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Let's pray together, family church. God, we bow before you, acknowledging that you are holy. We come to you because we've gathered to meet with you. And now, God, we need to hear from you. God, would you speak to us as we open your word? Would you give us ears to hear and eyes to see, and courage to obey? And God, we pledge to receive everything you have for us from the Bible this morning, and we receive it by faith, and we receive it in Jesus' name. And all God's people say, Amen. You can be seated. Welcome again to Family Church. My name is Jimmy Scroggins. I'm one of the pastors here. I'm glad that you're here. Every Sunday at Family Church, even on Mother's Day, our priority is we have a Bible study, and we're going to have our Bible study right now. So we're going to get your Bibles out. Turn your Bibles on, on your devices, grab a Bible from the pew in front of you. Open up to the book of Song of Solomon, chapter 7, and we are finishing a five-week series on the Song of Solomon. You say, why would you do that on Mother's Day? This is Mother's Day. And I know. Happy Mother's Day. And what we do on Mother's Day is the same thing we do on Father's Day, Easter, Christmas, and every other day. We study the Bible. And that's what we're about to do together this morning. But I am glad for all of the moms in the room. Thank you for the gift that you've given all of us. And some of you, Mother's Day is a little difficult because maybe you don't have a great relationship with your mom, or maybe your mom's gone to heaven, or maybe she's not able to be here for whatever reason. And I'm sorry for all of that. But even if your mom wasn't everything she should have been or could have been to you, your mom got you here. You would not be here without your mom. And all the moms who love Jesus, and all the moms who are doing your very best to love your children, whether they're little baby children or whether they're grown children with children of their own. Thank you for the gift. It is a huge sacrifice, it is a huge investment. Let's give it up for our moms. It is such a beautiful and wonderful thing. And Monica and Kevin, it was awesome that you're here on Mother's Day, having Cooper be recognized, completing our new believers class. Thank you for making that investment in his life, setting that example for all of us. Awesome seeing Kennedy getting baptized up here. Kennedy, what a special milestone that is for all of us to get to share that with you. And just really, really terrific. And there's so many children here at Family Church, and there's so many ladies expecting at Family Church. May your tribe increase. Everyone, do your part. There are people in the room that are planning to get married. There are people who are looking forward to being married. Now we make a big deal out of families around here, and you should know that. It's on the website, it's on the sign out front, it's on the bullet, and we are family church. When I do a wedding, which I love to do, I always say in the course of that wedding, the family is God's ordained cornerstone for all of human society. The family, I say, is a man and a woman who love each other and are committed to each other, and with whatever children the Lord may bless them. And then I say, the family is the first school, it is the first government, it is the first church. Because the family is a big deal to God, and it's a big deal to us at family church, which means we make a big deal out of marriage because marriage is the context that God has designed for us to raise our families in. God designed marriage as the foundational relationship upon which everything else in society is built. So our big idea for our talk today is this God designed marriage to go the distance. God designed marriage to go the distance. We've been in this five-week study on the Song of Solomon. This is the last week, the fifth week. Song of Solomon is a collection of love poems. It is written by King Solomon. In many ways, Solomon was a highly successful person, but when it comes to his marriage and his family life, Solomon blew it big time, and it cost him a lot, and it cost the next generation too. So then why should we listen to a word he says about any of these things? Where is Solomon's credibility to write a book like Song of Solomon or like Proverbs? Well, many people think that these words in Song of Solomon were written before his life fell apart. Other people think that Solomon is teaching us lessons that he learned the hard way through his painful failures. In any case, we know that every word of the Bible, Old Testament and New Testament, including the Song of Solomon, is inspired by God and is God's word to us, his people. So we trust it and we learn from it. Now, in the opening poems of Song of Solomon, if you want to catch up, check out our YouTube channel. We were talking about young love. Two people who were strongly attracted to each other. They were looking forward to their upcoming wedding. And then we read about what happened on the honeymoon. And that was very exciting. And then this morning in this final bit of poetry and Song of Solomon, we have a much more seasoned perspective on the whole thing. This is a description of a marriage that is primed to go the distance. And isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you want? If you are married right now, don't you want to continue to build a marriage that can go the distance? And if you're thinking of getting married in the future or getting married again, don't you want a marriage that is going to go the distance? And if you have children, don't you want your children to grow up and have a marriage that can go the distance? And right here in the Bible, it gives us a lot of instruction on how to do it. So let's read our text, Song of Solomon chapter 7, starting in verse 1. This is what the word of God says. The man speaking to his wife. How beautiful are your feet in sandals, O noble daughter. Your rounded thighs are like jewels, the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat. Try these out, guys. Encircled with lilies. Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Hespon by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon. Try that one, which looks toward Damascus. Your head crowns you like caramel, and your flowing locks are like purple. A king is held captive in the tresses. How beautiful and pleasant you are, O loved one, with all your delights. And let's pause right there. He is describing how much he is attracted to his wife. And if you know you guys, some of you guys, you know it's Mother's Day. You haven't got a card yet. You might have to make your own at this point. I have a suggestion for you. You can get it straight from the Song of Solomon. You can say, Mom, I really think you're neat. Dad says your belly is like a heap of wheat. Just give that, put that out there. It's straight from God's word. You know it's gonna land perfectly. Solomon is letting his mind wander to how he felt about her way back then. Man, those days were really something. Some of you remember that. You remember how it was when you first met? You couldn't keep your mind off of each other. You couldn't keep your hands off of each other. I've got a friend who's 20 years older than me. He's been married for over 60 years. He said this. He said, We were Christians when we were dating, and so we tried to do things the right way. We didn't sleep together until our wedding night. We definitely still didn't know what we were doing, but we definitely wanted to do it. He said, and I quote, when we got to the hotel that night, we were like two badgers trying to open up a package of Oreos. This is this is young love. This is how it feels. Some of you have forgotten. Go back and remember. But this couple is committed to following God's design. Skip down to chapter 8, verse 4, because this is a verse that is, this line is repeated throughout this book, Song of Solomon. Chapter 8, verse 4. She says, I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. In other words, you're not supposed to stir things up before the appropriate time. And Solomon and his wife, they honored the guardrails that God set up for them. They honored what their parents had asked of them. It wasn't easy, but they did it. And now, years later, they're glad that they did. Look at verse 5, chapter 8, verse 5. It says, Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved? She says, Under the apple tree, I awakened you. There your mother was in labor with you. There she who bore you was in labor. And then she says, Set me as a seal upon your heart, and a seal upon your arm. For love is as strong as death. Jealousy is as fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised. Then others say, We have a little sister, and she has no breasts. What shall we do for our sister on the day that she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar. And then she says, I was a wall, and my breasts were like towers when I was in his eyes as one who finds peace. Solomon had a vineyard, and by all Harmon he let out the vineyard to keepers. Each one was to bring for its fruit a thousand pieces of silver. Then she says, My vineyard, my very own, is before me. You, O Solomon, may have the thousand and the keepers of the fruit two hundred. And then he says, O you who dwell in the gardens with companions listening for your voice, let me hear it. And then she says, Make haste, my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spices. And that's how the book ends. And this is the word of the Lord. And all God's people say, Amen. We should. What is happening in this text? You go back to chapter 8, you look at verses 5 through 7. He said, even after all the years of being together, he still finds her attractive. He describes her now as an older man who wants her now, just like he did even before they got married. He still loves her as he did back then, only now it's deeper and it's sweeter and it's more true. Look at verse 6. This is my favorite part. She says, set me as a seal on your heart. Set me as a seal on your arm. You hear that? Because when you get married, marriage is a relationship. Set me as a seal on your heart. We love each other. We want each other. We we we we are we're connected to each other at a heart level. But then she says, set me as a seal on your arm. It's relationship, but it's partnership, isn't it? It's relationship, but it's partnership. You are married, you have to accomplish some things in a marriage. I've heard people say, you know, uh, our our our marriage has just turned into a business partnership. We just pay the bills and we give the kids where they're going and we just do the stuff that we have to do, but we've lost our relationship. Likewise, you see people who do really good on the relationship part and a horrible on the partnership part. But a marriage built to go the distance, you you set yourself as a seal on your heart, but you set yourself as a seal on your arm. It is relationship and it is partnership. And he is committed to her, and she is committed to him. Verse 6, he says, love is stronger than death. Death's pretty strong. Death is relentless, death is unstoppable. That's how love is when it's done right. Verse 7 says, their love burns like a fire that couldn't even be quenched if there was a flood. That's how love is supposed to be, if it's gonna go the distance. Look at verse 8 and 9. They think back to what it was like before. Their family helped them maintain healthy boundaries and guardrails. Talk about a wall, talk about a door. Hey, dads, you have daughters? You are the wall. You're supposed to be the wall. Don't complain about being the wall. Don't step away from being the wall. Hey, moms, you're a partner. You're the wall, too. You're supposed to do everything you can to protect your children, especially your daughters. You say, Well, I don't know why you're talking about daughters, you male chauviness, pig. You can say what you want. I've got sons and I've got daughters. I care about all of them. They all knew to do the right thing. But I have a special level of protective feeling and responsibility to my daughters that's different. Take it or leave it, that's life. Girls, don't be upset with your dad when he's doing his best to be the wall. Does he do it perfectly? Probably not. But he loves you and he feels responsible for you in a way that you cannot understand. When your dad's at his best, you need to really listen to his wisdom. And when he's not at his best, maybe you could just cut him a little slack. He's trying. It ain't easy. All the dads are starting to give it up now. Dads are like, I like this church. Yeah. Hey man, it ain't easy being the wall speaking for a friend. And you're gonna need a wall after you've been married together for a while, too. Because you need to keep some other people out of your relationship. You need to keep some other influences and some other things out of your house if you want to have a marriage that's going to go the distance. Kristen and I've been married a long time. Kristen, I want you to help me. I didn't ask her to do this. We might have a fight right now. But Krista, can you just help me for just a second? So Kristen and I, y'all need you to stand up, honey. I'm sorry. Kristen and I, so we got married. Turn around and face the people. We got married, so we get married, we put our hands together like this. This is me and her. We're together. See you on our hearts. Seal on our arms. All of your life, people, things, influences try to get in between me and her. It could be kids, it could be work, it could be a lot of things. It could even be good things to where you end up kind of holding hands with something else, and you let something else get between you and her. But this is how it's gotta be. Set a seal on your heart, set a seal on your arm. Nothing gets between this hand and this hand. It's gotta be like a wall. That's what it's like. I'm sorry, honey, I'll never do that to you again. Look at verse 11 and 12 in your text. They worked their marriage just like a farmer would work his vineyard, and it was all worth it. Look at verse 13. Verse 13, after all these years, he still loves to hear her voice. And when he hears her voice, what is she saying? The same thing today that she used to tell him when they were young. Verse 14, come on, be like a gazelle, be like a young stag. And you can almost hear him singing back to her. Ain't as good as I once was. But I'm as good once as I ever was. I love this book, Song of Solomon. Let's, what can we learn? If you have your notes, you want to write some things down. It'd be good for you to write things down when we have a Bible study on your program. There's a fill-in-the-blanks and some other spaces. God cares a lot about lifelong romance, and God wants your marriage to go the distance. So, what can we learn? Number one, you've got to cultivate lifelong romance through intentional pursuit. You've got to cultivate lifelong romance through intentional pursuit. Romance has to be cultivated and it has to be pursued. It's like a vineyard, it's like a farm. You've got to work at it. You've got to get up in the morning and work at it, and you've got to go to bed at night working at it, and you've got to think about it all the time. Season in, season out, uh, spring, summer, fall, winter, you've got to work at it. Romance has to be cultivated and pursued. Romance and closeness are gonna slip away from you if you just let them run their course. Why is that? Because things happen. Kids happen, work happens, financial pressure happens, sickness happens, temptation happens, aging happens, and that's why you have to work at it. Some people have successfully used a two by two, by two idea to try to pursue romance with their spouse. It's a formula. So maybe you say, hey, we're gonna go on two dates every month. We're gonna spend at least two nights away, just me and her, every year, and then every two years, we're gonna take a little bit longer and more special trip. Two dates a month, two weekends a year, one every two years, take a big trip. You say, Well, that's ridiculous. You don't understand. We've got little kids, we can't afford it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay, look. Then you come up with your method. You can do three by three by three, four by four by four. The method doesn't matter. The point is, have a plan to pursue and cultivate romance. Just you and him, just you and her. If you don't, it'll get away from you. And remember, exclusivity is always the key to intimacy. Exclusivity is always the key to intimacy. Young people and daters of all ages, if you don't learn to guard your sexual purity now, you will deal with greater insecurity and temptation later. You hear what I'm saying? If you don't learn to protect your sexual purity now, you will deal with greater insecurity and greater temptation later. Parents have a role to play, your church family has a role to play, but you have a role to play if you're going to date. Guardrails won't help you if you insist on going off of the path. And remember, whoever you're dating, if they value the destination, healthy marriage, they will value the guardrails along the journey. If they value the destination, healthy marriage, they will value the guardrails along the journey. Number two, on your notes. You've got to forge lifelong romance by overcoming challenges. Forge lifelong romance by overcoming challenges. Hey, sometimes your marriage is on fire. You know what I mean? I mean, sometimes your marriage, it might not have always been on fire, but just all of a sudden something happens and like we're we're back, baby. That's the way that marriage works. You feel close to one another, communication is solid, intimacy comes easy at very, very good times. But occasionally, even the best marriages hit a rough patch. There are a lot of reasons for that. Life has a way of throwing obstacles and challenges at us. Temptation can be like that. Stuff from the past comes back. Medical issues can be very difficult. It can be very difficult. I had a friend and a mentor who was just huge in my life from the time I was eight years old. His name is Bob Tebo. Bob died a couple of weeks ago. We had a funeral on Thursday in Jacksonville. Bob and his wife Pam loved each other, and I've seen him do it from the time I was just a little boy. I've been close enough to their family. I've seen Bob and Pam fight. I've seen them make up. I've seen them walk through one of their kids getting really famous. And I've seen them manage all kinds of sadness and disappointment and hurt that tends to show up in every family. Nothing is perfect, and all of us are complex. Even for Tim Tebow's parents. But for the past decade, my friend Bob had Parkinson's disease. It's a bad disease. And Parkinson stole Bob's physical strength. Eventually, it took away his mobility, and in his last days it even took his voice. But I watched Bob and Pam love each other all the way out. They had a marriage that was built to go the distance. They didn't forge their Marriage by what happened on the honeymoon. That's how it started. But they forged a marriage by facing challenges day after day, month after month, year after year, walking through storms, walking through the wilderness, sticking together no matter what. And when Bob went to heaven, Pam was there at his bedside. So when you say those words to love and to cherish till death does us part, it means something. You don't build a great marriage with a great honeymoon. You build it by walking through the wilderness together. You build it by putting your marriage on the anvil in God's blacksmith shop. And God pounds it and he forges a great marriage that is built to go the distance. And if you do it the right way, your marriage will be forged to go the distance. And if you don't do it God's way, your marriage will be beaten into scrap metal. You've got to have a marriage to go the distance. You're gonna have to overcome challenges together. Number three on your notes. You've got to protect lifelong romance through wisdom and boundaries. Protect lifelong romance through wisdom and boundaries. Attraction doesn't fade because of time. Attraction fades because of a lack of intentionality and effort and focus. You've got to focus your attraction energies to the right person. Exclusivity is the key. You've got to keep the flame burning for each other, and you've got to extinguish any kind of attraction to anyone else. And that's why you've got to hang in there and you've got to just fight through it together. Don't turn to someone else. Don't look to someone else for comfort or a listening ear. Don't look for that spark with someone else to remind you of what you used to have with him or with her. Find it in your wife. Find it again in your husband. Don't use the D word. Remember your vows and keep them all the way out. This is God's design, and it's good for you. And this is God's design and it's for the glory of God. It's good for you, it's good for your children, it's good for your children's children. And this marriage is not just about your momentary happiness. This marriage that you are in, or when you get in one, this is about the example that you are setting for a lot of people. And if you're sitting here this morning and it's very difficult for you, I want you to know I'm sorry for that. I have compassion for you. I'm not trying to preach at you, I'm not trying to shame you. What I'm trying to do is encourage you that you have a church family that loves you, and you have God who has a design, and you can actually take this further than you think, and it can actually become better than you think, and it can actually be good again. But you got to commit to it. You got to go all in. If you don't go all in, if you're holding back some of yourself, if you're waiting for something else to happen spontaneously, it's just not how it works, guys. And when you read Song of Solomon, you see that. Last point, number four on your notes. Lifelong romance tells the right story. Lifelong romance tells the right story. Now look, when you read this text, you're gonna feel God wants you to be happy in your marriage. You're supposed to be happy. Now, some of you are like, good, then I gotta get out of my marriage because I'm gonna happy. God wants me to be happy. I've heard people give me this rush now. They come sit in my office. Starting point of the talk. God wants me to be happy. Point number two, not happy with my spouse. Point number three, I'm getting out and going off with somebody new. That is not how you do it if you're a Christian. If you're a Christian, you've got to find a better way, and we'll help you do it. We will. God wants you to be happy in your marriage, but God actually cares about your happiness, and He cares about more than your happiness. It is about your happiness, but it's not only about your happiness. And the reason for that is when you see a faithful husband and you see a faithful wife and you see a husband and wife who are going the distance together, it points to the faithfulness of God. Because we have a God who is going the distance with us and for us. And so every time you are a husband and wife going the distance together, forgiving each other, loving each other, fighting for it, you're painting a picture of a God who forgives you and loves you and fights for it and never gives up. But if you give up, if you step out, if you quit, you're painting the wrong picture. You're painting the wrong picture for yourself, for your spouse, for your kids, for the next generation. Now look, some of you listening to this talk are just carrying so much disappointment right now, you can barely sit here and endure it. And some of you have been through a divorce, and some of you are contemplating divorce right now, and some of you have been betrayed so deeply, and the the pain of it is almost unbearable. And some of you are sitting here and you're in a very difficult season. You can't think of yourself as somebody being defeated. Why don't you think of yourself more like, hey, right now we're just in the blacksmith shop. This is not beating us into scrap, this is forging us to go the distance together. And if you've kind of lost that inner will to stay committed, maybe God will use this morning to encourage you to get back in the ring, encourage you to get back into it, encourage you to double down, encourage you to go back in and make it work. I've been married for 31 years, so I am not up here pretending that marriage is easy. It's not always easy. But I am telling you that God's design is still good, and God's design works, and it's the proven way, and it's God's way, and if you're a Christian, it's the way you should pursue because God can take what is broken right now, and He can write a better story from here. You may not have had a perfect start, but you can still have a faithful finish, every one of you, and when you think you can't go any further, remember Jesus. Man, Jesus was crucified on the cross for our sins, and Jesus was buried and God raised him from the dead. And now Jesus offers every man and every woman, every boy and every girl. He offers every person from every race and every language and every place. If you'll turn from your sins and receive Jesus by faith for yourself, you can be forgiven of all of your sins. You can be restored to a relationship with God, and you can have a new start. You might not have had a perfect start, but you can still have a faithful finish, and it's not too late for you to do that. Not in your marriage and not in your life. And that's why every Sunday at family church we take the Lord's Supper, and we're going to take the Lord's Supper right now, because the Lord's Supper reminds us of the faithfulness of God. Even when we are unfaithful, God is faithful. Even when we feel like we can't go the distance, God is going the distance. If you ever forget about that, just remember the cross of Christ. Because Jesus went the distance for you with his broken body and his shed blood. And we remember that when we eat the bread and when we drink the cup. Now, the Lord's Supper is for Christians. If you're here today, you say, Well, I'm not a Christian, you shouldn't take the Lord's Supper. In a family church we believe in, we teach it's best for you to take the Lord's Supper after you've been baptized, the way Kennedy was this morning. After you become a part of a neighborhood church, that's when you should take the Lord's Supper. Now, if you're here this morning, this isn't your church, but you're a believer, you've been baptized by immersion, you're you would take the Lord's Supper at your church, take it with us this morning as part of the extended family of Jesus that goes all around the world. But right now, I'd like to invite you to bow your heads and just close your eyes. I'd like to invite you to confess your sins to the Lord. And it's possible that some of you in here are just in a tough spot with your relationship, with your marriage, with your ex. And I'd like to invite you, if you can, to remember that Jesus has gone the distance for you. And I'd like to invite you, maybe at the Lord's Supper today, you just make this your appeal to God. God, if you'll give me strength, I will recommit, I will make this work, I will go the distance. Would you do that? Would you do that this morning? So as Livia sings, I just invite you to commit yourself to the Lord. Remind yourself of how much God loves you and be thankful for the faithfulness of God. And in just a minute, we'll all eat and drink together.