#50 How to transform your life with free information w Rhiannan O'Shea

Rhiannan transformed her life in just 7 months, she got a job raise just by implementing this free information. 

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Transcript

Miriam (00:00.378)
Welcome to today's episode of Awakening the Feminine Within. So I have with me today an amazing woman. She is also, I say partially because she helps me a little bit on the side. Her name is Riannon. And she has been helping me as my like very part-time, you know, assistant for the last eight, nine.

I don't even know, like maybe nine months or something since like last June, that's all I remember. And she's absolutely amazing. And I've been wanting to get her on the podcast here for a hot minute, but schedules, life happens. So Rhiannon, tell us about you and who you are and all the good stuff.

Rhiannan OShea (00:39.623)
Yeah, thanks for having me. It's been so fun working alongside you and then also being like a listener and a little bit closer and now being on the podcast. So, um, yeah, I'm Riannon. I do a day job that is very like type A masculine vice president of a marketing firm. And so I'm not always in my feminine space and working with Miriam and bringing along for the ride has really brought me into that. And so I went from like,

being a huge advocate of therapy, to being a huge advocate of things in Miriam's world. And so, yeah, I've been really blessed to be able to come along for the ride and be a little bit closer to the center of it because it's been super, super helpful.

Miriam (01:23.698)
Amazing, amazing. Okay, so right before we pressed the record button, Rhiannon and I were talking about, like, okay, what do we want to nail down for, like, today's topic? And one thing that Rhiannon said was how much more helpful the podcast information in Feminine Energy has been for herself versus therapy. So Rhiannon, like, go give us, like, the quick notes or you can kind of...

however, because I think it's very I mean, that's not the first time I've heard that from someone else, but it's very hard. I think it's going to be good for other people to actually hear like what that experience has been like, because I've experienced the same thing I went to therapy for from like 2016 right up until 2021. And that's when I started working. That's when I found feminine energy and literally like I felt like I time jumped and I was like,

Rhiannan OShea (02:12.916)
Yeah.

Miriam (02:16.394)
Holy crap, I solved all of my issues that I've been going to therapy for. Not to mention, well, let's do the cost analysis. It probably in the 10, almost 10 years, probably cost me about the same, if not more, than what I actually paid for my coaching, than where I discovered feminine energy. But I really wanna hear like your experience from when you were in therapy versus when you, we met or when you discovered, you know, feminine energy.

Rhiannan OShea (02:31.816)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (02:42.271)
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I have had two therapists, really three, I guess. And the first one was very much trauma. I went through a sudden divorce at the peak of COVID and was just like, you know, needed some guidance. And she was very like, everything you're feeling is valid and like a total cheerleader and not challenging me whatsoever, which is maybe what I needed in the beginning.

But you had a podcast episode recently that said your coach shouldn't be your cheerleader. Like, you should have somebody who's going to give it to you raw and hard and put you and that's more what I needed. My second therapist was very much like that. But where I discovered feminine energy and where it took me, like you, I jumped. I was probably in therapy for like three years and did the same amount of self discovery in like...

three months working with you and not even working with you. Like I was on the slow track because I'm just on the outskirts listening to the podcast. I'm not even working with you. I can't imagine the time work that it would be to actually like work with you as my coach. Um, but it was, it was wild and a lot of the things that you talk about and the format that you deliver it in is so much easier for somebody like me to stick with and follow. And so not only do I feel like

I discovered more about myself and opened up this other side of myself. I stuck with it and it didn't feel like homework the way therapy felt like homework. So I made even more progress. That doubled down on the speed of my progress because therapy and feminine coaching or coaching in general both use journaling. Therapy felt like homework. It felt reactive.

you would dredge something up in a session and it would say, you know, you're going to go journal to like discover why you feel this way and get rid of this feeling or you had this emotional outburst, go journal about it. And it was very reactive and introspective in the sense that it was almost like negative. Whereas I feel like the coaching journaling that you prescribe is more like

Rhiannan OShea (04:58.491)
I want to get out of this sweat. I want to get to this better thing. I want to make this happen for myself. I want to understand this." And it just felt more positive, like proactive versus reactive, that it was so much easier for me to stick with. And it just expedited everything. You guys could both have been telling me the same thing. And I got it more even just from the podcast, if that makes sense.

Miriam (05:21.898)
Yep, absolutely. It's really interesting because as you were saying that it had me thinking back to like, you know, my first probably like two to three years that I was doing therapy. And I remember just feeling like it's funny because knowing that I'm a sensitive person now and that I can feel into other people really quickly. I put myself back because I didn't know this back, you know, back in 2016. But I remember distinctly having this feeling that the therapist was holding back.

Rhiannan OShea (05:40.191)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (05:50.686)
And like they were like, like you would say something and I'm sure now people like anybody else who's in therapy, you're probably gonna start analyzing this when you're in your therapy sessions because like, I would be like, why won't you just tell me? Like, why won't you just get to me straight? But it's very much like, they want you to discover it on your own, which I understand for some contacts. And I feel like depending on of course, the situation might be really helpful. But for me, I'm like, no, I want you to show me isn't that why I'm here? Like, I want you to show me

Rhiannan OShea (05:51.048)
Yeah.

Miriam (06:19.406)
what my problem is, number one, how I can alleviate this problem, number two, how I can fix it, and then how I can make sure and prevent this situation from like repeating itself or happening again. And it was just constantly like, you know, so much focused on like, and again, I'm curious what your experience has been, but like, mine was so much focused on like the emotion. And like, it was like, Okay, well, what about like how you're feeling and feeling and I'm like, Okay, but what about, you know, I think that's the difference is that

Rhiannan OShea (06:39.699)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (06:47.37)
in this type of work, regardless of whether it's feminine energy or not, like just this mindset personal development work that I like to focus on brings in the subconscious because it's like, what do you what kind of beliefs do you have rooted in there from when you were younger that is like hidden, that's actually causing you a lot of chaos or say you've had, you know, a traumatic experience, whether it be a divorce or like, you know, a breakup or whatever it might be, it's like, what else is lodged in there that we need to

chop up and like uproot that I feel like a therapist is like, sometimes they can get to it if they're a really good therapist, but how long is it gonna take and you don't know because the therapist is supposed to be the one that knows right, it's not really your responsibility, it's that person's. So I just distinctly, it was funny that I was like, I just remember being passively annoyed. Because I'm like, aren't you gonna? What are you trying to say?

Rhiannan OShea (07:17.631)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (07:37.736)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (07:43.999)
similar experience. So the whole scenario that kicked off me going to therapy was post-divorce, I met this super nice guy, still together, and we went out hiking and he said something like, oh, be careful near the edge of that cliff. Just looking out for me like a decent person, we're up, you're in Zion National Park, you would die if you fall off the cliff. And in my mind, I went, you can't tell me what to do. And I walked over to the edge of the cliff.

And he was like, no, I'm serious. Take a step back. And I was like, oh, now you're going to tell me what to do. I'm going to sit on the edge of the cliff. And like, I was pushing 30. Like, I'm not a child. Like, I should not have had that kind of reaction. And in my mind, I knew I was being like crazy. Like, I was literally like, fast forward four years from now, I would, or from then, I would like never go to the edge of that cliff. Like, I look at the picture I took and I'm like, oh, what a cool picture. I could have died for being so stubborn and independent. And that's when I was like, you know, like.

Oh, and then like I was coming back off the cliff and he like reached out his hand to help me and I like didn't take it. Like I was just so rude. And like I look back now and I'm like, okay, like trust issues, number one, ultimate independence. But really, it's like that wounded feminine that you've talked about in your podcast. And so when I started going to therapy, Wehling touched on the first two. Wehling touched on like the trust issues from being abandoned and feeling like you needed to be independent.

And like that's not really solving the root. And there's so much more that like, then I uncovered with my second therapist about just like general anxiety and control issues that like, yes, it was great to identify those, but I now feel so much more centered and calm doing the feminine energy work, that like anxiety has left my body, my system, my day to day.

more so knowing that I can be whole and still have these feminine moments and embrace this feminine side of myself without feeling weak and out of control and I can lean on somebody else and I don't have to know all the answers, which was so not me five years ago. I had to know everything. I had to plan everything. We scheduled in downtime. Like this is when we're going to relax on the beach. Like I just cannot imagine living like that anymore. And the podcast...

Rhiannan OShea (10:10.403)
even just that much less like what I imagine the coaching would be got me there so much faster than like the two years I spent with a really good therapist who did challenge me who did say like girl you cannot live like this is not normal like you're gonna burn out you're gonna do all these things she was great I love her I had nothing bad to say about her but like it was so expensive to get there both like emotionally and financially

that it wouldn't have been even going the coaching route. Like, it's wild.

Miriam (10:46.286)
is really brilliant. I'm gonna turn my mic, there we go. It's really interesting to hear that because it's like.

It's so hard when all you feel is like frustration and pain, and you really just don't know until you discover something, which it sounds like for you, like anything surrounding this, you know, feminine energy, openness, receiving, just not being in control and not having to like push and to like, you know, be very type A. What do you feel like when you started listening to the podcast? Because I mean, I think that, you know, your approach in listening to the podcast is gonna be a little bit different

Rhiannan OShea (11:02.772)
Yeah.

Miriam (11:27.676)
listeners simply because you know you listen to it with the thought of you know because you do help me with my content and you do help me with my emails and things like that and so you are looking for things as you listen of like okay what are other people that are resonating with this in addition to other branding things that we've talked about which is awesome so you have a little bit more of a critical ear and a critical eye towards what you're hearing which probably does help with i'm sure like intake and just like absorption but what do you feel like within those first and i mean

Rhiannan OShea (11:28.788)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (11:40.616)
Yeah.

Miriam (11:57.576)
because you know the podcast, let's see, the podcast has been around a couple months from the time we had started working together, but what do you feel like were some of the biggest things in those first like couple months that you were like, oh if I could nitpick even between like how I was feeling or what it is that I took in those first like couple months, what do you feel like, you know, was it openness, was it just like learning about feminine energy, was it the ability to just kind of be like, oh maybe I don't need to...

chasing control like my schedule or my calendar or like my life. I don't know. Like what was it?

Rhiannan OShea (12:28.167)
Yeah. That last thing you mentioned, so not needing to know all the answers, not needing to chase, but really you have a lot of content out there about not feeling guilty relaxing and truly being able to relax. And even when you talk about relaxing, you call people on it at the moment. And you're like, yeah, when you're watching TV and you're still returning emails on your phone, that's not what I call relaxing. You're quantifying and qualifying what relaxing should be. And it's not.

I've got a trash TV show on in the background and I'm still working on my phone or I'm doing something because I feel so guilty, truly just sitting there, letting my mind go numb at the trash reality show, which is how I choose to decompress when I finally remember I need to decompress. But that was like a huge thing. You talked about it pretty early on in your podcast series, but then it's been a repeated theme of like, you shouldn't feel guilty relaxing.

you need to fill up your own cup so that you can fill others. Like you can't give from an empty cup. And that like really resonated because I, I'd be on my computer, I work from home, so it's very like difficult for me to disconnect as it is. You know, I wake up and if I don't go to the gym, I roll out of bed and roll onto my computer. And then, well, I should just bring my laptop to the couch because I might as well just keep cracking along.

And so like that hustle and that guilt of relaxing, knowing that like I've got work waiting for me, I could never do. And it's something my therapist, God bless her, tried to get me to stop. She's like, put your laptop in the other room, put your phone in the other room. And I was like, I can't, like, I don't know what you want me to do. Like I'm not relaxing. And it wasn't until it was like, why do you feel guilty relaxing? That like really resonated with me. So like, that was probably a huge takeaway. And I remember asking you very early on,

relationship, like, doesn't feminine energy make you weak? Like you even did a podcast episode about it of like, no, it makes you stronger. Like this boss bitch mentality makes you weaker than like knowing your worth and waiting for things to come to you and not having all the answers and taking care of yourself first. Like that is power. That is like the better path because I was so like.

Rhiannan OShea (14:51.679)
I've always been young for my career, and I've always been in corporate world. And so I've always had this like super type A independent, like masculine traits that work. And it wasn't until like, I don't know, I felt like I had to just keep bringing that out in every other aspect of my life or I wouldn't be taken seriously. And so like me wondering if feminine energy maybe weak was like a huge concern at the beginning, to be honest. Like, I don't know, it feels kind of like.

I can just be soft and like enjoy myself and like put me first. Like that's not going to get me anywhere. Like that makes me a weak person. Like I'm no longer vice president, headstrong, corporate, like whatever. If I'm like feminine equals girly and it's completely not. I am. I've gotten more promotions. I've made more money all within the same line of work. I've had more time for myself. I've

done more things that allow me to achieve personal goals since leaning into my feminine than ever relying on that like hard masculine side to get me.

Miriam (15:59.222)
That is so amazing. And also just so fascinating. Oh my gosh. Like I love that you brought that up because I do remember that distinct moment where you were like, okay, but you know, feminine. And there's important distinction, I think between feminine energy and like feminine, because there's so many ways that can be misconstrued, right? Like, ew, you know, if you like pink and glitter and whatever, it just means that you're like a ditz.

Rhiannan OShea (16:03.283)
Yeah, it's wild.

Rhiannan OShea (16:22.527)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (16:28.138)
like a ditz and it's like, you know, equates with blonde and dumb blonde, like all of that. There's like, there's just so much underlying assumptions when it comes to like what it's like to be feminine. And I love that you made it your own and you do you feel like it was difficult opening yourself up to like even just trying or were you like, Oh, I don't really have anything to lose.

Rhiannan OShea (16:29.052)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (16:35.656)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (16:50.023)
I think I was probably a little bit more closed off to it, but because I was, like you said, like, had to listen to the content with a critical eye and a critical ear and try to pick out the pieces that, like, for me, this was homework at the beginning, right? Like this is a job I want to do right by you. I want to do right by your business. I want to find the things that I think are going to resonate with most people. And suddenly it became very selfish where I was like...

Oh, I like that the most. Like, so I think people would like that. And it's funny because you would see that things perform better when you really connect to it. So I would say I would probably have been very closed off had I just stumbled across the podcast because I didn't think I had any issues. I thought I had trust issues and anxiety. I never knew that those could all be resolved.

by doing something as so fulfilling and wholesome as embracing the other side of myself, because I've always just been in that masculine side. And so I hope that somebody who stumbles across your podcast gives it a chance. And really, having it on in the background is one thing, but listening to it like I did, where you're actually trying to glean coaching advice, like you're listening to it as almost an audiobook and not so much just like a gardening podcast you have on in the background.

That's where I feel like I just woke up one day and I was like, I can't wait to listen to Miriam's podcast and do my job, which is wild. And it was selfish. I was like, I want to go listen to... There are some episodes that maybe didn't apply to me. I'm not a mom, but a lot of my friends are moms. And so you've had some very motherhood specific podcasts that then I bring to my friends groups and they get something out of it. And so like...

If you're listening to the podcast in the background, I don't think you're gonna get the same impact as if you were looking like this is your mini coaching session once a week.

Rhiannan OShea (19:04.331)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (19:05.075)
Yeah, that's

Rhiannan OShea (19:16.362)
Yeah.

Miriam (19:20.818)
because I do have kids running around in the kitchen, I'm not gonna listen to that audio book while I'm at home. So I need to have an actual, and for those people that are wondering, there are transcripts for each podcast. So if you are like me and you wanna review the content, but you don't want to go and find out where that was, there is a transcript for each podcast and it should be accessible when you go to the podcast info. So if you do wanna read it, you absolutely can do that. But it's...

Rhiannan OShea (19:25.307)
Mm-hmm.

Rhiannan OShea (19:36.426)
Yeah.

Miriam (19:47.038)
That perspective, 100%, I mean, I love everything that you're saying here. I do remember that conversation too, when we were going back and forth about, okay, what is it like? Because in my mind, I was like, okay, I only want to work with somebody who is going to have a passion for this type of content. I mean, you really did take the leap because it doesn't get... I don't remember you saying you were overly familiar, you were kind of familiar with feminine energy, but just kind of like, yeah, stepping your toe in.

Rhiannan OShea (20:03.147)
Mm-hmm.

Rhiannan OShea (20:10.055)
Mm-mm. A little bit, yeah.

Miriam (20:15.226)
And so I love that for you. It's kind of like, oh my gosh, like when is the next episode going to come out? Because from my perspective, I'm like, OK, what do people need to hear? What do they need to understand? And so to see how the different topics have resonated based on how they intuitively come to me and how they resonate with you on the other side of things is so fascinating. And yeah, it's great to hear because I don't think, I mean, I've had a couple people who

Rhiannan OShea (20:33.469)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (20:41.558)
have come up to me or been like, oh, I love your podcast, but that's really all I get. I don't really necessarily get like, here's how it's like applied to my life specifically. How do you feel like it's affected your relationship? I know you've talked about the work side of things and how it's helped your work, which is so freaking incredible. But how do you feel like it's helped your relationship?

Rhiannan OShea (20:45.695)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (20:56.735)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (21:02.867)
Yeah, totally has. So like not only does my romantic relationship, but like friendships was a thing where I was like, I would say like it's absolutely affected my relationship and I'll touch on that in a second in a positive way, but like where I've gotten the most gain outside of work from just like, I'm gonna call them mini coaching sessions. Like it's not even just podcast episodes because I take it in such a different light, has been like my friendships.

I very much was always somebody who like, I had my high school friends and then I left high school and I had my college friends and then I left college and then I worked at this job and I had these friends and then I quit that job. And so like to me, friendships have always been very like seasonal and cyclical. Like I've never really had those like strong long-term like I can trust these girls with my life, they're my ride or die. Like I've had guy friends that I would

with my life, but I just never really had that close knit, consistent. When I'm friends with somebody, we are so close and then we fade and I'm fine with it. And so I always had that looming of, I don't have this close knit, ride or die, my tribe until I found this podcast. And I would say in the last, probably the last eight months really since I started taking this.

kind of stuff like in wholeheartedly. I have friends whose kids call me their aunt. I have friends whose kids call me their best friend. Like I have women in my life that I truly love. It's a different kind of friendship and it's because I've allowed myself to like be vulnerable and be open to these other women who I think maybe before I was like maybe more mistrusting of women for some reason. Probably should dive into that.

Um, and so like it's really been my friendships and I would say that has had a overall more impactful result on my overall happiness than like what it did for my relationship just because my relationship was already strong and it's one person, but this is like a group of 10 women that I could truly trust with anything directly because of this podcast and this work that you do. So

Rhiannan OShea (23:29.575)
Relationships with my parents also have improved. Kind of realizing I can be, I don't know, forgiving isn't weak and things like that. So that has been huge. In terms of the romantic side, like we were strong going into it. I think therapy did help with that side just because so many of my issues were like directly related to a relationship that altered. So...

But there are some episodes that you have of like, what feminine energy looks like in a relationship or how to make sure you're not emasculating your man in a relationship. And those I think are really hard to listen to. And you even say sometimes in them like, if this is getting hard to listen to, it's because you're being triggered. So go grab your journal and figure out why. And I'm like, I don't want to. Like, I'm like.

I know why I'm being triggered, but there was one that you did with a guest.

about what men and women need out of a relationship and that men aren't, there's no transition for them to be like little boys who are allowed to have all their feelings to men who are allowed to have none. And my boyfriend now is very, we have completely opposite love languages. He is always like this, there's no peaks. Something we talk about often is like, I feel like most couples are like, oh.

I love you more today or like, we just had this experience where I saw you save a baby raccoon from a lake and now I love you more because you're, you opened up this other part of my heart and he does not have that. He is, once I have his love, I have his love and it is never changing. And I think at the beginning that kind of bothered me because I was like, my love grows for you. Like.

Rhiannan OShea (25:30.111)
How could you still love me the same that you did four years ago? I love you more than I did four years ago. But with the feminine energy work, I've kind of just understood that I have so much validation for myself and so much confidence for myself and I have my own back. And he is very much a parallel partner in that where it's not like, I don't rely on that relationship so much. I would say like, we're very unique.

And a lot of it is like I went from having like abandonment issues and independence issues to like we're almost on opposite schedules. Like I go to bed super early. He goes to bed super late. He goes out to the casino with his friends or goes to play golf six times a week. And I'm like, great, bye. I'm going to go work at the farm. And like we love our alone time. And I was never like that, like in any of my past relationships. And so the work that I've done in Feminine Energy.

and therapy has helped me get to this point where like, I am happy on my own. I don't need another person, I want another person. And I think that's been super critical to build like a healthy lasting relationship is that I can want somebody, but I've got myself. And I can be both sides for myself so that I have a partner and not like a crutch.

Miriam (26:50.922)
Well, and not only, I mean, I wanted to bring up too with the human design aspect of things because you are a reflector, which for people that are listening that are in human design, reflectors are like a unicorn. There are not very many of them. And so Rhiannon's a unicorn, basically. I was gonna say reflector, but it's basically the same thing. So, which is, you know, it makes perfect sense that you would thrive in a relationship that does allow you to have more alone time because reflectors know themselves more and most and are...

Rhiannan OShea (27:07.86)
Yeah.

Miriam (27:20.738)
like most in alignment when they are, have a bulk of their time when they're alone. So it makes total sense. I'm over here like, yep, that's, that's mapping. It's like, which for a lot of reflectors, depending on what their life situation like, it's a battle to try and find and carve out that time for themselves. But I love that you, you just said like, I'm a partner to myself versus like having to lean on outside sources for that stability because, and I mean, that goes for all of us, right?

Rhiannan OShea (27:30.484)
Yeah. I could have told you that, yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (27:45.579)
Mm.

Miriam (27:51.238)
The goal is, is that you are first and foremost able to be your own foundation and your own support so that you are not seeking it from outside, very unreliable sources, even if it is a spouse. It's like that's not their job. It's like that's just an added bonus that you get from being in a relationship. It's not like, okay, I need to go in. Do you watch Love is Blind?

Rhiannan OShea (28:02.411)
Mm-hmm.

Rhiannan OShea (28:07.409)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (28:11.582)
Yes.

Miriam (28:13.046)
It's a dumpster fire right now. And that's why I literally, oh my gosh, I just, I get all the cliff notes from TikTok and the other, so why I'm bringing it up is because when I, I literally, my brain is like, you poor people, like, you need personal development so bad.

Rhiannan OShea (28:15.376)
It's the best.

Rhiannan OShea (28:27.543)
Yes!

Rhiannan OShea (28:31.259)
It's so funny. So my boyfriend and I watched Love is Blind together. It's like our girls night in. It's so fun. We judge hardcore the entire time. He's going to kill me for announcing that. But we literally just paused it like when we were catching up on episodes and we said like, you know, there's so many couples who are like, spoilers, but like, you're not allowed to go out for an hour and a half. I don't want somebody who's going to leave me for an hour and a half. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, we were both like, we paused it and we were like.

Miriam (28:37.518)
That's amazing.

Rhiannan OShea (29:01.043)
We know we're on the other side of extremes. And that's what works for us. But somebody's got to start a GoFundMe for some of these people who need a little bit of help, a little bit of Miriam, or just slide your podcast link in their DMs, because they're very reliant on the validation and the partnership and the physical, you have to be next to me. And I just, I remember being like that. And I think there's a lot of.

Hate to say it, people who are watching, there's a lot of Chelsea that I see in past me of like.

picking fights in my previous relationships so that I could hear the words, I wanna be with you or I still wanna be with you or no, I don't wanna break up or yes, I love you. Picking fights to get that ultimate validation. And I'm screaming at the TV at her, you don't have to live like this. You're gonna drive everyone away. You're gonna end up alone.

It's very frustrating, but it's funny you bring that up because that has been such a triggering season for me in the last few episodes, because I would say Chelsea is America's least favorite woman in reality TV right now, and I was Chelsea, you know? And now I'm like, you don't have to be like that. And the guy I'm with now would have no idea I used to be like that, to be honest. And I tell him, I'm open, I'm like, not to that extreme, but maybe.

Miriam (30:24.172)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (30:34.37)
Yep. No, I mean, I've experienced the same when I first got married. It was like, you know, when he would go to work, I was like, oh, what? How am I supposed to live? I mean, that sounds really crazy. So crazy. But now I'm like, it's horrible. Like even today, because he I mean, he works, but it's like kind of random. And today he was like, I was getting annoyed because I'm like, I just want to be alone.

Rhiannan OShea (30:42.483)
Yeah, like what do I do? Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (30:53.771)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (31:02.286)
which he won't be offended by that at all. But I was like, I just need one day to myself, please and thank you. And it's just so funny how, like my, how I think and how I process and how I'm like, okay, I because there are some times where I'm like, I just need a hot minute to see like, what's going on with me. And I need to do that, like, now that energetic head space of like, somebody else is in my like, world. And I'm like, okay, I just need to seek myself out. Which, yeah, I mean, the clips of Chelsea that I've seen are

Rhiannan OShea (31:02.388)
Yeah!

Rhiannan OShea (31:09.159)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (31:20.267)
Mm-hmm.

Rhiannan OShea (31:28.148)
Yeah.

Miriam (31:31.022)
cringe, so cringe. And I'm like, or girl, I'm like, I just feel for her because I'm like, what was your childhood like? Because guaranteed, it sounds like you were probably out the outcast. And you didn't have any love from your parents. And it's like a hot mess and a half. And like, you know, and I really do feel for her because I'm like, it is so traumatizing for herself to like be craving that much attention. Because you don't know you're literally a baby, a toddler at home who's like your parents don't love you. That's

Rhiannan OShea (31:32.551)
Yeah, real bad.

Rhiannan OShea (31:40.363)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (31:52.223)
Yeah, it's so sad.

Miriam (31:58.078)
you know, but she never grew out of that basically, as she's like, still that, you know, three, four year old, that's like, Oh, do my parents love me? Question mark, like, I've never really been shown love. And that's really hard. I didn't even know why I brought that up. Because, well, we were talking about relationship.

Rhiannan OShea (32:00.756)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (32:06.155)
Mm-hmm.

Rhiannan OShea (32:13.747)
No, I think just because I always struggled being alone. So like how you said, you used to be when your husband would go to work in the beginning of your marriage, you'd be like, well, what do I do now? I used to have these like, okay, know my husband or my boyfriend or whoever like I was with before, doesn't wanna go to the dog park today. I know that. So I'm gonna go to the dog park, I'm gonna bring my laptop, I'm gonna bring my headphones, I'm gonna go get myself a little Starbucks treat. Like it's gonna be so great.

And I would hype myself up and then I would like casually ask and be like, so do you want to go? And then I would, they would say no, as I expected. And I would like all the wind out of my sails and be like, well, I'm just going to sit on the couch and like mindlessly scroll for the next six hours until you get home. Because now I'm sad that you said no, even though I knew you were going to say no. And now I don't want to go, even though I was fine going like, and it was just this like constant mind game.

And now I'm similar to you. I work from home. That's my only option. My boyfriend can work from home or he has an office in person. And he chooses to work from home. And I'm like, when's the next day you're going to the office? When's that going to happen? I'm just curious. And it's literally so I can clean with my music on. Not that he cares that I have my music on, but I want to just be in my own head. I want to figure out my own things. I want to.

Miriam (33:26.222)
I'm going to go to bed.

Rhiannan OShea (33:41.759)
half start a load of laundry and then get distracted and go do something else, like, without worrying that I'm gonna be in somebody else's way. Like, but I'm the same way now. It's like night and day difference from where I was like four years ago. Where I'm like, you have plans tonight, right? Like.

Miriam (33:58.846)
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, your world doesn't revolve around somebody else's your world now is like, for the most part revolves around you and your energy. And, you know, and, and that makes it that much easier to be in a relationship because then you're like, okay, yeah, like, this is our biggest problem, right is like, hi, I just need some time by myself. But I would also like to do it here and not leave. Like, which is like not that big of a problem. Because you're just in my opinion, I do feel like it is that time that you spend

Rhiannan OShea (34:04.437)
Done!

Rhiannan OShea (34:20.603)
Yeah, right.

Miriam (34:28.522)
The time where you feel like you need to seek yourself out is, in my opinion, how you maintain stability. Because you are knowing yourself, trusting yourself, feeling into yourself, feeling into your needs. And I feel like not enough women do those activities where they're seeking out their own thoughts and feelings and emotions, because that's how you get to know you. That's how you build a relationship. That's how you create a partnership. That is how you fall in love with yourself, basically, to the point where you don't need some...

Rhiannan OShea (34:34.88)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (34:44.607)
Mm-hmm.

Rhiannan OShea (34:50.933)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (34:55.679)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (34:57.91)
Jimmy is validation. Um, to the point where Chelsea is like crying tears. Oh my gosh. Um.

Rhiannan OShea (35:02.355)
I love it. Poor Chels and Dragg. Well, and bringing it all back to like therapy, though, like I've done solo therapy with two different therapists and I've done couples therapy with the guy I'm with. And it's funny because, Miriam, we've been working together for nine months. I don't feel like you know anything about my relationship. You like and that's a good thing. Like the difference I'm drawing is like when I would go to solo therapy and be like, oh, like.

I'm feeling lonely or I'm feeling like overly clingy. It would be like, well, what's your partner doing? Like it was not just about me. And couples therapy absolutely is about both people, but even solo therapy was like, well, how does he interact with you on this? How does this happen in your relationship? How do you guys communicate on this? And like, that's all important, but like my relationship's gotten stronger because I've gotten stronger through my work.

with feminine energy. And so like couples therapy is about both people, solo therapy is not just about you when you're dealing with relationship issues, but feminine work and coaching is all about you. And it just like bleeds into everything else. Like my friendships got stronger, my relationship with my parents got stronger. Like my core values, knowing what I want out of life, I finally feel comfortable standing up for and sticking by. And then like also my relationship.

is like, everything's better because I focus on me. So like sitting there and like realigning with myself when I've got my next day of like alone time or going and manifesting my own, like curating it, going to a coffee shop with my journal or whatever. I feel like no matter the issues you're having, just getting to know yourself and like having your own back is something that you get more out of working with somebody like you than working with like a straight up therapist.

Even though they like both have the same goal, like, I don't know, it's just crazy. Like everything got better. And like, I'm better. Yeah. It's, it's really helpful.

Miriam (37:03.806)
Yeah, which is amazing. Yeah. Well, and I want to bring human design back into this because I was over here thinking, like, OK, you know, a lot of my clients are generators and manifesting generators, and you're a reflector. And for those people that are listening, if you don't know what you are, that's totally fine. But for those that do know what their human design profile is, it's because you might be sitting here thinking, well, I haven't gotten that same transformation, and I've been listening to Marion's podcast for, like, 11, 10, 12 months, whatever. So.

Rhiannon being a reflector, all of her centers are open, which basically means that like she takes in, she's, don't take this negatively, but you are essentially an open cup, like all for the most part, like all the time. So it's very tricky to have a sense of self for reflectors because they're like, if they're in a room with somebody else, they take on all their stuff. If they're like watching TV, they're gonna take in all of that. If they're in work, they're gonna take on all the loads.

Rhiannan OShea (37:51.851)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (38:00.698)
of all the emotions of everyone that they're working with. And it's a very, very draining. And so, but I think that in this sense, because you are totally open, you were just like, great, I'm just gonna take all of this. And then you were like, yay, sense of self, sense of something, because it was like, you know, which goes to show that this work is, and again, this is so great that we're talking about it in this context, because I'm trying to think, I haven't met a listener or a coaching client who's a reflector.

Rhiannan OShea (38:12.809)
Yeah.

Miriam (38:30.438)
or sorry, not a reflector, projector yet. But mostly everybody else, like manifestor, generator, manifesting generator, it's like there, if you're in that boat and you're like, I want the transformation that Rhiannon has experienced and you're not a reflector, your centers, especially the ones that are already full or defined, are, you're not, it's gonna take a little bit more effort to be like, okay, what's there that I have to uproot and take out?

Rhiannan OShea (38:58.091)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (38:59.266)
versus like Breanne is like she's completely open. And so she's able to see things differently than somebody like myself who's a generator. Because for me, I needed somebody else. Like I went through so much personal development, took courses, all this stuff manifestation and I couldn't get there without somebody else to be like, here are your blind spots. Here's like, this is where we're gonna yank it out. This is where we're gonna fix this, this is where whatever. But I love that.

Rhiannan OShea (39:08.096)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (39:23.886)
you that the podcast gave you the information and the resource and like the angle to approach at which you could be like, okay, great, I'm going to give this a go. This resonates with me. I love this. This is going to give me the sense of self. Because that's just, I wanted to kind of bring that comparison in from the human design perspective because I've had some more people say like, talk more about human design. And I just, I love that because I don't know how many other people would necessarily have that quick of like a...

Rhiannan OShea (39:28.84)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (39:40.851)
Yeah, for sure.

Miriam (39:51.99)
you know, oh, I'm gonna listen, now I'm gonna go implement right away, but you were ready for that information, right? Because of that human design approach. And that just is freaking awesome.

Rhiannan OShea (39:56.33)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (40:04.763)
Yeah, well, I appreciate everything you've let me go through with you on the side and a little bit closer. And yeah, I took it like a like a student, like sitting there taking notes in my notebook every podcast episode. So I think I just it looked at a little differently, whether it's my human design or just I'm also in a transitional phase of life. And so everything that I've learned has really helped me literally in all aspects. So I appreciate what you're putting out.

Miriam (40:29.57)
which is so amazing. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And yeah, so for those that are listening, if you are interested about human design, but also like I wanna have a transformation like this, I mean, take notes from Riannon, like get out your journal, like kind of dedicate some time, like you are watching a course or like you went to class or something like that, and maybe just pay more attention and.

Rhiannan OShea (40:54.356)
Mm-hmm.

Miriam (40:56.882)
Is there anything that you would share to the women that are listening that you're like, okay?

Some, it could even be like certain episodes that you were like, oh my gosh, maybe if I could have listened to that, you know, at this time period or whatever, it would have helped me even more. I don't know. Anything, it doesn't have to be that, but is there anything else that you're like, okay, this was really helpful for me or what really helped me that I wanna share?

Rhiannan OShea (41:21.395)
Yeah, I think it was just, it's a really good question. Like for me, it was.

Rhiannan OShea (41:32.015)
I used to just read the transcripts, which was helpful. And then I switched into reading them on the clock because I could read faster and then listening to them after for like my own selfish needs. But for me, it was like the journaling. Like I feel like therapists telling you to journal and Miriam tells you to journal and even in the middle of her podcast episode, she says, go ahead and pause and here's a little prompt.

Miriam solves the journal, which is fantastic. I have it. It's a great starting place for people who are like, I don't really know how to get into it myself. But for me, it was like every time she says journal, like do it. Like she's your drill instructor. If she says drop and do 20, like that's what you got to do. There's no saying no. But like it was very much like a muscle that I hadn't flexed before of like even writing, right? Like

we type and we text, like writing is such a personal, like you have to really think as you're forming the letters and you're recognizing how your writing speeds up as you get, or like starts getting really scribbly or scrawly as you like start pouring out. And I think that was like even really interesting for me, like that physical exercise of like grabbing a pen and paper and seeing how things changed as I got further on the page. And then...

The next time I did it, it was a little bit easier. And then six months later, like my journals in my purse, you know, like it's just that muscle that you have to flex and exercise. And then it becomes muscle memory. That was something I didn't ever do right with my therapist. She would tell me to journal and I would do it the day before our next session, like a kid trying to finish their homework assignment on time. And I never really put that thought and effort into it. And therefore I didn't get the results, but like.

Things changed for me here when I would have my journal with me listening to the podcast.

Miriam (43:36.366)
Amazing. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, for me, it's kind of in the same thing. It's like, you know, having the prompt, I feel like makes a world of difference because it's like, okay, it gives you an angle at which you can then dissect because I think a lot of people are like, well, what am I supposed to write about? You know, if you go in it to open, nothing really comes up, but if you have those like specifics, then you're like, oh, and then you can kind of like, you get more light bulb moments because then you're like, oh, what about this? And what about this? And it kind of gives you a direction at which to then.

Rhiannan OShea (43:37.768)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (43:44.144)
It really does.

Rhiannan OShea (44:03.871)
Absolutely.

Miriam (44:04.85)
understand yourself. So that makes sense. Yeah. Awesome. Amazing. Fabulous. Well, thank you so much, of course, for number one, always helping me because you're the best. And number two, for joining me here today, I think it was really insightful to hear your opinion as a listener, how you take in that information, and just also the impact that feminine energy and just taking in this approach and this personal development into your relationships with your girlfriends and

Rhiannan OShea (44:08.595)
Yeah.

Rhiannan OShea (44:17.799)
Nyeh.

Miriam (44:32.962)
your home and just how you're able to like with the work. Oh my gosh, it's so, so awesome to hear. So I appreciate you.

Rhiannan OShea (44:38.571)
It's been amazing. It really has been life changing. So thank you for everything you're putting out into the world and more people should take note.

Miriam (44:46.314)
Amazing. Awesome. Thank you. Okay. Yes. Awesome. Talk to you later.

Rhiannan OShea (44:49.439)
Alright, have a good day, bye.