Textual Tension
The comedy podcast that unpacks the bananas world of romance novels! Tune in every other Tuesday as one co-host, either Margie or Rachel, recount a romance novel to the other unsuspecting co-host.
Whether you love romance, love comedy, or love both, join us on our truly bananas comedy adventure!
Textual Tension
Ep. 61: To the Vampire Vatican! (feat. The Ladies of Strange)
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It's finally here! What better way to kick off the new year than with an unprecedented crossover? Now what if that crossover were also a long awaited sequel to our ongoing Twilight series?! Your co-hosts Margie and Rachel are joined this week by The Ladies of Strange to talk all about Stephenie Meyer's New Moon! Get ready for a ride everyone!
Hello, and welcome to textual tension. I am your co host, Rachel, and every other week I jump on in here and tell you guys what's been going on in our little corner of the universe. We have a really, really special one for you today, guys, I'm super excited about it, it is a crossover with the ladies of strange, it's a little bit longer because I mean, honestly, I couldn't cut out everything, just because it was too much fun. It was absolutely fabulous. And we had a lot of fun with it. So I hope that this comes to you in a place where, you know, it'll give you a little bit of a smile today. And, hey, if you want to go check out the ladies of strange at the ladies of strange on all of their social media, that would be amazing. And hey, let's, let's knock the rest of these, the rest of these announcements out so that we can get you guys right into the episode. If you want to check us out on social media. We are at textual tension pod across the board. We love to hear from you guys on everything. So hit us up, give us book recommendations, just say hi, you know, let's we'll we'll check back with you. So hit us up on all that you can also go to our website at textual tension pod.com that has links to all of our social media as well as our merch store, and our Patreon, you can listen to the podcast on there as well and reach out to us. There's a contact form. And speaking of Patreon, a reminder, this is I think, the first episode coming out with our new Patreon goals. So actually, patrons some of you are listening to this maybe a day early because patrons get some early release stuff. So if you want to head on over to patreon.com/textual tension, you can check out all the really cool stuff that you could get for supporting us on Patreon. And if you're not in a position to be able to do that, that's totally fine. 100% cool. One thing you could do is maybe tell a friend about us, we would really appreciate that we want to really, you know, spread the word as much as we can. Because we love you guys, and we love what we do. So it would really mean the world to us. If you told a friend about us, maybe rate us on Apple podcast, something like that. That would be great. Um, and I think that's Oh, one quick note, programming note about this particular episode. We maybe missed a trigger. I'm not entirely sure, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Honestly, there is the mention of suicide in this book again. It's not like exactly, there, but better safe than sorry. Um, so just a heads up about that. So I think now that we've made it through all that, let's let me hit you with some of that romance novel wisdom. Hmm. Fair warning, you know, it's, it's been a week. And so today, I decided that instead, you can actually get some life romance life advice. Hey, guys. Cheese is never a bad idea. Yeah, that sounds about right. So without further ado, I bring you part two in our Twilight series, episode 61 to the vampire Vatican tearing me apart from Awesome. All right. Cool. Um, so Okay, so remember guys, this time spider monkey, spider monkey. Spider Monkey. Spider Monkey. So we're not going to get off top of it too. Like okay, you're like last time? Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, Margie head. I have a notebook.
Margie:Hello, and welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels. I am your co host, Margie, and I'm your co host Rachel. Every other week one of us reads and summarizes a romance novel for the other unsuspecting co host co host Excuse me. This week that co host is Rachel It's been with Oh, the ladies of strange. Oh, hello guys. Happy to have a show. And together we unpack what just happens
Rachel:and which makes it and post a time.
Margie:And would you guys like to both plug your portables and introduce yourselves?
Unknown:Absolutely. I'm Ashley. I'm Tiffany. And I'm Rebecca. And like Margie said, We are the ladies of strange we host a some have called it comedy podcast where we discuss all things questionable odd. in Erie, we dive into all sorts of things from penis festivals to serial killers to conspiracy theories. If you don't think it's up your alley, we'll find a way to get there.
Margie:They may just go diagonally
Unknown:diagonally god damn whatever gets the job done but yeah you should check us out you can find us on all the pod catchers and on all social media we are either the ladies of strange or just ladies have strange but yeah can you can
Rachel:also just if you can't find them just find us and then look for the repeated online internet lover for his love affair. Yeah, that we're having. So yeah, you'll get there
Unknown:it'll be at least from if not a shows page one of our host shows and it'll lead you the right Alright, so,
Rachel:monkey, spider monkey spider monkey. Okay, so listeners real quick. Let me go ahead. Do you want Margie Jeremy to go ahead and give the sort of background? Yes for everything or do you want to do that? Okay, cool. So listeners, this is our second time recording this episode. The first time we recorded for two hours and got less than 20% through the book and thus was spawned the safe word of spider monkey. So we are not getting off topic. I do not know this spider monkey reference. They all do. So, you know. And this is technically technically a two parter. So way back if we go back in the Wayback Machine and I will look it up as I'm talking about this. We discussed the first Twilight book book not movie book and scoring. Yeah. When what was it? What's the midnight sun? Yes, yes. Yeah. When that came out,
Margie:which I don't even know what sort of cosmological thing that references I don't know what a midnight sun is.
Rachel:It's a sure I'm not even ladder. Alright, spider, monkey,
Margie:spider, monkey spider monkey.
Rachel:So we have decided that because I have not read anything past the first book. We are going to do make a series out of this. And when we floated it to some friends that we like to discuss these things with. They were like, Hey, can we be on that? And those friends are the lit specifically Tiffany but the ladies.
Margie:I just want to say that. I've said the same thing about Tom Hiddleston. Hey, could we be on the right? Track?
Rachel:Okay, it was definitely. Spider it was definitely Oh, high school never ends episode 44. So if you haven't listened to that one yet, and you don't know what Twilight is? Maybe jump in on that one.
Unknown:Or if you don't know what Twilight is? Maybe skip that one. Save yourself some trouble fair.
Rachel:All right. All right. All right. All right. So
Margie:do you guys remember how much you guys remembered of the cover from the last time that you disgustedly Detailed cover? The of flower? Yes, it is a tulip. It is a white tulip that has gone through the science experiments of being put in. I want to say water red food coloring.
Unknown:Exactly what it is. On ad guys, if they actually used red dye
Margie:blood could a white could a tulip absorb. So
Unknown:that flower is a ruffled tulip, if anybody was curious, and, and Stephanie Myers has said that when it came to the second book, she had no say on the cover. And that's just what the marketing team chose.
Margie:Okay, I was just about to ask that because I was like, what is the analogy that they are going right here? I don't really understand.
Rachel:Oh, get you girl. Girls get ready for Rachel Google something. All
Margie:right. Whoa, hold on. Spider Monkey. Yes. Let's get started. This
Rachel:is relevant. Okay, this is totally relevant. I am going to the meaning of flowers because flowers are a language from Victorian times. It's a thing. So why tulips symbol symbolizes forgiveness.
Margie:Oh, that I actually track
Unknown:tracks. All right,
Margie:good. What does it mean when they're dipped in blood? No, fuck you.
Rachel:Yeah, hang on. We should actually hold on y'all. For those of you who are like me and I've never actually read the book because there are those people out there I have not. The book cover is black background, says New Moon in the very distinctive Twilight font. And it has a ruffled white tulip. Which I have just learned to me it's forgiveness. That looks like it is like been again in that sort of science experiment but with straight read like blood like flu food died and then there's a single petal drip. Yeah, a pen or draft coming down from it.
Margie:So I say this and I said this for the last book, I said this for Twilight for the time, which was probably what like 2007 2000 no later than that. No, actually 2007 2008 for at the time, it was a very striking cover. It caught your eye. You know, I mean, the photo is beautiful, so you get what they're going for. Alright, who wants to read the main scription of the book? Okay.
Rachel:Me. I'm the only one going in blind. Let it be me.
Margie:Okay. Well, Rachel. Oh, I have it. Do you have it? I have it. Oh, I'm so proud. Thank you.
Rachel:Thank you. So I don't know if this is how it is on the back cover of the actual book. But I am going to read this how it is written on Goodreads.
Unknown:Okay, ready. I
Rachel:felt like I was prepped in one of this terrifying nightmare. The one where you have to run run to your lungs burst. But you can't make your body move fast enough. But this was no dream. And unlike the nightmare, I wasn't running for my life, I was racing to save something infinitely more precious. My own life meant little to me today. For Bella Swan, there is one more important than life itself. Edward Cullen but being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could have ever could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire but now as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them. They realize their troubles. Maybe just beginning legions of readers and trans by the New York Times Best Okay, that's just never mind. That's it.
Margie:Rachel Bravo. That was
Rachel:Thank you. I felt like you know, I had to do it justice. Alright. You did you know it was written that way for a reason.
Margie:Are you guys ready for some triggers?
Unknown:Already? Sweet, not those type of triggers.
Rachel:I am almost done with my whiskey and I'm upset.
Margie:Okay, so, um, depression, self destructive behavior. Self harm. Murder.
Rachel:Oh, well, so Oh, come on. I need one more for bingo. Tiffany.
Margie:Emotional abuse. Yes. Okay.
Rachel:That's the first base emotional be?
Unknown:Absolutely. Okay. Just making sure like emotional manipulation. Yeah.
Margie:emotional manipulation. Um, Tiffany without being almost grooming. Yeah, yes. Okay. Tiffany, anything else that I'm missing?
Unknown:Not really, that you're missing. But I just want to point out that the fact that she values her life less than Edward Cullen that should tell you everything you need to know about this, but I have
Margie:the cheat. It's not even that. And I think this is a sign of depression is she values her life less than everyone else? I think that she values her life less than her parents, Jacob, everyone in her life that is important to her.
Rachel:So starting out strong, right. All right. So and ready. I would I would like to go ahead and start this out right now. Because High School Rachel would not have realized this. Your girl falls into some of those triggers categories, specifically having experienced emotional and verbal abuse. So boy High School, Rachel would not have understood that. Yeah,
Margie:I mean, right from someone who has depression. I was reading this book and I was like, Who boy triggers. Okay, so yeah. Anyway, let's argue in our books starts with Bella's birthday. And Bella is actually very unhappy that it's her birthday because it means that she is technically one year older than her sweet vampire boyfriend at work. And everyone wish everyone at fellows High School wishes Bella Happy Birthday. And she's like, Ill now.
Unknown:Oh, she's one of those people. Okay, she's like, Okay, girl, I'd
Margie:already Okay. Okay. So um, but Edwards family, the colons who are all vampires and are gonna live forever, right. Haven't celebrated a birthday in a really long time, and insist on throwing Bella a party, a birthday party, which is actually still do
Rachel:birthdays if you wanted,
Margie:right. Well. I mean, you technically have to if you're a vampire, yeah, that's true. But they're
Unknown:all at the point where they've been alive for so long that they don't enjoy celebrating it anymore. It's kind of a curse. Well, they obviously do enjoy celebrating birthdays if they're so excited to have a birthday party.
Margie:They enjoy it for her because it's technically like a growth point for them. They've never had a growth point. They're never going to age. So
Rachel:it is a growth point because now she's officially a year older, kind of not really. But then Edward so now she's basically a Spence God have over eggs dried up Jesus.
Unknown:Like Arizona in there
Margie:that's I love that. That was really good. Thank you. So Bella Bella is stubborn as we already know and tells Alice Colin like basically at this point your sister in law almost that six months. Yeah, but she's 18 Six months it's like forever like dating and dog here Right? Exactly. Apply it by seven. Edward is pretty much like her. Bella's boyfriend Edward vampire boyfriend Edward is like, please be nice. Just let my sister throw your birthday party and Bella, it's like, fine. I guess I'll just be chill about this. So later that night, Alice throws Bella a beautiful birthday party at the Colin's house and like they they are billionaires. So it really is a beautiful party. Um, but because Bella is a Cuban danger bagman. She gets a paper cut from the wrapping paper from one of the gifts and starts bleeding and Jasper, another one of the colon siblings, who is a much younger vampire like goes full on Rage Mode and tries to get a bite out of that. Gi
Rachel:I I have a couple really stupid questions just real quick. I can I can. One is okay. You bring your data in or danger magnet that you know is a danger. To a house full of vampires. Fine. I guess I'll let you throw me a birthday party. Oh no. I accidentally stabbed before through my hand. Oh, no. Okay. Well, no, but she would
Margie:know it's wrapping paper which is worse bag exists.
Rachel:God this is to be in a bubble soon. And to all of these vampires are in high school, supposedly. In a building full of four years of hormones and menstruation.
Margie:Spider Man
Unknown:signifies Spider Man. Spider Man Oh, no
Margie:spider monkey. Rachel.
Rachel:You're telling me no, you're telling me that a paper cut is going to make this guy go batshit when he's been around women for this long Okay, that is my only point I wanted to make. You read it show blood is different,
Unknown:apparently. Apparently. Okay.
Margie:I actually think that and we can go into this rant later, Rachel, I will be so glad to that. Stephenie Meyer actually explained this at one point
Rachel:under the covers, in addition to what we're going to talk about now under the covers under the cap. Okay, cool. Continue.
Margie:All right. So I'm Jasper tries to take a bite out of Bella and it totally ruins the mood of the party and belly gets injured because Edward like pushes her dramatically out of the way. And Carlisle Carlisle the father Doctor stitches her up daddy, doctor, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Doctor Bella reassures Edward she's so Bella's like she's got. I think she has like an injury on her head and an injury on her arm and she's like, she tells I'd listen, I'm fine. I know that this is a thing of having a vampire boyfriend. It's cool. Like it's not a big deal, but he is really, really upset. So over the next few days, Edwards mood, like just takes a total nosedive. In fact, he really grows more desperate with Bella. He's not as concerned with spending time with her. And she's like, I can tell like this true love thing. I thought it was gonna be like, a major thing of my life, but it seems it's not as big of a deal to him. So
Rachel:angst is strong with this one highschool relationship summed up
Margie:you know, I mean, yeah, high school never ends. So.
Rachel:God haha, that wasn't even the first time.
Margie:So okay, so since Bella, I just want to point this out because it's really cute. And I think it's one of the things that s Meyer like, tried to keep from the original Twilight book but didn't continue into Breaking Dawn was so since Bella has been hanging out with the colons her human friends have actually moved their whole group over to her in the cafeteria, which is really cute. Like they all just kind of like they all love Bella so much, which is like really surprising because she's not a good friend. They moved their their whole group over to the colon table.
Unknown:I have a theory on that. Not really a theory but uh, I guess it is everybody was curious about the colons like to the point where they were like, they'd walk into the remember to kind of like, stop and stare. So they had their end. And as scary as it would be, they had their end to go over there and get to know them. Think about
Margie:it in the other sense of getting to know them. Maybe they just wanted to get to know them. So yeah, you know, anyway, that's really cute. And I love that ballot theory I liked I really liked that.
Rachel:So like, I would have dropped Bella as a friend and a goddamn her. And we'll
Margie:get into that because she's not a good friend.
Unknown:A good friend, right? Exactly. 1,000%.
Margie:So a few days after Bella's birthday party, our son Jasper suddenly stopped appearing at school. And I want to know that Rosalie and Emmett had stopped appearing a few months before that because they were on their like six honeymoon or something like that. Like they had great they technically quote unquote, graduated from Forex high school so they didn't have to show up and wait.
Rachel:Okay, I have no concept for these other names. And you guys will know because I've ever chats I've been calling things like Vampire, daddy, human, daddy, etc. So two of the high schoolers, the people pretending to be high schoolers were actually married. Yes,
Margie:they were actually married.
Rachel:Okay, yes.
Margie:So great. Let's just go over this really quick. So we have Carlisle was the first vampire and he changed Empire Daddy, I'm sorry, daddy, and he changed Edward. And then after he changed Edward, I think he changed Rosalie after that, and he was it.
Unknown:I thought it was his when he changed his wife, okay. I
Margie:don't know if it was as me. So as me it was either as May 1 Who is kind of like the mother, Carla and her mom, her vampire mom. Right. And then Rosalie who was meant to be Edwards partner. Yeah. And okay, Edward just didn't have feelings for her. And then our vampire spurned lover got it. And then eventually, it wasn't I don't know how long it was ago, but not that long. Rosalie found in the woods ever tried to fight a bear we're not getting into that drive to fight a bear. Ever tried to find a bear at last as a Cuba because you know, he's a human. And Rosalie found him and changed him into a vampire and carried a vampire bear wrestler. I
Unknown:got a side note. He's like my favorite of the colons. Okay. All right.
Margie:I know when Alice joined into the family, but she was already a vampire when she I remember
Rachel:Carlile Alice from the movie. She's the pixie get spunky one that I actually liked. Yes. Yes. So if
Unknown:she showed up and was like, You're my family, vampire, Tiffany,
Margie:pretty much. It was with Rachel and Zach. And then she actually started having visions about Jasper being her life partner, because she gets to the future.
Rachel:You know what, I'm not going to go that. Sure. Great.
Margie:So you probably found Jasper because like, being able to see the future and all of that and brought him back brought him into the fold. So that's the family right? Okay, so we have to move on. Alright, so
Rachel:go just go
Margie:Bella, we're moving back to Edward in Bella's life has started to change. And she can tell because like, apparently they're soulmates, whatever. You know, Edward is really starting to become distant with Bella and Bella is starting to panic. She's like, okay, like, they're all vampires, it must be time for them to leave. And he doesn't want to tell me like, he knows that we're all gonna have to move it herself included to just to make it so that they don't have to hide forever. You know, like, very
Rachel:sure, right? Getting to the end of the 10 years, roughly right, right. We're right.
Margie:So when Bella returned home from work, because she is working at an outdoors store, okay, it's just really funny because she's not outdoorsy at all. No, Edwards like hey, let's go take a walk. And she's like, Okay, this is it. Like he's gonna tell me what's really going on? It's gonna tell me why he's been so distant. He's gonna tell me where his family fucking is. And
Rachel:hey, human friend. Let's go for an alone walk in the woods with me a vampire. Betsy?
Unknown:She would be so down for that. But yeah, I mean, oh, we've
Margie:already been through that. Rachel there though. That's the last book right sorry. So he he actually takes her within like walking distance of her house. And is like, an Edward is like okay, Bella. My family is leaving. If you haven't noticed half of over half of us already gone and Bella's like, okay, all right. I really didn't want to leave my parents. I didn't really want to have to explain to my parents what was happening already, but like, Okay, where are we going? And Edwards like, Okay, what I said we, I didn't mean you.
Unknown:I had a high school boyfriend break up with me like that to
Rachel:six months, I want to say have been together for six months, right?
Margie:I think that that's a short so like, Tiffany, her leg injury was pretty substantial. So we're gonna say that it was like at least six months, if not eight months that they
Rachel:came together. Okay. Eight months? Yeah.
Unknown:Look again at 18 1717. Right.
Rachel:I started dating Zach, when I was 16, almost 17 hormones all over the place at eight months. And he said, Hey, we're leaving out of in like us sex by
Margie:by Rachel soulmates.
Unknown:I relate to Bella in so many ways. Because when I first read a vampire or not Vampire Diaries, that was a good one too. But when I first read Twilight, I was going through a serious depressive state at night. Just like all consuming, and I related to her because she's a character that's written very broad and plain so anybody can adapt. Sure, yeah. But the way she latches on to him is the way I latch on to everything in my life. So you guys are screwed.
Margie:Oil please latch on to me. Yes. Yes.
Unknown:I am on suckle suckle.
Margie:No, I hated that. I love it. Rachel.
Unknown:Spider monkey. I relate to her and I would have been the same way.
Margie:So Bella is pretty stunned by Edwards admission that he doesn't want her to come with them. And she's like, Look, I get that the whole Jasper thing was awkward. I get that it wasn't what you wanted for me. But it's it was bound to happen. It was bound to happen at some point and I'm fine. Look at me. I'm fine. I'm alive. Everything's all good. And I love you. And but Edwards like, look, this isn't about that. I really just don't want you. And Bella looks into his eyes and can Seve can see that. It's true. Like
Rachel:Oh, right. Yeah, because everyone that's basically why even do polygraphs, it's fine. You
Margie:just want to play it. Listen, listen, I have a lot of critiques of this book, but she right heartache. Okay, I felt that moment. I was like, oh my god, like, what
Rachel:I mean, that's very fair, you also have to understand that and I fully admit this, I'm coming into this a little bit biased because I know where this book series goes, kinda I've just feel like
Margie:I'm gonna play devil's advocate a little bit because and I'm not saying it because like, I like this book series, because I don't, but there are parts of it that I just like I helped us to import. Okay, so
Rachel:well, and I want that's the reason we have Tiffany and everyone else on is because Tiffany and Margie I know you are going to kind of defend this, which I want. And I have no context. And then Ashley, Rebecca, you got to come in with the other stuff, man. Got it.
Margie:You got it. Ready? Yeah, spider monkey. Okay, spider monkey now for this one is this. Listen, guys, so this is really crazy. So Edward just leaves. Edward is like, Don't get into any trouble. Like don't get into yourself into danger. Goodbye. And he leaves he does that that vampire thing reuses the superspeed and she like wanders around round into the woods like looking for him just like an Arco de Yeah, literally. And a complete day's looking for him. And then she literally just curls up. I think no, she sprained her ankle and then she just doesn't bother getting up after she sprained her ankle. That's the
Unknown:part that I related to with the club. That's the only time I ever related to her. I've seen you do that before where it's like a minor inconvenience. You're just like
Rachel:I'm done.
Unknown:I'm just gonna curl into a ball and stay here forever.
Margie:So she lays there and she's lying in Just basically a state. I'm just going to call it a state until this guy named Sam comes in Finder and she kind of noticed this before he comes to find, sir, like a little, like, like a dog snuffling around her. You know, just like a little sniff. Yeah. Good sniff like that
Unknown:one terrible. Good. Hey,
Margie:and he comes in, picks her up and carries her home. The it's explained to Charlie and she hears this that Dr. Kira Lila Colin, did you guys see that?
Rachel:Okay, can't get by
Margie:Dr. Kyler Carlisle, Colin has moved to a hospital in LA, which is completely impossible. He would never move to a hospital in LA. And they're not coming back son.
Rachel:Wouldn't they have a better if they're really trying to get away from Bella, when they have a better cover story than a light said she knows they're vampires.
Margie:Well, that's the thing, though, is that I think that they chose la because she knows that they would never go there. But she also doesn't know where they went.
Unknown:Yeah, she has been like, way attract for her to try and sniff. So I
Margie:just want to got up to snuff out exactly. So she really just goes into. So this is hard, a little bit because Bella goes into a state. And when I say that, I don't mean like the Victorian sense. I mean, like the depression sense in that, like there are pages of just months that go by so that October, November, December, January, waking up so she doesn't quote unquote wake up out of this depressive non, like she's not absorbing memories, I guess we're supposed to assume state until February. And it says, so it says four is waking up. That's chapter four time passes, even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes on evenly in strange lurches and Dragon lols. But pasa does, even for me.
Rachel:So, so I respect that like, especially as an 18 year old, like that is a really good gut wrenching kind of like, you know, it gets that across, but at the same time, you are 18 and your boyfriend broke up with you.
Unknown:I mean, I do love, love, but I do get that. But as somebody who deals with depressive episodes, and exactly like, when you're going through something dark like that, that's what it's like, well, I will give her credit for that. I have to agree with Tiffany.
Rachel:That is totally Yeah. And I I do not have depression. So I do not, I am not a person with depression. So I do not know that. But I think that if this book addressed it as Yes, depressed depression, it would be better, but I feel like it's more of a dress just as Yeah, this is fine for you. This
Margie:we're gonna you know, I think that the likening, especially in the early to, you know, up until 2010 was or 2015 Even was depression and anxiety were like into like tuberculosis in the Victorian era where it was very fashionable to
Rachel:I can see that you know what I? Yeah, as a hot topic, haunt. Right, right. Right. My high school I could see
Margie:that. And I think that Bella kind of fulfills that mold. Yeah. And yeah, I'm looking back on it. It's really anyway, um, she wakes up Bella quote unquote wakes up because her dad Charlie, who is a saint is like, Bella, I am sending you back home. i Yeah, that's that's Charlotte. Rachel's Charlie. Daddy,
Unknown:Bella, human Daddy. Oh,
Margie:no. Well, I want you to know Rachel's that people are pairing Charlie with Carlisle which I totally hear.
Rachel:That's fine. Who did we decide was Carlisle was vampire daddy. I think Becca was
Unknown:Daddy right? Yeah. Oh, Becca is holding a cat. I would ship you too hard. Simon. No, no,
Rachel:I am in no way opposed. All right. So.
Margie:Okay, so Charlie's like, I am sending you back to Phoenix. You need to be with your mother. You are not doing well here. I cannot just let you waste away here. Okay, just making sure. And Bella is like, Charlie, I'm fine. It's chill. I'm totally cool. And he's like, No, you're not. And she's like, Yeah. I hanging out with a friend tonight we're going to the movies. And Charlie's like, Yeah, sure. Um, and actually so like, and it's this really shitty thing where she manufactures this whole evening out with Jessica, who's Anna Kendrick? I believe in the movie. I think it's Anna Kendrick in the movie. Yeah, it is. And like, like, goes up to Jessica and is like, hey, like, how you doing? And Jessica's, like you haven't talked to me in four months. And suddenly you want to hang out and Bella's like, yeah, I need some girl time. And Jessica's like, okay, okay. And they go to a movie, which Bella sits out a lot of because poor Bella is having anxiety attacks. I think she at least has two panic attacks for the hole in the movie. Um, and it's really sad. But she also doesn't tree I think that she doesn't train Jessica ver. I don't think she carries Jessica well that night at all. So at the end after the movie is over. Bella and Jessica are I think they're looking to get dinner Yes. And Bella season to this bar and she sees these people who look kind of like the Colin's walk into the bar. And she's like, I got to go into that bar. Now, Bella, is 17 She cannot walk into a bar. And Jessica knows this. And Jessica's like, Bella, what are you doing? Stop, come back. And Bella's like, No, I just got a check. I just got to check. I just gotta check. And just because like doing and suddenly Bella in her head, hears Edwards voice telling her Oh, good. Don't go into the bar. What are you doing? What What? What are you doing? Like, what, what? What are you doing? And he's like a turn around and go back to Jessica. And so Bella feels the first moment of like life in her for months.
Rachel:Okay, so I thought that he couldn't get in her head. You couldn't? You can't. Okay, yeah.
Margie:Which makes worse. See how it gets worse from that?
Rachel:Yeah, yeah, that's not good. Good. Good now, and also I thought she was 18 she only seven? I
Margie:think at this point. I am 99% Sure. She's only 17 because she can't walk and she's only 17 Yeah, cuz she can't walk into that bar. And you can walk into bars when you're 18.
Rachel:So Edward is only 16.
Margie:Edward. Edward was seven. And Wilson was 17. She was upset that so she turned 17 past 17 She's getting older than him.
Rachel:Okay, I still say that I would I love Zach to death, I would not want to still be with 17 year old Zach. But okay, let's keep going.
Margie:So, um, so at that moment, and well, not necessarily at that moment, but later on Bella realizes that when Bella is being quote unquote, stupid or reckless, as Edward said, Oh, I see whether it's going to not be she can hear Edwards voice in her mind. So I
Rachel:remember the commercial for the movie and her driving off of a cliff and that is all I remember.
Margie:The book, but it could happen in the movie. Tiffany, you have to admit that could have been what happened in the movie? It could have been I'm pretty
Unknown:sure that they made it appear that way in the trailer. Trailer. I've
Rachel:never seen the movie.
Margie:Okay. I don't know that. So, okay, I never saw the movie. So um, so after this encounter, where Bella hears Edwards voice in her mind in a moment of danger. Bella is determined to hear Ed's Edwards voice again, no matter what the costs. So she's learning to be an ad, okay, she's driving down the road and she's like, how do I do this? How do I do this? How do I get myself into danger enough? Where I'm in danger, or I feel like I'm in danger, but I'm not going to die. And she sees two motorcycles for free on the side of the road. They're dead. It says they're dead. And she's like, Cool and she has she's throws them in the back of her track. And she drives to her good friend Jacob blacks house now. Rachel, do you remember who Jacob Black is? Wolf boy? Well, so we're getting getting those spoiler alert.
Rachel:Oh, sorry. I know. Okay, okay. poorly represented Native American character in the movies
Margie:they're also doing they do make meaning. Um, so in the previous book, Jacob hat is in the cannot pronounce the name Quileute tribe. And she had hung out with him in the previous book at law push beach. And he had told her about quote, unquote, the cold ones, aka the colons. Oh, right. He's the
Rachel:one that yeah, that narc. You narcs
Margie:Right. Exactly. And but she also knows that Jacob works on cars, and that Jacob and the previous book was in to her. So she's like, maybe home, you know, bring these motorcycles back to life. And she brings him the motorcycles and he is more than willing to bring these motorcycles back to life. And he's like, it's really cute. Because he's really young. He's younger than her and like, it's gonna cost a lot of money. And she's like, how much and he's like, it's gonna cost like $100 Okay, child, maybe. You so precious at this point, he becomes an asshole. Well, as
Unknown:as you're saying that I am starting to feel real bad about the thoughts that ran through my head during the move right now. So innocent,
Margie:so um, we were a lot younger. Yeah. Well, so for sure. And, and also, Jacob is willing, Jacob is like, hey, let's hang out. You know, while I working on the bikes, you can like chill here and we'll just talk and you can work on homework. And it's Shelton for Bella works perfectly because she's out of the house. So Charlie isn't worried about her. And she really likes hanging out with Jacob, who was just a really good friend like Jacob. It's just like a really warm, comforting presence to her. And he's like, you know, nipping at her heels and just like, you know, rubbing against her leg and
Rachel:that's a lot of cat stuff. In her
Margie:in her lap, and just like rolling on. We're bringing
Rachel:her bunnies that he's killed. Weird. quirky little quirk. Can I just say I just watched the trailer while we were discussing this. Yes, they make it look like she jumped off a cliff. Okay,
Margie:well, that's actually fair. Spider that's it. They had this really cute joke of they argue who was quote unquote, older between the two of them based on experience. So they say that she's older because she's traveled more but he's older because he has more experience with cars and it's just kind of cute like I see what s Meyer was doing your I mean, um,
Unknown:so that that's great for somebody mental health who spiraled into a depressive episode because they were getting older than their boy
Margie:that was really good. Thank you. And it's basically arguing dog years between the two of them. So
Rachel:wow, I still have no idea where this is going.
Margie:So Jacob Avella start getting closer hang out almost every day they become almost best friends because honestly, Jacob's best friends have kind of left him they have all joined this quote unquote gang and as Jacob explains to Bella, lead pack if you will. Sorry. Oh, this yes this pappy will Oh, exactly. And understand what's going to happen I don't know and they're real in shape is really upset by he's really worried about his friends. He's like, they all seem to be following after Sam all the sudden and I don't understand why they won't talk to me anymore. But they're all giving me this really weird looks. And I'm and Bella's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I don't know what's happening, but I'm totally here for you. And Jacobs like thanks. I really appreciate it. Let's just keep hanging out as much as possible and they both do. So after that,
Rachel:do you have good memory now? Yes,
Margie:fine mother. So Well, I told you guys before excuse me that that Bella's Friends had joined the colons right. So now Bella has just rejoined the original cafeteria group, but she just thought she had not spoken to anyone in that group for like four months. And then all of a sudden she did. And they're like what? You're actually Okay, a couple of cute moments because one of her friends Angela's like, Are you back now? And Bella Angela, so wholesome, Angela's so wholesome. And Bella's like, Yeah, I think I am back. And Angela's like, good, because I really missed you. And it's just so Oh, I know. So I'm sure so but now that Bella is quote unquote, alive, I guess I would say it. Mike Newton is like laser eyes. He's got his laser High School eyes on Bella. And he's like, Hey, let's go to the movies and Bella's like, oh, oh, I see where this is going. Um, yeah, let's go to the movies with all of our friends. Unfortunately, all of the friends can't come like literally all the friends can come. So it ends up being Bella and Mike, and Jacob. It doesn't get awkward. No, not at all. Okay, Bella is sitting in the middle in this movie theater with her like hands across her chest. Because both boys want to hold her hand.
Rachel:The friends said they couldn't come but Mike Newton definitely threatened to break their kneecaps.
Unknown:I was like, No, we're not. We're not going anymore. Guys. Don't worry about it. We're not.
Margie:Okay, so they watch the zombie movie. Mike runs out in the middle of the movie and Bella. Yeah, I know. Like, hey, maybe you should go check on them. So they, Jacob goes into the bathroom and checks on him and Bella like stands outside the bathroom. And Jacob comes out and is like, oh god, he's got a stomach flu. He is really, really sick. And in that time, when Mike is puking his guts out in the bathroom. Bella and Jacob had this like heart to heart. You know, the perfect time to have a heart
Unknown:hurt. And outside of the men's room and
Margie:Exactly, I mean, it's so teenager, right? Um, and they Bella's like, Listen, what it comes down to is I was in love with this one guy. I'm not going to stop being in love with him. And I am not going to enter another relationship. And Jacob is like, I will be here waiting. I'm still your friend and I still really care about you. And that's like, what comes out of the conversation that they had. Mike comes out of the bathroom. They drive my home. He is a wreck. Poor guy. God had the the stomach flu is just the worst. Right? Everyone feels
Rachel:okay. But mid COVID Rachel is like no. Why is he not quiet? Why is everyone not quarantining? This is not okay. masks should have been warning. So right. Everyone in
Unknown:that theater needs to quarantine? Yes.
Margie:So they go home. Bella's like, tells her dad I feel fine. The next morning, of course, or like later on that evening. She feels terrible. She had sea flu. Right? She gets stomach flows. She feels awful. And I have to say Charlie is not that great of a dad. He like leaves her glass of water that goes to work. I
Rachel:would do that. Yeah, do that.
Unknown:Make him a bad dad.
Rachel:I'm human daddy. No, I wouldn't do that. I would take care of somebody and get her a
Margie:lease Pedialyte.
Unknown:I mean, that is the same one that when she was going through her episode, he's like, ah, go back to Arizona. Go to your MCO talk to your mother. He's so wholesome, but totally does not know what
Margie:he loves. So much. Um, so after this episode of Rachel, Rachel, but
Rachel:I'm feeling attacked right now.
Margie:After this episode where Bella is sick, she calls Jake was like, hey, when when do you want to hang out? And Jacob was like, I really don't feel good. I feel awful. And Bella's like, Oh, it's a stomach flu. You're gonna get over it. It's cool. And and you'll be the stomach flu. He does not talked to her and she's like, why is going on? What in the hell is going on? And so she sits outside of his house. She drives up to his house and sits outside because he will not returning calls when she didn't have a cell phone, which doesn't surprise me for Bella colon, or Bella Bella Swan excuse me later Oh shit. So Jay does not have like he she just sits outside his house because she's like, You did talk to me. And so he shows up eventually. Shirtless Of course.
Unknown:Right here, wait, he's underage note with
Rachel:the width. He's like 16 with Sam,
Margie:which is the guy that that was, like the leader of the cult that Jacob was previously upset about? Yes, Rachel,
Rachel:can I call something? He went through his time of the month and became a big boy and became a werewolf. Maybe? So and also if I had $1 for every time I thought I had the stomach flu and actually turned into a werewolf, baby.
Margie:So and he, Rachel, Rachel, why do I keep saying Rachel? Okay, so
Rachel:I'm feel like you're projecting.
Margie:Bella. It's like, hey, what? What is the deal? Why won't you talk to me? And Jacobs like you need to stay away from me. I cannot hang out with you. I'm dangerous. Like it's it's well, it's too dangerous. And like, I don't want to hurt you. And good for me.
Rachel:She's a fucking danger magnet. Of course everyone wants to protect.
Margie:Right? So she's devastated because she's lost her boyfriend. Now. She's lost her best friend who she's had for two days. Anyway.
Unknown:I relate. She loves she loves deep.
Margie:She goes. So Bella goes through at least like a few days where she doesn't hear from Jacob. And I have to admit it is very sad. But in those days, she finds ways to make herself occupied, which is see Do you guys remember? The meadow?
Rachel:Oh, is this the baseball place? Or is this the sparkle
Margie:sparkle place? Oh, okay, sparkly. So Bella is like a charm. And she's like, I'm gonna find the sparkle place on my own. Because I want to hear Edwards voice again. She thinks that if she goes back to the marketplace, she will hear Edwards voice and she that's totally, totally helpfully O'Neill. You know. Fortunately, she so she makes it there. She has a whole panic attack while she's there. And it's great that Lauren shows up. Do you guys remember Lauren? are good friends. So
Unknown:you say that name and all of a sudden I get I guess I do remember him even if it's subconscious. Oh,
Margie:Lawrence was in the previous book. James like targeted Bella and decided he was going to kill Bella to make Edward jealous and unhappy. So Solid motivation, right. So Lawrence was attached to James was like part of the same quote unquote coven. And so when Bella is in this meadow, she's like, Oh, hey, what's up, Lauren? This totally cool. I haven't seen a vampire forever. And he's like, so where's your boyfriend? And she's like, Oh, no, he's around. Around it's show having a boy or whatever. You know, like you would be totally chill if we hung out. And Laura was like, Yeah, hang out. Do you really drink your blood? Because that's what I'm gonna do. And she's like, do
Unknown:you see my red eyes that are a gold?
Margie:Right, so Belen knows that Laura is planning on drinking your blood. She's like, okay, like this is it? Oh, no gold
Rachel:Swiper no swiping.
Margie:Out of the forest come these five humongous wolves? And she's like, What are those things? And they chase after Lauren and run him off and she like comes out of it alive. So after that, she goes home. Well, so she what she learned from the encounter with Lauren though is that this other vampire don't go in the woods. Yeah. That's fair, but also that this other vampire that James was involved with? Victoria is looking to kill Bella.
Rachel:Okay, yes. I would like to mention that you could replace a good chunk of this plot just replace the vampires with mafia men and It would make total sense what?
Margie:Me what yeah, I'll get into that later but so
Unknown:good actually are done. I wouldn't be mad at
Margie:Ashley I get you. Okay, so,
Unknown:but somebody does a lot of people tell me I need
Margie:a mafia dude, I get so many tiktoks Where it's like if you take these people get a therapist and I'm like, I think these people already have a therapist, so we're good.
Rachel:I still dig
Unknown:right now. So spider monkey. Oh, is that day goes by Oh, see,
Margie:that's spider monkey. Oh, yes, spider. Spider Monkey. Oh, poor Bella goes home that afternoon like she hikes home. And she's like thinking that she's gonna die because there's this vampire s, vampire vampire s whatever you want to call it after her. And she wakes up in the middle of the night to knocking on her window, which I don't know what vampire, like, knocks on a window, whatever. But it's Jacob's. Well. They let it have to be when they would have to be like, Yeah, I was thinking to your right. But these dampers do not need to be let in. So I'm right. She wakes up and she's like, freaked out. And it's Jake about her window and he swings into her room and says, I am so sorry for and I said to you, but I am in a really tough situation right now. And I need you to guess what is happening to me. And, like 20 questions? Yes, word.
Unknown:Isn't she on this second?
Margie:Yes. Okay, Jacob, get a tree. He's wolf boy. Okay. So
Unknown:one of you is right, I think
Margie:he does use a tree. So, um, he's like, listen, I cannot tell you what happened to me or why I can't be your friend anymore. But you can guess and then we can still be friends. And she's like, dude, really? And check
Unknown:through this once and it didn't
Margie:take it's like, yeah, by and leaves. And she thinks about it. And she thinks about their first encounter on the beach. When he was telling her when Jacob was telling Bella about the cold ones. And she was like, Wait, Jacob told me about some other creatures. Wait, he told me about werewolves is shakable where?
Rachel:Oh, my God. I'm so surprised. Right? gasps
Margie:so Shachi goes back up to to Jacob. And the whole pack. I will mention it says like, I know what you are. And I get it. You're werewolf. I guessed. And Jacob gets into a fight. And then the rest of the pack is like, well, she guessed All right, I guess she said.
Rachel:Well, there's nothing we can do now.
Margie:Well, Jacob is in a fight with another werewolf. So Jay comes out of the fight that he had with his friend because he told Bella about the werewolves. And he takes Bella to the beach and they kind of have a chat. And he's like, we've been chasing after this particular vampire. And she's like, Oh, the one that you found me with that day in the woods, because now that I know that your vampires are vampires cut, dammit. Alright, Bella, tells Jacob Hey, that vampire. You found me in the woods that you found me within the woods. Did you kill him? And Jacob was like, yeah, it's chill. We totally killed him. It's fine. You don't have to worry. And she's like, awesome. Great. I really didn't like that vampire. And he's like, and Jacobs like, Yeah, but we're still looking for this other vampire we know is around and she's like, Huh, I'm really what do they look like? And I think that Jacob describes, describes her knees like, and Bella's like, oh, no, that's Victoria. Was
Rachel:that the one that's gonna kill her?
Margie:Yes,
Unknown:that visually. Got it. Got it. Yes. So, so. So, good friend.
Rachel:Fantastic,
Unknown:Jacob.
Margie:It's like we're hunting this other vampire. And Bella's like, Huh? What vampire and he describes he's like, Oh, we think that she is like red hair. She looks like this. She looks like that. And Bella's, like, holy shit. I know that vampire. I know her. And he's like, really? Victoria, by the way, she's been She's been like, after me for months now. That's what Lauren told me. Was that like, she wanted to get those deep thank boys. This neck. Yeah. Shock. So, so. So uh, Jacob is like, holy shit. Well, this is perfect because like as much as I don't like the fact that a vampire is hunting you we do kind of Get to use you as bait like sort of. Like, while I was reading this, I was questioning, like, does Victoria not know how to use a phonebook? It's still like 2008 There's still around, she could use a phonebook and figure out where Bella lives to just go to that address. But that would make way too much sense. So, so I'm actually things kind of like, remain in stasis sort of she gets to know the rest of the werewolves like and their families I and it's like Bella's just happy to have Jacob back in her life. But unfortunately Jacobs time a lot is to take Jacob time is taken up with being a werewolf or going off and doing where won't be things like you know, pack blood for life. Yo. So like, Sam will be like, we got to go find Victoria. We heard she was over there. Jacob like cool. Let's go get her at that. I never catch her. So then one day, unfortunately, Jacob either gets Jacob leaves a message for Bella. Hey, I'm not gonna be able to hang out today because I've got to do some werewolf II shit peace out. And she's really upset disappointed because they were going to go diving it's like Bella could hear her boyfriend again. You know that boyfriend? That one so fellas like, um, but I still need to hear but I like actually still need to hear his voice otherwise this dark void inside me screaming WAKE ME UP INSIDE can't wake up will not shut up. So she comes out she's like, but then she's like, Hmm, the weather is like really bad today. And I'm alone. And no one knows where I am. So just go Cliff Diving by myself. You know? So, she does the weather's turning terrible. And she's like, this is great. This is fine. And she she like gets up to the top of the cliff. She starts hearing Edwards voice and he's like, please don't do this. Please fucking don't do this. Even her subconscious is like Oh, shit. And Bella's like nom definitely gonna do it and she jumped
Unknown:jumped big
Margie:jumps and hits the water real hard. Nearly drowns nearly die. Yes. But while she's out there flailing and you know being dramatic underwater, she sees like a like a flash of red. And then really just black.
Rachel:Just keep going just keep going.
Margie:So she wakes up on the beach because ducted up wave red be Jacob showed up and saved her and pulled her out of the water. So she's fine. Really got water in her lungs. She probably still should have gone to the hospital. But you know what, this is Bella Swan. She is She she went to the hospital every time she needed to go to the hospital. Her deductible would be filled up by like February. So Jacob takes her home and as he's driving home, she looks at at she sees in her driveway. I just got really excited. You know, daddy, vampire rich daddy vampire, who I would be very excited to to speak to I want a billionaire on my driveway. Except well. No, actually, I don't anyway. So Jacob was like, I'm not letting you out. I smell vampire. She's like, but this vampire is cool. I promise. Like, let me out. Let me out. Let me out of the car, please. Yeah,
Rachel:she has a huge history of it being fine.
Margie:So Jacobs, like alright, I guess we aren't friends anymore. See ya. And she hops out of the car and goes inside her house. And it's Alice, who's there? Oh,
Rachel:I like Alice. I know her name. I like and
Margie:Bella is so happy to see Alice. She's like Alice is like, hey, quick question. How are you alive? Like, what do you be? Oh, shit to you. It looks like I jumped off a cliff.
Rachel:You know, what they say about assumptions? Right?
Margie:It's fine. To see the future.
Unknown:It's not assumptions. It's about telepathy, but that's not the right
Margie:word. And so Bella, so Alice was like, I'm sorry, I really was not trying to watch you. But then I just got this vision of you jumping. And I was like, fuck. So I came home to came back to forks to at least like help out Charlie. And Bella's like, oh, sorry. No, I jumped off a cliff because it was for fun as well. So I was Bella actually is on in in the house alone for a little bit because unfortunately, Charlie, her dad's best friend died of a heart attack. So Charlie's I hate this part of the book. Charlie's at like at the hospital or like doing funeral arrangement, kind of
Rachel:so it's gonna ask where human Daddy was like,
Margie:so you can stay it's fine Charlie won't mind Charlie loves you like it's chill, please stay for a couple days analysis like okay, I guess I can just stay for a couple days and like see how you're doing what life is like. And Charlie goes back to funeral planning things. And Bella and Alice like talk they catch up and all that, and Jacob shows up at the house. So, um, a phone call is the phone rings. And Jacob actually answers that and says, No, he's at the funeral. And Bella was like, Who was that? And and then Alice comes running into the room but it's like, oh, no, oh, no. Oh, no OSHA, OSHA, OSHA. And she was like Bella's, like, who was on the phone Jacob and Bella finds out it was Edward asking where Charlie was he? And Charlie answered with at the funeral. Turns out his other sister Rosalie had called up Edward and said, hey, guess what? Bella's dead
Rachel:communication is honestly so important in a relationship.
Margie:Which is why there's none of it. Right? So now Alice comes in the room and it's like, Hey, uh, so Edward thinks you're dead. And he's gonna have some people kill him. Basically, he's gonna commit try to commit suicide?
Rachel:Holy escalation Batman.
Unknown:Bad. Batman can
Rachel:go home. Okay, nevermind, it's fine.
Margie:So they Alice and Bella, hop on a plane from Seattle, or from forks or wherever the closest airport is, and fly all the way over to Italy. And so So I think I think he was in I don't know, I honestly don't know. Um, yeah, plot plot, it's fine. So they they get to Italy, they go to I don't remember what city it is. It's like a really small city. He is actually planning on stepping into the sun during the festival at noon, to get the most people to look at him. And because the Volturi who are like this evil vampire, like Colt from 1000s, upon 1000s of years, basically a live in Italy. They don't like people bringing attention to them, obviously. So they think so he thinks that if he causes enough attention to be drawn to them in their own city, that they'll kill him as a punishment. They they arrive in Italy, there's this really dramatic scene where they are trying desperately to drive into the center of the city as fast as possible, because they know that I was going to step out into the sun at noon. So it's like, you know, the drama of being in the car like swerving around mountainsides and all that trying to get to Edward eventually Bella just leaps out of the car, runs into the city center sees Edward under like this big. I think it's like an arch or something in the movie. It's an arch. I don't remember what it is in the book. And he's about to step into the sun as she leaps into his arms. And he thinks that he's dead, because he's like, Oh, wow, like did it really really fast? This is great. Like, I'm with Bella, obviously a dead because she's dead. And this is great. This is awesome. Hey, what's going on? I missed you so much. And she's like, No, we're not dead. The Volturi are gonna come and kill us though if you don't hurry up. And he's like, my girlie did it Oh shit, other vampires.
Rachel:Okay, I have new goals on how extra I want to be in my entire life. I want to be i was i My lover died. And so I'm going to murder mice or cause someone else to murder me by exposing myself to the world. All in a span of like three hours. Sorry. Well, it takes time to get to Italy.
Margie:So the other vampires I don't remember. They're like part of the evil coal. They're like, Yo, looks like you were about to do something really status. So we should go and talk to our superiors and that he's an Edward like, Yeah, sure. That's fine. Um, Bella, go back out into the city and Bella's like, Nah, I'm not leaving you again. You're stuck with me. And so that she goes into the underground evil vampire city.
Rachel:Oh, my God. Yeah, the Vatican isn't vampires, isn't it?
Margie:It's the it's the vamp. That's exactly what it is. It's the vampire Vatican. The Vampires is In this elite vampire murderous group decide hey Bella is interesting so we can either kill her now make her a vampire now or Edward like later it's chill
Rachel:okay those are the only options your only options are make her a vampire nor doubt
Margie:is like so like later his shell they're like later show that it was like all encourage vampire later it's so they all leave and so and there's this really like weird Limbo reunion state between Edward and Bella where Bella is so happy to see him and Edward is seemingly happy to see her but Bella is like I know he must not really be happy to see me because he broke up with because true love so they fly back to forks and all up. Do you get did you guys think about that? Just making sure um, they fly back to forks the colon family meets them in Forks at the airport. They take her they take Bella back home and Bella like collapses because she has been awake for like almost 72 hours because she is not wanting to be asleep because she was too stressed in the flight over to Italy to sleep. But she didn't want to be away from Edward in the flight back from Italy so she works. So she didn't go to sleep on the way back from Italy because she didn't want to be like asleep in our time with Edward so she wakes up back in her bed in for Ambien and Edward and Edward is
Rachel:there. This is all an Ambien commercial. That's what it is. Exactly It
Margie:is it's fine. It's fine. And Edward explains to Bella look, I was going to kill myself because I thought that you had killed yourself. And Bella says, Look, Edward, you cannot kill yourself because he thought that I killed yourself. You cannot like guilt dictate your life. And Edward is like you thought that it was guilt that caused me to kill myself and she's like I know it is because you told me you didn't love me and Rachel, and Edward is like I do love you. I have always loved you. The only reason I tried to kill myself is because I thought you were dead.
Rachel:Okay, you know? Fuck all the goddamn land race car bullshit. No zero to 60 fastest land speed records this goddamn fucking book. I left you for six months and then I thought you killed yourself. So I'm just gonna go to Italy real quick and step into the sun. It's fine.
Unknown:That's like zero to 90 in six months. So
Rachel:between him finding out
Unknown:that she maybe possibly
Rachel:killed herself to dying true is a plane ride.
Margie:I would actually argue with Rachael in the he could have at least checked the death certificate. He could have called he did he did call and Jacob answered the phone and said Charlie is at the funeral
Unknown:he asked for so for zero to 60 in literature, Romeo and Juliet. She was alive and he woke up and was like, Oh my God, she's not breathing for point two seconds. Let me kill myself there. I mean, that whole story is jacked up, but at least there was a bit of tangible evidence. They're not just some random person answering the phone because he said a funeral.
Rachel:He knows that Jacob is a werewolf but he doesn't trust wearables implicitly. Why would he just
Unknown:an author knows that Jacob is Bella's friend and he wouldn't be at said funeral wise. Mind and Alex is spider monkey.
Rachel:Going to spiral. Okay, okay. Okay.
Margie:Okay, but I can answer all these quite up most of the questions. Jake is at her house because he was worried about Bella after her almost drowning and also she's hanging out with the vampire. He's really close friends with the swan family. And when I say that, I mean, Charlie. So he felt like he could answer the phone. Like you're comfortable answering the phone. And you know, he was honest about his answer. He said he's at the funeral. Where's Charlie? He's at the funeral. It's not dishonest.
Rachel:Yes, but but but let's say someone who has you have not seen in six months calls and asks for someone and they happen to be at a funeral. You don't say they're at the funeral because this person that hasn't been around for six months has no goddamn ID which funeral allowance but
Margie:I will say this also Edward does not your follow up, Edward as Hi, can I speak to Charlie, can I speak to Charlie? Or can I speak to Charlie Swan? And Jacob says he's not here. And Edward asks, Where is he and Jacob says at the funeral?
Unknown:Okay, so I agree that he should not have said at the funerals at his friend's funeral. That's what a normal human would say. It said, even if he had said he's at a funeral, given the state of mind that Edward is in and knowing what Alice had seen, he would have assumed it was Bella so I think it would be the same situation. My question is he can read Alice's mind Alice's with Bella. Well, whoa, hold
Margie:on, though. He can't he can't read Alice's mind from that far away. Okay. He can I read mine from that far away. Also, I want to speak to smiler and say, I think it was clever writing on her part. You know, it was just her trying to be collected
Rachel:already in Italy at this point? No,
Margie:he's not nearly I think he's in South Africa. What? No, he's not in South Africa. He's in Africa. He's so
Rachel:Africa seems like a terrible place for a vampire to be.
Margie:Alright, so Okay. Edward, and Bella wakes up and tells Edward Hey, you can't kill yourself just because you feel guilty about the fact that I asked myself and he's like, No, I still love you. And she's like, for real? And he's like for rail. Okay, cool. And then Bella is like, Okay, but what were you doing for the past? Like, however many months cuz I think it's been, it's been a real long time. And Edwards like, Oh, I was trying to track this other vampire. And she Bella's, like, who? And he's like, Victoria. And she's like, thing they
Unknown:thing? I know where that bitches. She's here.
Rachel:I give up. I give up. Just finish it. I don't just end it. Out of my
Unknown:really bad tracker. Yeah.
Margie:He mentioned that Edwards like, I am really bad at tracking. So I thought
Rachel:she was in Africa. She was in Washington.
Margie:She was in like South America for Africa. It's not but the reason why I thought Africa is because Rosalie and Emmett went to South Africa for their like six honeymoon. So that's where this work, and I apologize, so that's pretty much it. Like there's two more books. No, there's
Unknown:no, there's only one of the original trilogy.
Margie:Edward and Bella
Unknown:trilogy. No, it wasn't a trilogy.
Margie:It was a quartet anyway. Yeah. Edward and Bella are like, we're gonna be together forever. It's chill. It's fine. And the Jacob's like, but we can't be friends anymore. Like cuz you're hanging with a vampire. So oh, what? Yeah. Yeah, so that's how that book and yeah, you guys understand
Unknown:why I was so enthralled in love this series so much.
Margie:No, no, I told this. I told this story really poorly. And I know
Rachel:you did. What you were given.
Margie:Yeah. So. Okay, so I'm gonna rate Bella at.
Rachel:Yeah, let's roll through the ratings real quick. No, I think that most of our discussions
Margie:Edward doesn't exist. So he's a one. Jacob is a two because
Rachel:he's there. Actually in this book. He
Margie:said three Jacob higher Yeah, he's higher. I will give him a three because he's like actually a good friend Bella, especially in the beginning of the book, the overall book Ginza to
Rachel:Tiffany Do you contest
Margie:facts?
Unknown:I mean, no, I can't because it is a ship book. But I love it dearly. So if I had to give a personal rating this one the overall is out of five right? Yes. I would give this one personally a three because Edwards missing for most of it and I am Edward. But no, I agree with her to two because this well,
Rachel:so I'm sorry. So So rating wise we do two main characters sex and plot. One out of five and then overall is one at a 10
Unknown:Okay overall I would give this book four because Edwards missing the whole Are you literally held up four fingers at the same time Tiffany said four That was perfect. This book is
Margie:bad, really bad okay.
Rachel:And you know for someone who
Margie:read this book I'm just I read this book I will say this and I'm really i i When I read this book I felt for Jacobs character. And they don't just mean fell. I mean, I was like, I really liked him. I was I like, I would have liked to have him as my own friend or even boyfriend so I get the whole like people you know shipping themselves we
Rachel:have a Team Jacob and his team word.
Margie:I don't know if I'm Team Jacob or T BAP word I don't know All right, I could be I know I'm really just team like I'd rather be human.
Rachel:Team resume all of us here are team resume.
Margie:No. Rotation either. So I like I felt for Jacob but I think he gets worse in following books because he feels like he has sores some sort of claim of her Bella. Yeah, I do feel also like Bella isn't that interesting of a character although I feel for her.
Unknown:I agree with that Bella is written in such a way that no matter who you are, you can put yourself in her shoes because she is such a bland character and because I read her at such a crucial point in my life. I want her to end up on top but God she's not a good you know,
Margie:I sympathize with her. Yeah, it's really it you really sympathize with her.
Unknown:I really want a vampire boyfriend.
Margie:I think we all at that age especially want someone to be obsessed with us. You know we want someone to feel we want to feel special we want to feel yes or at least I need to feel special.
Rachel:So we'll go into this probably a little bit more and under the covers based on what we're going to talk about and under the covers but I was not in that headspace. I did not want that. I was the outlier I feel
Unknown:I want even to this day. I want somebody that is constantly thinking of me 24/7 And like their world revolves around how much they love me and my husband does not necessarily comply with that as much as it pisses me off
Rachel:that would get on my nerves so
Unknown:much same
Rachel:I need an independent human
Margie:I don't know what I want.
Unknown:MARGIE I will be whatever you need me to be what she's saying is she'll change for you. I will I am that person. I will do the thing I shouldn't do.
Rachel:Hey, let's wrap this shit up. Do you guys want to plug your plug will plug cables again overall okay, well what we said what three out of 10 four, I think is what they blacked out during that part. I'm still trying to figure out what the plot of this book was there was there okay, the plot and we all failed. Hey, y'all like your blog?
Unknown:Yes. So once again we are the ladies of strange and thank God for Rebecca because a lot of our tangents get cut out too. But you can find us everywhere at the ladies of strange we talk about basically everything there's really not much that's off book for us and going into the new year I think that will show even more so show come check us out hang out to have a good time. You can find us everywhere at the ladies of strange and we adore these ladies so hopefully if you don't want to like do the effort of finding us over there you should come find them over on our show because they've joined us a time before and
Rachel:I was gonna ask can we come back because I would love to with you again we I want to talk science with Rebecca again because saying yeah,
Unknown:oh okay, well y'all do that and the three of us will drink and acquire that sounds like a great
Rachel:Hey, we love you. Thank you alien air you for the use of your song. Oh Love the album be held it is a great tune okay so you'll probably know as a goodbye we all say goodbye in a singsong way okay everyone ready