Brooke K & Jenny Discuss the Important of Being Self Aware

Join Jenny this week with Brooke K as they discuss the importance of being self aware to achieve your professional goals and break free from your 9-5! Checkout Brooke's websites BrookeK.com and ThisIsUsRising.com. You can also connect with her here @brookekcoaching

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Transcript

Jenny:
Okay, so hi everybody. Welcome to another episode of Still Roses podcast. This podcast is created for women by women. Today I am incredibly excited to have another guest with me today. I have Brooke with

Brooke:
Thank

Jenny:
me.

Brooke:
you.

Jenny:
If you could see her, she's dancing. She's all excited. The funny part about this is this is a part two recording because we were so excited the first time that we chatted. that we just kept talking and then we had to come back again. So that will be a

Brooke:
I'm

Jenny:
very

Brooke:
tired.

Jenny:
cool behind the scenes audio that you're all gonna be able to preview as well. So Brooke, welcome to

Brooke:
Oh my God.

Jenny:
the podcast.

Brooke:
Jenny, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's like, I just like, it's like such a pump up to just even be on here and hear that like intro. So thank you.

Jenny:
No problem. So incredibly excited. So let me tell everybody how

Brooke:
Okay.

Jenny:
Brooke and I met. So we both took a course recently with Kathy Heller called

Brooke:
Okay.

Jenny:
Abundant Ever After. Totally life changing. I talk about it almost on every single episode because

Brooke:
I mean, there's so much, there's

Jenny:
there's

Brooke:
like continues

Jenny:
so much.

Brooke:
to be. Yeah.

Jenny:
There's so much. And at the tail end of it, like after it was done and right when the group was closing, the virtual group was closing. I had this light bulb moment of, oh my God, let me go in there and grab everybody and chat people before we lose access because I wanna make sure that I'm like seeing all my fellow podcasters and seeing who else is in there. And that's how Brooke and I got connected.

Brooke:
It's, I mean, Jenny, isn't it such a sad, like we talked about this already, but like things happen for a reason and when they should, I really do believe it. And

Jenny:
Oh

Brooke:
like,

Jenny:
yeah.

Brooke:
and, and like, and like you and I talked about this too, like, doesn't matter what you're going through. And so many of us went, but like when we talked, it's like, yes, yes. And it's just so. uh like whatever the word is that just like whatever you're going through others have been through and so anyway everyone in that program i feel like it was like surrounding yourself with like-minded people that are also trying

Jenny:
100%

Brooke:
to do the same thing so um

Jenny:
high like minded people is where it's at. And anytime we all came together, and I didn't have the fortune to always be on the live calls, but like anytime we all came together, I walked away with such an uplift in everything about me. And to the point where like my family members were commenting on it, when we were going through the course, I had family members actually say to me like, wow, you're glowing. And I'm like, I promise I'm not pregnant. I'm just truly in a good mood. Like

Brooke:
I

Jenny:
that's

Brooke:
feel

Jenny:
not,

Brooke:
like I missed

Jenny:
I'm totally

Brooke:
three,

Jenny:
over

Brooke:
I'm done, no, I'm not. Right now, I'm thinking.

Jenny:
done. So let me tell you about Brooke.

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
So the other part about Brooke that is truly amazing, this is the part where it was like almost like, oh, OK, let's

Brooke:
Oh my

Jenny:
keep chatting

Brooke:
goodness.

Jenny:
moment.

Brooke:
I talked to you

Jenny:
Brooke

Brooke:
for hours. Ha ha ha.

Jenny:
had told me she had, you know, she's a coach and she does coaching. And so I checked out her website. Brooke K.com and I was like, oh, like this is really amazing. You do coaching. I would love to have you as a guest on the podcast. And I said, the podcast is really focused on women and we really are trying to focus in on helping uplift other women and making sure that we're reaching women on a real level for things that they are looking for and that they need. And that was the moment where Brooke looked me into her other amazing project. And Brooke, I'm going to let you talk about that because that's, I'm like so excited about that.

Brooke:
Oh my God. That's why I say it's Sarah and if it isn't, thank you. So yeah, I like a little background. I left corporate my corporate job, traditional job about two years ago. And I started Brooke K that you mentioned, which is what my background is in, which is helping businesses scale, essentially. So it was helping small businesses scale in their operations or strategy in their finance. But as I'm doing that, I was going, going through my own personal journey to which was leaving my like my corporate job, which was my identity. And I. joke, but also it's really kind of not funny about like I've outsourced, I outsourced my identity, my job and

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
my kids. So like basically I was mom and a worker and that was it. And so through the, that process and through AEA, I was like, my passion, it like lights me up or angers me, but either emotion, it's really big, which tells me that is where I need to go was with other women who are feeling the same way. Like I talked to other women. They're like, I'm just not a lot like I've worked hard, I'm super ambitious, I love, you know, I wanna be successful, but like I am burned out. I am not in doing what I love. I don't even know what my hobby is or what I love. And so that put me on the path. So the website and the community that I started is called Us Rising. And so it's for women, and I like to say, who have outsourced their identity to work and to being a mom. And so it's helping them through coaching. We have a coaching program where I work with women who are. both staying in their corporate job, but just really need to redefine what they like,

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
whether they've hit burnout or some of them, you know, you hit to a certain, you're like striving for the promotion or the executive job or the senior level, whatever it is, and you get it. And you're like, this is not it. Like, this is not what I thought. It's more of the same. That's not where the happiness comes from. That's not where the fulfillment comes from. So it's a lot of tapping into yourself and working through that. But then some women decide like, I was on the wrong path. I wanna do my own thing. And so

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
it's kind of that. So there's coaching around that, but then separately we also run retreats. So we have one coming up in September, which is really focused on the self-care side. So I really believe that like women, and then stop me, but this is the last part, is like when you are aligned with what you love, like there's so many macro factors that keep us from really excelling and being our true selves and like, you know, like the... disparity in like the pay, the wage gap and invisible

Jenny:
Hmm

Brooke:
labor. But when women can spend the time and carve it out and like figure out what they truly want without, from a depleted standpoint, but like what makes you come alive? Like there is so much potential. And so for me, I think the first step, regardless of it's business or at home or whatever is like, and it's what AEA, the program we were in, like was like coming back to yourself. Like,

Jenny:
Yes.

Brooke:
what do you like? What do you like doing? You know,

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
and separate from everyone else. So. So that's it. And that's

Jenny:
and...

Brooke:
why when you said, I was like, oh my God, we're like the same, yes.

Jenny:
Well, what I'm going to say here is we

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
actually, in our, I guess, backstage audio that

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
will eventually get released too, I told the story to Brooke and I said to her, I was like, it's funny because through AEA, there's all these meditations we have access to and everything. One of them is, you're talking to your younger self. Listeners, I know this sounds hippie-dippie and trust me, this is not.

Brooke:
Yeah, same. I'm raising my hand too. Like I'm there. Yeah.

Jenny:
you know, really you're talking

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
to your younger self, but no, it's really more of a, you're kind of unlocking part of your brain that has basically been pushed to the back of the closet.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
That's, that is really what it is. And so we, you sit there and you're focusing your attention on yourself and talking to yourself and saying like, well, what, you know, what did I want to do? What, what was it that brought me joy? And when I was little, I really wanted to help people. and I had wanted to go into some sort of social work, altruistic path and really help people. And I remember I was little and I went to my mom and I was like, I really wanna do tutoring. She was like, well, you're only eight. What are you gonna tutor? And I was like, I can help kids with their homework. Maybe I can volunteer at a shelter. I wanted to do all

Brooke:
I mean,

Jenny:
these really,

Brooke:
it's just...

Jenny:
these things. And then... you know, that, you know, went away. And then there was creative Jenny when she was a little bit older.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
So I used to write all the time. And I would enter contests that brought me so much joy. Like I loved writing. I got to a certain point where life started impacting what I thought I needed to do. So it no longer became, what do I want to do? It became what do I need to do to make money and what do I need to do as a result of what I'm seeing here? And disclosing a little bit more, when I was 16, my parents separated, they separated and that tremendously impacted how I responded to things. And I remember at that time saying to myself, I need to get a good job. I need to make sure that I'm never in a position where somebody can

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
divorce me and leave me with nothing kind of thing. So that changed my whole and...

Brooke:
I mean.

Jenny:
Creativity went out the window and I was like, whatever I need to do to make money is where I'm gonna be at.

Brooke:
I mean, first of all, like little Jenny, just I wanna give her a hug

Jenny:
I'm going to go to

Brooke:
that

Jenny:
bed.

Brooke:
wants to help everyone. And like when you were 16, did you know it at the time? Like, were you consciously aware of like, I need to make a change in what I'm going after? Like, were you like awake enough to know that like the impact it had on you back then?

Jenny:
I didn't know it at that point.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
I still kept with, I want to help people, because when I eventually did go to college, my original major was psychology, and I wanted to go into psychology. And within the first year, I figured out pretty quickly that you don't make a ton of money in that right away, and I dropped it, and I kept it as a minor. I stopped looking into it entirely, and I focused on communications, As you can tell, I like to talk and communications is like, I love it. I love marketing. I love media. Like I love it. I think it's really cool, but that's where I ended up. Cause

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
I was like, I need to make money. Like I can't fool around here kind of thing. And I did, I lost all that creativity that was really lighting me up.

Brooke:
I mean, and I feel like there, I mean, so two things. One is the path that you go on, anyone goes on, even when it becomes unhappy, like you're unhappy with it, there is a part of it that is, it's drawing you to it for some reason. So like communications clearly is an aspect of something you like, but then we go full, whole, you know, whole hog and forget everything else that we like.

Jenny:
Right.

Brooke:
And then that's when we lose a part of ourselves. And I always say it's like awareness is the first thing. Like for me, And I think I've mentioned this before, but I, I know we were talking about this. And the last conversation is it took me a while to realize that like me leaving and going towards something that, or at least striving to figure out what that next thing is for me was not me waving the white flag and being like, Oh, I can't do it. And I give up. It was like, I could be, I believe I could be more impactful and more happy and have

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
more of all that stuff. And it's not, not like the, metrics of money, but I do believe that will come too. But

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
it's more like, it's going towards that. So there was part of that was switching it off, but part of it too is just this awareness. Like we talked about where I was like, Brooke, what's your hobby? And I'd laugh that off and I was like, you're so ridiculous if you think I have a hobby. Like I'm way too

Jenny:
busy.

Brooke:
busy. I'm too busy, right? But it took. an awareness of like, why do I keep saying that as opposed to just like owning it? Like I'm just owning it and that's my identity and I'm just gonna keep doing that and being like, but I'm actually unhappy with that and I'm not doing things that I like. So it like, it was an, I had to like pause enough and honestly the pandemic was part of it because we were all paused in our house, like what

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
am I gonna do with myself? But I think that's part of it too. So that's why I asked when you were 16, if you even know, cause I feel like there's this part, we get so, so busy that there's no. There's no pause to quiet down or to slow down or to even see

Jenny:
So,

Brooke:
like, we're just in reactive mode with the kids

Jenny:
yeah.

Brooke:
and jobs and work. And it becomes like a, like hustle culture becomes a good thing, right? Like it's an indication of how important

Jenny:
Oh,

Brooke:
you are.

Jenny:
that's like a badge of honor right now.

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
Like if you have a hustle, it's like, oh, you know, and it's like, well, no, we don't, like, yes, we're, you know, do your thing. Like put yourself out there.

Brooke:
Yes

Jenny:
If it lights you up, put yourself out there, but like not because you're hustling because like, oh, like, let me throw more on my plate.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
And I'm so overwhelmed that I'm like crying every day,

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
which like my stepdaughter, at my, when I was at my last, like my last place, she used to make fun of me and she, cause she knew she was like. What do I want to be like, Jenny crying every

Brooke:
I,

Jenny:
week? No.

Brooke:
right?

Jenny:
And I'm like, Oh my God, I do cry.

Brooke:
but also I shouldn't be doing that every

Jenny:
That's like,

Brooke:
day,

Jenny:
I

Brooke:
I

Jenny:
guess

Brooke:
guess.

Jenny:
I shouldn't be crying. Brooke, you mentioned, so you mentioned like two years ago, you left Corbett. And I want to I want to go circle back to that. So

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
how did you know, like, what was the

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
moment for you? Was it a pivotal or were you in the middle of a spreadsheet and you're like, screw it?

Brooke:
Uh,

Jenny:
I can't look at another.

Brooke:
you know, there were two, there were two points that I'll say, but like it was a slow, like it was a constant, um, not constant, but every two to three years I would switch my job. It was like something wasn't there. I was unhappy and I'd find a reason. I was like unhappy with my boss. So I wasn't, you know, moving up enough or whatever. I had to travel too much and I had kids. So there was like, so I was always like moving.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
Um, and I, the last company I was at two things that I thought was gonna be it. It was in an entertainment industry, it was like with a bunch of creatives and like people just loved working in this group and I'm like, this is it. Finally, I can like stretch because my boring like, sorry to anyone, but like finance and CPA background, I can do

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
some like what I thought would be fun. Like, and it was draining for me. And

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
so that was one thing where I was like, everyone I'm around is loving what they're doing and I'm not. And so that drops the idea that like, you just kind of surround yourself, just talk about AEA in a positive way, right? The program we're in and people are striving to do more and better and different things. That was like, before that, I was used to being around people that are just like, you know, all of us are like, yeah, you gotta work

Jenny:
It's your job.

Brooke:
like tonight.

Jenny:
You gotta do

Brooke:
I

Jenny:
it.

Brooke:
had to work

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
the weekend. Like, but it was just like the norm. And so when I was around people that were like, they were enjoying it and I wasn't, I was like, something's missing line. And then when I had a conversation with my boss and being like, I think, I need to find the next thing, like, thank, you know, great opportunity. And it wasn't, I like to say, I wasn't running away from something, but I knew there was something I wanted to go towards, which also

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
was pivotal. It wasn't like I hated everything about it, it's time to go. It was in like a good head space that I was like, I gotta go. And I remember my boss saying, well, you know, what would keep you here? Like, would eventually you want my job? And that was the other pivotal time. Cause I was like, I could never have your job.

Jenny:
Yeah, you're like, I can't see that.

Brooke:
No, she didn't have kids, which is fine. That's by choice and wonderful, but I have three children.

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
She worked literally around the clock because it was a global company. And I was like, and that's also where I was like, what am I working so hard? Like I am working so hard to get to her role that I don't actually want, you

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
know? So that's where I was like, something's gotta give. I'm not ready to give up working. Like that's not what I want, but I want, like there is more here that I know I can be fulfilled and I've gotta start like spending the time to figure out what that is.

Jenny:
You know, it's interesting, like the pivotal moments that really like have an

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
impact because I had, I was, I've said this, we had a whole episode on work-life balance and I talked about how horrid I used to be. I'm really sorry if you worked with me between 2000 and seven to 2000 and I apologize.

Brooke:
You were the

Jenny:
You're

Brooke:
don't column at that point.

Jenny:
just, I was not, like, if you really think of, think of like, the typical like young, hungry,

Brooke:
Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
like

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
high-heeled

Brooke:
Yep.

Jenny:
stiletto. Like that was me and I was gonna stomp on anybody.

Brooke:
100%

Jenny:
So

Brooke:
and

Jenny:
it's.

Brooke:
you didn't know you don't know better like I know

Jenny:
Oh my God, so embarrassing now. But you know, it's interesting because so we had this work-life balance episode

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
and I had said there was a couple of moments like in my career where I knew that I needed to scale back because

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
you don't have to work that way. So that's the other thing too, this isn't really just about like, oh, you know, you need to leave, everyone needs to leave corporate. You don't have to leave corporate. Corporate's

Brooke:
No,

Jenny:
cool.

Brooke:
no, no.

Jenny:
It's great. And it provides an income. We need that. But you don't have to be like that.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
You know, you don't have to work in that fashion. And that's what gets a little bit lost, because for such a long time, it was a badge of honor to just work yourself to death, basically. And I had a couple of years ago, there was two things that happened the same summer. One, I found out that a former colleague of mine, she was my boss at this one particular agency. She stayed there after I left. She was there for like 12 years and. She died. She's the same age as me. And I saw it at random on LinkedIn. I saw it and I was like, is this real? So

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
I got in touch with a former coworker and I called her up. I was like, what the heck happened?

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
You know, I'm gonna be 40. I'm not,

Brooke:
Yes,

Jenny:
you know, like what happened?

Brooke:
this isn't supposed to happen

Jenny:
This isn't

Brooke:
like

Jenny:
supposed

Brooke:
this, yeah.

Jenny:
to happen. She essentially worked herself to death. She never took care of herself. She didn't go to the doctor. She

Brooke:
No,

Jenny:
just...

Brooke:
no.

Jenny:
didn't matter if she was sick, nothing mattered. She showed up at the office and made sure she did whatever. She controlled the whole thing. Flash forward that, you know, she did that for years and what ended up happening is she ended up with, she had like a kidney infection, something to that effect, never got it chucked out. She ended up, by the time, the day that she passed, she was literally just walking out of her front door

Brooke:
Oh my god.

Jenny:
and she was with her fiance and she just dropped right on the front lawn.

Brooke:
That is so.

Jenny:
And it was because she became septic and she just never, she just

Brooke:
I mean,

Jenny:
never took care of herself.

Brooke:
you like to say that is like the worst case scenario of burnout

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
and lack of work-life balance, but like that's the path a lot of people and women are on because naturally I feel like we are caregivers first and of others, but not for ourselves. And like, for me, the difference honestly was having kids because for me, I was, it has to be about someone else for me to take care of myself. So two

Jenny:
I know.

Brooke:
things, right? And so... The kids took a lot from me, but I was also being really short with them and not like the mom that I wanted to be. So that was one thing that had me be like, what, what is that? You know, what is this? But then like the, I, I'm always in my head. I'm always in my head, like in a negative, like in a, you know, just over thinking things, but also like just my background, you know, strategy and like, I like solving problems, but like, that's why pausing is good. Not just because

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
it's like, you need to create boundaries, but. to be able to like feel in your butt, like, and that sounds woo again too. And that's why I was like, what are you talking about? But like, what, like what is happening in here? And do I want to do this? And what feels right? And like, am I like stressed because I didn't have enough like coffee this morning or is it because it's been perpetual for the last six months and I need to make

Jenny:
Like,

Brooke:
a

Jenny:
am

Brooke:
change?

Jenny:
I always waking up and pissed

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
off? And that's the other thing too, that a lot of people don't do. And when my kids were young, like I didn't do this, I had to

Brooke:
Oh,

Jenny:
just survive.

Brooke:
God, I'm

Jenny:
And

Brooke:
like, yes,

Jenny:
the

Brooke:
yeah.

Jenny:
first three years that my children, because I have twins and then I have

Brooke:
I bless

Jenny:
a

Brooke:
you.

Jenny:
little boy,

Brooke:
I do not know.

Jenny:
and they're only a year apart. So

Brooke:
Oh my god.

Jenny:
it's wild. So the first three years that they were growing up, I did nothing for myself. Like when I say like I had the twins and then I didn't see a doctor again for two and a half years. By the time I went back to the doctor, I was in horrible shape. I was incredibly overweight. I just might like just not good. I was just not in a good spot. And I was talking through the doctor about all everything that was going on. And I happened to tell her how I was only literally sleeping possibly two to three hours a day.

Brooke:
I mean.

Jenny:
And she was like. Oh, she was like, Oh, so they wake you up, you sleep from like 11 to three or like, what do you and I was like, no, I mean, like spread out. And she was like, what do you mean? And I was like, meaning I don't, I, I at that point, because there was three of them, I was, it was like they would go to bed and then like one would wake up and then be a domino. And then I would get like 10 minutes of sleep and then I would wake back

Brooke:
I do

Jenny:
up. And,

Brooke:
not know how you,

Jenny:
and

Brooke:
like...

Jenny:
so she literally said to me and like, and I, and I will in the early days, like my husband tried to help as much as he could, but he works in. in construction, he's an

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
electrician.

Brooke:
so

Jenny:
So

Brooke:
he's like.

Jenny:
I was like, it's unsafe for you to be tired. It's not safe. You actually need to

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
sleep. Well, so the doctor actually told me, and I didn't even realize this, so I'm going to say it in

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
case anybody else didn't realize it. Because I wasn't sleeping, I was literally taking years off of my life. That's what she told me. She was like, if you continue down this path, because actually the real reason I had gone to her was because I had gotten so overweight that I was becoming depressed. And I was like, I don't understand. I'm trying every single diet I can. What the hell? And she, when I got to the sleep thing, she was like, look, you're literally taking years off your life. And she was like, and the reason you're not losing weight is because you're so fatigued that your body is using whatever energy it has to just keep it together. She was like, so you have to make some kind of shift. And I remember I walked out of there and I was pretty pissed off because at that point in time, and I was like, What am I supposed to do? I have three babies.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
Like,

Brooke:
Yep.

Jenny:
it took some time

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
and now I'm in better shape. But in that moment, I was like, oh my God, there is nothing to help me.

Brooke:
No, I know. And here's, I've heard this a lot, and I do wanna say for anyone that's listening, that's in that. Like that is such a hard time, you know?

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
Like you are in it with the infants and the kids that are just so neat. Like now my youngest is five, so I feel like I'm a little bit on the other side of it where

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
they're needing in a different way, certainly not through the night and everything. And what I like to say though is, so what I lost then was even an awareness of what I needed. You know, like it does not mean when you are in that, like you are gonna get the sleep or you're gonna get the exercise, you know, like in that stage, but like, I didn't even know what I wasn't getting that I should, you know, because like, if you have an awareness as a human being, much less as like just a individual that is unique to everyone else, but like you need six, I mean, let's cut it down, at least like five hours of sleep, you know, when you're in those

Jenny:
Need

Brooke:
like.

Jenny:
something, yeah.

Brooke:
There is a minimum amount of sleep to even like be able to function as a mom to these children that are so needed. And then there is like, there's nutrition that you need, but like there's other things like that, just mentally, you know, you talk about like a physical workout, there's mental workouts and stuff too. So

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
for me, it was even a lack of knowing what I needed, even if I wasn't getting it, but you can then it's like tracking it, right? It's like, God, it has been four weeks since I've had a two minute shower by myself, whatever, you know, like what, since I've been able to go to the bathroom without like, whatever your needs are. And I feel like then that puts it at the forefront because I, a lack of awareness of what even you like or need or want, then you lose track that it has been six months or a

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
year or now it's going on two years that I have and because

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
then it becomes the norm, it becomes the norm and the benchmark, which are, which it shouldn't be, you know, like,

Jenny:
bright.

Brooke:
and so I think that's the thing for me too, is like, you're not always going to get it, but like, I think the first thing I always, I've historically have given up was even an acknowledgement of like what I needed as a baseline, you know? And so it just became like, okay, what does everyone else need?

Jenny:
I think the biggest takeaway that I'm hearing between both of us chatting

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
is really self-awareness and being just aware, taking stock. And I

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
used to do that a lot. I still do it now actually, but not quite as often. I used to do it a lot when I first started looking into manifesting and all that stuff.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
The biggest thing, and it's applicable to anything really, is taking a minute. and being like, is this something that's making me happy?

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
Or is this something that is just draining? Like, does your job truly light you up? Do you get excited? Or does the weekend come and then like by Sunday, you're starting to

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
get tense and you're starting to feel sick? Physical symptoms are a really great sign, in

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
my opinion. Like if you're, you know, Sunday evening, you're feeling nauseous and migraines and you're sick and your back hurts and all this stuff. And it's like, is that every Sunday that happens to you? Because that might be something.

Brooke:
Yes. And you said it earlier too when we were talking, but I think it's really important. Is like, this isn't to like say anything negative about a traditional job or a corporate job, because I work with a lot of women that love that. And what we work through is they had just gotten out of alignment of like within that role, what

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
is best for them. And so like you said, sometimes it's creating boundaries, but sometimes like that's why I think, and it becomes so much, the harder it gets to slow down and take a pause. I think that means the more you need it because like some of the women I work with like there's like values exercises right or there's to your point assessing the previous week and just being like what was the best and what was the worst and like over time realizing like I really like this aspect I don't like this aspect but we get kind of at least I did in a lot of women I talked to the reverse where it's like very reactive we're like go and taking in what others are requesting the you know because it's like I can do it. I can kill it. I'm gonna keep doing it. But then you're just like on intake mode as opposed to like, what do I really like? It's like what others need for you to do and the projects and the like all the management of employees, you know?

Jenny:
Do you find that a lot with the women that you coach, that a big part of the problem, because I've done quite a bit of research on this, because we've

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
talked about this in other episodes, where especially women in professional settings, we have this tendency to just, well, one, we sell ourselves short

Brooke:
Yep.

Jenny:
consistently. We don't bring ourselves to the table, and we'll wait and anticipate that, oh, well, they're gonna see how great my work is. No, they won't. And then they're gonna... Give me a promotion. No, they won't. So like I see I've read that. And then also the other thing is like the unable to say no to stuff.

Brooke:
Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, I think so there's macro and there's micro character. You know, we can talk about like your traditional feminine characteristics that most women have and then the male characteristics and clearly honestly like Fortune 500 companies or wherever you work, it's like still male dominated. So it is about speaking up and, you know, like, you know, the characteristics that are more aggressive and kind of like, and, and I feel like a lot of women, that's not how historically and traditionally in the macroeconomic sense were raised. So it's learning that as you go and losing some of what you are. Like you said, there's this collaboration that is inherent in a lot of women more so, and that's not in most companies. They like to say that as you get higher and higher, that is not how... So yes, 100%, I think that's the case. And I think many, many times, like you said, waiting for someone else to raise your hand too.

Jenny:
Hehehehehehehehe

Brooke:
Yes, many women I talk to and I think part of it too is it's knowing what you want, being able to identify like instead of what others like your identity isn't tied up in all this, but it's like just it's really being comfortable, which is why I keep going back to like the self care and kind of the softer side because it's like once you know yourself, you feel more comfortable around others kind of putting it out there, you know, like

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
you're not trying because you can go from one company to another, another company is going to ask for something completely different, you know, and so that's what I spend a lot of time with the women Who are you first separate from all of that? And it sounds woo woo, it sounds like kind of like, what is that gonna do for my career? But that's where you get like, that like, this what I bring to the table, regardless of where I am and what the culture is, like I know that this is important and this is what I wanna stand for, you know?

Jenny:
You know, it's interesting because we keep talking about this woo woo, right? And

Brooke:
I know.

Jenny:
I want to say it is the reason why this is interesting.

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
And I want to point it out because I had the same experience when we did a

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
I remember going into it being like, all right, she has workbooks and there's videos and

Brooke:
I know.

Jenny:
I do

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
you never did any homework, by the way. I never did any homework.

Brooke:
Yes,

Jenny:
I just

Brooke:
yes.

Jenny:
didn't wasn't part of my plan.

Brooke:
See? Yeah.

Jenny:
But the thing that was the most impactful to me was taking 20 minutes in the morning to meditate.

Brooke:
I know, I know,

Jenny:
is what has brought the most

Brooke:
I know.

Jenny:
change and it's wild because in all of my life, all I've tried to do is control everything around me, get up early. My husband makes fun of me all the time because I'm like nuts and I'm like trying to do all the things. I'm like, I got to get on the computer. I got to send this email. This person

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
called me. Well, no, like why don't you just like, like I literally challenge you. If you're listening to this episode, I'm going to put

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
a challenge out there. Take it doesn't have to be 20 minutes because I

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
know that sometimes you don't have that today. I didn't have that. I only did it for five minutes. You can literally go onto YouTube, find a meditation for five minutes and just take a minute. And there's other ways that you can also do it. So it doesn't necessarily mean you have to sit in silence. I was talking to somebody else recently where they had said to me, they're like, it doesn't mean like, you know, meditating isn't the same for everybody. And if it's going to the gym, maybe that's where you go. And that's your focus. And that's where you get clarity. That's for my husband. I was trying to get him to do traditional meditations with me. And he was like, I can't frigging do that. You're nuts.

Brooke:
I'm not going to sit

Jenny:
But

Brooke:
here.

Jenny:
he can go to the gym for two hours. That's great. That's really what you need to be doing. So you have to find, and we've said this a whole bunch of times, find what fits your path.

Brooke:
Yeah, it's like a workout. I mean, like we talked about this, like it's like a traditional, like you're like at the gym, like people need different workouts, depending on what your goal is. So like the same is for clearing your head. And I agree with you too. Like I was like, what, you know, why am I gonna spend time doing this? But I think because it is like, especially a lot of the women I work with, they're like really ambitious and successful and stuff. And that becomes like, that's, it's hard to like the slowdown because it's like, I've proven how much I can do.

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
And so it's not a... that you need to because you can't, it's because you will be better. And it's like, you gotta prove that to yourself. Like when you can clear enough, like the creativity and the insight and the ideas that will come. And so that for me was what finally flipped it. Cause I was like, I don't need this, this is just wasting my time. But I was like, I can be like, that's when I got like an even better idea or I'm gonna solve this problem at work even better.

Jenny:
Yes,

Brooke:
And so

Jenny:
yes.

Brooke:
you're right. Like my husband, it's golf. He like that's his thing, but he's four hours of like, which how does anyone have that time? I don't know, but like he's outside and he's walking. You know, it can be any, so exactly, which it can be dancing. That's what big thing for people is like, put on your

Jenny:
That's

Brooke:
best

Jenny:
true.

Brooke:
dance mix for like five minutes and just like get

Jenny:
just let

Brooke:
it

Jenny:
it

Brooke:
out,

Jenny:
get it

Brooke:
right?

Jenny:
all out there. I love

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
doing that. I freaking love doing that.

Brooke:
Me too, right? And it like totally changes your mood. So it's just knowing what it is. It's recognizing when you're in that, like the whatever it is, like the swirl and busyness and like you can't stop that like, okay, that's when you need it. And then what is it for you that like just allows you to take that deep breath, you know?

Jenny:
And you know, when you do that, and we were talking about self-awareness a lot here,

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
and we talked about little Jenny and how that's how I figured out what I

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
like, really.

Brooke:
yeah.

Jenny:
And it's crazy. You're right. Because I have the same problem with, you know, when people would be like, oh, what's your hobbies? You know, at work, you have to do those like,

Brooke:
Yes, all the

Jenny:
those things or whatever,

Brooke:
quizzes

Jenny:
and all the things.

Brooke:
to

Jenny:
And you got

Brooke:
ask

Jenny:
to like, yeah,

Brooke:
the

Jenny:
it's

Brooke:
Myers-Britt,

Jenny:
like

Brooke:
all

Jenny:
team

Brooke:
the thing.

Jenny:
building, whatever. And it's like, well, what are your hobbies? And I remember literally the same thing. I'd be like, I don't have any hobbies. I have children. Like, I have no time for hobbies. And I'm like, I don't know.

Brooke:
Like.

Jenny:
And it was almost like, oh, I'm so important that I don't have time for this. And it's like, well, that's not really, like, that's not okay. The other thing I wanted to say too,

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
and my cousin Melissa, who's not on this episode with us, I recently discovered, through us working together on the podcast, I discovered how incredibly creative she is. I had no idea the artistic talent, she's gonna laugh when she knows that I said this out loud, but I... Brooke, I was astounded because we have our website,

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
steelroseswomen.com.

Brooke:
yes, love it, by the way.

Jenny:
Okay, so I'm very like blocky

Brooke:
Uh-huh.

Jenny:
and very linear. And so I did the whole framework for it. And I was like, hey, like, this looks good. We're gonna throw it up, like, go in there and edit it. And she's like, oh, let me, like, let me, let me tweak it, though. Give me a couple of days. And I was like, oh, okay. Oh, my God. I went back and I was like, holy crap. I was like, I can't, and I was like, I can't believe I think she did it in like two hours. And I was like, how did you see that? So that actually influenced how I started looking at stuff. And I said to her, I was like, you need to be doing something,

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
even like photography. She takes a maze. She's so creative. And it's not like she doesn't let that little secret. I had no idea. We've been friends for our whole lives. I had no idea

Brooke:
It's,

Jenny:
how creative she was.

Brooke:
isn't it crazy? And I've never met her clearly, but like, what I get from that is, like, I think I told you, like I always said, I'm not creative, I'm not creative, but I think it's just, it's the things, it's whatever it is when you're in flow and you're just like, and you don't even realize it, you

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
know, so it could be like work. Like I joked with you, like some, some people, their creativity comes through on spreadsheets, right? Because it's

Jenny:
Mm.

Brooke:
like, Oh my God, in the font and format and I can get it in the bowl,

Jenny:
Oh yeah.

Brooke:
like the numbers are in the alignment and whatever, but like

Jenny:
The formulas,

Brooke:
that's

Jenny:
yeah.

Brooke:
the formulas, like. That's its own form of creativity. But again, like that's like when you're in the flow and that is like when you're like your best self and like so many ideas. And so I think like I joke too, cause that's my background. But when I had to start doing like on Canva, you do, you know, like, it's like same with the website, but you also

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
do just different things. And I'm like, my thing was PowerPoints actually, when I had to give a presentation, first time I was like, ah, this is gonna push me out of the wall. I like throw my hands up, but then we got in there, I was like, oh. Like I actually care about the color, but it's like

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
exploring that a little bit to even see, and it is not just your side thing, it can be in your job.

Jenny:
It could be. So I'm glad you're saying that too, because I don't want

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
anyone to feel like, oh, you need to now

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
go out and get a creative hobby. That's not really it. Like in this moment, like what are you excited about?

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
Like, are you excited? Are you

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
excited about work? Is there an element of your job that you really, really love? Like, this sounds like really like, you know, boring and whatever, but I used to really like putting together processes. I

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
loved when

Brooke:
press

Jenny:
I was,

Brooke:
this map so you can give

Jenny:
oh

Brooke:
me

Jenny:
my

Brooke:
some video.

Jenny:
God. Give me a standard SOP, like a standard operating procedure. And I was like in heaven.

Brooke:
Oh my god.

Jenny:
And it's so boring, like it's boring. But like at the moment, I was

Brooke:
No?

Jenny:
like, this lights me up. I

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
feel like I'm doing something here. And that also aligns with, I wanted to help people.

Brooke:
Yeah!

Jenny:
I felt like I was doing something and doing that. And that's why like, and we need to be, I wanna be clear. Like

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
if you're in a job and you feel like you're in a rut, like, well, number one, like coaching is like huge. I...

Brooke:
huge.

Jenny:
strongly recommend, like even if you just do one session, find somebody and maybe like not everyone's for everybody, like that's

Brooke:
No,

Jenny:
definitely, that's 100%.

Brooke:
God,

Jenny:
Be,

Brooke:
no, just like friend, yeah.

Jenny:
oh yeah, 100%, just like.

Brooke:
Here's what I said, Jenny, too, because I mean, even what I do now, I was kind of a little bit anti it, because I'm like, who knows better? You know, like what if someone, they're not in my shoes or whatever, but like now I have women that talk to me and same when I work with coaches, it's like your personal board of directors. Like who else can just kind of see you, like the work side, the personal

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
side that's neutral and can be like. let's see what's best for you holistically, you know? And you're exactly right. It's not a leave your job, because actually then you're running away from something. Like if you are not fully like, I love it, just an acknowledgement that can be the case. That is a possibility in your life, but you're not gonna be able to plan it out. You're not gonna know here where that is, like 10 steps down the road. But to your point, what we're talking about is like... Lean into what feel, be aware of what is like exciting you in the aspect. Lean into the days that are good, note them down and start moving more towards that. It's like breadcrumbs, but then you're gonna start going towards that and you're gonna get used to the feeling good as opposed to getting used to at the end of

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
the day. You're like, eh, it's fine. You know, like it's just, it's like a muscle that you're strengthening and you're moving towards and like, oh, this is more fun. Oh, this is more fun. And like you said, you wouldn't have 10 years ago been like. Oh, SOPs are the end all be all. And it probably still is not, but it was

Jenny:
I'm

Brooke:
combining

Jenny:
sorry.

Brooke:
things that you would have never, like, you know, like, but it's hitting a bunch of the things that you know that you enjoy now. So like, you can be a little bit more proactive and like, oh, that checks these five boxes that I know are important to me,

Jenny:
Yeah,

Brooke:
you know?

Jenny:
exactly. How did you, I'll put you in the spot here.

Brooke:
Uh oh.

Jenny:
How did you know that you were being fulfilled with coaching? Like how did you get that

Brooke:
Oh,

Jenny:
sense

Brooke:
yeah.

Jenny:
that like, I want to do this.

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
Because switching from corporate is

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
a pretty big deal. Like that's a totally, it's a total shift from coaching.

Brooke:
So I couldn't have jumped right to it. I definitely, like I said, I did consulting because that was in my head and what my background was and it like made sense from a business plan and I still enjoy that business side. But two things, one, I was doing it for free. I and my husband, who's in finance would be

Jenny:
He

Brooke:
like,

Jenny:
must have lost

Brooke:
why

Jenny:
his mind.

Brooke:
are you spending all this time? And I didn't even look at it as coaching, but I just love. meeting women in particular and talking through things and like, and like it's a two way street too, but like, what are you doing? And I love when I feel like my story can help. So like just this is, this is what's helped me. And the more you do it, the more you are helpful. So one was I was just, I was, I was doing it and not because, and so that's like, I guess a hobby. Hey, that is my hobby. There you go.

Jenny:
laughs

Brooke:
But second is at the end of it, I'm excited. Like I'm, I'm like energized That took me a while to understand the difference because I, again, never was like in my body and noticing energy levels and like, what feels good and where

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
do I feel good? It was like in my head and I was always like, can I make money? What's the charging? You know, how do I market? Like it was always that side. And so it

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
took me, it's like peeling back the onion of yourself, which is why I always say like, but those are the two things. It's like, I was doing it even, I wanna do it even if there's no business around it, I'll do it on the side and also like energize. Like I could talk your ear off for like the next hour and a half.

Jenny:
which we did already earlier

Brooke:
Sorry.

Jenny:
this week, which we accidentally did.

Brooke:
Check, there you go. Welcome to my world.

Jenny:
And then from there, that's where you determined like, okay, well, I'm still gonna do consulting that still feels like something that you're touching, but then also you went to, so I had, and correct me if I have the website wrong, thisisusrising.com.

Brooke:
Yes, yes, this is us rising.

Jenny:
When you pointed me there, so what Brooke and I were going

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
back and forth via email. This is how it started via email. And I was like, oh, like send me your site. Like, let me check it out. I'm like, yeah, coaching cool or whatever. And I was telling her some of my stories. She was like, hold on a second. I've got an ace up my sleeve.

Brooke:
I see you and I'm like, I match you also. It was so, and you know what is, for anyone who's thinking of the path of, thinking about leaving, I will say it is still, I don't know if uncomfortable is the word, but having like, you call it multi-passionate, right? So forever, I was doing consulting, I have some clients on the small businesses, look again, looking to grow, and then thinking about doing. like coaching and retreats more formally. And we have, there's another product business that we've started to. So there's like several things going on that forever I looked at myself like, oh my God, it's shiny object syndrome. You're just like jumping from thing to thing. And I looked at it as negative, but it was because I had always been in my one singular job that I had

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
to go to the next step. And I finally, I was like, as human beings, we're not singular. You know, you have different interests. And it was just, it was for me knowing enough to say it's not because... Because there are times that you jump from something because it gets hard, you know? And so there's like, that's you've got to work through and just understand it for what it is. But having several things, that's a new thing for me since I left the traditional workforce and be like, how do I, like is that, and when someone says, you know, what do you do? How do I explain it? And I'm like, and that was also a mirror moment for me that I was over dependent on explaining myself by the job I was in, you know? So there's some of these moments that were like, but it was like a slow growth of like

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
being aware and being like, why does that bother me? Why does that bother me? Why does that bother me?

Jenny:
It's interesting because you're right, it is something that I leaned on. I

Brooke:
Oh

Jenny:
leaned

Brooke:
yeah,

Jenny:
on that pretty heavily

Brooke:
yeah.

Jenny:
to be like, oh, I'm a marketing executive.

Brooke:
Yes,

Jenny:
That sounds really cool.

Brooke:
yes, right?

Jenny:
That's awesome.

Brooke:
And like a company heard for

Jenny:
Yeah,

Brooke:
it, hears

Jenny:
I'm like,

Brooke:
and they're

Jenny:
you

Brooke:
like,

Jenny:
know,

Brooke:
done.

Jenny:
and I travel, oh

Brooke:
What else do you need to know?

Jenny:
my God, I mean, forget about it. Even traveling for business, I

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
was so

Brooke:
oh yeah,

Jenny:
excited.

Brooke:
yep.

Jenny:
I mean, it is the worst like,

Brooke:
Yes,

Jenny:
traveling

Brooke:
no,

Jenny:
for business is not fun. It's

Brooke:
but I

Jenny:
grueling,

Brooke:
agree.

Jenny:
like it's grueling. And I remember, but I remember when I was doing it, and I did it quite a bit when my kids

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
were little, but I did it because I was like, oh, they're babies. They have no idea that I'm not here. It's

Brooke:
Yep.

Jenny:
not a big deal. But as soon as they got old enough to like pay attention, I was like, that's it, like I'm done. And every job after that, I was like, I will, I refuse. I will not travel. Like that's my, that's my no.

Brooke:
I mean, I'll tell you a story too, and to the extent it helps anyone out there, but I felt the same way about traveling. I was in consulting for a while, and so every week I'd have to get on the plane, and I had one, my first, who was two years old at the time, but then I was pregnant with my second. And I remember, and I was like feeling important, like you know, like each week I got, and I was like, the freak went fire miles, and I got my place room going, and the hotel, you've got, you know, the points, and like I, you know, the client really enjoyed, like the work I was doing was good, but I remember. So I was like. on kind of that high, but never really, I think, like sitting with it and like, is this really in alignment with what I want? Because like it's important. But I got to the client side one week and my manager at the time sat me down. He's like, you know, and I think I was traveling, it was like Tuesday through Thursday. So it wasn't the full week at the time that he sat me down. He's like, you know, we're really gonna need you to travel more. And

Jenny:
Oh

Brooke:
he

Jenny:
my god.

Brooke:
said that, I literally tears, like I'd never cried in a job before. And they, like, I couldn't even start. It was like, what? It was like. So, and I was, because I had like kind of shoved what was important, you know, the whole of what was important to me and like solely focused on one thing. And I was like, that was such a sign. I was like, the fact that like, like that, I couldn't even hide those feelings and emotions, which usually I didn't show. And I was like, I think this, I think I'm going down a different path that I don't think I want to continue

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
down, you know? But it takes sometimes, I feel like it's like, takes like a push. like in that direction, like more so for you to be like, Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, like,

Jenny:
And

Brooke:
what am I going?

Jenny:
it's important to recognize that too.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
And I think that like we've got, it's so loud out there now

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
with social media, no one is ever disconnected. There's always something to look at. And then like once, you know, when you're out and about too, it's obviously there, it's like sensory overload. And because of all these things, people are falling out of alignment faster. And everybody, when we say like out of alignment, we mean like your path that like, that lights you up, basically,

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
like

Brooke:
Yep.

Jenny:
whatever is exciting for you, whatever you truly, truly love. Like when you start to fall off of that path, you might be okay for a little while, but eventually it's going to start wearing on you. And when you get that feeling, like everyone starts to ignore their gut feelings

Brooke:
Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
after a while, like, especially like, I mean, at my age, like, you're kind of like, you don't even think about it anymore. It's like second nature. But now I'm like, I pay attention.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
And if I get like a, well, because of AEA, I'm very mindful of being in alignment.

Brooke:
I know.

Jenny:
And I like,

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
I get this, what do I call my, Melissa, I tell her, I'm like, I get the bubbles or whatever.

Brooke:
But

Jenny:
And she's

Brooke:
yeah,

Jenny:
like, but.

Brooke:
I had someone ask me too, like where do you feel it in your gut? I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about. You know, like this was like a year ago. I'm like, I

Jenny:
Yeah,

Brooke:
don't,

Jenny:
I'm

Brooke:
I

Jenny:
going like

Brooke:
mean.

Jenny:
this. I'm going like this. This is where it comes, right here.

Brooke:
Yes,

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
but then she had like someone had me sit in again. It feels weird, but she had me sit with it. She's like, okay, you're feeling straight, you know, like Sunday night, scary or whatever. But she was

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
like, sit with that. Where do you feel it? Is it in your chest? Is it in your stomach? Is it in your head? Is it getting hot? Like, and it's for me, it's my chest. And I was like, yes, she's like, that is your gut. That is you telling

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
you that you're not in a light. Like something is going on. You have to listen to it. I was like, what? That is so crazy. And I'm like, duh,

Jenny:
It's real, though. It's a very real

Brooke:
it's

Jenny:
thing.

Brooke:
so real.

Jenny:
The

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
other part that I learned through AEA, I looked more into, and this is going to sound incredibly woo-woo, but I want to put this out there, too, because it makes sense.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
We have chakras

Brooke:
Mm-hmm.

Jenny:
in our body, and it's like

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
PowerPoints or center points. And this past year, I have lost my voice three times. I have never lost my voice before.

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
And each time I had to stay silent. for like five days.

Brooke:
Crazy.

Jenny:
Everyone who listens regularly knows that would be incredibly hard for me to

Brooke:
I'm

Jenny:
do.

Brooke:
sorry.

Jenny:
I had to just, I turned into, like my coworkers were joking, they were like, you're like a pandemime. Like,

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
because we would be on calls and I'd have to just give a thumbs up or like smile.

Brooke:
like a silent retreat you're on, but in

Jenny:
Basically,

Brooke:
your real life.

Jenny:
I was forced into it and it was interesting because like the first time it happened, I wasn't mad because normally I get really pissed when I'm sick. And I wasn't mad. And I kind of just like, interesting. I think maybe this is just like, I'm supposed to be silent and just listen and pay attention. And each time it happened, I was like, I guess I'm supposed to be shutting up now. And

Brooke:
You know.

Jenny:
I just kind of went with it. I was like, all right. And thankfully, it hasn't happened recently.

Brooke:
I mean, on that topic, I was just sharing, like Ariana Huffington, who, I mean, you could, like super, you know, like, but she'll share the story, right, of Huffington Post, and she finally hit it, well, she literally collapsed because she was ignoring all the stuff, too. She just posted this quote of hers, which I love, it was on LinkedIn, like this week, which was, "'When the world gets crazy and you feel like you're spinning out of control, that's the time you need to get silent.'" And that is when, like, and it was so, it's like, like she's, and so it was like, you take a second with it, right? Absolutely right. She's like, that's when you hear your gut. That's when you get

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
silent and you know your inner direction, what you need to go. And I'm like, and it's the most the time you need to do it. The most is when you feel like the word, the most out of control.

Jenny:
Yeah,

Brooke:
Silence is it.

Jenny:
100%,

Brooke:
And I'm like,

Jenny:
100%.

Brooke:
huh, I have the answers.

Jenny:
Don't try to control it. Don't try to lean into that and go crazy.

Brooke:
Um,

Jenny:
Cause that was always like

Brooke:
me.

Jenny:
my like, my cushion for me was like, I need to control the shit out of

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
this. What can

Brooke:
yeah,

Jenny:
I do to control it?

Brooke:
yeah.

Jenny:
And you actually wanna do the opposite.

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
You wanna just take a minute

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
and take

Brooke:
and

Jenny:
it

Brooke:
let

Jenny:
in.

Brooke:
it let it

Jenny:
Let

Brooke:
and then

Jenny:
it happen.

Brooke:
see like what is this saying to me, you know?

Jenny:
What am I feeling? And that again, I would have, if you had asked me that even two years ago,

Brooke:
Mm-mm.

Jenny:
I would have never said that.

Brooke:
No.

Jenny:
I would have never, the amount of change that has happened over the

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
past year

Brooke:
It's

Jenny:
with

Brooke:
crazy,

Jenny:
like

Brooke:
isn't it?

Jenny:
finding Cathy, finding

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
Cathy Heller and launching the podcast and finding AEA and then obviously

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
Brooke and I are best friends now. Like

Brooke:
clearly.

Jenny:
it's just like,

Brooke:
Like

Jenny:
it's

Brooke:
my new

Jenny:
wild.

Brooke:
long

Jenny:
It's

Brooke:
lost

Jenny:
hilarious.

Brooke:
best friend, I can't believe it. I mean, here's the one thing I want to leave to is there is a, there is a difference between misalignment, which I feel like I had been in for a while, you

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
know, and pushing yourself in an uncomfortable way, but what is good, you know, and that also takes getting quiet because And the difference for me is the sustained, like you said, there can be days where you have bad days or you're like, oh my God, I'm really nervous about a presentation or I put myself out there for a speech

Jenny:
Of course.

Brooke:
or whatever it is. I have a new boss that is growing in good ways. You're expanding

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
your comfort level. You're like limiting beliefs, all the stuff that you can dig up, but it's the sustained every Sunday, you have the Sunday scaries and

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
you are getting more and more tired by the day and you're not sleeping well and like. all of those, which by the way, lead to unhealthy, super unhealthy in general, but that's the sign that you're not in alignment. And you're,

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
because, and I think we've said this at the start is it starts with like a acknowledgement and a knowing that it can be different. And you can have a job that not only pays you, but also that you enjoy. Like that

Jenny:
Mm-hmm.

Brooke:
is out there and it is a striving to find that. You know, day by day. And it's not, it doesn't have to be a hard striving where you leave your job and you're like,

Jenny:
No,

Brooke:
sell your house and everything.

Jenny:
no,

Brooke:
It's just,

Jenny:
it does not

Brooke:
noticing,

Jenny:
need to be like that. Yeah.

Brooke:
yeah, every day what felt good. What was the good thing today? What did I, what do I want to do tomorrow? And it's like, like you said, a year later, you can't believe, you know, you follow

Jenny:
Thank

Brooke:
that

Jenny:
you.

Brooke:
breadcrumb of like, let me try a podcast.

Jenny:
I

Brooke:
That's

Jenny:
really

Brooke:
cool. You're like, you are the perfect example. Like, that's exactly it.

Jenny:
did. Yeah. I'm like, this is like literally like I had said to you the other day, I'm like when I get to come on and talk with

Brooke:
See?

Jenny:
people and even when it's like myself and my cousin, like this happened where she's not able to come to all the guest recordings because of her schedule and I'm like, I'll take them. It's not a big deal. But then her and I won't record the weeks

Brooke:
Yeah.

Jenny:
that I record with other guests. So it'll be like two or three weeks in between her and I having FaceTime again. And she tells me, she's like, damn, she's like, I always feel it. She was like, she feels it when we don't get there. And then when we actually get to connect, she's like, it's like a relief.

Brooke:
Yeah,

Jenny:
And

Brooke:
yeah.

Jenny:
I tell him like, this is like, this is such a good thing. And it's been such a joyful thing for me that I'm like, I love it. I don't even care that

Brooke:
No,

Jenny:
I'm like doing,

Brooke:
that's

Jenny:
doing extra

Brooke:
the

Jenny:
stuff.

Brooke:
sign.

Jenny:
Like, I don't care. I love it.

Brooke:
You got to keep doing it. And like you said, like you are the perfect example. You're energized after it. Like even though you have your full-time job, you're doing

Jenny:
Oh, yeah.

Brooke:
this. And that doesn't mean again grind it out and everyone has to do the side gig. But it's a sign that it's like you're getting energy from it. And it's so like, that's so amazing. And keep doing it because clearly it's hitting a pulse with people and they love it. I love listening to you. I'm just so grateful. We found each other, so

Jenny:
I know.

Brooke:
I know.

Jenny:
Well, Brooke will definitely

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
be back again because we've already, we actually had a preliminary discussion about like all these other

Brooke:
Oh

Jenny:
things

Brooke:
my God,

Jenny:
that we could discuss.

Brooke:
so many.

Jenny:
You have to check her out. So brookk.com, thisisusrising.com and

Brooke:
Yes.

Jenny:
then you can find her on social at brookkcoaching. Thank you so much for being

Brooke:
Jenny,

Jenny:
on with me today.

Brooke:
oh my God, I'd love our conversations. I could,

Jenny:
I know

Brooke:
I told you, I could talk to you for hours.

Jenny:
it's going to be like weeklies

Brooke:
But,

Jenny:
now. I know

Brooke:
right?

Jenny:
I can feel it. Yeah.

Brooke:
But it's just, it's a sign that like, there's so many women out there that need to keep doing what you're doing and hearing these stories. And everyone's like trying to, everyone's trying to find their thing,

Jenny:
trying

Brooke:
their

Jenny:
to find

Brooke:
thing, right?

Jenny:
it.

Brooke:
Let's

Jenny:
Yeah.

Brooke:
just keep trying to find our thing. Find each

Jenny:
Excellent.

Brooke:
other that we can talk through. Thank you, Jenny. Thank you,

Jenny:
Thank

Brooke:
thank you.

Jenny:
you. And thank you all for listening so much. We greatly appreciate it. If you are looking for any form or any prior episodes, if you access www.steelroseswomen.com, click on the podcast link there. You can find all of our prior episodes and just check everything out. It's lots of good stuff. Brooke, thank you again and thank you everybody.

Brooke:
Bye.