Hello listeners! We're so glad to have you back! This week tune in as Margie tells Rachel about Kerrelyn Spark's novel The Vampire with the Dragon Tattoo. That's right, we're revisiting the wonderful world of Kerrelyn Sparks novels! In this episode we get into the science of genetics, that good cush demon herb, and vampires, were-tigers, and demons, oh MY!
Hello listeners! We're so glad to have you back! This week tune in as Margie tells Rachel about Kerrelyn Spark's novel The Vampire with the Dragon Tattoo. That's right, we're revisiting the wonderful world of Kerrelyn Sparks novels! In this episode we get into the science of genetics, that good cush demon herb, and vampires, were-tigers, and demons, oh MY!
Hello, and welcome to textual tension. I am Rachel you one of your co hosts. Every other week I jump in here and give you the what's what and lowdown on what's going on in the textual tension world. Basically, our own Marvel Extended Universe. Not a whole lot going on this week. We don't have anyone new on our Patreon, but I still want to say thank you to the people that are on our Patreon. And if you're not, hey, you should check that out. There's all sorts of really cool, extra bonus content that you can have access to. And if I do say so myself, granted, I'm biased, I think it's pretty fucking cool. So check that out at patreon.com/textual tension. Check out our social media. That would be super cool. We are textual tension pod across the board. And hit us up because we love to hear from you guys. We really do. We even have a little bit of a science corner addendum this week. And it's because people reach out and we reach out to other people. So hit us up. We love talking to you guys and hearing from you guys. We think you all are wonderful. And you're our favorite people. So we like to hear from you. The only major thing we have this week as far as news goes and it's not fun news is we missed a trigger in this episode. So fair warning racism is a trigger, which is great the in the sarcastic way. But I think that's about it. And thank you guys for tuning in. Without further ado, here is episode a 37 another boy with another dragon tattoo. Oh, tearing me apart from
Margie:Hello, and welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels podcast. I am your co host, Margie, and I'm your co host Rachel. Every other week one of us reads a romance novel and then summarizes the plot to the other unsuspecting co host this week that goes together we unpack
Rachel:what the fuck just happened.
Margie:So this book in particular, is one where we unpack what the fuck just happened. We have to unpack the entire universe that this book is encapsulating.
Unknown:Yes, it is.
Margie:Just I have oh man, so many thoughts. Just
Rachel:y'all it's the return of Rachel science corner. Yeah.
Margie:I was like messaging. Rachel, I need you to look at this. I do this also just to preface I emailed three genetics labs, asking them to answer my questions. So um, yeah, should I just
Rachel:give me this bad boy over to you shit. Carolyn. This, this pitch
Margie:to me, which is the reason why I picked up Carolyn again. Yeah, we have a problem with Carolyn.
Rachel:No. I've already used the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was one of our episode names. Oh, the girl
Margie:I know. We're gonna say I thought we've we've already you've already read this. I have no.
Rachel:Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, I'm so excited. Oh, you given me a gift. All right. From Carolyn sparks the vampire with the Dragon Tattoo. Oh my god.
Unknown:Wow, I
Margie:really took that name. Because there's also we've definitely I think there's also the Duke with the Dragon Tattoo. Hmm, yeah. They definitely took that name and ran with it. Yeah,
Rachel:I guess and called it. She was asking me about all of these science corners. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, There's hella vampires in this and I was right.
Margie:Well, also you said hello vampires. But you're like this all sounds a lot like this. Yeah.
Rachel:Vampire. Show that. Oh my god.
Unknown:Do they really? Yes.
Rachel:Oh my god. Of course. They mentioned that and that explains why so much of this. Okay. All right. So let's explain this cover. Yeah, we have a full moon. Yeah, very orange. There is a dude shirtless. He does have pants. I can tell his thumbs are hooked into them.
Margie:I'm so surprised he's wearing pants to be same.
Rachel:And there's something like black and misty behind him. Maybe it's a shadow. Maybe it's a tree. I can't tell. And he's Oh, and he has maybe it's his hair. Oh my God,
Unknown:his hair. Very long hair. It's
Rachel:a lot so he is staring up at the sky with his eyes closed and you can get full view on that Adam's apple and there's a dragon tattoo. Why on his chest
Margie:open? Open the front open the cover. Oh yeah.
Rachel:Wow his passion is forbidden His love is eternal. This is like the Fabia. What do we get an inside cover? So the inside cover is the same setting with the moon and some stone wall behind him and the man with the fabulous flowing locks and no shirt. This time he might not be wearing pants and he's holding a woman in a red dress to him who's looking very like bedroom eyes he at his mouth. Everything is staring at his mouth.
Unknown:Wow
Rachel:Wow, okay, all right,
Margie:the back read the back read the back.
Rachel:Oh, good Lord. He's out of control. Irish too
Margie:that's why he was surprised. He was wearing pants because of the book. He always wears a kill
Rachel:you. You have you hit all three of the tropes. Okay, all right. Do go Kincaid has something to prove. After being injured in a battle with the malcontents do I know who those are? Because of the previous book we read? Yes, he's ready for active duty protecting unsuspecting mortals from this villainous from the Ville these villainous vampires who want to rule the world. But first he has to get control of himself. Because just the sight of a certain lovely doctor has his injured hand doing some cute just his hand though. Nothing else, not to mention the sizzling sensation that burns along his dragon tech.
Margie:Let's be honest with it. I totally forgot about the dragon tattoo thing in the book. Like I forgot that that happens and not referenced. It's reference like a couple of times with the weird things happen with his hand.
Rachel:I have questions. Okay. Vampires, vampires. As a scientist. This is gonna be fun. Leah is having trouble believing that these immortal creatures exist. But there they are standing in front of are asking for help in solving a genetic puzzle that can save mankind. There's even one in a sexy kilt. Neat. Just one look at Google's gorgeous green eyes sets her pulse racing But can she trust him and the overwhelming desire that refuses to be ignored? So I have based on your science corners and my knowledge of the previous book. I think I have some context for this book a little Oh you do? You do? Yes. Because like a lot of the vampires were the clothing that they from the era that they returned and yes. And I remember this synthetic blood Yes. And I remember that the way they turned what's her name? Daphne whoever from the previous book they turned her back into a human from a vampire. Sure. Probably using the same method is this is my guess it is What do you mean the genetic like Oh, right. Maybe that I don't know. So I'm very
Margie:not referenced in this book. Okay, that switch back so I don't know what so this book is number 14 in love at stake series.
Rachel:Well, and you'll notice that all of so ours the one I did was called a shit. It had some light it was like something in the city. Vampires in the city. Yeah, and this one is the vampire with the Dragon Tattoo. Yeah, and the other ones are that and show names Yeah,
Margie:and there's a let's see. Eat Pray Love
Rachel:Yes. Pray like PR EY Yeah, I
Margie:think that you it's it's it's an interesting joke to play on. Like on a title I
Rachel:just wanted to go too far.
Margie:It can't go too far. But also Her books are already so crazy. I can seriously and I feel bad because I feel like she worked really hard on these but the names you know the fact they're not good.
Rachel:The names don't help and it's just coming from someone that comes up with a literature pun for every single one of our so
Margie:yeah, yeah yeah, so let's let's let's crack right into this bad boy
Rachel:rigger.
Margie:Oh, right triggers. I mean, like blood sucking. Um, I guess an animal attack technically. Okay. There's not really that kidnapping par for the course or for the course. Let me think there really aren't that many will probably be totally wrong. Okay. But I can't think of any triggers right now. And actually I would call this guy in our boy was very surprised but eliminar boy, to be
Rachel:fair, our other from the previous book. He wasn't our boy as well. Yes. I
Margie:think the only one where he wasn't in our boy was mine. First one.
Unknown:Yeah.
Margie:He was breaking into castle towers. Jesus. Yeah.
Rachel:So, real quick. who gifted you the book?
Margie:Oh, right. Okay. So down in Mexico, right. I was on. I was in Mexico on vacation listeners with my family. And I told my brother Hank, I was like, I just give me romance novels. Just give me romance novels.
Rachel:Did you meet any hunky weapons dealers trying to
Margie:know that I did and I really like should have there would a very occasionally there be a yacht going by? Just been fuck you forge?
Rachel:Yes. Awesome.
Margie:Um, there are more cruise ships. I saw so many cruise ships. Yeah, it's a thing. But I told Hank, I was like, just give me romance novels. Just give me romance novels. And he was like, okay, so he gave me three and so Hank and Alan I hate as usual I love that so it's Hank and his partner Alan. gifted me these books and as usual I love them and I hate them perfect them because I had to read this garbage fire of a novel to them because it's the perfect book for the podcast did
Rachel:they just pick Carolyn sparks on a whim
Margie:they did Wow.
Rachel:She's coming back she is Hey sponsor
Margie:no doubt she'll be that thrilled to sponsor us but you never know
Rachel:fair. All right. Hit me with this just literature that's what I can call it by the way there is another
Margie:book by JR rain under the same name. So just in case you don't want to get confused. So you want to know what the good reason ratings was? 4.5 4.17 Okay. All right. I wish I 1422 ratings that means nothing. Yeah, it does. Okay, so I there because we haven't done Carolyn sparks in a while I just wrote out and these are literally all the creatures you have to know about to understand the blog. Give me the background. Okay, so we got vampires immortal, powerful beings with a multitude of magical powers, including but not limited to. Ability to erase memory teleportation teleport, remember that one? Yes. And flights. That one. Pretty much all the tropes apply though can't be in the sun dead during the day they call it death sleep or death. Something like that. In the book. Don't show up in mirrors drink only blood pail. But their hearts do be in their eyes turn when read when they get aroused.
Rachel:I knew all of those. Thank you Carolyn sparks. You're helping me survive in this world that we've created. Oh, and they can
Margie:get people pregnant. I don't know. That's new. Yes. I don't know if lady vampires can get pregnant but DS can definitely get their ladies pregnant. They have developed Signet synthetic blood so they don't have to be some humans anymore. The malcontents or vampires who are assholes to humans and still drink their blood against their well I didn't know that one. Yes shifters any type of shifter slash furry fetish you got we got you covered so we got werewolves we got were Tigers we got were Panthers were bears were vampire animals.
Rachel:Okay. We're vampire.
Unknown:Yes. You
Margie:could be both you could be a shifter and a vampire.
Rachel:All right. Yes, Carolyn, listen. I desperately need a vampire where badger books
Margie:Yes. So they turn I think I can't remember if they I know that they turned during the full moon I know that that's a thing. But I don't know if they can turn on command to okay all right. So I'm not sure I feel like either they can or they just have super strength when they're still portable.
Rachel:Is he a dragon where dragon ah damn it
Margie:angels heavenly beings who work for the quote unquote Heavenly Father i
Rachel:said i was i internally internal monologue when you said that was I'm surprised Wait, no, I'm not.
Margie:They have healing abilities and are just holy as fuck I don't know last hashtag I don't know what normal what quote unquote normal angels in this book really do. There's also romance novels around to them. I didn't know that. God warriors. Basically Arcalis what? Paladins maybe? Oh,
Rachel:holy warriors.
Margie:Yeah, well, they're I consider them Archangels they're the only ones who can banish a demon to hell, but only ever if a mortals freewill is taken away. What that's the role so if a demon takes away a morals free well, then then the god warriors can come down and contempt that demon back to hell if lucky magic magic but that demon also is smaller. We're standing in a circle of seven chances they were holding hands like some of the David back. Okay, yeah. Okay. Demons angels who have fallen from heaven and joined Lucifer important distinction.
Rachel:We're playing fucking Kelvin ball here.
Margie:Okay? Okay, so now now we're gonna get the character
Rachel:Well, boy oh, what about the people that didn't join Lucifer? Are they something different?
Margie:They are something different. So there's one character in here her name is like Marseille or something that Marielle Her name is Marius de Marseille is an awesome name. I notice well met, her name is Marielle. And she was banished out of heaven because she saved someone's life that she wasn't supposed to as an angel. Okay, that person turned out to be a serial killer. So she like saved the person when they were a kid. And then he went on to like murder a bunch of other people. Okay, Marielle I think that's her name. She was banished from heaven. But she didn't join Lucifer. So she just became a human. What? Yeah, she became a human and then she fell in love with a vampire. And now they have a vampire baby. named Gabriel.
Rachel:Of course they do.
Margie:Okay, yeah. Oh, and everybody also has guardian angels. Okay, yeah. Unless you're a vampire, because, because you're already dead if you're a vampire, so your guardian angels pretty much like fuck you. Okay? Yeah, sure. Yep. So you got that all covered? You'll just I'm here for this. All right, so we're gonna start with characters like you do. So we got Dougal Kincaid. He's approximately 300 years old. Okay. He works for Roma tech. So I didn't know Rama, Rama tech, which is some vampire help company. But once you meet the synthetic
Rachel:Yeah, the synthetic blood and blood alcohol and snap blood alcohol.
Margie:But he's had a bad go of it for the past four years. He had his hand cut off in battle. And so now he can only play sad songs on his Aeolian pipes as I pronounce it. Yulian farmboy.
Rachel:How do you spell it?
Margie:u i l l e n? I have no
Rachel:idea. And to roll it back. He had his hand cut off. So he can only play sad songs now.
Margie:A lot of times it's out in the woods alone.
Unknown:Holy God, okay,
Rachel:I'm here. I'm here. I'm so here.
Margie:I'm so and that's only when he's feeling broody enough usually doesn't play at all because he doesn't think he plays well enough anymore. Okay, so he has a metal prosthetic hand that he controls with mind control. So that's another one. I guess it's like telekinesis. Yeah, he's broad shouldered ripped BOD long black hair, green eyes, where's the kill and poofy shirt and has a large dragon tattoo on his chest. And that covered asleep mark he got when he was sold into slavery in China 300 years ago. He's an excellent fighter, particularly fence fencing. And he can fence with both hands. generally pretty quiet.
Rachel:He doesn't have a hand. Oh, yeah. Right.
Margie:So like, imagine that like, like, Yo, bass hand that Wormtail got Harry Potter before? Yeah, I'm generally pretty quiet. He keeps his opinions and tragic backstory to himself. Good. I think he looks like I think he's supposed to look like he's in his late 20s. Early 30s. Okay. Leah chin is our other character. Leah is a 20. year for I should say Dr. Leah Chen. Dr. Leah is a 24 year old or so doctor. She started med school and I think she was 14. Her brothers started younger. And she also has a PhD in genetics. She's extremely attractive, of course has long thick black hair, golden brown eyes and creamy porcelain skin.
Unknown:I have to know now. Oh, no.
Rachel:Because number one, you know, in the 1700s that extremely common selling Irish people to slavery in China instead of the other way around, you know, history. And is racism a trigger?
Unknown:Good point. Um, yes. Okay. Just just Yes.
Rachel:I'm just picking up which board. Okay, the board. Okay.
Margie:All right. Now let's crack into the story story. Dougal, as I said before works for Roma tech and has just been promoted to head of security at this lab. So he's pretty pumped. At the beginning of the book. His boss, Angus tells him that a master Han is trying to take over the world. And he's raising an army to do so. Army and malcontents and pretty much anybody else you can get on this side.
Rachel:I'm sorry, I didn't realize that we've suddenly jumped into the fuckin Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles universe.
Margie:His Teenage Mutant no
Unknown:he's
Rachel:not but that's what these names are sounding like Jesus. Yeah. And shredder is going to come in.
Margie:Just wait. So and master Han has hired a demon like demon demon one that has joined the ranks of Lucifer named Dara for
Rachel:I will serve Lucifer in an honor. I will change my name to reflect Him. Day. I am no longer Derek. I am Dara.
Margie:Yes, he's employed him. Master Han has employed Dara for to make mutated soldiers. So basically, Derek, Derek has been taking mortal men offering the money and superpowers and then they genetically alter them into super humans. I mean, I would take that job. What these men don't realize is that once they die their souls belong to Dara for in hell forever.
Rachel:I mean, could still be worth it. With a man like Dara for
Margie:Yeah, Derek. Fuck, Derek. So, Derek. So Roma Tech has kidnapped one of these guys that Darfur is genetically mutated and wants to figure out how to remove the genetic alterations. They're basically experimenting on one of the superhumans in the basement of this place. While he's in quote, unquote stasis. Which is a fancy way of saying
Rachel:to a chair
Margie:like he's like strapped down to a bed and a room covered in silver, so vampires can't teleport in.
Rachel:Hello, Once and Future listeners. Yeah, I feel like we're traveling in time a little we are and it's a weird and I'm sorry, but we have to add, but we do. This is important. So hello, everyone. Hello, everyone. We're Rachel and Margie from the future of when we recorded today's episode, but the past of when the episode comes out. So figure that
Margie:one out. Yeah, figure that out. Yeah, time is an illusion. It's an illusion. It's relative. It's fine. It's relative. It's weird. So um, before for the last episode before I had this episode for this episode, I'm sorry for this episode. Before we record it, I had emailed a couple of genetics labs. Yeah. I asked them questions because there's a lot of like genetic altering. That happened in in this episode. So I emailed one of the genetics lab called lab genetic counselors neat. And I said Hi there. My name is Margie. And I am a co host on a comedy podcast called textual tension. Me and my best friend blah, blah, blah. And you're probably definitely wondering why I'm reaching out to you. I have a couple of background research questions that I wanted to ask you with regards to the book that I'm currently reading, which is called the vampire with the dragon that I put in parentheses stay with me.
Unknown:Good No. Good.
Margie:There's a plot point where an evil dude basically genetically modified humans to give them superpowers, right. That's what it was. Okay, cool. Now my questions are number one, is this possible like at all to in the main book, in the book, the main heroine character is hired to remove the genetic genetic modifications is that possible, like at all so this is a Lizabeth. Unfortunately, she works at this genetics lab. So I'm gonna assume that she has some sort of credentials, but she doesn't mention what they are. But she's like I said, she works at the lab genetic cow, Elizabeth your bro. Thanks, bro. We love you. Thank you so so so much. Yeah, really? So um, she wrote back, this is great. I will have to tune into the pod. Yeah, we love you, Elizabeth. Neither of these things are really possible at this point. Although if they were that would mean we would have the technology to fix a lot of genetic diseases. Yeah, it would be great. Hey,
Rachel:when your diabetes would go away? Well, you wouldn't go away but the
Unknown:I would just disappear to the boy I'm sorry.
Rachel:But Margie now identify so strongly with her betas that getting rid of it would get rid of her.
Margie:Elizabeth goes on to say the closest use of a modification similar to what you describe below is a Chinese researchers application of a gene editing technology called CRISPR, which I have actually heard Yeah, I mean, to which he applied to human embryos in order to reproduce twin girls who are apparently resistant to HIV needs. A small percentage of the general population is already immune to HIV due to net neutral gene change in a gene called CCR five, whoa, this girl is Yeah, induced this change in embryos to demonstrate that the gene editing technology could work in this setting for several reasons. Okay. This led to a lot of ethical concerns about whether the technology is ready for use in humans, for several reasons. It's not including the gene editing can cause off target changes and other genes that might cause health problems of their own. That would be a problem and then she gave me some articles about the twins need, so we'll put those in the show notes. Yes. Awesome. Yeah. So Thank you so much again Elizabeth.
Rachel:You're wonderful was awesome thing.
Margie:I'm so I'm so glad thanks again to counselors for getting you know, for especially but that's
Rachel:awesome, y'all we try really hard like to reach out to people that actually have experienced the things that we're doing because I have a very limited experience. And Margie has very limited experience. So if you if we do reach out and you guys get back to us, we love that and if you have any, I think we've read stuff from listeners before. So if you have experience in something that we don't, and you want to reach out to us and be like, Hey, I listened to this episode, and I noticed this and this is my experience. Yes, please, please. We will read only
Margie:added as an addendum. Yeah, absolutely. I'll do it in time we would absolutely. Oh my god, that'd be so cool.
Rachel:Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. Really excited. So hit us up. And Elizabeth, you're wonderful.
Margie:Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I was awesome. We hope you enjoyed the podcast. Yeah.
Rachel:All right. So take it away past but also future Margie and Rachel.
Unknown:Okay. Yeah, sure. Yep. All right. Okay. Yeah, do question.
Rachel:Did they go into detail about how they genetically modified these people? Oh, okay. No,
Unknown:okay. No, they
Margie:give him a demon herb Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you evil is a is a transmittable disease. This
Rachel:first of all, genetically modify someone with an array.
Margie:I think it's partially the herb, but then partially Derriford just be like, yeah, Neil, let me do some shit to you. I don't know. I think that they do something with the earth Jesus,
Rachel:all of us that have ever smoked weed in our lives.
Margie:Later So roaming, I told you Rotex. And so now but they've realized that they need help in genetics, they don't have enough experts on genetics on their staff to figure out what's wrong with this dude quick.
Rachel:We need some expert on botany.
Margie:Right? He says that so they're gonna hire an outside resource and that right outside resource happens to be Leah chin. Okay. Leah does not know anything about the world of vampire shifters, etc.
Rachel:Because if I remember correctly, Roma tech employs normal humans. Yes, they do. But they have like a special like, everyone wears like, some wristband or something that suppresses their scent so that vampires can't tell whether they're humans or not.
Margie:I have no idea. I remember that from the other book. Okay, not come up.
Rachel:If so, if that was where your suspension of disbelief broke, don't worry, they've accounted for it in a previous book. You don't I was here for until the humans working next to vampires. That's just ridiculous.
Margie:I wasn't here for I mean, within like, I think 15 pages. There's a little boy named Tino who is half vampire. And he offers Leah a Balu. He says, Hey, do you want a balloon? And she's like, Sure. And he floats to the ceiling to grab one.
Rachel:So damn, fears are a thing of this book. Hmm. Damn fears. So people that are born of vampires. Vampires themselves, necessarily. Yeah.
Margie:Like the kids are like, they're described as shockingly normal. Okay, they're not that weird. Okay. I think I mean, they sleep they sleep like half during the night and a half during the day, but it's not a death sleep. Okay.
Rachel:Yeah. Shout out to my 14 year old. Yeah, previous selves that read Vampire Hunter D
Margie:You're welcome. Okay, um, Leah doesn't know anything about the world of vampires, etc. And when Dougal hears that he's actually pretty conflicted, because he's like, Isn't morally just to bring her into this world when it could put her life at risk and cause significant emotional trauma. Which I'm kind of like here for I'm like, oh, at least someone's thinking about it. Okay. Yeah, she did just watch a child flip to the ceiling. Well, that was that this is before that. Oh, that was when my suspension it just like every everything.
Rachel:Trouble line flooding children. Yeah, to be honest. Yeah.
Margie:So um, they actually have already tried to tell Leah about this world like before. So she's on her way to Roma tech right now. Okay. Via car. And Angus explains to Dougal. He's like we've actually already tried to explain to Leah that all this stuff exists, but she didn't take it well, so we erased her memories. Good. Good. So I'm
Rachel:sure the second time around is gonna go swimmingly. Here's
Margie:their plan. is there's a birthday party happening for three children.
Rachel:Vampires are real. Yeah,
Margie:they're well, it's the it's the children of like family corpsman. Okay. And I think like one of them's like a shifter human couple as well. And they're all three their kids don't share a birthday but it's within like the same three weeks. So they're having a joint birthday party for these kids. And they're like, what's more, you know, what could be more wholesome and like less terrifying, but like a birthday party for children. So we want that Tell her there but we'll tell her and then we'll like, bring her out to the party and introduce her to everybody to make her feel comfortable.
Rachel:This could. There's no way this could go wrong. Absolutely not.
Margie:It's not gonna go wrong in the way that you suspect I'm telling you that right now.
Unknown:Okay. All right, right.
Rachel:We'll spend my assumptions.
Margie:She Leah arrives in a car and Dougal it, Angus, watch her come into the Roma tech security office. And immediately when Google sees her he freezes up because he she looks dead on like his lost love from 300 years ago, Lee lay instantly into that his prosthetic hand also starts going haywire. Immediately. He squeezes the bubbly blood bottle to to an exploding point to an exploding point.
Unknown:Okay, yeah,
Rachel:I'm, oh my God, hear for it yet. Here is a strong word, but it's happening anyway. So
Margie:So Angus, and Dougal head into the party. They're like, we'll meet Leah whenever after she gets told about all this stuff. Leah has been taken. So she's been taken to a lab to have vampires and shifters explained to her again. And this time. She's taking it much better. Gregory another vampire starts talking to Google at the party. And it's pretty they're talking about how the fact that it's pretty clear that Google is already into Leia despite the fact he's only seen her on her a security computer monitor. Uh huh. And Gregor is like, you need to update your look and you need some like you need to get back into practice. You have to go. There is a scene
Rachel:Yes. It is montage. You cannot convince me otherwise.
Margie:Guilty. So you need to update your look. And but you also need some practice with like, how to handle a woman. Hold on one second. So he goes off ducal still the party and Gregory comes back with a vampire altered sex doll. Yeah, look at me, Rachel.
Rachel:There are a lot of problems here. But I think the one that I'm a little bit hung up on is that if I'm going to a child's birthday party I don't know if that's maybe the best place to learn how to pick up chicks.
Margie:Also, don't bring a sex doll to a child's birthday party that's not particularly appropriate.
Rachel:Oh guy you know, all of a sudden I'm realizing a lot of reasons that I was fucked up as a kid.
Margie:It was when my dad brought in so see what the vampires invented synthetic blood so they could stop beating on humans some of them miss the thrill of feeling a beating heart. That's why they invented vana who has a synthetic heart to pump synthetic blood through her body and then they can have a more quote unquote realistic experience. It didn't work nobody likes her but now they just keep her around the office as a joke.
Rachel:I am at a loss for words. You are I just like
Margie:Gregory pretty much throws the doll at do girls like hearing go have fun haha. But here's the problem. Dougal's hand has started acting up and it won't let go of the doll. No matter what he does, no matter how much mind control he tries to use. He can not let go of the stall he just has. He's like ripping her arm. And he's like, I gotta figure this out. I don't know what's going wrong. So he goes into a conference room to try to figure it out. Meanwhile, Leah lay into the party. She starts to meet the kids and she's kind of like this is seems good, but it's really weird. I'm really overwhelmed. I need to go into a conference room to cool down hold on. Her science brain is kind of wracked with fear because she's like, my whole world is crumbling. The reason I had my whole life is crumbling. You know what? Yeah, I'm gonna go into a conference room. Just gonna take a minute to myself. She opens the door. There's Dougal covered in like the whole rooms covered in synthetic blood because he's literally tried to rip this doll off of him. And that is finally when she screams and fates oh, we're going
Rachel:on a journey.
Margie:I never thought it one of our books. I well, I guess I shouldn't say that. I don't know. I didn't know what to expect from this podcast, but I certainly didn't expecting sex dolls. Just sex dolls. In general. sex dolls are not romantic. They're pretty much the opposite of romance. Hey, baby. Why don't you come home with me and I'll show you my sex doll. So we popped
Rachel:the sex doll huh? He popped the sex doll.
Margie:He's like ripped it to shreds from What I recall like he was trying so hard to get it off of him, because he couldn't like go he could not a synthetic or his prosthetic hand would not let go. Okay. Yeah, I couldn't use his mind control. Okay. All right.
Rachel:There were easier ways to do that. But sure. He's,
Margie:yeah, he's just having a drama moment. And it's just like, you fuck a bitch and like stuff like that on the sex doll. So what she when she wakes up, her co worker, Abby is there and Abby's a fellow doctor in the lab. And she's calming her down like she's like, I'm so sorry that happened. But here's the situation. This is actually what that was. And then Dougal comes in. And she's like, Leah has was instantly interested in Google from the moment she saw him not in with the sextile Oh, okay. One point earlier,
Rachel:he's attractive but also okay.
Margie:Yes, so she's already very very, very interested in attracted and fascinated by this guy. And so but he tells her he's like, if you don't want to stay here, if you just want to go home, I will take you home like no questions asked. And Abby's kind of like, what we need her and he's like, that's not her problem like that. It's not there to basically force her to, to do this even it is gonna save 1000s of lives like that's not fair to her. So she doesn't want to do it. She doesn't have to do it. Okay. which I liked. Yeah, juggle. Yeah, go do goals. So um, but Leah decides of course to stay she's like, I can save 1000s of lives plus I can hang out with this hunk. So yeah,
Rachel:check in the yes column.
Margie:See, so immediately after she decides to say, do girl does his best to woo her like he's super interested in her. Alright, you bridges didn't her? He claims they're not dating, but like, it seems awfully a lot like dating. He's saying things like I've waited for you for so long. I want to be with you just literally forward right off the bat, my very straightforward. So like, he picks her up on to take her to teleport her home at the lab at the like early morning hours. Yeah, he actually teleports her to the top of the Empire State Building first at like, 130 in the morning, so you can see all the city lights.
Rachel:Cool. But also, if I was expecting to be teleported home, and then all of a sudden was told or
Margie:they were gonna he was surprising her with something because he was like, You're gonna need a sweater with where we're going. Do you have a jacket and he gives her his jacket or so. Okay. All right. So she was kind of she knew they were going somewhere else first.
Rachel:He's laying it on thick with a lot
Margie:of C's so thick in the evenings when he's had or in the evenings during the day. Yeah, I was gonna say, when he's having his quote unquote, death sleep, Leah goes down to the basement where she's staying to see him and finds notes addressed to her clutched in his hand that he like, as he fell into the dust sleep he was holding on to it. And so and they lay say things like this. This is the first one. Dear Leah, I doubt you'll come downstairs to see my dead car. Guess How romantic. But in case you do, I believe you this note, I'm not good at saying how I feel. So I thought I would write what was in my heart. If I could dream, I would dream of you. If I could see the sun, it would not shine from shine brighter than you. If I died 1000 deaths I would come back to search for you. Just FYI, at this point. It has been less than four days since they met.
Rachel:I was gonna say how far into the book are we?
Margie:I literally have it on post it notes of how that all of those are that but like how long they've known each other listeners. There's a lot of posts. There's a lot of posts. But also I think that they don't know. I think the whole course of this book probably takes place over like maybe maybe pushing it two months. Maybe
Rachel:awesome. Yeah. Whirlwind, baby.
Margie:So he continues to woo her while she's working. It takes it does take those four first four days before they have their first kiss.
Rachel:Such restraint.
Margie:How does it Okay, so I have to explain. Oh, God. That's never a good sign in particular. Abby, I've already talked about her. She's Leah's lab partner, also a doctor. She has come up with a new serum. It's designed it's it's designed to help the Vamps defeat bad vampires by simply taking over their minds. You wouldn't have to fight them if you could order them to lay down their weapons and surrender. Good luck can't be that in the right hands. Bitch.
Rachel:Can we talk about Oh, please. No.
Margie:No, and it gets worse fucking war crime. Oh, absolutely. But I'm also glad that she's like to ducal she's like, I want you to try it. And he's like, What She's like, I've never tried it on anything else, but you can try some of this. So she had Jackson with the serum.
Rachel:Okay, hold up one. Was it consensual?
Margie:He agreed. Okay, agreed. Well, so she her theory is that you know, his hand has been wacky because of Leah. And she's like, this may help wine. Control your hand. Why? Because I don't do science. That makes sense. Like science. Okay, magic. Sure. Fuck you mind control. So she gives him a diluted version of that. And pretty much what it does. It actually works way, way, way too well, but it works on mortals. So he thinks about something, and they will go do it. He tells all he has control.
Rachel:Yeah, of mortals. Right? Okay. So not even barring the fact that this is vampire land and mind control. And there's a reason that drugs and stuff are, are tested so much on like, mice, or before it even goes to clinical trial. Right? Like,
Margie:exactly. She's like, I've like I close the top. What kind of Doc is she? Oh, God.
Rachel:And also I should mention, because this is important, and not enough people know that. Just because something works in mice does not mean it will work in hand. Yes. Okay. Sorry. Yes. You're good. Look, think about that before you take your elder Berry, oh, wardrobe or whatever.
Margie:She gives him that. And she's like, Okay, I gotta go back to work. Now let me know if it works.
Rachel:This is a mad scientist. She's bad.
Margie:She's so bad. So she so he's like walking around the building. And it's like, unintentionally forcing things to people to do things that they don't want to do because he just thinks it's
Rachel:a cool lifestyle license
Margie:revised. No, I know. I know. So. At some point, he's like, I gotta get out of here. I just got to get out of the building. Like stay away from people for a while. I'll go into the woods and play by pipes really dramatically. And then he gets much Leah so he's continually thinking about Leah too. And he's like, don't think about her think about your like, go into the woods like play your pipes don't think about the Yes, but she keeps the hearing in her mind because he says her name. And it's like a command to her. Don't think about Leah he she keeps hearing it over and over again. And she's like, I don't know why, but she's into this shit. She's like, Oh man, how can I resist this sexy vampire?
Rachel:How can I resist being mentally commanded against my well just wait bless it. Oh, god, it's sexual. So the thing on here to it is
Margie:well, that's not okay. That's not a problem actually. No, good. Um, so she's like, eff this shit. So she goes out into what the seat I have to explain something about this. See, though that
Rachel:you have to explain a lot of things but a lot of
Margie:blame. I'm so sorry. No, you're doing great.
Rachel:I mean, there's a lot of things that need explained that are never going to get explained. This seed
Margie:reminds me of a particular seed and a cage.
Rachel:All right, wait, my eyes are closed theater of the mind. Yes, Paint me a word picture.
Margie:Okay, so one of the worst ones ever is called Boys Over Flowers. About this girl who she gets a scholarship to this super fancy school in Seoul. And they have this gang they're called F for sure. Or, and one of them constantly wears all white and constantly goes out into the woods to play his violin. So she will go out there and just listen to him play his violin while wearing all white. It was the worst hair I've ever seen in my life. Oh, God, no.
Rachel:Do go ahead his make his magical girl transformation yet. Just
Margie:wait. Okay, sorry. So she goes out to chase after Google. And he gets frustrated with himself because he's like, Oh, I can't play these pipes as well as I used to. I used to be the best player ever. And he throws them on the ground and starts walking back to the building. And she's like, How dare you just give up when you are so fucking good. And so she picks up the pipes and she's like talking to herself and be like her. And he comes right back because he's a vampire and could hear her you know? And that's when they exchange a smooch for the first time.
Rachel:Four days in. They've known each other for four days. I don't think it's even
Margie:it might not have even Yeah, four days. Yeah, she'd only known for four days, but here she was with a vampire. Oh, and his eyes grow love read when he gets aroused and it terrifies her. Yeah,
Unknown:no shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So let's see here.
Rachel:I just want to mention four days and you're almost halfway through the book.
Unknown:Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Geez.
Margie:So she's, this is the point where Leah is starting to get scared and overwhelmed. She's like, I am falling in love with this guy way too quick. There's way too much happening in my life right now. Yeah, like, yep. All that tracks all that tracks so she actually takes a step away from Google. He keeps leaving her notes in his death sleep and she doesn't read them.
Rachel:Nothing is more romantic than dead person notes.
Margie:And she doesn't really look at him. She doesn't really talk to him. Oh, and I forgot to mention that first night at the I think it was at the party that they saw each other for the first time the birthday party, and they are looking at each other. Like I remember looking at Parker bell when I was in sixth grade across the parking lot at middle school during the middle school dance and
Rachel:looking at each other like I looked at Leonardo DiCaprio the first time I watched Titanic. Yeah,
Margie:exactly. Exactly. Like she's doing like all these like slightly shy glances and I'm like, You were not 13
Rachel:Okay, I have there's a bigger problem with that.
Unknown:Okay.
Rachel:They're at a fucking child's birthday party. Yeah.
Margie:Three children's actually records with joy birthday party.
Rachel:Dude, bro. Bro. I'm gonna go pick up chicks where you going? So like Chucky Cheese No,
Margie:okay. Okay. Okay, so here we go. And these questions like, Why is she so afraid of me? Was it my eyes when they turned to red? And I have a note here like what baby? Maybe? I don't know what if your eyes are gonna change color,
Rachel:have all of the relationships that need absolute 100%, communicative transparency? It's one with a vampire and a woman who's known about vampires for four days.
Margie:Alright, let's see. Oh, oh, okay. So, there is another gentleman in this book who's very sweet. His name's Laszlo. And he's actually kind of into Leah too, but she's just not interested in him as a vampire, vampire, okay. And he so he decides he's the one who's going to go to the TV network guy and get a makeover first to try and impress Leah. And so then Dougal's, like, you know, maybe I should try to do the same thing. Okay, so he goes over there. When Laszlo was finished finishing up. The guy at the T TV station is like, so she wrote the stereotypical gay fashion designer guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah, whatever. So, um, but do Google. Like, the guy says, Laszlo. Oh, what a stupid name. We're gonna change it to laser
Unknown:Okay, great. Okay, it's great. It's fine. So oh my
Rachel:god. I am no longer Rachel. I'm Regan Yeah, oh, Jesus.
Margie:I'm no longer Marjorie Marjorie, a metric or
Rachel:a drink or your doctor about the metric or
Margie:metric is right for you. So
Rachel:direction last longer than four hours.
Margie:But your erectile dysfunction will be way gone.
Rachel:If your if your erection lasts more than four hours, then it's doing what it's supposed to do.
Margie:Why are you calling us it's just what you want it. So uncomfortable, though. I don't like cats don't have a penis. That sounds so uncomfortable. It's
Rachel:terrible. Yeah,
Margie:I'm okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So duchal goes to see the sky. And one of the other guys comes back to the lab not lot with Laszlo. And Laszlo said oh, yeah, I think he's gonna sorry. You mean laser? Laser. With laser. It's just Oh, yeah. I think Duke was about to get his hair done and like get you know, wardrobe change fabulous. As early as like, what? No, he can't. So she calls him and says do not change anything about you. I like you just the way you are. Okay, yeah. And so he get he like, throws money down on the table and he leaves and he immediately goes to Leia picks her up and carries her into the, into the Zeebo. Fuckin, that happens to be at Robotech almost naturally, almost, almost. And we can see that all right, yeah, it is open. Yeah, yeah, very open, very exposed. Exhibition is a job to be the head of security at this place. Well, he's
Rachel:obviously not doing a very fucking job, just okay. So
Margie:then, while they're making out out on this gazebo there, somebody tells me ports into the building and steals the soldier in the base You had one job one job one job and you're not very good at it so they find out it's the demon Dan tougher. Dan tougher teleported into the like into where that guy was strapped down
Rachel:totally fucking Mexico so yeah God that's like Yennefer is weird bro
Margie:oh my god yeah yeah before we kick this guy's yes
Rachel:because the universe cool actually for whatever the
Margie:coin to you Yennefer oh god whatever the fuck oh Valley aplenty um to to to judge
Rachel:Danna for
Margie:Dan ufer.
Rachel:Is it what is it? Danna for Darfur,
Margie:it's Dan Danna, for Danna for da N A fer Danna for God. That's great. So the team kind of like all the vampires in the at Rome attack, they kind of have like an emergency meeting. And they're like, Alright, what do we what are we going to do? Because now we don't have our research subject basically, to an annuity all those soldiers that we so and they know that the soldiers are coming from China, they know that so they're like, You should just go to China. We'll get more soldiers.
Rachel:China's a fucking big place.
Margie:It is a big boy okay? So I'm also
Rachel:cannot take Danna for seriously no way because we kind of fucking name is Danna for
Margie:like you can't I looked up data for I looked up to see if it's like a biblical name or something I'd never heard up. No, no, it's just a shitty name.
Rachel:Just dollar store. Jennifer
Margie:Dougal goes over to a small island in Japan first. That has a little abandoned school on it. Where they meet up with other vampire saved Yuki and Kyo Hmm, I think she might be up for its mascot fad. There's one other reference like very subtle reference. I think different spider skin this book that I remember
Rachel:one again, hello. 14 year old Rachel. Yes. I can confusion.
Unknown:I know. Your confusion. Yes.
Rachel:Because I'm getting it secondhand.
Margie:I know. I know. I'm so sorry. I feel like there's no way you're doing
Rachel:well. best you possibly could. I just think that next time you need to warn me and I'll we'll in the corkboard and bring in all of my string and pig pegs and start plotting it out
Margie:because this is banana Jesus. Okay, so I told you that I told Rachel we went and got coffee. I was like, I'm just gonna have to ramble because it's the only way that the lack of sense
Rachel:I can do my damnedest to summarize this at the end, but we'll see how it goes. So
Margie:sow sow, sow, sow, sow, sow, sow, sow, sow, sow, sow. Alright,
Rachel:the tiny, tiny island is an island in Japan
Margie:with Yuki and Kyo also there's a nine tailed fox.
Rachel:It sorry, did we jump into Japanese folklore, which is cool,
Margie:but why? Because there's another character they've moved in. And she Yeah,
Rachel:all right, fine. If nine tailed fox is this then yokai totally exist which are hopping vampires. And they're vampires. But their feet are stuck together so they just bounce around.
Margie:Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm just like getting so last now.
Rachel:I mean, you're doing great do the best I
Unknown:can so good. So they find out right
Margie:out the data for has enslaved this Chinese village full enslaved this Chinese this this Chinese village to grow and pick demon herbs. And that is what he has been using to create his mutated soldiers. It's also what he uses to control the villagers. It's genasi jiashi.
Rachel:Sorry. Jiangshi that's the happy vampire.
Margie:Okay, um, she jianchi Um, so, um, he's using this village to grow and collect the demon herb. Right. So the dank dank demon are our boys and our girls are like, hey, so why don't we just cut off a supply to that that he can't at least make any but anybody more?
Rachel:I mean, that makes perfect sense. There's definitely not any other patches of land in the world that can grow this herb?
Margie:Absolutely not. But at least it'll stop you know for now, so you won't be able to create anymore.
Rachel:That's a rarely Yeah, okay. All right. Sorry. I'm sorry. You're trying to avoid potholes.
Margie:So um, oh, they heal all the villagers in the village basically make them wake up from like a hypnotic sleep kind of how that they gave to do go Earlier in the book The Mind Control stuff because they think that it will help to get control back over their minds. Listeners Rachel's hitting her head with her science notebook
Unknown:okay so
Margie:then all Bahrain all the villagers are super pissed at data for two because they're like He promised us money I can data for data for He promised us money. He promised us good jobs and instead he just enslaved us. So they burn all the demons. And her dollar for the ground happened. Okay, so all that good coaches gone.
Rachel:I'll put the had the best high ever. Yeah, they're all evil now. Sorry.
Margie:Okay, okay, so now, and oh, I should have mentioned I completely forgot about the sex that was so wrapped up in the novel.
Rachel:They had sex at this point.
Margie:They had sex. Okay. All right. It's been less than two weeks or something.
Rachel:I mean, that's that's a normal amount of time to have sex like legitimately Yeah, that's legit. You're right. I mean, close to the end.
Margie:This is two weeks. Yes, we are close to the end. If there is an 11th hour kidnapping Oh, awesome. So um, before this like Japanese China, whatever fucking trip wherever they're wherever the fuck they are. They do go in Leah go back to Leah's original apartment to like, get her some clothes. Because she's only had clothes for like three days. She wasn't you know, they just attacked for that
Rachel:long hop back to Rome attack from China. No, no, no, no,
Margie:they they this is before they went to China. Oh, okay. Yeah, this is before they went to China because they were like packing for. Oh, this is the second bit. Oh, that's our next bit. Right. And I have to say for Carolyn. She does know how to write consent. So it's sexy. Okay, because he like he's asking like every stage and she's very enthusiastically say yes. Okay, so I had to like, props. Right? Yeah, props where props are due. Yeah, props where props are due. Okay, so back to China back to China. So they take this I'm so sorry. That's okay. Why? Because now they're like, Okay, where are we going to take all these poor people and they take them to tiny little The village is like unlivable they haven't been taking care of it because they've been at this like drug induced helping rebuild their homes. They care right now. Okay. Sure. Sure reasons.
Unknown:So they take them to Tiger town. Which is I'm sorry, say again. Take the Tigers out elaborate.
Margie:It's a community of where tigers in China going back centuries and centuries and centuries. There is a great I think there's like a grandmaster, Grandmaster Tiger.
Unknown:He's pretty dope
Margie:Isn't it adorable little old vibe. They're all really nice people. They just all happen to be where Tiger ships
Rachel:I'm not Chinese. I don't think Carolyn is either. No, she's and I don't think that's okay.
Margie:She's a redhead.
Unknown:Okay, yeah,
Rachel:I just, I'm not even gonna.
Margie:I'm listeners. I'm gonna let you draw your own conclusions on that because not only am I not qualified to speak to that, but also I think it's pretty obvious and yeah, it's really bad. The problems with that oh, so bad. So everything ends up okay. Everybody's thrilled like they got the villagers. That was a huge success. They burn the demon herb. So Danna for at least can't make any more mutated soldiers. And they did manage to get their hands on a few mutated soldiers to do experiments on and the experiments are working. So they're being on genetically. Yeah, yeah. So everything's working out. And Leah is starting to get like really nervous because she's like, Yeah, but Danaher is gonna find out what we did. And she's trying to like be cool about it. So she sees Dougal again after this like whole thing with a village. They have sex. They agree they decide they're going to get married. Okay. Like, okay, about three. Very good, yes, great. Um, they have sex. And what happens after that? Oh, and Dougal has become really good friends with a grandmaster of the where tigers.
Rachel:Props to you for saying that sentence with a straight face.
Margie:So that we get to our level that kid that hit me with that kidnapping so they're back at the lab and their island in Japan and suddenly Danna for appears and he grabs Lee stops time grabs Leah and takes off. This is the middle of the day. So
Rachel:stopped. I'm just making pop. Haha.
Margie:That's pretty much what happened. That is what happened and
Rachel:he pumps back twirls his moustache and leaves again.
Margie:So when Dougal wakes up, he finds out his girl is gone. She's been kidnapped, and she's gone for like a pretty good amount of time. And he's like, Fuck, I failed her again. Because he's convinced now that she's really lay and this is her second. She's like, come back to be with him.
Rachel:You know what all this other shit exists? Why not reincarnation?
Margie:Exactly, exactly. So he's convinced and he's also convinced like he's like, Fuck, I promise I would protect her this time. I wouldn't let anything happen to her so we could be together. And now she's gone again. Fuck. So, flip over to our poor friend Leah. Who Danna for hat is keeping like in a jail cell in a basement of a castle or Sumption? As one does as one does, you know either Japan or somewhere else he teleports to? Oh, yeah, of course. Sure. And so she desperately tries to get in touch with her like taught tell her guardian angel to please get in touch with other angels to like how could get a message she
Rachel:just she could call him up
Margie:well so that we have like yeah, basically the her she's so that does not work.
Rachel:No signal. Honestly. stonewalls are just a terrible for 4g
Margie:data for once her to work for him. And to be create help him create more demon soldiers. And she says no. And he's like, Well, there's this guard. There's this asshole right here who I know you don't like him. But it's like, he's like, guarding her this other guy or whatever. And he's like, but I could just kill him. Unless you work for me. And she's like, fuck me. It's like, or I could just get some kids in here and drink or drink their blood or have a vampire drink their blood until you decide to work for me. She's like, if I were her, honestly, I would just say yes. And the develop something that would kill him. Or do something.
Rachel:Right. Like you could pull an Iron Man. Yeah, exactly.
Margie:That's what I was just thinking. Yeah, yeah. Um, but she's not she's not like an extra expert geneticist. Yeah. And he's also um, data for is also telling her things like you're just a replacement for his long lost love of 300 years ago. So she she never heard of Leila. She now knows about Lila.
Rachel:Communication in a relationship. So
Margie:she knew that something was up because she was like, I never thought I'd find you again. And she's like, what does it get me anyway? So long story short, this demon realizes he's not gonna be able to convince her Tana for Jennifer. Oh, Danna for it turns into a wolf and bites her in the shoulder. Wait, yeah,
Rachel:he's a demon vampire werewolf.
Margie:I don't know. So this is the part where evil is a transmittable disease. She becomes evil.
Rachel:Oh my god. This is great. Okay, all of a sudden, I'm forgetting everything that just happened. I'm now on board.
Margie:Let's go Alright, so basically I'm so here for this now. I'm just gonna read a little quote for you. He took the shape of a black wolf and bet her she has been infused with evil and that I put on the top like a tea.
Rachel:Tea he bitter and then all the sudden all of our clothes turn into leather dominatrix wear and now she has
Margie:actually it's red silk. Okay, all right. Fair. The only way to save her is to return Danna for to hell then she will return to normal Alright, so let's see here. All right, I'm gonna read aloud a bit to you of would you be wakes up evil? Are you ready? I am. No, I've
Rachel:never been more ready for something in my life.
Margie:Leah jerked awake, her vision blurred with a red haze and her head pounded with a constant throb of raging emotion. hate hate hate. Anger slithered through her veins fury scorcher skin hot and relentless. She wants to death destruction, suffering. She jumped to her feet and stretched a surge of power rippled through her muscles. She was strong, invincible, her heart thundered in rhythm to her pounding head. hate hate hate. She glanced over the neighboring cell were Guang light that was the asshole guard. His throat ripped out his clothes drenched in blood, and she smiled. That's my girl Dan for mood from the shadows, his eyes gleaming with pride. Master she recognized him at once and bowed her head. Only her masterpiece so beautiful. So may I serve you? He unlocked the prison door. We have much to do you and I together we will create a new race. Yes she strode from the cell should be invincible, all powerful. We will rule the world. Yes. How fortunate she was that the master had chosen her. Thank you Master. I will do anything for you. We die for me gladly her mouth twisted twisted but I'd rather kill for you it goes on World War Two
Rachel:makes so much more sense now all those war cry all those transmittable disease transmittable evil just evil the STD
Margie:Okay, so I'm gonna get really so then the god warriors are like they Danna first taken the freewill of a human being Leah okay. And so they're like we can now banish Stanford to hell. Cool. So they started battle they managed to banish Danna for to hell. However in the process Leah tries to kill Dougal and the Grandmaster where tiger jumps in front of Google and dies. And Google is saved. And Danna for immediately after it gets banished to hell. And she wakes up out of this like evil stupor and screams
Rachel:you just gotta power through. I'm so lost. Lost I know what's happening. Again, it's I know what's happening. What I don't know is why.
Unknown:Okay, so so so
Margie:we cut to we're back at the weird Japanese, whatever,
Rachel:Japan or China. Apparently they're interchangeable. So much worse.
Margie:I know. Leah is not doing well. And she is like, she won't eat. She hardly sleep. She won't drink. Like Dougal is like, this was not your fault. Please come out of this. Please snap out of this. And she will not and the Abby her friend is like I'm gonna put her on an IV Sue, because
Rachel:hey, I know you're depressed. Just get over it. Have you tried getting over it?
Margie:Well, she's also like, you don't love me, you lovely lady. He's like, I love you. I love you. Like, it's not even about whether you're Lee Laird, I love you so much. And she's like, I don't believe you. And I hate myself. And I tried to kill it because I tried to kill you. So he comes up with the only thing that he thinks will save her. What do you do? I guess what it is?
Rachel:No, because I think I have an idea. And I hate it.
Margie:He wipes her memory of all memories that have to do with him. So
Rachel:that she like know what I was expecting. Still hate it. Yeah,
Margie:so she doesn't remember Dougal at all does not remember him. Basically, all right, we're just going to fast forward through this. There's like a week or two where they're just kind of pining at each other. Once again, Jerry got each other across the room. He's wearing a necklace of hers. And she's like, Why the fuck are you wearing my necklace? Um, and she one of the god Warriors is still hanging around for whatever reason. And he's like, Do you need help with something? And she's like, Yeah, I think I forgot something and I want to remember it. And he's like, okay, and he gives her all her memories back and they live happily ever after.
Rachel:Okay, but have you tried getting over it?
Margie:Oh, rachel, as you know, I tried. I tried for a very long time you
Rachel:try just like not being sad? Yeah,
Margie:uh, yeah. So there you go. That's the vampire with the dragon setsu. Well,
Rachel:that was printed
Margie:paper, trees died for this.
Rachel:There. It's,
Margie:I don't want to look at it anymore.
Rachel:It's another one of those ones, where there is too much to unpack. There is so much so much. It would take us another hour and a half to go over it.
Margie:Just so fucking much.
Rachel:I here's the thing. It's not so bad that we can't rate it. It's just gonna be real shitty with rain. It's just gonna be well, okay,
Margie:so let's do the characters. The characters both get to choose the plot gets a one the smike Honestly just gets a two. It didn't. It didn't. It didn't do anything. For me. It was fine. Like the fact that she did like, the consent was, was nice, because it was just like, I mean, like, and if you take it as I did as a comedy, it's hilarious. Yeah, like it's absolutely six, but it's not a comedy. Oh, it's it's it's I don't and I would give it probably a to only because it wasn't super problematic between the leads. So Doogal was an hour boy,
Rachel:I constantly have these moments of the fact that that is a requirement is so sad. Yep. Yep. So I mean, here's
Margie:a one though because if the if the lead is like really, really abusive, we don't even bother to rate it.
Rachel:Right. And it needs to be I think this one's worth reading, but at the same time, like, obviously, there's a lot of problems with this a lot of problems that you and I are not necessarily are not necessarily capable of speaking too because we are not Japanese or we are not, you know, tigers, no way tigers, sorry, Chinese, Chinese.
Unknown:Or like,
Rachel:I don't know there's there's a lot of shit that I'm not an expert on. But even disregarding all of that, right. She I feel like she tried so hard. And it made it so confusing. It made just
Margie:so bad, worse. And I know what a good book it's not a good book. She's She The other problem with it was is that she included way too many characters from other books from other stories when she needed to keep it small. She needs to like make it so that it's too much because there's got to be okay, so let's think about this.
Rachel:Call something book 14 And a series when it's not a continuing storyline necessarily. Yeah. Like, Jesus. There's just too much going on. Too much,
Margie:too much. I'm just exhausted. I know I say that every time. But I'm like this book in particular. I was like, there's so many plot points and so many ways that you're trying and also the vamp vampires are way overpowered. They're so overpowered
Rachel:would now be a bad time to mention that I feel like I'm lately like I've been getting a little bit sick. And I think I might be evil
Margie:to say that
Rachel:that we've shared shared some coffee and
Margie:becoming evil was that way and also like you could have just done
Rachel:mind control. We've already established that that happens. Why did you have to throw in this other thing and the
Margie:excuse of her being kidnapped was weak? Yeah, like kidnap her revenge. Okay, great for Bernie. You're good cush. Really? I really like I've been really bad when someone threw up my weed, but not that bad.
Rachel:Jesus. Okay, well, thank you guys so much for listening hanging on to that dumpster fire.
Margie:If you have any questions don't ask me because I can't
Rachel:I just hope that it was entertained. Yes. Yes, Jesus. Sorry. We wait. But I do have a question for you guys. Reach out. I want to know on social media. What would you be a vampire, a demon aware something a combination of the three or an angel? Or a human? I want to know. Curious
Unknown:Oh, what do you think I would
Margie:be RACHEL Oh, god. Um,
Rachel:I think you could rock a solid where Tiger? I think I could rock a solid. We're done. Yeah, yep. I think I'd be damned fear or vampire.
Unknown:You'd be evil.
Rachel:I'd be Yennefer sorry, Dan. Dan, tougher Jennifer Jennifer Rutherford. She's
Margie:totally into that evil
Rachel:so in hey, if I can wear that much red silk Hell yeah.
Margie:That's true. That's true. All right. We love you. I
Rachel:love you. Oh, and thank you a literary for the use of her song. Oh, love of the album be held. Can't forget that. Yeah. All right. Well, see you guys in two weeks. Yes,
Unknown:yeah.