SPEAKER_00: Together, family church.
SPEAKER_00: Our Father in heaven, we bow before you.
SPEAKER_00: We do thank you for your great love for us.
SPEAKER_00: We know that we do love you, but we only love you because you loved us first.
SPEAKER_00: And we thank you that you demonstrated your love for us when you sent your son Jesus to be crucified on the cross for our sins, and then you raised him from the dead.
SPEAKER_00: And now, God, we've gathered this morning to meet with you, and we want to hear from you from your word.
SPEAKER_00: So as we open your word, this text is somewhat challenging to understand and apply, but God, would you give us grace to do it?
SPEAKER_00: And we pledge to receive everything you have to teach us this morning, and we receive it by faith, and we receive it in Jesus' name.
SPEAKER_00: And all God's people say, Amen.
SPEAKER_00: You can't be seated.
SPEAKER_00: Welcome again to Family Church.
SPEAKER_00: My name is Timmy Scrockins.
SPEAKER_00: I'm one of the pastors here.
SPEAKER_00: Every Sunday at Family Church, we have a Bible study.
SPEAKER_00: We're going to have our Bible study right now.
SPEAKER_00: So go ahead and get your Bibles out.
SPEAKER_00: Turn your Bibles on, on your devices.
SPEAKER_00: Grab a Bible from the pew in front of you.
SPEAKER_00: Find your program where there's a place for you to take notes.
SPEAKER_00: And let's go ahead and open to the book of Song of Solomon, chapter three.
SPEAKER_00: Song of Solomon, chapter three.
SPEAKER_00: We're in uh week three of a five-week study through the Song of Solomon.
SPEAKER_00: We're talking about attraction and romance and sexual desire and marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And we've been doing that for three.
SPEAKER_00: This is our third week at a five.
SPEAKER_00: If you want to catch up, you can do that on our YouTube channel.
SPEAKER_00: And the big idea for our talk this morning is that God has designed marital intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, God's design for marital intimacy leads to greater joy and satisfaction.
SPEAKER_00: God's design for marital intimacy leads to greater joy and satisfaction.
SPEAKER_00: We've already had a great time together, uh gathering.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, these songs that we sung this morning, I thought were so powerful.
SPEAKER_00: I love that new song about the love of God.
SPEAKER_00: I love that old hymn.
SPEAKER_00: It's old to some of us, about how much we love Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: My Jesus, I love thee.
SPEAKER_00: And then the song that our team wrote that we just sang about the love of Christ.
SPEAKER_00: It's all so beautiful, so powerful, and describes so much of what we believe here at Family Church.
SPEAKER_00: And then all of those baptisms from our church in Lake Worth Beach.
SPEAKER_00: That church in Lake Worth Beach has been replanted by people from Family Church downtown.
SPEAKER_00: And now it is growing.
SPEAKER_00: And we see all of those people coming to Christ and being baptized, and that's something to rejoice in.
SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, Mike and Jackie, just having Lily baptized today.
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, the trial of family, having you guys here and having you baptized today was so special to all of us.
SPEAKER_00: And getting to see that your family's been here your whole life.
SPEAKER_00: And now you're taking these huge steps.
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to know, you got baptized today, Lily.
SPEAKER_00: I want you to know that because how old are you?
SPEAKER_00: Nine years old, right?
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm a little bit older than nine.
SPEAKER_00: I'm 54.
SPEAKER_00: And what I want to happen is I want one day when you're 54, I want you to still remember the day you stood up there with your mom and dad, and you were baptized at family church.
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want you to ever, ever, ever forget it.
SPEAKER_00: And we're so proud of you.
SPEAKER_00: And that's such a powerful part of what we do when we get together on Sundays.
SPEAKER_00: So thanks for letting us share that with you.
SPEAKER_00: That's really special to all of us.
SPEAKER_00: Family's a big deal.
SPEAKER_00: Family is a big deal because this is what we do at family church, but it's part of God's design and God's plan for all of us.
SPEAKER_00: And today we're going to talk about how Christians view sex and intimacy within a marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And just to be clear, I know we have kids in here and everything.
SPEAKER_00: It's a family show.
SPEAKER_00: We're not going to get weird or ridiculous, but we are going to talk about intimacy in God's plan for it.
SPEAKER_00: Because in a marriage, what happens in the bedroom is really important.
SPEAKER_00: It can be really good or it can be a big problem.
SPEAKER_00: The truth is, most people don't ruin their marriages because of what happens in the bedroom.
SPEAKER_00: Most marriages are ruined because of a series of decisions that happen before we ever get there.
SPEAKER_00: And today's text that we're going to read from the Bible is a little spicy.
SPEAKER_00: It's one of the spiciest texts in the whole Bible.
SPEAKER_00: And some of you have never read anything like this, and you're going to be shocked.
SPEAKER_00: We've been studying through this for the last three weeks.
SPEAKER_00: Everything up until now in the book of Song of Solomon has been about anticipation.
SPEAKER_00: And now it's time for action.
SPEAKER_00: Remember, this couple has followed God's design, which means that they have pledged to one another that we're not going to awaken or stir up love until the appropriate time.
SPEAKER_00: They have followed God's design in this way.
SPEAKER_00: And now they're married, and it is the appropriate time.
SPEAKER_00: So let's read what happens.
SPEAKER_00: Song of Solomon chapter 3, starting in verse 6.
SPEAKER_00: This is poetry.
SPEAKER_00: There is imagery.
SPEAKER_00: There is illusion.
SPEAKER_00: There is metaphor.
SPEAKER_00: You'll see what I mean.
SPEAKER_00: Starting in verse 6, this is what the word of God says.
SPEAKER_00: What is that coming up from the wilderness like columns of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all the fragrant powders of a merchant?
SPEAKER_00: Behold, it is the litter of Solomon.
SPEAKER_00: Around it are sixty mighty men, some of the mighty men of Israel, all of them wearing swords, an expert in war, each with his sword at his thigh against terror by night.
SPEAKER_00: King Solomon made himself a carriage from the wood of Lebanon.
SPEAKER_00: He made its post of silver, its back of gold, its seed of purple, its interior is inlaid with love by the daughters of Jerusalem.
SPEAKER_00: Go out, O daughters of Zion, and look upon King Solomon with the crown of which his mother crowned him on the day of his wedding, on the day of the gladness of his heart.
SPEAKER_00: Then he says, Behold, you are beautiful, my love.
SPEAKER_00: Behold, you are beautiful.
SPEAKER_00: Your eyes are doves behind your veil.
SPEAKER_00: Your hair is like a flock of goats leaping down the slopes of Gilead.
SPEAKER_00: Guys, try that one.
SPEAKER_00: See how that goes for you?
SPEAKER_00: Ancient Hebrew compliments.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 2, your teeth are like a flock of shorn ewes that have come up from the washing, all of which bear twins, and not one of them has lost its young.
SPEAKER_00: Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely, your cheeks are like halves of a pomegranate behind your bale.
SPEAKER_00: Your neck is like the tower of David built in rows of stone.
SPEAKER_00: On it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.
SPEAKER_00: Your two breasts are like two farns, twins of a gazelle that graze among the lilies.
SPEAKER_00: Until the day breeze and the shadows flee, I will go away to the mountain of myrrh and the hill of frankincense.
SPEAKER_00: You are altogether beautiful, my love.
SPEAKER_00: There is no flaw in you.
SPEAKER_00: Come with me from Lebanon, my bride.
SPEAKER_00: Come with me from Lebanon.
SPEAKER_00: Depart from the peak of Amana, from the peak of Sener and Hermon, from the dens of lions and the mountains of leopards.
SPEAKER_00: You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride.
SPEAKER_00: You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.
SPEAKER_00: How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride.
SPEAKER_00: How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice.
SPEAKER_00: Your lips drip nectar, my bride.
SPEAKER_00: Honey and milk are under your tongue.
SPEAKER_00: The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
SPEAKER_00: A garden locked is my sister, my bride.
SPEAKER_00: A spring locked, a fountain sealed.
SPEAKER_00: Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates with all the choicest fruits.
SPEAKER_00: Henna with nard, nard with saffron, calamus, and cinnamon with all trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes with all choice spices, a garden fountain, a well of living water and flowing streams from Lebanon.
SPEAKER_00: Awake, O North Wind, and come, O south wind, blow upon my garden.
SPEAKER_00: Let its spices flow together in the garden of love.
SPEAKER_00: Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its choicest fruits.
SPEAKER_00: I came to my garden, my sister, my bride.
SPEAKER_00: I gathered my myrrh with my spice.
SPEAKER_00: I ate my honeycomb with my honey.
SPEAKER_00: I drank my wine with my milk.
SPEAKER_00: And this is the word of God.
SPEAKER_00: And all God's people say, Amen.
SPEAKER_00: That's a good, that's good, that's good.
SPEAKER_00: Now, so we know when we read this text, you can see that it's talking about marital intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: Because we know from the Bible that sexual expression and experience are only for marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Outside of marriage, these things are sinful and actually harmful, but within marriage, they are beautiful and powerful.
SPEAKER_00: These poems are describing intimacy between a husband and a wife.
SPEAKER_00: These two are strongly attracted to each other and have been for a long time, but they have done things the right way.
SPEAKER_00: They have not stirred up love until the appropriate time.
SPEAKER_00: Because they do things according to God's design, and so should we as Christian people.
SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about God's design.
SPEAKER_00: I want to walk you through this text again and just to give you a little context so you can understand maybe some of what it means.
SPEAKER_00: And some of you are like, uh, I think I got some of that.
SPEAKER_00: I know, but let me just let me just help you.
SPEAKER_00: Chapter 3, verses 6 through 11 is a description of Solomon's, one of Solomon's many weddings.
SPEAKER_00: We know that he was married 700 times and had 300 concubines.
SPEAKER_00: Certainly, all of his weddings couldn't have been like this, but this wedding, perhaps he's describing the wedding when he married the daughter of Pharaoh, and it was a big political deal, and it was very um, is a is a big display.
SPEAKER_00: Well, every single wedding, because some of you are like, well, I'm not a king, I don't have 60 armed men escorting me in.
SPEAKER_00: I didn't have a chariot built for me out of the cedars of Lebanon or whatever.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: But every family, when you get married, everybody does the best they can to throw the nicest party and the biggest thing that you can with what you have.
SPEAKER_00: It's important.
SPEAKER_00: It's an important occasion where you have all these symbols and rings and vows and candles and flowers and groomsmen and bridesmaids and pastors, and you come into a church or a venue and you you make these vows to one another.
SPEAKER_00: It's an important thing.
SPEAKER_00: I remember a few years ago, uh all of our kids, you know, were raised here, and our oldest son got married, got married right here in this room, and he had just graduated like a week before from West Point.
SPEAKER_00: And he and all of his football teammates came from West Point in their uniforms and their swords, and these were newly minted Army lieutenants, and they all showed up on that day.
SPEAKER_00: And when James and Riley, his wife, walked down the steps after they were married, they crossed their swords and they got to kiss underneath the swords right out here on Flagler Drive.
SPEAKER_00: And it just reminded me when I was reading this text.
SPEAKER_00: This isn't 60 armed men, but I was just thinking about the symbolism.
SPEAKER_00: Why is all of this important?
SPEAKER_00: It's important because the new husband shows up prepared to provide and to protect.
SPEAKER_00: If you take on the responsibility of being a husband, you are taking on the responsibility to provide and to protect.
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that your wife can't help you.
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that she doesn't have a role to play, but it means that whether she plays her role properly or not, or she's able to work or not, or you want her to work or not, she wants to work or not, you, husband, if you take on this responsibility, you take responsibility to provide and to protect.
SPEAKER_00: It's a heavy responsibility.
SPEAKER_00: And ladies, if you're thinking about getting married, you should marry someone who you think will take on this responsibility of providing for you and your family and protecting you.
SPEAKER_00: Not that you don't have a role to play, but that is the role of a husband according to God's design.
SPEAKER_00: I remember when Kristen and I got married in 1994, the First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, Florida.
SPEAKER_00: It was a room somewhat similar to this.
SPEAKER_00: And before we walked out, I was going to come out first with the pastor, and then the bridesmaids and the broomsmen would come in, and then Kristen would come in.
SPEAKER_00: But I was in the back with the pastor, and I was standing there in my suit, and they were playing some music.
SPEAKER_00: And the lady who was the wedding coordinator, her name was Mrs.
SPEAKER_00: Makepeace.
SPEAKER_00: Can you believe that's the name of the wedding coordinator?
SPEAKER_00: So she, Mrs.
SPEAKER_00: Makepeace, gave me the signal.
SPEAKER_00: And about the time she gives me the signal, it hits me.
SPEAKER_00: This is a big deal, man.
SPEAKER_00: You might think, you might should have thought of that before.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: That's what I was thinking when I was standing back there.
SPEAKER_00: I I just started thinking, I'm gonna take responsibility for this woman.
SPEAKER_00: I I'm telling her dad, we're gonna move to Kentucky together.
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling her dad, I'm gonna be responsible for her.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna make sure nothing happens to her.
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna make sure she has whatever she needs for the rest of our lives.
SPEAKER_00: And then if we have kids, I'm gonna provide for them.
SPEAKER_00: And that turned out to be a big commitment.
SPEAKER_00: And so I I I I was like, wow, and I was standing back there, and I felt like a thousand-pound weight got dropped on me standing in the back of the church.
SPEAKER_00: And then Miss Makebee said, Go! And I said, Okay, and there I went, there I went.
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad that I did.
SPEAKER_00: But it's a responsibility, it's a responsibility, it's a God-given responsibility, it's a beautiful responsibility.
SPEAKER_00: And Solomon models this.
SPEAKER_00: And because Solomon and his bride have followed God's design and stayed within biblical guardrails.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, she saved herself for him and he saved himself for her.
SPEAKER_00: And they didn't cross God's boundaries until the appropriate time.
SPEAKER_00: And now his family is there, his mother is there, crowning him on his wedding day.
SPEAKER_00: The families are participating, they're rejoicing with this new couple.
SPEAKER_00: That's what's in view here.
SPEAKER_00: So let's walk through some more of the text.
SPEAKER_00: Look at chapter four.
SPEAKER_00: Chapter four, Solomon starts giving his bride all of these amazing compliments.
SPEAKER_00: Verse one, your eyes are beautiful and your hair looks amazing.
SPEAKER_00: Very standard stuff.
SPEAKER_00: Verse two, even in a world without modern dentistry, your teeth look fantastic.
SPEAKER_00: Verse three, your lips and your mouth are perfect.
SPEAKER_00: Verse four, and your neck and your jewelry also.
SPEAKER_00: Did you see where he started complimenting her?
SPEAKER_00: He starts at the top of her head and he's moving through her face, right?
SPEAKER_00: Which is important because remember last week we talked about the importance of modesty, and what is modesty?
SPEAKER_00: Modesty is presenting yourself so that the attention of others is drawn to your face and your heart and your character before anything else.
SPEAKER_00: And that's a good principle, ladies and men.
SPEAKER_00: Present ourselves so that the attention of others is drawn to our face and our heart and our character before anything else.
SPEAKER_00: So Solomon starts at the top of her head, but he is definitely working his way down.
SPEAKER_00: He's not rushing things, he's savoring things.
SPEAKER_00: He's enjoying everything about his new bride.
SPEAKER_00: So he doesn't stop at her neck.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 5, he begins to notice everything else.
SPEAKER_00: And he knows, he says, I'm gonna have to be gentle, and I'm going to have to be tender, and I'm going to have to take my time.
SPEAKER_00: Because, like a fawn in the forest or a gazelle in the wild, this has to be approached with great tenderness and great care.
SPEAKER_00: If I'm going to graze among the lilies, which that phrase is used again in verse 5.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 6.
SPEAKER_00: He says, We're going to do this until morning breathes.
SPEAKER_00: In other words, we're going to do this.
SPEAKER_00: Uh we're going to be connected tonight in a way we've never been connected before.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 7.
SPEAKER_00: I like everything about you.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 8.
SPEAKER_00: He says, It's almost like you've been inaccessible to me.
SPEAKER_00: You've been guarded all this time by mountains.
SPEAKER_00: They're wild animals standing watch over your virtue, but now you're not going to be inaccessible anymore.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 9.
SPEAKER_00: He says, You've captivated my heart.
SPEAKER_00: And how did she captivate his heart?
SPEAKER_00: She captivated his heart.
SPEAKER_00: She captivated his heart with her eyes before he ever touched her anywhere else.
SPEAKER_00: And he's waited for the appropriate time.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 10.
SPEAKER_00: He says, I'd rather get together with you than do anything else.
SPEAKER_00: You are better than the finest wine.
SPEAKER_00: You are more valuable to me than the most expensive perfume.
SPEAKER_00: Look at verse 11.
SPEAKER_00: Your lips are magnificent, and I really enjoy kissing you.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 12, up until now, the garden has been locked to me, the spring has been locked, the fountain has been sealed to me because we have these boundaries, but I'm okay with that, he says.
SPEAKER_00: Which, by the way, again, let me say to all of you singles, whether you're young singles or whether you're mature singles, if you are dating or thinking about dating or thinking about getting married again, if you are a Christian and you are dating, remember this if you value the destination, healthy Christian marriage, you're going to value the guardrails along the journey.
SPEAKER_00: If you value the destination, healthy Christian marriage, you will value the guardrails along the journey.
SPEAKER_00: So Solomon says, I'm not breaking into the garden.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not breaking into the spring.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not breaking into the fountain.
SPEAKER_00: I'm only going to move forward when she is ready for me to, and only after we say, I do.
SPEAKER_00: Verse 13 through 16, he says, All these things were inaccessible to me, but they're not going to be inaccessible to me anymore.
SPEAKER_00: I absolutely love doing wedding ceremonies.
SPEAKER_00: I think it's great.
SPEAKER_00: It's one of the most special, most fun things that I get to do.
SPEAKER_00: There's several couples in here, and I've performed your wedding ceremony.
SPEAKER_00: It's a blessing.
SPEAKER_00: And I like doing it in this room when I get a chance to.
SPEAKER_00: Everybody wants to go to a venue now, but I like this venue right here when I get to pick.
SPEAKER_00: I like it here.
SPEAKER_00: And people come down here and they stand here and they stand here with the bride and the groom.
SPEAKER_00: And eventually get to that part where we do the vows.
SPEAKER_00: And I say to the man, will you take her as your lawfully wedded wife?
SPEAKER_00: Will you love her and cherish her and keep her and keep yourself only for her as long as you both shall live?
SPEAKER_00: She says, I will.
SPEAKER_00: I say the same thing to her, and she says, I will too.
SPEAKER_00: I love that because they're taking vows.
SPEAKER_00: They're saying, I'm going to keep myself only for you.
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to love you and cherish you and keep you for the rest of our lives.
SPEAKER_00: That's when everything is being done in order, being done in the appropriate time.
SPEAKER_00: That's why she says in verse 16, after this happens, after we make these vows to each other, the garden is now open to you, and you can enjoy everything in the garden.
SPEAKER_00: And verse 5, chapter 5, verse 1, he says, Yeah, I'm ready.
SPEAKER_00: I'm ready to go into the garden.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm ready to have my honey and my honeycomb and wine and milk.
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how they really go together, but okay, he's gonna, you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_00: He's enjoying everything that is there.
SPEAKER_00: So what are we actually going to learn from this text?
SPEAKER_00: If you're taking notes, three things.
SPEAKER_00: Number one, I like you to write down, number one, we should desire God's gift of marital intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: We should desire God's gift of marital intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: It's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00: You know, our society has made intimacy so common.
SPEAKER_00: You see it on billboards, you see it on every streaming show, you see it in music, you see it on TikTok, it's everywhere.
SPEAKER_00: And so intimacy is treated like it's just not a big deal.
SPEAKER_00: But in this book, God is elevating our view of marriage.
SPEAKER_00: God is trying to give us a transcendent view of marriage when a husband and a wife come together.
SPEAKER_00: And I want you to know this is an important part of life.
SPEAKER_00: This is not just some uh some random result of millions of years of uh unguided evolution.
SPEAKER_00: This is God's design for human beings and human flourishing.
SPEAKER_00: It's natural and it's normal and it should be enjoyed in Christian marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, multiple studies show, and you can look this up for yourself, multiple studies show that if a husband and a wife are both practicing Christians, that they have much higher levels of satisfaction than anyone else in their marriage, they have much higher levels of satisfaction in their intimate life than anyone else, and they have more frequency in their intimate life than anyone else.
SPEAKER_00: So, what does that tell you?
SPEAKER_00: Keep coming to family church.
SPEAKER_00: That's that's what it that's what it tells you.
SPEAKER_00: So, because listen, when we stray away from God's design, it is sinful, it is sinful, but it is also harmful.
SPEAKER_00: Boundaries are meant to add to the experience, they're not meant to detract from the experience.
SPEAKER_00: And it nothing in life works that way.
SPEAKER_00: Think about sports.
SPEAKER_00: I like to watch sports all the time, but sports are only fun to watch or participate in when you have rules and boundaries.
SPEAKER_00: Think about football.
SPEAKER_00: Football is my favorite sport.
SPEAKER_00: I like to play it, I like to coach it, I like to watch it.
SPEAKER_00: But but if you had a football, you just put a bunch of players out there and said, What are we supposed to do?
SPEAKER_00: Whatever you want.
SPEAKER_00: Well, how many guys can be on the field at a time?
SPEAKER_00: Doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_00: Well, which way are we supposed to be going?
SPEAKER_00: Whatever way you want.
SPEAKER_00: How do we score?
SPEAKER_00: However, you want.
SPEAKER_00: How do we get the ball back?
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
SPEAKER_00: It would be a chaotic game and no fun to watch or participate in at all.
SPEAKER_00: How about driving?
SPEAKER_00: What if you just gave everyone a car and no rules and no lines and no guardrails and you said, Where are we going?
SPEAKER_00: Wherever you want.
SPEAKER_00: Everybody just start driving.
SPEAKER_00: Just go across the yard, go around the back.
SPEAKER_00: Just start driving.
SPEAKER_00: It would be chaos and there would be crashes.
SPEAKER_00: And what about fire?
SPEAKER_00: It's fun to have a fire pit.
SPEAKER_00: Outside, you know, in the three weeks of time that it's fun to do that in South Florida.
SPEAKER_00: You can have a fire pit outside and you can roast marshmallows and have fun out there.
SPEAKER_00: But fire's good when it's got boundaries.
SPEAKER_00: It's not good when it gets out of control.
SPEAKER_00: It can burn up the whole state of Florida, the state of California.
SPEAKER_00: And why is that the way that it works?
SPEAKER_00: Because God has made love and marriage the exact same way.
SPEAKER_00: God gives you boundaries.
SPEAKER_00: It's not supposed to take something from you, it's supposed to protect something for you.
SPEAKER_00: These boundaries that God gives us don't take something from you, they protect something for you.
SPEAKER_00: Now, the sexual revolution promised all of us freedom without consequences.
SPEAKER_00: They said, because we've got birth control widely available, there'll be no more unintended pregnancies.
SPEAKER_00: And some of you guys look at us and you're like, I bet Pastor Jimmy's one of those preachers who thinks birth control is a sin.
SPEAKER_00: He probably grew up a Catholic.
SPEAKER_00: I don't think birth control is a sin.
SPEAKER_00: We just didn't use it effectively.
SPEAKER_00: And so that's how we have all of these.
SPEAKER_00: But I will say this family planning is fine.
SPEAKER_00: But the sexual revolution promised that you would have no consequences at all.
SPEAKER_00: No more guilt, no more shame, just free love.
SPEAKER_00: Love whoever you want, love them however you want, love however many you want.
SPEAKER_00: The only boundary they had in the sexual revolution is consent.
SPEAKER_00: But this room is full of people who were wounded deeply because of the principles expounded in the sexual revolution.
SPEAKER_00: There are people in this room who I would describe as refugees from the sexual revolution.
SPEAKER_00: You already went out there, you tried it all, you experimented with all of it, and it broke you inside, and it damaged your soul, and it hurt you in so many ways.
SPEAKER_00: And now you're in here, and the reason you're here is because the emptiness and the regret and the shame you felt out there drew you to try to find something better, more meaningful, and something that would help you and not hurt you.
SPEAKER_00: And God's design for intimacy in Christian marriage is the proven way to have the most satisfying, productive, fun enjoyment of intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: And the guardrails on the journey are part of that.
SPEAKER_00: Number two, on your notes, we should honor God's design for marital intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: We should honor, so we should desire it, but then we should honor it, honor the design.
SPEAKER_00: At Family Church, we say sexual expression and experience is for marriage.
SPEAKER_00: And that's true for kids and teenagers.
SPEAKER_00: It's true for you too.
SPEAKER_00: If you're middle-aged and you're single again and you're a Christian, true for you too.
SPEAKER_00: You should follow and honor God's design.
SPEAKER_00: But why has God designed it this way?
SPEAKER_00: Is it just testing us to see if we can obey his rules?
SPEAKER_00: Or are there reasons for that?
SPEAKER_00: Well, there are reasons for that.
SPEAKER_00: Why did God give us the gift of marital intimacy in the first place?
SPEAKER_00: Here's on your notes.
SPEAKER_00: First reason he gave us the gift is to produce children.
SPEAKER_00: Intimacy is how you produce children.
SPEAKER_00: First page of the Bible, Genesis chapter 1.
SPEAKER_00: The first command of God to people be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.
SPEAKER_00: You guys understand we got a big problem on planet earth.
SPEAKER_00: Every single country in the world has a declining fertility rate.
SPEAKER_00: It's bad for the economy, it's bad for the future.
SPEAKER_00: It is a terrible thing.
SPEAKER_00: At family church, let's not participate in the declining fertility rate.
SPEAKER_00: And family church, let's be an oasis of an increasing fertility rate.
SPEAKER_00: You say, well, Pastor Jimmy, you say that like every week.
SPEAKER_00: I know.
SPEAKER_00: And the reason I say it every week is because you're getting the wrong message everywhere else that you go.
SPEAKER_00: If you are going to be married and you're going to be intimate, you should be open to children.
SPEAKER_00: You should help.
SPEAKER_00: And some of you are like, I don't want to have kids because, you know, the environment, and I don't want to have kids because the financing.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, listen, uh, Chris and I were on a vacation uh last year, and we met this super cool young couple, way, way younger than us, and they were super jacked, and they were all tied up, and they're they were they were just awesome.
SPEAKER_00: You know, we we were talking to them out there, we made friends with them, and they said, Hey, we have one kid.
SPEAKER_00: We're thinking about having another kid, but we decided not to.
SPEAKER_00: I said, How come?
SPEAKER_00: He said, Well, we like to work out.
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no kidding.
SPEAKER_00: These guys we like to work out, you know.
SPEAKER_00: And uh we also like to travel a lot, like coming out here where we're at, and we really like to go out a lot during the week.
SPEAKER_00: And we realize if we have more children, we're not gonna be able to work out as much, and we're not gonna be able to travel as much, and we're not gonna be able to go out as much during the week, so we just said we're not gonna have any.
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, man, you're robbing yourself of so much.
SPEAKER_00: Children and grandchildren in a future together and watching them grow up.
SPEAKER_00: And I would just encourage you, especially if you're not married yet and you're aspiring to that.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, I would just encourage you.
SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying to have, you don't have to have as many children as I do.
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you could have more if you want, but you could have less if you want.
SPEAKER_00: But the point is, that's part of the package that God's given you is this should be part of your plan.
SPEAKER_00: Second reason for uh intimacy is it is relational glue.
SPEAKER_00: It is relational glue, it sticks you together, it sticks you together in a way nothing else does.
SPEAKER_00: That's why God gave you this gift to stick you together.
SPEAKER_00: And the reason it's so important that you only are intimate with your spouse is because you're only supposed to be stuck together this way with them and nobody else.
SPEAKER_00: That's why it's so destructive when people go outside the marriage relationship.
SPEAKER_00: And I do want you to know that satisfaction can only be found in exclusivity.
SPEAKER_00: Satisfaction can only be found in exclusivity.
SPEAKER_00: Next thing, intimacy is communication.
SPEAKER_00: It is communication.
SPEAKER_00: So uh Solomon in this text, he's speaking to his bride.
SPEAKER_00: He's thought about her, he's studied her, he's interested in her.
SPEAKER_00: Solomon isn't making it all about him, he's making it all about her.
SPEAKER_00: He communicates admiration, he communicates respect, he communicates closeness.
SPEAKER_00: And I do want you to understand that intimacy and communication in a marriage are so closely tied together, I think it would be fair to say in most cases, when intimacy breaks down, communication is also breaking down.
SPEAKER_00: When intimacy is breaking down, communication is also breaking down.
SPEAKER_00: And so if you find this part of your marriage, it's grown cold or it's just it's just not what it ought to be, then I would encourage you to try to reignite this area of your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: If you're like, we don't know how to do that.
SPEAKER_00: Come see us in your church family.
SPEAKER_00: You're like, I don't think I want to, I know, but if you'll come see us, we're not gonna give you instructions about it.
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna direct you and connect you with resources who can help you with this area of your marriage from a biblical point of view.
SPEAKER_00: It is worth fighting for and it is worth reigniting, and I would encourage you to consider that.
SPEAKER_00: And finally, the reason God gave it to us is it's fun.
SPEAKER_00: It's for fun and pleasure.
SPEAKER_00: God wants you to enjoy it.
SPEAKER_00: When you read the Song of Solomon, one thing you should take away is wow, they really think this is fun.
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you should too if you're married.
SPEAKER_00: In a Christian marriage, it should be fun.
SPEAKER_00: And again, if that's difficult, come and see us, and we'll help direct you to the right resources.
SPEAKER_00: Hey, God didn't want intimacy to just be allowed in your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: God wanted intimacy to be awesome in your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: It's not supposed to be just allowed, it's supposed to be awesome.
SPEAKER_00: But in addition to those reasons, God designed intimacy and God designed marriage to even have a more transcendent purpose, a more cosmic purpose, because it points to something even bigger.
SPEAKER_00: Number three on your notes.
SPEAKER_00: Christian marriage should point our family and friends to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: How does it do that?
SPEAKER_00: Here's why.
SPEAKER_00: Because when two people commit to one another, are faithful to one another, love each other unconditionally, forgive each other, stick together no matter what.
SPEAKER_00: When two people fight for it, when they do that, they're showing their spouse, their kids, and everyone who knows them what God is like when he loves his people.
SPEAKER_00: And when we fail to do those things, we tell a story that's not true about God and how he loves his people.
SPEAKER_00: And you guys know this.
SPEAKER_00: The whole world treats intimacy like it's just casual, like it's no big deal.
SPEAKER_00: But God's word tells us it's not casual, it's sacred.
SPEAKER_00: And when you take something that God says is sacred and you treat it like it's casual, then you discard the beauty and you discard the meaning and you discard the power.
SPEAKER_00: And that's why, if you've done that, I want to invite you to recover the sacred beauty, the sacred meaning, the sacred nature of intimacy.
SPEAKER_00: And I'm also cognizant that in this room, some of you have been so broken in this area, and there's so much regret and so much shame for you.
SPEAKER_00: In this room, many have failed.
SPEAKER_00: So when I start talking about this, you're thinking about body count, you're thinking about broken hearts, you're thinking about your broken marriage, you're thinking about your betrayal and your relationship.
SPEAKER_00: But I want to I want you to hear this if you hear nothing else.
SPEAKER_00: God loves you with an everlasting love.
SPEAKER_00: And God will never, ever break his promises to you, and God will be faithful to you forever and ever.
SPEAKER_00: And what you should do is turn from your sins and turn to Christ and receive Jesus by faith for yourself.
SPEAKER_00: Jesus was crucified so you could be forgiven, so you could be healed, so you could be restored, so you could be renewed.
SPEAKER_00: He said, Well, that's not really possible.
SPEAKER_00: It is possible, and all around you are refugees from sin and the world and everything out there who have found Christ and are being renewed and restored and made different.
SPEAKER_00: And many of us would say, Hey, I'm not the man that I want to be, but thank God I'm not the man that I used to be either.
SPEAKER_00: When you become a Christian, you begin to recover and pursue God's design for every area of your life.
SPEAKER_00: So, regardless of what has happened to you, regardless of decisions that you have made, Jesus loves you, he keeps his promises, and he's always faithful.
SPEAKER_00: Now, this sermon has been about how a husband gives himself to his wife, and how a wife gives herself to her husband.
SPEAKER_00: But what makes that possible for Christians is Christ has already given himself for us with his broken body and his shed blood, and we remember that together every Sunday when we take the Lord's Supper, and we're taking the Lord's Supper right now.
SPEAKER_00: We take the Lord's Supper, we eat the bread, we remember the broken body of Jesus, we drink the cup, we remember the shed blood of Jesus.
SPEAKER_00: And the Lord's Supper is for Christians.
SPEAKER_00: People have received Jesus by faith for themselves.
SPEAKER_00: And at Family Church, we believe and we teach it's best for you to take the Lord's Supper after you've been baptized by immersion as a believer, like Lily did this morning.
SPEAKER_00: And you should take the Lord's Supper after you become a member, a part of a neighborhood church.
SPEAKER_00: And if you're here today and you say, Well, I'm a Christian, I've been baptized by immersion, I'm a part of a church, but it's a different church.
SPEAKER_00: Okay, if you're a believer, you've been baptized, and you would take the Lord's Supper at your church, take it with us today as part of the extended family of Jesus that goes around the world.
SPEAKER_00: But right now, let's pray to the Lord.
SPEAKER_00: Let's bow our heads and close our eyes.
SPEAKER_00: Let's confess our sins.
SPEAKER_00: Let's draw close to Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Let's remember Christ.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to recommit to your marriage.
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to recommit to following God's design.
SPEAKER_00: But let's draw close to the Lord, and then in a minute we'll eat and drink the Lord's Supper together.