Textual Tension

Ep. 52: A Heart Condition Called Love (feat. Movie Virgins)

September 08, 2020 Textual Tension Season 1 Episode 52
Textual Tension
Ep. 52: A Heart Condition Called Love (feat. Movie Virgins)
Show Notes Transcript

Have you watched one of the most viewed movie of 2020 on Netflix yet? Don't worry. We've done it for you! Listen in as Margie tells Rachel, along with Leah and Lindsay of Movie Virgins, about 365 DNI. Turns out, problematic romance tropes don't work well in film form either.

Rachel:

Hello, and welcome to textual tension. I am your co host a Rachel and every other week I jump on in here and tell you what the heck is going on in our little world. And I just have one question for you guys. Yeah, you lost baby girl. Yeah, it's gonna be really relevant here in a hot minute. So hey guys, welcome back, we have something super duper special and fun for you. Today, we're doing something a little different. And instead of reviewing a book, we're reviewing a movie, but it's like a super relevant movie, and you're gonna love it. So I'm going to get try to get you there as fast as possible. Hey, oh. So let's go through all that basic stuff, right? You know where to hit us up on all of our social media. That is textual tension pod across the board at everything. And you can hit us up on our Patreon at patreon.com/textual tension at our website, textual tension pod.com. And hey, shoot us an email at textual tension pod@gmail.com If Patreon if you want to support us on Patreon is not currently in the cards that is totally okay. And we absolutely love you for it. Share us, please with everybody you know, everyone you think that would enjoy our little beautiful little podcast, we really really, really, really, really, really would appreciate that. That is actually how we get our the word out about us. We do not pay to advertise the show at all and your guys's support rates reviews, spreading the word really helps us we really appreciate that. I have a quick announcement on that announcement. I have a quick heads up about this, this episode in particular. So we went ahead and did this crossover episode with the movie versions podcast, which is amazing. Go check it out. And we were trying out some new audio recording software. And as with all new software, no matter how many times you do it, and you know, mess around with it beforehand, you're always gonna have a couple issues. So the audio on this, there's a couple hiccups, I did my best. It really is an amazing episode. So I hope you will look past that and go and listen. And it's it's an absolute blast, as well. And on top of that, we lost a little bit of the opening inch audio, nothing crazy, just the intro them are introducing themselves that kind of thing. It cuts in at when Margie is giving us the cover of the movie. So I'm going to do my best to recreate what that might have sounded like. And hey, thanks to the magic of editing and podcasting. You can tomorrow that is Wednesday, September 9. Go check out us on movie virgins where we all get together. Thanks to time being an illusion. We have all watched the movie at that point. And we're discussing our thoughts and there are many. So hey, go check that out tomorrow. Again, it was a blast recorded them and thank you movie Virgin's it was so much fun. And if you have listened to all of this, and have made it all the way through this, then congratulations you won't be confused after the intro music when it comes to us trying to recreate that. If you haven't, you can everyone listening can laugh at them. And I think the last thing that I have for you guys if you have made it all the way through this, how about that romance novel wisdom for the week. Here is your bi weekly romance novel wisdom, my friends. If a man kidnaps you, in order to help make you fall in love with him, it is not okay. Unless he gives you at least three over the top shopping montage. So without further ado, please enjoy episode 50 to a heart condition called Love tearing me apart from Alright, let's do this. This is probably how it went. Okay. Hello, and welcome to sexual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels. I am your co host Rachel and I'm your co host Margie. Every other week one of us watches and summarizes a romance movie for the other unsuspecting co host this week, Margie me it watched a movie, which is you might notice different and together we unpack what the fuck just happened. And hey, guys, it is a little different today, huh? Movies, not usually our jam. So we have enlisted a little bit of help on this particular adventure, because we're gonna need it. And we are joined by movie virgins. Hi guys. Do you want to go ahead and introduce yourselves? Sure. RACHEL and Margie. Hi, I'm Lindsay and I'm Leah. And we're the movie versions. So every week one of us watches a movie they've never seen before. That's the Virgin and the other co host who has seen it before. They get together and they talk about it. And we are super happy to be here on this wonderful podcast. That's amazing. And we love so much, guys. I know I'm so happy you're here. We love your podcast, too. Everyone should go check them out. They're absolutely wonderful. Thanks, Rachel. I know. And, and hey, um, you know, you really should come check us out. We have a lot of fun. We just kind of sit and have a really great conversation about these movies. I know Rachel, your favorite is the discussion we had about Thor Ragnarok. And our podcast is amazing. And everyone should listen to it. Well, thank you guys so much for coming on. We really appreciate it. There's no way we'd be able to discuss 360 dni or 360 days without your help. I so Margie. Alright, let's get into it. Yeah, that's probably how that went. Okay. Take it away past everybody.

Margie:

Okay. All right. So let's do this. Let's jump right into this movie, shall we?

Rachel:

Good Lord. Oh, good. God. Okay, that's a lot of boobs. Um, also, if you're wondering it has, that's 3.3 at a 10 on I am

Unknown:

not that bad. Yeah, no, I'm really I've seen worse. 80% of Google users liked this movie. Leo likes absolute crap movies. So she might like me

Rachel:

that I was forced to while you're gonna have to be looking at who did troll sex. That's a great movie.

Unknown:

If you haven't seen it, I think it's still streaming on Hulu. It's called Porter. It's Swedish. You gotta watch it. Okay, sure. Sing.

Rachel:

Good Lord. It was yeah, it was interesting. All right. All right. Okay. Describe

Margie:

describe it or describe it though. Okay.

Rachel:

Describe it feel free to jump in at any point. So it is a woman with no shirt on. I'm assuming no clothes at all. And there's a dude behind her. Who has like his mouth is near her neck. And he's seemingly looking at the camera and she's like doing like this Oh, kind of face. And he's definitely just copping a field right on one of them boobs with at least he's covering the nips. So you know, there's that a good handful, but it's not great. Yeah, it's like his hand just perfect size for them.

Unknown:

Yeah, they seem like a really good match

Rachel:

on Yeah.

Unknown:

Harry is a strong like not really veiny Yeah, no we hairy man arm is very masculine all the better yeah. Naked

Rachel:

and it's polish so I'm sure it's pretty cold Are there no

Margie:

Sicily? No, no. Traveler

Unknown:

he has nicely facial hair as well. I'm

Rachel:

very, very much

Unknown:

an arm but more than a metrosexual face. Camera and therefore looking at me like this bitches mine. Yep. Which is a little. Yeah, a little off putting off the same time.

Rachel:

Can I just say that? No one's boobs are that perky when they're not wearing a bra?

Unknown:

No, either. He's doing no excellent job at supporting or there are things inside.

Rachel:

It's yet he's taking the place of a boost. Yay. Because he's boosting her. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So okay, I'm gonna read first of all 3.3 out of 10 on IMDb. And I'm gonna read this description. MASSIMO mafia family and Laura is a Sales Director strong opening now I know what the characters are good. She does not expect that on a trip to Sicily trying to save her relationship. MASSIMO will kidnap her and give her 365 days to fall in love with him. And that's it. That's the description. So it's not I don't I don't think that that I don't think that anyone expects to be kidnapped.

Margie:

Really a kidnapping though that isn't just kind of like, oh, you showed up? I guess we're gonna go adventure. I mean, if it's not consensual that it's kidnapping, but like, What if you knew that it was gonna happen? We're like, Okay,

Rachel:

I mean, it's just going on a trip. Sure.

Margie:

Surprise vacation.

Rachel:

No, it's slightly

Unknown:

like it's touch. Um, yeah, maybe it's just some really intense roleplay

Margie:

Yeah, I think there are companies that there's like a castle episode where like, they could be like secret agents or something. You could be like a secret agent for a day, or like a week or something and it was like a paid for vacation. So I wonder. Maybe you can do like a couples trip.

Unknown:

Going to Sicily. I would be 100% and on let's do the whole Old School mafia roleplay like yes mafioso come on yeah all right so

Rachel:

I would make it like a fucking scavenger hunt

Margie:

with a alright so here we go we got we've got our triggers, which is human trafficking physical abuse sexual assault, gun violence murder and you're not napping yet napping, meaning you're kidnaps onto a

Unknown:

cat. Gotcha. Yeah. Oh, there's an implication. Implication. Well,

Rachel:

Margie yacht violence Yes.

Margie:

There's a lot of Halyard happening for a lot of yacht. Okay, a lot of yacht. So, this like it said in the little thing, a little summary like it said in the summary. This movie is between two characters Laura and Massimo Massimo is head of an Italian Mafia and Laura, I put in a note it says there's a scripture and she's a sales director or something. But I put into my notes. I'm really, really sure what she does, like there's a scene where she sort of wrote this guy who works for her company at the very beginning of the of the film, but it mostly just shows she's a badass. It doesn't really say anything about what she does for a living. Yeah, okay.

Unknown:

You didn't know she has a job because otherwise she couldn't afford to go to Sicily.

Margie:

She had she has very high paying job like she seems to be like pretty bougie and her best friend is pretty bougie too so especially in this day and age when nobody can afford to be bougie she must make a good amount of money. Okay, so the first thing that happens in this movie it's a flashback Masimo from the present day Massimo is on an island of the Mediterranean Sea with his father who is the current mob boss of their like mob boss fat mob family right there mafia family they are making a deal with another mob for about for child human trafficking.

Rachel:

Oh, good, strong opening.

Margie:

So mafia like these other guys who are from the other mafia are like hey, we've got it as young as 12 Like literally that's what they say.

Unknown:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

Margie:

no and Muslim his father to his credit refuses and it's like this is not really what we do. Like we're more drugs and Berta, you guys were like a step further. Like we're not really do that. So hey,

Rachel:

listeners, if you're interested in hearing all about human trafficking and how and it's unrealistic representation in media, a interview Yeah, an episode and an interview with the director of abolitionists, Ohio, so go check that out. It's on her feet. Yes, a while ago,

Margie:

but just say, anyway, it's almost like Masimo, who was there with his dad is like, these guys are assholes. Fuck them. And Muslimahs dad is like, Yeah, but they're also potential business partners in the future. So we need to be respectful. Like we might not buy kids, but who knows, maybe we'll buy some drugs or guns or something.

Unknown:

Maybe in the future, maybe. Maybe.

Margie:

And in that scene, Massimo actually has some binoculars and he is eyeing this girl on the beach. Like he's just kind of scraping it's not at all he's just kind of stalking her watching her she loved the beach like doo doo doo. And the dad is like your let me see the binoculars and he sees what Massimo is seeing. And he's kind of like his dad is like focus up Simba. Because one day all of this will be yours. You know, all of this child trafficking will be yours.

Rachel:

My eyes are up here. Excuse me. My mafia family is up here.

Margie:

So, so bad. Very suddenly, shots ring out. A sniper shot kills Maximos father and wounds maxima. So done. Moscow's dad is dead. And so now Massimo is head of his mafia family.

Rachel:

All right, you've heard of foreshadowing. But have you heard of like current shadowing, where he says, Hey, this thing's gonna happen and then it happened that day

Margie:

so we fast forward to five years into the future. Masimo is dramatically sitting at a sink circular board table in a fancy office building in presumably America, as you know that it's America because someone also sitting at that same like circular board table is like says like, you can't do this. This is America. And I'm like, that's really naive.

Unknown:

You can do whatever the fuck you want.

Margie:

In America, America. Rolls, right.

Rachel:

It's America. America. No rules. Not at all right?

Margie:

Well, it's a and it's insinuated that in this scene, Massimo blackmails the other businessmen and women women in the office. So he gets a bunch of money from them. He steals a bunch of money from them, essentially. And another scene that's kind of happening simultaneously like they're cut together, right? Laura is kicking ass by uncovering another guy's mistake on her team, essentially. So that at least that's that's what I understood was happening in the exchange wasn't really clear to me. She's a badass. So we've come from that. Basically both these scenes are meant to show that both these people are badass is right. And the next scene implies that they are both very horny, sexually motivated, what's the damn word because he or she is taking pictures of herself in just her bra in the back of a cab. And he is watching a video of a girl named Anna and dressing on his phone. So next scene, Laura comes home to her boyfriend Omar teen, and tries to start start some sexy time with him and he's just not interested. And he's like, let's not do sexy times with your weak heart. Okay, um, also she's,

Rachel:

I have a headache.

Margie:

Exactly. Also, so like they're leaving for her to go on a trip tomorrow for her birthday to Sicily from Poland. And he's like, oh, yeah, also, don't you have to pack for us? Like, don't you have to get ready for the trip? She's packing for him.

Unknown:

I'm not I'm not liking any of this. Like she has to get naked when she feels sexy. But the guy feels sexy. Masimo feel sexy, and he's watching girls get naked and then. Yeah, yeah, and then it's

Rachel:

gross. If my partner ever asked me to pack for him for an Italian vacation, all of his luggage would just be thought I'm sorry. It's the only swimsuit you have to wear it.

Margie:

thong. Nah, okay. Okay. Okay, so she is like leaning over the couch to like kiss him from above her boyfriend Martine, right? And the kissing is just remarkably loud, just weirdly loud. And I recreated the sound in my room just to myself to see how loud it was how hard it was to create the sound and I woke up my cat from a nap

Unknown:

Are you gonna you're gonna do it first now No, no

Margie:

don't align Okay, let me see. Oh god. Yeah, yeah. Perfect. Okay, except louder. Good. Sorry. This is gonna like take a lot of deep dives too. So just be prepared. So then Laura goes into her bedroom and masturbates with a dildo and it is an extremely choreographed see like heavy pop music playing and she's Yeah. And mass them is that not driving usually

Unknown:

to the whatever you have playing playing

Margie:

there's a bass player of the quarter

Rachel:

right Hear me out Olympic Committee for Olympics whoever decides what goes to the Olympics synchronized masturbating gymnast level but like,

Unknown:

I think we can get into that. Yeah.

Margie:

All right, and I must so then in another scene, like again, it's clipped on top of each other. MASSIMO had been like he has a private jet of course and he had been laying down his private jet then he kind of got up to like sit with his buddy and have a chat and while he was doing that the stewardess who had gone to the back to kind of like tidy up where you've been taking a nap, Massimo has this has this poor girl pleasure I'm on a private plane as

Unknown:

a flight attendant is what they're there for. That's what they're there for a nice run the whole time. So hang

Rachel:

on, she is shown masturbating but he's horny. And so he's gonna have a woman suck his dick instead. Yeah, right. Okay. Everything my

Unknown:

responsibility like I have to get myself off. I get you off. I have to get stranger on the jet off.

Rachel:

What about your mom? Wait, no, that's no, no.

Margie:

She does enjoy it. And there is this director has a very weird thing of the actresses like who this happens a lot in this movie where a woman is pleasuring Massimo and the girl will go like this. Ah, after the liquor finger.

Rachel:

Oh, no.

Unknown:

Yeah, yeah, that's some softcore stuff. Um, yeah. And I do find it is so is the message here that you know women who masturbate are

Margie:

Oh, yeah, he wants to. Alright, so melody

Unknown:

in a powerful way, but a man shouldn't masturbate that sweetness. He should get a blowjob.

Margie:

Alright, so now so the next day Laura leaves on a bird on her birthday trip to Italy. She's with her boyfriend. Her one of her friends. Maybe her best friend. I can't remember cuz she comes up later. And her best friends will boyfriend, her boyfriend is kind of an asshole, which is not surprising, judging by this entire movie, um, and he makes her he gets drunk on her birthday night and kind of makes her to look like a fool. Like just kind of humiliates her a little bit and he doesn't mean to, but he's drunk enough that that's what he does. He'll drop his ass. Yeah, yeah, so, um, like, she kind of like walks away to like, I need some air. I just need a minute like, give me a second. Just a way to like say, ostensibly to use the bathroom and she gets kind of lost and she bumps into the sky. Who was Massimo who says Are you lost and he says this dream a lot during the movie. Are you lost baby girl?

Unknown:

Is this like, yeah, Mantra this

Margie:

like, and but then she goes back to her table and weirdly enough Someone has sent her her favorite bottle of wine to the table, but they don't know who

Rachel:

Hmm Okay, two things. One, how did he know? Because we're assuming Massimo How did he know what her favorite bottle of wine is? And to Baby Girl No, not an okay thing to say to a woman baby girl. Yes, sweetheart. Any of those?

Unknown:

I was she's just too powerful. We need to knock her down a few pegs with the baby girl and also he turned them off yet he knows what her favorite color Yeah, yeah.

Margie:

Oh, we're gonna get off we're gonna get to that. So the next day Laura and her boyfriend get into an even worse fight and she actually pushes them to a pool. And she she storms off and spends the rest of the day on her own looking dramatically over vistas of the Mediterranean sea

Rachel:

god Tuesday's Am I right?

Margie:

She so then at night in the evening, she starts to head back to her hotel, but she's she like creepy moment of guys saying, ciao bella, ciao bella, and like just kind of eking her out. And but then she goes down another alley and like a car starts revving and she's like, Oh, as she goes up, she goes to walk in the other direction away from the car and she bumps into someone who says like bonus at a bonus Annabella and then then it cuts to her waking up in a very large bed in a very large bedroom and the bedroom door is locked.

Rachel:

God Tuesday's my right?

Unknown:

Jimmy's house dramatic. I just I'm thinking of all the women who might be watching this and being like, Yes, this is my fantasy. Like, my boyfriend's NASA when I've been whisked away to this big bedroom and it's a mystery who's who's gonna come boy. I don't know. 80% of Google user flights. I'm really sorry

Margie:

about that. I really worried about them. Like

Rachel:

this is an infinitely worse version of someone coming up behind you putting their hands over your eyes and going Guess who gets who gets elbowed in the face? Guess who's bad you just woke up.

Margie:

She after an indeterminate amount of time, the door to the bedroom is unlocked. Like she hears it unlock. And she wanders through this verifiable castle and finds a very large painting of herself on the wall

Rachel:

I don't know. Paintings took a long time to make. Yeah.

Unknown:

No

Rachel:

it's an oil painting because it wouldn't be anything else. And it was taken a long time. It's

Margie:

huge. I mean, it is huge. It is very large. Is it actually her actually her

Unknown:

great grandma actually heard this isn't like oh, I guess I didn't see this coming.

Rachel:

I honestly feel so good.

Unknown:

I feel like if I'm gonna wake up in a room where it's a nice room, but I don't know where I am. I would expect breakfast and coffee in bed. Like I'd be really upset if the door just unlocked and it wasn't somebody coming in to serve me coffee.

Margie:

Maybe it's nighttime and like it is nighttime. It's not morning. So

Rachel:

obviously I well I have a very large oil portrait of myself in my bedroom. But that took a while right It took years to find it. I wanted to do the commission so like he's obviously been watching her for a while. Yeah, she hasn't. How long has she

Margie:

been? She hasn't been watching her. That's where it gets worse. Okay to go Alright, so after she, when she turns around when she sees this painting, and she's frozen, she's like, Oh my god, what is happening? So she turns around and Massimo is there and she immediately faints again. So she wakes up in a chair. Yeah, she faints again, so she has a heart condition. So that's why she genuinely has a heart condition. So she wakes up in a chair a heart condition. Yes. And Massimo is leaning in front of her and he's like has half an ice cube,

Rachel:

which is love ice cubes.

Unknown:

I know that any like ice cubes makes a lot of things. You got asthma ice cubes, diabetes, ice cubes, you know, heart condition diabetes

Margie:

do with ice cubes.

Unknown:

The only living game I've ever served an ice cube to is my dog. If someone gave me an ice cube, I would immediately be like, are you calling me?

Margie:

Well, as he pulls it, pulls it out of the drink like the Scotch that he's drinking.

Rachel:

Like I've seen, like in a hospital, someone that can't So like, for instance, one of my sister was giving birth to a child. She couldn't drink, but she could have ice chips that are not covering has got to take

Unknown:

her in for emergency surgery. So I want to aspirate. Of course, you can't have it then. But are you that conservative? What are you planning on doing with me now? Um, so

Margie:

she tries to fight her way away from him, but he likes basically grabs her and pushes her down into the chair and says, Don't you want to know why the fuck you're here?

Rachel:

No, no, I

Unknown:

just want to leave. So

Margie:

she stays still. And he said, he explains like, this does not make any sense. So prepare yourself. Dave that his father died. She was the one on the beach that he saw. Like he was the one she was the one that he was watching his binoculars. And when he got shot, all that he could see in his mind was her face like it was like imprinted in his mind. And even after he recovered, all he could see was her quote, unquote. And ever since then, he has been looking for us and he had no idea who she was, and everybody around him. And he was like, everyone around him was like she does not exist. It's kind of like a really twisted way like Prince Eric and The Little Mermaid. like, Yo, you did not get saved by a mermaid. Like that was not a thing that happened. But everyone but he's like, no, she was real.

Rachel:

It was my father's dying wish that I find you and kidnap you and force you to have sex with me.

Unknown:

My obsession is okay. Because my right? I give me lots of you know, I don't get why you would like want to find her that I went, I was eating it i When my dog died. And to this day, I will not go near and I have ever again. I feel

Rachel:

like negative association is way stronger

Margie:

than ever see her face again? You'd be like, No, thank you. But no, he's obsessed with her. Also,

Unknown:

I'm sorry. But what I know of you so far does not lead me to believe that you were paying any attention to my face.

Margie:

And I thought so I was thinking about this. And I was like, okay, it kind of would have been interesting if you change this plot. So that was like, so you are a witness to this murder. So you may know who the sniper was no, they do not go that direction. Of course. Why would they even think no. So and he was convinced and this is a quote that quote one day she would stand in front of his MP his stand in front of him and be his. He finally so when she was going to Sicily, he saw her at the airport and on the way to her birthday trip. So that's how we finally found her. He saw her while he was in his car and she was like waiting for her car or something. I don't know. And he had had someone follow her since that like pretty much since she had arrived in Sicily. I think he had had someone following super romantic so, so her response to that is you must be kidding. Nobody owns me. I'm not an object. You can't have me just like that kidnapped me and think that I'm all yours. To which he responds. I know but that's why I'm giving you a chance to fall in love with me. Not because I made you do it but because you will want to she's like, I just let me get through this. Just let me get through this. Okay? She's like, look, I have a life already without you. I don't need your love. So let me go. MASSIMO reveals that her boyfriend is cheating on her. She's, oh yeah. He's like he doesn't deserve you she which has nothing to do with the current situation like whether or not that's not really the point okay, so she she's pissed it away from but she's also like, still want to get out of here. So she tries to was still kidnapped.

Unknown:

Nothing is changed.

Margie:

So she tries to run again and he pushes her down into a chair and gives her a non consensual feel up and then says I won't do anything without your permission when you desire me come to your But that's not what happened. You

Unknown:

just did. You just do not have my permission to keep me here.

Rachel:

I'm not gonna do anything without your permission as he's feeling a PR boob without her permission

Margie:

does that a lot?

Unknown:

He's already already take her home. But from this point forward, nothing without Rachel.

Margie:

You'll recall this is some real Jericho forge bullshit for such a long time.

Rachel:

Exactly what I've been thinking of this whole time. Is the weird, definitely not Jason Momoa guy who come so powerful that you could hear it on the other side of the yacht. That was another book. Yeah, this

Margie:

vibe. Exactly. Um,

Unknown:

I forged the author's name

Margie:

Jericho. The character's name Jericho Forge.

Rachel:

Yeah, Jared.

Unknown:

Great

Rachel:

to check on the yacht. That was the start of yacht violence and it's been a reoccurring theme in several episodes. A

Margie:

lot of people have a fetish about being kidnapped on yachts who know and blowing them up. Yeah, blowing them up. And so

Unknown:

I prefer a pontoon boat.

Margie:

So mastermind mastermind tells Laura that he will keep her for 365 days. If at the end of that time, she doesn't fall in love with him. He'll set her free.

Rachel:

What even is Stockholm Syndrome though?

Margie:

There there are at least three escape attempts that she tries to make in the scene and he holds her back every time. Like he holds her and like pushes her very forcibly down. And

Rachel:

she wanted Oh yeah,

Unknown:

I don't remember her permission.

Margie:

Remember that? What permission think he kisses her? She steals his gun. He steals it back so this relationship is starting off breaks.

Rachel:

I mean, I'm sorry did do we have different definitions of permission because I thought permission was trying to shoot someone that was doing something I didn't want to me weird awkward.

Margie:

Um, then he goes to execute a guy who portrayed their mafia she is sent back to her room

Rachel:

okay, how many days has this been?

Margie:

Oh it's for five minutes and seven days Oh he gets called away by is like right here man. I'm not Hamilton, cut that but you go all the way. He gets called away by his right hand man. And they have found this guy who has betrayed their their mafia husband once again selling children that is like a very overarching theme.

Rachel:

Because it's so much worse than that with their permission.

Margie:

No, though, and he does not like the fact that these children have been kidnapped and held against their will and then forced to do sexual acts which is really kind of you know

Rachel:

everything in this movie doesn't seem quite so bad as long as you present something that is worse, right? Well, in this case, having a woman holding her against her will isn't as bad as kidnapping children. Thus right?

Margie:

He's a better he's actually a good dude because of that. So um, since he goes to execute a guy who betrayed their mafia, Laura tries to escape again by running the shower in her rooms that people hear that and I'm assuming climbing out of a window because then it just cuts to her like out on the whatever. But so but then they tell apart. Yeah, she's all afford it. But then she spots Massimo shoot the guy in the head and she passes out again. Okay. I think this week. Really?

Unknown:

I mean, it's stressful. She sees she's being tossed and she's such a high power sales director or whatever.

Rachel:

And also, like, assuming she climbed out of a window. This was a castle, right? Like, I it's got to be a lot of stress. Climb down the outside of the castle. And yeah, she must

Unknown:

have hired herself out swinging from the turrets.

Margie:

She used her sheets to make a rope.

Rachel:

Maybe she's a fainting goat.

Unknown:

Can they pull new layer? Do we need to have a VCR?

Rachel:

to reshoot this movie, but when fighting and screaming goats in her place. Okay.

Margie:

I'll keep you for 365 days if you don't see that, I'll let you go so when she wakes up, Massimo is there shirtless, Avi and he explains that He said he killed the guy because he had been quote unquote, hurting children. Um,

Rachel:

yeah, that makes everything okay, that makes every belief and now

Margie:

she asked for her laptop and phone. He says no. Then he says that they are flying somewhere else to which she says I'm not going anywhere with you. Again. He gives her no choice in the matter. And then there's another physical altercation.

Rachel:

Where did you get her laptop unless she was going out to dinner? Carrying her laptop?

Margie:

Oh, sorry. I should have explained this. He got all of her stuff from her hotel from her boyfriend. Yeah. Wow.

Unknown:

Boyfriend, like he was just like, Oh, you're taking

Margie:

her over. But like he or problem now. He has the boy boyfriend was left a note. Who from Laura, saying, I'm leaving you goodbye. I'm starting a new life kind of thing. And they took her stuff they like Maximos henchmen took her stuff. God, yeah,

Rachel:

I just imagined. Okay, picture this new scene. One of the henchmen dresses up with a wig and some of Laura's clothes. I leaving you.

Unknown:

But he's like heavily beard. But it's the wig. Enjoying it,

Margie:

though? He had a good time with it emerged. Her boyfriend is just looking at his phone to be like, Uh huh. Bye. Alright, so he tells Massimo tells Laura, that he has business in town and he needs her to come with him. She resists going anywhere with him. Then they're in the car together. And they go on this bizarre shopping trip like this shopping

Rachel:

montage. Always a shopping montage. Oh,

Unknown:

there's three in this movie. Oh, wow. So at one point, she did try on dresses for him.

Margie:

Oh, yeah, she tries on lingerie. Okay, just wait. And so at one point during the shopping trip, he takes her into a lingerie store, he takes her and she's trying something on in a dressing room. And he breaks into the dressing room while she's trying it on. There's another physical altercation. After she says get out of the room and you'll or you'll never see my body lingerie again. To which he says I order it and I'm going to decide when I get to see it.

Rachel:

Consent is an illusion. And also, there's just a Victoria's Secret employee just going like I do not get paid enough for this shit.

Margie:

Right? Exactly.

Unknown:

Um, oh, also, fact that two people are not allowed in those dressing rooms at the same time unless one of them is an x ray employee who is helping to

Rachel:

maybe plot twist. Oh,

Margie:

that's Victoria's Secret. actually owned by the mafia. was owned by Lex. Lex sweat. Wexner les Wexner. So it's not that far. Um, who's the new Jeffrey Epstein. So it's all good. I'm

Rachel:

good. Yeah, we saw her secret match stuff.

Margie:

So he's like, Oh, okay. So Laura gets really pissed at this and is like and throws lingerie at him, puts her clothes back on throws lingerie at him and runs out of the store. And she and she runs out of the store and she bumps into two police officers. And she tries to explain that she's been kidnapped and needs help. But the policeman see Masimo behind her, give him a little bow and walk away from her.

Unknown:

Uh huh. Yep. Yeah.

Margie:

He's like, look,

Rachel:

what? What a hashtag Alpha.

Margie:

Yeah. So then Massimo was like, look, let's just ride this out for the year and see what happens. You know, you might fall in love with me. Thanks.

Unknown:

And I get the feeling. I'm such a charming guy. You don't even

Margie:

know. I like don't like

Unknown:

when people rape the baby. And my dad is dead. Right? Like you gotta feel bad for me because my dad's did and I'm buying you underwear. You owe me. You owe me. I love you guys. Okay. Oh,

Rachel:

I just can't get past I won't do anything that you don't want me to do and then promptly does everything she doesn't want him to do right. This fucking opposite day. I think he

Unknown:

just knows that it's just an act for her. He knows what she really really does want all of this and just knows her so well. He really got inside her head without painting.

Margie:

Okay, so she kind of gives off this vibe and I guess to this is to give the actress credit of five but I am going to make your life hell for the next year. Like I am just going to make your life different cult. So they had dinner together that night. And when I say that, I mean Lauren Masimo. She tries to get to know him better, more in a way of using it against him slash to antagonize him. He explains that he got into the position he's in like head of the mafia because his father died, which have you heard my father died? He didn't want it. But the choice was taken away from him. And she's like, that's so funny. We're so similar because I didn't want to come to Sicily and be stuck here for the next year. Okay, she

Rachel:

was so much SAS, and I do enjoy that. Yeah, no, that's good.

Unknown:

Question, because I'm curious that she's going along with all this. Did she ever call into work? We're gonna get into Oh, they thought of everything.

Margie:

Except for real human human emotions and feelings. Anyway. I did. So then Massimo is like in response to that just given and teach me to be gentle.

Unknown:

Okay, let's start with the basics. Adoption.

Rachel:

First, first rule of being gentle and kind. Don't fucking kidnap people. Number one.

Margie:

Alright, so that night when she gets back to her bedroom, her laptop and phone are waiting for her. So it was so good. She was rewarded. Yeah. That she's given cell service. She calls her mom and tells her that she was given a yearly contract with a local hotel in Sicily.

Unknown:

No. option. Because I'm just gonna go with like her. She doesn't want a mom. Yeah,

Margie:

she doesn't want her mom to worry. And so no, she doesn't call for help.

Unknown:

Bitch call Interpol. Right. Right.

Margie:

Um, when she wakes up in her bed the next morning Masimo sleeping there. See naked or shirtless? Yeah, remember? I think he shirtless?

Rachel:

Oh, I would have stabbed a bitch.

Margie:

She starts to think about fondling?

Rachel:

No, no. Reaction. I would have grabbed like a fork and just No.

Margie:

Forks. Right. But

Unknown:

when was the last time when was the last time she got to masturbate? Right. So when a while we

Rachel:

Yeah, yeah, it's our system in this room.

Margie:

So when she she Laura jumps in the shower. And in this weird ass room the the bed the shower is visible from the bed. Like there's no like, like anything. So she's completely nude. And he starts watching her and then he jumps in a shower that is next to hers.

Rachel:

That's being rich. That's money.

Margie:

Right? She starts by blatantly staring at his dick. Okay. Can you see his penis? That was an interesting thing about this movie. I was surprised he never saw his penis because I have seen penis on Netflix. So I'm very surprised

Rachel:

that they didn't show deck. They have to leave something to the imagination. I guess

Margie:

we can. Very little to the imagination. Very little literally all it's like his deck and her vagina are the only things that we don't see. Hmm.

Rachel:

Like, if I'm kidnapped by a man who just shows up in my bed the next morning. I think I'm just gonna not shower until I smell so bad that he stopped showing up in my bed every morning.

Unknown:

But if you were super horny, and you wanted to get laid, you would probably clean yourself to make yourself more appealing. Yeah, but I'm not.

Margie:

I mean, maybe the Stockholm Syndrome is really starting to kick in. That's my personal take from this like that,

Rachel:

sir. It was essential. She was showering.

Margie:

Wow. So let's get into that. Okay, she's are staggered, staring at the stick and they start playing around in the shower. But then she's like, Alright, I'm gonna walk away because I'm too cool for you. Well, I shouldn't say that. She's just kind of that's that's the vibe she's giving off of like, whatever. It was fine. And he grabs her by the nape of the neck pulls her back around and kisses her.

Rachel:

consensual I

Unknown:

just she loves it because she's a fucking Yeah, right, right. I mean, there's still a tease in all of this. She's been kidnapped but she can still

Margie:

be so sorry. And you're gonna have to watch. We're gonna be warned. I wasn't warm. Next scene. She is being physically dragged onto a plane by two bodyguards. And then she's tied to a seat with seat belts. Tied Yeah, he then breaks this rule by touching you guys. What?

Unknown:

You just have to put the book together. Why don't you?

Margie:

Um, he then is not as kinky that way. He then breaks his rule by touching her first her breasts then by reaching down into her pants, and he starts giving her a good feel down there and she seems to be enjoying it. Oh, and by the way, this is happening within full view of at least one other guy the play.

Unknown:

point I'm just really wishing and hoping that at the end, there's a big reveal and they've known each other the entire time and whole

Margie:

that's the choice that she would be like an informant or something for like Interpol. And that's why she stuck around for so long. Like, she's she's Yeah, she's just she's right. She's undercover.

Rachel:

Okay. Do you appreciate that? You said he broke his he broke his rule when he's broken

Unknown:

his role up until now? No, this would promote justice.

Margie:

All right. So she continues to try and make his life a living hell, when they get to there. They're going to Rome. When she gets to Rome, she jumps into a fountain because she's bored while he's making a business deal with his cousin.

Rachel:

It's like the fucking gasoline fight from from Oh, God.

Margie:

Zealander. Yes, Zoolander. Actually that water in the fountains of Rome, you can drink it, it's really clean. So like, they usually advise that you just use the spigots that are like in the walls, but like yeah, all the water that are in the fountains and everything, it's constantly filtered, so it's really clean. So you can't drink any. But I mean, if somebody has been swimming in it, you probably don't want to be drinking it. Um, so later, okay, so they go back to the hotel, and she later on she knocks on his door Inge and just in a robe, and she and he is wearing nothing but a towel. So, and she's basically there just to tease him like she's there to drive him crazy, which is a really bad idea. This is all a bad idea. It does not work out well for her though, but I just want it known that somehow Amiens SoTell in this room, he has a painting of himself standing next to a lion

Rachel:

painting for him.

Unknown:

You haven't like an artist on commission.

Margie:

I know. He must be that artist. is he writing thought artists was

Unknown:

because if I myself with a lion, I'm gonna be writing it. Yeah. That artists was like, like holding on to the main like onward. Aslan. Yeah, yeah.

Rachel:

So you know, writing on the back of God, Aslan

Margie:

deserved to ride on the back of as lead he would Aslan when kill Masimo so quickly, like so quick. Yeah. Just when he's a champion so she sits on the couch and spreads her legs because why not? He loses the towel he has he was wearing and it's like, let's do it. Let's have some sex. But she says no. She tries to walk out of the room and the door

Rachel:

is locked. Swiper no swiping. She

Margie:

goes back she goes back to me. It's like Hey, open the fucking door. Let me out let me out of the room open the fucking door and he kind of like both kisses her and like kind of touched her like quote unquote, a lover. I know that this is not but that's just the description that I have for you what? And he pushes her back down onto a bed. And then chains or to the bed hands and feets.

Unknown:

sighs

Rachel:

What even is this? Oh. How far? How many days? Is it?

Margie:

Two thirds through. Okay. Yeah, this is all very quick. Well, there is a line in this movie where she says I don't need 365 days.

Unknown:

Yeah, please tell me the next line isn't because I love you.

Margie:

That's pretty much what the line is.

Unknown:

Two weeks. Exactly. 3010 minutes. What is it? 28

Margie:

weeks. Isn't that the movie? 28 days. Oh, 20 All right.

Rachel:

No surprise. Well, I would be so here for it.

Margie:

Alright, so on the lower chain, the chain that's on her legs. It's on each ankle, right? And there's this one chain between each of her ankles are like this, this object right? And I can't remember which direction it is. But it's basically Like, the more she moves, I think tries to get away basically the wider it pulls her legs.

Rachel:

Now that's some engineering that is

Margie:

great. That's horrifying Hello,

Unknown:

World biomechanical engineer, like the reverse Ray. Oh, I hate this. This is bad.

Margie:

This is really bad. Alright, so then he says, I'm going to show you what you're missing. He sits back down on the couch, and has another woman come in and pleasure him while Laura is watching. So that all happens he and then he comes up back up to her onto the bed. And it's like, oh, should we have sex? Hmm. Thinking about it. And though like, No, we're not going to. And he tells her to get dressed. They're going to one of his clubs in two hours.

Rachel:

But you have to state change. Sorry, you got to figure it

Margie:

out. Does he does a chain so then

Rachel:

she's nothing but any dog collar or something. Nothing gets me hornier than watching my partner. And I get some people get off on that, not me saying she dresses

Margie:

herself to the nines when they go before going to the club, presumably to drive him wild and make him mad. And she comes into the so she's led into the club by like, another one of his right hand men. And and she, that guy's like, Wait right here, wait by the bar, we will come back out. Like give us you know, 15 minutes and then we'll go and do our thing. And she's like, Oh, I don't think I want to do that. So she goes up to the room while he's having the business deal. And she's dressed like, like, in a way that would make that makes him very angry. She's just like, she's at a club. Like she's wearing a short skirt. She's wearing bright bright red lipstick. She looks awesome. She looks great. But like she looks too sexy for him because then other men are gonna go after her.

Rachel:

Right? So I'm assuming he has provided for

Margie:

her. Yes. Oh, yeah. And she mentioned that she's like I'm wearing 2000 of your your euros.

Rachel:

Okay, yeah, yeah. Oh, hang on. You keep talking I'm gonna figure out what that isn't American money.

Margie:

Alright, and this is an important so I have to make this note before we go on to the next little bit. Do you remember that girl Anna at the beginning of the movie who was sending Massimo sexy videos on his phone was in the cab? Well, it turns out I think because the plot is not clear that he she either works for or is in charge of another mafia. So like another mafia that Massimo works with right like their kind of, you know, trade deals and that kind of shit. And Massimo case you're wondering? Sorry, keep going. MASSIMO is trying to make a business deal with that mafia that night. Okay.

Rachel:

So it's $2,368.48 Okay. Very specific amount of American. Yeah.

Margie:

Uh, so later on because Laura's feeling piston defiant. She starts dancing and flirting with another guy. And then he starts acting like really aggressively like, Yeah, I'm gonna let's have sex and he's really drunk. And Massimo pulls out two guns on that guy's group of friends who happens to be the people who he was supposed to make a business deal with that night. You never see or hear a shot fired, but Massimo shoots the guy's hands to punish the guy for touching her

Unknown:

eye. I am given all the business.

Rachel:

I'm like, you think because she's a powerful businesswoman she to understand how to make how to broker business deals, but apparently she's too sexy for that. To find out, she, her business must have been doing really bad. Yeah.

Unknown:

I mean, they're not even.

Margie:

It's like the Linda blinked. Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Okay, so um, yeah, did that the next scene? They're on a yacht and masum was right hand man is like, look, you've now created a war with Anna's mafia because you shot that guy. Kill Laura to appease Anna get rid of the car and you can prevent more bloodshed. MASSIMO says not the yard. thing but the Advent there's so much so at this point, Laura So Laura overhears this conversation and apologizes for what happened?

Rachel:

Because that's gonna make it better bitch.

Margie:

She didn't do anything wrong. She's

Unknown:

sorry, I'm so sorry man, get handsy with me.

Rachel:

I hope it was ugly crying too.

Margie:

She doesn't cry. Cry. She doesn't cry. Well, yeah. She cried. She cries at some point in this movie. So, um, oh, so, and then Maximos responses. Yeah, this wouldn't have happened if you had to dress like a little whore. What was

Rachel:

the starting point? Because we could go way farther back in time my dude.

Unknown:

Yeah, like I just want to eyeball we're gonna roll out of my head at some point like everything you said, I'm like what

Rachel:

they're going through, as you say roll into the sunset. So,

Margie:

she does stand up for herself and say, okay, so it's my fault that this other mafia guy tried to rape me fuck off. They get into another physical altercation and he accidentally pushes her off the yacht.

Rachel:

$1 for every time I would have

Margie:

my own yacht. Super yacht, excuse you. Right? Super yacht super yacht.

Rachel:

Maybe she'll lose her

Unknown:

memory and you can just convince her that she's someone else entirely. And we can just like watch overboard that lets us do that. Unfortunately, no,

Rachel:

she just was directed by a woman.

Margie:

It was directed by a woman. It was directed by a weatherman

Rachel:

and also a woman. Okay. Um, okay, so

Margie:

we have. Let's see, let's uh, he jumps in the water saves her from drowning. And she wakes up in a bed again. She doesn't a lot. Um, when she went on she goes, he's like, Oh my god, I was so scared. Please never do that again. She sees as a perfect time to pleasure him for the first time. There are a lot of blowjobs so this movie,

Unknown:

see now not enough women claim TMJ I'm gonna put that out. I've been working for me for years. And even if I were in the kidnapping situation, I'm still gonna be perfectly honest with you and tell you my jaw just doesn't open that one. And yeah, it's not gonna be fun for you.

Rachel:

And if anything, like you can also almost spin it as a compliment. I'm sorry, your decks just too big like I can't.

Unknown:

Exactly I caught a glimpse of it shower, and I gotta be real.

Rachel:

I've got a glimpse of it in the two showers next to each other in a single bedroom that I could see from bed. Can you know it's as normal humans. I also saw

Unknown:

how that other woman had to unhinge her just to fit around you and as hot as that was obviously turned on. Probably just maybe you could get that hurt. Maybe you could get that yeah, I'm

Rachel:

sorry. I just like, I know my mom was part snake, but I didn't get that particular trick.

Margie:

Okay, so then they have all the types of sex all over the boat. Like everywhere, every position,

Rachel:

Margie? Do they hit the Miss? fifth hole?

Margie:

I'm assuming?

Rachel:

Like, I guess? Seventh? I don't know. There's a lot of holes

Margie:

just everywhere. And I gotta say that first. Like, I was like, I've watched you know, a good amount of sex scenes in movies in my time. But like, and I've watched sensei which on Netflix. I was what I thought was like the pretty much the highest bar of okay, this is pretty blatant sex.

Unknown:

No, no, no, no, I was like, well, now I'm excited to watch this movie.

Rachel:

Go Pro on his dick

Unknown:

I don't think I want that

Rachel:

first person. Point of View.

Margie:

Just like everywhere and I mean, like and I when I say everywhere, I mean, like on the bow of the ship, like on the top of the, of the yacht. And there are other people.

Rachel:

Oh, like, I'm an I'm a

Unknown:

king. Yeah, but like with sodomy.

Margie:

Alright, so they, um, and I think that this is the I remember when I watched this movie The first time she said this, but I couldn't like, I didn't see it the second time and I don't know what it why it was but um, I thought that she said like, I don't need 365 days. And then he's like, Yes, I went to her. I did it. Um, yeah. So really,

Rachel:

really uncomfortable for the captain. I don't know. Like, you just have to

Unknown:

know like, you have a yacht you have to expect ejaculates just like champagne and jazz painting. Just about in the

Rachel:

room when you're trying to pilot the boat. Like, come on. It's like go This is my we'll I don't I don't want to.

Unknown:

Yeah, stay out of my eyesight right line of sight, right? very distracting.

Margie:

Um, alright, so then there later, they're just kind of like he's in the water. She's like, like sunbathing. They're both just chill and very relaxed. And Maximos like, guess what? They were going to a ball. And she's like, What the fuck? We're going to a ball. Like, I don't even have anything to wear and she like gets all pissed off and I'm like, I don't think that's your biggest concern right now. But okay. Um, Q. gay boys make over montage. No.

Unknown:

No, yes. Two

Margie:

adorable gay boys come and give her a complete makeover.

Rachel:

Okay, Margie, Did this help or hurt the Gay Agenda? No.

Margie:

agenda so

Rachel:

much. I've been working so hard.

Margie:

Really hard on this gay agenda. Word so they go to this ball Dance Dance super provocatively on the dance floor, which like they've done everything else. So why not full ballroom

Rachel:

or football gown? Yeah, but also grind? Yes. Very far off. Yes. Now I want to see this movie for that scene alone. All right.

Margie:

And then so I think that Anna is the head of the other mob and like so like I said, Anna Massimo had like been exchanging these text messages in these videos. And Anna had not given up on him this whole movie. And they had obviously been, like, fooling around, whatever. Um, and Anna is very jealous of Laura, when they meet at this ball. And Anna's like, we will just kill Laura shell for me mean that's my response. Anna leaves. And Massimo because they were all speaking different languages to one another. So Laura didn't know what Anna said to Massimo. And Massimo actually does tell the truth and says yeah, Anna wanted to kill you. But don't worry, babe. I will let her hurt you ever.

Rachel:

Yeah, that makes me feel Yeah, excuse

Unknown:

my strong. Yeah.

Rachel:

I mean, have you seen the hair on those forearms. It can deflect anything. It's like wonderful calves.

Margie:

So they, so they go back home. Laura wants to go home. So they do and they have sex back at their place. And Massimo tells Laura afterwards that he loves her and he's sending her back to Poland to see her family and that he will meet her there sometime soon.

Rachel:

I know this bitch is like gonna try to kill you. But like, you can go off by yourself. It'll be fine.

Margie:

It'll be fine. It's fine. It's fine. So um, and she's given the impression as she leaves Italy that something very bad has happened. But she's not told what. When she gets to Warsaw, his phone has she notices his phone has been disconnected. Um, Laura goes to her best friend's house in Warsaw, who is understandably pissed because Laura really isn't telling her anything about what happened in Sicily. At first. At first. She Laura at first admits that she had fallen in love with someone, but then they get drunk together. And she actually ends up telling the whole story of like, what happened?

Rachel:

I hope her friend is like girl.

Margie:

Actually, yes, she is. She's like, Ah, are you fucking kidding me? Like, this is what happened. This is not okay and done it up. But But Laura's like, but I love him. But that the best friends like alright, I guess I gotta live with this or a bad friend.

Unknown:

I mean, we've all had that.

Margie:

Yeah, well, that's true. You've made a choice. I don't. I don't think it's the best choice for you. But you've made it so

Rachel:

I feel like there's a line like, like, Yeah, I'm gonna go out and get drunk with my ex. Okay, that's your choice. You probably shouldn't do it. Yeah, I got kidnapped. I'm gonna stay with the dude that definitely like Stockholm syndrome to me. No, that's crossed the line. That's crossing. It's your choice line, but he bought her pretty close. Fuck. I forgot about that. Yeah.

Unknown:

Oh, my

Margie:

God, He saves children. Yeah,

Rachel:

exactly as a painting of her and you know how hard it is to get another one of those commission for another woman. It has to be true. True Love.

Unknown:

Yeah, he's all in.

Margie:

So your best friend make overseen. They both get make over. One. She dyes her hair blonde, which honestly looks terrible. And then the two of them go out dancing together. Laura gets wasted and ends up seeing her ex boyfriend Martin at the bar. He was like look, give me another chance. I love you and she's like fuck off. And he actually follows her home. All the way home and button when she gets home however, guess who's there? sitting in the living room. She didn't let him in. He's just there. It's his

Rachel:

home now. It's like, oh, he's a Massimo. calm now.

Unknown:

Oh Massimo Oh Massimo,

Rachel:

too many cooks too.

Margie:

All right, so there's another physical altercation, but they ended up having sex

Rachel:

with Martin still. Okay. All right.

Unknown:

Surprise me, right there.

Margie:

Yeah, you know what we've already we've already established that Massimo is an exhibitionist. So

Rachel:

yeah. Hmm. So whether or not she is so

Margie:

Massimo the next morning asked to marry Laura. Okay.

Unknown:

asks.

Margie:

She says she did not fate. She says yes.

Rachel:

Yeah. Hang on. Has that hard condition come up any other time? No. Not even when they're having mega sex.

Margie:

Not even know and not even when she's falls off the side of the boat.

Rachel:

Yeah, um, okay.

Margie:

Goalie bullshit.

Unknown:

Okay. Condition.

Rachel:

Oh, my God, because this will be far more of an interesting movie. If like, every time they went to have sex, she liked the climax and just passed out.

Margie:

Way more interesting. Have heard about people who have conditions like that though.

Rachel:

Yeah. Hey, have you ever had tried to have sex with asthma? It's interesting. It can be weird. It can be very weird.

Margie:

All right. So um, there's another shopping montage. And they actually go to a friend of hers. And randomly randomly they go to a friend of hers wedding like and it's very weird. And Massimo meets Laura's parents. He leaves for business and Palermo and her best in the Laura's best friend. We're almost done, guys. We're so close. Hey, oh, and her best friend comes to be a bridesmaid for their wedding. Um, Laura tells her best friend that she is pregnant. Of course.

Unknown:

Nice. I mean, I think I mean it all figures and it all

Margie:

comes together. So her best friend actually tried to talk to some sense of her saying like, you are in a golden cage. What the fuck are you doing? Like, what? What are you doing yourself? And her best friend is like, if you make the choice, we will leave and we can raise this baby. Just you and I like to go well,

Unknown:

I'd be like, if you want to go we can make an appointment

Margie:

oh my gosh, shots of tequila ready once you get out. Um,

Unknown:

I will definitely give you a ride. And I feel like that is a lot of

Margie:

friendship. It's cool. It's alright, so and then, um, but Laura is like, No, I'm gonna marry this dude. Um, and she gets fitted for wedding dresses. On the way piano

Rachel:

that's gonna change. No, not at all.

Margie:

On the way back from the wedding dress shop. It's cut to a scene with the right hand man of Moscow and he's in a car getting a phone call. The call says they're going to kill Laura. And the right hand man immediately hangs up and tries to call Masimo to say hey, this is gonna happen like you need to find your girl. And but Masimo is on the phone with Laura. So the line is busy. Um, that's how cellphones work. That's how cellphones work. Yeah, so then there's there's

Unknown:

really cheap Italian.

Margie:

God damn, god damn WhatsApp can't even handle another call. Then there's a shot. And when I say shot me like camera, there's a camera shot where she goes into a tunnel in the car and she's not driving. It's her driver driving. She's a driver. And the car doesn't come out the other end. So it's assumed she's dead. And that's the end.

Rachel:

Or you want to drive into a wormhole? What's the word?

Margie:

I'm reminded me of is very like Princess Diana kinda thick. Like

Unknown:

yeah, that's what yeah, when you said car driver.

Margie:

I've seen this before. The end

Unknown:

that's like the least satisfying and like I would have been happy if they ended it with you know, not even even before the engagement. I feel like the first time that they hook up and like have all because that's what this movie is leading to this big deal sexy, huh? And that's it. So but then they got to add all this bullshit fant fantastical stuff on top of it. It's yeah, it doesn't really hit home with women unless you also include some sort of incredibly romantic marriage proposal about me becoming like, essentially the Princess Bride and all of that love and Oh, otherwise it's just a lot of kidnapping and rape. Maybe there was maybe there was just like some construction work. And they were held Did you watch the credits rolled

Margie:

through the credits to figure out if something happened and nothing else happened? Like

Rachel:

a Marvel after the credits scene, it's just them sitting in traffic like Jesus Christ. Man, we're never gonna

Margie:

Okay, so Wow, there is going to be a sequel. It has been confirmed. Oh, well,

Rachel:

that's a really I have many questions and all of them are, why

Margie:

them or why? All of them are why, um, I, you know, I was wondering the entire time I was watching this movie. And I was also wondering, like, I had a lot of thought and empathy for the actors. I was like, why are you doing this? How much money do you need? Who hurt you? Like I

Rachel:

bearing a child to term is going to be incredibly dangerous for her?

Margie:

Yeah. With a heart condition. Right? Miraculously dissolving heart condition

Rachel:

all right, I forgot love fixed it.

Unknown:

Love forgot

Margie:

what fix

Rachel:

her heart didn't have enough love in it.

Unknown:

Oh. Realize realized that her heart was broken until he came alive. Filled the hole. filled all the holes. Oh god.

Rachel:

That's the mythical hole.

Unknown:

It feels really bad. You're right in the heart. Really weird. Fan fictiony type stuff like what 50 shades came from? In fact, what it feels like to me as a fanfic that was unfinished. Yeah.

Rachel:

It fades fanfiction which fifth Jade was a fanfiction about Twilight. So it's like,

Margie:

oh, it was a book. It's a book trilogy. It's a Polish book.

Rachel:

Why didn't we? But that doesn't mean it didn't start as fan.

Margie:

Oh, yeah. Let's see here. Um,

Rachel:

we should have read the book. Oh,

Margie:

it's called 365 D and I actually seen this book. Like I think I've seen it on so shocker. The protagonist lives. But uh, wow. Yeah. Oh, I told you me. So Laura gets kidnapped again by a game by a guy named Marcello, quote unquote Nacho Matos.

Unknown:

Nachos in the mix.

Margie:

Because she's only human and has a touch of Stockholm Syndrome. She quote unquote, falls for her latest kidnapper, which establishes the trilogy's love trying Mr Nacho will be my baby's daddy. Okay, can I not only

Rachel:

break I have a recommendation for under the covers actually, guys I'm on I'm going to be right now looking at the trivia section it's pretty fucking problematic.

Margie:

Yeah, that's a word.

Rachel:

Is it too bad to write? No, we're

Margie:

gonna write it because it doesn't have any it doesn't have any underage Ness in it. I think that's the role it gets but it gets a zero. Yeah, yeah, everything about it. i Every well without it. I hate everything.

Rachel:

Is it's no across the board. I asked to

Margie:

see my face. It's just a horror. It's like I'm smiling. Like at the end of midsummer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Channeling right out like just like

Unknown:

can I guess? Because you had to watch it twice. Do you feel like the second time

Margie:

it was worse you're getting it was actually worse. So I described it to Rachel I was like the first time was a finger The second time was a speculum. Graphic sorry about

Rachel:

that. So the way this is going to work, right listeners, just so you guys know. So this is our episode about this movie, which was terrible. And now the rest of us in In real lifetime. The rest of us are going to go watch this movie. But in podcast time, head on over to movie virgins feed where there's another episode of all of us talking about it after we've all watched it. And also my husband has decided he wants to watch it with me when I have to watch it. So this could be interesting. We're gonna do under the covers. Do you guys want to go ahead and throw your plugs in one last time at the end of this? Probably will find Yes.

Unknown:

Lindsey, do you want to do the volume? Okay, I'll do it. Um, yeah, so you can find us at movie virgins pod and then we are different streaming on all the podcast platforms like Spotify, Apple, I'm trying to think. Other ones I don't know. CASS I like pod bean pod bean is our host, but I'm just totally watching this. The point is, we're out there, you can find us. We have quite a few episodes, our movies range in like tastes, I guess because Lindsay's really into kind of the MCU and the dramatic stuff. And then I we have everything from the godfather to twist. No, but that's border and that's why I'm saying yeah, you get you got quite a range of movie. So um, yeah, but um, we have fun. It's it's a lot like this just us talking about the movie and ask them questions. Yeah,

Rachel:

that's a blast and go check us out because we're gonna be on it. We are on it. And hey, thank you alien. Are you for the use of your song? Oh, love of the album be held a great tune. I love it. It's wonderful. Go check that

Margie:

out. Is it every two weeks do?

Rachel:

And it's great. Um, and I think Hey, guys, thanks for hanging in there. And yes, I do know we say that every single week, but it's relevant every single week. So yeah,

Margie:

I think I'm actually gonna have to I have not had wine since a little over a week. And I think I'm gonna have to break it.

Rachel:

To thank you guys so much for joining in as we talked about this movie, and that was a lot of fun. There's so much fun to talk about fun IMDb facts about this movie. It'd be fun. All right. Enjoy.