Finding Focus in the Midst of Chaos

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Transcript

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Hey, welcome back to the Jada Willis experience. I just sent to my email distribution list a whole thing that I've got to share with you, okay? So finding focus in the midst of chaos. And so essentially I shared four of my tips for how to really harness the level of focus that we all need in the midst of our crazy life and expectations and deadlines and responsibilities and even vacations I just thought I mean I was like man This is so good, and there's so much more I need to say so I figured let me do a podcast and I can always share it back to my subscribers And you you if you are not on my email list, you've got to get these knowledge strips. They are coming out. I'm usually doing twice a month. I need to increase that just in full transparency. And so it will come out more, but I just make sure that it's really valuable content. If I'm sending something to your inbox, it actually has to either make you think, make you change, make you thrive, all those things to make it worthwhile for me to even be occupying space in your inbox, because I know I receive a lot of emails. I don't want another junk email. So, all right, back to focusing. And this is actually gonna be relatively short because you're busy, we're all busy. And I just think it's important that you realize that you have to take this time right here to have these moments of space for you to even learn about how to live a life in the midst of chaos, because you will never actually have a life without chaos. And I want you to let that resonate. And if anyone tells you differently than they are typically, I would say they're probably a monk, maybe a nun, not in the day-to-day routines of having businesses and being a business owner or being a people leader, having a family, dogs. I mean, if you have a life that is without goals and deadlines and vacations and people that depend on you, then yeah, I think that you actually could have minimal to no chaos in your life. But, no, actually, that's not my world. So if you're like me, I am a high achiever. I have a ton of ideas, and I am that visionary. And then also, I commit to things, and now I've gotten a whole lot better at committing to things that make sense to my bigger picture, to my bigger goals. And it does mean saying no at times. And it just doesn't fit in and align with either my scheduling goals, my life goals, or what I want for myself. And that's OK, too. But I also say yes to a lot of things and a lot of projects. I'm on several boards. And as you know, I've started this new consulting firm. I'm in the works of even buying another company. I mean, there is a lot going on in my life. And so I even mentioned in this email is that I have to practice the art of focusing constantly. And it looks a little different for me because I think that I've learned about myself that I am productive in spurts. I rest in spurts. And that really works for me, but even in those spurts, I have to be ready and organized to know what am I really working towards, what am I focusing on, and the reason why I can rest is because I already know that that other stuff is planned out, or that other stuff is going to happen whenever I'm in the right schedule block even, for doing those things. And you don't have to get so anal, so obsessed with this like I am, but one valuable thing is that you can learn from some of my practicing, right? And I kind of like to brag that I do, I get a lot of crap done, man. I can accomplish a lot. I can turn ideas into tangible things or businesses very quickly but guess what I need to focus and I mean really only my partner knows how much I have going on simultaneously and I and I pride myself but I also pride myself on a balanced life and Getting eight hours of sleep and working out and drinking a ton of water. So it is all about the right mix and balance for you. And that's even me now having four stepchildren and all that good stuff. So there's a lot added to the mix. And I'm not saying it's perfect. No, by no means is it perfect. But I am really I know that I need to practice my, my focus practice. Because I know that things don't, quote unquote, calm down. If they calm down, I get really bored and kind of rudderless in a way where I'm like, what's the purpose? What's the focus? It doesn't mean I can't rest, but I do, I love progress. I love goals. I love reaching goals. And that's who I am as a person and everyone's different, but everyone on this planet in some part of their life needs to be able to focus. And all right, so let's get some sugar done. So one of the first things I shared in this newsletter, in this knowledge drip, was establishing your non-negotiables. I'm really passionate about this in life. If you've established core values for yourself, if you haven't, please do that. Maybe I'll do another episode on what really your core values are. But self-integrity is big to me. So I've had to work on in my life doing what I say I'm going to do for others and myself. So I probably lack a whole lot for myself, and I'm way better for others, but I'm improving But it's about knowing your non-negotiables in your relationships and in your work, in your routines, in your schedule. But know your non-negotiables. Like what are the things that you're like, absolutely no, I need to be doing this for myself. And I'm not saying that you can't ever break your non-negotiables, like that's not the goal at all. But for instance, I know that a non-negotiable for me is my morning routine of prayer, meditation, and spending time with God. I am just telling you if I don't have that prayer time and say the affirmations and be and just be with myself whether it's five minutes or an hour I know that the rest of the day I'm just I'm not the same person I don't have the same energy and I don't I don't feel like myself. And some could argue that's just the routine and you're off your routine. And others could argue, obviously it's a spiritual practice, I'm connected to my source, and I'm getting my mindset right for the day. Well, I'm gonna tell you that this is very important to me and that I have this time. But sometimes life happens, you wake up late. Maybe, like for instance, I've had to take my family to the airport at 4 a.m. I mean, that looks a lot different about what is the time, when do you quote unquote practice this. So I don't really get attached to that, but I'm very focused on what does that mean to read the scriptures in my Bible, what's the mantra that I get to say, what does that mean for myself? And I know how I'm showing up for myself if it's five minutes or an hour and what's important to me. But that's a non-negotiable in my life and it doesn't matter who I'm around, who I'm with, what I'm doing. I could even go out for an awesome time with friends and engage in adult beverages and I am telling you in the morning, no matter where I'm at, I don't care if I have to hide in the bathroom, the closet, I will be spending that time because it's that important to me. That's a non-negotiable in your life. You may know, like maybe some people, I know some parents it's a non-negotiable, I'm going to be at every soccer game for my kids. Now, that's really hard and I know life happens, but that's the intention that you set out for your life. Well, with work, let's just say you're struggling and focusing with work. Well, maybe even a non-negotiable for you is that whenever you're with a client, you think it's really disrespectful to have your phone face up. And so you turn your phone over. And that's just something that is ingrained inside of you. But my question is, if you're setting up a time, even if it's for an hour, and it's about brainstorming or working on a project, why is it that you allow yourself to not value that time as much as you value the time with a client. So what you're saying to yourself is I'm not as important. Basically the priority is client and then everything else, right? So how you're treating yourself in the midst of your non-negotiables will really, I'm telling you, it will really do something for you subconsciously and otherwise. But here are some other examples. I really believe in setting out, like blocking time in your calendar. So I block time for working out, I block time for my morning routine, I block time for strategy or power sessions with myself, I block time to even write my newsletter. I block time, A, I don't want anyone to take it, but B, it's a very intentional act of setting aside time to, I know that I need to do X Y & Z now Sometimes I show up to that time block and I don't have the right energy for that And as long as I can schedule it somewhere else and I have it I'm not you know, putting it off and things that nature then I say pay attention your body pay attention to your mind Um, I think that there's there's a lot of value there I pay attention to my gut my intuition a whole lot, but you have a two-hour power session, sorry, two-hour strategy session, and scheduled on your calendar. You need to treat that session just like you would your best client, your best donor, your best employee. Do not cancel it. Do not focus on other tasks. Make that time a priority, and make sure that you're even planning ahead to get the things done that you want to accomplish in that session? What's going to move you forward? What do you really need to accomplish to feel like you're making progress? And I don't even get into my soapbox of the power of progress here. But there is power in making progress and building momentum. When you block out that time, when you start working on yourself, on that project, that big thing that you think is going to take forever, and you start chipping away at it, the secret is you spend that time, maybe that two hours, and it multiplies your effort everywhere else. It gives you energy. It gives you momentum. And it also helps you get that thing accomplished. And I don't know about for you, but nine times out of ten, it never takes as long as I think. It's crazy. I make up stuff in my head, and I don't know. Maybe I'm the only one. But even with, and I am obsessed with routines, evening routine, morning routine, Sunday routine, there are routines that are really important to me, but let me tell you, it's not for just doing the thing or trying to be like Oprah or anything like that. But I know that we're badasses. I'm a badass, you're a badass, I know you're a high achiever, and I know that we have to have routines to create the space for our brains to be thoughtful, for our brains to be intentional, for that strategic planning, for actually stepping back the emotions so that we can look at a problem, at a situation that you, only you, can decide or figure out and make the best decision, make the best choice. So when you're able to really set up those routines, it gives you the opportunity to have better decision making. And routines are just so powerful. I think it saves time and money. I think there is just power. Now, of course, if it was easy, everyone would do it. So there is a practice of making sure that you find the right routine for you. Of course, there's going to be interruptions in that routine. It's called life, life events. But whenever you keep practicing, especially my Sunday routine, my morning routine, those are the things that I absolutely swear by, I have to know what I'm walking into. It reduces my anxiety. So that's why I'm talking about a Sunday routine. It reduces my anxiety Even if I just spend a few minutes or an hour looking at the week ahead planning out Thinking through I even set up when am I working out? What am I eating and then I even think through like what are the top three things that I absolutely have to accomplish this week I mean absolutely have to accomplish and when I say have to it means that I have to because I'm trying to reach the end goal, whether it's a month, whether it's a quarter, what are the things that I'm gonna do to make myself proud, make my family proud? And that should all fall into your planning for the week ahead. I am very intentional with my time. And that's why, I'll be honest with you, I cannot stand it, and I don't like this about myself, but I cannot stand it when people just randomly call me. It's just, I'm like, what's happening? And it's usually because that time is meant for something. I even have a time to, you know, relax. And my reward of, you know, for the Netflix and all the things is, you know, it's going to be after I do certain things in my day. And that's going to be after prayer time. Now you may think that sounds so methodical but it leaves so much space and it creates so much more energy for me and how I want to show up in the world and how I want to be able to impact others in a bigger way. And you can start really small with the times for your routines. Start really small. I mean, come on. If you already brush your teeth every night, you already have some sort of routine. It's just fine tuning it, really. And you have the power to do that. So I'm going to say this one more time, is that I know you're a high achiever, and routines are creating so much space in your brain for objective decision-making, thoughtfulness, strategic planning, and just the overall improved capacity in your daily world. Next up is stop staring at the chaos. I wanna ask something. When is the last time that you forced something and it actually turned out great? And that's why I was saying earlier, whenever I have a block of time, I show up and maybe I'm not aligned for it. I don't have the mindset, I don't have the energy. It's just not the right time. I do believe in divine timing. And as long as I'm not trying to get in my own way, which you can ask yourself some questions there, I'm going to rebook that, reschedule it or go to my list to see what am I aligned with. And that doesn't mean totally walk away. One thing that I did as I was returning from my time off is that I felt that inevitable overwhelm that you get whenever you take a break and you just like step away from your projects, your work, your schedule, your typical routines, and I'm on this swimming with ideas because obviously when I get time off, I just think of new ideas for my business, for my clients, and it's fun. But my head was swimming with just great ideas, required tasks, just things I had to do, and like inevitable paperwork. We all have that, right? And I cannot stand administrative work. That's a side note. But one thing I did was I actually just stopped forcing it. I stopped trying and I did a total brain dump. In the midst of frustration, overwhelm, anxiety, I did a total brain dump of what I was thinking about, who I needed, who needed what for me, and what I needed to achieve and when. All right, I did that and then I totally walked away. I was like, all right, throw the pen down. I was exhausted. And then I came back after 15 minutes. And usually for me, I need to walk. I like walking outside to clear my head, but I also just need to take a break, whatever that is. And maybe I'll just do the dishes real quick, something else, so that I'm not focused on everything I just dumped out. And then I was ready to have a real conversation with myself about priorities, about just the deadlines and what was important to me, and what do I really want to be doing in the week ahead. And in the newsletter I even share about a reference back to one of my podcasts of how to make progress while feeling overwhelmed. And for me, I focus on the gators closest to the boat. That's really important. I already know that long-term, like what island I'm trying to get to from the boat. So I'm constantly thinking, how is this getting me closer? Well, I have to look at those gators closest to the boat that are chomping at me, and that's the week ahead, right? That's what's immediately in front of me. And those small, small steps, I'm telling you, it's gonna lead you to some big results. I really think that people don't fall into success. Right, they don't fall into it, they don't stumble upon it. It's through doing the small things and doing the small things consistently. Keep showing up. All right, moving on. Practice the two minute reset. Now I have so many recommendations on the reset and for meditation and practicing mindfulness. If this is too woo-woo for you, find what is that thing that gives you the calm, the calm that you need. And I don't, I have a no judgment zone. Whatever it is that you need to do, and I'm telling you to start small, I don't think you should rock out a 20 minute meditation, not what I'm telling you, because I'm sure that there may be some excuse of I don't have two minutes. I mean I can't even focus I've still got so much to do. We all do okay, but guess what? You're you're gonna have to go to the bathroom, right? And my only reason I share that is because it's like something that you are absolutely required to do well Guess what? I need you to take two minutes, two minutes, and I'm not saying about this in the bathroom Those are two different thoughts. I just want to clarify because the next exercise would be really weird if you do it in the bathroom for two minutes. But hey, do you. I want you to set a timer for two minutes, close your eyes, and just hear the noises that are surrounding you right now. Ask yourself a few different questions. What is that noise? Identify each sound that you hear because there's going to be multiple sounds, multiple noises. What direction is the noise coming from? Did you enjoy the noise? Is there anything else that you observe about this noise? What happens to your brain whenever you take two minutes and you stop focusing on all the things? What's in front of you, the worries, the cares, everything you have to do, what are we eating for dinner? When you focus on being mindful and present, because that's what that exercise is, it's being mindful, it's being present, your body relaxes. Your body goes into a state of ease. And when that happens, your brain allows for greater clarity and an increased level of focus. I don't care if you say that you don't have two minutes, that this is a woo-woo. The best of us are doing mindfulness practices. The best of us are having meditation, whatever that looks like for you. Find out what works, but do your reset. Find your reset practice. All right, okay, this is the last one, I think. It's the last one. Am I working on the right priorities right now? So that's the thing, and you may have thought, hey, why don't you start with this? Well, I gotta get your brain right. And we need to create the space to actually do these things. And now that you're open, now that you're being more receptive, dude, are you working on the right priorities right now? And sometimes you can't focus on what's in front of you because it's not what you're supposed to be working on. Each task, and this is for me, is derived from, I don't know about you, but like my quarterly goals and my big picture goals. And it's not always that methodical, but what I'm working on today should be impacting next week, next month, even the end of the year. If it's not, why are you doing it? Why are you working on it? That doesn't make sense to me. The best way to know if you're working on the right priorities is to ask yourself, what does success look like for this? What is this? It's whatever you're working on in that moment. What does success look like? What is this leading to? Fill in the blank. I'm telling you, when you ask yourself that question, truly listen for the answer. Don't let yourself play games or cheat you out of the real answer. You should feel either relief or excitement. This is my opinion, but that's how you're gonna know if it's connected to a bigger goal. Because whenever you were creating your bigger goals, guess what you felt? Those two things. It's all connected. You have to find your focus in the midst of your chaos, but only, this only comes through practice. And it's like athletes, they are constantly practicing. If you have some kind of trade that you do, how do you get better? You're practicing. Focus isn't just learning a new technique and pressing a button. And that's why I said this isn't six minute abs. I may have stolen that from Nora in the last podcast episode. This is, it's just, it's wild to me that we have a microwave society and we think we should be able to press a couple buttons and we know what focus is. We can focus. We can get a lot of sugar done. Man, that's just wild. If you want to really be good at something and then you want to be better at it keep trying different things keep trying figuring out what works for you and I have a ton of tips on regaining your focus Gaining your clarity and and even fighting the overwhelm. So check out the previous episodes for sure I have to give one more like actually just a couple more things. Listen, I think you should sign up for my newsletter. How to do that? You need to go to jadawillis.com, click subscribe. I'm telling you, it's gonna be the best email in your account that you've ever received and it's one that you will not want to miss. You're gonna start looking forward to this, okay? That's the feedback that I'm getting right now. It is fire, but more importantly, I want to help you. I would really want to help you regain your time, get in control of your business, get in control of your mind. Like I said, I am a CEO mentor, but that means that I work with a lot of different people, and it's the high achievers. It's the ultimate here. And I want to use everything that I've learned, and I am learning, and I get also from my clients, and I want to push it back to you. Now, the last thing I'm going to say is that we are about to share with you the several, several sessions that we are offering at the Confident U Beach Retreat in September. I want you to show up for yourself. Like this is the time, this is the time to invest in yourself, to get better, to get control of your time. But one session I want to shout out is wanting more doesn't mean doing more. All right? And this is, this is relevant to what we're talking about today. It's about maximizing your time, maximizing your mind. I want you to attend this retreat because it is going to, I believe that everyone that attends, speakers included, will be changed. You will be able to implement all the things to find your focus, to find your clarity, to even To even, you know, double down on levels of worthiness and cutting through the noise. There is so much that we're all going to do together in these couple days and we are really going to focus on a better, healthier you. So and all of that benefits your work and your life and the relationships in your life. Like I believe in doing these things, like whether it's just like a two-day retreat and then have it multiply your life, multiply in every area where it literally becomes priceless. That's not a sales pitch, that's just me being honest with you of what happens because I've attended retreats, I've attended silent retreats and so many other different workshops and trainings and I do this stuff, I practice this and I can also genuinely tell you at this moment I am the happiest I've ever been. But it doesn't mean that I don't have chaos. And it doesn't mean I don't have stress. I just know how to dance in it. So I'm going to leave you with this as I'm doing every episode moving forward. Choose your hard. Everything you want is on the other side of hard. Choose your hard.