Unlocking the Mind and Raising Your MQ with Coach Nami

Listen in as Jenny and Nami discuss unlocking the mind, raising your MQ and how impactful this can be for all aspects of your life.

You can find Coach Nami on Instagram @CoachNami and through her website  Home | Coach Nami (coach-nami.com). Looking for more? Check out her content portal  ​Coach | Consultant | Speaker - Listen on Spotify - Linktree

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Transcript

Jenny:
Good morning, everybody. This is Steel Roses podcast, a podcast created for women by women. My name is Jenny and I have a special guest with me this morning. I have coach Nami on the line. Very excited to have her with us this morning. Nami, would you like to introduce yourself?

Coach Nami:
Yes, thank you, Jenny. Thank you for having me on. I'm so excited to be here and I love that you created a podcast for women by women. And I think it's very much needed today. My name is Nummy. I am a former corporate executive who became a life and success coach. mission-driven organization called the Mind Quotient, which I know we're going to get into more. I am also South Asian descent, and I have three kids, and I am divorced, and I am navigating society and life's challenges through my divorce, as well as being a single mom of three. And I live outside of Atlanta. I moved down from New York City, where I lived for 20 years. And it's been,

Jenny:
Wow.

Coach Nami:
yeah, it's been a lot of changes at once.

Jenny:
I was gonna say, you said so many things there that I'm like, oh my gosh, wait, hold on. I wanted to ask you, go ahead, keep going.

Coach Nami:
Yeah, no, I am. But my passion and my purpose is really inspiring people across the world to go within themselves and do that inner work that's required to show up as your best self and you know, really work through whatever limiting beliefs you have and whatever is holding you back so that you can get through the tough times quicker and faster. And that's also the mission of the mind quotient. And yeah, it's a really exciting stuff. And I'm so happy to talk about

Jenny:
It's so this is something that like I have, I like stumbled upon, my question is different and just for everyone who's listening, I've talked on other episodes about emotional intelligence and you know, an emotional IQ. It's different from that everybody. So now I stumbled upon those other topics when I was like 27. And I've kind of slowly like I dip my toe in the pond over the years and then I've gotten more and more into it. to the point where now my family members tease me and they're like, oh, Jenny's like hippie now. And I'm like, no, this is real stuff. It's actual quantifiable things that when you do work on your inner self, it does impact your life and the flow of your life. Before we dive into mind quotient, I have a question personally for you because I am in corporate, I work

Coach Nami:
Yes.

Jenny:
corporate. How did you... how did you know or how did you have that initial thought of like, or how did that kind of come about that shift from being in corporate over to what you're doing now? Because that is actually quite a big change.

Coach Nami:
It is, and that's a great question. You know, it's interesting because I very strongly believe that everyone is born with like a set of gifts or talents or abilities that are unique to them. And it was, it became very clear to me over time, because I actually started off in pharma as like a bench scientist in the lab. So that's very different from,

Jenny:
Oh

Coach Nami:
I'm

Jenny:
wow,

Coach Nami:
now I'm like,

Jenny:
yeah,

Coach Nami:
yes,

Jenny:
that's very

Coach Nami:
so

Jenny:
different.

Coach Nami:
different, so, so different. And then, you know, it actually took somebody, it was my mentor at the time who came to me and said, I think you should go agency side. And I know you work in agencies too. So for like agencies that support pharma. And she said, but don't go on the medical side, even though you're a scientist. She said, go on the account client services side, the people facing side

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
of the business because of your personality. And I... I thank her so much today. Her name was Sherry Tassador. I think she deserves the credit because she saw in me what started the journey. And so when I went into this world where I started interacting a lot with people, my favorite part of the job was the people side

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
of it. And then becoming a director and having management and direct reports and then eventually going up to executive management. The part that I actually love, loved of the job was the mentoring, was the coaching, was the training, was everything that had to do with, um, all the inner work and, uh, you know, just making really strong people and within the workforce. And it's really interesting because it's not just, it's not separated. People talk a lot about work-life balance, which is, I think personally, not even a word could be called life balance.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
because work is at least a third of your life. And so you're not actually coming into work and saying, okay, today I'm going to show up completely differently than I did at work, but at home like five minutes ago, especially in the remote world.

Jenny:
Right.

Coach Nami:
And so when they were working on themselves and the type of work that I do, and especially what I concentrate on right now, and I'll get into that, it is applicable to whatever part of life you want. It's applicable to work, it's applicable to home, it's applicable to... applicable to your relationships, your mindset, your financial mindset, whatever it may be,

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
because it's just like concepts and theories. So that's what I found. I found that the most impactful coaching and mentoring that I was doing, and I used to work coaching very loosely because then I became a coach, and that coaching is actually a support profession and has its own methodology. So the mentoring and support that I was giving at work, I decided to go deeper. And so I was still working a corporate job when I became a certified life and success coach. And I went really deep into it. And that's when I realized that there it's very easy to bring that type of craft and discipline within the workplace as well as outside the workplace. And so that's what I did. I transitioned over time. And so first I brought it into the work place and just made people feel better about how they were showing up at their jobs and being able to use that set of skills, whatever it may have been communication, how to produce more time in their life, how to navigate through challenges, how to give and receive feedback, all of that. They could use it at work, but they could also use it at home. And it seems like it's a really different transition, but it actually wasn't because I focused on the people

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
rather than just the business. Although interestingly, it does impact business quite a bit. when your people are showing up differently. And that's really where it lies. That's where the secret sauce is almost.

Jenny:
I like that you said secret sauce by the way, because I say that a lot. I say things

Coach Nami:
Oh,

Jenny:
like

Coach Nami:
that's

Jenny:
that a

Coach Nami:
so

Jenny:
lot.

Coach Nami:
interesting.

Jenny:
Yeah, I do.

Coach Nami:
Oh, that's great.

Jenny:
I don't know why, but I've said lost in the sauce a lot. I say secret sauce. Like I use that a lot. What I do wanna highlight here for everybody is that like, you said something pretty important here and pretty impactful, is that this type of work and honestly, like the mind quotient, and I know you're gonna get into it. It isn't just like, oh, this is for professional life. Like, no, technically it's not because, Communication is in every relationship we have. And if you're married, dating, if you're single or whatever, the relationship with your children, your parents, communication ties into all of that. And it's interesting because a lot of, I've said this before, but I think like generationally, I'll talk on behalf of my parents, up above me and in the older people in our family and like the senior people in our family, I don't think they focused on that when they were growing up. And now I'm like, really leaning into it with my kids. And I make it a point to be like, okay, let me teach them these tools now. So that way they don't know what I'm teaching them. They don't really understand it, but they see them kind of picking up these little things. And I think that like anyone who's listening, whether you are a stay at home mom, if you're working full time, if you have kids, don't have kids, whatever, this all applies to you because you could pull this through to every component of your life. And it truly will. make things easier. And it sounds weird to say it, so I'll let Nami go into the details on it, but it does really impact everything.

Coach Nami:
Yes, it absolutely does. And in every training or coaching situation, so for example, I was coaching somebody yesterday and she runs. a set of practices, medical practices. And, you know, she was, we were very focused on her work. And then at the very end, I said, listen, when you come out of this, when you meet this goal, you're going to see that this is, or even when you're working on this stuff, this is going to help you not only here within your workplace, but most likely outside of work. Because my guess is that you're showing up pretty similarly outside of work as you are at work. And she started nodding. She's like, oh yeah. You know, because it's just about the way that you look at it and vice versa. If you're working on a goal or if you're working on any type of development outside of work, likely it's going

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
to help you within the workplace, even when people decide that they want to get work on their health, for

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
example. That is going to impact your work. Yes, maybe you are focusing more on it outside of work, but it is going to give you more energy, more focus, make you feel good about yourself, and it is going to impact your work. So it's... It's funny that we have like almost like a like a line drawn between the two, but it's really just life

Jenny:
Yeah, yeah. And I love what you said earlier too about it's not really work-life balance, it's just balance, life balance. Because, and you're right, like I, and I say it quite a bit, like we have a whole episode where we talked about work-life balance. And, but the truth of it is, is like, especially for myself, I work from home, it's literally just, this is life. And

Coach Nami:
You heard?

Jenny:
I have to figure it out. Like right now my home life is totally unbalanced and nobody has clothes and I have to wash clothes. So like, there's like things that, you know, in the background. So tell me and tell the listeners, we mentioned the mind quotient a couple of times. So what exactly is that? Like how can you break it down for us?

Coach Nami:
Yes, absolutely. So I'm sure most of your listeners, and it sounds like you've talked about emotional intelligence, which actually is emotional intelligence. Believe it or not, society did make it EQ because that's how our brains. think when we are measuring anything or something to do with like a mass plot, something to do with the framework that applies to society and people as a whole. So everyone's it started with IQ, the intelligence quotient, and there was one missing and this is what happened. So it's actually in 2020 when this idea came to me and I was in my coaching school at the time and I was in the middle of a conference with hundreds of coaches. And it was before the vaccine. I think this is very important because I was looking at everyone and they were so positive and enthusiastic and motivated despite everything that was happening in the background. And we're talking about how we each could bring our coaching to the world because in a coach, in a conference where there's like hundreds of coaches, they're all focusing on different disciplines within the coaching industry. Some are professional business, some are all the way down to mindset and healing. So across the board. And we were all studying from the personal development and professional development gurus that are out there. And I'm sitting there and I'm saying, oh my gosh, everybody is thriving right now in this community. Everyone is thriving and outside, if you just literally look outside, I was living in New York City. at the time, if you look outside the window, people are barely surviving. And so what is the difference? And I said, Oh, it's because we're working on the thing. And I said, why are we not using the same language to bring the attention and importance to it? And I said, okay, so, you know, that's what we need to do. We just need to do that. And I started Googling, you know, it's the third thing. We're just not using the standardized language to bring attention to this discipline and this work. that every single coach and professional, anybody in the professional development, personal development training field is doing. And that's when I saw it didn't exist. And so that's when the mind quotient came to me. And it is basically the third one. And it's all about mastery of your mind and mental wellbeing, which is so important right now. It's the inside work and emotional intelligence. You mentioned that EQ or I E I is so, so important. And it's focused on emotions, which are amazing because emotions are signals and they tell you a lot. And it helps so much with relating to others. But the MQ is about how you show up solo. And so emotions are a part of it, but there's a lot more to it. A lot around self-awareness plus self-management. And it's actually not complicated. It's not rocket science. If you're fully self-aware and you are able to manage yourself, you will have a high MQ.

Jenny:
It's interesting and actually a little bit ironic. My husband and I were just talking about that this morning

Coach Nami:
Oh.

Jenny:
because he knows I meditate daily. This

Coach Nami:
Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
is a practice I've started over the past couple of months is daily meditations. And I've started teaching my kids it too, which is actually a

Coach Nami:
Yes,

Jenny:
little bit, it's

Coach Nami:
it's

Jenny:
so

Coach Nami:
amazing.

Jenny:
adorable because I have the twins and my son, six and seven, outside with me and everybody sits in a circle and I'll put on my little meditation thing and I'm like,

Coach Nami:
Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
all right, everybody, let's do this. They last about three minutes, but still, like

Coach Nami:
Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
they're getting the bare bones of it. But what we, the reason why I'm talking about that is because, um, you touched on something that I think you're going to elaborate on, but I'm going to highlight it as, as something that I had a challenge with when I had first started trying to master my own mind. This was

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
like 15 years ago or so. I want to say I had started this practice and I remember I would start off okay in the morning and then something would happen and I would start to spin out and I would get stressed about. work or this or that or I get frustrated with somebody and it would start to and I say spin out because in my mind it felt like almost like a spinning like tornado like picking up everything to the point where I would get so enraged over literally nothing I would be sitting at my desk but in my head I was so enraged about all these little tiny minutiae details that I would end the day on a horrible note and That was about when I discovered my initial venture into trying to better control my mind and being more self-aware was when I actually stumbled upon the secret, that book, The Secret. And that's

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
where I started with it, like, okay, Jenny, you have to get a hold of your thoughts. And I think that's where a lot of people will struggle is that they don't recognize what that does and how that affects their being. their health, like everything about them. So I know that was like an initial struggle that I had, and I don't know how, you know, if that affects like what you do too.

Coach Nami:
Oh, absolutely. First of all, I applaud you for teaching your kids meditation and

Jenny:
I

Coach Nami:
doing

Jenny:
f-

Coach Nami:
your daily meditation. Uh, no, it's really important. It's really important. And one of the arms of the mind quotient is MQ Academy, which is curriculum for children. And yes, absolutely. Meditation

Jenny:
No kidding.

Coach Nami:
is going to be a huge part of that because, and you know, like you said that it's only three minutes, but you're teaching them when they start their day or when they have a tough time, they're going to know to come back to that. Because oh wait, oh wait, that's what we used to do. It becomes like a habit. you know, whether they're retaining it or not right now, they're at least seeing the practice of it. And so, yes, it's very, very important. MQ method, which is basically the curriculum for adults has to be paired with the kids because you can't teach the kids and not teach the adults and you can't teach the adults and not teach the kids, it has to be

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
done together at the same time. And it's really important. So thank you for sharing that. So meditation is interesting. I have some thoughts on meditation. And it's based on the practice that I've seen from talking to people, from studying it. And there's not just one way to meditate. And I love to say this on podcasts and interviews and all that, because I think people get overwhelmed with the thought of sitting in silence. And so all of my clients that I coach, anybody I talk to, anybody in training, I always say that meditation is actually creating space between thoughts. So you were talking about mastering your mind. And so thoughts occur so many. In fact, we have 6.2 thoughts every minute. That's how many thoughts we transition through. That's the average. And so

Jenny:
Gosh.

Coach Nami:
can you imagine hundreds of thoughts in an hour? Hundreds. So what we need to learn to do is what we attach ourselves to. It's okay. You know, there's also like, I say, there's hundreds of clouds in the sky.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
You know, like you just let them go. We look at them, we admire them. Okay, that's fine. They're there. You know, sometimes they bring storms. Sometimes they bring, you know, sunlight. They allow the sunlight to come in and they exist and that's how thoughts are. You can't actually stop your mind from creating thoughts, but you can actually create a little bit of space in between thoughts and for many people that can be done by sitting in silence and listening to. some type of music, maybe it's a guided meditation, it's a month, or there's many different types of meditation even within that. However, it doesn't necessarily have to be sitting in silence. And most likely, if you go back to a time when you were young, you will remember that there was something that you really liked to do. And it was likely something that you would do that you really enjoyed, and you may not realize that created peace for you. And so some examples are some people really liked to color, draw, paint. run, play a music, sing. And these are also things that create space between thoughts because you're so focused on whatever you're creating, that you actually are not attaching yourself to your thoughts. So meditation actually can be going on a walk. You know, it's and every time I talk to someone, I learn somebody something more because There's so many different ways, you know, we're all so unique and you know, how we were born with our unique gifts and abilities. And we're also born with this like code of how to bring ourselves peace and create that space. And so MQ, I mentioned self-awareness plus self-management. If you are become very aware and you, you have that awareness, you just mentioned like, I would notice that I would be like starting to, you know, like spin or, you know, you're starting to like. the thoughts are taking over. So if you become aware of that and you know, in this moment, this works for me to reset myself back, then you will be able to have a high MQ. So it's actually the awareness plus the management. And that's the hope that eventually as people work on their mind quotient, they will start to become so aware of like, Oh my gosh, I'm starting to spin. You know, I'm starting to, the thoughts are taking over. Wait a second, I actually know how to create the space between my thoughts, because it's not the same for everyone. And I think that's where as a society, we've gotten a little off. And so people who don't meditate are like, I just can't do it. But no, you do have something that you can do. I actually had a podcast interview a couple months ago, and the interviewer said that she loves to organize.

Jenny:
Hmm

Coach Nami:
And she thought that was actually her gift to, she thought, does that mean I'm supposed to be a secretary? Cause that's what I used to love when I, love to do when I was a child. Cause we were talking about your unique gifts and abilities. Like I call them your superpowers and bringing those to the world. And she's like, but that wasn't the case. And I said, hold on a second. I said, did you do it often when you were a kid? And when did you do it? And she said that it was often when things were really stressful. And I said, that's not. your profession, like that's not your gift and ability to use for your profession. I said, that's actually how you create space between your thoughts. And she was

Jenny:
Interesting.

Coach Nami:
just like, oh my gosh,

Jenny:
That's

Coach Nami:
I never

Jenny:
really

Coach Nami:
realized

Jenny:
interesting.

Coach Nami:
it.

Jenny:
Wow. You know, well, so the other funny part of this too, because I just started meditating in the past few months, and I've been doing with the kids, I've been trying to get my husband to do it. And he's like, I can't do it. And he's exactly what you just said. He's like, I can't just sit. And what, but what he does do, because he's also self-aware, like we've, you know, we were blessed in the sense that we, when we came together, we like make each other better. Like we like, kind of inform

Coach Nami:
Amazing.

Jenny:
each other. Yeah, like it's truly a blessing because also because we're so opposite, like you wouldn't picture us together kind of thing. But we do we complement each other really well. And one of those things is like, we've actually taught each other a lot in the sense of like, okay, how to me trying to help him like how to control your thoughts, and then vice versa, like he's helped me with things too. And but one of the things he does, he goes to work out, as soon

Coach Nami:
I'm

Jenny:
as

Coach Nami:
going

Jenny:
he starts to feel like

Coach Nami:
to take

Jenny:
You know,

Coach Nami:
a few

Jenny:
and we

Coach Nami:
minutes

Jenny:
literally,

Coach Nami:
to get

Jenny:
Nami,

Coach Nami:
ready.

Jenny:
I'm not even kidding. We literally were just talking about this morning because he was like, I haven't been able to go to the gym. Like I, when we were, before we moved, we moved to South Jersey about two years ago. And before we moved, when we were up North, our schedule was a little bit different and we would drop the kids off at daycare. And then we, me and him were able to go to the gym every day together. And that's not the case down here because the school schedule is different. So I haven't been able to go and I've been having to go on my own, but I go really sporadically, but he uses it. as his like mental release. And so he goes every day for at least an hour and he and I were talking about that. And you know, it's interesting because I've always thought to myself, oh, he's missing out. You know, he's not getting to do that mental shift. He's not getting to meditate, but he technically is though because working out for him is that release. And as you were talking, I was thinking through like, when I was a kid, like, what did I do? and what was my like outlet. I used to write all the time when I was a kid. I loved creative writing when I was a kid. And I used to, and I mean, I think starting in grammar school all the way through high school, I used to enter creative writing contest. Like I loved it. I would get like a burst of an idea and then I would start scribbling in my notebook. And I did that forever. My parents still call me and tell me like, oh, I found this story that you wrote, you know, back in so-and-so or I found this poem that you wrote. And... And the tie in here is that I actually just started writing again recently. And every time I get to do it, I get so like excited and it feels so much more like in alignment with like where I'm supposed to be. And it is very soothing to lean on that activity.

Coach Nami:
That's interesting. That actually might be a way for you to reset. Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
Yeah, that, you know, it's, I actually had bought, I'm taking some online courses that are like, that are about like meditating, you know, becoming in alignment with like, you know, being better in alignment with like your purpose and the universe and everything. And again, like I said, my family makes fun of me cause they're like, what are you doing with yourself? And one of the, one of the methods that they actually brought back up recently was writing in the morning. and calling it morning pages or something to that effect. And I don't have time in the morning because I'm trying to do so many other things. I'm trying to fit it in someplace. But you're right. I think that might be a valuable opportunity to reset. Now, I've said this, I say this to my normal co-host, Melissa, like she's not here today with us. But I'm going to talk about her for a minute because she's incredibly busy. She has her little one at home full time. So she's full time mom at home. She also is teaching in a university. She has her PhD, so she teaches, she has that. And then she also works part-time too. So she's juggling quite a bit. And she's always trying to find a way that she can like, and plus we podcast together. So like, you know, she's also always like trying to find a way and I always tell her, I'm like, you know, you can kind of give yourself a pass because like, I know she should be doing something. But I remember when my guys were little, I very much was just like, keep your head down, just get through it. Like you'll be all right. Like just keep going because mine were, you know, I had twin girls and then I have a little boy. They're only a year apart. So when the twins were born, I had a one year old and it was like, I think mayhem for like three years, like just total like mayhem. And in that three year period, I did feel very much like I had lost touch with myself. and I had lost me basically to being a mom, which sounds weird, I think, saying it out loud, but I did feel very much like I had lost myself. So in that scenario, if I came to you in that scenario, and I was Jenny, you know, six years ago, like totally frazzled, not taking care of myself, you would have seen it on my face. Is there something that I could have done? You know, is there something in those moments for, especially for like the moms who listen here? when you're at home with your kids full time and you really don't have that moment for yourself, you mentioned coloring, you mentioned like all these other little activities you could do to kind of like reset yourself. Like what are your thoughts on that?

Coach Nami:
Oh gosh, I'm so happy you brought that up. And I completely can relate because I had three under five. I didn't have your situation.

Jenny:
Oof!

Coach Nami:
That's something else, but I did have three kids under five at the time and I used to do the bulk of the parenting too. And I remember also having my head down and powering through. So my tips here, I wish that somebody had shared them with me too. So I'm very

Jenny:
I

Coach Nami:
happy

Jenny:
know!

Coach Nami:
to share

Jenny:
That's

Coach Nami:
them.

Jenny:
what I'm like!

Coach Nami:
I definitely did not have this discipline when I had young children and I wish that I had. And so it's a couple of things. One is that you can't pour from an empty cup.

Jenny:
Mmm.

Coach Nami:
and I kept pouring from an empty cup and that cut the, whatever drink was in there started tasting terrible for everyone else because I was not feeling good. I mean, actually that's actually how I started on this. I hit my rock bottom.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
I was just constantly exhausted, upset, triggered by the littlest things and relationships failing, left and right, and that's actually how I started on this journey. And in fact, that's the reason I talk about it so much. And the reason I want to help others is because I don't want everyone to have to go through that. And yes, absolutely. The one thing I wish I had realized, even though I heard Michelle Obama talk about it, that she's the best mother and wife because she puts herself first.

Jenny:
Mmm.

Coach Nami:
And I really, really started to understand that in 2020. I wish I had understood it when she talked about it. And it's interesting because if you think about, and okay, so let's just put it in the context of MQ, when you are not taking the time to do whatever you need to do, even if it's five, 10 minutes, and it is whatever you need to do, I can't even say what it is. So for me, yes, like you, I do a daily meditation, and then I do a really short workout, really short, like 10 minutes immediately after, or I journal, or some combination of the three. And if I don't start off my day like that, I'm not starting from a full tank or from a full cup. Or as I like to put it, I basically like to start my day at least with a high MQ. So doing a few things that I know will be very helpful for me. For your husband, it's that workout

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
in the morning. It's different for everyone. So just putting it in the context of myself. And if I don't do that, I'm not able to show up for others. Within throughout the day, there's other things that I do to like renew my energy and these five ten minutes are so important because That it's it goes back to like oh my gosh, my energy is really low I need ten minutes like somebody needs to take the kids somebody needs to give me a break I need five to ten minutes to renew my energy and That's doing whatever you like to do.

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
It might even be petting playing with your pet You know, it might be, I don't, it might be a short walk. It might be a short nap. There are people who can take a nap for 10, 15 minutes, whatever it may be.

Jenny:
hahahaha

Coach Nami:
But whatever, whatever renews your energy. So that's one side of it. That's the physical side of it. Now you mentioned something else and you said, oh, like, wow, I'm like saying this out loud, but I think it is probably the most common thing that happens to mothers is that we lose our identity. because we're caretaking and we're the primary caregivers, especially when a kid is young, most likely, although there are definitely mixed race couples, mixed gender couples and all

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
that. And so it's really, typically it is a mother who primarily has to do some of the feeding and the caretaking

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
in the beginning part. And you do start to assume, lose some of what is yourself in order to serve. for your children.

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
And then what happens is when you lose your identity over time, you start to forget who you are. You

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
become a little bit what's called lost. And I hear this a lot. So I hear it quite a bit from clients. And so to bring yourself back to your center is like, well, who are you? So these are like the, I asked the question of like three to five words that describe who you are. I'm not talking about mother. daughter, sister. No, I'm talking about like, who are you actually? So one of the people that I am, so this is a really great example. I'm somebody who loves to like, serve, I call it like service. Somebody who is always trying to like, give and help people. And so some of the ways that I feel really aligned is when I am like, volunteering, or when like right now, you know, like doing something like this, or coaching or this and that, but that's of course more recent. So there was a huge period of life when I had young kids that I was never helping others.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
I mean, yes, and work in some situations, but not like real service. And so I was actually living out of alignment. What would it have taken to like maybe take half a day or a couple hours to go do something that makes me feel good? I never did it, but I did it before I had kids and I did it and I do it now because

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
I've been working on myself, but I kind of lost a part of myself. And it wouldn't have taken much to do it, but I just, you know, it wasn't a priority. And over time, like things like that, when we lose them, we do kind of become lost because we're not showing up as who we are. So I think I do, it's a really simple exercise actually. So to any listeners, you just jot down three to five words of like, who am I? And you, and you're like, how can I do something to be who I am? Because, you know, yes, you have children, you're a mom, which is so, so important. I'm a mom, you're a mom. You know, there's so many of your listeners are moms, and that's really important. But who are you outside

Jenny:
Right.

Coach Nami:
of being a mom?

Jenny:
So I have I'm very excited by this discussion because I have I have lots of thoughts here. So I was there. I was actually raised in a household that my mother was amazing. She was a stay at home mom. She basically just she used to tell me all the time. Everything is for you guys. I give everything to you. And that came through loud and clear. She did. But she really did. Like I mean like there was no self identity. she really just gave everything to her children,

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
everything to her family. And there were, I remember instances of immense frustration from her, which she would just kind of snap. It would be like a bottle of soda exploding. And then it would simmer back down, and then it would build up again over time. And it happened, you know, almost like quarterly or something. Like it was where you couldn't sense it. And, but she did, she gave everything to us. But then I remember thinking about this and it's- crazy because and I've talked in like a little my little mini bio episode about how like these little things from my childhood that I distinctly remember and I actually remember when I was growing up being like, but you have nothing for yourself. Like you're not doing anything for yourself. Like nothing is for you. And that was there was a lot of these little moments where it impacted my kind of flip to I need to make sure I do this differently because I was raised that way though. It's been incredibly hard for me to prioritize myself. And you mentioned like, you know, you can't, what is it? You said something about an empty cup. You can't like, you

Coach Nami:
You

Jenny:
can't

Coach Nami:
can't

Jenny:
pour

Coach Nami:
pour

Jenny:
from

Coach Nami:
from

Jenny:
an,

Coach Nami:
a...

Jenny:
yeah, you can't pour from an empty cup. And I've heard that a few times in the past couple of weeks. And I'm like, oh my God, like I was trying so hard for so long to give and give and give and give. And I'm like, wow, I was literally permeating this exact method of mothering that I didn't want my kids to see. And I think about that quite a bit because in my head, everything that I do, I'm like, my daughters are seeing this, my son is

Coach Nami:
Yes.

Jenny:
seeing this. And then they're going to think either I have to be like mommy, or I'm going to be the exact opposite of mommy. And I'm like, I want them to get like a good representation there. So there was two other things that I wanted to share. And I've actually in these meditations that I'm doing. So I'm taking a class with Kathy Heller, and the course is called Abundance Ever After. I'm so into it because she has all these meditations that we work through together. And there was two that really hit home for me. So there was one that was younger self versus older self. And she kind of talks you through and she guides you through the meditation. And in the meditation, she has you encounter your younger self. And your younger self is talking to you in this meditation. And that's where I kind of re-realized, oh, I wanted to help people. Like that was all I wanted to do when I was a little kid. I remember I used to think to myself, like I wanna do volunteer work, I wanna help people, I wanna, I want my voice to be heard so I can bring an impact to somebody. And I think I have all this in me to help people. And in my work, I for a long time felt like, oh, I'm having an impact here. But it's interesting, cause now I'm hitting my 40th birthday this year. I think I'm, I don't know if I'm the only woman who's super excited about turning 40, but I am like pumped about it. And like. And it almost feels like this pivotal transitional moment in my life that I'm like becoming really aware of me. And that's why maybe that's why I'm so excited about it because it feels like that. But in that meditation, I kind of, I just remembered like, oh, I remembered, I really wanted to make an impact for people. And that's actually part of what this podcast was meant to do is to help bring these ideas and to the masses and bring my voice to the masses say like, You're not alone in what you're going through. We're all struggling here. The mind quotient could be something that really could impact you. Look into it. Like, make this a priority. Prioritize yourself like I never did before. And then the other one, I wanted to touch on this, because you mentioned it. There's this meditation where you kind of go through it, and in the upfront part of the meditation, you say, like, I am, and you say your full name. And then you sit with that for a little bit and breathe with that, and what does that bring to you? And then, The second part goes, I am and just your first name. And the first time I did this meditation and I used my full name, it almost felt like, almost like weight basically, because my full name brings with me my family, my home, everything weighs with me. And then when I just went to I am Jenny, it felt like it lightened up and became brighter. Not to say that my family like weighs me down, but it was like the true just me. And then the third phase of it is just, I am. And it brings you into just your being. And it was so impactful that I texted my aunt and was like, you need to check out this, you know? Like it was just one of those things that just brought you through the steps to realize, like, you are more than just these physical things around you, there's so much more to you.

Coach Nami:
Oh, I love that. That's so good. It's so funny too, because I've been trying to joke about it. But now I'm seeing where it's coming from. I keep joking with people like, can I just have like, just be called Nummy? Like, do I have to give a last name? Like, you

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
know, like Madonna.

Jenny:
Right.

Coach Nami:
give another name.

Jenny:
Right?

Coach Nami:
And you know,

Jenny:
Like...

Coach Nami:
like, Coach Nummy, I only do that because actually, honestly, I just want to put Nummy. And I love that meditation. I would love to check out that meditation actually.

Jenny:
So it's incredible. And the other part of it too, when I started meditating and I like with the cohort that I'm in, I put a message out to everybody. I was like, am I the only one who cries during meditating? Because I'll have my headphones on and for anyone who can't see us right now, eventually videos will be posted, but for now you can't see, you're gonna hear the audio. I have these Bose sound canceling headphones on. And so I'll put these on and I'll sit with my computer or whatever in front of me. and then I'll close my eyes and be meditating and then I'll start crying because in the meditation, it almost feels like this rapid release of like everything that's just been stuck and it gets like

Coach Nami:
Thank

Jenny:
unstuck

Coach Nami:
you.

Jenny:
in for lack of a better word because you know, this is how I talk now, but it gets unstuck and it almost like flows totally out of you. So it just, and my kids always come over and give me hugs, by the way, not me when that happens. They're always like, mommy, are you okay? I'm like, I'm fine. It's just, it's okay, it's good. But yeah, like it's interesting how that all comes together. So for now, I talked a little bit about like, you know, if you're a stay at home mom, like, you know, what can you do for yourself? And I think that the advice would still be like similar almost for, even if you're not a stay at home, if you're a working mother and you're doing that juggle, you know, and you're doing that now, basically, like you're working,

Coach Nami:
Oh.

Jenny:
you have kids, like taking those that time. Now, what I started doing to just get some time for myself is like, I get up earlier than everyone else. and I try to make sure that I have like an hour to myself in the morning to just do something that's just me related as opposed to like me having to do something for everybody else.

Coach Nami:
Yeah, that's really important. I'm glad you brought this up because one of the things that I talk about with my clients and this is really important is that when you're prioritizing yourself, it can seem like quote unquote selfish. that you're being selfish. And this is, you know, as a society, we have this negative outlook on, especially women, when

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
they're doing something for themselves, especially if they have a family or especially if they have something else. So I was the opposite of you. I actually had a mother who did prioritize herself. And so I did end up going the opposite because I used to think that was

Jenny:
They're

Coach Nami:
selfish.

Jenny:
selfish.

Coach Nami:
I used to think it was selfish because she would... literally do what she wanted. And so she would work out every day, you know, whatever we were doing, we were doing. She would cook, she enjoys cooking. That's how she creates space between her thoughts. And so that was her focus. Like that's her priority. I could have needed something, but you know, it was more like, well, this is what I'm doing right now because this is what I want

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
to do. And you know, lots of other things. But what I If you prioritize yourself, yet you are still aligned to your values, it's okay. Because if one of your values is kindness, for example,

Jenny:
Hmm.

Coach Nami:
or you are not going to prioritize yourself and be unkind. So now if your child comes to you and they say, mommy, can you play a game with me? And it's time for your workout or time for you to do something for yourself or time for a bath even. Like let's just like save time for a shower, time for a bath. and your kid comes and you says, I would like to play a game. Let's play Monopoly. And it's time for you to just decompress in the back. You, because you're not unkind, you're not going to say no, because I'm just going to go take a bath. You would say, let me go for a bath and immediately afterwards I'll play for you. I'll shorten my bath to 15 minutes so that we can play for 20 minutes. And because that's that you're still prioritizing yourself and notice you doing it first. because again, you can't pour from an empty cup. So you're filling up your cup a little bit. You may have to shorten the time. You may have to do a little bit less. You may have to, it's a compromise, but

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
you're still a kind person. So you're not just gonna tell your kids, no, I'm not gonna do that for you. It could be a partner. It could be anyone. I'm just using this as an example because we're talking about the moms and it could be at work even. You have some really, you have a presentation that you have to work on. and somebody needs advice on a situation that they need, that they're working on and they need to navigate through. And so what do you do in this situation? You still have to work on your own work. So maybe shorten the time a little bit, say, hey, I'm just working on this for half an hour, but I promise I'll come to you exactly as soon as this is done. And we can chat for like 20 minutes. And that's how you decide, or 30 minutes or whatever. I'm gonna work on this for 40 minutes and I'll get you 20 minutes at the end of this next hour. Because... You have, if you're in alignment with your values, it's not selfish. It's actually managing yourself very well. And so I think that's the narrative that kind of needs to change because we, we always talk about it as if, um, prioritizing yourself is, uh, at the expense of others, but you can do both.

Jenny:
You know, it's interesting. I don't know if I've had trouble articulating exactly what you just talked about, but that's like my ultimate challenge basically here is that whenever I'm about to do something for myself, now the kids like understand in the mornings mommy needs to meditate. Like everyone's kind of gotten

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
that down at this point. But then there's other times too where I'm like, well, I have to do something else. Or I need to prioritize housework basically. You know, like there's certain things, even if it's not prioritizing myself. But then I'll, I will feel guilty and then I'll feel like, okay, well, let me just focus on them and then I guess I'll have to figure everything else out later. And you're right. Like there should be, even if it's outside, even outside of like, okay, doing something truly for yourself, like even if it's just like what I just said, like you're trying to juggle, like women juggle and not just women, but I know like in two parent households, you know, there's there's all different kinds of family units. So it's not just like, oh, it's just women juggling things. Like, and I, and I want to mention that too, because I know that there's like inner, you know, the different

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
gender roles in the house, like different genders coming together, like everything. There's always though, in most, I feel like there's almost always just like, there is a primary parent. There

Coach Nami:
There

Jenny:
is

Coach Nami:
is

Jenny:
always

Coach Nami:
a primary.

Jenny:
one, regardless

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
of what the makeup of the couple is, there is a primary

Coach Nami:
Exactly.

Jenny:
parent always bubbles up. And then that will be the person who's like struggling the most to say like, I don't know how to. do everything at once. And so, well, you can't do it all at once. But like what you just said, you know, do a segment then, okay, well, you know that you have to clean, you know you have to clean. Okay, well, what I had started doing is I'm like, all right, well, maybe I don't have to clean the entire house today for six hours. Like, why don't you just do the bathrooms today? And then you can do kitchens. And then, you know, and kind of like break it up a little bit or what you just said, if you're trying to do something for yourself and you feel guilt over it, because I know I do. then you're right, like cutting it down to saying, okay, well, I'm not gonna do an hour workout, but if I could just do 15 minutes walking, then I can come and spend time with you. And it still gives the example too, of like, you're still doing something for yourself. You're teaching your child patience to say like, you're gonna have to wait 15 minutes, but then we can do it and it'll be really fun together. And then you're also teaching your, like re-teaching yourself, because I know in my case, like, I struggle every day with that. Prioritizing myself is like a struggle and it's so crazy because it's like, I know this. I have the baseline knowledge that I know that I need to do it, but I still feel this like tremendous amount of guilt when I have to say like, I need, mommy needs like 10 minutes. And I've been trying really hard to vocalize that with my kids because I've gotten busier recently, making them aware like, okay, mommy does have to do this. Mommy is gonna be working at night. But I promise you will read together. I promise I'll do this. It doesn't always work out. And sometimes they fall asleep in the office next to me. But it is something I think that even if you are voicing that over, it's important. But prioritizing yourself, I think that might be one of the bigger challenges that I have. And I know that if Melissa was on with me, she'd be saying the same thing. Because we had a whole discussion yesterday about getting that time.

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
to just make it a point to say like, I'm gonna go and work out or I'm gonna go for a walk because, you know, most partners will have no problem with that. Every husband, wife, couple that I know, that I've talked to, everyone always tells me like, my husband has no problem being like, I have to go out to do X, Y and Z. But for some reason, the mothers have it in them that they're like, well, I can't do that. I have to be here. I have to be 100% always here and available. And it's- not the case and we do have to kind of unlearn that.

Coach Nami:
Yeah. why we need to standardize the language around it. Now, how different would it look if you and you were just telling your kids, hey, I need to go raise my MQ. I'll be back in 15 minutes.

Jenny:
Hmm.

Coach Nami:
they would understand because they know what that means. You know, we use it in our house. So when somebody is getting irritated or triggered or you know, something is going on, especially if it's a kid likely hungry, something

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
of something tired or you know, something has just triggered the person and they're just not in a good place. And in my house, like, and say it's my older son maybe picking a fight with my younger son.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
And I'll look at him and I'm like, you know, it's just that his MQ has gone low. He just needs to raise it back up.

Jenny:
The older picking on the younger, his MQ has gone low and that's why he's picking. Now, how do you navigate that? Like, do you tell him like, okay, what do you need to do to raise it? Like, how do you, or

Coach Nami:
Mm

Jenny:
what do

Coach Nami:
hmm.

Jenny:
you do?

Coach Nami:
Yeah,

Jenny:
Okay.

Coach Nami:
absolutely. So first I'll tell the middle child, wait, hold on, it's not your brother because MQ has gone low.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
And I'll take the older child and I'm like, what do you need to do to reset? What do you need? You want to go take a walk? Do you need to go take a shower? Do you want to eat something? Do you want to, you know, I usually give him a hug, maybe he needs a hug.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
You know, like, it's so interesting, like, but yeah, I focus on the how to get him. in a better space, rather than what he needs to manage himself, rather than the actual output. Yes, we'll talk about that eventually. Like, okay, you can't say something like that, or you can't do something like that. But the first focus is, you're not in a good place. What are you going to do? My kids meditate, so deep breaths, meditation, we do all of it. But again, and it differs from day to day, from time to time. It's

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
only him who knows. So this is actually how we operate in our house. you know, they know and you know, sometimes they get irritated because if your MQ is low, you're probably going to get pretty irritated. The fact that I'm even using the language.

Jenny:
Right? They're gonna be annoyed.

Coach Nami:
Yeah, because the ego just wants to feel bad and feel good about feeling bad. But yeah, no, we push through. We push through definitely. And so you won't feel bad if you were like, I have to do this. So I show up better for you. If

Jenny:
You

Coach Nami:
we

Jenny:
know.

Coach Nami:
were putting it in that context, you wouldn't feel guilty.

Jenny:
It's interesting because I've started to identify with the kids and help them identify more. So like, okay, why are you recognize the feeling you're frustrated and or I am feeling frustrated. Okay, why are you feeling frustrated? And then kind of like helping them through it in that sense, because I've noticed to like, okay, well, if my son gets, you know, off to a bad start in the morning, or any of the kids if they get off to a bad start in the morning and they get up late. and they didn't brush their teeth right away. And then we have to get like push them to brush their teeth. And it almost like snowballs from there. And I can see it, like I'll watch it happen. And so then I'll like interject and be like, okay, hold on a second. Exactly what you just said. I'm not great at it yet. I'm working on it, but exactly what you just said. Like I'm almost like, it's almost like training them to say like, okay, wait, hold on. I'm feeling this way, but it's probably stemming from this event this morning. Let me just take a minute here. You talked about something that I actually want you to elaborate on because I haven't talked about this yet. So this will be like almost a new terminology for the podcast. You said the ego likes to feel bad. I've never discussed the ego before because I couldn't quite articulate it. Can you elaborate on that a little bit more because I know about it, but I don't know the depths of it. So what do you mean by ego and why do you think why are you saying the ego likes to feel bad?

Coach Nami:
Yes, okay. Gosh, this could be a separate podcast

Jenny:
I know, it could be

Coach Nami:
before

Jenny:
a whole,

Coach Nami:
talking about

Jenny:
it

Coach Nami:
the

Jenny:
could be a

Coach Nami:
ego.

Jenny:
whole, I know, we touched on it, yeah, I know, it's like a whole other topic.

Coach Nami:
Yeah, okay, so the theory is that we have the ego, which is often associated with the mind, actually. And so, and to keep it in the context of the mind quotient. So the ego is often those thoughts that are being created that are I was I'm going to bring in what Wayne Dyer always said, so ego is, and it doesn't necessarily have to be religious, but let's just talk about, he used to say it means edging God out because

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
God is love in light. And so that's why I'm using it in the context of sometimes the thoughts are not great, like they're not nice. The ego is loud. The ego is, it's usually the louder thoughts or voices that you might hear. It's usually. And some actually some people's ego is pretty subtle, and it will almost come dressed as something very sweet and nice. Yet it's often keeping you in a place where you are either the victim or a persecutor

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
or a rescuer even. It's really interesting, but it likes to feel good.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
And so oftentimes when we have any type of like growth or we're trying to manage ourselves or we're trying to, actually, if you're listening to this podcast and you are feeling like disdainful or skeptic or you're feeling like, oh, this doesn't apply to me. This is, you know, yeah, fine. They could probably do that because they have a partner that's understanding or any of that, like that type of thoughts or reaction

Jenny:
That's there

Coach Nami:
is

Jenny:
you go.

Coach Nami:
actually coming

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
from ego. And so I think that it's a little, like I said, it's a little bit more in depth, but there's a theory that you have your true self. and then your ego is separate. And your ego creates a lot of thoughts that can hold you, keep you back from growth and hold you in place. Not necessarily bad, because sometimes the ego can also serve to keep you safe and create mechanisms that make you feel safe and keep you, you know, help you survive

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
actually. But...

Jenny:
Mine likes to, mine is controlling. Like so, like,

Jenny:
and I'll give you an example here because you could probably work off of this example. My ego starts to panic. And that panic, the way, because I had really severe anxiety when I was in my early 20s. And the way that I dealt with that was dive headfirst into the problem, control the problem, fix the problem. But that's kind of transitioned, it's kind of morphed into something else entirely. And while before it helped me control my anxiety, now

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
as soon as I start to feel anxious, my ego is like, we need to control the situation, go, and do this, and this. And in some instances, like you said, it has helped me thrive in my career. My need to control has really, in my career, helped me push forward, it's brought me to really great success, but at the same time, it's not in alignment with. with me, with Jenny. And this need to control every component has actually caused me more stress and more anxiety.

Coach Nami:
Yes.

Jenny:
And it is often the louder voice, and it's taking a lot of me to try to keep that ego like at bay and to be like, ego, it's okay. You did a great, we needed you when we needed you, but in this moment you can let go. And that's been a huge, huge shift for me.

Coach Nami:
Oh, that's wonderful. And thank you. That actually does help to talk about it a little bit clearer. Yes. Questions to ask yourself

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
is, does this make me feel good? And so if it's not making you feel good, it's like it's not from your true self, from Jenny, from what am I doing right now? And you said in your level of awareness that I'm trying to control a situation so that I don't have anxious thoughts. Because I'm having anxious thoughts, I'm trying to control a situation. So you have that level of awareness. And then the third thing is something you said, and it's really, really helpful, is to express gratitude towards that part of yourself. So... Thank you so much, ego, because I definitely needed you to get through some really tough situations where I couldn't manage anxious thoughts and controlling them was the best way forward. Because it did serve you.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Coach Nami:
So the question three is almost, actually question three would be, is this still serving me? Sometimes it might be. Now here's the thing. Yes, sometimes it actually might be. If it is, I'm serving you, but that's okay. If it's not, then gratitude towards it. And then saying, I'm Jenny, I am Jenny, I've got this. Don't

Jenny:
Mm

Coach Nami:
worry.

Jenny:
hmm. Yeah, exactly.

Coach Nami:
And

Jenny:
And

Coach Nami:
then moving on.

Jenny:
it exactly because and it's interesting because like it's it did. It served me for the time that I needed it to because it was like this swoop in of we've got you covered. My ego was like, I got you. We're strong. We can do this. And that brought me all the way through. And it really helped me to get to this other step where I was like, OK, we. I don't necessarily need to control everything. And it's been, like I said, I didn't really start looking into any of this. Like mind quotient is new. And I want that to be everyday language for people because this is really important. And, but it's, in the beginning, like me looking into emotional intelligence and then like the secret and meditating and really understanding abundance and alignment and how all that works and is interconnected. I've been looking into this for 15 years. Like this is not, you know, like, and it's taken me a long time to like really transition into that. And there's been moments where like I fell off entirely. Like I said, like when my kids were little, I was like, I just need to survive.

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
And that sounds nuts, but I'm like, I just need to survive this and I need to make sure they're okay. And I neglected myself very poorly for like three years because I was like, I just have to make it through this. Like I was working full time. moming in the evenings all night long and then working full time again and trying to just juggle all that. The ego is really what drove that bus

Coach Nami:
I'm

Jenny:
of

Coach Nami:
going

Jenny:
like,

Coach Nami:
to

Jenny:
we're

Coach Nami:
take a

Jenny:
gonna

Coach Nami:
few minutes

Jenny:
control what's right

Coach Nami:
to get

Jenny:
in front

Coach Nami:
this

Jenny:
of

Coach Nami:
done.

Jenny:
us,

Coach Nami:
So, I'm

Jenny:
we're gonna get through this.

Coach Nami:
going to

Jenny:
So it's

Coach Nami:
go

Jenny:
taken

Coach Nami:
ahead

Jenny:
a lot

Coach Nami:
and start

Jenny:
to undo

Coach Nami:
the presentation.

Jenny:
and almost like detangle

Coach Nami:
So, I'm

Jenny:
the ego from how

Coach Nami:
going

Jenny:
I react

Coach Nami:
to

Jenny:
to everything.

Coach Nami:
start with the presentation.

Jenny:
And it isn't overnight. And I want to say that just because like for anyone who's listening, that's like interested in this and wants to look more into it. It, you know, it's a slow, you know, slow and steady. You don't have to do a 45 minute meditation. Like as Nami said, like you don't have to. It doesn't mean that. And that was a big thing for me, too, when the kids were little, as I was like, I can't do this. I don't have time. I don't have time. I never had enough time for anything, which is I mean, it's kind of accurate, but like I never had enough time for anything. Well, I could have pulled three minutes,

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
you know, right before you get in the shower. You're by yourself. You could take a couple of minutes right before you hop in the shower and just sit there for a couple of minutes. And whether it's, you know, a few minutes of just deep breathing. In my instance, there was a few times I used to cry because I'd be so strained and stressed out that I would just let it out basically right before I got in the shower. Like that was the little moment that I had that I was like, I'm just in here by myself. I can like breathe for a second. and then move on with my day. So that I think is really critical to say too, because I know there's a lot of women out there who will listen to this or a lot of people who will listen to this and be like, I just don't have the time. It's like, well, you could find three minutes to get started.

Coach Nami:
I think that's a really important point you made, Jenny. And I thought of it earlier and I'm glad you're bringing it back up, is that all of this takes a lot of adjustment

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
and time to implement. And like, so even like prioritizing yourself and doing something for yourself, regardless and that feeling of guilt, over time. it goes away. Like I know even yesterday, my son was asking me to do something and I was like, I am like, I said, and I will actually use the words that like, right now, my priority is this, like, I actually have to clean up the kitchen, you know, and he was asking me to do something else, like, this is my priority. And I'm not doing that. I will chat with you for five minutes. And he may seem irritated. I've been doing this for years. He's a little bit irritated. It takes time, you know, for for a second, the guilt did come, you know,

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
like, gosh, you know, this time doesn't come back. But at the same time, I'm setting some, you know, modeling some ways of this is how you balance. And the other part of it is that definitely the ego. So it's really interesting, the ego often stops people from even sitting in silence. Because if you try to sit in silence, it's a little threatening.

Jenny:
Yeah.

Coach Nami:
you know, because we meant that it started this whole conversation started with like the ego likes to not feel good. And because it's dramatic.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
The ego is just very dramatic. Imagine like the most dramatic person in your life or the most dramatic person you've ever come across. You know, it's the drama. The drama of it is like, oh my gosh, if you do this, you might feel better. And then what am I going to do? How am

Jenny:
Right.

Coach Nami:
I going to serve you? And, and so I want to recommend a book for anybody who is really interested in learning more about the ego, which is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I think this is where I really, he talks a lot about living. So The Power of Now is about living in the present. He talks a lot about the ego and controlling your mind and controlling your thoughts and that. And I actually am saying that out loud, controlling your thoughts, because it's actually not possible.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Coach Nami:
So I put it. we started off with the context of like creating space between your thoughts, but he talks a lot about how the true self, the ego, and, you know, the, how important it is to basically not attach yourself to those thoughts. And so that's where a lot of that, um, I think that there, he's an expert and explaining it, Wayne Dyer is another one who's

Jenny:
I know

Coach Nami:
very

Jenny:
I

Coach Nami:
good

Jenny:
have

Coach Nami:
about

Jenny:
to

Coach Nami:
it.

Jenny:
look into Wayne Dyer. I haven't looked into Wayne Dyer yet, but

Coach Nami:
Wow,

Jenny:
I'm going to.

Coach Nami:
this

Jenny:
Yeah,

Coach Nami:
is

Jenny:
I

Coach Nami:
amazing.

Jenny:
haven't. I've heard

Coach Nami:
Yeah.

Jenny:
a lot and I haven't had the opportunity. I have to. I have. It's funny. I have like all these books on my Kindle and at night I'm like, okay, what can

Coach Nami:
the

Jenny:
I read today? Like, what am I going to do?

Coach Nami:
You know, I really I did. The power of now I actually did the audible because

Jenny:
Mm.

Coach Nami:
Eckhart Tolle himself reads the book.

Jenny:
Oh, interesting.

Coach Nami:
And yes, and I found it very impactful hearing him. It's almost like a podcast, you know,

Jenny:
Yeah,

Coach Nami:
because he's speaking.

Jenny:
I like that.

Coach Nami:
Yeah. So I really enjoy even Wayne Dyer does his own audible, which I think is I mean, he's passed, but he used to his are actually record them before he passed.

Jenny:
You know, I like that you brought up Audible too, because that was something that I actually started, Michelle Obama's bio, like one of her bio books that came out, like,

Coach Nami:
Um.

Jenny:
you know, when I, I'm a huge fan of Michelle Obama. I can't even,

Coach Nami:
Mmm.

Jenny:
she's so phenomenal. And, but the reason why I like Audible is because especially as a mother and, you know, we're constantly multitasking, not that I promote multitasking, you should be living in the moment, but sometimes it happens, but. When I'm like folding laundry or something mundane that I don't have to be like in tuned really like I like to listen to Stuff in the background or I'll put like one headphone in because I have to listen for the kids I'll put one headphone in and kind of just like have that there so I can hear something But driving with it too is like a big deal like I love to drive and listen and you know, that's a good moment It sounds like you know those little moments and the reason why I want to bring that up is because if you do If you're like me and you're like I have no time for any of this Well, when you're driving your kids to school or when you're driving home from school, if you have to hop right on to work, okay, well, a five minute drive, you can listen to something. That is a little bit of a moment where you can be like, okay, let me listen to something so that way I am getting something out of this or I am having a little moment where I have, I am able to like prioritize these thoughts. Nami, I think you said it earlier on, like we can literally, I can do like six more episodes just on this topic because it's so like. There's so much to it. I'm so glad that you're working on the Mind Quotient. It's so important. I've been talking about it for years, and I'm glad that you are actually putting it into perspective and really bringing it to people. If anyone listening is interested in finding you and seeking you out for coaching or for anything, where can we find you?

Coach Nami:
Yes, absolutely. So all my social media is at CoachNummi. And my website is coach-nummy.com. And yeah, you can see a lot more there. I'm also a speaker. I do a lot of motivational speaking. And so there's snippets of things over there.

Jenny:
That's wonderful. And I'll put it in for anyone interested. I'll put it in the description as well. And then you can find our Instagram at Coach Nami. Thank you so much for being on with me this morning. I love this topic. It's so important. So thank you for doing what you're doing. I'm

Coach Nami:
Thank

Jenny:
sure

Coach Nami:
you for having me.

Jenny:
I'm sure I'll see so much more of you as things progress. This is this is amazing. And thank you for everyone listening today. I've said this on other various episode topics. If this podcast happened to find you today and it was this particular episode that found you, it was meant to find you, you were meant to hear this. There's a reason for it. So check out at Coach Nami and dig into it a little bit further because it's important and it could change your life. Thank you all for listening and we'll see you next week.