Too Many Fart Jokes And One Hard No

I hit that parenting wall where everything feels too loud, too fast, and too much. After a weekend of my son’s big outbursts, a stressful attempt to do “normal” family plans, and me running on low fuel, I realize I’m not just tired I’m dysregulated. And when I’m dysregulated, my kids don’t get the best of me. They get the snapped tone, the short fuse, and the version of me I don’t feel proud of. 

So I do something I’m still learning how to do: I prioritize myself. Even though I already promised the kids they could have friends over, I cancel the playdate and set a boundary. I talk to each child calmly, explain that I’m overwhelmed, and choose a quieter day instead of forcing a situation that would push me into bitterness. The surprising part is what happens next: my kids notice, they pivot, and we find a little pocket of peace that actually feels like the weekend I was hoping for. 

We also get practical about what makes overwhelm worse, like skipping protein, not drinking enough water, and trying to power through without a reset. If you’re juggling motherhood, mental health, emotional regulation, and the constant pressure to “show up” no matter what, this conversation is your permission slip to back out when you need to. The support I get from other moms after I cancel is a reminder that women supporting women is real and necessary. 

If this resonates, listen now, share it with a friend who needs a breath, and leave a review so more moms can find it. What’s one boundary you wish you’d set sooner?

Transcript

Welcome To Sil Roses

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everybody, this is Sil Roses Podcast. This podcast was created for women by women to elevate women's voices. I hope everyone is having a really, really amazing week. Um, I'm hanging in there, all everybody. I know Monday's episode is a little dreary. So this episode, I just wanted to talk quickly about something else that I did over the weekend that I thought was really significant to share. So, as I mentioned, I was struggling a bit. I was feeling very overwhelmed with being a mom. Well, that's not right. I was very overwhelmed because of my son and the outbursts that he was having for the weekend. Nevertheless, we carry on, right? And so, in part of me being overwhelmed, I did something that I don't usually do and I'm trying to get better at. I prioritized myself. Now that sounds crazy, right? Like, how could that not be something that you're good at? But for me, I'm not good at it. So I work at it. And over the weekend, or prior to the weekend, I had promised the kids that they could all have somebody over to play. Now, I had wanted to do it for Saturday because Sunday to me is well, unfortunately, sometimes I have to work, which has been recently. Yes, I had to work this past weekend. But beyond that, I like to take Sunday to reset myself, get my groceries kind of settled for the week, look up recipes, just get myself like mentally prepped that like we're about to start another week. So I typically don't do things on Sundays because of that. So I told everyone they could have friends over, and then Saturday came and some of the friends weren't available. And we had talked, you know, perhaps about moving it to Sunday. And I told all the parents I would text them and let them know. So Saturday was very hard again because of the emotional dysregulation that was happening at my house with my son. Um, but we were pressing on and we did some family things. We were very excited to go and look for a new couch because the couch that we have is a starter couch. The starter couch is a very small couch that was very inexpensive that we bought when we first moved in here because um our couches were falling apart from our apartment. It's it was very small, so small that you could really only fit three, three kids, three big kids, and perhaps two adults. It was just a small couch. So flash forward five years in this house, and we're like, we we really do need to get something we can all sit on because we don't even go and hang out in the living room. So we were really looking forward to that. And unfortunately, on the way there, my son caused my husband to get dysregulated, and I got dysregulated emotionally, and we still got the couch, but it was just like okay. And then unfortunately, my son, my my husband had to go to a funeral, and it just became, you know, kind of like a afternoon because he was gone. And then again, the emotional dysregulation. I was just feeling it. I I just was, and sometimes I'm better at it. And this weekend I just wasn't. And so Saturday afternoon, I just I was tired. And then on top of it, I I didn't eat well on Saturday. I didn't drink enough water, I didn't eat enough, I didn't eat enough protein, I didn't enough greens, like I just did not take care of myself. And thus by Sunday night, I was just out of it or Saturday night. I was just I was out of it. I I just felt awful and terrible and I wasn't happy. I was sad, and I just wanted the day to end. So I told my kids, listen, because and they were they weren't being bad, they were just being kids, but you know, it got to the point where I was so overwhelmed that I just started yelling at them and asking them to please like be quiet because I just got to a point where I was like, I just can't take it anymore. I mean, there's only so many jokes you can hear about farts before you start to really lose my mind if your mind, if I'm really gonna be honest with you. So Saturday evening, I determined that I said it in anger at first, but then I said it seriously, and I was like, you know what? No, like this is what I'm gonna do. I need to do this. And so I told my kids, we were not going to have friends over on Sunday. Now, initially everybody cried, they were pissed, literally told me we're pissed, and kind of let it go for a little bit. Because normally I say things in anger, but then I do it anyway. This is a bad habit that I have. So I waited until I calmed down and then I thought about it a little bit more and was like, you know what? I'm stressed out trying to squeeze everything in. Why don't I just go with what I said and tell them we're not gonna have friends over? So I sat with each of them and explained to each of them, uh, you know, we're not gonna do this, we're not gonna have friends over tomorrow. Mommy was very overwhelmed today, and I just want to have a day tomorrow to relax and, you know, do stuff with you guys, you know, together. And I don't want to have other kids here because I have to work too, and I just I just don't want it. I I'm not in the mood for it to have all that. Oddly enough, after I spoke to them like that in a calm way and just said, look, we're gonna have to just move it. They did see how frustrated I was getting, they did see how upset I was getting. My girls, my son does it too, but not as not as acutely as the girls. The girls can pick up and they see it, they see when I'm really hurting, and they will pivot accordingly, which is the most amazing of things because they're eight. But they do, they pivot accordingly. And they said, Doug, you know, sorry, mommy, sorry for today. And they're apologizing, even though really the dysregulation wasn't coming from them. But they said, okay, you know, they they were good with it. Now, the reason why I wanted to highlight this to you guys is because this is a pretty good example of prioritizing myself, right? And then also um pivoting and doing what's right for you. So normally, under that circumstance, I would have sucked it up and said, it's fine, have your friends over. And I would have been mad, I would have been stressed out, I would have been bitter, I would have been just a mess today, but I would have done it and then just been pissed off and bitter about it. Instead, I set a boundary and I said, no, I can't do this. I know I can't do it, I know I'm gonna be upset about it, I'm not gonna force it. So I'm gonna say no this time. And now I know some of you are like, well, if you're kids, you can say no whenever the hell you want. No, no, you're absolutely right. And that's not my point. That's not the point I'm saying. My point really is if you find yourself in a situation where you're not feeling up to something, even if you've already committed to it, there is no harm in backing out. Well, say it again. There is no harm in backing out. People who know you and, you know, at you as a human, okay, they'll just say okay. You know, like it's not the end of the world to admit like, I need a minute or I'm sorry, but I I'm not able to do this right now. It's not the end of the world, actually. It makes you a better individual because you're prioritizing yourself. And what is that phrase they always say? Like, you cannot drink from an empty cup. So if your cup is empty and you're trying to feed quote unquote your kids, well, you can't if your cup is empty. What are they getting? They're getting toxicity from you. So the goal is to fill your cup so that you don't feel like that. And then you can feed and show your children the best that you can be. You know, that's really the goal. And so in selecting myself this weekend over my kids' entertainment, I was able to have some very light. There was at least three hours out of Sunday that felt like this was the dream weekend, this was the weekend I would have been hoping for. I'll take it. I really will, because not everything is perfect all the time. And we shouldn't expect it to be. There is are difficult things. There's times you're just not feeling up to it emotionally. You could be going through something personally, you might not be going through something personally, and perhaps it's your hormones just going bananas. It really could be any reason. But if you find yourself low, then you know, do what you need to do to to regulate yourself and even out. You're not, you're not a robot. Nobody's nobody's gonna expect you to be a robot, really. And if you're sitting here telling, if you're nodding along and saying, no, you know what? No, I have to show up for this, or Jenny, how could you cancel that play date for your kids? Like that really was for them. Honestly, there will be other play dates, and this is not gonna make or break them in their lives, like they will be fine. I did not have play dates every weekend when I was a kid. I don't know why these guys think it's okay. Um, but nevertheless, I did want to share that. It is important to prioritize yourself, your mental health. If you're not feeling up to something, make it known. I texted the other mothers and said, Yesterday was a stress ball. I'm gonna have to cancel for today. We'll do it another time. And they texted back and were like, they're like, You don't have to explain to me, you have to say that twice. I know exactly what you're going through. Take your time. You know, like the support was real, the support was there, and ever that's how I know everyone is going through this. So that's really like what I wanted to say here is you know, if you're feeling something, you're going through it, raise your hand and say, No, you know what? I need to back out and just back out. Do what you need to do because at the end of the day, you don't want to be stuck in a situation that is gonna make you upset and unhappy. So make sure you do that because if you don't, then you will end up being mad, you will end up being bitter, and then it's just gonna eat away at you. I hope that this episode helped you in some way. Um, and the example helped a bit. I'm still a little bit low, but I will get there, everybody. Thank you for being with me this week, even though these are not the most uplifting episodes, but hey, that is real life, and this is what we have to deal with. So thank you again for being here with me today. I appreciate all of you so much, and I will catch you on the next one. Take care.