Why Perimenopause and Menopause Brains Choose Comfort Over Change

Resolve to change without making your body the battleground. In this week's episode I unpack why self-sabotage spikes for women in their 40s and 50s and explain, with clarity and compassion, how a survival-focused brain chooses short-term comfort over long-term goals when hormones, stress, and diet history collide. Rather than blaming willpower, I reframe self-sabotage as protection, then map a kinder, more effective path forward.

I get practical about the peri and postmenopause landscape: declining oestrogen and progesterone affecting serotonin, dopamine and GABA, cortisol spikes during the festive season, and the dieting fatigue that primes the mind to expect failure. I walk through the emotional eating loop—stress, soothe, shame, restrict, repeat—and shows why removing foods without adding regulation guarantees a rebound. You’ll learn why willpower is lowest when you need it most and how to build results on safety, structure, nourishment, compassion and accountability.

Across six actionable steps, I share how to neutralise food language, stabilise blood sugar with protein-forward, regular meals, and use simple nervous system tools like slow breathing, grounding and reducing overstimulation. I show how shrinking goals creates momentum, how curiosity replaces shame, and why supportive accountability turns consistency into a habit. If you’re tired of starting over each January, this conversation offers a steady plan to feel calm, supported and finally in control.

If the episode resonates, follow, share with a friend who needs to feel seen, and leave a quick review to help more women find the show.

Are you a woman feeling stressed, flat and experiencing the challenges of perimenopause or menopause?

It’s time to reclaim your youthful energy, radiance and self-assurance (and your ideal weight).

I’m here to help with my proven method.

Here's how I can support you -

1. Hit your health and wellbeing goals this year, balance your hormones and lose weight with your own personalised protocol, based on your body's biochemistry. Sounds awesome right!! Book a free 30 minute Peri Weight Loss Assessment with me so we can discuss your health and wellbeing goals and also see how I might be able to support you. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book your call here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

2. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@the.perimenopause.path

3. Join the waitlist for my innovative NEW 8 week group program, In Your Skin™️, for women in perimenopause and post-menopause who want effective solutions to manage skin changes at this time of life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Holiday Headspace
• 1:06 Naming Self-Sabotage
• 3:04 Survival Brain Over Goals
• 4:16 Hormones, Cortisol And Cravings
• 6:15 The Emotional Eating Loop
• 8:11 Why Willpower Won’t Save You
• 9:47 Six Steps To Break The Cycle
• 12:04 Accountability And The GLO Protocol
• 13:30 Reassurance, Support And Next Steps
• 14:18 Follow, Review And Connect

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hi, I'm Susie Garden and this is the Ageless and Autumn Podcast. I'm an age-defying naturopath and clinical nutritionist and I'm here to bust myths around women's health and ageing so that you can be ageless and awesome in your 40s, 50s, and beyond. The Ageless and Awesome Podcast is dedicated to helping women through perimetopause and menopause with great health, a positive mindset, and outrageous confidence. Hit subscribe or follow now and let's get started. Hello, gorgeous one, and welcome to this week's episode of the Ageless and Awesome Podcast. So we're in that little period between Christmas and New Year where we don't know what day it is, we don't know what we're eating, what we're doing, not moving, all the things. And so today I'm gonna talk about something that I see all the time in my work and something that causes actually quite a lot of shame for women. And that is self-sabotage. That pattern where you start strong, and I'm thinking about New Year's resolutions, you feel motivated, you're doing all the right things, and then somehow find yourself back at square one. And maybe that looks like emotional eating. Maybe that's giving up after a one-off meal plan. Maybe it's thinking, what's the point? Maybe it's telling yourself, I'll start again Monday. And if this is you, I want you to hear this right away. You're not broken, you're not weak, you are not failing. Self-sabotage is not a character flaw, it is a nervous system and mindset response. And it's really common for women in peri and postmenopause. So today I'm going to explain why self-sabotage actually happens, why it becomes more common after 40, how emotional eating fits into this pattern, and importantly, how to break the cycle for good without relying on willpower or perfection. So, uh, as I mentioned, this is when I'm recording this podcast, I'm thinking about New Year's resolutions and how we set ourselves up sometimes to fail with trying to reach perfection. I think it's really why the majority of people give up on their new year's resolutions before the end of January. And I don't want that for you. If you want change, if you've been thinking every year I want to feel better in my body, I want to get more energy, I want to sleep better. If you've been putting up with things for years, now is the time to go. Right, 2026 is going to be my year, and I am going to make sure I don't self-sabotage and just give up. So let's dive in. So, what is self-sabotage really? We often talk about self-sabotage as if it's something that we choose. Like, why did I do that to myself? Why can't I just stick to it? Why do I always have to ruin things? But here's the truth: self-sabotage is not self-destruction, it is self-protection. Your brain and your nervous system are wired for one main thing, and that is survival. That is keeping you safe. Not successful, not lean, not confident, safe. And when you attempt to change, especially after years of dieting, stress, disappointment, your brain doesn't automatically see this change as being a positive thing. It sees uncertainty, it sees uh sees rather unfamiliar territory. Uh, there's this risk of failure, there's this emotional exposure. And when your nervous system feels unsafe, it looks for relief. And that relief often comes in the form of you guessed it, food, comfort eating, numbing, stopping altogether, and reverting to familiar habits. So when you sabotage your progress, your body isn't betraying you, it's trying to soothe you. Self-sabotage becomes more common in peri- and post-menopause, and this is not talked about enough. And here's why hormonal shifts affect emotional regulation. We have declining estrogen and progesterone, and that impacts our serotonin, our dopamine, our GABA. GABA is a calming neurotransmitter, and this means we have lower mood resilience, higher emotional sensitivity, stronger stress responses, and greater urge for comfort. And food, you know, that old friend becomes a fast, reliable source of relief. Another reason is our cortisol can be a little bit higher, a little bit more dysregulated. It's this chronic stress and our midlife kind of responsibilities can lead to elevated cortisol, and particularly around this time of year, this festive season, spending time with family can really elevate our cortisol. And that increases our cravings, our impulsive behavior, our emotional eating, the I don't care moments. And when cortisol is higher, your brain prioritizes quick comfort, not long-term goals. Also, you can get dieting fatigue. This is another factor. Most women over 40 have dieted repeatedly. I hear this all the time, all the time when I'm talking to clients on their weight loss assessments. So they've dieted repeatedly, tried all of the things, restricted for years, been good in inverted commas, and then bad in inverted commas, and blamed themselves for weight regain. And your brain remembers this. So when you start yet another plan, your subconscious says, here we go again, this won't last. And that belief quietly drives sabotage because the mind believes everything we tell it. That is for certain. The mind believes what we tell it. If you tell it negative things, it will believe it. If you tell it positive things, it will believe it. It's so important that we are always positive in when we're talking to ourselves, our self-talk. Really big part of self-sabotage. So let's talk about emotional eating because this is where self-sabotage often shows up, particularly in the field that I work in. So here's a common loop. One, you feel stressed, overwhelmed, tired, lonely, bored, or unappreciated. Very quick. Does that sound familiar? Uh, two, you reach for food for comfort or relief, and and then you feel temporarily better. You feel calmer, and then the guilt kicks in, the shame. You judge yourself, you talk negatively to yourself, you berate yourself, and then so you restrict and go, okay, I'm gonna be good in inverticomas. Or you start again, then the stress increases, and then the cycle repeats. This is not about lack of discipline. This is about unmet emotional needs. This is about a nervous system dysregulation, under-eating, and blood sugar crashes, perfectionism, self-criticism. This is complex. So food becomes a pause, a reward, a relief, a coping tool. And when you remove food without replacing the regulation, sabotage is inevitable, unfortunately. And let's talk about why willpower will never fix this. And this is where so many women get stuck. They think if I could just be stronger, if I had more discipline, if I stopped being so emotional. But willpower is a short-term resource. And here's the kicker when you're in midlife. Willpower is lowest when hormones are fluctuating, blood sugar is unstable, sleep is poor, and stress is high. Uh, perimenopause and post-menopause, anyone? Um, so relying on willpower in peri, particularly, is like trying to hold your breath underwater forever. It's just not sustainable. Self-sabotage isn't fixed by stricter rules, more restriction, punishment, starting over. It's fixed by safety, structure, nourishment, compassion, self-compassion as well, support, and accountability. So, how do you break this cycle? If this is something you're finding yourself in consistently over and over again, you did it last year, you did it the year before, and you're kind of like, do I really want to do this again? Um, let's talk about what actually works. So, number one is stop making food the enemy. Food is not the problem. Your relationship with food might be the problem. When food is forbidden, it becomes emotionally charged. When it's neutral, the urgency fades. When I'm working with clients, I remove that moral language around food and focus on nourishment, not restriction. Number two is stabilizing your blood sugar. This is critical. Many emotional eating episodes are actually hunger, underfueling, and cortisol crashes. And protein, regular meals, and adequate um calories reduce sabotage dramatically. Number three, regulate your nervous system. A dysregulated nervous system will always seek relief. And simple tools that you can bring into your day are just slow breathing, sitting at the computer, slow breathing, driving your car, slow breathing, walking, grounding, getting your feet out into nature, into the grass, into the soil, rest, boundaries, saying no when you want to say no rather than yes, and less stimulation. So splitting your attention between your phone, your screen, your social media, and the TV, for example. That's a classic to overstimulate your brain. You cannot think your way out of sabotage, you cannot talk yourself out of it. You must calm your nervous system and your body first. Number four, shrink the goal. Big goals create pressure. You think about it. If you have 30 kilos to lose, that seems insurmountable. Pressure creates avoidance. So breaking that goal into small achievable actions. What sounds better? I need to lose 30 kilos or I need to lose half a kilo this week. Right? Half a kilo this week seems way more achievable than 30 kilos. Small achievable actions build trust and momentum, and consistency beats intensity every single time. Number five, replace shame with curiosity. Instead of why did I do that? It's asking, what was I needing in that moment? How much more compassionate is that? This single shift changes everything. Use accountability, is my number six, my tip. This is the missing piece for most women. Not accountability that shames you, but accountability that supports you, that keeps you anchored, that helps you course correct, that normalizes setbacks, and that stops the spiral. And this is one of the key things that I think makes the GLO Protocol successful and stops women having to start over and start over is this accountability. We know from the research it works because you're just not doing it alone anymore. So if you've been stuck in a cycle of sabotage, and this can be over years, stuck in a cycle of emotional eating and starting over again, then please, please hear this clearly. Nothing is wrong with you. Your body, your nervous system is trying to protect you. And when you understand the psychology, when you support your hormones, when you nourish your body, you calm your nervous system and have accountability, self-sabotage loses its grip. And if you're ready to stop repeating that cycle and feeling steady, supported, and finally in control, I would love to help you. The Glow Protocol is my signature program designed specifically for women in peri and postmenopause who want sustainable weight loss, who want emotional eating freedom, hormone balance, mindset support, and accountability that actually works. You don't need another diet. You need support that understands you. You'll find the link to find out more about the Glow Protocol in the show notes and book in your peri weight loss assessment with me. I don't allow people to just enroll in this program without me having a good conversation with you first to make sure that we're the right fit to work together and to make sure you're ready for it. I have a great success rate, and it's because I think I screen really well. I'm not going to take you into the program if I don't think you're ready. So thank you for being here with me today. If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend who feels stuck in the same cycle. She will feel seen. And if you haven't already, hit follow so you don't miss future episodes. So until next time, take care, be kind to yourself, and I'll be back next week with some more fresh content. Thanks so much for joining me on the Ageless and Awesome podcast. If you would liked this episode, please make sure you click the little plus button if you're on Apple Podcasts or the follow button if you're on Spotify so that you get each new episode delivered to you every single week. If you feel like writing me a five star review, you would absolutely make my day. If you found this episode resonated with you, head over to my Instagram and DM me at the Perimetaports Park. I would love to connect with you.