Ep 17: Wine and Punishment

This week Rachel and Margie head into uncharted terriroty with an action-mystery-romance-thriller! This is a definite palate cleanser from next week so don't be afraid to listen! Please also rate, review, and subscribe!

Transcript

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Rachel: 0:00

Warning. The following podcast contains adult themes. Our hosts are just too romantic saps that love overthinking and overanalyzing their favorite literary genre the thoughts and opinions expressed are entirely their own listener discretion is advised.

Margie: 0:20

tearing me apart from

Rachel: 0:32

Hello, and welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels. I'm your co host, Rachel

Margie: 0:38

and I are co hosts Margie, and this is Betsy

Rachel: 0:41

and this is Betsy. We also have a co host Bitsy today hash hashtag podcasting hashtag pacchetti. Every other week, one of us reads a romance novel and summarizes it for our unsuspecting co host. And together we unpack what the fuck just happened. So this week, I your co host, Rachel, and have read the book. And I will be telling Margie all about it. I'm so excited. And don't worry, guys, it's so much better than two weeks ago. My Oh, yeah.

Margie: 1:14

Rachel, again, that is such a low bar.

Rachel: 1:17

There will be no social justice ranting in this. Thank God yes, in order to deal with last book and the last book, and I absolutely do not. In any way condone this. We've been drinking. Yeah, no

Margie: 1:31

really needed.

Rachel: 1:32

This could be a fun episode extra. But I made the mistake of doing my episode second of the two of us, which means Oh, no,

Margie: 1:41

let's face it, we needed to be more sober for that last book.

Rachel: 1:45

I don't know because now I have to try to tell you all about this book after I've been through an entire bottle of wine. In about an hour and a half,

Margie: 1:55

you understand the plight of the last book still, because let me tell you, I don't want to present.

Rachel: 2:00

Alright, so if you made it back to us, you're welcome. We're very happy. You stuck it out. Last week was really rough two weeks ago. I also think it was very important. So I'm glad that you stuck it out with us. We have a really fun one today that I actually really enjoy. So a little bit about today. Today, we actually learned a very valuable lesson. I decided to try to hunt down a genre that we had not done yet. So and to be fair, I tried to hunt it down when we hadn't done Margie kind of tackled it last week or two weeks ago, but that's okay. What was the genre? But I tried to hunt down was mystery action. Oh, so we haven't really done that before. And I know sometimes we get a little bit of flack for doing a lot of fantasy because both Margie and I really like fantasy. But this one I tried to find Well, let's

Margie: 2:54

face it. The last one was a frickin fantasy Jesus. No,

Rachel: 2:58

but it was a little bit in the mystery action. We tackled it very thoroughly last week.

Margie: 3:02

Okay, but can I see you?

Rachel: 3:05

Okay, so again, I hunted down mystery action themed romance novels. I have never read a mystery action, a romance novel. And what we learned throughout this experience is that Rachel loves mystery action, sci fi romance novels, typically, but also at the same time, I can never read them, because I never want to put them down. Right. So I'm gonna hand you the cover. And it's really boring. Gotcha. And also, this is not the cover that my book has. So I might give you the cover that my book has to Okay.

Margie: 3:35

Whoo. And it's, uh, hello. Okay. Okay. So it's called heartbreaker. And it's by Julie Garwood. And I know this because the the name of the author literally takes up half front of the book. Yeah. And it says the extraordinary new New York Times bestseller Heartbreaker, a crackling good thriller. Ooh, okay. And so it's got this picture of like, a, a one story house. I'm assuming that has either I think that it's just like a very red bright Sunset Bar behind it. That's kind of putting it in profiles.

Rachel: 4:15

Pretty close. I'm gonna go and also give you the one that I saw. Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah,

Margie: 4:19

it's like a it looks like the sunset is so strong in both of these. In both of these cover art, that it almost makes it look like the house in the field around it, like the farmland around it is on fire because reds, oranges and yellows.

Rachel: 4:35

Right. And I will also say so first thing I noticed that I noticed especially was that there's no man and woman on this cover. Yeah, it's just that's very true. Yeah, man or woman. The other thing is that so when I looked for the genre, what I did was I went on my library's ebook app, and I literally filtered everything by romance and then by mystery action, right? There's a lot of Julie Garwood. So she's actually from what I could tell is a pretty big name in the mystery action romance genre. A lot of books Roy her there was her and like one or two other authors that most of them were by. So this one is the first one in her series and it's kind of just the one I picked because honestly from the name, I thought it was going to be awful. Because the name Heartbreaker sounds so overdramatic, and extra. So I'm going to give my

Margie: 5:25

face please please Z

Rachel: 5:27

description.

Margie: 5:28

So in the still shadows of the confessional, a madman tauntingly reveals His plan for a murder he's going to commit pulling Father Thomas Madden, into a twisted game by disclosing his next intended victim, Tom sister Lawrence, and an frantic race to protect our Tom calls upon his best friend, elite FBI agent Nick Buchanan to track the predator who is closing in on Lauren. Now as an electrically electrifying attractor grows between Lauren and Nick, so does the danger and one false move will cost both of them everything that matters. Okay, I'm really upset. And the reason is, is because two weeks ago, or three weeks ago, when I was reading a book, this was the one I wanted to be reading. It's so good. Really good.

Rachel: 6:13

I will say real quick. So I looked it up. Yeah, literally looked up how to pronounce it. So Laura. Laura is French. Laura. Yes, she's actually French. And so her name isn't a special snowflake Lauren with a T. It's pronounced Laurel. And I will do my best to remember how to say Lauren. I'm not French. I do not know French. I will do my best. I did love it. I

Margie: 6:35

just really civics book though just by the description.

Rachel: 6:38

So trigger warnings. Okay, real quick, ready. There's a little bit of like, so there's no sexual assault. There's none of this other stuff. The only thing that I will say exists. And it's a very, very, like, kind of a stretch. But I figured it's worth mentioning is there's a serial killer in this. So anything involving like, abduction and murder. Yeah, that's a little bit of an issue. But everything else is like, not nothing, man. We're good. We're fine. We're good book. Alright. So I like to go over our characters. Right. So what I consider to be a really, really big tick in the this is awesome column for this book, is the fact that I had a really difficult time finding a description for her. Found one for him. But again, it was hard. Like it's not it's all apps, but it was like it was so just seamlessly integrated in the actual book that I it was really hard for me to like, oh, at this point, she sees him for the first time and is like, oh my god, none of that happened. It

Margie: 7:47

was all super organic. Right

Rachel: 7:49

and organic. Right? I take that as a huge takeaway. This is a good book. I love it. Right. I should also mention, this isn't just the first time I've read a mystery romance mystery action romance novel. It's the first time I've really read like a mystery action novel. Really? Yeah, I've like I read most of the Vinci code. I'm not quite finished yet working on it. I know I'm working,

Margie: 8:10

even though Angels and Demons is better. But that's

Rachel: 8:13

like the only one that I've really read. So this was the first one that I finished and it was really good. So Laura, I know has brown eyes. Okay, I'm pretty sure she also has brown hair. And it should be mentioned she at one point did a little bit of modeling in Italy. So she's saying yeah, she grew up in a convent in France. Catholicism is kind of a big theme in this book. So she grew up in a convent in France away from again, like The Da Vinci Code right away from her brother and away from her family. Nick Buchanan is

Margie: 8:45

love that last name. Good name, right? Yeah, it really rolls off the tongue.

Rachel: 8:50

So Nick Buchanan cuz I did actually find his description, I was able to find his he's tall, dark haired, tan, blue eyes, a quick sort of background on him. Because it comes into play and it with my the way I broke down the story doesn't really come into play in the story, but a good background for him. He is an FBI agent. He works for a special group called the apostles because there's 12 of them. And wow, oh, just though Well, no, like really like, you gotta be the best of the best to get into this group. And what they do is they specialize in finding missing and kidnapped children. So they do a lot of really cool like, So it literally starts off with him talking with his boss who's essentially a psychologist. Hey, you had to kill someone in your last mission because they were holding a knife to a child's throat. How do you feel like he does really awesome work as far as some of the really crazy higher profile kidnappings and MISSING CHILDREN cases.

Margie: 9:48

Frick frack paddywhack

Rachel: 9:51

dude sexy shit alright, so And because I guess because I had a little bit Background on him a little bit of background Lauren. She has a brother. So when her parents died, her and her brother were separated, she went to a convent and a girls school in France, because there's a trust fund in her name that depended on her. Like when she grew up, she would get it right. And happened after her parents died. Her brother Tommy went on to become a priest in the States. So she was separated him from him for most of her life. And they've recently reconnected so it's just an account. Yeah, in a in a city and like Iowa, I think it's either I read Kansas, I can't remember. But so the very connected and they're really close now because they've been separated for so long. They're like, Hey, we're family like this is the really close. So there's background and both of them nice. They have good backgrounds, right? Yeah, stories. Okay, so we're getting into our scenes. For those of you who have not listened to me tell a story recently. I like to break shit down and scenes

Margie: 11:03

paint a word picture for me.

Rachel: 11:05

Thank you. Thank you. Are you winking or having a stroke?

Margie: 11:14

It's an attempt to awake, but it might be a symptom? Yeah. I never do that. Toast scene one scene one.

Rachel: 11:26

Tommy, who's Catholic priest. And also like, he's really attractive, but he's a priest. So he's like, women hit on him all the time. But it's like now sorry, I'm a young father. I can't do this. And I do also

Margie: 11:37

love that because it's not like write him falling into temptation thing like knows he like a good person. And I think it makes him still even almost a more interesting character.

Rachel: 11:50

Well, I mean, he really cares about it, which you'll see in a second. So Tommy is hearing confessional in place of another priest he is visiting and another in another parish, and he offered to hear confessional for the priest who was there. Because he knows he's an older gentleman, the AC went out in this church and he's like, hey, it's too hot in this booth. Let me do it for you. Because I know you're old. It's gonna hurt. You know, let me help. He also has cancer. That's important, Tommy. Yeah, Tommy? Do the characters are great. So he's hearing convention, it's really hot in there. He doesn't want to be there. But he's like, doing it for my friend. Like it's fine. And nobody's showing up. And it's like the really old fashion method. No, I'm not. I'm not Catholic. Marty. You I am. So I might defer to you. Yeah, sure. So he they do the very old fashioned way of hearing confessional where it's a booth, right? That whole thing.

Margie: 12:43

It's not really old fashioned, though. Okay, still like people. We sound like still do it. Alright, so

Rachel: 12:49

he's here in confession. It's really hot. He doesn't want to be there. And towards the end of confession, like he's like, it's like, it's 10 minutes. I'm gonna call it and someone walks in. Right? So they walk in. And he sits down in the confessional booth. And he goes, he does the whole like, Forgive me father price and the whole thing whatever years, right? Well, but he says, the last person I went to confession with did not given the app solution. Will you give me absolution? Because he says Forgive me father for I will sin. And he's like, What do you mean? Turns out, long story short, this dude has killed before will kill again. Will kill his sister. loron.

Margie: 13:37

Wait, the pre sister? Yes. Pre sister.

Rachel: 13:40

Tells him Go ahead. Call your friend Nicholas bukan and using the FBI. Oh, I know you will. And he's like, and to his credit throughout this entire thing. Tommy is like, I cannot tell anybody about this. This is confession. I cannot tell anybody. He's like, don't worry about it. I've been recording it this whole time. I'm gonna send it the police. It'll be out there.

Margie: 14:03

Wait The Killers? Oh,

Rachel: 14:06

and I'm so sure. I know. So Nick. So Tommy freaks out. He's like, you're gonna kill my sister. So he goes out of the booth trying to confront this guy. And they do cold clocks him and knocks him out. So can't see. So he basically

Margie: 14:20

just does it just to like, justify a higher level like,

Rachel: 14:23

we're talking like, Zodiac Killer level of sending letters to the police. So that's our opening scene. Oh, she gets real fast. Right.

Margie: 14:33

I'm so into this book already.

Rachel: 14:36

Really good. Oh,

Margie: 14:38

my God. scene

Rachel: 14:39

number two. So Nick is Nick Buchanan, Tommy's friend. FBI agent works in the finding kidnapped, you know, children Missing Children Division. He is coming up with a mission where he's killed a lady who is holding a kid hostage. So I mentioned that a little bit before. So his boss Pete, who is a psychologist and is in charge of everything. Buddy, who's in his little group. He's like, hey, take a month off. You're starting to burn out like he's specifically hunted down, sits down has a psychoanalysts like session with him is like how did you feel when you do this? He's like, honestly, it felt good. He was she was holding a kid like this is important. Like, it's good to kill her. Like it was very real, which I appreciated. She was like, hey, and it's also good to do that lie. Yeah, like, oh, and

Margie: 15:24

say like, No, I feel guilty and horrible.

Rachel: 15:27

Obviously gives a shit about us. Yes, right. So he tells him take a month off. So Nick decides, Okay, I'm gonna fly home to Boston, then maybe I'll fly out to I think it's like, it's like Iowa or somewhere this family is and see his family who hasn't seen in a long time. Alright, fair. He found out that Nick. It's flying. Dude who can hold a gun to the people who are holding kids hostage has a phobia of

Margie: 15:53

flying. Honestly, Dean Winchester is afraid of flying. So he fucking

Rachel: 15:57

hates it is Hello, Betsy. So I should also mention this entire book is like early 2000s. So the internet is a relatively new thing. Cell phones was relatively new thing right? That time? So I'm sure was so this was published in July 2000. Oh, yeah, sir.

Margie: 16:17

Pretty, right. The fact that it's like held up. That's 19 years.

Rachel: 16:22

Oh, god. Yeah. There's Jesus Christ. So cell phones aren't a thing. The internet is relatively new. Yeah, that's important. Yes. So he makes a basket back to Boston and starts planning his trip. So we'll cut to Lauren. Lauren is really worried about her brother. So every three months or so he gets tested on to make sure the cancer that he has, does not has not spread and he doesn't need more chemo, right? She has not had family for most of her life because she's lived by herself in a convent in France. So all of a sudden, she has this brother who is going through chemo and has cancer, and she's like, I'm gonna lose him. So every three months on Friday night, he calls her with the results. He hasn't called her yet. Oh, she's freaking out. Yeah, she lives in a small town called holy oaks. And she is going to drive down to where he's staying with his in a different parish, right? To make sure everything's okay. She's like, something's wrong. He's keeping it from me. I'm going to drive down and confront him about it. So she drives down to see him. No one knows the results yet, right. So she drives down she gets lost because again, no cell phones, she's using a map, she finds her wisely.

Margie: 17:31

Probably a good time to be lost and not know where you've been where you are. Right?

Rachel: 17:35

So she makes down there just fine. And she drives with the church. She gets uptown changes into her Sunday best and and she drives to the church raise that which isn't not a great part of town. And in all of this, we find out so so far, this entire process, nobody has any idea where she is. No one knows good because she went down to see them right, though from what that killer said. I'm kind of glad Well, that's a promise Tommy knows that someone's after her. Yeah, it doesn't know where she is. Oh, right. So known her for she is so she shows up at the church. And she sees Tommy as everyone's leaving the church. So he's Tommy sees the priests that he's with and sees another dude who she thinks is hella hot. He's really hard. Not in like a normal sexy way. But in like a very, like earthy kind of like, just a sexy way. Right? Exactly how I would think someone sexy.

Margie: 18:31

Down duck bird,

Rachel: 18:32

right? Um,

Margie: 18:33

give me that Jason Momoa crabs.

Rachel: 18:37

So the person who's really sexy nudges Tom and points at her. And Tom is like, Oh my God, you're okay. So he gives her huge hugs. Oh, hey, by the way, this is my child. She knows Nick from Tommy being childhood friends with him. Right? So Tommy actually grew up with Nick's family. When their parents died. When their parents died, Tommy went to live with Nick. So he's lived with Nick most of his life. So they're really close. Laurent never actually met him though. So she meets him thinks he's hot and finds out. They bring her inside. She learned someone trying to kill her. Right?

Margie: 19:14

Good. At least they tell her a lot of other romance novels.

Rachel: 19:19

Oh my god. So that was one thing is he specifically she says down she's like, tell me everything. You know, they're like, this is important to me. I need to know and he's like, all right. Tell her everything. Love it. Right. Love it. Great. Okay. So while they're telling her everything is going on it Nick brings a friend on who's again, kind of part of the apostles, his group that he's in to help protect Tommy. So his friend Noah is going to protect Tommy, Nick's gonna protect Lauren, right? So Nick takes her to a hotel overnight, just to stay and he's like, making her feel actually really comfortable every time she might feel awkward. He's like, are you feeling a little awkward? It's fine. Like it's cool. Which is funny because is jumping back and forth between her and him. And every time it cuts to him, like she comes out of the shower wearing like a long t shirt like asleeping T Yeah, right, right. And she's like, Oh, well, he just like glanced at me and looks back at the TV. It's fine. Like, she feels really comfortable. Yeah, he on the other end jumps to him. She's like, he's like, honestly, if you asked me to tell you what was on the TV right now I know. Oh, my God, honestly.

Margie: 20:25

Okay, so I'm sorry. We're gonna bring up the book for two weeks ago, at least and similar things happen. But it's kind of like, all we're hearing about is this deck. Like this.

Rachel: 20:36

About glanced at her for two seconds, right? It's fine and went back. But internally, he's like, a

Margie: 20:45

trouble, right, exactly. I love

Rachel: 20:50

that we picked both of these books without having any idea what the other person was doing. And

Margie: 20:53

yet no

Rachel: 20:55

one. All right, so they go to a hotel, like I said, um, and he's making her feel like super comfortable. Like he's being so sweet. It's kind of awesome. It's funny, because they're literally in the honeymoon suite, because it's the only room that I had available. And like, he's like, specifically making fun of the fact that there's like roses on the bed. And he has like glass dome and like, that's Venus. But he's being like, a big brother type character. Right, right. Really, really sweet and like, wholesome. So next day, Nick's boss, Pete, because remember, Nick's vizpin vacation. So he calls his paws about the boss about this whole thing. And his boss shows up because he's like, okay,

Margie: 21:36

his boss, though, not being facile and be like, You shouldn't be working.

Rachel: 21:40

His boss is awesome. And his boss specifically tells him like, hey, maybe you're a little bit too close to this whole thing. But Tommy's like, no, Nick needs to be part of this. Like I trust Nick. And plus, it will also like

Margie: 21:52

what now they know about it. Tommy is directly involved, like, exactly. And Nick is also not if Nick isn't an asshole who,

Rachel: 22:01

right? Yeah, yeah, here we go. This is where we relate back to two weeks ago. Um, Laura, who, by the way, this entire time next time telling her everything that's happening, good. And she's like, not backing down. She's She's terrified. But she's not going to sit down and be a victim. Right her thing, because this dude just killed before he will kill again and she's gonna she's not gonna Well, she's

Margie: 22:28

not gonna sit back and let it happen to her is more I think what we want to say

Rachel: 22:32

exactly. So she's like, Okay, fine. Let's think about this. Dude has an ego. Obviously, his big thing is he's better than the FBI. Right? Mm hmm. Let's use that against him. She's like, I want to use myself as bait. Oh, what

Margie: 22:47

did we pick? Books that are so similar. This one's so

Rachel: 22:53

much better. Lauren convinces them she's like, use me as bait. I want it to be over with I want to get this over with I don't want to sit there wondering in like, wondering what he's going to do to me. Let's get it over with. And in the process of turning you into room to do this, which Nick is like, No, fuck, no, we're not doing this because Nick thinks she's hot. But at the same time, he's like, she's hot. Oh my god. She's my best friend, sister. I can't do this.

Margie: 23:20

Though.

Rachel: 23:23

So he's like, she convinces is trying to convince Pete and Nick that this needs to happen. She hasn't even told her brother yet. But she's like this needs to happen. And in the process of doing this, someone calls the church. And they're like, let it ring three times, right? Because again, early 2000s. We want to trace this call. Oh, she'll ring three times she answers it. It's the heartbreaker. As he calls himself. He calls himself the heartbreaker. And she's he's trying to intimidate her. And so Nick immediately runs to the phone when they find out who it is and like tries to take it from her. And she screams in their phone come and get me you pitch like basically paraphrasing, but she's like, come on. You're a bitch. Like, she's so good.

Margie: 24:10

I'm gonna guess that Nick doesn't take that very well. He

Rachel: 24:13

loses his shit. Yeah. So they, they in love and Pete agrees with her in that the Boss Boss. Okay, she convinces him she's like the best way to appeal to this killer's ego. Just have me and Nick. Pretend to be a couple and in a relationship, because obviously he thinks she's perfect.

Margie: 24:33

Quote, prints hand.

Rachel: 24:36

She wants to groom her to be his creepiest shit. Oh, God, I know. I'm

Margie: 24:48

so sorry. I'm so sorry. It's important. It's awesome. I love to go I know it by noise. It's

Rachel: 24:53

fine. It's fine. Okay, I'm gonna decide that basically they're going to try to play into his ego so they're gonna be like Well, we obviously have fallen in love instantly over this weekend, like, no one's gonna believe that doesn't matter. His ego is so big but

Margie: 25:09

but it's true.

Rachel: 25:10

Not yet. Okay? They don't both of them are denying that, okay, okay, but there's like spark their Spark, okay? Okay, but they're like, we're gonna pretend because it's gonna make him mad. And we're gonna keep telling everybody that yeah, this happened like he threatened her but it was totally the FBI decided that it was someone that didn't matter. He was totally incompetent, like it was fine and like, play up the fact that he's not anything, right. They're messing with him. So that's what they decide to do. So they head back to Holyoke, which is her town, where they both live. And they go on a flight and like, the entire flight is like Lauren's like, Oh my God, he's still mad at me. He's not talking to me. This is dumb, and like yada yet and then like, she looks at me, like, Okay, you're being a child. What are you doing? You're not talking to me. This is dumb. We need to talk. Yeah, he's like, No, he's like, Yo, I'm not talking usually. Are you? Okay? And he's like, Fine. Are you afraid of flying? Oh, yes. It's actually really cute. And she's like, trying not to laugh but also like, like, big FBI man, like, is so afraid of flying.

Margie: 26:21

That's really adorable.

Rachel: 26:23

Alright, scene five. Um, okay, so they go back to Hollyoaks and the FBI agents, agents that are currently assigned and only folks that have been assigned to this case. They go through her house, and they find a camera. And there's a camera that is facing her bed. And watching her sleep. Right? Crazy.

Margie: 26:42

Edward Colin shit.

Rachel: 26:44

I love true crime. And this is exactly what I would expect from a true crime podcast. It's so good. So Nick and Laurent Meet The Neighbors. Do you remember about a month ago, we had an episode that you did? Where we had Fe we have another fe. So we have messaging her sister. Who are her neighbors very small town very like are they sisters? Yes, they are. Oh, they're sisters. But so they

Margie: 27:14

have to be lesbian

Rachel: 27:15

now, but they're super cute and like really old lady like looking out for Laurent and like, we'd love her. She's great. She's our neighbor like that kind of deal. So they roll up and they meet them. And they invite them to dinner because she says love Ron, her very handsome friend.

Margie: 27:33

I love them all it said D oh my god, the

Rachel: 27:38

funniest shit because he like, basically Nick's idea is okay, I need to spread this idea that we're lovers. And also there's this dude who's attacking her who is completely incompetent. So his his motivation is these people are going to gossip because they're old ladies, right? So he tried air though, right? He tries to like throw that at them. And after they're in the middle of dinner, we'll towards the end of dinner. They're like, so where are you staying neck who's like, I'm gonna stay with Iran and they immediately stop. And then look at him. And they're like, and he's like, What should I do? And they're like, people are going to talk. And he's like, Oh, no, and like, he's like, Oh, God, they're gonna judge us and he's there. Like, people are gonna talk anyway. Like, what are you saying, Bessie? Gene? We're just saying, practice safe sex.

Margie: 28:27

I love Oh, my God, it's like Golden Girls. Oh, my God. We're gonna be super judgy people and they're just like, No, get it. So

Rachel: 28:43

did I. It's great. Um, so they go back to her house to Lauren's house, and she's like, super upset. She's like, I don't want to go home. Like there's a camera pointing at my bedroom. Yeah, who?

Margie: 28:54

Fucking blame her right?

Rachel: 28:57

So they go in and there's she walks in and there's another FBI agent there. Mm hmm. I know. It's a good book. But she knew she's like, Nick warned her. There's going to be FBI agents in her house and the entire time basically. So there's another FBI agent there that's been monitoring the camera, and there's a storm rolling in. So the FBI agent basically tells her he's like okay, here's what's gonna happen. We're going to try to instigate this killer because we want him to be baited right so this with a storm what we're going to pretend is I'm going to go in the basement play with the breakers and make it seem like we're having a brownout so the lights are going on and off, they're gonna be flickering. And then I'm going to shut off the camera. I'm going to shove the breaker to the camera. So our killer will think that something in the storm fried the camera, right that's we're gonna do Oh, before we throw the camera. I need him to think that you and Nick are getting hit on. I know right? So he's in the basement flicking the lights? And Nick's like Alright, are you sure you're okay with this? Like we're gonna have to really sell it like his exact clothes, we're gonna have to get hot and heavy and they're like, I want to make sure you're okay with this. She's like, Yeah, I can do this fine. You want me to act all act. And so they are quite convincing about the whole thing

Margie: 30:14

and convincing or getting it out?

Rachel: 30:20

cede six. So they are back in Hollyoaks. And they have established a routine that they're going to be doing every day. It's mostly for Nick to be able to take care of like, keep an eye on the road, right? Wrong. Little Ron got it. So part of their routine, they wake up. Are you ready for this? Yes, it's the first time we've ever had a woman workout. She runs. I'm so proud of her. She's a model. She runs. And she's a model that runs to stay in shape. And running is her she loves it. She loves it just to relax.

Margie: 30:59

I love it. Right? Love it.

Rachel: 31:01

So they wake up at 630 Go for a run every morning. Okay, okay. He hates it. He's like, she's like, I'm gonna go for a run. And he's like, Alright, I'm gonna go with you. But it's bad for your knees. I'm gonna complain every time she's like, can you light? Well, she's like, can you go for this long run? Like, are you gonna be able to do it? He's like, Yeah, I could do it. But I'm gonna bitch the whole time. So they get up in the morning to go for a run. There's a bunch of high schoolers, so apparently show up and like, let's run together, like part of the track team. Just because she's hot. Let's be honest. And Nick is like, you know, though, why they're running with you. Right? She's like, well, just because they want to run in body. And he's like, No, I was that age at one point. I know what this was. So my god, he goes running with her. Yeah. And she's like, in the middle of it. She's the quiet. You know, for someone who hates running, you're keeping up or like, right, and he's like, I run every morning. And she's like, but you told me that is bad for your knees. And you're gonna bitch about just like, yeah, it still is. But I run every morning. Dudes. Great. All right, Nick. He's awesome. So the governor run. Um, and then after that, they

Margie: 32:16

see, I'm waiting for the sexy time we get

Rachel: 32:19

in there. Okay, so they started their routine spreading info the next day. Right? So they are walking around town. He's she's introducing him to everybody because it's a small town, right and telling everybody about this whole thing or someone threatened her but he's totally incompetent. The FBI thinks that he's not worth it. And I should mention, because this matters. So without this whole thing. So the thing with Holyoke is there is a Catholic church there. That is it's coming up on their centennial. Oh, right. So they have been doing renovations in the church. People in from out of town get in the city. But they're getting the church ready. So for the big centennial celebration, and they have people out of town, like helping with the preparations and everything. So that's important. Okay. So they're spreading information. And they go and find an engagement ring. No, and he buys one, because they have to sell it right.

Margie: 33:21

To sell it that far. Oh,

Rachel: 33:23

they do. He's rich. So and here's the best part is the lady at the jewelry store is like I'm gonna give you an extended return policy Betsy.

Margie: 33:39

My God,

Rachel: 33:40

but she the lady at the jewelry store pulls Laurent aside and is like, Hey, I'm gonna give you an extended return to return policy because you have kind of a reputation with men in the town. Oh, sir. She gives her lesson and extended return policy. Oh, and Nick's dying. He's laughing so hard at all of this. He's like, No, I just bought the ring. It's fine. It's great. It's funny. Scene seven. They go out to dinner with Tommy and Noah. So remember, Noah is Nick's friend and has been taking care of Tommy making sure Tommy's Okay, basically body gardening for Tommy right. So what they did was they stayed in the place where Tommy was with his in the other parish that he was helping out with. And they took the Ross car took it to and really needed fixed like it was falling apart. And they drove it back after effects. Right. So they didn't show up until a couple days later. It should be mentioned that and this is something that Tommy doesn't know. Laurent should be rich. So our parents loved her trust fund that she could access when she was 21. When she was 21. She found out that the lawyers that were taking care of it were basically skimming off the top. They took almost everything from her. So what she did was she went around Europe and until She found an attorney that would help her. Okay. And it was one person who was like, like, no one would take the case. And she finally found one person. So she's been going through this lawsuit for years trying to figure out and she's really close to winning really was. So she's driving an old beater car and like lives in a really cheap house and all the stuff and Tommy has no idea. Does this happen? Anything? She's still rich, right? Yeah. Oh, her degree is in our history. And she paints like that's her background. She's so cute. So they drive back and once they get back, they're like, Okay, we're gonna go to dinner and celebrate her engagement with me. And so, I find it funny that this is important to her. She gets super dolled up she wears, quote, unquote, the dress, which is like a black, a little black dress kind of deal. Yeah. Does her makeup curls or hair have that dress? And everyone does. And Nick looks at her for like three seconds and looks away. But again, internally, he's like ocean ocean ocean ocean. She's really hot. Oh my god, like, oh, actually really cute. So they get to dinner. It's a whole thing. And we also meet a dude in Lonnie. Lonnie, is the sheriff son, sheriff is like kind of overweight and super corrupt. So this is a subplot that's happening though. I can't explain a little bit now. So Laurent is trying to open a shop in the little little downtown square. And they're actually pretty close to a college. So they're trying to use college like uses Town Square and like the bookstore in it and like make it like, you know, a town square for small town, right? Well, this dude named Steve, Brandon, I think Brandon, Brandon. He is trying to buy it the rest of the square and sell it out to people who are going to make apartments. So he's trying to like basically bulldoze all of these historical homes. She's trying to make the square into something that's great for the community. So we be Lonnie has the share of son sheriff's name was Steve. So Lonnie is a delinquent. Here's a kid who even the sheriff's afraid of which is kind of scared. Like he's scary. He's like, he's my son. But I'm scared of him. Like he's gonna beat me up or whatever. Like, he's a bad kid. And the sheriff always gets out of trouble because he's his son, but he's still afraid of him. Right? So Steve calls the sheriff son is like, hey, I want you to intimidate this Nick Buchanan guy. So they show up outside of this restaurant. They're having a celebratory dinner and he's like, Oh, this Sherif, this your explorer, and he's like, No, don't hurt my car. And so this dude and his friend like key the car, like whatever, I know, all this stuff. And then at the end, I like that sex. Hmm. It's your dad's new car. He just bought a Ford Explorer, which is the same kind of car I have. They fuck with this kit hard. It's great.

Margie: 37:58

Oh my god, I love it. No,

Rachel: 38:01

this is really a good book. I honestly so

Margie: 38:05

Oh, please don't hurt my Ford Explorer. Sitting at the corner of apple with this license plate now.

Rachel: 38:22

So they totally fucked with this kid. And have him end up he ends up like steam and this like sure if are totally against Iran, right, you know, shop that she's trying to open. And so they like totally fuck with his kid. It's pretty great. It's like the biggest justice Boehner it's great love. And so this whole thing happens. They like fuck this kid. This kid's super like, oh my god and the the police officer like the sheriff is like, well, it's my car. I'm not gonna press charges. But it's really obvious. He's super uncomfortable with ride duration. And I only mentioned that because it comes into play later. Okay. So afterwards, we cut to a picnic. About a week later, there is a picnic going on. And is a picnic that has been held by the the father of this church that's been renovated for the one the centennial anniversary, right? And so they throw a picnic for everybody in the town and be like, Hey, thank you so much for helping out making this what it could be like he just wants to thank you to the town. So they're there and honestly, Nick does not want to go he's like, Hey, this is gonna be really difficult for me to keep track of you. Like I keep an eye on you. This is gonna be tough. And he doesn't want to go but Lauren's like we have to, we have to show our face like this is important. It's a small town. We're involved in it. So they show up and there's like a fan there and taking requests from the audience and all this stuff. And it's actually going pretty well into the last song of the night. And next, like alright, let's dance. They've been dancing this whole time and like being cute, honestly, it's really cute. They're dancing and then like Okay, last song of the night. You know, it's called, I only have eyes for you like that song dedicated to Iran from the heartbreaker.

Margie: 40:07

Oh,

Rachel: 40:09

who's there watching this?

Margie: 40:11

Oh my god. Oh, I was like waiting for you to say from Nick No just means like how much I'm invested in the relationship was so caught up in this plot

Rachel: 40:24

I know. Okay, so we are in the last two scenes of this. Oh my God we're getting. So this entire time the Ron Smith friend is getting married. And Laurent is her maid of honor. Right? So she's been like going through like trying to help with this all while this whole thing is going on. And her best friend is still she does not know she knows Nick is FBI. But she thinks that Lauren is like, in love with him and all this. They're gonna get married and all this stuff. So there is the rehearsal dinner, right? So they both go. And Michelle's like, her friend is like, you don't look that good. Like you should go home because she's super stressed out about all of this. Obviously, like someone's trying to kill her right? She's freaking out. She's like, you need to go home, relax. It's fine. Don't worry about it. I want you to be good for tomorrow. So she sends her home. And Ron is super stressed out, right? So they're home. They're relaxing, it's fine. But they have all the lights off. No one knows their home. So all of a sudden someone comes into our house and breaks in to fix the camera. Huh, right. So it's very obvious. Well, turns out Steve Brenner. The dude who's trying to buy all the places in the square has been telling everybody in town that he's gonna marry Iran. Why she doesn't know. She'll I know. creepy, right? He's breaking into a house to fix this camera.

Margie: 41:54

He's not the heartbreaker. I see.

Rachel: 41:57

So he breaks into our house. And in the process of him trying to fix the camera, Nick and the other FBI agent that are there. They were able to capture. Right, right. Yeah, no, like, we got him. This is the guy. And it's not like they put Laurent in the bathroom. And she's like in the bathroom. And she sees like there's like a laser light, right? type deal. Oh, that's like trying to search the bathroom for people. And she runs out of the bathroom. She's able to get away. It's process. Lonnie, the sheriff's kid who trashed the car tried to stretch guard comes in, and basically come into arson. So he douses gasoline all over her bedroom and lights at her house on fire. Right. So the house is on fire. They both get out. They all get out. It's great. It's fine. They're able to catch Steve. And the FBI agent that has been assigned to the case who's not Pete who's not next boss is like this is it? This is the guy we did it. We're great. This is good. And Nick's like No, something is wrong. Yeah, my gut is telling me something is fucking wrong. So he takes neuron and he's like, we're getting out of here. Something's wrong. But she's like, he she doesn't realize how much Nick is like, something's wrong. Because Nick calls Pete his boss is like, Hey, I think something's wrong. And Pete's like, you know, I think you might be too invested in this. Like, you might be too close to it with her friends. Like all this stuff. Like, obviously, the feelings for Iran. Like I think something's wrong. And next, like No, I swear, my guts telling me something's wrong. So they leave. He takes her to a motel, two bedroom or two beds, like all this thing. Like, it's fine. So they go to this motel, and they lay down and they're about to go to bed. And Nick's like, Hey, she looks concerned, like, what are you thinking about? She's thinking about how I'm gonna seduce you. And he's like, he has this look of horror on his face. Like, right? Yeah, I mean, like, I like you. I was thinking about how he's gonna seduce you and he's panicking. He's like, Okay, so here's what's happening. Obviously, there's been a lot of things going on a lot of adrenaline. I'm mistaking this adrenaline for your love for me. Like this isn't she's like, No, don't be an idiot. You're an idiot. No, I know what's going on. I'm fully capable of understanding this. I love you. Like, I think I love you. And he's like, freaks out. And she's like, starts crying. She's like, Are you offended by me? Like, what's going on? And he comes up, he's like, no, no, no, and then they totally get again. Oh, yay. And I will be the first to say, it's not the sexiest of sex scenes. But it's hella satisfying. Totally different. And these specifically intelligent like no regrets, like we're aware of what's going on no regrets. Well, he has written Brett's Oh, he wakes up in the morning and he's like, Oh my God, that's my best friend's sister. Oh my god. That's my best friend's sister.

Margie: 45:10

It's happened before your tits down.

Rachel: 45:15

She's like, Dude, I get it. Yeah, I like you. I was the one that Instagram right? It's fine. Yeah, spring he's like, I'm gonna tell him Tommy I'm gonna tell him she's like No, he's, he's like she's he's gonna find out. Tommy's gonna No, no.

Margie: 45:29

What do you think she came out? She's like, I can smell the same.

Rachel: 45:38

He's not gonna find out. It's fine. So they go to the wedding the next day? Yes, his wedding still. Right. Um, and so in the middle of this whole wedding and we're almost to the end here.

Margie: 45:51

I want to know who the heartbreaker

Rachel: 45:54

getting there. So in the mean, no, it's not P O in the middle of his whole wedding. There in the middle of the wedding. And Nick is still his entire time like something is wrong. Something is totally wrong. And Michelle brew Nope. Oh shell who remember is Lauren's best friend is like her dad. He's been trying to remember everything for this wedding. He's trying to like keep everything going good. Making sure everything's running smoothly. All this stuff. He's like, Oh my God. I forgot I forgot to pick up St. Jean. Rose neighbors. Oh, Bessie Jean, her sister. He's like I forgot to do that. Oh my god. They're about to walk down the aisle. Oh, my God freaking out. Right. So Nick, you need to go pick them up. He's like, I don't really want to like I need to keep an eye on rising. Oh, I have to do this. Oh,

Margie: 46:42

no, no, don't leave Laurent.

Rachel: 46:44

I will said this. Michelle's father. So Laura's best friend's father. I should also mention, do you remember Noah? He is pretending to be a pastor. With Tommy track of today? Yes. Because he's his bodyguard. Bribery, right. He's up there. So he's at least there so Tommy's like okay, no, was there? Yeah, but

Margie: 47:05

nowhere would be Hello sketchy?

Rachel: 47:07

No, no, it's not definitely not. Okay. Okay. Um, so Nick's like, Okay, fine. So he like speeds away like goes over a curb to get out of the parking lot like, runs. It'll be 10 minutes tops.

Margie: 47:19

Oh, the Uber didn't exist.

Rachel: 47:21

No, didn't say rides to their house, picks them up in the process of picking up they're like, Well, we've already missed her walking down the aisle. So what's the point you're rushing and like, you know, as old ladies do, right? Oh, hey, so you know how the workers that are working on the church are living across the street from loron. Here. They really helped me when my dog died. And they helped me pick up the flowers that I thought was, you know, in my yard that died. Will you take them this cake that I baked them? So my eyes are so wide now? Fine, okay, fine. It will make you move faster. So he runs across the street, this house and like goes inside to deliver this cake. And as soon as it gets in the house in the kitchen, he stops. He's like, I remember this. And the kitchen is exactly the same way as the lady that he shot. Do you remember the lady who was holding the kid hostage? Right that he shot right? Yeah, this lady had a kitchen who smelled like ammonia and vinegar cleaning supplies. Right? Yeah. With pink Pepto Bismol on the counter on the table. And hot sauce. Kitchens is exactly the same. And he stops and he's like

Margie: 48:32

oh my god, that's so great.

Rachel: 48:34

It's her husband. Who they never caught. Oh my god.

Margie: 48:39

So So is it just holy coincidence Batman?

Rachel: 48:43

No this dude that for Nick. What then why did he go after Lauren's? Because he knew that Tommy was Nick's best friend. Tommy sister is a whole thing about Nick. Yes. So the entire time I'm sitting there animal reading. I'm like, Okay, I know this guy's the bad guy. But I don't know how. Yeah. And when this all happened, I was like, oh my god, so good. It was so well done. So he Sprint's back to the church, he drives his fastest right to church, in the process of all this in the middle of the ceremony because this is a wedding right? Tommy bends down under the altar and notices a bomb. So our friend, the killer heartbreak

Margie: 49:28

eyes are so wide. I know a heartbreaker

Rachel: 49:31

is currently in the balcony. And his excuse for being in the balcony was oh, they wanted another camera man. So I'm gonna be out there with a camera. Fuck off. Haha. He has a rifle. And he's planted a bomb in the church. So he's like, how am I gonna kill? So his thing is he's like he's freaking out because like Nick's not here. Nick left. Why did he leave? I want him to watch his best friend his best friend's sister die like I need to see this.

Margie: 49:56

God he's so extra. It's fucking

Rachel: 49:59

Oh He's freaking out. And also Nick shows up again. He's like, Oh, thank God. So he goes to start shooting, and they managed to get everyone out of the church. preps does Tommy thing. Yes, Tommy? Tommy's like, hey, the group is a surprise. Everyone leave the church now. Right?

Margie: 50:18

I love Tommy is so good, so fresh.

Rachel: 50:22

So he gets everyone out of the church and everyone's freaking out because awesome shots are firing. No one gets shot. Laurent get shot. Oh, no. And Nick is free. And Nick's like shooting back of the dune, like trying to like make him create cover and all the stuff and so everyone gets out of the church and Ross has a church. She doesn't quite realize she's been shot. Shot the leg. Okay, she doesn't realize it. So like, great. I know. And someone kind of like lurches towards it. And someone she knows. And she he's like, Hey, Lauren, like, I think I've been shot like something's wrong. And she's like, Oh, my God, are you okay? And she stops and she's like, Wait, Nick told me not to trust anyone. Nick's not here right now and looks at this dude and notices something wrong. Still grabs her. knocks her upside the head. Sir. Kidnapping, okay. And it's not within the last 20 minutes of the book. No. Okay. I know, right? He gets her in her van in his van. I know. So she is unconscious at this point. And she kind of wakes up in the middle of her being in the back of the van and the students super cool and calculating. So he has a plan for everything. And this is not to plan A, B, C, D or F like any of them. He's freaking out a little bit. So he's trying to sprint away in his van. Without anyone following him. Nick's following him.

Margie: 51:45

Yes,

Rachel: 51:46

I know. So he follows him all the way to this cabin where he's like, Okay, I I'm not gonna have time to really do what I want with her. But I'm going to make our screens and Nikki here before I kill her kids into this cabin on a lake and gets her basically inside. And she's like, conscious at this point. But she is like trying to pretend she's not. Yeah, like I can't like he's gonna know like, Yeah. And she's sitting there and he's like, he kicks the door open, gets her inside and he's holding a knife to her throat and a gun. And she can't see Nick outside.

Margie: 52:23

She's like, she can't see him.

Rachel: 52:25

She's like, Oh, you were too fast for him. Like you didn't get him and everything because she knows Nick has clothed in an upstairs window. Nick gotten himself into the house. So did you know that she sees his shadow? She's trying to get heartbreaker to talk and distract him. Right. Okay. She was just talking to him to try and get him to talk and eventually, after telling basically, I mean, holy exposition, Batman, Ryan, okay. She gets him or he notices he notices Nick. So he pulls his gun on Nick is like, hey, get away like whatever and they're talking to him. They're trying to get him like instigate like get a man like play against ego and they managed to do it so that he has his knife away from Iran. Finally, finally, because he's been actually like hurting her gets his knife away from Iran. And Nick is trying to get to a point where he can shoot him hasn't gotten to that point yet. And Lauren's like fuck this shit. And she stands up and has a safety pin her hand in jabs it into the dude's eyes

Margie: 53:28

oh, my

Rachel: 53:30

new you're gonna expect that? No, he's straight up James a safety pin into this dude's eye. Oh, mine. Immediately after she does that Nick's able to jump off this balcony and shoot him in the face and kills him.

Margie: 53:42

Yeah.

Rachel: 53:47

Oh, good. Yes, Queen was so we're getting into the epilogue. Okay, so he's able to save the ROM. Yay. They get an actually mentioned and I don't know if I did a good enough job. Kind of explaining it. Steve, you can herb Steve Brennan has been taken to jail. Okay, he is an asshole. Total dick. He's gone. Good. This dude. Totally different was actually after Nick. But went through Tommy and Laurent in order to get to him because Tommy Laurent grew up with Nick and I knew him from a childhood. Right. Right. So cue Nick. gets everyone to the hospital. No has been shot. He's gonna Okay. He's been shot. Okay, homies. Fine. Okay, good. Good. Laurent is struggling a little bit. And so Hey, Nick, and that surgeon are like, going head to head like, she needs help. And he's like, she's gonna be fine. It's fine. No, she needs help. She's

Margie: 54:43

struggling a little bit. He's

Rachel: 54:45

freaking out. Nick is freaking out. And Laurent is sitting there and he like the doctor like stitches up her arm. She's okay. And also with her leg. She's like, I think I need a bandaid on my leg. And he's like, Well, let's take a look and Looks like you'd hit a little more than a bandaid.

Margie: 55:03

Oh, adrenaline is bad.

Rachel: 55:06

And I should mention and this means a lot to me, a gun is fired near Lauren's head, and they make a specific point of it makes her ears rang. And like real life physics, oh, it's important to me. Okay, so she's like, a hopped up on adrenaline. Okay, and this doctor is like, Yeah, and so the doctor goes and tells Tommy and Nick and Nick freaks

Margie: 55:31

out. This was a fucking hospital. She was shot. freaks out. I mean, honestly, true, though. Like, how do you see that through a dress? How did you see the blood on the floor? Like, so many things like we're in the leg to top right, bottom.

Rachel: 55:48

All right, bottom calf. We're gonna We're adrenaline. She was limping this entire time. Okay, but no one's really noticed. Okay, so we're about to get to my favorite part of this entire book. Okay, are you ready for this shit? God damn. Adorable. Okay. Okay. So, afterwards, Nick is like, I can't do this. You're my best friend's sister. Like, this is really shitty of me. I can't do this. I need to leave. And I'm ready. When Lauren was coming out of anesthesia from surgery from getting her like leg worked on with the bullet. Dick was at the entire time. And she's like holding his hand. She freaks out if he's not there. And she's like, did you tell Tommy that we slept together? And he's like, No, but we just did Tommy's right. i

Margie: 56:41

Oh, my God.

Rachel: 56:44

Serious. So afterwards Nick's like, again, he's like, I can't do this. Like, you're my best friend's sister. Like, this is not okay for me to do. You're basically my little sister. This is weird. And he leaves her. He gives her handshake. And he leaves

Margie: 56:57

once.

Rachel: 57:00

And we cut to Tommy and Noah who've become best friends during all of this. And they're talking. And they're talking about Laurent and Nick. And I wanted me to hey, it's actually really great. So that lawsuit that Iran was part of to see if she could get the money back that was stolen from her family. She won. She won this lawsuit, which is great. She had to fly to Paris to sign the papers. And no was like, oh, so what about Nick just like, well, he didn't know that she went to Paris. And no was like, well, but what happened? Like I thought he really loved her. And it's like, yeah, he made it to about Des Moines, Iowa before he turned around and came back and decided that he needed to tell her that she loved that he loved her. But she was gone. Because she went to Paris. Wait, wait. And he's like, Well, what did you tell him? Well, I told him that she moved to Paris. She didn't move to Paris. She just visit she's just visiting. Yeah, but I told him and he's like, Father, did you just tell a lie? He's like, I guess I did.

Margie: 58:06

I love this. Much. The dad being the like, I love her brother, brother. Well, also.

Rachel: 58:20

So we cut to Lauren Ronson, a hotel in Paris. She just won her lawsuit. She signed the paperwork. All of her money back. She's rich again. Yeah. And she's crying her eyes. And she calls her best friend Michelle, who again just got married. It was like Hey, like he left me like I'm so upset. She's like, I fell in love with them almost overnight. Like obviously maybe I can get over again like this rocks but whatever. And she orders room service and she's hanging out because not going to doors opens the door. And it's Nick. She is just so stunned and she looks like what? And his response is did you ever lock the door? I didn't hear you on lock a deadbolt. What the fuck is this? You should have locked the goddamn door.

Margie: 59:10

That's so cute. Honestly forces way

Rachel: 59:13

into the room and he's like, What the fuck? How can you leave me interested? But you left me really? Well. I was dumb. Will you marry me?

Margie: 59:25

Honestly, though, I blame me for this.

Rachel: 59:31

She is she's pissed. And then she has a second which is the wait. Did you cross the Atlantic? Yes. You hate flying. You're paranoid about flying. Did you fly?

Margie: 59:47

Yeah.

Rachel: 59:49

It's okay. We'll take about

Margie: 59:53

your honeymoon. And that's, I'm shuck. I feel like so listeners, we have to do episodes one on top of the audio and we're both so like, for you, but it's only been like two hours for me to time and it's time that time is an illusion.

Rachel: 1:00:15

I am like an entire bottle of wine and an angry orchard and right now and right and I feel healed. I can't believe that we picked such similar, right? It's fucking ridiculous. Raising minds actually, really are just so good. And I'm in the process of reading the second one which is heart isn't as good as this one was still pretty.

Margie: 1:00:36

Why did you get all the good mine?

Rachel: 1:00:38

I will. Fear I'm gonna make a point of finding a fucking awful one to do with you. I'm gonna make it my mission. Let's get to a ratings. Okay,

Margie: 1:00:48

we can actually write this. Yay.

Rachel: 1:00:51

This one was really good. One, lady. She's fucking great. I love her. I can't believe she's like, I'm gonna stab this dude for the fucking safety ban. Fuck this guy. Like she's awesome. Wait, go hire time like she's the one that suggests. Okay, use me as bait, because obviously we need to get through this guy.

Margie: 1:01:10

Yeah, that happened in the last boat too. So I'm a little decision to that. Now. It's fair.

Rachel: 1:01:15

But this one is very like organic. And like, obviously, okay, we're on the same page. You don't like this? I don't either. But it's the best way to do it, like, justify it in a way that it makes sense. Because I'll be honest, I was reading it and my brain thought, hey, this is a trope that's used all the time. But because it's so organically integrated into the plot. It makes total sense. So I'm completely okay with it. As long as it makes sense. It's fine. But if it's a trope that's thrown in just like gratuitously and doesn't like why just has a plot point? That doesn't make sense to me, this will make sense. So I was totally okay with totally on board. So I was fine with that. She has a very interesting background. She's right in a convent. She's like, kind of like, she's a virgin. They don't make a big point of it.

Margie: 1:02:04

I do love it. Care. I love it. How old? How old is she?

Rachel: 1:02:09

They don't ever actually say Okay, love it mid 20s

Margie: 1:02:12

Alright, love it. Love it.

Rachel: 1:02:13

Right? Like it's totally like, the first time they have sex. They just have sex. I love it. There's nothing about breaking a virgin barrier and about the shame what the

Margie: 1:02:25

portal feminine

Rachel: 1:02:26

fuckin should exist. Hey, SAY HAVE SEX great. Like it's totally normal. So I'm honestly gonna say four and a half. What five is super super like above and beyond Rice was really goddamn good. So I'm gonna go four and a half for her four and a half for him. Four and a half for the plot. Because even though

Margie: 1:02:47

for Tommy pride, love Tommy Tommy's presh because even

Rachel: 1:02:50

though they use a lot of the like the tropes they do it in such a good organic and justified way makes sense.

Margie: 1:02:57

Forgive me father for I have sinned. Tommy,

Rachel: 1:03:01

I know. Well, everyone apparently does like the ladies were like, Oh my God, he's so hot. Too bad. He's a pastor and honestly

Margie: 1:03:10

tried to seduce a pastor. You he then but if they promised themselves to this Holy Order and usually seduce them away from like, you're kind of an ass obviously. Even if even if you don't believe in it, and

Rachel: 1:03:24

he's super moral like He's weird. Like, Pastor that's not

Margie: 1:03:27

what you're getting. Except for getting his sister to

Rachel: 1:03:32

Jeffro that is what he's literally playing wing man for Nick. He's like, Hey, I totally understand. You guys have obviously made a bond throughout this entire thing and you care about each other? Yeah.

Margie: 1:03:44

Mister, I know. Hey,

Rachel: 1:03:49

friends and listeners you can't see this. Marty is currently making an okay sign with one hand and taking her index finger of the other hand and putting it in and out repeatedly. Yeah,

Margie: 1:04:02

I've just around the room.

Rachel: 1:04:08

So good. Honestly, though, four and a half for all across the board. Like for him for her for the plot. They're great. I really enjoyed it. I had a really difficult time putting it down. Even the guy at work was like, what do you do? And I'm like, read in. What are you reading

Unknown: 1:04:24

a book that I really like. It's not a romance novel. It's a thriller,

Rachel: 1:04:30

but it totally is. Totally, he's aware. He knows I rant about our podcast all the time. So I really enjoyed it as far as like Adam 10 like zero to 10 entire book. How does everything compare? I'd say a nine

Margie: 1:04:44

sounds amazing. It was really fucking I want to read like another one out of that series like not that

Rachel: 1:04:49

well. I guess that I'm on the second one right now. Honestly, I would recommend reading the first one. I did not I am

Margie: 1:04:56

so excited. I

Rachel: 1:04:57

did not expect to love it that much. But I fucking loved it. It was so good.

Margie: 1:05:02

So when you weren't reading this book, what were you reading? So I

Rachel: 1:05:06

just started a while ago I told you about a reimagination of Sherlock Holmes, which Yes, yes. So I started rereading while rereading, but I started reading the second one in that series called A Scandal in Belgravia, and the reason I Grazia sorry, the reason I started reading it was because so I get these monthly emails from Goodreads saying, hey, like this is what's new, and the final book in the series. The first book is a start A Study in Scarlet women. But I highly recommend if sort of the second one, the final book is out. So I'm working on that one right now. So if you guys have any opinions on this, I know that both of us are pretty solidly for snickered at this point.

Margie: 1:05:53

Where should I record?

Rachel: 1:05:56

You have any like thoughts about how much we drink today or this book compared to the last one? Because since there's similar which is weird to me, yes. So weird. So if you do want to reach out to us, tell us about whatever your thoughts and opinions are. Check us out on Facebook. Textual tension,

Margie: 1:06:12

Twitter, tetrapod Instagram, textual tension, pod, email, textual tension pod@gmail.com. Website textual tension pod.com, which I just recently did, she reads it it does. Real good. So if you

Rachel: 1:06:27

do flexing, right, if you do tweet at us, we will tweet at you got a random quote from a romance novel. Yeah, it completely out of context. It's gonna be great.

Margie: 1:06:36

And it might be spicy.

Rachel: 1:06:40

Oh my god. That was very sensual. I liked that exact. I'm gonna enjoy editing that later. Hey, I got a wink. Alright, so, um, thank you guys so much for listening. And a huge thank you to the artist Elon, near you for the use of her song. Oh, love of the LMB. Oh, it's a great album. It's a great song. So please check it out. And thank you so much for sticking with us. I know. Last week was really tough rough. This one was a really fun palate cleanser. And honestly, I didn't expect to love the book, but I really liked it. It was good. So next time, I promise, I'm going to pick an awful one. Just for merging. Please promise, please. Promise.

Margie: 1:07:24

So if it's good, you need to stop reading it.

Rachel: 1:07:26

Yep, that's our plan. Alright, so much. Thank you guys so much. And you know, reach out to us. We'd love to hear from you. So we will see you again in two weeks. All right. And maybe hopefully if we get a chance to redo it. It'll be impressive. Yeah, we'll see. Alright, so peace out homies. Love ya. Bye.