Rachel and Margie are joined by Ashley, Tiffany, and Rebecca of The Ladies of Strange! Margie tells everyone about Amanda Ashley's, Embrace the Night. This book has it all! Vampires, reincarnation, an abundance of problematic behavior: you name it!
Rachel and Margie are joined by Ashley, Tiffany, and Rebecca of The Ladies of Strange! Margie tells everyone about Amanda Ashley's, Embrace the Night. This book has it all! Vampires, reincarnation, an abundance of problematic behavior: you name it!
Hello, and welcome to textual tension. Every other week I jump in here, me, Rachel with our other coast bitsey. Say Hi, Betsy. She turned away from the microphone to give you guys the What's What in the world of textual tension. I hope you guys are still staying safe out there. And I hope everyone's nice and cozy and safe and warm. And to kind of help you stay nice and cozy and safe and warm. I just want to give you guys a quick reminder that for the foreseeable future, all textual tension Patreon bonus content will be available to everybody. So if you guys want a little bit extra to listen to, and I have something to do with, we're all still self quarantined. I recorded this in advance. Or, sorry, social distancing. Hey, check that out. Go to patreon.com/textual tension and take a listen. We have some really fun stuff, especially this week, because ladies of Stranger awesome. And I have like over 30 minutes of bloopers from this episode. It's wonderful. By the way, hey, so episode is recorded with the ladies of strange you need to go check them out. They are amazing and incredible. And they're all over social media and stuff. They talk about it a little more in the episode. Check them out too. You can check us out on social media at textual tension pod across the board as well as textual tension pod.com. And send us an email at textual tension pod@gmail.com All kinds of pods over here. I'm speaking of Facebook, similar to last week, remember, we are revamping our Facebook page into a book club. And this week, Margie is reading The Night Circus and I realized this is coming out in April this month. I mean sorry, not this week. And it's not too late to jump on there. Go check it out. See what everyone's talking about. It's a great book. We love it. And we'll be over there talking about how amazing it is so and if you don't like it, let us know. Do we want to know? So hit us up at Facebook and please join our Facebook book club. We would love it if you did. Um, I think that's just about all we have this week. So thank you guys so much for listening. And, you know, we still love you. You're still great. Bitsy loves you. She told me away from the mic. So you know you didn't hear it, but that's okay. So without further ado, please enjoy episode of 41 the modern Gabriel tearing me apart from Rocky sea.
Margie:Hello, and welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels podcast. I'm your co host Margie.
Unknown:I'm your co host Rachel and I'm your co host Tiffany. I'm your co host Rebecca and I'm your co host Ashley.
Margie:Hey friends. Today we're joined by the ladies of strange together we we will unpack what the fuck just happened.
Unknown:Yes, join sorry.
Rachel:We do. All right. So y'all all I know is that I'm drinking wine because I'm gonna hate this. You're gonna hate it so much. You're gonna use a stranger also drinking wine because they're gonna hate us. So welcome, friends.
Margie:Welcome. We're so happy to have you here.
Unknown:Thank you so much. We are so excited to be here. I'm like nervous sweating.
Margie:That well reason. That's why we told you to take off your bra.
Unknown:And I complied. I'm nothing. Because to wash it sooner. And nobody wants to have
Margie:to do that exact Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Rachel:So before we get too deep into this, I'm not looking forward to it. But I am at the same time. Do you guys want to go ahead and introduce what you do?
Unknown:Absolutely. So we are the ladies of strange. We are a comedy podcast that unpacks the history mystery and theory of all things questionable. Odd, an eerie, and we talk about everything from murders to penis festivals to sex. Yeah, go sex. So it's fun. Good.
Margie:If we ever have go sex I'm now gonna bring you in is like research expert about Go.
Unknown:Yes, Tiffany's. I have spent way too much time googling it. I'm ready.
Rachel:That's in your search.
Margie:The FBI agents are like this. What?
Unknown:They've got so much more than
Margie:we. There's more. But
Unknown:wait, there's a lot more. We had a lengthy discussion about the longest erection both in length and time and I took it upon myself to ask your doctor if it's last more than four hours, and then I calculated the velocity of it it's amazing. Oh my oh I'm gonna Heart is singing I love it.
Margie:Okay. All right, here we go. 123 Turn it over.
Unknown:Oh, oh, oh wow what is this phantom of the opera bullshit? The guy I know, please let him have an evil twin, please.
Margie:There's enough of him to go around already back.
Unknown:Okay, Margie? Why the fuck is he wearing a tuxedo
Margie:he loves capes. Wow.
Unknown:I mean, you can't go wrong with a good cape,
Margie:though because he exists.
Rachel:Okay, okay, so let me go ahead and describe this for listeners. Although I will say real quick. I will only refer to him as Endymion yet from Sailor Moon because tuxedos. Okay, so this is embrace the night by Amanda Ashley. sensuous, mesmerizing electrifying from the romantic times. Okay, so as you guys mentioned, this dude's on here twice, in very much an 80s Montage sort of. So there's like a real big close up on his face. And he's kind of given you the like paudi bedroom esque eyes. He's
Margie:good at that. Okay.
Unknown:All right. All right. But is that good?
Rachel:I don't, I don't know if that's good. I don't. I'm not particularly one for that level of flowing black hair. But
Margie:it's a very 80s
Unknown:it is very 80s. When it's a mullet. It's in its own other category. But it's hard to tell. Oh, baby, all kinds of party in the back.
Margie:And then what about the woman?
Rachel:Okay, yeah. So there's so there's the the close up at a montage of his face in the background. And then in the foreground. There's him. And it's really hard to see where how his arms work, but I'm assuming he is carrying her. And she's like, maybe passed out.
Margie:There's a lot of that too.
Unknown:Great. Good.
Rachel:Looks like he's pouting intensely at her throat which I can only assume he's going to bite her in some way.
Unknown:I thought he was smelling her. But
Rachel:I also can we talk about how her legs are not the right size for her body.
Unknown:And they're in a very awkward heightens the, I guess the best way to describe them. Okay, that's too.
Rachel:So when you look at her his hand, he's holding her the lower leg and one of her legs is like up a little higher. And you have to assume that even though she's passed out, she is actively raising that second leg.
Unknown:She's ready. She's so ready.
Rachel:Okay, and she's, she's wearing like, it looks like a like, like, we're looking like Charleston, South Carolina. Nope. Okay, not the right here for that. Sure. It does look like a dresser that requires at least 12 More petticoats than she's wearing though. Absolutely, yeah. 100% Alright, so um, is there an inside?
Unknown:I don't know. She's barefoot.
Rachel:She is also barefoot. So he
Margie:also sort of explained, okay, okay, that would be maybe
Unknown:to carry her to the street.
Rachel:So I can only assume that she lost all 12 petticoats and her stockings and shoes in a horrific carriage accident.
Unknown:All right. Okay. Not to Charleston.
Rachel:Anywhere but Charleston. Okay, so Oh, Jesus. Master of darkness mistress of light.
Unknown:I looked at this book. Subscription. Oh, no. Yeah, okay.
Rachel:Oh God, a creature doomed to wander the earth in eternal darkness. He searched the ages for someone to share the Endless Night of his existence for that one woman who would recognize the man within the monster, an angel of purity and sunlight. She feared the mysterious stranger whose eyes promised endless ecstasy even as he whispered dark secret secrets she dared not believe. They were two people longing for fulfillment, braving the danger of a love like no other alone. They faced a desolation and despair together. They would share undying Passion defy attorney attorney and hang on to read this how it's written
Unknown:embrace this Tuxedo Mask motherfucker Oh also vampire yes Jesus Christ in change very intrigued to know more this is why I've always thought that romance novels should have less descript front covers because that just grew all of that fantasy that could have been created with that description looking at him is gone
Rachel:100%
Margie:Oh you shouldn't be fantasizing about okay, he's a horrible vampire being
Rachel:so I really watchman I really wish that we'd printed off trigger bingo cards for this oh yeah cuz I think it's gonna be a big one
Margie:so much trick so many triggers Marty so
Unknown:little time list off our triggers.
Margie:We got psychological groups write
Unknown:them all down. Yeah.
Margie:We got sexual behavior with a minor. stalking and suicide.
Unknown:Oh, and for
Margie:more weight. Wait. Oh my. There's more. Wait, there's Oh, no. Um, so I'm gonna start off by introducing the characters. So we got our homeboy, Gabriel definitely.
Unknown:Oh, God, really? He's an angel.
Margie:She names him that. He does but he's just like, yeah, use whatever name you want. I don't care.
Unknown:Thoughtful Thank you.
Margie:Okay. He's absolutely your stereotypical vampire self loathing lives in a quote unquote, what he self describes as a layer decrepid old monastery and he brews on the literal throne. Wow. Wow.
Rachel:Anyone here ever get into getting into some Castlevania bullshit? No, no. Okay, should I just want you to know, great games but and the anime on Netflix is incredible. But Dracula named his son Aaloo card, which is just back backwards and I'm getting very heavy Castlevania Dracula vibe.
Margie:Oh, just wait. Alright, so then to go on about Gabriel. No one stroke is Gabriel. Blood as fast as Gabriel
Rachel:he's the best. He's the best.
Margie:He can hypnotize he can keep things up with his mind. He can turn into mist and basically teleport he can erase people's memories. He also he can I think he has telekinesis. He can quote unquote blood Bond himself to people basically with some vor asleep that happened before so yeah, with a selected other person will be read his mind as well but also be emotionally connected to him in a very dependent sort of way. So like he said, they drink so like he has to drink their blood and that they have to drink his blood. And then they're like the blood bound that happened
Rachel:in the Atlantis one,
Unknown:which is one
Margie:all right, so then we got our incredibly naive girl who is a paralyzed a paraplegic, orphan living in an orphanage with a bunch of nuns, the legs she's her mother had abandoned her when she was really young after a string of bad luck. And she ended up at that orphanage homeboy found Sara after her mother had hightailed it out of town. He dropped her off at the orphanage run by the nuns and since then has sworn he would always protect her. She was somewhere under eight at this point.
Unknown:No, Jesus. Yeah. He's just gonna take care of her like a big brother and then fall in love with somebody else. Right? Definitely have this Interview with a Vampire.
Rachel:Okay, so I need to know how old is she when they do?
Margie:I was just about to get to that. Thank you. So we now jumped to when she's 17. And still marginally better but better. I homeboy hangs out at the creepy monastery when he started stalking a literal child. Oh, and by the way, he doesn't need to hang out at the monastery. He has several other rich people properties, but he just likes the beauty aspect aesthetic. Like a castle. And like a townhouse. He's like, Nah, he is but homeboy is obsessed with Sarah Jane. He has watched her at night constantly, but it's never revealed himself.
Unknown:Oh no. Phantom of the Opera.
Margie:No. Yes. Yes. Makes me a little bit of Twilight. Right. Yes, you are poor girl is hella better, um, just because of like, you know, live in an orphanage like, it's like, late 1800s.
Rachel:Okay, but if you were a woman in late 1800s You'd be bitter about everything.
Margie:Yeah, right. Exactly.
Unknown:Also a paraplegic also. Yeah. But she's not dead by now. But
Margie:homeboy loves her saying It was no wonder Sara was better. he mused. Perhaps you should have told her that she was the single ray of sunshine in his own miserable existence, that her life had purpose, even if it was only to bring light into one man's world of darkness. Okay, but but isn't sunshine
Unknown:bad for vampires?
Margie:Yeah, literally.
Rachel:Killing to murder. She's gonna murder him.
Unknown:With her love
Margie:worth is not defined by how he feels about her. Also, then,
Unknown:also, this is very pedophilic and I am a slightly uncomfortable. Oh,
Margie:yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, drink. That's why That's why you're drinking wine.
Rachel:All right, mine in a sippy cup. So okay, I have a couple of questions real quick. Okay. One, how old? Is he at this point? 300. Okay, so the whole like, like, what is it multiply their age by two or whatever? Like that rule does not work.
Unknown:divided in half, at seven years? Yeah, do that way too well,
Margie:so it's 157. Yeah, it's not that No.
Rachel:Two, can we just take a hot second to talk about how the paraplegic part of this makes her is literally a physical representation of her dependence upon him. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Just wanting to make sure that not very subtle on the symbolism there.
Unknown:Whatever your Julie whatever. Amanda, Ashley, Amanda.
Margie:It gets worse.
Rachel:All right. Whoa. Textual tension drinking game everyone Drink. Drink. She says it gets worse.
Margie:Homeboy is a homeboy. He's a major creep. He'd watched her grow from a beautiful child into a beautiful woman. and.dot.is Less had grown grown with her.
Unknown:She's not a woman yet. Thank you. She's not a woman. I'm not a girl. Not yet a woman. That lust was there when she was younger
Margie:my next note is just kill him. Okay, so one day after Sarah tries and fails to walk again, like it's in the evening, she's in a room alone. She's like, Oh, time for a cyanide cocktail. I'm done with this life. What pages 20 That's
Rachel:what I thought. Okay. Maybe the ground running. Oh,
Margie:homeboy. It leaps through the window and stops her from taking this it was still watching. Yes, she'd never she had never seen him before but immediately calls him her quote unquote guardian angel and name some Gabriel herself. What was his name before that? Giovanni?
Rachel:It's such a better name. Honestly.
Unknown:Yeah, it is, but it's a bit more pretentious. So it fits.
Rachel:Right, exactly. It's a little bit more brooding and I like it more. Yes.
Margie:So home boy finally meet Sarah again. After staring at her through a window for literally years. They talk very dramatically. He comes back the next night and gives her a book of poems and then decide he's a bad influence on her. He should never see her again. So like for at least a couple weeks. I think I don't remember how long the period of time is. He just goes back to brooding and staring at her through a window. She responds to that by becoming despondent and refusing to eat.
Rachel:That is one hell of emotional whiplash. I've been staring at you and lusting after you for literal literally like 10 years. But now that I've talked to you once, I'm a bad influence. I'm gonna leave.
Margie:I'm gonna leave.
Unknown:I also think back to when I was 17. If a guy had been like, I am in love with you and I've been staring at you. I would have been like, okay, cool. Yeah, let's do this. He disappears for weeks a dark brooding vampire. No. Girl you knew 17 year old
Margie:man like those Twilight vibes. I'm
Rachel:telling you what? You girl went hard for the broody people and go for the video game person. Cloud Cloud Strife. Hell, yeah. Drama.
Margie:Okay. All right. All right. She nearly dies. And he hurts himself into a room and forces her to drink his blood which saves her life. He promises to stay near her at once. She's like when she wakes up and then starts begging him to stay. He
Rachel:could have jumped in anytime in that two week period. Didn't have to be when she was literally dying.
Margie:I think he I don't know that I think about I don't know if he was actually if he had like really stepped back at that point was not watching her. So she wakes up the next day feeling great happy thinking life is so bad she got Gabrielle. She tells Gabrielle she's thinking about joining the nunnery and he hates that for the horrible obvious reasons, but also
Rachel:because he's a vampire and Christians are against vampires, right? Yes, that too
Unknown:well, so because that's not the only reason he he was that person.
Margie:Anybody else so let any other man have her.
Unknown:Oh, including God.
Margie:Jesus keep your mitts off. He takes her to the ballet. He takes her to dinner in the evenings he sings to her holes or in his arm, etc. Did wheelchairs
Rachel:exist in the hundreds? Yes. No, I want to know like, for real? Go ahead.
Margie:Alright, so one day however, a fire breaks out in the orphanage. Sarah nearly burns to death of the flame. Okay, death. Number three.
Unknown:We're keeping
Margie:a tally when when homeboy wakes up from his daytime death sleep because he does that vampire thing if he sleeps the whole day, right? Like can't be in the spring. He rushes to the hospital, grabs her and takes her back to his lair. Not probably
Rachel:has better tools than you know. The hospital. Medical professionals
Unknown:like blood. Exactly.
Rachel:Blood hospitals are terrifying. So maybe actually he did well he actually did
Margie:give her some of his blood and her and burns he'll
Rachel:man good luck works. It is so incredibly fortunate that they are the same blood type.
Unknown:Sure, but he didn't reject that donation.
Margie:He keeps her at his lair by everything she needs for at least several days if not a week.
Rachel:You know what? In this?
Margie:Oh, well. They do kiss that was my next note. Great she's still does. She still does not know that he is a vampire despite the fact he's missing an action all day. I think at one point he does so like and literally Leapt Through her window twice. Right.
Unknown:And game gave her his blood twice. Get and gave her Yeah.
Margie:His vampire blood heals her legs so she could walk again. Cool. Oh, that's not how that works.
Unknown:Because I can heal you from burns. But I can't fix your legs.
Rachel:This is the second time he's given her his blood.
Margie:No. That's so instant to her twice but it's like super effective. The second
Unknown:it was just a super effective hit right at the time. Got it? Yeah, the first time in exercising. Yeah, even really blood out. First, it gave her drinking a lot of milk.
Margie:The first time he gave her his blood to it's described that he like massages her throat to get her to swallow. Yeah, there. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown:This, you know,
Rachel:I hated this. And I didn't think I could hate it more.
Margie:No, you will. Well, you will though. Like it's impossible for you not to because we're just at the beginning. Do I need to get my throne? No, not yet. Okay, now that she can walk he sends her to ballet school in France. They're in Italy right now. Yeah.
Rachel:Teen. Also her legs have definitely haven't atrophied by this point. Not
Margie:at all. They're walking around town. She's fine. Like she's like they're dancing like my spine. Lucky magic. Yeah, but
Unknown:there are special snowflakes. Yes.
Margie:Special in this special boy. In the span of five years. She becomes a prima ballerina while he sits in brutes at home.
Unknown:18 To 23 She's a prima ballerina.
Rachel:Yay. But she is legal now. Such a low
Unknown:bar on board. Oh, to be fair in 18 countries like 12 was legal.
Margie:Oh Nikoli Shut up. It's still not okay. Eventually he can't stand it anymore. And he goes to see her perform. By and so like he sees her perform. And he sees that she's living a happy life, but he still can't stay away. He sees her at her place again. And they keep meeting up at night and they almost have sex. And Gabriel realizes her alert is too powerful and he can't stay away for
Rachel:no swiping.
Margie:She says she also says she loves him and never wants to be without him. And a response to that he makes her promise that she will do what he says without questions that they can be together.
Unknown:No, no.
Rachel:I swear that exact same.
Unknown:It's in it's in writing and everything. I tried I said no.
Rachel:So the closest there were a lot of updates in wheelchair technology between like 1650 and 1885. So in 1650, this was a wheelchair.
Unknown:Oh, that looks like fun. More than a vampire carrying you around.
Rachel:I'm sorry. There's one more that was in 1760. And it's like a tiny carriage.
Margie:That's it. I picked actually dope. I want to ride around.
Rachel:Which would feel bougie as hell.
Unknown:I'm here for it. Alright.
Margie:Um, Sarah has another friend who dances alongside her at the ballet Maurice, and he has asked for Sara's hand in marriage. Sara originally said yes. But now that Gabriel's around she's like, I can't do it now his mate. Sorry. That seems unimportant. But I assure you Maurice is an important character. Okay,
Rachel:next thing, we're male ballerinas a thing in 1800. So
Margie:after Sarah, after Sarah pleads with Gabrielle. They do have sex. And then he immediately hates himself for it. He's D purified yours. D purified her. He has deflowered if you will. He did not replace that water filter. They so to get back into it. So after Sarah pleads with Gabrielle they do have sex. Right hates himself for it naturally as you do. Joey all
Unknown:the healthy coping mechanisms.
Margie:They continue this charade. He meets her after dark. They have sex he leaves before he hated himself for Yeah, it doesn't matter. She's
Unknown:good that much.
Margie:Yeah, he's not that worried about the Brita filter anymore. She's
Rachel:okay, but you should have seen her when she was seven years old.
Margie:She still does not know that he's a vampire. But she's getting frustrated as his unwillingness to tell her anything. Maurice is very suspicious of Gabrielle he's convinced something's up with him. Anyone who
Rachel:wears a tuxedo during the day out in public All right. He does he's ever after. Right? Sorry. He's a fan.
Margie:He even tries to follow Gabriel back to his French cottage layer a couple of times. The first time he fails as Gabriel turns into mist. But the second watch is Gabriel go into a boarded up cottage on the edge of town and he's like, this is weird. He's super rich. Why is he doing this?
Unknown:So he doesn't question him just disappearing into follow him again.
Margie:He finds that very creepy. And he tells Sarah about he's like, dude, this guy's not good. I saw this guy turn into mist and she's like, stop talking about my boyfriend. I really want
Unknown:to daddy I love him.
Margie:Gabriel Daddy will so I was cheating on Rachel telling the story. And she was like, she could say that. So she was like so the Phantom of the Opera. So like, this is the Phantom of the Opera. Right? That was like just wait. Oh, darn. Oh, so Maurice tries to warn Sarah that hey, something's up. Your dude is weird as fuck, but she doesn't believe him. But she is persuaded to go check out of the cottage. And when she gets to the cottage, she hears Gabriel's voice in her mind saying telling her to turn back like get out of here. Do not be here. I turned back Sarah
Unknown:to leave David Bowie in my head and I'm sad. Oh, now there's a mullet. And all right. A really good codpiece.
Margie:Yes. Yeah, extra large there. The next night Gabrielle tries to create like a cover story and she's not having it. And so he's like, okay, then we're done. I can't give you any answers as to who I really am. They meet one more time after this. But Gabriel after that is really like I can't do this to her anymore. I've done like I'm gonna let her live her life like and but Maurice is like yeah, not good enough. And he wraps Gabriel's layer up with garlic and holy water. So homeboy can't leave the cottage.
Rachel:You're gonna say saran wrap. Like he's playing a cool High School prank.
Unknown:Just wraps the doorway and saran wrap. So when he tries to run out he just runs What is this? What is this magical place?
Margie:Um, basically homeboy almost starves to death because he can't leave the cottage right so you can't get any of that good day cumin blood. Good, good.
Unknown:Good good human blood
Margie:because of fuck you magic. Right before homeboys about to die Sara hears this voice in her mind calling her to him. She goes out to the cottage and offers hers offers him some fresh hot blood because she finally puts all the clues together realizes Hey, he's a vampire.
Rachel:Do you think the girl Oh, holy water is what to do with it?
Margie:Maybe like sleeping in the basement? Or something? So in a box,
Rachel:okay, do we if we ever established in this world the rules for turning someone into a vampire?
Margie:Like yes, well, but I will say this, it's not explained well at all. Okay,
Rachel:because in previous books, the rules have been, like exchanging blood three times. Ah, ah, Sesame Street, there's another one of our favorite fandoms
Margie:we need to get up a Treasure Island and there's so
Unknown:there's still time.
Rachel:There's still time. So I'm assuming she doesn't become a vampire.
Margie:No, I think my remember now is that so you have to drain the person of almost other blood drink almost all their blood to the point of dying and then off the vampire offers the human. Okay, I've read that. And that's the transformation sequence of empiric blood transfusion got it? Yeah, he he drinks her blood after pages and pages of telling her to get the fuck out and then has a long period of self loathing naturally. So at this point, Gabrielle realizes he's he has blood bound her to him. Oops. So he's like,
Rachel:I gotta get binding.
Margie:I've got to get out of here. I have to give her the chance of a normal life. So I need to leave so that she can like try to find somebody else will be happy. Too late. It's too late. He returns to Italy and it's like I'm never going back to France. I'll let her let her live her life when suddenly surprise villain appears.
Unknown:Yes. Oh.
Margie:We're more than halfway.
Unknown:Okay. Gabriel was our villain. bear, bear?
Rachel:normal functioning human a Dory. No,
Margie:no, he's he's got the villa.
Unknown:So we have tell me about murder.
Margie:How about the surprise villain his creator and to Nina appears. She's like,
Unknown:Oh, sexy lady villain. Hell yeah. She's
Margie:like, let's hook up. It's been literally ages. And he's like, No, I'm too. broody. Peace out.
Rachel:How old is she?
Margie:She's way I think she's much older than him. But I cool. I
Rachel:like her a lot. She's my favorite. She is she's not the villain. She's my hero.
Margie:And antamina does not take that well and threatened Sarah's life. It's like you fell in love with this other bitch. How dare you? And he's like, Don't you dare and she's like, Oh, I they're still
Rachel:my hero.
Unknown:So hopefully is age appropriate? Yes, yes. She though cuz depending on the map and how much older you could still have the same age gap.
Margie:They both look like adults.
Unknown:And adults the least concerning part of this. Now let's really drill down on
Margie:low. Bar. Let's dive in here. All right. So homeboy returns to Sarah to protect her. Um, it doesn't go well. Sarah gets kidnapped once and is easily rescued by homeboy and Maurice the second kidnapping does not go as well. So which kidnapping
Unknown:So wait, homeboy Marie's are now teaming up to save Sarah?
Margie:Yeah, cuz they're both in love with Sarah. But Sarah really only loves homeboy.
Unknown:Sarah Well, she's kind of blood bonded to him. Right? Exactly. blamer
Margie:right. So um, the second kidnapping does not go as well. Homeboy nearly gets killed and Maurice does actually die so Oh, so holy shit. Oh, Blake is Maurice the option A become a vampire because he's about to die. Maurice has like been stabbed or some shit. Or B. Let me drink your blood. So I can go save Sarah and Maurice chooses option B and yeah, homeboy drinks more. Whoa,
Rachel:hold up. Pause. We have already established that in order to turn someone into a vampire. They have to drink almost all of that person's blood
Margie:any way he kills Maurice, though, like he drinks his blood to death. Yeah,
Rachel:but it didn't turn him into a vampire. He still would have drink almost. Oh, I think Gabriel is just an asshole.
Margie:Laurie's didn't want to become a vampire. Gabrielle was trying to give him that choice. He didn't want to become a vampire didn't
Rachel:need to be a choice though.
Unknown:Could it just lay him bleed out by himself on the street?
Rachel:Right? He is being such a Giovanni right now.
Margie:Oh my God fucking Giovanni. What the fuck?
Unknown:You're being such a Giovanni? Oh my god,
Margie:I'm so and oh, god this is where happened don't have what I thought you would say oh did
Unknown:I say? You said no?
Margie:I thought you said or because I gave you option A or B let me drink your blood and that I said c or I don't know find the doctor Wow.
Unknown:But he had the discussion about the lack of proper medical care in 1800 enrolled doctors out
Margie:option D give him some of your blood because
Unknown:that's right. I could have added another tick tomorrow. But instead he went with option E and just said nom out in the streets. No, no, no he won't. He won't be. He drank his Oh, that's right. Yeah, let him drink all of his blood. Yeah, for camera.
Rachel:Like, I don't know man. The number of potholes in this book is concerning to me.
Margie:It's a Nina berries. Sarah a lie.
Unknown:Wait, what's my potholes?
Margie:Um, dude, Anthony
Rachel:in his metal as fuck and I love her. She definitely wears red. So no.
Margie:Oh antamina Berry Sarah alive. Yep, I love her. Um, homeboy shows up to Anthony and offers himself up on a silver platter to save Sarah's life. Homeboy agrees to be with antamina Until the day Sara dies. Sarah, oh, Sarah's like, fuck that shit and pulls Gabrielle away from Anthony and I honestly, I thought she was gonna go the suicide route again. I guess this is improvements. Well,
Unknown:I also bar Yeah,
Margie:yeah. Anthony. Wait, hold on.
Unknown:Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So he said he would be with antamina. Yes. Until Sarah died. Yes. But is Sara still buried at this time?
Margie:He pulls her up out of the ground. He does save her so he doesn't let her die. Yeah. Okay. Say he saves her life. And then he's like, I'm sorry. I gotta go. Sorry, bitch. Fuck this shit. Sorry, I gotta go. You can deal
Unknown:with this on your own. Yeah, gotta go. Yeah, that's
Margie:just even a Maurice to go to Dan.
Unknown:Boy, hey,
Rachel:Hagen. The most unbelievable thing in this entire book is the fact that she is a single woman in the 1800s and is able to do all of this shit.
Margie:Well, so when he sent her to France to go to ballet school, he also sent her with a shit ton of money. So
Rachel:yeah, but she's still a woman. I know. I know. She's dying of syphilis and 12 children which only survived
Margie:black holes too many? Too many. Okay,
Unknown:sure. Okay, what even is history on us? All right,
Margie:so answer to Nina throws Sarah against a wall like hardcore sure that puts Gabrielle in rage mode and rage mode and he stabs antamina through the heart with a wooden part of a cross. So she did metal his shin metal as shit and he like literally feel the cross burning his skin as he's stabbing love Oh my God. All right. All right, guys. Don't worry. We're almost there. We're almost there guys. Are you ready? I'm so ready. She's dead. Yay. Gabrielle and Sarah go back to a hotel.
Unknown:They pay attention. She's dead
Margie:promise themselves to each other. They live happily ever after she stays human and then he steps into the sun when she dies the end psych bitches thought we were died I need to stop stepping to the side when she does live her life as a human with him
Unknown:with him at night.
Rachel:Okay, I wasn't invested now I'm invested. Yeah, right. Yes. Hey with that part too.
Margie:So she dies. I think Sarah Jane dies in like 1940 I think you said this. Well, because she lives her whole human life with him.
Rachel:But 1800 140 100 Oh, I'm sorry. Early 1800 Okay, okay. All right. So
Margie:she is just
Unknown:a side note. Yeah, we talked about Saran Wrap earlier. It was invented in 1949. So she missed saran wrap. Okay, wait,
Rachel:I want to put my money on reincarnation.
Unknown:Oh, you are saying nothing? I think I right.
Margie:It's it's half been 15 years since Sarah's death in 1945 or so. It is down 1995 In the span of time Gabrielle has literally interred himself in the ground next to Sarah and slept for 15 years. I plan
Rachel:I plan on doing
Margie:I will myself you can join me I'm not joining you I am digging you
Rachel:it's gonna be a fucking luxury casket All right? We're gonna have a minibar. We
Margie:can't record a podcast out there is an internet connection priorities.
Unknown:No look by the time Zack dies hopefully Wi Fi will be better and you'll be able to get Wi Fi down there.
Rachel:I'm an electrical engineer. I can figure this out.
Margie:Oh my God kill me. I don't I don't want to
Rachel:hang out with me I'm a vampire. My hotspot
Margie:knocking on her coffin listen to my
Unknown:podcasts. Just got an XFINITY update that the Wi Fi is out in the graveyard so BRP
Margie:Alright, alright. Okay. So the part two wakes up to a new world and like Lucifer moves to Los Angeles buys a big old man. I mean,
Rachel:as you do, you know, as you do this without any passports or identification, or it was the 90s basically pre history.
Margie:He wanders the city at night, you know, being broody at all and notices a girl tracks for
Rachel:LA in the 90s in the mid 90s.
Unknown:Yes, absolutely. That sounds perfect spot for him.
Margie:And he notices a girl sitting in a park by herself most nights she ate no, she's legitimate
Rachel:he probably just because he wasn't her time. Right? She wasn't his time.
Margie:He introduces himself as Gabrielle and she introduces herself as Sarah with an H this time
Rachel:Oh, totally different the show
Unknown:does she specify that?
Margie:No but like the first Sarah is for Sarah was with was Sarah Jane without an age. So yeah. Oh, he does remark remark to himself how much He looks like his
Rachel:Sarah is Sarah. Oh, no. Yeah, his property Sarah. Yeah. He tries
Margie:to stir up a relationship with the Sarah every night. He goes back to that park to see her and they talk even if, like every night weirded out by it. We'll get to that. Okay. Sarah is a recent widow. She lost her baby, her husband and her parents in the same car wreck. Whoa, whoa. She was the only survivor and then I bought a note bitch. Where are your friends? Like if that happened to be like, Rachel, I think you'd adopt me. I mean, I don't say like oh for a week.
Rachel:I wouldn't adopt you. I would go and sit in that park with every night.
Unknown:Oh, I would read the part you're a true
Margie:god okay, so um, he can see that his that this Sarah has lost her entire family and is grieving. Yay. Mind reading is about to say.
Unknown:How can he see and it's primo opportunity to jump in on it. invasion of privacy. No, not at all. No. Does he still have a mullet? No idea. Yeah. The 90s He has a rat tail, huh?
Margie:No. Um, so this girl Sarah is guarded and when she wants to like when she wants to leave the park. This changes later. Now
Unknown:Just keep going so
Margie:they keep me this way really awkwardly in the park meeting
Rachel:originally in a park that I won't
Margie:let you leave, you asked earlier, the reason why she goes to this park is because it's the park that she and her daughter would go and play at when our daughter was still alive. It's healthy to go. Oh, night it's just like at night because she doesn't she only sleeps during the day.
Unknown:Are you okay? Yeah, no, that hurts. Oh, it's all good. Anything with kids just like, oh, it gets me.
Margie:Oh, literal physical pain because my heart is dead. So I just did.
Unknown:I'm not sure.
Margie:There you go. Got diabetes. I'm done with you're gonna go? Yeah. Um, so the keep meeting this way really awkwardly in the park. And when they should just sort of snaps it's the night ever fourth wedding anniversary with her now deceased husband. And she like likes just starts like screaming at Gabrielle. And it's like, Why the fuck did this happen? Like, I'm so angry. Like, how could this happen? I don't understand. And um, he does his signature move of picking her up in his arms and carry and he tries to carry her back to her apartment. Because, you know, he knows where she lives at this point. He was on the cover. Cover. Um, I think she's mostly wearing jeans in the part two.
Rachel:Now I got it. The one on the cover is the one from the Charleston era.
Margie:Yeah, exactly. Because he's older home at this point, obviously. So he knows where she was. No, yes. But she's like, but she's like, I don't want to go back home. There's too many memories there. So he brings her to his mansion.
Rachel:She she had four years to leave that house. Also, did he
Margie:support the anniversary of her husband's of their anniversary like their wedding? died recently? Oh, they died. Bear. Okay,
Rachel:nevermind. But also second problem with that. Did he just not have any problem accessing his money in banks that he hasn't touched for 50 years or? No? No, thank you.
Margie:They very, very lightly explained that. Like, put it away and sort of trust before he went before.
Unknown:Rachel. Rachel, I don't know if you're aware with the fucking magic, but that's the thing.
Rachel:Alternatively, Alternatively, he buried it in a treasure chest. And he's also a pirate now. Well, so
Margie:also
Unknown:Oh, when you're
Rachel:Treasure Island. There. You
Margie:got it good. puts her in a bed in his mansion. Because he has a bed because obviously
Rachel:I mean, he's a sex vampire. Of course he hasn't been in his mansion. That's
Margie:not why when oh that's when she starts to freak out. He hypnotizes her to put her to sleep.
Unknown:Oh, no, no, I'm not okay with this. Is it bad that like the mind control is the part that I have the most issue with in this book.
Margie:The pedophilia or the mind control, but I understand
Unknown:that I get out of my head. The answer is yes.
Margie:Yes. Rachel, you have thoughts? Please tell me them need to know
Rachel:has pedophilia mind control happened yet? No. Okay. All right.
Margie:Well, so here's the let's throw a question out there though. What would he have done if he saw the Sarah at night with in this accident had not happened and he saw her with her family. He probably
Rachel:plot wouldn't have given a shit. It's just what twist? He created
Unknown:the accident. Oh, he
Margie:was injured in the ground. He wasn't turned in the ground.
Unknown:Telekinesis powers? Oh, they're still alive questions talking with their brain. Let's
Margie:question sorry. Let's question this once we get to the end of the book. Okay. All right. All right. All right. Okay. She sleeps through the night and through the next day. It's not clear if this is called as Gabriel. Okay, but goals Nichols and when she wakes up the next evening. Gabrielle is there she takes a shower and when she comes out she has she joins Gabriel for a glass of wine. And she has some she's like so you have no girlfriend? No wife. No feminine person living here you are is it wine? Wait, wait, wait. No, hold on. Is wine. No feminine person living here. So why is the room I was staying in so feminine. There's pink everywhere. Okay. cuz that's feminine.
Rachel:I mean that does like that. Yeah, you can only be a girl if you if you're a girl you can only wear pink. That's why I'm wearing pink right now. Yes. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. What? No, no.
Margie:Like I made it for you
Unknown:don't like it
Margie:you made her a room Rachel. You made her
Unknown:own Hang on, I have to adjust my settings. What did you do?
Margie:Did you turn off the camera broke so, um, this causes her to freak out, understandably so, and she flees his mansion. She gives her his car for her to take home.
Unknown:This is something like 50 shades crap.
Margie:How does she fleep He gives her her car. That's just so letting her she tries to run up to the mansion door and it's locked and she's like freaking so she can't figure out how to open it. So he like gently comes behind her. I'm saying gently because it's described that way. I'm sorry. And he like unlocks the door and gets these keys. So she goes home but not long after she returns ostensibly to return his car keys but she admits that she missed him. No. Play have one more after that. She she does leave that day. They have another awkward meetup in the park where Gabrielle is now 100% certain that Sarah is Sarah Jane reincarnate.
Rachel:Okay, one how to. Why would you keep going back to that park?
Margie:Oh, because they want to meet it's like this weird thing where like, they're both middle schoolers who are like, Hey, I know that that guy hangs out over there. I should just kind of like randomly be hanging out over there. Three. Does
Unknown:he still have the mullet? No, these are the question. I don't
Margie:know. That is a priority question.
Rachel:Were detector the book I need to know when this was published.
Unknown:Oh my god. No, it was published in 1995 theory,
Rachel:then why is it an 80s as fuck I have no idea.
Unknown:My theory is because there are two pictures of him and both have the bullet. He has the bullet with the first Sarah and the second Sarah and I'm not okay.
Rachel:Oh shit. You're right. Hang on.
Margie:A Molly in the 1800s that makes even less sense.
Rachel:Martines why wouldn't you have a Moulton? 1800s I'm
Margie:sorry. I don't remember my last reincarnation.
Rachel:You could be ahead of your time.
Unknown:So she died in like 1895 ish, right? 19? Four. No, she died in 1940 1940. So yes, she. So he's just wearing a mullet and a suit this entire time? Well, no, I'm just curious about the properties of reincarnation because traditionally as soon as you die, you are reincarnated. So is she like 55?
Rachel:Yeah, she'd be like, 50 something she's got? She's not 50 Well, or
Unknown:did she like to live for a little while and
Margie:I'm just I'm going with what this
Rachel:book has to say. You arguing with religion? How dare you? How
Unknown:dare I'm sorry. There were no bullets in 1800 Men's hairstyles according to are you looking it up? There's a lot of beard and mustache. Okay. Oh my god. right on track.
Margie:So, here we go. I'm
Unknown:distinctly out of style in 1995 he
Margie:on that day, he begs her to win when when he's like, Okay. This is definitely Sarah Jane. He begs the new Sarah to come back to his mansion. She does they have sex? She leaves. But how does Oh, he he like he feels it in his heart. Rachel
Unknown:Right Rachel is I love the body. You have that connection and you just know you have a connection to cheese curds. Five, this could be Sarah reincarnated daughter.
Margie:Oh, so Sarah and him never had children.
Unknown:But no, I'm saying if Sarah died and was reincarnated. Oh Jesus,
Rachel:might by the laws of reincarnation. If she was Sarah reincarnated daughter, then Sarah would have had to die and Sarah incarnated would have had to die in childbirth. still possible. still
Margie:possible. Yeah.
Unknown:Nothing's off the table at this point.
Margie:It's like a Kikyo in my situation.
Rachel:And there's a new Yoshua we're bringing it in All in. We are not right. God we are not bringing Lord of the Rings into this. Oh we are to treasure No, no, no.
Unknown:Harry Potter reference, don't you worry.
Margie:So she goes back to her apartment they kind of spend a couple of weeks apart from one another but one night he just shows up at her place, picks her up off of the couch, takes her back to his mansion with like superspeed and he tells her he's like look, you're Sarah Jane, you are my wife in a past life. And she starts having flashbacks of a past life she starts remembering being Sarah Jane. Oh, as you do is that the book? Yes. Yes, that's how that works. Um homeboys Okay, I gotta get to this like Spark hate it so much. A lot of times I read this do it homeboys like Look you've got three options you can a great excuse me the weights set state you can agree to be my wife again in this life or you can either become a slave to me I'll blood bond you to me or you can become a vampire like me
Unknown:Gabriel someone get the water spray bottle Notes version of Sarah get the option to be blood bonded to him because the last one didn't have a choice. Yeah, yeah. So maybe those 50 years underground did him some good and he's giving her options. Oh, and to be fair,
Rachel:I I I personally expected blood bonding to go through like reincarnation so I actually kind of expected her to already be blood bonded because previous
Margie:candies with him like she said. Like six pack of six pack.
Unknown:Yeah a lot of chicken tenders.
Rachel:Honey Mustard with it though.
Margie:Barbecue. Sounds good. So as but as creepy as what he said before was slash is. I think what's even creepier is what he says is like she's like, I want to go home. I don't want to do this. I want to go home and in response, he says you are home
Unknown:okay, all right. Okay, finish it out.
Margie:I gotta do a super bad so he doesn't. So he dropped. He does. He picks her up. He dropped her off at home. He's like, I'm sorry. I did that to you. I'm sorry. I'm such a douche canoe. I will leave you alone. I will never see you
Unknown:sorry, means nothing. In this case. Three weeks later,
Margie:she goes to his mansion and he is ready to step into the sun. He like fuck this noise. Yeah, now I'm tired. Do it Do you also was not had any blood three weeks. So I'll let you keep going. So she just shows up and it's like, blood.
Rachel:Does he turn her into a vampire? No.
Margie:And so they she drinks a little blood and then they're like, Okay, then they have sex of course. And they're like, Okay, so we're gonna spend our lives together again. She's in love with him for whatever reason. I've just been reading through this. So guys, we got a Blade Runner this so he got some of her blood. And then he's like, so you're gonna live here now? Right? And she's like, yep. And he's like, and she's like, but I want to get a job and he's like, No, with that. Alright, alright. Alright. So eventually they so she's kind of they're both uncomfortable with the situation like he doesn't want to be a vampire. She didn't like the fact that he's a vampire. So like maybe there's a cure for vampire ism. So the consult is really really old vampire who says yes, there is a cure for vampire ism but it also has a high probability of killing you so cool. Basically have power of love power love power love Come on power love. It's basically have a white witch chant some spells over you while you have some dope herbs and then step into the sun. All Hallows Eve and then you might become human.
Unknown:You might
Margie:guess in my
Unknown:job All right, so you just need to be treated fucking
Margie:terrific so much. You were willing to die like you're like yeah.
Unknown:Like whatever. Yeah, give it a shot. Plot twist. I've been tripping balls this whole time and I'm not a vampire. I'm just
Margie:unfortunately, there's your problem. Super old man. I'm tired betrays them because he doesn't want Gabriel to become human again. Why? Because he's like, but then you'll know all of our vampire secrets and like we can't let that getting out and
Unknown:he already knows all of his vampire so yeah, but
Margie:like getting out to the mortal world you
Unknown:can already talk to people. Right?
Margie:But like but wow so like so now I'm the old vampire tries to kill Gabriel neither really succeed tries to kill Sarah nearly succeeds except Gabriel's like have some of my blood and she's like cool so she has some of his blood.
Rachel:Oops. Oh, blood binding.
Margie:Oh, yeah. Tada. They are now Bloodbound she's a slave like, yeah, when she she got
Unknown:that job she was
Margie:okay, so when our girl wakes up, and she's separated from him after this whole ordeal, she has a panic attack and goes and snuggles with him in his coffin.
Unknown:Sure. Oh, god, he's
Rachel:not dealing with a dead body gets me off every time because
Margie:she can't stand to be away from him. When they both wake up, she agrees to become a vampire at the end. But the what? At the end, so my boat when they both wake up, she agrees to become a vampire at the end,
Unknown:Mikey. I really like you. But um there are a lot of Oh,
Margie:I did. It's okay. But there is one thing, I guess. So there's this ad in the back of the book for like a romance like subscription. I have one of those. Right, exactly. Well, so it was actually a phone number. So you call I didn't call? Oh, yes. I called the number and they were like, Thank you for agreeing to take the survey for the chance to win a Bahamas vacation. Full shift was also for people who are like 50 and above. Oh, yeah. Sorry, we are not rating this. We have
Unknown:decided it's Well, that's fair. So I decided
Margie:we're not going to read this because it is so problematic. But I think that we should I was thinking that we should go specific into the reasons why it's problematic. Alright, just kind of lay them out. And then that that that will be the writing
Rachel:is it maybe that she is considered to be completely dependent on society until she meets a man that is obsessed with her and that's the only way that she can be defined as a human.
Margie:Also, that happens in two different time periods. Two different time relays which
Rachel:honestly, twice, look no, that's impressive.
Unknown:Oh, the pedophilia? Yes. Feel? Yeah. How did we forget about minor league, a minor league
Margie:you're keeping that the fact that he really seems to prey on people who are vulnerable. So like a girl paraplegic in an orphanage in like 1880. And then a young woman in 1995, who's literally lost everything months before.
Rachel:Also, here's something I just thought. That's interesting. And I don't know why I didn't put two and two together before in both timelines, because time is illusion. Yeah, she had to lose someone in order to be with him. Yes.
Unknown:Yes. And then the first one isn't that kind of like the vampiric mo though that they prey on vulnerable at it? Yeah, it's women. Perfect.
Margie:Okay, so I think we've Is there any other like meat I mean, there's so many
Unknown:honestly we've talked a lot so the
Margie:the hypnotism is really problematic. The mind reading? Yeah. Kidnapping, jamming. It's not even
Rachel:gonna go and all the fucking plotholes Okay, now he magically lives in 1995 society with all those technological advances. Computers are holding now.
Unknown:Side. Oh, go ahead. Sign up. I wasn't able to like combust things because mine come up
Margie:she sees so what the reason I say that is because when he brings the new Sarah back to his mansion, he like sets a fire in with just the heat. Just the
Unknown:heat of his gait, the heat of his loins. Oh God that's why was he staring at
Margie:her neck and the cover? Because her blood he's like constantly that's how she
Unknown:died in 1940 Think what did you think that he was gonna come bust her neck? Yeah.
Margie:I also Well, so here's the other thing is that when he starts to either get lusty or literally blood nice turned red
Unknown:Oh, that was a question I was gonna have whenever he was first described or his eyes a diamond colored or a gem colored I think going game. Do we play the game?
Margie:Yeah, let me see if I
Unknown:Yeah, no, no, I
Margie:color but yeah, I don't
Unknown:know. It's not No, I'll take it.
Rachel:It's fine if we can be best friends. Best friends. Oh,
Unknown:Ashley, just real quick. I know we have to wrap this up. But Ashley just took the cover and Googled Rose McGowan. And it's the same person is Rose McGowan. screenshots.
Rachel:please do send that shape to us pulleys. Yeah, you'll get a lot
Unknown:going on the gram. Yeah, sorry. We send a lot of pictures to each other.
Margie:Yes, please, please, please, please. Alright, so,
Rachel:so I got ultimately, as we've discussed throughout the course of summarizing this episode, it's real fucked up. And we're not going to write the show. No,
Margie:no, I'm not going to write that's fair.
Unknown:No. So,
Rachel:uh, you so much for listening. Thank you for hanging on to that. Right. Yeah. Jesus. Right. And thank you
Margie:so much. It is a strange
Unknown:drinking wine. Oh, my God. You guys, thank you so much for having us on. Because I'm so happy right now. And Amanda Ashley should be
Margie:I really should have done more research on Amanda Ashley. Okay. Okay. All right. Covers, but still to
Rachel:Ala near you. Thank you. Thanks so much for the use of your song. Oh, love off the album be held. Gotta get that in there. Yeah. And hey, y'all, Thanks for holding on to that motherfucking ride. Yeah,
Margie:appreciate it. And thank you to the ladies of string. Yes.
Rachel:Thank you ladies straight. You want to go ahead and plug your plug holes one last time. Everyone's posting
Unknown:me okay. Hi, we're lazy. Strange. You can find us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and we do have a website, the Legion strange.com
Margie:And they are genuinely just awesome podcasts. So you should just go out and listen to them. We love them. 100% Yeah, wonderful. Sense of Humor is awesome and talking about horrible things and it's great. So
Unknown:coping mechanisms and coping mechanism. Yeah, yeah. And
Margie:your little your Brian at the beginning is so hard. Oh. Goodbye. Say goodbye really quick. Jesus Christ.
Unknown:Ready? Okay,
Rachel:so it has to be in like a singsong voice like yours. All right. So we're gonna do it together. Hey, thank you guys for listening. This is gonna be a fucking mess to edit. It is I'm so sorry. All
Unknown:right. Okay, all right.