From High Achiever To Balanced Mom: Owning Ambition Without Losing Yourself

What if the “choice” between an ambitious career and a devoted family was never the point? We open up about the quiet negotiations behind working motherhood—how identity, systems, and support shape a life where achievement and care can both thrive. From a sink-or-swim start in medical communications to leading with calm under pressure, I share the lessons that turned challenges into catalysts. The viral idea of a “mom career crisis” sparked this conversation, not to dramatize the tension but to name it clearly and build better answers.

You’ll hear practical strategies that keep real life moving: 4:30 a.m. deep work sessions, protected evening family blocks, and the surprisingly effective 4:30 p.m. kid dinner that anchors homework, showers, and bedtime. We look at balance as a verb, not a prize—hour-by-hour priority shifts, graceful pivots when plans break, and habits that reduce decision fatigue. We also get honest about messy nights when everything hits at once, and why a text to someone who understands can rescue both your mood and your momentum.

Mentorship and culture matter just as much as calendars. A manager who develops talent instead of tearing it down can quiet imposter syndrome and help you grow faster with less self-doubt. That kind of support turns ambition into something sustainable. If you’re a high achiever, a working mom, or someone building confidence in a demanding field, consider this your reminder: you’re likely not behind—you’re building. Subscribe for more honest, practical episodes on women’s careers, resilience, and everyday systems that work. If this conversation resonated, share it with a friend and leave a quick review so we can keep elevating women’s voices together.

Transcript

Setting The Mission For Women

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everybody, this is Steel Roses Podcast. This podcast was created for women by women to elevate women's voices. I hope everyone is doing well. Um, I am freezing as per usual, but that is nothing new in New Jersey in February because apparently we are due for another snowstorm. So everybody gear up for the weekend. I wanted to take a minute, I actually had a couple topics in mind to discuss with you, but I came across a post that made me take pause. And it's something I haven't really talked too much about in a while, but I I did want to revisit it because it's part of the ongoing day-to-day life. And that is really what this podcast is about. The core center of this podcast was to highlight women in every single day life, not the extraordinary, but the ordinary, and the extraordinary within that ordinary is actually really what I want to highlight because across all classes of women, I see the strength and I see the resilience, and it's such a beautiful thing to observe and to be a part of, to count myself in this generation of women that are making changes and making waves and really trying to make a difference is a big deal and it's an honor. Um part of what stopped me with this post, um, because I do want to talk about the day-to-day, um, it's called the the catch in the top with the mom career crisis, no one prepared for prepared you for. So you know where this is going. If you're a working mom, this will probably resonate with you too. It's a um, it kind of just goes through talking about for women who were really going for their career and really, you know, dedicated and loved it and loved what they were doing, the ones who always wanted more, your identity was really tied to your achievement professionally. You're top performer, next in line, future leader, you really just like knocking it out of the park, right? And I started clicking through this post and I'm like, you know, this actually does resonate quite a bit with me because when I started my career in 2007, roughly, I really was of that very eager mindset of I will work whatever hours you want me to. I want to learn the job and I want to do this to the best of my ability. Very early on, I learned that when I'm challenged and when I'm told you can't do this or you're not good at this, that's pretty much the catalyst for me to become an expert at something because that to me is not a tear down. It's a challenge that I'm gonna grab and run with and I'm gonna prove people wrong. Not everyone feels that way, but that was just something that like really pressed me early on, my very first agency job. Um, it was very much at that time in the industry, very much uh, you know, sink or swim. So you're basically thrown into the deep end of the pool with, you know, little to no experience and expected to see how you perform under pressure. And that's how you basically that's how this sounds horrible now, but that's how you were weeded out. That's how people weeded out on whether or not they can make it in the industry, because it is a tough industry, which sounds crazy because it's just medical communications, but it is high pressure and there's a lot on the line. There is a lot on the line and a lot of money on the line. And, you know, anticipation is high for um or expectations are high for success. And you want to knock it out of the park, and there's people depending on you. So when I grew up in the industry, it was very much like, you know, we're gonna put your feet to the fire, and if you don't make it out the other side, it means this industry isn't for you, go do something easier. That's me with insulting. So I I very much wanted to prove my point that I could make it, and I did, right? So I have been in my industry for 18 years, and it's been something that's been incredibly rewarding and amazing to go through, but then at the same time, incredibly difficult. I've grown as an adult, which sounds weird to say too, but I've grown up as an adult into my person in this industry, and it has actually helped shape a lot of who I am because of the people that I've engaged with and the things that I've learned on the job, it is a huge impact. And I think anybody, anyone, but we're focusing on women, any women who are dedicated there to their careers are going to find that it does impact them personally as well. Now, the biggest pivot for women, I think in general, is when they decide to start a family. Now, the fear consistently is if I start a family, my professional career is going to slow down. And I am going to have to put my professional aspirations on the back burner. I was actually told this specifically from a family member who I have family members who listen, but I will not name names, but I did have a family member who told me you're gonna have to make a choice at some point. You're gonna have to decide do you want to really excel or do you want to slow down and have a family? And this was yet another example of someone telling me to do something or telling me that I had to make this choice, and me saying, I'm not gonna make that choice. Um, being a working mom, I've said before, is not for the faint of heart. It is very, very difficult, but also incredibly rewarding. When I have those days where I achieve at work and I achieve at home, I'm like walking on cloud nine. It is probably those days where I'm like, this is what I was talking about. I can do this, I can make this work, like I cannot get out of the park at work and at home. But then I'll have a day directly thereafter that it's not vibing and things go wrong. But that is not because it's a failure of work or home. That is just reality. Because in reality, nothing is perfect all the time. So when you think as a mom of work-life balance and wanting to prioritize different things at different times, you have to look at the bigger picture here. It is not about knocking it out of the park all the time. It is about making it work in the moment and prioritizing what you need to prioritize in the moment. So you will have times where it's push pull. Now, speaking from my perspective, yes, there are times where there's push-pull, but there's also times where I double time it. And that happens quite a bit, where I decide I do want to be there for my kids, right? I am full-on, hands-down, involved in my kids' lives. I help them with their homework, I go to all of their events at school, I try to make things as fun as possible on the weekends for them. I want to be involved in all elements of their lives. I want to know them as people, not just as my kids. And that's always a priority. But my job is also always a priority, right? Because I love my job. I'm dedicated to my work, I'm dedicated to my team. So then how does this work? How do I make both work at the same time? My stepdaughter quite often points to me as the example of what she doesn't want to do. And I say that with a lot of love, but I laugh about it too because, as I said, it's not for the faint of heart. Now I have days where I'm up and working at 4:30 in the morning because I want to make sure that I'm delivering across the board. Then I will stop work at seven, get breakfast on the table, get my husband off to work, get my kids out the door for school, start my official day of work. And then I started employing a new technique because I was noticing my kids were coming home from school hungry, carrying through snacks and then not eating dinner. So I'm dazed that I can make it work. I will make sure I have quote unquote kid dinner ready at 4 30. I know that sounds nuts for all of my late, late, late night eaters, but for the kids, having them eat by 4 35 o'clock, my kids get home at 4 o'clock. So if they eat a dinner at 4 30, 5 o'clock, that really sets them, sets the tone for them for the evening because then quickly thereafter, it's go take showers, then it's settle down, calm down for the night, homework, et cetera, whatever else needs to happen. So I've been employing that as much as I can. Sometimes it doesn't happen, you know, depending on if my kids are hungry or not, sometimes it doesn't work that way, you know. And then I just pivot accordingly. And I think it's that, okay, well, I'm not gonna be able to get them to eat early dinner, we're gonna do late dinner, and then but then it just means I have to continue working through the evening. There is Monday through Friday a significant amount of time that I am balancing between I'm gonna work and make sure that I get my hours in and early in the morning and at night, but then I have that dedicated amount of time for about three or so hours in the evenings after work, after five o'clock, where I am stepping away. I'm stepping away from my desk and I am focusing on my family until I can get everybody into debt and everything. So it's it's a matter of striking that balance. Now, when I made the joke earlier about my my stepdaughter says I'm the example that she doesn't, she doesn't want to do, is because while I'm talking you through this process, I'm also thinking about what it is to actually do it. It is exhausting, it can be frustrating. I very often have days where I feel like I'm failing everywhere, but I've been told that that's not accurate. And it's just me judging myself, which that is probably true. And then I have days where I have that whole imposter syndrome happen, which doesn't happen as much as it used to. I actually used to tell you guys about that quite a bit before, but now it's not as much. Now it's a lot more um it's honestly not at all. It's not focused on that at all. There is the imposter syndrome, it is not there as heavily. Now, occasionally it does come in, and occasionally I'm like, oh my gosh, what are you doing? Do you even know what you're doing? But that has been significantly, significantly reduced. And I think it's probably due to the fact that I have such an amazing manager because she has really helped to guide me in my new agency with developing and honing my skills versus, you know, tearing down, which happens quite a bit. But again, I sit here talking with you about it, and I'm just picturing the really tough nights, which I had one recently where things really spiraled. Husband was sick, kids came home from school, I'm very busy at work, I had to stop to make sure everybody was okay. And then they wanted to do homework right away, and I don't ever want to deter that. So I made sure I got homework done early. Then I had to make sure I got dinner on the table, but then I also needed to make sure I got work back into for work. But then there was also a lot of grouchiness at home because people aren't feeling well. Things just don't work up. And you know, when your gotcha, your temper is shorter. So it's just it was one of those snowball nights where I texted my cousin and was just like, this is awful, and just kind of ran through it. And she's like, I feel you, I understand. Um, I think it's also highlighting those kinds of relationships where you have someone that you can go to to say, oh my gosh, this stinks, and they're like, Girl, I got you, because it helps keep that sanity, right? Which is important. So I do want to take a moment here to acknowledge all the women out there that are working professionals. Number one, whether you're a mother or not, I see you. You're a high achiever. I think it's amazing. All high achieving women need some kind of applause. They need somebody in their corner cheering them around because this is tough to all my women out there that are high achieving mothers in the workforce. Good God, God bless you, because that is hard. It's probably one of the greatest accomplishments of my life to be able to sit here as a professional who's respected in the in her industry. And I also have a very loving family that I just am so devoted to. And then to everybody else who's trying to get their feet on the ground, trying to work their careers, just keep at it. As much as you might think you're behind, I can guarantee you you probably aren't, and you're just pushing yourself super hard. I'm not gonna tell you to slow down because I never did, and I don't regret that at all. Um, I have times where I'm I have I think back on like, was this? Should I have gone this hard? Should I have gone this route? But in reality, I can't see it being done any other way. So I encourage you to just find something that works for you, find something that suits you to the best of your ability, and then you just have to keep moving from there and adapting from there. I just want you to know that I see you. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I really appreciate again all the new subscribers for the podcast. It's been really overwhelming to see the amount of downloads that have been coming in per day. It's such an honor to be welcomed into your lives just using my voice. And I just greatly appreciate all of you. So until the next time, thank you so much for hanging out with me and take care.