L’amante Scartata

Hey guys! I'm excited to share my first ever poem with Italian worked through it. This was a time undertaking for me, so I hope you enjoy getting to hear me speak my family's language a bit!  Transcript for those who don't speak Italian:

I love you was the phrase that dripped down my lips, with a sweetness only my lover could savor.

And each time I said it, I meant it with a slightly different flavor.

Warm like mulled wine, dolce come zucchero 

So imagine my surprise when my cup was left empty, not a vino nel mi bucchero

I love you, was the phrase he would sometimes say back.

But the times he didn’t say it, my heart would start to crack 

Because I would look for the I love you’s, dentro i suoi occhi

But tucked within suoi occhi was a hundred little lies

And tangled goodbyes

In a destructive cycle, how quickly time flies. 

I wasn’t worth it to stay, so you always walked away 

Ma che cosa mi amore?

Cos’ e’ questo numero sei?

E la donna numero tre

Tre donna dopo

But somehow I was la mama di troppo

But I was always the problem, right?

My love was never enough 

So with my emotions you were always very rough.

You threw me to the side, an emotional discard some might say

You found a new supply so playtime was underway.

I was nothing to you, but only after you made you everything to me

You know how incredibly painful it is to watch someone value you as less than free

It was a giveaway, you were done, con donna numero due 

But only after you had climbed from my skin, sensual and crude

You treated me like nothing, actually I think nothing feels like more. 

I became an undefined word in the dictionary as I sobbed alone on that floor. 

I love you means something different, each time it was said 

But you could hear it and walk out that door and it felt like you wouldn’t give a shit, if I ended up dead

How many times have you left?

How many tears have I cried?

I guess with the new girl, spero che tu stai.

I remember that night where I laid on the phone in my bed 

The first time we broke up where I told you I was so scared of what lied ahead.

You told me of your mom’s vision, and that you wouldn’t cross me again

That you loved me and you were sorry, if i could just try to trust you again

I cried and cried that night, I was petrified I said 

You were mean for no reason, you promised you would be better instead.

You couldn’t lose me, la mia dolce piccolina

But I could no longer trust you, my body rushed con adrenalina

I let out my air and forgave you that day

And every day after with you I made the choice to stay

But you hurt me again, how many times can you break a person's heart

It’s like you dropped my clay figure and stomped on the shattered art. 

Then swept up the clay

To throw it away.

Then treated me like I was never art worth putting on display. 

So I called you one last time,

And you didn’t return my call

And that was when I realized it didn’t matter what I ever did to love you

You’re were going to treat me like I was nothing,

Nothing at all