"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3336.63,"endTime":3339.99,"body":"than a decade goes. So it's just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3336.63,"endTime":3339.99,"body":"wild to me, like how much has"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3340.08,"endTime":3341.52,"body":"come in the last decade?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3343.83,"endTime":3347.61,"body":"That is, that is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3343.83,"endTime":3347.61,"body":"absolutely true. And it's also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3347.61,"endTime":3350.88,"body":"wild with the with the kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3347.61,"endTime":3350.88,"body":"more recent backlash, like, how"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3350.88,"endTime":3356.28,"body":"many are banned? Yeah. Like all"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3350.88,"endTime":3356.28,"body":"these new books, because it, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3356.28,"endTime":3358.74,"body":"think part of it is, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3356.28,"endTime":3358.74,"body":"and this is the pendulum, the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3358.74,"endTime":3362.46,"body":"pendulum swinging is like, a lot"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3358.74,"endTime":3362.46,"body":"of books came out. And then that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3362.46,"endTime":3367.56,"body":"conservative backlash kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3362.46,"endTime":3367.56,"body":"went along with what was behind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3367.56,"endTime":3371.28,"body":"those books coming out, which is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3367.56,"endTime":3371.28,"body":"more kind of more acceptance of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3371.28,"endTime":3374.34,"body":"gender variance in society and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3371.28,"endTime":3374.34,"body":"kind of this different societal"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3374.34,"endTime":3377.34,"body":"conversation, you know, and then"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3374.34,"endTime":3377.34,"body":"it was like the, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3377.34,"endTime":3380.88,"body":"fists came down to try to try to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3377.34,"endTime":3380.88,"body":"clinch that up. So yeah, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3381.09,"endTime":3383.04,"body":"interesting, too. Because when"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3381.09,"endTime":3383.04,"body":"you look at some of the band"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3383.04,"endTime":3386.31,"body":"lists, it's like, yeah, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3383.04,"endTime":3386.31,"body":"of course, you look at big list"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3386.31,"endTime":3388.74,"body":"of banned books, there's like a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3386.31,"endTime":3388.74,"body":"lot of stuff that's a lot older,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3388.74,"endTime":3393.03,"body":"but especially like gender, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3388.74,"endTime":3393.03,"body":"know, gender variant books, or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3393.03,"endTime":3396.75,"body":"gender diverse books, a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3393.03,"endTime":3396.75,"body":"them are like really recent. So"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3396.78,"endTime":3406.44,"body":"that is, that's really true."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3396.78,"endTime":3406.44,"body":"That's really true. So another"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3406.44,"endTime":3408.99,"body":"aspect of gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3406.44,"endTime":3408.99,"body":"parenting, that's super"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3408.99,"endTime":3417.3,"body":"important for for my family is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3408.99,"endTime":3417.3,"body":"body autonomy. And obviously,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3417.3,"endTime":3421.32,"body":"like, and again, this is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3417.3,"endTime":3421.32,"body":"something that is certainly not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3422.04,"endTime":3424.53,"body":"not only with gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3422.04,"endTime":3424.53,"body":"parenting, and I'll just like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3424.53,"endTime":3427.38,"body":"pause here and say, like a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3424.53,"endTime":3427.38,"body":"gender creative parenting is not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3427.38,"endTime":3431.25,"body":"the only parenting style that I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3427.38,"endTime":3431.25,"body":"do. You know, I think, yeah, a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3431.25,"endTime":3435.51,"body":"lot of our parenting is kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3431.25,"endTime":3435.51,"body":"in the Montessori method,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3435.51,"endTime":3438.06,"body":"although we're not we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3435.51,"endTime":3438.06,"body":"certainly not strict Montessori,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3438.06,"endTime":3442.35,"body":"but, but I mean, that whole idea"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3438.06,"endTime":3442.35,"body":"is child LED. So a lot of people"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3442.35,"endTime":3445.2,"body":"actually think of gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3442.35,"endTime":3445.2,"body":"creative or gender open"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3445.2,"endTime":3449.82,"body":"parenting as kind of following"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3445.2,"endTime":3449.82,"body":"in that, in that, that kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3450.18,"endTime":3456.24,"body":"theory, or that kind of theme."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3450.18,"endTime":3456.24,"body":"But I mean, we also do, we do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3456.24,"endTime":3463.08,"body":"intuitive eating, and we do kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3456.24,"endTime":3463.08,"body":"of losing some other ones. Right"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3463.08,"endTime":3463.98,"body":"now we're doing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3464.46,"endTime":3467.58,"body":"It's respectful parenting,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3464.46,"endTime":3467.58,"body":"yeah"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3467.58,"endTime":3469.74,"body":"it's, um, some people"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3467.58,"endTime":3469.74,"body":"thank you for saying that."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3469.74,"endTime":3473.85,"body":"Because it's the bigger thing is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3469.74,"endTime":3473.85,"body":"it's different names, respectful"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3473.85,"endTime":3476.22,"body":"parenting, or gentle parenting."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3473.85,"endTime":3476.22,"body":"I don't like using gentle"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3476.22,"endTime":3479.01,"body":"parenting, because people if it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3476.22,"endTime":3479.01,"body":"means that you're a pushover,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3479.01,"endTime":3483.33,"body":"and your kid's gonna be a jerk"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3479.01,"endTime":3483.33,"body":"to everybody. And that's not my"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3483.33,"endTime":3486.48,"body":"experience of it at all. In"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3483.33,"endTime":3486.48,"body":"fact, it's I, I usually say"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3486.48,"endTime":3489.24,"body":"conscious parenting, but it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3486.48,"endTime":3489.24,"body":"like it is that respectful"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3489.24,"endTime":3494.07,"body":"parenting. And that is also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3489.24,"endTime":3494.07,"body":"where a lot of the bodily"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3494.07,"endTime":3498.36,"body":"autonomy comes in, as well. But"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3494.07,"endTime":3498.36,"body":"basically, the idea for that is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3498.36,"endTime":3504.45,"body":"that our kid knows the name of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3498.36,"endTime":3504.45,"body":"his anatomical body parts, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3504.45,"endTime":3508.86,"body":"know, all of them, including his"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3504.45,"endTime":3508.86,"body":"genitals, and we do not use"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3508.89,"endTime":3515.1,"body":"nicknames for that. And then all"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3508.89,"endTime":3515.1,"body":"around, we just have a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3515.13,"endTime":3519.27,"body":"different kinds of practices"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3515.13,"endTime":3519.27,"body":"around consent. Sometimes that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3519.27,"endTime":3523.32,"body":"was like, I even really tried to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3519.27,"endTime":3523.32,"body":"do it as a kid. I mean, with a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3523.44,"endTime":3526.77,"body":"with a baby or picking up a baby"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3523.44,"endTime":3526.77,"body":"so much, I don't feel like I did"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3526.77,"endTime":3529.86,"body":"it every time. But I definitely"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3526.77,"endTime":3529.86,"body":"did it as soon as he became a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3529.86,"endTime":3532.56,"body":"toddler, and that was, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3529.86,"endTime":3532.56,"body":"he's moved around more and stuff"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3532.56,"endTime":3535.98,"body":"that if I needed to find needed"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3532.56,"endTime":3535.98,"body":"to pick him up, I would actually"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3535.98,"endTime":3538.83,"body":"say that, you know, I would say,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3535.98,"endTime":3538.83,"body":"Hey, I'm like, I'm gonna pick"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3538.83,"endTime":3541.8,"body":"you up. Now. Part of that is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3538.83,"endTime":3541.8,"body":"like, you know, with that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3542.04,"endTime":3544.53,"body":"respectful parenting is like, if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3542.04,"endTime":3544.53,"body":"you're trying to leave the park"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3544.53,"endTime":3546.93,"body":"and a kid doesn't want to leave"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3544.53,"endTime":3546.93,"body":"the park, you know, you give"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3546.93,"endTime":3549.06,"body":"them a chance to get up and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3546.93,"endTime":3549.06,"body":"leave the park on their own. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3549.06,"endTime":3551.4,"body":"if they can't, then you say,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3549.06,"endTime":3551.4,"body":"Okay, I see you're having a hard"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3551.4,"endTime":3553.56,"body":"time moving. Now I'm going to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3551.4,"endTime":3553.56,"body":"pick you up and move you, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3553.56,"endTime":3557.52,"body":"know, but, but basically just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3553.56,"endTime":3557.52,"body":"communicating before that, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3557.52,"endTime":3561.33,"body":"even when, you know, even if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3557.52,"endTime":3561.33,"body":"it's like getting dressed or in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3561.33,"endTime":3564.27,"body":"the bath, or you know, going"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3561.33,"endTime":3564.27,"body":"potty or whatever, actually,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3564.27,"endTime":3566.94,"body":"like, let him know, like, Hey,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3564.27,"endTime":3566.94,"body":"we're gonna put on your shirt"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3566.94,"endTime":3570.03,"body":"now, you know, like, okay,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3566.94,"endTime":3570.03,"body":"we're, you know, like, I'm going"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3570.03,"endTime":3572.55,"body":"to tell you off now, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3570.03,"endTime":3572.55,"body":"things like that, and also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3572.55,"endTime":3579.51,"body":"giving him a chance to, like, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3572.55,"endTime":3579.51,"body":"can't say say no, because it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3579.51,"endTime":3582.9,"body":"like, you know, you got to take"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3579.51,"endTime":3582.9,"body":"a bath, right? But, but like, if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3582.93,"endTime":3585.87,"body":"if he is basically telling me"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3582.93,"endTime":3585.87,"body":"like, you know, he doesn't want"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3585.87,"endTime":3589.26,"body":"to be picked up. If I can avoid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3585.87,"endTime":3589.26,"body":"it, I will avoid it. You know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3589.26,"endTime":3592.62,"body":"like, I mean, if it's really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3589.26,"endTime":3592.62,"body":"time to leave the park, and I've"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3592.62,"endTime":3595.05,"body":"given him a chance to walk out"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3592.62,"endTime":3595.05,"body":"on his own, then I'm probably"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3595.05,"endTime":3598.29,"body":"going to chuck them over my"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3595.05,"endTime":3598.29,"body":"shoulder and go, but at least"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3598.29,"endTime":3601.74,"body":"like I'm at least telling him"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3598.29,"endTime":3601.74,"body":"like I I hear you, but like, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3601.74,"endTime":3605.85,"body":"gotta go now, but just really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3601.74,"endTime":3605.85,"body":"trying to build in more consent"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3605.88,"endTime":3608.85,"body":"around body boundaries. And a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3605.88,"endTime":3608.85,"body":"big thing with that for us is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3609.27,"endTime":3613.53,"body":"we've been really big on not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3609.27,"endTime":3613.53,"body":"having to show displays of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3613.53,"endTime":3617.22,"body":"affection with people, and they"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3613.53,"endTime":3617.22,"body":"including ours, you know, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3617.22,"endTime":3621.33,"body":"not know when, when we're saying"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3617.22,"endTime":3621.33,"body":"hello and goodbye to people,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3621.36,"endTime":3624.15,"body":"even if you know if it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3621.36,"endTime":3624.15,"body":"friends, even if it's family,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3624.24,"endTime":3628.23,"body":"even if it's me, even if I'm"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3624.24,"endTime":3628.23,"body":"like, I'm gonna go to work now."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3628.44,"endTime":3631.8,"body":"Do you want a hug? If he says"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3628.44,"endTime":3631.8,"body":"no, I'm like, Okay, I'll wave."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3631.83,"endTime":3634.38,"body":"See you later, have a good day,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3631.83,"endTime":3634.38,"body":"you know, or sometimes I don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3634.38,"endTime":3636.39,"body":"even offer the hug. I'm just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3634.38,"endTime":3636.39,"body":"like, hey, do you want a fist"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3636.39,"endTime":3640.5,"body":"bump? You know, do you want to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3636.39,"endTime":3640.5,"body":"high five or whatever. And, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3640.5,"endTime":3643.77,"body":"that feels really awesome in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3640.5,"endTime":3643.77,"body":"that way. Because I know that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3643.77,"endTime":3648.15,"body":"when my kid wants that, wants to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3643.77,"endTime":3648.15,"body":"connect with me, like wants a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3648.15,"endTime":3651.87,"body":"hug, like he really wants it,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3648.15,"endTime":3651.87,"body":"you know, because I've given him"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3651.87,"endTime":3656.04,"body":"that space to like to say no,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3651.87,"endTime":3656.04,"body":"and I've given him that space to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3656.04,"endTime":3659.43,"body":"like, ask for it himself. And so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3656.04,"endTime":3659.43,"body":"it feels really good to me that,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3659.61,"endTime":3663.69,"body":"that I'm like, you know, I know"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3659.61,"endTime":3663.69,"body":"that that's not being pushed on"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3663.69,"endTime":3667.47,"body":"him. Sometimes it can be a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3663.69,"endTime":3667.47,"body":"little tricky with, you know, a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3667.47,"endTime":3670.38,"body":"certain people or like certain"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3667.47,"endTime":3670.38,"body":"family that might expect that or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3670.38,"endTime":3673.92,"body":"just be used to that from their"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3670.38,"endTime":3673.92,"body":"own patterns, but not something"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3673.92,"endTime":3677.7,"body":"that you work through. So"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3673.92,"endTime":3677.7,"body":"anyway, what Iris, do you have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3677.7,"endTime":3678.6,"body":"any thoughts on that?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3679.139,"endTime":3682.259,"body":"Yeah, and you know, I just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3679.139,"endTime":3682.259,"body":"want to really applaud you on"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3682.259,"endTime":3685.709,"body":"that. Because obviously, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3682.259,"endTime":3685.709,"body":"have an older kid than I do. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3685.739,"endTime":3691.919,"body":"it it just gets more challenging"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3685.739,"endTime":3691.919,"body":"to stay in in those philosophies"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3691.919,"endTime":3696.839,"body":"as they get older. And I think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3691.919,"endTime":3696.839,"body":"it's a really beautiful thing,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3696.869,"endTime":3700.559,"body":"what you are doing what I am"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3696.869,"endTime":3700.559,"body":"doing, what truly a lot of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3700.679,"endTime":3706.619,"body":"parents in our generation are"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3700.679,"endTime":3706.619,"body":"now doing is we're just, I'm"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3706.619,"endTime":3709.769,"body":"coming at it from this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3706.619,"endTime":3709.769,"body":"perspective of they don't owe me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3709.769,"endTime":3714.749,"body":"anything, they don't owe me what"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3709.769,"endTime":3714.749,"body":"people perceive as, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3714.749,"endTime":3720.539,"body":"good behavior, quote, unquote,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3714.749,"endTime":3720.539,"body":"they don't owe me a certain"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3720.539,"endTime":3725.369,"body":"gender, they don't owe me a hug,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3720.539,"endTime":3725.369,"body":"they don't owe me going to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3725.369,"endTime":3728.489,"body":"college, they don't owe me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3725.369,"endTime":3728.489,"body":"spending time with me, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3728.489,"endTime":3732.089,"body":"and I'm kind of coming at it all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3728.489,"endTime":3732.089,"body":"from that perspective, which I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3732.089,"endTime":3736.229,"body":"think ties in so much to this"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3732.089,"endTime":3736.229,"body":"conscious parenting, I love"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3736.229,"endTime":3740.849,"body":"that. And even gender open"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3736.229,"endTime":3740.849,"body":"parenting in the way that we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3740.849,"endTime":3746.399,"body":"approach that is, like we are,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3740.849,"endTime":3746.399,"body":"we are giving this to you and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3746.429,"endTime":3750.359,"body":"take what you want from it. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3746.429,"endTime":3750.359,"body":"this is, this is how we want to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3750.359,"endTime":3755.969,"body":"approach it with you. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3750.359,"endTime":3755.969,"body":"really just really appreciate"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3755.969,"endTime":3759.389,"body":"that when I can hear that from"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3755.969,"endTime":3759.389,"body":"another parent of an older child"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3759.389,"endTime":3765.389,"body":"and know that you're fighting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3759.389,"endTime":3765.389,"body":"the good fight. And I think that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3765.389,"endTime":3768.749,"body":"our kids will have such a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3765.389,"endTime":3768.749,"body":"different experience than we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3768.749,"endTime":3776.129,"body":"did. And a lot of our generation"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3768.749,"endTime":3776.129,"body":"did. So I am, I'm on it with"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3776.129,"endTime":3780.449,"body":"you, like in the same approach"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3776.129,"endTime":3780.449,"body":"to things, everything is very"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3780.449,"endTime":3785.549,"body":"much child lead. And, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3780.449,"endTime":3785.549,"body":"there are things that like we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3785.579,"endTime":3790.049,"body":"talked and I talked about how"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3785.579,"endTime":3790.049,"body":"when they're older, maybe even"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3790.049,"endTime":3794.699,"body":"now, like in this season of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3790.049,"endTime":3794.699,"body":"toddlerhood that we're getting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3794.699,"endTime":3798.329,"body":"into is there are times when"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3794.699,"endTime":3798.329,"body":"they'll be allowed to make a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3798.329,"endTime":3802.379,"body":"decision for themselves. There"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3798.329,"endTime":3802.379,"body":"will be times when we all will"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3802.379,"endTime":3806.819,"body":"need to discuss the decision."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3802.379,"endTime":3806.819,"body":"And there will be times when we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3806.819,"endTime":3809.789,"body":"as your parents just have to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3806.819,"endTime":3809.789,"body":"make that decision for you. And"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3809.789,"endTime":3812.759,"body":"we'll talk about it and we'll"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3809.789,"endTime":3812.759,"body":"talk you through it and give you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3812.759,"endTime":3816.179,"body":"our reasoning it's not going to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3812.759,"endTime":3816.179,"body":"be a because we said so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3816.449,"endTime":3822.839,"body":"situation. But I really think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3816.449,"endTime":3822.839,"body":"that gender creative parenting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3822.869,"endTime":3826.619,"body":"is a part of all of that is a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3822.869,"endTime":3826.619,"body":"part of this respectful"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3826.619,"endTime":3834.719,"body":"parenting movement in general."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3826.619,"endTime":3834.719,"body":"Because like I said, it's all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3834.779,"endTime":3838.679,"body":"child lead in the way that we're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3834.779,"endTime":3838.679,"body":"approaching this. So wouldn't"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3838.679,"endTime":3843.659,"body":"that also, you know, bring in"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3838.679,"endTime":3843.659,"body":"this crazy idea of not assigning"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3843.659,"endTime":3848.009,"body":"a gender to our child and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3843.659,"endTime":3848.009,"body":"letting them show us the way"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3848.039,"endTime":3852.269,"body":"with who they are and what they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3848.039,"endTime":3852.269,"body":"want to do and, and all that so"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3852.299,"endTime":3856.979,"body":"yeah, 100% agree with you on all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3852.299,"endTime":3856.979,"body":"of that and especially when it"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3856.979,"endTime":3859.739,"body":"comes to talking about our"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3856.979,"endTime":3859.739,"body":"bodies and our body parts I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3859.739,"endTime":3867.899,"body":"think that is Safety First of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3859.739,"endTime":3867.899,"body":"all being aware of the correct"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3867.899,"endTime":3875.279,"body":"language for every body part."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3867.899,"endTime":3875.279,"body":"And I also think that gives them"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3875.309,"endTime":3879.719,"body":"a little bit more control"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3875.309,"endTime":3879.719,"body":"autonomy over themselves to know"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3880.049,"endTime":3883.649,"body":"this is my body. These are the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3880.049,"endTime":3883.649,"body":"parts that I get to share with"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3883.649,"endTime":3886.709,"body":"other people if I want to high"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3883.649,"endTime":3886.709,"body":"five them, you know or if I want"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3886.709,"endTime":3890.519,"body":"to hug them, but I also don't"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3886.709,"endTime":3890.519,"body":"have to do any of that either."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3890.549,"endTime":3896.969,"body":"And I can say no if someone is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3890.549,"endTime":3896.969,"body":"trying to I don't know take me"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3896.969,"endTime":3900.629,"body":"to the potty and I would rather"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3896.969,"endTime":3900.629,"body":"my mom take me The potty, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3900.629,"endTime":3903.359,"body":"know, things like that. It's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3900.629,"endTime":3903.359,"body":"just all about giving our"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3903.359,"endTime":3908.909,"body":"children the tools to figure"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3903.359,"endTime":3908.909,"body":"that out and be able to make"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3908.909,"endTime":3914.729,"body":"those decisions. And I think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3908.909,"endTime":3914.729,"body":"it's the same thing with gender."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3914.729,"endTime":3918.959,"body":"And the way that we're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3914.729,"endTime":3918.959,"body":"approaching this with them is we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3918.959,"endTime":3921.869,"body":"are just handing them the tools,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3918.959,"endTime":3921.869,"body":"and they're gonna put it"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3921.869,"endTime":3924.629,"body":"together and figure it out. So"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":3921.869,"endTime":3924.629,"body":"yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3926.28,"endTime":3929.46,"body":"absolutely. Rally, do you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3926.28,"endTime":3929.46,"body":"have any thoughts on any of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":3929.46,"endTime":3929.94,"body":"that?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3931.92,"endTime":3934.56,"body":"You know, it's just kind"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3931.92,"endTime":3934.56,"body":"of funny, some of the things"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3934.56,"endTime":3937.53,"body":"that Iris was saying, that kind"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3934.56,"endTime":3937.53,"body":"of just triggered a little bit"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3937.53,"endTime":3939.99,"body":"of not bad triggered, but like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3937.53,"endTime":3939.99,"body":"obviously triggered just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3940.02,"endTime":3944.31,"body":"memories here. Like just my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3940.02,"endTime":3944.31,"body":"parents talking to me in recent"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3944.7,"endTime":3950.34,"body":"months, about how their"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3944.7,"endTime":3950.34,"body":"expectations of us kids have"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3950.34,"endTime":3954.24,"body":"changed since the passing of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3950.34,"endTime":3954.24,"body":"their parents, because they were"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3954.24,"endTime":3957.12,"body":"full time caregivers for both"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3954.24,"endTime":3957.12,"body":"their mothers for a while,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3957.12,"endTime":3961.5,"body":"actually. And so like, just the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3957.12,"endTime":3961.5,"body":"expectation of like, what's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3961.5,"endTime":3964.86,"body":"coming for us kids, after, you"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3961.5,"endTime":3964.86,"body":"know what they've had to go"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3964.86,"endTime":3968.37,"body":"through with all that. And just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3964.86,"endTime":3968.37,"body":"like what they're expecting,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3969.39,"endTime":3973.92,"body":"from even the grandchildren and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3969.39,"endTime":3973.92,"body":"the other children, and how they"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3973.92,"endTime":3977.55,"body":"are, because my parents, not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3973.92,"endTime":3977.55,"body":"amongst all of the other castes,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3977.55,"endTime":3980.58,"body":"they had going on with my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3977.55,"endTime":3980.58,"body":"grandmother's, they also were"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3980.61,"endTime":3985.26,"body":"caregivers to one of my cousins"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3980.61,"endTime":3985.26,"body":"and my niece as well. So like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3985.29,"endTime":3991.89,"body":"they don't full house. And so"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3985.29,"endTime":3991.89,"body":"like, even amongst dealing with"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3991.92,"endTime":3995.64,"body":"the elderly grandmothers, and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3991.92,"endTime":3995.64,"body":"having two children that are of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3995.64,"endTime":3998.97,"body":"elementary school age, in the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3995.64,"endTime":3998.97,"body":"house at the same time, and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3998.97,"endTime":4002.84,"body":"having to parent that while also"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":3998.97,"endTime":4002.84,"body":"dealing with, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4002.84,"endTime":4005.75,"body":"grandmothers and all that. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4002.84,"endTime":4005.75,"body":"like, it's just really"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4005.75,"endTime":4009.29,"body":"interesting, just to see how"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4005.75,"endTime":4009.29,"body":"they've been even almost getting"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4009.29,"endTime":4013.16,"body":"like a second chance at"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4009.29,"endTime":4013.16,"body":"parenting again, with my cousin"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4013.16,"endTime":4015.83,"body":"and my niece, and just how"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4013.16,"endTime":4015.83,"body":"they've been, you know,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4015.92,"endTime":4018.26,"body":"interacting with that and how"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4015.92,"endTime":4018.26,"body":"they've been going about it,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4018.26,"endTime":4021.2,"body":"especially because my niece was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4018.26,"endTime":4021.2,"body":"born during my senior year of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4021.2,"endTime":4024.92,"body":"high school when I began my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4021.2,"endTime":4024.92,"body":"social transition. So like how"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4024.92,"endTime":4028.52,"body":"my parents have been dealing"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4024.92,"endTime":4028.52,"body":"with all that regarding her, and"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4028.52,"endTime":4031.58,"body":"then when my cousin came into"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4028.52,"endTime":4031.58,"body":"the picture, for them having"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4031.58,"endTime":4035.33,"body":"custody of him, and just how"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4031.58,"endTime":4035.33,"body":"they've gone about trying to"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4035.36,"endTime":4040.04,"body":"continue being, I guess, not as"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4035.36,"endTime":4040.04,"body":"structured with the gender"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4040.04,"endTime":4042.89,"body":"roles, I guess, as much so even"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4040.04,"endTime":4042.89,"body":"though like, you know, they,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4042.95,"endTime":4046.07,"body":"they fall in a little bit into"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4042.95,"endTime":4046.07,"body":"it, because of going into public"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4046.07,"endTime":4051.44,"body":"school and just how children"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4046.07,"endTime":4051.44,"body":"are. So you know, just the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4051.44,"endTime":4054.89,"body":"expectations that public school"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4051.44,"endTime":4054.89,"body":"kids especially have when"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4054.92,"endTime":4058.4,"body":"they're interacting with each"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4054.92,"endTime":4058.4,"body":"other. But you know, just like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4058.52,"endTime":4063.5,"body":"seeing how that they go through"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4058.52,"endTime":4063.5,"body":"the world, and with all the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4063.68,"endTime":4070.55,"body":"aspects of even with the sort of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4063.68,"endTime":4070.55,"body":"gender creative parenting that I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4070.55,"endTime":4073.55,"body":"got to sort of experience"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4070.55,"endTime":4073.55,"body":"growing up and seeing them get"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4073.55,"endTime":4077.18,"body":"to go through, and a different"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4073.55,"endTime":4077.18,"body":"sort of aspect now, it's just"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4077.18,"endTime":4080.57,"body":"kind of interesting to see how"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4077.18,"endTime":4080.57,"body":"it all kind of plays out. You"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4080.57,"endTime":4080.96,"body":"know?"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4082.52,"endTime":4085.16,"body":"Yeah, it definitely. I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4082.52,"endTime":4085.16,"body":"mean, it definitely, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4086.21,"endTime":4089.39,"body":"interesting. And sounds like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4086.21,"endTime":4089.39,"body":"obviously, your parents are"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4089.39,"endTime":4093.2,"body":"taking on a lot of caregiving"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4089.39,"endTime":4093.2,"body":"all around. But that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4093.23,"endTime":4098.48,"body":"interesting, I think, for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4093.23,"endTime":4098.48,"body":"anybody to, I can't say this"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4098.48,"endTime":4101.0,"body":"from personal experience, but it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4098.48,"endTime":4101.0,"body":"sounds interesting for anybody"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4101.0,"endTime":4104.12,"body":"to like, have gone through"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4101.0,"endTime":4104.12,"body":"parenting with kids, and then"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4104.12,"endTime":4107.45,"body":"later in life, you know, go"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4104.12,"endTime":4107.45,"body":"through that again, and in a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4107.45,"endTime":4110.18,"body":"little bit of a different way,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4107.45,"endTime":4110.18,"body":"but, but also from a different"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4110.18,"endTime":4115.13,"body":"perspective. Because, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4110.18,"endTime":4115.13,"body":"parents are 100%, like learning"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4116.0,"endTime":4121.4,"body":"all the way. Yeah. And, and so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4116.0,"endTime":4121.4,"body":"that's and, you know, also like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4121.43,"endTime":4124.01,"body":"as culture has shifted, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4121.43,"endTime":4124.01,"body":"everything, and as their"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4124.01,"endTime":4127.37,"body":"relationships have shifted, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4124.01,"endTime":4127.37,"body":"like, they have a trans son, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4127.37,"endTime":4130.52,"body":"that's, you know, gotta have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4127.37,"endTime":4130.52,"body":"shifted some ideas of their own"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4130.52,"endTime":4135.26,"body":"ideas of gender and like that."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4130.52,"endTime":4135.26,"body":"So, yeah, that's interesting,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4135.26,"endTime":4138.29,"body":"just to, to note that, that you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4135.26,"endTime":4138.29,"body":"see that shift,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4138.89,"endTime":4142.838,"body":"and something that that we"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4138.89,"endTime":4142.838,"body":"feel a lot with, like through"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4142.909,"endTime":4147.069,"body":"our Instagram and having the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4142.909,"endTime":4147.069,"body":"opportunity to talk with other"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4147.14,"endTime":4150.877,"body":"people and hear their"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4147.14,"endTime":4150.877,"body":"experiences. And a lot of it is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4150.947,"endTime":4154.825,"body":"like, you know, a couple"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4150.947,"endTime":4154.825,"body":"sentences in the comments. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4154.896,"endTime":4159.056,"body":"we see so much people will"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4154.896,"endTime":4159.056,"body":"comment and say, like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4159.127,"endTime":4163.428,"body":"I wish I knew what this was when"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4159.127,"endTime":4163.428,"body":"I was raising my kids. But I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4163.498,"endTime":4167.8,"body":"think that I kind of did that."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4163.498,"endTime":4167.8,"body":"And I love to affirm that with"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4167.87,"endTime":4172.101,"body":"people because it is so much"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4167.87,"endTime":4172.101,"body":"more than pronouns, which a lot"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4172.172,"endTime":4176.473,"body":"of people just are like, what is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4172.172,"endTime":4176.473,"body":"this they then thing and I'm"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4176.543,"endTime":4180.915,"body":"like, it's it's that but it's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4176.543,"endTime":4180.915,"body":"also not. It's also so much more"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4180.986,"endTime":4185.498,"body":"beyond that and everything we've"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4180.986,"endTime":4185.498,"body":"discussed tonight so far. And I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4185.569,"endTime":4190.011,"body":"always am trying to affirm that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4185.569,"endTime":4190.011,"body":"in people like you are probably"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4190.082,"endTime":4194.383,"body":"doing this, even if you don't"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4190.082,"endTime":4194.383,"body":"realize it or if you think that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4194.454,"endTime":4198.402,"body":"you were doing that in the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4194.454,"endTime":4198.402,"body":"stories that you're retelling"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4198.473,"endTime":4202.563,"body":"about how you raise your kids"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4198.473,"endTime":4202.563,"body":"like yes, you We're doing it"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4202.633,"endTime":4206.864,"body":"awesome, you know, and it, it"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4202.633,"endTime":4206.864,"body":"doesn't have to be this, like,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4206.934,"endTime":4211.377,"body":"you know, you get one chance and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4206.934,"endTime":4211.377,"body":"you do it or you don't like, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4211.447,"endTime":4215.819,"body":"think that, you know, my I use"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4211.447,"endTime":4215.819,"body":"my sister is a great example of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4215.89,"endTime":4220.05,"body":"this. Because she raised my"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4215.89,"endTime":4220.05,"body":"nephew with gender pronouns and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4220.12,"endTime":4224.704,"body":"things like that. But he also is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4220.12,"endTime":4224.704,"body":"fully aware that he gets to pick"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4224.774,"endTime":4228.723,"body":"out all his clothes. At any"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4224.774,"endTime":4228.723,"body":"given time, if you wanted to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4228.793,"endTime":4232.813,"body":"talk a little bit more about"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4228.793,"endTime":4232.813,"body":"gender pronouns, he knows he"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4232.883,"endTime":4237.184,"body":"can. And he understands that,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4232.883,"endTime":4237.184,"body":"you know, he doesn't have to be"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4237.255,"endTime":4241.486,"body":"rough and tumble, he's allowed"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4237.255,"endTime":4241.486,"body":"to cry, you know, things like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4241.556,"endTime":4245.646,"body":"that. And she would never have"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4241.556,"endTime":4245.646,"body":"labeled herself as a gender"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4245.716,"endTime":4249.806,"body":"creative parent. But yet, she"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4245.716,"endTime":4249.806,"body":"has been one. And so I think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4249.877,"endTime":4254.107,"body":"that's really neat that you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4249.877,"endTime":4254.107,"body":"share that Rylie in your parents"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4254.178,"endTime":4258.127,"body":"having this like, second go"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4254.178,"endTime":4258.127,"body":"about it, and how, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4258.197,"endTime":4262.428,"body":"their thoughts and perspectives"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4258.197,"endTime":4262.428,"body":"have changed. So, but I hear"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4262.498,"endTime":4266.729,"body":"that a lot with parents who have"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4262.498,"endTime":4266.729,"body":"raised children who are now"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4266.8,"endTime":4271.242,"body":"older, they get to kind of look"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4266.8,"endTime":4271.242,"body":"back and say, I think I kind of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4271.313,"endTime":4275.684,"body":"did that. And am I allowed to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4271.313,"endTime":4275.684,"body":"pat myself on the back for that?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4275.755,"endTime":4279.14,"body":"And I'm like, Yes, hell yes, you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4275.755,"endTime":4279.14,"body":"are. Please do."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4280.01,"endTime":4280.85,"body":"Yeah, absolutely."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":4281.21,"endTime":4282.71,"body":"No time. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4284.0,"endTime":4287.27,"body":"Yeah, exactly. Yes,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4284.0,"endTime":4287.27,"body":"please, parents pat yourself on"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4287.27,"endTime":4291.11,"body":"the back for anything. Anything"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4287.27,"endTime":4291.11,"body":"you you feel good about? Because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4291.26,"endTime":4293.96,"body":"because it can be tough. But"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4291.26,"endTime":4293.96,"body":"yeah, and that was even"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4293.96,"endTime":4296.6,"body":"mentioned, even brought up a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4293.96,"endTime":4296.6,"body":"little bit in the last episode,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4297.02,"endTime":4301.07,"body":"about, you know, from some"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4297.02,"endTime":4301.07,"body":"parents of trans kids. And, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4301.07,"endTime":4304.13,"body":"some of them, you know, even"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4301.07,"endTime":4304.13,"body":"mentioned that they they did"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4304.13,"endTime":4307.91,"body":"this some, like some aspects of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4304.13,"endTime":4307.91,"body":"it, like, you know, color"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4307.94,"endTime":4312.92,"body":"choosing and things like that,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4307.94,"endTime":4312.92,"body":"for sure. And it's, and I think"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4312.92,"endTime":4316.58,"body":"that there is so much more to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4312.92,"endTime":4316.58,"body":"gender, creative parenting van"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4316.58,"endTime":4320.99,"body":"pronouns. And I was talking to a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4316.58,"endTime":4320.99,"body":"friend of mine who just recently"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4320.99,"endTime":4326.66,"body":"had a kid and was talking to her"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4320.99,"endTime":4326.66,"body":"about about this, and, and kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4326.66,"endTime":4330.02,"body":"of mentioning like, hey, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4326.66,"endTime":4330.02,"body":"because something she was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4330.02,"endTime":4332.48,"body":"interested in, and the pronouns"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4330.02,"endTime":4332.48,"body":"were kind of, she was like, oh,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4332.48,"endTime":4335.12,"body":"that's, you know, that's a lot."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4332.48,"endTime":4335.12,"body":"And I was like, Yeah, well, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4335.12,"endTime":4337.97,"body":"know, you don't, you don't have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4335.12,"endTime":4337.97,"body":"to do it, like, you know, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4337.97,"endTime":4341.27,"body":"just do what feels right. You"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4337.97,"endTime":4341.27,"body":"don't have to do any of this."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4341.27,"endTime":4345.98,"body":"But yeah, like, hey, like, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4341.27,"endTime":4345.98,"body":"know, take from this, what, what"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4345.98,"endTime":4351.26,"body":"fits for you. But that is a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4345.98,"endTime":4351.26,"body":"really good segue into the next"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4351.26,"endTime":4356.3,"body":"little aspect, which is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4351.26,"endTime":4356.3,"body":"pronouns. So, so my story of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4356.3,"endTime":4363.38,"body":"this is like, so when, because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4356.3,"endTime":4363.38,"body":"we, we had not planned on, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4363.38,"endTime":4366.65,"body":"didn't have the term for gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4363.38,"endTime":4366.65,"body":"creative parenting before. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4366.65,"endTime":4368.6,"body":"in certain ways, I kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4366.65,"endTime":4368.6,"body":"wished that we did, but we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4368.6,"endTime":4372.05,"body":"didn't. And so when our kid was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4368.6,"endTime":4372.05,"body":"born, we did you know, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4373.22,"endTime":4379.25,"body":"announced his assigned sex and,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4373.22,"endTime":4379.25,"body":"and for several months, people"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4379.25,"endTime":4384.23,"body":"were using those pronouns, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4379.25,"endTime":4384.23,"body":"then, and then we decided to do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4384.23,"endTime":4386.57,"body":"gender creative parenting, or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4384.23,"endTime":4386.57,"body":"really looked into it. And when,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4386.6,"endTime":4389.9,"body":"when we took the time to look"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4386.6,"endTime":4389.9,"body":"into it, and had a big"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4389.9,"endTime":4392.6,"body":"conversation about it, it was,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4389.9,"endTime":4392.6,"body":"for us, it was going to be a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4392.6,"endTime":4395.93,"body":"shift because we were shifting"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4392.6,"endTime":4395.93,"body":"to they them pronouns for our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4395.93,"endTime":4401.09,"body":"kid. And that was really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4395.93,"endTime":4401.09,"body":"important to us. And it you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4401.09,"endTime":4403.67,"body":"know, we thought about it and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4401.09,"endTime":4403.67,"body":"talked about it and read about"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4403.67,"endTime":4407.24,"body":"it for a while before we decided"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4403.67,"endTime":4407.24,"body":"to do it. But to me, it was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4407.24,"endTime":4409.7,"body":"really important for the way"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4407.24,"endTime":4409.7,"body":"that we wanted to do it for that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4409.7,"endTime":4417.47,"body":"kind of that kind of clean slate"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4409.7,"endTime":4417.47,"body":"for our kid. And so we did that,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4417.47,"endTime":4422.84,"body":"and I think our kid was it, he"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4417.47,"endTime":4422.84,"body":"must have been a little under a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4422.87,"endTime":4425.39,"body":"little under one, or maybe like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4422.87,"endTime":4425.39,"body":"nine months old, or something"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4425.39,"endTime":4432.14,"body":"like that, when we started using"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4425.39,"endTime":4432.14,"body":"they them pronouns. And, and,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4433.31,"endTime":4436.55,"body":"and, like, on occasion, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4433.31,"endTime":4436.55,"body":"would, you know, kind of read a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4436.55,"endTime":4439.07,"body":"couple pages from that book"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4436.55,"endTime":4439.07,"body":"that, you know, the first"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4439.07,"endTime":4441.68,"body":"conversation about gender,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4439.07,"endTime":4441.68,"body":"especially as he's already get a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4441.68,"endTime":4446.42,"body":"little bit older, not at nine"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4441.68,"endTime":4446.42,"body":"months, so much. Especially as"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4446.42,"endTime":4449.57,"body":"he started to get a little bit"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4446.42,"endTime":4449.57,"body":"older. And, and, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4449.57,"endTime":4451.82,"body":"talked about it a little bit"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4449.57,"endTime":4451.82,"body":"here, and we didn't talk about"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4451.82,"endTime":4455.78,"body":"it all the time, or bring it up"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4451.82,"endTime":4455.78,"body":"every day or anything like that,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4455.78,"endTime":4460.88,"body":"but we did, you know, talk about"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4455.78,"endTime":4460.88,"body":"it some and talk about pronouns"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4460.88,"endTime":4466.34,"body":"and just let him know, like, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4460.88,"endTime":4466.34,"body":"are, you know, we've, we are"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4466.34,"endTime":4469.61,"body":"using they them pronouns for you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4466.34,"endTime":4469.61,"body":"until you tell us otherwise. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4469.61,"endTime":4475.73,"body":"it two and a half. One day our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4469.61,"endTime":4475.73,"body":"kid was like, um, he, and we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4475.73,"endTime":4478.76,"body":"were like, Oh, cool. Okay, right"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4475.73,"endTime":4478.76,"body":"on and then like, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4478.76,"endTime":4479.0,"body":"were"},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":4479.75,"endTime":4480.8,"body":"incredible."},{"speaker":"Transcending Humanity","startTime":4479.75,"endTime":4480.8,"body":"I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4482.689,"endTime":4486.349,"body":"my wife was like, so like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4482.689,"endTime":4486.349,"body":"you know, he said this I think I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4486.349,"endTime":4488.959,"body":"should say, hey, now like, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4486.349,"endTime":4488.959,"body":"were gonna make this shift"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4488.959,"endTime":4493.309,"body":"again. And so, you know, we kind"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4488.959,"endTime":4493.309,"body":"of at first like a few days, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4493.309,"endTime":4495.649,"body":"kind of like, we didn't really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4493.309,"endTime":4495.649,"body":"tell anybody else because I was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4495.649,"endTime":4498.379,"body":"like, Well, I don't know like he"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4495.649,"endTime":4498.379,"body":"might like he might change his"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4498.379,"endTime":4500.989,"body":"mind like tomorrow and I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4498.379,"endTime":4500.989,"body":"like que he might change his"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4500.989,"endTime":4504.949,"body":"mind, like tomorrow. And that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4500.989,"endTime":4504.949,"body":"fine. And that's like part of it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4504.949,"endTime":4508.249,"body":"too. And, and it was really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4504.949,"endTime":4508.249,"body":"interesting to me because,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4508.759,"endTime":4511.849,"body":"again, it kind of this whole"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4508.759,"endTime":4511.849,"body":"process for me has been digging"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4511.849,"endTime":4515.239,"body":"into a lot of my own"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4511.849,"endTime":4515.239,"body":"internalized transphobia through"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4515.269,"endTime":4519.139,"body":"kind of deciding to do gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4515.269,"endTime":4519.139,"body":"creative parenting at all. And I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4519.139,"endTime":4521.239,"body":"mean, I had all these thoughts,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4519.139,"endTime":4521.239,"body":"like, you know, like, Oh, he's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4521.269,"endTime":4523.939,"body":"too young. And, you know, he"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4521.269,"endTime":4523.939,"body":"doesn't know what he's saying."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4523.969,"endTime":4531.349,"body":"And like, I don't know, what his"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4523.969,"endTime":4531.349,"body":"what he's thinking. But I don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4531.379,"endTime":4537.799,"body":"think it's as much about gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4531.379,"endTime":4537.799,"body":"identity, at the moment, as it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4537.799,"endTime":4541.999,"body":"is about the word. You know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4537.799,"endTime":4541.999,"body":"that like, he just he identifies"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4541.999,"endTime":4547.429,"body":"with that word. Particularly for"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4541.999,"endTime":4547.429,"body":"my kid, I have been very careful"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4547.429,"endTime":4552.679,"body":"to refer to him as a kid or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4547.429,"endTime":4552.679,"body":"child. I don't refer to him as a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4552.679,"endTime":4557.479,"body":"boy, or girl, I don't refer to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4552.679,"endTime":4557.479,"body":"him as my son or my daughter. I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4557.479,"endTime":4560.119,"body":"just haven't done that yet. It's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4557.479,"endTime":4560.119,"body":"not that I'm not willing to do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4560.119,"endTime":4563.509,"body":"that. Like when he tells me"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4560.119,"endTime":4563.509,"body":"which one of those feels right"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4563.629,"endTime":4568.159,"body":"to him. That's cool. We'll go"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4563.629,"endTime":4568.159,"body":"with that. But I just like to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4568.159,"endTime":4571.009,"body":"me, I don't want to just be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4568.159,"endTime":4571.009,"body":"like, okay, he chose he. So we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4571.009,"endTime":4573.439,"body":"have a boy and we're gonna go"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4571.009,"endTime":4573.439,"body":"this way. Now. You know, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4573.439,"endTime":4576.289,"body":"like, the whole point about"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4573.439,"endTime":4576.289,"body":"gender creative parenting is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4576.289,"endTime":4578.569,"body":"like, that's not what you do,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4576.289,"endTime":4578.569,"body":"you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4579.05,"endTime":4582.59,"body":"it doesn't stop once they"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4579.05,"endTime":4582.59,"body":"start to resonate with a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4582.59,"endTime":4585.56,"body":"specific pronoun, it doesn't you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4582.59,"endTime":4585.56,"body":"don't just give up and you're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4585.56,"endTime":4586.91,"body":"like, totally did it."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4586.97,"endTime":4590.87,"body":"Yeah. So like, so you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4586.97,"endTime":4590.87,"body":"know, like, even though he uses"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4590.87,"endTime":4593.27,"body":"he pronouns. Now, every once in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4590.87,"endTime":4593.27,"body":"a while, I'm still like, Hey, do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4593.27,"endTime":4596.42,"body":"you want to wear this dress"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4593.27,"endTime":4596.42,"body":"today? You know, or whatever? Or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4596.42,"endTime":4598.58,"body":"like, do you want to play with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4596.42,"endTime":4598.58,"body":"this doll or, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4598.58,"endTime":4604.34,"body":"whatever, and just let him make"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4598.58,"endTime":4604.34,"body":"the call. And just really work"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4604.34,"endTime":4607.61,"body":"on for myself providing him a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4604.34,"endTime":4607.61,"body":"lot of options, and just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4607.61,"endTime":4613.37,"body":"supporting him in whatever"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4607.61,"endTime":4613.37,"body":"direction he wants to go in. It"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4613.37,"endTime":4621.41,"body":"has been interesting, that I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4613.37,"endTime":4621.41,"body":"think generally people like, the"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4621.41,"endTime":4625.31,"body":"binary pronouns, like as they do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4621.41,"endTime":4625.31,"body":"for adults, you know, they feel"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4625.31,"endTime":4628.67,"body":"much more comfortable with a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4625.31,"endTime":4628.67,"body":"binary marry pronoun, then with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4628.94,"endTime":4635.0,"body":"they, um, and so, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4628.94,"endTime":4635.0,"body":"they, they, that has been"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4635.0,"endTime":4639.41,"body":"interesting to see how those"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4635.0,"endTime":4639.41,"body":"conversations, whether it's with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4639.41,"endTime":4642.83,"body":"strangers, or even with people"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4639.41,"endTime":4642.83,"body":"we know, you know, even just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4642.83,"endTime":4645.47,"body":"saying, okay, like, our kid is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4642.83,"endTime":4645.47,"body":"using these pronouns now and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4645.47,"endTime":4650.21,"body":"like, and, and that shift or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4645.47,"endTime":4650.21,"body":"that, you know, using those"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4650.21,"endTime":4652.91,"body":"binary pronouns seem to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4650.21,"endTime":4652.91,"body":"definitely be easier. And it's,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4652.91,"endTime":4656.72,"body":"but it's just interesting,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4652.91,"endTime":4656.72,"body":"because I just think that a lot"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4656.72,"endTime":4664.61,"body":"of people are just so attached"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4656.72,"endTime":4664.61,"body":"to pronouns. And, and I don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4664.61,"endTime":4666.68,"body":"mean, I mean, I think it's great"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4664.61,"endTime":4666.68,"body":"for people to be attached to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4666.68,"endTime":4669.74,"body":"their own pronouns. Like, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4666.68,"endTime":4669.74,"body":"fine, but I think generally,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4669.74,"endTime":4673.04,"body":"like, you know, the amount of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4669.74,"endTime":4673.04,"body":"attachment that people have to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4673.04,"endTime":4677.66,"body":"other people's pronouns is just,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4673.04,"endTime":4677.66,"body":"yes. Wild, you know, like, it is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4677.66,"endTime":4684.26,"body":"just frickin wild to me. So, so,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4677.66,"endTime":4684.26,"body":"yeah, I mean, even with me, like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4684.29,"endTime":4686.42,"body":"I use they them pronouns, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4684.29,"endTime":4686.42,"body":"I'm, I'm like, I'm one of them,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4686.42,"endTime":4690.14,"body":"you know, so it's, and I've,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4686.42,"endTime":4690.14,"body":"like, I've seen that online, or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4690.14,"endTime":4693.8,"body":"they're one of them and like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4690.14,"endTime":4693.8,"body":"okay, but But yeah, that's,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4694.25,"endTime":4697.52,"body":"that's a trip and it's just it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4694.25,"endTime":4697.52,"body":"just interesting to me again,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4697.52,"endTime":4700.4,"body":"how that like, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4697.52,"endTime":4700.4,"body":"still do all that gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4700.4,"endTime":4704.12,"body":"creative parenting, but we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4700.4,"endTime":4704.12,"body":"following our kids lead. And so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4704.12,"endTime":4708.53,"body":"we've been using he for over a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4704.12,"endTime":4708.53,"body":"year now. Iris is, is your kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4708.53,"endTime":4713.09,"body":"is Troyer, like, speaking yet"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4708.53,"endTime":4713.09,"body":"saying words or"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4713.599,"endTime":4718.849,"body":"a lot of signing? We"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4713.599,"endTime":4718.849,"body":"probably primarily use American"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4718.849,"endTime":4726.529,"body":"Sign Language. Okay, maybe a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4718.849,"endTime":4726.529,"body":"good a half and half split?"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4726.559,"endTime":4732.199,"body":"Maybe I'll say. So Tory is the"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4726.559,"endTime":4732.199,"body":"stay at home parents. So that's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4732.199,"endTime":4734.959,"body":"why I can't speak to what"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4732.199,"endTime":4734.959,"body":"happened this during the day,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4734.959,"endTime":4738.199,"body":"but then the sign when I'm with"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4734.959,"endTime":4738.199,"body":"them at night, and I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4738.199,"endTime":4741.469,"body":"okay, Tori is signing with you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4738.199,"endTime":4741.469,"body":"all day because you're having"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4741.469,"endTime":4746.419,"body":"like a full blown conversation"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4741.469,"endTime":4746.419,"body":"with me right now. So yes, we,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4746.899,"endTime":4753.019,"body":"so a lot of signing a couple"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4746.899,"endTime":4753.019,"body":"spoken words here and there. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4753.049,"endTime":4756.379,"body":"like so I'm a coder, my parents"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4753.049,"endTime":4756.379,"body":"are deaf. And so for me, it was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4756.409,"endTime":4760.819,"body":"really important that we signed"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4756.409,"endTime":4760.819,"body":"with them. And it's interesting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4760.819,"endTime":4766.189,"body":"because and this is something"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4760.819,"endTime":4766.189,"body":"that gosh, there's people I want"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4766.189,"endTime":4769.489,"body":"to connect you with to come on a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4766.189,"endTime":4769.489,"body":"podcast and talk about things"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4769.489,"endTime":4772.669,"body":"I'll be sending you some names,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4769.489,"endTime":4772.669,"body":"because this isn't necessarily"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4772.669,"endTime":4777.079,"body":"something that me as a hearing"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4772.669,"endTime":4777.079,"body":"person can really speak to. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4777.079,"endTime":4782.989,"body":"the way that in any language in"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4777.079,"endTime":4782.989,"body":"general, most languages at least"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4783.019,"endTime":4787.909,"body":"have words have gender to them."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4783.019,"endTime":4787.909,"body":"So like Spanish is a big"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4787.909,"endTime":4795.079,"body":"example. In ASL when you're"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4787.909,"endTime":4795.079,"body":"using like, so just a very like,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4795.589,"endTime":4799.969,"body":"you know, brief way to explain"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4795.589,"endTime":4799.969,"body":"this as like, if you were to say"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4799.999,"endTime":4805.459,"body":"A girl, mom, grandma, all of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4799.999,"endTime":4805.459,"body":"those signs are done on your"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4805.459,"endTime":4810.409,"body":"chin. If you're gonna say, Boy,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4805.459,"endTime":4810.409,"body":"dad, brother, Grandpa that's all"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4810.409,"endTime":4815.209,"body":"on your forehead. So there has"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4810.409,"endTime":4815.209,"body":"been this new wave of the Deaf"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4815.209,"endTime":4819.079,"body":"and queer community coming up"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4815.209,"endTime":4819.079,"body":"with how do we approach gender"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4819.079,"endTime":4825.289,"body":"neutral signs. And so we've just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4819.079,"endTime":4825.289,"body":"been following the the lead of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4825.379,"endTime":4830.509,"body":"the Deaf queer community and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4825.379,"endTime":4830.509,"body":"picking up what they're using."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4830.509,"endTime":4834.349,"body":"And so it'll be interesting how"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4830.509,"endTime":4834.349,"body":"that's going to translate to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4834.349,"endTime":4839.359,"body":"with Troyer. But there is a Deaf"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4834.349,"endTime":4839.359,"body":"couple raising their own little"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4839.359,"endTime":4843.769,"body":"COTA, who could talk so much"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4839.359,"endTime":4843.769,"body":"more about that with you all, if"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4843.799,"endTime":4850.699,"body":"you ever were interested in"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4843.799,"endTime":4850.699,"body":"that. But yeah, so I, I, too, is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4850.699,"endTime":4854.719,"body":"so crazy to me that your kid was"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4850.699,"endTime":4854.719,"body":"able to articulate that for"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4854.719,"endTime":4860.209,"body":"himself. And I think that is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4854.719,"endTime":4860.209,"body":"such an incredible show of just"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4860.209,"endTime":4864.439,"body":"how early these things really"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4860.209,"endTime":4864.439,"body":"do. Click for kids. Like he's"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4864.439,"endTime":4868.519,"body":"obviously connected with that"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4864.439,"endTime":4868.519,"body":"word. And like you said, maybe"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4868.519,"endTime":4874.759,"body":"he doesn't fully, you know? I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4868.519,"endTime":4874.759,"body":"mean it to okay, at two, are you"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4874.759,"endTime":4878.089,"body":"understanding the patriarchy? I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4874.759,"endTime":4878.089,"body":"don't know if you are. But"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4878.149,"endTime":4882.109,"body":"obviously, you know, enough to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4878.149,"endTime":4882.109,"body":"be like, Okay, this is, this is"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4882.109,"endTime":4885.079,"body":"what I want you to call me, I"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4882.109,"endTime":4885.079,"body":"don't know that I necessarily"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4885.109,"endTime":4890.179,"body":"identify with everything about"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4885.109,"endTime":4890.179,"body":"what being a boy in society is."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4890.179,"endTime":4893.299,"body":"But this is what I want you to"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4890.179,"endTime":4893.299,"body":"call me for now. And I think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4893.299,"endTime":4895.579,"body":"that's really cool that you had"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4893.299,"endTime":4895.579,"body":"that experience at such a young"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4895.579,"endTime":4901.039,"body":"age. And I can't wait to see if"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4895.579,"endTime":4901.039,"body":"that happens for us, like when"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4901.039,"endTime":4903.889,"body":"that's going to happen and when"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4901.039,"endTime":4903.889,"body":"that conversation will be had"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4903.889,"endTime":4909.469,"body":"and I brought up Bobby Niccolo"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4903.889,"endTime":4909.469,"body":"earlier and their child has like"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4909.469,"endTime":4913.249,"body":"switched names a couple of"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4909.469,"endTime":4913.249,"body":"times, which I also think is a"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4913.249,"endTime":4917.089,"body":"really cool aspect of this and"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4913.249,"endTime":4917.089,"body":"how they've let them do that."},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4917.089,"endTime":4924.379,"body":"And yeah, yeah, I'm looking"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4917.089,"endTime":4924.379,"body":"forward to when that day comes,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4924.379,"endTime":4928.009,"body":"and you know, how we're gonna"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4924.379,"endTime":4928.009,"body":"approach it. Like, you all kind"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4928.009,"endTime":4932.989,"body":"of took a couple of days to see"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4928.009,"endTime":4932.989,"body":"if it was going to stick. Maybe"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4932.989,"endTime":4936.139,"body":"try different things on I feel"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4932.989,"endTime":4936.139,"body":"like maybe as they as they get"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4936.139,"endTime":4939.169,"body":"older, what do you want us? Do"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4936.139,"endTime":4939.169,"body":"you want to try being called"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4939.169,"endTime":4943.579,"body":"this? Do you want to, you know,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4939.169,"endTime":4943.579,"body":"things like that. We'll play"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4943.579,"endTime":4946.639,"body":"with that a little. I think"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4943.579,"endTime":4946.639,"body":"that's one of the most exciting"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4946.669,"endTime":4950.539,"body":"parts of parenting, like we are,"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4946.669,"endTime":4950.539,"body":"is that you have so much freedom"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4950.569,"endTime":4954.799,"body":"in how you want to approach"},{"speaker":"Iris","startTime":4950.569,"endTime":4954.799,"body":"everything in anything. So yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4954.83,"endTime":4957.62,"body":"totally. Yeah. No,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4954.83,"endTime":4957.62,"body":"absolutely. Yeah. And it's, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4957.62,"endTime":4961.01,"body":"mean, for my kid, particularly,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4957.62,"endTime":4961.01,"body":"like, he's, he's just, he's been"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4961.01,"endTime":4964.37,"body":"very consistent with he, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4961.01,"endTime":4964.37,"body":"know, but, uh, but again, I'm"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4964.37,"endTime":4967.76,"body":"not going to be surprised or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4964.37,"endTime":4967.76,"body":"upset if that shifts at some"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4967.76,"endTime":4972.44,"body":"point. Like, that's, that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4967.76,"endTime":4972.44,"body":"totally cool. But yeah, that's,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4972.77,"endTime":4976.88,"body":"it is interesting. How, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4972.77,"endTime":4976.88,"body":"know, I definitely think that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4976.88,"endTime":4979.52,"body":"kids pick up a good amount of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4976.88,"endTime":4979.52,"body":"it. I agree with you, I don't"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4979.52,"endTime":4981.23,"body":"know, if it's like, you know, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4979.52,"endTime":4981.23,"body":"don't think they're getting all"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4981.23,"endTime":4984.83,"body":"the structured, the structure,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4981.23,"endTime":4984.83,"body":"gender stuff that, you know, we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4984.83,"endTime":4988.13,"body":"do as adults obviously, are, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4984.83,"endTime":4988.13,"body":"definitely picking things up."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4988.13,"endTime":4992.51,"body":"And it's, I've been kind of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4988.13,"endTime":4992.51,"body":"wondering, too, because we are"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4992.51,"endTime":4996.41,"body":"not presenting these really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4992.51,"endTime":4996.41,"body":"binary roles at home, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4997.76,"endTime":5000.97,"body":"that, you know, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":4997.76,"endTime":5000.97,"body":"honestly, like you, you hear of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5000.97,"endTime":5007.36,"body":"some trans kids identifying as"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5000.97,"endTime":5007.36,"body":"trans really early. A lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5007.36,"endTime":5009.52,"body":"times when I hear those stories,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5007.36,"endTime":5009.52,"body":"and and I don't have any, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5009.52,"endTime":5011.83,"body":"specific example right now, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5009.52,"endTime":5011.83,"body":"like, a lot of times when I hear"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5011.83,"endTime":5014.2,"body":"those stories, it sounds like"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5011.83,"endTime":5014.2,"body":"those kids are brought up in a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5014.2,"endTime":5019.99,"body":"very binary house, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5014.2,"endTime":5019.99,"body":"binary, like teaching house, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5019.99,"endTime":5022.72,"body":"then they're like, you keep"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5019.99,"endTime":5022.72,"body":"putting me in dresses, but I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5022.72,"endTime":5025.81,"body":"don't identify with that, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5022.72,"endTime":5025.81,"body":"know, and they and they switch."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5025.81,"endTime":5029.8,"body":"And so I think it's, it's, it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5025.81,"endTime":5029.8,"body":"going to be interesting. And to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5029.8,"endTime":5033.19,"body":"us, it's just always going to be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5029.8,"endTime":5033.19,"body":"an open conversation. But yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5033.19,"endTime":5036.46,"body":"it's gonna be interesting to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5033.19,"endTime":5036.46,"body":"see, you know, if it's if, if a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5036.46,"endTime":5041.38,"body":"kid is not put into one of those"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5036.46,"endTime":5041.38,"body":"boxes right away, what's their"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5041.38,"endTime":5045.94,"body":"different approach to their own"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5041.38,"endTime":5045.94,"body":"gender, just being able to be"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5046.06,"endTime":5049.87,"body":"more fluid from being welcomed"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5046.06,"endTime":5049.87,"body":"to be more fluid from the jump,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5049.9,"endTime":5055.93,"body":"if that's how they feel. So"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5049.9,"endTime":5055.93,"body":"that's, that's interesting. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5055.93,"endTime":5060.55,"body":"also, I'm just gonna mention, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5055.93,"endTime":5060.55,"body":"do not know a lot of ASL, but we"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5060.55,"endTime":5065.29,"body":"did we learned ASL. When our kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5060.55,"endTime":5065.29,"body":"was a baby, my wife is like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5065.29,"endTime":5068.59,"body":"super into a lot of different"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5065.29,"endTime":5068.59,"body":"languages. But like, she knew a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5068.59,"endTime":5070.99,"body":"tiny bit of ASL and started"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5068.59,"endTime":5070.99,"body":"learning quite a bit more took a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5070.99,"endTime":5075.76,"body":"couple classes and stuff. And so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5070.99,"endTime":5075.76,"body":"we don't I, I don't I honestly"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5075.76,"endTime":5079.63,"body":"am not proficient enough that I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5075.76,"endTime":5079.63,"body":"feel like I could really have a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5079.66,"endTime":5082.36,"body":"have a big conversation with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5079.66,"endTime":5082.36,"body":"somebody, but I do. It's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5082.36,"endTime":5085.87,"body":"interesting, because we use"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5082.36,"endTime":5085.87,"body":"those signs that we have learned"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5085.9,"endTime":5090.13,"body":"all the time. I still signed to,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5085.9,"endTime":5090.13,"body":"I sometimes sign to our kid and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5090.13,"endTime":5092.95,"body":"he'll talk back to me, which is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5090.13,"endTime":5092.95,"body":"interesting, because I'm like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5092.98,"endTime":5095.98,"body":"Oh, you can tell what I'm"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5092.98,"endTime":5095.98,"body":"saying. You know, yeah, but I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5095.98,"endTime":5100.75,"body":"mean, I I find it like that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5095.98,"endTime":5100.75,"body":"been really nice. I actually,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5100.96,"endTime":5104.8,"body":"like, yeah, that's been a really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5100.96,"endTime":5104.8,"body":"nice addition to like, our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5104.8,"endTime":5107.74,"body":"parenting as well. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5104.8,"endTime":5107.74,"body":"especially before our kid was"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5107.74,"endTime":5111.76,"body":"speaking more, you know, now his"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5107.74,"endTime":5111.76,"body":"language is more developed. But"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5112.06,"endTime":5114.43,"body":"that was really important. And"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5112.06,"endTime":5114.43,"body":"certainly if he's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5114.43,"endTime":5119.47,"body":"overstimulated, I will sign. If"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5114.43,"endTime":5119.47,"body":"I you know, if I know that if I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5119.47,"endTime":5122.92,"body":"know the sign, I will sign"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5119.47,"endTime":5122.92,"body":"because a lot of times that will"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5122.92,"endTime":5127.06,"body":"really help him focus more,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5122.92,"endTime":5127.06,"body":"rather than because a lot of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5127.06,"endTime":5129.58,"body":"times it's like sound"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5127.06,"endTime":5129.58,"body":"overstimulation for my"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5129.58,"endTime":5130.6,"body":"particular kid. And,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5130.9,"endTime":5132.67,"body":"but, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5135.22,"endTime":5139.404,"body":"well, let's see, I know, we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5135.22,"endTime":5139.404,"body":"kind of running, we've, I think"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5139.471,"endTime":5143.386,"body":"we've gone past our hour here,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5139.471,"endTime":5143.386,"body":"but I want to just hit on a"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5143.453,"endTime":5147.435,"body":"couple more things. If that's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5143.453,"endTime":5147.435,"body":"cool. So we've already talked"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5147.503,"endTime":5151.687,"body":"quite a bit about, like child"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5147.503,"endTime":5151.687,"body":"led gender exploration, and just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5151.755,"endTime":5156.074,"body":"really focusing on allowing your"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5151.755,"endTime":5156.074,"body":"kid to be whoever they are, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5156.142,"endTime":5160.326,"body":"supporting them when you know"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5156.142,"endTime":5160.326,"body":"whether the identity is fixed or"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5160.393,"endTime":5164.78,"body":"shifts over time. I am certainly"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5160.393,"endTime":5164.78,"body":"not against any, like, if my kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5164.848,"endTime":5169.032,"body":"ends up being really, really, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5164.848,"endTime":5169.032,"body":"don't want to say like really,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5169.1,"endTime":5173.487,"body":"sis or really trans. But I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5169.1,"endTime":5173.487,"body":"I guess that's fine. Like, if my"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5173.554,"endTime":5177.738,"body":"kid ends up being really, really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5173.554,"endTime":5177.738,"body":"masculine or really feminine,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5177.806,"endTime":5181.72,"body":"like, I'm not, our approach to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5177.806,"endTime":5181.72,"body":"it, too, is like, we're not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5181.788,"endTime":5185.567,"body":"trying to even push gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5181.788,"endTime":5185.567,"body":"fluidity. I mean, early on, I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5185.635,"endTime":5189.752,"body":"want to like, show that to our"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5185.635,"endTime":5189.752,"body":"kid, to kind of give him those"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5189.819,"endTime":5193.801,"body":"options, you know, but if it"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5189.819,"endTime":5193.801,"body":"turns out that like, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5193.869,"endTime":5197.986,"body":"he really wants to be a girly"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5193.869,"endTime":5197.986,"body":"girl, like, that's fine. And if"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5198.053,"endTime":5201.832,"body":"he turns out that he really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5198.053,"endTime":5201.832,"body":"wants to be a masculine boy,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5201.9,"endTime":5206.084,"body":"like, that's fine. And so it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5201.9,"endTime":5206.084,"body":"just really like, it's also not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5206.152,"endTime":5209.864,"body":"like this idea of gender"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5206.152,"endTime":5209.864,"body":"creative parenting is not also"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5209.931,"endTime":5214.048,"body":"like, totally gender neutral."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5209.931,"endTime":5214.048,"body":"And I think a lot of people get"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5214.116,"endTime":5217.963,"body":"tripped up by the pronouns,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5214.116,"endTime":5217.963,"body":"because they think it's like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5218.03,"endTime":5222.08,"body":"you know, you're raising your"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5218.03,"endTime":5222.08,"body":"child gender neutral. And it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5222.147,"endTime":5226.196,"body":"like, well, no, we're using"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5222.147,"endTime":5226.196,"body":"gender neutral pronouns, because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5226.264,"endTime":5230.448,"body":"we really want our kid to show"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5226.264,"endTime":5230.448,"body":"us who they are. And then we're"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5230.516,"endTime":5234.228,"body":"going to just support whatever"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5230.516,"endTime":5234.228,"body":"that is. So you have any"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5234.295,"endTime":5238.277,"body":"thoughts on that? Everything"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5234.295,"endTime":5238.277,"body":"you've said, I agree with you,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5238.345,"endTime":5239.83,"body":"Rylie, what about you?"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5240.55,"endTime":5244.45,"body":"No, absolutely. And like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5240.55,"endTime":5244.45,"body":"I think kind of why I feel like"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5244.45,"endTime":5247.84,"body":"ultimately, I can say that my"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5244.45,"endTime":5247.84,"body":"parents were or at least my mom,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5247.96,"endTime":5251.5,"body":"right off the back was pretty"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5247.96,"endTime":5251.5,"body":"supportive of the the gender"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5251.5,"endTime":5255.01,"body":"neutral parenting was because"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5251.5,"endTime":5255.01,"body":"like, when I came out to her,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5255.13,"endTime":5258.13,"body":"like her immediate responses,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5255.13,"endTime":5258.13,"body":"like, you know, I love you no"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5258.13,"endTime":5261.55,"body":"matter what, like sort of"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5258.13,"endTime":5261.55,"body":"response, so like, I'm not gonna"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5261.55,"endTime":5265.75,"body":"lie that that shift made me"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5261.55,"endTime":5265.75,"body":"like, thought, like, I was not"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5265.75,"endTime":5270.1,"body":"expecting that response. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5265.75,"endTime":5270.1,"body":"like, getting that response was"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5270.1,"endTime":5275.32,"body":"like, the best case scenario."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5270.1,"endTime":5275.32,"body":"Getting that response, though,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5275.32,"endTime":5278.41,"body":"also was, like I said, not the"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5275.32,"endTime":5278.41,"body":"response I was expecting. So"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5278.41,"endTime":5285.76,"body":"like, that was really not like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5278.41,"endTime":5285.76,"body":"I could have expected any sort"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5285.76,"endTime":5290.23,"body":"of response. But like, I guess,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5285.76,"endTime":5290.23,"body":"like, it's still even to this"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5290.23,"endTime":5293.17,"body":"day, a little mind blowing. I"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5290.23,"endTime":5293.17,"body":"mean, that was the response that"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5293.17,"endTime":5299.71,"body":"I got, even though like, it's"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5293.17,"endTime":5299.71,"body":"fully been 11 and a half years."},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5302.68,"endTime":5309.55,"body":"But like, it's still just like,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5302.68,"endTime":5309.55,"body":"the idea that like, for a former"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5309.55,"endTime":5314.14,"body":"military conservative woman,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5309.55,"endTime":5314.14,"body":"like, that was her response,"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5314.14,"endTime":5318.7,"body":"like, just I love you no matter"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5314.14,"endTime":5318.7,"body":"what, like, you know, I could"},{"speaker":"Rylie","startTime":5318.7,"endTime":5319.78,"body":"not have expected that."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5321.28,"endTime":5325.418,"body":"That's awesome. That's so"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5321.28,"endTime":5325.418,"body":"great that you had that support,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5325.49,"endTime":5329.842,"body":"you know, and from your mom,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5325.49,"endTime":5329.842,"body":"like, that's just that's really,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5329.914,"endTime":5334.409,"body":"really awesome. I am not quite"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5329.914,"endTime":5334.409,"body":"I'm not in that same boat. And I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5334.48,"endTime":5338.191,"body":"kind of like I mentioned"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5334.48,"endTime":5338.191,"body":"earlier, like my, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5338.262,"endTime":5342.472,"body":"there are certain aspects that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5338.262,"endTime":5342.472,"body":"were definitely a little bit"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5342.544,"endTime":5346.754,"body":"leaning towards gender creative"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5342.544,"endTime":5346.754,"body":"parenting, but I had a very"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5346.825,"endTime":5350.964,"body":"different, maybe somewhere in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5346.825,"endTime":5350.964,"body":"between what you experienced"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5351.035,"endTime":5355.174,"body":"Rylie and what you experienced"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5351.035,"endTime":5355.174,"body":"Iris, but But yeah, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5355.245,"endTime":5359.455,"body":"that's just so awesome. It"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5355.245,"endTime":5359.455,"body":"always is so heartwarming for me"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5359.526,"endTime":5363.879,"body":"to hear of parents who are, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5359.526,"endTime":5363.879,"body":"know, supportive of kids just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5363.951,"endTime":5368.375,"body":"being who they are. And, yeah,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5363.951,"endTime":5368.375,"body":"it's just like, I think that's,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5368.446,"endTime":5372.656,"body":"I think that's the best way to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5368.446,"endTime":5372.656,"body":"parent obviously. Well, I've"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5372.727,"endTime":5377.08,"body":"got, I really got just one more"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5372.727,"endTime":5377.08,"body":"kind of point and then we can"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5377.151,"endTime":5381.79,"body":"wrap up the end. You'd mentioned"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5377.151,"endTime":5381.79,"body":"this earlier, Iris, but there is"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5381.861,"endTime":5386.285,"body":"also a bit of a three line with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5381.861,"endTime":5386.285,"body":"gender creative parenting that"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5386.356,"endTime":5390.424,"body":"the kids anatomy is, is not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5386.356,"endTime":5390.424,"body":"anyone's business or not very"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5390.495,"endTime":5394.919,"body":"many people's business. I mean,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5390.495,"endTime":5394.919,"body":"I do think that we're going to"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5394.991,"endTime":5399.486,"body":"have to rethink that approach as"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5394.991,"endTime":5399.486,"body":"our kid gets to be school age."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5399.557,"endTime":5404.053,"body":"Just as far as, you know, just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5399.557,"endTime":5404.053,"body":"being like, you know, just being"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5404.124,"endTime":5408.548,"body":"responsible adults and being,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5404.124,"endTime":5408.548,"body":"like, honest and well, yeah, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5408.62,"endTime":5412.83,"body":"know, with the school or, you"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5408.62,"endTime":5412.83,"body":"know, with parents of friends"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5412.901,"endTime":5417.182,"body":"and things like that. But I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5412.901,"endTime":5417.182,"body":"definitely, you know, at this at"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5417.254,"endTime":5421.606,"body":"this age at this point, it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5417.254,"endTime":5421.606,"body":"just interesting. And Kyle Myers"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5421.678,"endTime":5426.102,"body":"touched on this a lot. And in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5421.678,"endTime":5426.102,"body":"their book of like, like, why do"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5426.173,"endTime":5430.811,"body":"people really need to know, it's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5426.173,"endTime":5430.811,"body":"just, you know, it's just really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5430.883,"endTime":5434.95,"body":"not anyone's business and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5430.883,"endTime":5434.95,"body":"really, doesn't need to be part"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5435.021,"endTime":5439.16,"body":"of what any, certainly any"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5435.021,"endTime":5439.16,"body":"stranger, or, you know, really,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5439.231,"endTime":5443.727,"body":"almost anyone interacting with"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5439.231,"endTime":5443.727,"body":"your kid needs to know. And, and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5443.798,"endTime":5448.08,"body":"to me, it's interesting, because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5443.798,"endTime":5448.08,"body":"it's really just a point of"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5448.151,"endTime":5452.004,"body":"privacy for my kid. Yeah."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5448.151,"endTime":5452.004,"body":"Because I again, like really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5452.076,"endTime":5456.5,"body":"don't want him to be pushed in"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5452.076,"endTime":5456.5,"body":"any direction. And so just not."},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5456.571,"endTime":5460.924,"body":"And again, it's like, a little"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5456.571,"endTime":5460.924,"body":"different, because we're using"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5460.995,"endTime":5465.205,"body":"gender pronouns. So everybody's"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5460.995,"endTime":5465.205,"body":"gonna make their assumption"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5465.276,"endTime":5469.058,"body":"based on that, but Right, but"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5465.276,"endTime":5469.058,"body":"just to not just to not"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5469.13,"endTime":5473.126,"body":"reinforce, you know, boy and"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5469.13,"endTime":5473.126,"body":"son, and all of that, like,"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5473.197,"endTime":5477.122,"body":"that's another reason that I'm"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5473.197,"endTime":5477.122,"body":"choosing my own language"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5477.193,"endTime":5481.403,"body":"carefully. For myself, because"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5477.193,"endTime":5481.403,"body":"of because of that, and just"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5481.474,"endTime":5485.827,"body":"really wanting to not influence"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5481.474,"endTime":5485.827,"body":"other people's approach to my"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5485.898,"endTime":5490.394,"body":"kid, you know, and just really"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5485.898,"endTime":5490.394,"body":"try to have them approach my kid"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5490.465,"endTime":5494.747,"body":"as as my kid. So you guys have"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5490.465,"endTime":5494.747,"body":"any other thoughts on that? I"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5494.818,"endTime":5497.53,"body":"know I received mentioned"},{"speaker":"Jess","startTime":5494.818,"endTime":5497.53,"body":"earlier. But"}]}