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Church family, let's pray. Father, we thank you for the sweet moment that you give us to worship you in song. To align our hearts, to tune our hearts to yours. Lord, we pray that worship would continue not just in song, but in sermon, not just in music, but in a message. Father, you know exactly what we need to hear. We ask that you would be glorified, that your people would be edified, and that your enemies would be terrified. I pray that the words of my mouth and the meditations of all of our hearts would be acceptable in your side, for you alone are our rock, our redeemer, our strong tower. Today we're talking about handling conflict. We come to you for your design, your wisdom, your word on this matter. Would you give us what we need? Would you teach us what we do not yet know? And would you make us who we need to become for the sake of Christ and his kingdom? We pray all of these things in Jesus' name and for his reputation alone. And all who agreed with that said, Amen. You may be seated. Good morning. Jimmy called me a couple weeks ago and said, Hey, can you come and preach on uh the Song of Solomon? I said, Finally. Yes. What chapter? Chapter one, attraction. He said, No. I said, Chapter two, uh, courtship. Uh, no, no, no. I said, Oh, intimacy. I got it, man. The love doctor will arrive. He said, No, no, no. Can you come and talk about arguing and conflict? I said, Yeah, man, why me? He goes, you know, Kristen and I, we've never gotten in an argument, so we need an expert to come in. So apparently I'm the conflict expert. That's why uh I am here. Uh I consider myself kind of a handy guy. Uh usually when things break in our home, uh, I could fix them. I could work a little bit on our AC unit, done some plumbing, uh, painted stuff on the walls. Nothing too complex, but but I like to feel like I'm like I'm handy. Uh a few weeks ago, well, a few months ago, I noticed that uh we have some wood flooring in part of our house, and it was uh it looked sort of uneven. And I thought, well, I need to sand that, maybe stain that, and um, and um a few months after that it picked up a little bit more, and I thought, wow, it's kind of bowing up. I wonder if there's moisture there. It didn't look too drastic. There was no water stain, so I thought, okay, no, no, no problem. We'll address it. Maybe the sun is hitting that wood. It's newer wood, so maybe it's, I don't know, getting used to the climate or something. That part I had no idea. Uh, some of you are thinking, yeah, you're not handy. Uh, but I I thought I was. Uh, and then eventually I almost tripped on this piece of wood that was really bowing up. We discovered that it wasn't water, it wasn't moisture, um, it wasn't uh the the wood being affected by anything on the outside. We realized there was something on the inside that we had no idea we had. It was something I was uh completely new to. We had termites. Man, they were having a little party uh in our very home without us knowing. Um probably for months, if not even longer. And they're not just in one spot, they're not localized, they're in three different places. So I did what any red-blooded American would do. I went to town. I got a saw, I got insecticide, and I went ballistic on various uh areas of our wood flooring that now have plants over them, so you can't see the damage. Uh, and I saw them and I was uh mortified because I was just thinking, man, this stuff could be everywhere. What are we gonna do? And then I called an expert and he said, uh, all right, uh, we're okay. I know what that is. What have you done? I said, Well, I treated the problem right where I saw it. He said, Okay, I need you to stop doing that because there's a bigger problem than you think. There's a nest. I said, All right, how do I find out where the nest is? I know how to kill stuff. Let's go, let's go get the nest. And uh he goes, actually, the nest could be a hundred yards underground somewhere else. Um, let me let me come over and see what's happening. Incredibly frustrated for a guy like me. I work really hard hard for our home to be a nice place, a warm place, um, a safe place. And um, there was something attacking my home, and I had no idea that it was doing that. It felt odd. I felt um vulnerable. You gotta maintain a home. You have to be intentional and volitional and actively maintaining a home. And um, I felt like I wasn't doing that. It it takes intentional attention and intervention. What's true of homes is even more true of marriages. Marriages require intentional attention and intervention. Marriages do not naturally grow stronger, they actually naturally grow apart. Many marriages have something living attacking them without them even realizing that it's there. And today we're gonna go to Song of Solomon because he's the expert in this area. And what we find in Song of Solomon, the series of poems written by Solomon, is God's wisdom, God's plan, God's design. Usually marriages don't draw together, they drift. Unless there's intentional attention and intervention, they drift apart. They don't drift towards intimacy, they drift towards isolation. It requires constant maintenance. So maybe some of you are here, you say, Well, I'm not married. This is for someone else. I'll pray for them really quick. Uh no, not so fast. I need you to stay with me because I think there's something here for everyone. But what's the what's the reality of marriage? The reality of marriage is you don't fall out of love. You fall out of trying. That's what happens. You don't fall out of love, you fall out of trying. Life pressures hit you, work, kids, fatigue, and then all of a sudden, what was a romantic, thriving, healthy relationship is just uh roommates knocking out tasks and overcoming challenges together. A well-oiled business machine that accomplishes its goals, but what was once there is no longer there. Two sinners getting married multiply the sins. This chapter deals, two chapters deals with conflict. It's actually the biggest section of the book is handling conflict. So the question's not if you'll fight, the question is how you'll fight. Now, the good thing for the Christian is that conflict doesn't have to always be a bad thing. I wouldn't go as far as saying it's a good thing, but I would say that conflict is a God thing when it's handled the right way. It exposes, it helps you to grow. Why? Because we have the gospel. We have a message of reconciliation and forgiveness, and so when conflict actually happens, you reconcile well. You're putting the gospel of Jesus Christ on display to the world and the people around you. And so what we'll see here is this couple, for the very first time, is going to face conflict. And it'll answer really two questions. Can I become someone who knows how to resolve conflict? Can I learn how to handle conflict well? And will I be able to do it in the most important relationship I have? Marriage. Song of Solomon, chapter 5, verse 2. Song of Solomon, chapter 5, verse 2. Uh, we're really gonna do our best to just walk through the passage of Scripture with the 22 minutes and 47 seconds we have left. I appreciate, uh, Pastor Derek, that you put this timer. Uh, I call it a suggestion. Uh that's that's like kryptonite, man, to a Cuban uh preacher. We'll do our best to uh stick to that. Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 2. The first thing we'll see if you're following along and you're listening guide is you have to, uh Christians that stay committed, even in conflict, they have to fight the drift towards complacency. They have to fight the drift towards complacency. Song of Songs, chapter 5, verse 2. I slept, but my heart was awake. A sound. My beloved is knocking. Open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my perfect one. For my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night. I have put off my garment. How could I put it back on? I had bathed my feet, how could I soil them? What's happening here in this poem? They've been married sometime, we don't know how long. She said she was sleeping and now she's awake. Her husband's knocking on the door. He says his hair is wet with dew. In other words, it's hard, it's a hard world out there, and I've pushed through every obstacle so I could be with you. What's happening here? Guys will usually pick up on this pretty quickly. This husband wants to be close to his uh wife. He he comes home, he's ready for uh, let's call it connection, shall we? Let's keep it PG, uh keep it PG, to be honest. Uh connection. And he's expressing it the same way he did back in chapter 4. Remember the same vocabulary he's using here, so he's bringing out his best game. He's saying all the right things. He's pursuing, he's initiating, same way he did on his wedding night, and she responds, I put off my garment, how could I put it on? I bathe my feet, how could I soil them? What's she saying? Translation from Hebrew, I have a headache. She doesn't even get up, she kind of yells from where she is. What happens when in a marriage, your expectation and your actual experience, uh, when those two things don't line up, how do you respond to that? How do you respond when your expectation and your experience not only they don't line up, they actually collide. This is not what I was expecting. How do you respond to that? There's misalignment, there's miscommunication, there's competing desires moving in different directions. One guy wants connection, she wants rest. Is there anything wrong with either one of those? Absolutely not. And suddenly this couple we've watched enjoy deep unity is now pulling apart. Earlier in their relationship, they talk about their relationship as a garden. Talk about her body as a garden too, but mostly it's used as the relationship. And it says these foxes are uh corrupting the garden. So those are pressures from the outside are affecting our relationship. But here it's not pressures from the outside that are affecting the relationship. Now, these pressures are from within. How do you respond? Pressures from within. It's not little foxes, it's internal. Could be a different desire, it could be a different priority, it could be a different expectation. How do you respond in that moment? When your spouse doesn't come through the way you want them to come through. What is he gonna do? Is he gonna retaliate? Is he gonna explode in anger? Is he gonna walk away and shut down? Is he gonna give her the silent treatment? How do you respond when your feelings are hurt? That's what's going on here. We see our second point, you pursue restoration and conflict. You pursue restoration in conflict. Verse 4, my beloved put his hand to the latch, and my heart was thrilled within me. I arose to open to my beloved, and my hands they dripped with myrrh, my fingers with liquid myrrh on the handles of the bowl. So the scene, she's lying in bed, her husband's knocking, he's interested in connections, she's not. Eventually he leaves, and she lies there. And something happens. She has a change of heart. She gets up, he's gone, though. She realizes what's happened. It's the first time in the book we see a real disconnect between the two of them. And now, let's be clear: it's okay for one spouse to want intimacy and another spouse to want rest. That's completely normal. But we see the first thing she does here is she acknowledges the problem. She realizes I could have responded differently, not by forcing a moment to happen, but I could have gotten up, I could have opened the door, I could have engaged him face to face. I could have been honest with him. I could have looked him in the eyes because he deserves that. I could have been honest with him because he deserves that. I could have responded with care because our marriage deserves that. But she didn't do that. Instead of distance, she says, she realizes she could have offered presents, and this tells us something important about marriage. Conflict is not a failure of marriage, it's a part of marriage. Conflict is not a failure of marriage, it is a part of marriage. Some of you carry these expectations on marriage that it was never intended to carry. I work, I don't know if you guys know, at uh Palm Beach Atlantic University. And um, every now and then students will come in and say, We want to get married. You know, will you marry us? And I go, No, no, I won't. Uh, but tell me why do you want to get married? And you're like, Well, we're in love, you know. And I'm like, sweet, you're gonna finish school? Well, no, we're just gonna get married. I'm like, cool. So who's gonna pay for school then if uh you're gonna get married? Leaving Cleve and all that? Well, I said, Man, just tell me what you love about him. And she begins to describe him. And usually if he's like a junior or a senior, I know this guy. So she'll talk and I'll look at him and look at her and look at him and look at her. I'm like, are you talking about this guy? She goes, Yeah, why? I go, You just described like the Messiah. That's not this guy. I know this guy. Uh hate to break it to you. And I said, And I'll tell him, why do you want to marry her? And he's like, Oh my goodness, she completes my stares at her, she goes, Sentences. I'm like, oh my goodness, this is beautiful. They just put incredible pressure for perfection. Our marriage is gonna be a rom-com. And it's not, it's gonna be better than a rom com, but it is not gonna be a rom com. It's gonna require work. Beautiful work, glorious work, but hard work. The best work you could ever engage in. Amen. All right, that was weak. Yeah. Note to self. So conflict is normal, and what we see here in Song of Solomon, not only is it normal, it's it's useful. It's gonna be helpful. God's gonna use marriage to refine you, to mold you into the image of his son. It's gonna be an instrument of sanctification. That's why Paul, when he's talking about leadership, puts so much emphasis on the home. He puts more emphasis on the home than the minister's ability to study the word, evangelize, preach the word. There's more going on in the home than there is even in the word with regards to leadership. I didn't realize how immature I was until I got married. Seriously, when I got married, I felt like, wow, I'm married to the Holy Spirit now. Uh it's pretty powerful. Didn't realize how immature I was. Even just the other day. Anna goes, you know, you've gotten better, but you're still immature. So I said, get out of my fort. And uh plus, she didn't even know the password. This guy refuses to retaliate. You notice that? He refuses to retaliate. He puts myrrh on the door handle. I don't know if you've bought myrrh uh lately. I didn't find it on Amazon. Uh, it's expensive, it's costly, it's difficult to find, and in this culture it was imported, always used sparingly, especially in as perfume. So don't miss this picture. He takes something that's very valuable. Think of like uh a perfumed anointing oil, and he places it on the very spot where he was hurt. That guy's a spiritual stud. He doesn't retaliate, he doesn't huff and puff, he doesn't give her some immature silent treatment, which doesn't help anyone. He he blesses the place of rejection, the place of disappointment. Instead of retaliating, he blesses. Instead of lashing out, he responds with grace. That should be you, that should be us. We should refuse to retaliate. Refuse to retaliate. This is what Jesus said as well. Matthew 5, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. A beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God. Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. If your enemy's hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him something to drink. People might say, Man, you're so nice to your enemies. I'm like, Yeah, because I'm heaping burning coals on your head at this very moment, according to the word of God. That's a joke. Never mind about that. Proverbs 21 tells us the same thing, the importance about being gentle and quiet in conflict. It's better to live in the corner of a housetop than a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 29 a man of wrath stirs up strife, but one who gives anger causes much transgression. One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor. Stop seeing every conflict as a power play. You need to begin to see it as when you respond well, when you refuse to retaliate, you should not see it as a power play. You should see it as walking in the power of the Holy Spirit. There should be something different about us if we truly know the Lord Jesus Christ and how we respond to conflict. When he does that, something shifts in her heart. Verse 6, I opened to my beloved. But my beloved had turned and gone. My soul failed me when he spoke. I sought him but found him not. I called him, but he gave no answer. So she moves towards him. She doesn't move away from him, she doesn't sit and sulk and shame. She refuses to let complacency sink in. She fights isolation, she moves towards him. Usually couples that have been struggling for a while, you could say, hey, when did this start? It usually goes years back. And there was some conflict, some issue. They didn't move towards each other, intimacy, they moved away from each other, isolation, and then what happens? They leave it alone. They move on, they let it sit. And that's what I did when I saw my my wood floor just bowing up a little bit. A termite, something I couldn't even see, was ruining a strong foundation we thought we had. I walked on it and I heard a crack. It was much worse than I thought. I wanted a quick fix, but the expert said, no, no, no. We're gonna fix this, but this is gonna take much longer than you think it's going to take. That's frustrating for someone with my personality. The same is true of marriage. It takes time. Verse 7, the watchmen they found me as they went about in the city. They beat me, they bruised me, they took away my veil, those watchmen of the walls. What's going on here? The commentators disagree, but this is actually a dream sequence. She's dreaming. Why? Is it likely that the wife of King Solomon is gonna run around in the streets looking for him by herself? No. Is it likely that she's gonna get roughed up in the streets by herself? Absolutely no. She's dreaming. And she's talking about the conviction of God, like these watchmen, and saying, look, she's realizing she doesn't feel good about what she did. She doesn't feel well about how she responded. So you have this intense. It's symbolism. She knows God, and in this moment she's being confronted, not by her husband, but by the Holy Spirit. And here's the key instead of reacting to the person, she responds to God. Instead of reacting to the person, she responds to God. When you do that, when you don't react to the person, you respond to God. A two-hour fight can actually turn into a 20-minute heartfelt conversation. But you have to refuse to retaliate. You have to bless one bruised. You have to respond to God instead of reacting to the person. So she's listening to the voice of God. When you listen to the voice of God, you uh you don't major on the minors. You don't get in a massive argument about uh the way uh a bed was made or something with the bathroom, or you don't do that. When you listen to the voice of God, you don't major on the minors. Just um just this past week, there was a a great example of majoring on the minors at a Taco Bell. Uh there was a worker that um saw that someone asked for a cup for water, and he saw them put soda instead of water. I'm sure no one here has ever done this. I could see the conviction of the Holy Spirit falling upon 80% of this crowd right here, especially you in the back and Chipotle. I've seen you do that. So the worker tells them, hey, uh, don't do that. An argument ensued. The worker pulled out a gun and started firing. I don't think anybody was hurt. Um what could have simply been a response of uh, hey, let's not put soda in the water cup, please don't do that. It's against the rules, turned into this massive altercation, but provided me with a sermon illustration. I kind of get the guy, you know, the Taco Bell guy. Rules are rules. I mean, he's just trying to enforce the rules. But uh he's he's clearly majoring on the minors. People do that with marriage all the time. You take something that's small and you make it massive, you turn it into some nuclear catastrophe. Don't do that. Ask yourself, what are we really arguing about here? What's what's what's going on? And then do the hard thing. If you're at fault, be a man, apologize. Be a woman, apologize. If you can't remember the last time you gave a heartfelt apology, you have a pride problem. I'm just telling you. What do I know? I'm the I'm the substitute. I'm just telling you, if you can't remember the last time you gave a heartfelt apology, just uh receive this as the grace of God on your life, you have a pride problem. And if there's witnesses to the conflict, witnesses should be included in what's taking place. Anna and I once got in an argument. I forgot what the argument was about, and um ask her, she'll remember. And uh it was years ago, and I raised my voice, and I swore when uh we got married, I wasn't gonna raise my voice because when I grew up I heard a lot of voice raising. I said, I don't want to raise uh my voice, and so um I knew that when I did that, I took Jesus Christ off the throne of our marriage and put myself, my loud Cuban self. So I needed to demote that, and the way you do it is say, Hey, I'm sorry, do you forgive me? I shouldn't have done that. And she did immediately quickly put Christ back on the throne, and then she's like, But you know the kids heard it, so you should talk to the kids and kind of model for them what it looks like. We have three kids, uh same DNA, but very different personalities. I go to sorry with the oldest, my oldest son. I said, Hey Bernie, I got an argument with mom. He goes, Yep, yep, you did. I said, Um, I wanted you to know I shouldn't have raised my voice. He's like, Okay. And I said, uh I asked mom for forgiveness, she she forgave me. I said, Do you forgive me? He's like, but you didn't yell at me. You kind of yelled in arguing with her. He goes, Yeah, I know, but you were there, and I shouldn't treat mommy that way, and you shouldn't accept it when I treat mommy that way. I said, Do you forgive me? He goes, Yeah, I forgive you. So then I went to my middle son, Nick. I said, Hey, Nick, he's not even looking at me, but I'm sitting on his bed talking to him. He goes, Yeah. I said, Um, hey, I got in an argument with mom and I raised my voice. I just want to make sure you forgive me. And he looks at me and goes, What? I said, Yeah, um, I got in an argument, mom. I raised my voice, I just want to make sure you forgive me. He goes, When did you guys get in an argument? Completely oblivious to the entire thing. Today? Like five minutes ago, man. He goes, Yeah, sure, whatever. But why is a father asking a kid for forgiveness? I don't, that's weird, Dad. You don't have to do that. I go, no, no, I have to do that. Just do you forgive me? He goes, Why would I? I don't even know what you're talking about. It's not right. I don't want to give you forgiveness because I don't know. I said, Man, just nod. He nodded, and then I went to Sophia. She was uh just a baby in a little, like little mermaid, uh pajamas in her bed. I walk in and she's staring me down. And I say, Hey, baby. Um, Daddy raised his voice in the home. She goes, I know that that was not nice what you did to mommy. I said, I know. And I'm I'm heartbroken about it, and I prayed about it, and I asked God to please uh forgive me, and I think and he does. When you we ask God for forgiveness, he forgives. And then I asked mommy and she forgave me. I said, Do you forgive me? She just stared at me. I said, Do you forgive me? She goes, I don't know, daddy. I don't know. I'm like, you this you're just like your mom. She goes, see, daddy, this is what we're talking about. This thing right here. We'll talk in the morning. I go, no, baby, I'm not waiting for the morning. You got to make a decision now. And then eventually. She made me work for it, but but I got it. Don't retaliate. Point three, number three, choose your words to recapture your marriage. We'll go a little quicker here. Choose your words to recapture your marriage. I assure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, would you tell him I am sick with love? So she's looking for him. She's pursuing him. Now, these are her friends. What is your beloved more than any other beloved or most beautiful among women? What is your beloved more than any other beloved that you thus adjure us? She's essentially, they're essentially saying, uh, he doesn't deserve you. Why is this guy so much better than any other guy? Then there's that temptation to compare. Well, look at what they have. It looks perfect. And she has him, and that looks great, and he has her, and that looks great. That temptation to compare is awful. It'll rob you of your joy, contentment, satisfaction in Jesus Christ. Look at her response. She's choosing words to recapture her marriage commitment. My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among 10,000. You put him up against 10,000 men, he's unique. He's not like every other guy. His head is of finest gold. His locks are wavy. Maybe this is why Pastor Jimmy had me come. His locks are wavy, black as a raven, his eyes are like doves beside streams of water bathed in milk. His eyes are soft. They're gentle. This guy is strong, but he's gentle at the same time. When he looks at me, there's this nourishing effect. When I spend time with him, I'm not drained. I'm not tired. I recover when I'm with him. That's how she describes him. His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs, his lips are lilies dripping with liquid myrrh. She's fighting for intimacy with her words. She's using intentional speech that rebuilds affection. She says he's radiant, he's ruddy. She's not ignoring the conflict, but she's refusing to allow sin to distort him. She's not ignoring the problem. She's not suppressing it. She's not bearing it, but she says, I'm not going to allow sin to distort the man of God that God has given me. This is my beloved. He is my friend. So she's using words to solve problems, not just to spread problems. She describes him in this beautiful, powerful way. She says his uh his abs are chiseled out of ivory. You've never told me that. Chiseled ivory. His legs are strong. He doesn't skip a leg day. Verse 14. Rods of gold are his arms with jewels, his body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires, his legs are alabaster columns set on bases of gold. His appearance is like that of Lebanon. Choice of cedars. This is my beloved. He is my friend. And you continue in the poem and go, where is he? He's at the garden. He's not off on Facebook looking for someone from his past. Back where I come from in Miami, we would say he's digging up them old bones. He's not digging up any old bones. He's nurturing their marriage, their relationship. He's not looking anywhere else. The goal isn't to be right here, the goal is to be reconciled. And if reconciliation begins with words, you have to choose to speak the right kinds of words, which leads us to our final point. Tell the right story with your marriage. Tell the right story with your marriage. And I'll end by telling you a story that points to how we tell the right story with uh with our marriage. Dr. Robertson McQuilkin was a speaker at a missions conference in 2000, uh, the year that my wife and I moved to uh Dallas to attend seminary. And uh we had a missions conference, and so the very first semester we were there, we heard this guy speak. He was president of Columbia International University at the time. I remember he spoke about missions. I like the way he handled the word of God. I don't remember anything he said, but I do remember how he lived. His wife of over 50 years was struggling with Alzheimer's. At first, he thought the doctors were being presumptuous, but then it became evident she was waging a war with a losing battle. She was deteriorating. Streams of thought wouldn't work right. She'd pick up potted plants in the house and place them in a vase in the other room. It was difficult for her to find comfort apart from his presence. The doctors often had to tend to her feet because when he would go off to work, his work was a mile and a half away, she would run after his car without him knowing barefoot. And they had to call him and tell him and bring her back home and take care of her feet. So not only was the disease evident, but his love for her was evident. So at this conference, he didn't stay in a nice hotel, which the school I went to would have done. He brought an RV. And he would speak and then take off, and he would apologize. Hey, I would love to stay and talk more. He wouldn't tell us why he was leaving, but he would just leave. And so I asked, why does he run to the RV and he'd speak and then run back? He goes, His wife's in the RV, he wants to take care of her. She cannot speak in sentences. He told us only in phrases, but she could say one sentence and tells me it often, I love you. She's a delight to me. He said, I don't have to care for her, I get to care for her. She took care of me for over 40 years and did such a good job that if I did it for 40 years, I would still be in her debt. Had I promised, had I not promised in sickness and health resignation, because he's had to step down from being a president, he goes, That that was easy. It wasn't difficult to discern at all. I don't have to care for her, I get to care for her. What incredible love. He wrote about traveling with her on planes. It was very difficult because he had to actually go with her into the bathroom. He said, if she got into a bathroom and locked the door, we're never gonna get it open. And uh people would giggle at seeing him try to help her in in the bathroom in an airplane. He wrote about traveling and said there was an executa another woman sitting in front of us, facing us, and she was kind of an executive type, working diligently on her computer. And once we returned from an excursion, he called the bathroom visits excursions, and said something without looking up. And I said to her, Pardon me. And she said, Oh, I just said, I just asked myself, will I ever find a man to love me the way you love your wife? And he said, Yes. You can find a man like that, you can find a man like that because I found a man like that. The only reason I love my wife the way you see me loving her is because the man Jesus first loved me. The only resource I have to draw upon my love for my wife comes from Jesus Christ. Mirrored in my relationship here with my wife, you can see faithful love of God for me. And if he could do that through that circumstance, we could do that. Through any circumstance. Amen. Father, your son Jesus says in his word, will God us join together, let no one separate. So, what story are we telling in our marriage? If we're single, what kind of encouragement are we giving our friends that are struggling in their marriages? Conflict will arise. Doesn't have to be a bad thing, it could be a God thing. Would you help us to refuse to retaliate? Would you help us to bless when bruised? Would you help us to use our words to communicate commitment? Would you help us to respond to God? Friend, here's the truth: God's not finished with you. He could work through difficulty, through conflict, even when there's failure. He could bring about his glory and your good. There's no need for anyone to walk out of here defined by shame. Because Christ has carried that shame on the cross. And if you're redeemed, you walk in that redemption. Jesus is the clearest picture of this kind of love. He could have argued his way out with Pilate, but he had a higher goal in mind. He chose reconciliation. He too went to the garden and said, Not my will, but yours be done. And he followed that prayer with actual obedience, with sacrifice. That's the love. That's what love does. It responds to God, not just to people. It lays down itself for the sake of redemption and reconciliation. It doesn't look for isolation. It pursues intimacy. Friend, if you're here and God speaking to your heart right now, listen to none of us does all of these things perfectly. We have room to grow when it comes to conflict. We are all imperfect people in need of grace. This doesn't just apply to spouses, it applies to every single relationship. Maybe there's bitterness you've been carrying for a while. Maybe you need to ask for forgiveness. Not later, not eventually, but today. Amen. Friends, we're going to take the Lord's Supper now. The Lord's Supper is for those of you that have placed your trust in Jesus Christ alone for your salvation. If you're a member at Family Church, that means you've been biblically baptized. We welcome you to the table. Maybe you're not a member, but you're joining us maybe today for the first time. You're a member at another church and you would normally take the Lord's Supper there. We welcome you to the table as well. Take a moment to reflect on the words of this powerful song. If there's a sin to confess, friend, confess it. If there's a worry to surrender, surrender it. You do business with God, and then we'll take the Lord's Supper together as a family.