Puzzle Buddies: A Comedy Podcast For Adults! Podcast Artwork Image
Puzzle Buddies: A Comedy Podcast For Adults!
5 - Ran Doesn't Help With The Puzzle, So Andrew Beats Him Up!
October 22, 2018 Ran Barnaclo

Season 2: Office Hours starts off hot! Ran comes back for his second appearance on the puzzle-cast and besmirches the host’s good name, so Andrew has no choice but to hurl a pot of piping hot pot of coffee into his face, disfiguring him horribly, in order to restore the Rudick family honor. Things quickly devolve into further mayhem as the pair discuss who would win in a post-apocalyptic fight over who would be a better father.  Lee “drops in” and Andrew learns what the word “compartmentalize” means.


Season 2: “Office Hours,” Episode 5.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1:0:11Devleti.

Speaker 2:0:14Kanafani.

Speaker 3:0:23OK.

Speaker 4:0:25And here we are at the puzzle cast welcome. With me today is a very special guest I think you might have recognized him from the last few seconds I ran Michaela.

Speaker 1:0:44How would you react. I mean hell why. Because you took too long to set up the podcast. No I'm bored. You're bored. Patrick just said. You're more concerned about I will come back to.

Speaker 5:1:01You guys will come back to dirty sock auditorium where I where I record my podcast Mandaric I'm on fucking number. And here I am in the in the filthy Sukh studio with my special guest from bullets broadcast by the way you to plug your gobbles up Levi's Tarzan's. My favorite podcast. It's like getting a name by Zane Gregor well-beloved and scrutinization.

Speaker 4:1:32Better podcast. I feel like we got off to a little bit of a better footing here. I do my podcast bag.

Speaker 6:1:39What the hell is that about your podcast. Bad. My puck is out of a bag on a zoom recorder and it took you.

Speaker 7:1:48I guess that's I guess that's the difference between a professional a carrier and whatever bullshit you've got going on. Can I just ask your question.

Speaker 8:2:02In professional Puckett's. Do they have a toilet constantly yelling yelling that you like to use me in the professional Puckett's studios. I haven't seen very many obviously but do they have dirty socks all over the floor and hangers Size Size Small hangers. Are the sound so chargers. Bad joke or silly. Oh your jokes spread my jokes but I'm.

Speaker 9:2:26Terrible premises all over your floor.

Speaker 4:2:30There is a cold whistle blowing.

Speaker 10:2:32Well thank you for having me and thank you. Yeah you were doing a podcast are we don't know which is because of the funday.

Speaker 11:2:43Am I supposed to be doing an episode of rubber bullets as well. We were double dipping behind this trouble supposed bunnies. I welcome the Rumble chips.

Speaker 9:2:53I'm rambo your host aka the Falcon with a human penis. I have a master named Machu Picchu I hunt for my family. I wear a cool leather hood sometimes and goats off of mountainsides who are haphazardly placed so they can fall down and my family can rest them and eat them they give me the heart because I'm a good Falcon. I'm also a former gremlin bartender. I used to work at a bar during Christmastime where gremlins came in and drank their guns. They would shoot up.

Speaker 12:3:19Is this what you do on your part. Yeah yeah yeah but usually I'm not interrupted by a fucking piece.

Speaker 8:3:31They get a little different okay because I noticed on the puzzle podcast you don't have a puzzle too.

Speaker 4:3:41We also. Yeah and now I had to break it down. And now. I'm going to delete that episode anyways.

Speaker 9:3:51Oh well then let me read the box for you are you get the pieces start to turn next season.

Speaker 13:3:57This is salt my guess. This is America's most popular artist cherry red line from Buffalo puzzles. This one is 500 pieces puzzle AK Rumbiak Cabazon at COB office and the Palmero there's a little green building in the first national bank.

Speaker 14:4:18There's a sunset. A horse drawn carriage house of one light on in a church in the background a lot of green and druidic in the name a pedophile.

Speaker 7:4:30For the record he did not say that still some peace get.

Speaker 4:4:34I'm not a pedophile everybody came from viewers allow it.

Speaker 9:4:39I really hate the viewers. Our friendship in five storied story friendship. Story is a. Lot to say loppers.

Speaker 4:5:00We've never shared a lover. What's wrong with you say that. No I'm just saying that we've been lovers. We've never been in love with each other you know. I mean we've been we've been lovers to other people that's not each other. So everyone else. Everybody. I don't know why you would be in this goddamn smelly room like him. I don't want to do a puzzle. Here. Like you did not do it. I didn't want Jerry persisted. I didn't want to do that.

Speaker 15:5:40I said Stan why you wouldn't want to have the most fun ever. I want to talk about you. You said you said we're too high a parcel podcast too Clyde damn it how it's not going to be funny because.

Speaker 12:5:57We did get to it. You started admitted crazy shit 19.

Speaker 10:6:02You all say you is a pedophile. I'm saying something racist. It's none of it's true.

Speaker 4:6:10It's all list when you're a very racist pedophile. Come on boys flip them Beezus watch and watch the man flip the eyes do like to feel the pain. And I'm not watching you. I'm not an emu I really love puzzles and winds me of the pieces in my life that I haven't yet. But. You if you haven't. I don't know. That's the point. That's the whole point of puzzles. You don't know until you get there much like life seeking it. Can give you a counterpoint. I would love to. When you said that just like puzzles you don't know what you get. You do because the pictures on the.

Speaker 4:6:57Way you. Talk about the picture is on the bottom. Andrew Yeah but you don't know what it's going to feel like to put the picture again. Okay. That is molly singing she has a very singing youth of a nation of song. OK we put pieces of your life you think you have flipped over. Oh very. Being a husband. A father. Yes. Perhaps was not a dad to me if I tried to imagine you as a dad. You're the dad that an older kid beats up in the neighborhood like Riddick and at least leave me alone. That doesn't make any sense. I'm like Ripton like. Oh yeah. Would you like your superhigh. I'm really going to fighting. You think you're going to fighting coordinated. Oh my god I want to see you throw a punch out of anger. I bet I can tell you what it's like. To try and spread to others. I bet I bet you're throwing a punch out of anger. It's hilarious. You had to defend your girlfriend.

Speaker 10:8:10You're like you're like a state defendant right now.

Speaker 16:8:14Defend or are fucking punch in the face you punch. I would love to punch me. You don't talk about my girlfriend. I will beat the shit out of you. I'll beat the shit out of me. Oh you're going to eat the fuck I'm going to posit put glasses on you just like can break.

Speaker 4:8:37I want to punch you in the day I put glasses on your face just so I can punch a man with glasses tapping your heart. Go ahead. We're back. We just got a random hospital. Yeah I just went to the hospital. And they laughed at me. They were like. What happened did a father get a bit off of that. Yeah well because you took me because you were crying the whole time and you were sorry. I would feel bad.

Speaker 17:9:08Excuse me sir. Me and my girlfriend put our quarter down on this pool table actually next you fucking nerd out sir. My girlfriend really wants to play pool here please. Now let's be gentlemen about this. My name. Nice to meet you minings Andrew. Dude if you touch me I'm going to beat your ass and your girlfriend she's a bitch and you like don't you.

Speaker 18:9:32But you don't you.

Speaker 4:9:35And then the guy is like what are you going to do about it. And then you get beat. No I would not. And. I would go get some hot coffee. So you will. Yeah. I get beat up they always say about them. It doesn't say about the bravest fighters they cheat and use weapons. Yeah you know it. You know what they don't say about them that they got beat up. You're telling me you're going to go get my coffee. I would go to Starbucks. I've heard they have a special hot coffee and I would get a large. And I tried to end his fake senti. So you don't go to. You don't get to McDonald's twice. You going to McDonald's and order a Whopper. It's called a venti. They know what I mean when I say large I don't have to pull. You know what I'm saying if I was asked if I was a Starbucks barista and somebody came and said look a large coffee I'd say you can please. Take off. You know it's you know it's a.. We've been around for 20 years. Take off. You got to hit the bricks because you know it's not large. I always get our large coffee. Throw you out on your toes. You took is what it hard. I could go next to that.

Speaker 4:10:56Love us dude look at me my fucking blue shirt would kill you if you. Put a puzzle down new a piece down and someone were worried about me hypothetically getting beat up. I'm going to show you. Guys were Grangers. Cool. First of all and my girlfriend he looks like his upper body is coming out of a puff of smoke jeans. He looks like a cigarette.

Speaker 10:11:26You just gave me a jacket which is really nice.

Speaker 12:11:28And I looked pretty cool in it. It's a step your damn game of and you're going to wear that jacket in your girlfriend's good looking to go. There's some difference. You. Like.

Speaker 10:11:37Really good today at the camp. I mean I punched Randolph more stylish Fred gave me a jacket.

Speaker 19:11:44You went into sex. Actually I think I'm. You know.

Speaker 20:11:51Me anyways.

Speaker 4:11:53We're here at the puzzle's details. Don't you think you flipped over in your life. Answer my question stop making me OK. What piece of the puzzle. I've looked over in my life as a woman. I've never gone skydiving and I don't know how to. Write. But.

Speaker 20:12:12You know what. What. Don't why bogus. Why.

Speaker 21:12:18It's stupid. Skydiving. What if I died. And you don't go skydiving help people. People that are so sad. That they need to jump out of an airplane to feel.

Speaker 19:12:32To be like wow. Dark assessment. I'm glad I didn't commit suicide because I know what it feels like Tomos die.

Speaker 21:12:38I don't think all thrill seekers are necessarily some some people are just adrenaline junkies. That's not true. They're lacking something in their life. We're all lacking something why are we getting on stage talking about our dangling. I'm not lacking anything. Oh please please me. I'm not lacking anything. I love this shit. But. You know what I'm not.

Speaker 22:13:01Skydiving. What else am I going to do that wakeboarding.

Speaker 4:13:07I don't want to do good go work boredom. No I'm not. And don't go because you're gonna get the good waves in your world for that. So what do you guys say. I'm in the other room. Lee and Molly who are Cincinnati's premier power couple. No we are. Not. With. Think so.

Speaker 20:13:35What else is on the docket.

Speaker 4:13:37I don't know. Is your fucking podcasts do any joint podcast gave up on that. This is. Wow. Who's going to watch you do a puzzle. Because you know what I think well he thinks that is your phone. Or was that your voice was my voice. I saw my phone.

Speaker 23:13:58I don't know what does it sound that the sound your throat makes the chair.

Speaker 19:14:05Oh what's the chair.

Speaker 21:14:09Do you want to be somebody is dead. Do I want to be somebodies dad. Now. I feel like. The World. I was very scared of apocalypse or. Oh really. I went to the bookstore.

Speaker 24:14:24Yeah I asked a lady for a recommendation for a book. Interesting when you like like like like. Postapocalyptic.

Speaker 25:14:33Apocalyptic and so she got this book is very good. It's called Dark Stars. Are we whispering where she might be here. But I told her I was like I don't know I really like postapocalyptic novels but one of my biggest fears is like living through an apocalypse. She was like yeah that's not really an irrational fear.

Speaker 4:14:52And I was like OK lady why don't you fucking calm down for I have a panic attack in this store. Dude what do you mean by that. It is an irrational fear. Why. Living through an apocalypse. Why. I feel like it can happen in my lifetime because you don't have to live through it. You know that right. What do you call yourself. You but what if there's naturalism and that there's some sort of penalty for torture. I don't think there will be a penalty if the world is over. But what if you Yeah. But then how do you how do you go about what kind of apocalypse are you talking about. Like I mean I'm scared scared when people eat people. Like I don't know how to fucking survive. I don't know how to make a book The Road. Yes which I love. Yeah. It's fantastic. OK so Skirving is like that type of apocalypse like the collapse of society or like. A comic or like a and nuclear. Or like what. Which one.

Speaker 26:15:50I mean there really any any kind with. I don't know. I just feel like I don't know I even except frequently zombies which was the scariest one.

Speaker 27:16:02These hearings one to me would be rather like a restructuring of society you know like the Rocha's were like people are eating people and like they're trapping people to be like sex slaves or to like eat them. You know what I mean they just fucked up shit like that where you're like just trying to hide from. Fucking crazy people like that to me is just that thought and so terrifying. And it just it's crazy to me like that. Everything you know. All the money and everything is like online on this electrical like.

Speaker 4:16:31I don't know like out there and though I don't I'm very stupid as you could tell but if everything were to break down you know the Internet were a stop for a day that would put you think of the Internet suffered day we'd don't really feel you need. I don't know like. That stuff from the Kickett back on that switch when bank account with Richard Branson. And Arase all the porn while you're at it. I have worn in my bank account. Fuck are you talking about my safety deposit box.

Speaker 12:17:06There you go your hand. Yeah. Nice Andrew. Good riddance to viewers. I feel like people are clapping right.

Speaker 6:17:15I can't I can have. It's OK.

Speaker 4:17:17I like the tone of voice of reason for it. Yeah I love it. Are you afraid of postapocalyptic post a pop. Yeah. Are you afraid of it. I'm very afraid. So is that what you don't want to be somebody who's father is because you're scared that people might eat people.

Speaker 10:17:34I'm scared of tional.

Speaker 19:17:37No I'm scared of the state of the world and the State of the decline people. Can you imagine living in 1935 right before World War II. Like most people's journey wouldn't be around if your pussy his grandparents were afraid. You got to just take it man.

Speaker 4:17:56Don't give me a pep talk. I'm fine. You'll be like I'm not stopping you from going out into the world and living my life. I'm just saying it's in the back of my mind postapocalyptic fears. That happens a lot. You are saying something wrong just like the way he does. If it does have any Ejō Aspers you're not going to I mean I have to face apocalyptic world habits. I am good A FUCKING KILL mocking.

Speaker 16:18:26Bird I that's what they I'm not scared I would pinch you up. I walk from my house and I'm coming. There's no rules. I'm going to throw a rock through your bedroom window.

Speaker 7:18:39Fresh pot of hot in here hot. It will be like. Electricity. Like that.

Speaker 10:18:50Weapon. I heat it up with my anger. I'm going to start screaming.

Speaker 4:18:56Yeah. Like all the puzzle scenes right. Right is choking me to death. I'm going to pour a hot coffee right in your face. I get a peach.

Speaker 28:19:08Happens. I'm going to come down here. I'm going to fucking kill you.

Speaker 16:19:14Wow this this podcast really took a turn to do what you would have kids. I don't know you know.

Speaker 8:19:24Your irrational fear subsided. You're 30 after inside you should probably really think about it right.

Speaker 19:19:31I should think about what you like think about having kids joining as kids. I mean I don't think it would be bad if you did.

Speaker 4:19:39Do you think you're cool dad. I think you'd be a good dad. I don't think anything about you is cool. You could say stuff like well let's go and do a puzzle and you take an hour to set it up and be bored. Like hey. After a while. Like you dropped him off at school he'd be like oh yeah that's my dad. He's that fucking Stringbean standin over there.

Speaker 12:20:02In a coat his friend gave him. That's what he looks nice.

Speaker 4:20:08Oh man. Thank you for the compliment I my coat welcome and also thanked me for giving it to you. Now we get just the first part.

Speaker 19:20:19If I was of home and have all hose I would be a damn good dad. I'd be a great father. Yeah they can be. I just don't and I just don't care where you a fun dad. Hell yeah but I'm not Warney and I hijinks.

Speaker 4:20:34I've never had a for your nature. Now my wife. Hey now my wife. That's a difference. Let me ask this woman pipes. OK I got a question for you. I hit her with a divorce. Postapocalyptic world. Vendy hit your kids. No. Really Kill Me kids drown. Okay that's. I don't want them slow me down. That's. Me. Yeah the comet hits. Come here boys only I only make boys.

Speaker 28:21:05You know I'm a man. When me and my my two young sons come in I'm like hello Gino here I'll.

Speaker 19:21:12Have the other virile and full spirit me but only 50 percent so they're not as good. Hey come in here boys. Your dad wants to show you. Something and then I turn out the lights. And.

Speaker 4:21:27Let the door stick. Drew laughs Yeah I can easily by my.

Speaker 29:21:31Oh my God.

Speaker 4:21:35You let your kids get on that train to eat them. You would train dogs to eat your kids two Rottweilers with the same names as my sons. Gino Arwin Gino with Geo Fox.

Speaker 21:21:52What if one of your sons fights them off. Does he become king. Nobody becomes my prince and the person. What if he kills you and revenge.

Speaker 4:22:00That's why for second the doubts of the dad by my son's hand. Actually.

Speaker 30:22:04That's cool. Some real royalty shit.

Speaker 10:22:08No. I read what I read. I just read that this is dark.

Speaker 25:22:13I just read that 4 kids per week murder their parents. What really. 4. On average kill a parent murder a parent. What are you reading in the sad news of a mountain Ladywell novel say a family news is that we read that it's great to know.

Speaker 31:22:31That there was a case study about this park that has gotten dark.

Speaker 17:22:39Still talking about the apocalypse. I was trying to ask if you are going to be dead but I would be dead and I'd be a great husband but.

Speaker 4:22:48You really are the puffin your should there not be a great husband. I just don't want to do it. Do you think that you could provide your wife with. Adequate or good sexual that is for them.

Speaker 22:23:01Yes because you know I will give you the actual question before I ask you know why.

Speaker 10:23:07Because I eat up. I guess I'll show you the right question. You know why. You know why my wife and Cigarroa because I eat it. That's why.

Speaker 12:23:23Because I eat.

Speaker 10:23:24You think you're the only one who down on women. You know what. That is changing the whole thing.

Speaker 4:23:32She says. Yeah. Don't ask me a question you don't have the answer to. I didn't want to answer that. Well I think you're right. I eat it. And guess what. It sounds like you're talking about a cannibal is gets at us. A fucking.

Speaker 10:23:49Tear. That's disgusting.

Speaker 29:23:52It's so fucking creepy.

Speaker 10:23:57Oh my God there are children. There's a kid's list and there are. If you let your kids listen to this you should get them taken away. Because I. I. Do. By the way any single ladies I was named would Widgery for sure do not. But if there are. Yeah. Randy eats it. If you if anybody wants to get.

Speaker 4:24:18And also. Guess what. Yeah. That's what you've been saying. That's why my wife would stick around because she knows that if she comes home she has a heart that Schwartzer neck rupture. What's it eating.

Speaker 10:24:33No saying it like that. You guys your cheap villains are get all weird when you say fluttering. Fucking weird. Thank you. Yeah I never get to eat again. I've never read anything good food my wife.

Speaker 19:24:50My wife comes home. She needs emotional support. I'm there for this baby what happened today. Please tell me about the things and then if she says she's like hey you know what else would help.

Speaker 4:25:00It's like rolling your eyes and your cheekbones like that when you say it means you fall. Character is like Tell me about far lol. Love jackets love leaves change the whole area that loves me fall for a day. God yeah. They'll come around me. Don't come around full rant he's a bad motherfucker. Hey oh by the way Rusike I wanted to tell this say to you soon as I saw you. Can you tell your feet that it's fall. And get the flipflops off. Can you tell your feet that it's fall and the. I can't because you can't talk to feet yet when you tell your feet get. Sore.

Speaker 32:25:45Would come for shrieking get some socks on. Listen we want to see your nails and fall.

Speaker 4:25:52I'm going to be a doomsday prop.. Are you really. Maybe you think you would. I think. I would like to know. Yeah I can see you with a bunch of bags of rice. That. You know. Dig in and take it in the race. I could see you doing that.

Speaker 33:26:08I think you're scared.

Speaker 4:26:13Tell your wife just like did I get here. I locked myself. I heard this with Parkinson's he said you did. I'm cutting all the Eden stuff. It's good. Don't. Like doing it. I'd love to. Don't.

Speaker 10:26:38Just don't. OK. No no no. Up there. It doesn't matter how life is.

Speaker 4:26:46I think I'm emotionally supportive enough to have a girlfriend. I think you know what happened. I think we're too selfish you're too selfish selfish. OK. Why not. Absolutely not. Now that's not me. There's no mystery. Yeah. Cool. Good to see you. It was good and great. We're going out to have a roommate walks. Right. I'm just going to film it completely naked. Film it. I hate my roommate everybody around here. Mine on line here. You're completely naked. I don't want to get away from. It. The best thing about hanging with the boys is. He. 8.

Speaker 5:27:42Jack off to it later. I know he did.

Speaker 27:27:45My roommate walks through here completely naked as a hilarious bit newer according Bleek Hambro do not follow him on any social media he might show you his penis.

Speaker 28:27:57No he won't do that. You know what you'll do sometimes when either one of are in traffic jams will send a picture of each other be like he'll send me one that says downtown is crazy today and it's like a selfie but one of his nuts is hanging out. And then I did it the other day I was like oh my god the traffic on the bridge is a nightmare one not hanging out. I was wearing black jeans so it looks easy.

Speaker 12:28:20Does it look like a baby. High brow slippers. The guy had a big trend. Because guess what Knights. That's wow.

Speaker 4:28:34I'm never having a man on the podcast again. Why you asked me if I would give my wife enough organs. Well no it's not dead. It's God damn Lee coming in here. I knew he was going to do that. I had a feeling he was going to do the hack. I know I know. Just when he was like that'll be my role or pop and I was like oh he's going to be naked yeah fucking. Love it. How did you do you own it. I love his naked body man. Did he make man. Yep that's because you're repressed. Why. You don't. Why you don't.

Speaker 20:29:12You don't.

Speaker 34:29:14OK.

Speaker 4:29:18That's probably because you don't like it say it right now if I want you know name is Terry maneuver to do as possible.

Speaker 19:29:32I don't I don't think oh that puzzle so gnarly skin the horn he has. I think it might be single forever. Yeah maybe I'll like it. And I'm saying I like it. My pats on the floor. I like it my bets on the floor. I have a little sadness many Fritz's isn't it. I'm not sad.

Speaker 10:29:55I see. No you don't. I see you doing what I love to do. If you think it's true. Because we know each other. No because you're happy right now and you're right. Not necessarily because you're happy now happy.

Speaker 19:30:11Well here's the point I'm going to make because you're happy right now and your relationship won't last because you're happy right now and your relationship can end soon you think. You say you think you want your friends to be as happy as you are because you want your friends experience because this is your brand of being happy.

Speaker 4:30:28It's not. I I'll give you that that is we do have different definitions of what we do know what it would take to meet to text a girl back. Where I am. At. 35 years old. A.

Speaker 22:30:40LA. You know what you do.

Speaker 10:30:48Just eat your flight. In order for you to text her back. Yeah. Is there any he's listening. There aren't. Stay away from RAND barnacled.

Speaker 4:30:57I do not subscribe to rumble webs because now we know where the name of the podcast. Yeah Bill guy likes to eat it. No that's not the. Votes start to sound like it. No it's just a bit I'm doing. I just put together pieces of life puzzle. I'm a nice boy but I don't I don't like I don't. Know. You're emotionally distant to say that it doesn't interest me now. Emotionally distant.

Speaker 19:31:22Now. Now. I think I get that I get that served. You're a lover you're a lover. I am but I get that Serbian in me did. Yeah. I compartmentalize things and I'm ready for it. I'm like.

Speaker 4:31:34I want to be honest I don't know that you're very Studi yeah. People always say that compartment I can say is this and I never deal with compartmentalizing as fitting things together. In one in. You're putting it in a compartment. You're putting that emotion or that you know you've just been. I feel like your definition it's very difficult to compartmentalize. No I don't.

Speaker 9:31:59I think that might be right but I don't think you know how right that was let me see here. Hey Siri. You if she thinks I'm hot.

Speaker 35:32:11Hazier what does what is that.

Speaker 36:32:14Why is it not working. OK.

Speaker 9:32:18Do it like this. Oh we are the Internet's down or something. Do you think you've grown as a lover.

Speaker 13:32:24Of course stude. I used to.

Speaker 10:32:26I used to get in there. Now do you think you get out. I take it up Apple.

Speaker 19:32:34I used to get in there starving and not knowing why I was so hungry and I didn't know one of the options was to just eat it. I didn't know that I was like you know I thought I'd just get an. Kiss on them.

Speaker 28:32:49Make them feel good and feel like they vote. And then I was just going through the motions.

Speaker 22:32:55But now now you're really flipping it I'm eating it. Do I need to tell you that meeting with me about his naked body.

Speaker 28:33:04Yeah. As a lover. Because for sure I'm older and I learned how to make people just. But yeah you should probably tell the weights put them on.

Speaker 4:33:11Where did you study it. Yes study the human body.

Speaker 30:33:16Ah. Interest you just got to. You got to be very upset when. Somebody reacts to something that I'm doing.

Speaker 10:33:27I'm going to do it. OK let's get off this topic. I didn't want to have this platform hearings or learn to talk. Now I am you're learning how to be a weekend get my over on the phone right now.

Speaker 4:33:41Now all of us got involved in this. I'm a very good mother. We should we should. Let's get on speakerphone. Say you can't say listen I'm Jubal.

Speaker 28:33:53Ubangi boom. The other Puckett's on speakerphone. I got a couple questions for her. Number one does my man.

Speaker 12:34:01Does he doesn't listen. Does he guy frequently. What did. You.

Speaker 29:34:11Do. And. I think that you now know of doing a bit. I think that you know that I know I'm entertaining that we know.

Speaker 37:34:30That 9/11 was an inside job. Sure and good question.

Speaker 4:34:35Something I've always wanted to talk about. Should person that I know knows things. Yeah exactly. I.

Speaker 17:34:44Like to pay them. Well see I would say the opposite as you are the biggest slouch put in place last night and you're useless is largely about posturing your terrible posture. I know.

Speaker 4:34:57How do you fix that. I don't know. Go eat a vegetable. Drink a water these waters just get what you eat. You eat bread and meat. And that's about it. Bad boy. I'm perfectly pocalypse. You should prepare for eating greens fresh picked from the grass might have to. That was a good idea. I'll get my body to about the facts. And you know what we shouldn't blame voters.

Speaker 28:35:23You know we should start going honestly we should start eating like little pieces of dog poop animal poop we find on the ground just tiny bits.

Speaker 4:35:32We're going to get sick for a while. OK. We're going to get like a little sick but when the apocalypse happens we're going to be able to eat full meals of will be yeah. We shrunk. Jack Welch. I say we I'm going to murder burger. Is that how I'm going to drive down here. I'm going to rack my jeep to your house because there's no rules.

Speaker 6:35:55Your wake up screaming you know thank you this is good because I don't I'm not afraid anymore I'm kind of hoping it happens and that I can throw a hot pot of coffee.

Speaker 12:36:05You know what happens after I kill you. What would you do with my bird. You know I'm going to eat it.

Speaker 28:36:16Did you get to hear my dead body. Yeah. No I'm going to lick your dad.

Speaker 10:36:23Oh my god.

Speaker 4:36:25Oh my God. That's right. OK. I heard a story out of this is true about a mortician who got pregnant. No. It's true or not. It's a work your race to say. What did you just.

Speaker 10:36:44Say. Because it came out of nowhere and I had to process it. You know I think he said I am. I am. Horny now.

Speaker 12:36:56For the first time in a while. OK dig this. Dig. This is how he starts this sentence again.

Speaker 9:37:04I didn't do this right then.

Speaker 25:37:06There was a petition who apparently is on trial being charged now. What the crime is. But she got pregnant and they tested it and it was a dead man's semen and she had sex with a dead body. Inside of her. It must have been freshly dead. I don't know if that means.

Speaker 19:37:26That unless is semen around his penis when this is taking center dark turn.

Speaker 4:37:33Wait wait a second no case. Wait a second. Just because your pockets called puzzle buddies it's like when you're the only kids I listen to this are kids like smoke cigarettes cool kids. Yeah. Thanks for listening. Yeah you won't be some cigarettes doesn't it. That's cool. All kids smoke your eyes your lips punk cigarette tobacco. I'm sorry go ahead. Worrisome isn't.

Speaker 28:37:56The only thing I can think is maybe she put a needle in the nut and pulled it comes out then shot it in or some moment Alma. You know what I mean.

Speaker 25:38:04Yeah.

Speaker 19:38:04She extricated Burnett yeah extricated Menges Sam last words. What do you think. Do you think. What if she starts writing a corpse to the corpse get a boner. Morris what you just say very good words. OK. So we're going to have to cut this book. Yeah I know. Yeah I know about rigor mortis but I don't think I think rigor mortis had of her. Does everything.

Speaker 4:38:35I know. I know you physically lock up in whatever position and I'm going to find out if the Bagala time I've tried to punch you in the face like kill me with a pot of coffee just started. And now start punching you with my strong. Now that I know you're going to do that every morning I'm going to wake up and throw a tiny bit of coffee. Every morning to train for this. So when you hear of instruments what are you doing.

Speaker 28:39:01So when when Don Trump finally runs this country and the Popple it's happened that I'm scared I'm going to be so ready for your coffee also.

Speaker 4:39:09You people listen to this podcast so far of course it's a stupid beyond that what do you mean you're an idiot. Excuse me. I am not very proud of myself. If you love me or want me to have a girlfriend now you want to love me and to be as dumb as you are and it's not going to happen on my watch. Sir. The boat wouldn't have gone down if I was watching.

Speaker 19:39:31You know what I mean. And you're not going to make me stupid either. I know a boat I'm talking about. You have but I was talking about the Titanic see how you get people people in his pockets are like him. Rudy.

Speaker 28:39:46Really shouldn't have ran on any more because Rand makes he he brings out all those glaring weaknesses.

Speaker 4:39:52A man is raped every. I've read things that you read about corpses fucking when they.

Speaker 10:39:59Get killed. Of course not Kobe was a super fucking natural and clearly fucked the court case. Reading your court did not give consent.

Speaker 5:40:08The two articles you cited so far this Puckett's on this episode I like 1 in 4 kids kill their parents and also no one to enforce it. 4 kids a week kill their parents. All.

Speaker 8:40:20Right now you want to just say yes no I believe you. I'm just saying that those are the two articles you cited.

Speaker 19:40:26A woman got pregnant with that man's gun and kids killed their parents four times a week.

Speaker 12:40:33Well clear. Read about what. Let me guess mate Pat Farmer. I read about crab farming.

Speaker 4:40:47I do with my time. What did they say. I've been reading Cujo you heard of this Stephen King.

Speaker 19:40:53No Cujo but fucking by John Grisham. Yeah Stephen it's good.

Speaker 4:41:00Heard of him. It's good you just read on writing. You should read that I didn't write afterwards. I did not. I heard it's really good. Dude I hate writing it. I must have love it.

Speaker 16:41:13She has to be in love with it. I like her. I like to. I like socks. I like the act of writing but. My. Brain. Doesn't.

Speaker 19:41:23Like when I'm thinking like oh this is the joke. This how it doing when I look at it on paper like this.

Speaker 27:41:29I feel like me and you are kind of similar. Maybe I mean.

Speaker 4:41:33I don't think I'm like the funny version. Yeah sure. Okay. I get it. Although the last time I didn't go on stage was verified show. Yikes. It's like a week ago now the state and I was like we switch and we always say it was right during leaves said he said. You guys did and dirty and I left because he was right. He called it like they.

Speaker 10:41:55You can't. I don't believe that.

Speaker 15:41:58I don't believe that it's possible when you hear funny music I talked about where I was like a friend's band and there were like All right we're putting the chairs down to sit down and shut the fuck up and watch the stream being go up and yell Yeah shouldn't that shit the best people comment.

Speaker 4:42:15I'm not saying I'm not saying I am I have to send some spired to do I went into this show knowing that it was going to be awful but I wanted to be able to be lighthearted or I can do good in spite of those obstacles. Those are the challenges that are like and that's so disheartening when you don't. You're like fuck like even if you suck. If you honestly look at it though and you did do your job because you took the bullet and then Chris Weir was headlining and he did great. You did great. You fucking crushed. It was crazy because you were just like you reacted exactly the way that I'm talking about where you're supposed to be in the moment. I just think that I can speak but can it change. Can I tell you what my mindset was. My mindset was high fuck your ass.

Speaker 28:43:01I was in a fog. But my mindset was definitely to have have fun in spite of those people.

Speaker 4:43:08Yeah because I got to do comedy that night so I was like dude I'm going to have fun. Honestly like I get on my head when like how it was me. He should be like I don't know why you do this you should you should be happy that you have a support system. You get to know your girlfriend only wants to see you do good. She only wants to see you. I know. Like I know it's not that you being in your head is your own fucking fault and because she's like she wants to see you do good and be that goddamned spaghetti man and wriggle around on stage like a little fucking salamander. She wants to see you beat that. That's attractive to her.

Speaker 22:43:45Because you know what that's going to deal with when she sees you do well. Don't just get to go out from. Well I have.

Speaker 16:43:54It. If you if I stop when I see you.

Speaker 10:43:58Well you know the word I don't want to have to kind I it's hard to figure out where it comes out and takes a minute to fuck with the case. OK I'll tell you this.

Speaker 4:44:07I don't love you like your girlfriend. But when I like you. Whatever it is take. I love you like a friend when I say you will to. When I see you do well you know. When I see you do I love you.

Speaker 22:44:18I get like this when I see you doing well. Oh. He's good man.

Speaker 4:44:24I love watching you. Do you know what I do and I see your door. God damn it. Yeah I know. Guys are doing it. Why is he doing better than me. No you. Yeah sure yeah. I'm happy for my friends. I see my friends who I'm like yes dude. I mean I'm like fuck them. You could have it may be a good.

Speaker 11:44:44Deal. Don't do that.

Speaker 4:44:46So your girlfriend wants a one day so she can go now. Good god I don't want her I don't want to have to cut anything out. You're not good. Well then stop making that goddamn awful noise. I just want to see my Bretzke going off air when we start recording. But you did do. You did do exactly what I thought.

Speaker 19:45:10What was going to happen. You get so with your head. With. Like when your lover lovers in the room did how.

Speaker 4:45:18You got to put that behind you. Because what happens when what happens with David Letterman is there to watch. You know what. So what happen when he the virus was there. I walked him the same day. Yeah.

Speaker 12:45:30That's what's going to happen here.

Speaker 4:45:33All right guys it's coffee it's not what you think it is. Don't. Market. It. Obviously doing a bit. It's not. None of this is serious as a podcast.

Speaker 11:45:47Would you be like this. Oh I thought this was NPR actually the way I feel about it is impure. Way more wet mouth sounds.

Speaker 34:45:57Welcome back. We're talking some to. Put together the pieces of her. Lines. My name is. Jabby. My name is John Muhammad. Ah. When we think about nuclear testing. You just jacking off.

Speaker 4:46:33That one landsmen. Oh we got to let you know we are very proud of this is right. Yeah whatever. Oh I mean you voted for half as people but let's throw. Randy Barnett clowning around. With favorite Cincinnati Cummock.

Speaker 25:46:50Right now he can be somebody. Are you on the board. You can be working and tell you even if he delayed the episode.

Speaker 12:46:56My favorite Cincinnati comedian is just like right now nutcase like my stuff right now.

Speaker 4:47:08I'm just kidding. Why did you blink like that. Because they wire my SO takes the pressure of water. You can't vote for me just. Because I know you're thinking. You can. Okay. Yeah I know you were throwing your name in there cannot vote for me. Your dog is your second favorite me and say. I'm. Not. Playing this. Today. Dras were. Voted for because we are 20 so. That's fine. He's great to tell you right. Yes of course. Getting another one. He makes me laugh. He's I wish I was going to be very mean. But I'll give you the real answer you offer to be mean after we do get our favorite saying our favorite Communion's city job fair we like least favorite least favorite and then it's awesome and it's always the same perhaps a 3 hour podcast. By the way about the same person every day. So if you're listening oh man just got a couple new followers. Rumball apps on Instagram. That's crazy. I would tell you to a. Well you can play rumble but God is with this Chrissake and podcasts.

Speaker 28:48:24Every time you pull a rumble it's because it's literally let the side stand up comedy doing Rumble is my favorite thing. It's a great podcast. This puts his soul into usually doing podcasts is my favorite thing usually.

Speaker 12:48:38Yeah. Usually. Yeah. And today is like your favorite. Yes you are a part of.

Speaker 4:48:47I get it because I'm a good interviewer and like I'm not and I don't need you I don't insult you you've been doing. You've been doing this podcast for about an hour let me look at my watch. You've been doing this Puckett's for about five weeks and. Not one episode has come out yet. Guess what when they do come out backlog baby and then I'm in the fucking gall. So this is 15 weeks from now. Baby 3 I'm a little concerned when I have to start releasing them just 7 months. Catch me I go bananas. They'll probably be there. Yeah. Just what's going on in New York.

Speaker 38:49:24You better can New York without me. I'm going in New York for two months.

Speaker 4:49:28Ooh he don't wait for a black heart. I mean there seemed to be plenty of ranting when somebody in New York. So if anybody wants to book him on shows any comics you certainly are not listening to this because it's not out and it's about nobody in your part. Fuck.

Speaker 23:49:49No. You just know that I can transfer and. You know. Did it out and just know that I want to do good like.

Speaker 4:50:03That. What did you get out now. I can't. Wait to. A. Touch. In your head. Derogated it's fine. Doing what I'm doing. What do you want to do. You want to land. Chris where's my comic of the week for you know the next. And I hope you and I don't get into a big fight in the 17 weeks it takes to go out but only me real mad I said it's like a name in the first book. You know I hope when this comes out in seven months that I'm not in an all fire barnburner with that man. OK that brings up that brings up my next new segment that I just thought of when you nominate that comic. You have to do a bit of there's really. No.

Speaker 23:50:51Because it's weird.

Speaker 4:50:53Yeah that's a real section. Again I don't know. It's ego that. Flying around in your head. You look like a dirty is. Yeah you do. Now it's by your tits. I. Didn't like it. It might have been a demon fly away. Well we got before in the puzzle. Yeah I got this bank will. You dig it. First National Bank how do we feel. I never know how to feel about these upsets. You have fun. I feel it was a good one. I talked a lot about dark stuff about the apocalypse. I did it. I mean that's not really how I am. Yeah you. Know. Try to get all sensitive for any ladies who are certainly not listening now that people are watching you. OK well what that what. Women are watching. Oh I do. I don't think you've ever had said judging by the noises that you just make. I don't think you do it. Let's call it some of your past lovers OK. Which one. Start with the first reason and then we'll go backwards. OK. Let's just send a mass text. How many people can you fit in a text message thread. It's going to be certainly fit one which is on the verge. Yeah that's right I'm a virgin.

Speaker 36:52:23This is good. This was really good. Somebody tag me in a thing.

Speaker 26:52:27Well listen everybody. Some final parting thoughts. You know if you feel down proposal. Grab a friend grab some podcasting equipment. And just have a good time. It's a puzzle.

Speaker 4:52:43Called Office Hours by Tim Well Terry Redlynch for tonight Terry.

Speaker 18:52:51Office hours are closed. This is.

Speaker 2:53:16Kanafani.

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