The Happiest Lives Podcast
The Happiest Lives was designed for Christian women who want to stop being disappointed in their relationships and feel more loved and loving. Here you will learn to think better, feel better, and love better.
This podcast is hosted by Jill M. Lillard, MA LPC, a licensed counselor and Gottman Certified Couples Therapist. Jill has been helping people manage their minds, process their feelings, and have better relationships for over 25 years.
For application exercises and support in applying the concepts learned on the podcasts, get your FREE podcast guide www.myhappyvault.com/podcast
Learn more at www.thehappiestlives.com
Discover tools at www.myhappyvault.com.
Contact Jill at jill@thehappiestlives.com.
The Happiest Lives Podcast
155: What Church Hurt Is Forming in You- David and Absalom
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How do I stop letting church hurt define me?
You’ve probably spent a lot of time thinking about what happened. Who was wrong. What should have been done differently. And honestly, you’re probably right about most of it. But here’s the question that doesn’t get asked enough: what is the experience forming in you? Not just what happened — but who are you becoming while you’re processing it?
In this final episode of the church hurt series, Jill walks through the story of Absalom from 2 Samuel 13 — a man who witnessed a serious injustice, watched it go unaddressed, and carried it in silence for two years. What happened next is one of the most sobering pictures in Scripture of what unprocessed pain can do in a person’s life. Not because he was wrong about what happened. But because being right didn’t protect him.
This episode isn’t about minimizing what was done to you or rushing to forgiveness before you’re ready. It’s about keeping your eyes on Jesus in the middle of it — doing what’s yours to do, releasing what isn’t, and trusting God with the rest.
In This Episode
•Why being right about what happened doesn’t automatically protect you from what carrying it does to you over time
•The story of Absalom, Tamar, and David from 2 Samuel 13 — and what it shows us about unprocessed pain
•The difference between processing your hurt and just circulating it
•Why stuffing it down doesn’t work — and what to do instead
•How to identify what’s actually yours to do and how to surrender the rest to the Lord
•Practical steps for moving forward without losing Jesus in the process
Key Takeaways
•Seeing something clearly doesn’t make you free of it — freedom requires bringing it to the Lord
•Silence is not neutral. What you carry without addressing will eventually move in a direction you didn’t choose
•There’s a difference between processing pain and recycling it — and one leads somewhere, the other doesn’t
•You can do what’s yours to do and trust God with the outcome, even when the outcome isn’t what you wanted
•The goal isn’t to minimize what happened — it’s to make sure your heart doesn’t become the bigger problem
Series Note:
This is episode 4 of a 4-part series on church hurt. You can start here or go back to the beginning — each episode stands on its own.
Keywords:
church hurt healing, Christian women faith, how to forgive church hurt, processing spiritual pain, church trauma recovery, emotional health faith
If you want to take this work and apply it, visit myhappyvault.com. That’s where I share free resources and ways to stay connected.
Discover ways to work with me at www.thehappiestlives.com or www.myhappyvault.com
Questions? Email Jill directly at Jill@thehappiestlives.com