The Happiest Lives Podcast

E137: Minister or Martyr? Learning the Difference

Jill M. Lillard Season 2026 Episode 137

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0:00 | 28:47

*Get your free guide, 3 Ways of Relating When Love Feels Uncertain at www.myhappyvault.com/uncertain

In part two of our series, Loving Without Losing Your Real Self, we look at a pattern many of us fall into without noticing: serving from a place of fear, pressure, or over-responsibility. On the outside, it looks like love… but inside, it feels heavy and resentful.

In this episode, we explore the difference between ministering (showing up as the grounded, Spirit-led woman God formed you to be) and martyring (losing yourself in the name of keeping the peace). We talk about how the false self drives both over-involvement and avoidance, how people-pleasing differs from true self-denial, and why some of us feel responsible for things God never asked us to carry.

You’ll also hear practical and compassionate insight for those in harder relationships—places where someone’s behavior is genuinely harmful—and why loving well does not mean tolerating damage to your heart or home.

If you’ve ever wondered where healthy sacrifice ends and self-erasure begins, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a way back to your real, Jesus-anchored self.

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Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com
Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com