Textual Tension
The comedy podcast that unpacks the bananas world of romance novels! Tune in every other Tuesday as one co-host, either Margie or Rachel, recount a romance novel to the other unsuspecting co-host.
Whether you love romance, love comedy, or love both, join us on our truly bananas comedy adventure!
Textual Tension
Ep 3: Dingus and Demons
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This week listen in as Margie describes The Dark Highlander by Karen M. Moning to Rachel. Join us on a time-travelling adventure back to sixteenth century Scotland where Dageus has 13 problems and demons are literally all thirteen of them. Thank you for listening, please rate, review, and subscribe!
Warning. The following podcast contains adult themes, including but not limited to, adult language, adult dragon Animorphs problematic encounters with potential love interests, steampunk vampires, potentially unhealthy relationships, Goblin kings and hosts that read way too far into silly romance novels. The opinions expressed in this podcast are entirely those of the hosts listener discretion is advised. Oh, tearing me apart
Margie:Welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels. I'm your co host, Margie,
Rachel:and I am your co host Rachel.
Margie:Every other week one of us summarizes a romance novel for our unsuspecting co host and we review and unpack what the fuck just so this week, I Margie I'm going to be the one who has has read and summarized a Raymond Scoble for deer Rachel so
Rachel:excited. I get so excited for these because they're just, they're either great or they're so
Margie:I'm just glad that like after I read it, there's someone who is gonna judge me. Nope. It is good judgment. What the
Rachel:heck? This is a safe space.
Margie:Space. Okay. Okay, so you ready? You ready for a dat title though? Baby. I
Rachel:was born ready.
Margie:So the book that I picked was the dark Highlander by Karen
Rachel:No, but I may have seen it. I will like like, considered it.
Margie:It's it's a pretty famous one. She's a Karen M. I've heard it pronounced Monning or moaning? Okay. Um, I mean, there's no a so they got his MO man ing. I know. All right. But um, it was actually it was better than the last thing I'd read. But let's let's negative 100. Like a high bar. Exactly. So I feel like when I describe this novel, I feel like I let the main character get away with a lot of things. But she was so desperate for a higher bar.
Rachel:I'll admit. So I kind of ran into the same thing, right? Yeah.
Margie:So the reason why I picked this up is because my friend from choir Megan, she recommended it to me, but we are actually two or three steps away from money connected. Oh, MEGAN'S MOM knows, Karen morning. And that's how Megan recommended it to me.
Rachel:So do I need to feel bad about bashing it? If it is bad or No, I just okay. Um, no, because I'm, I'm I will not hold back. No,
Margie:I'm not going to either. I'm absolutely not going to. So it's the overall Goodreads rating is 4.31. Okay, so that's pretty good. So guys, I'm going to hand Rachel my computer that has the dark side. And then she can go over she's the right description for you.
Rachel:And I'm looking at it now. Is that a guy's back or girls back? I think,
Margie:guy it's a guy. It's very popular. Okay,
Rachel:so listeners looks like again, and I'm going to start keeping track of how many how many books this is the case with the lady. The author's name is bigger than the title. Again, I think we're three for three right now. Which is awesome. Um, okay, so it is just a really dark background. There's the dark there's a dude's back, only his back and arm one arm. You can kind of see a tartan going across. And he has like an a Celtic look and arm cuff that may or may not be photoshopped on. I can't tell
Margie:like the photoshopped hand.
Rachel:Like it's I am not 100% sure whether or not that sucker was originally in that stock photo that they made. I don't
Margie:probably not. Oh, it was made like it I think that's the original cover like 2003 So Photoshop was not in its prime. You can
Rachel:kind of see where they like shaved away some of his bicep to make it look like the arm cuff is like tight against his arm.
Margie:Notice that when I looked at it, I'm gonna get to the description.
Rachel:Okay, great. Okay, here we go. Let's go on this adventure together listeners. Journey to a world of ancient magic breathtaking sensuality thrilling time travel journey to the world of the dark Highlander. criss crossing the continents and the centuries here's a novel as gripping as it is sensual, an electrifying adventure that will leave you breathless I am Jackie
Margie:I've been going with Degas Degas Vegas but I really don't know
Rachel:Okay, well, um, it could be I am dingus kilter.
Margie:Okay, it's real day let's take a good day girl.
Rachel:I will No I will only refer to him as dangus from a man with one good conscious and 13 Bad ones driven to see to sate my darkest desires. From his penthouse layer above Manhattan, Gary Degas looks out over a glittering city that calls to the darkness within the 16th century Scott tracks. He's fighting a losing battle with the 13 druids who possess his soul, do you mean him to an eternity of sexual pursuit? When Chloe Zander's student of antiquities is drawn to his world she finds the insatiable alpha male, an irresistible lure. Before long she's caught up in an ancient prophecy that will sweep her back into time to medieval Scotland. plunging into a world of timeless magic and dark seduction. She will soon face the challenge of a lifetime fighting 13 evil spirits for the heart of one irresistible man. Um, are you sure you didn't just have me read the entire fucking novel? Because Holy shit.
Margie:Sorry. I'm sorry.
Rachel:I'm not even back in the book. Like it
Margie:was on Goodreads. I don't know. But Jesus. Yeah, it was long. I'm sorry.
Rachel:Um, I already feel like I've gone on a roller. So brief recap. We have druid Scotsman from the 16th century time travel and apparently also he has a flattened Manhattan. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not?
Margie:You know, fight fight.
Rachel:Like, hey, we we have already tackled the time travel problem. So why stop there?
Margie:Okay, so um, I'm gonna set a little background into this book, because I read kiss of the Highlander before I read. This
Rachel:was the second one.
Margie:This is the actually this is the I think it's the fifth one out of a series of seven is the dark Highlander and the halo four.
Rachel:Okay, do you have you read one through three? No. Okay.
Margie:I only read four or five and I think six. Great. So I guys I 213 hour flight. So I had a lot of time on my I read like three of these. Um, but so the kids have the Highlander and the dark Highlander is about the McKellar family in Scotland, six. They're from the 16th century. And it's about two twin brothers drusen who's in kissel, Ohio. I wonder I know that they have
Rachel:Scottish, like, right, not even like not even
Margie:the twins are drusen and Degas, and
Rachel:Angus.
Margie:And they are not only like sexy Scottish man, there's like Scottish druid man, which basically gives them magical powers. Like they have a little bit of mind manipulation, like appealing powers. Like
Rachel:I know you said mind. I heard mine my mind a little bit of silent French Frenchmen,
Margie:right, so no, not that but they so they have like a little bit of druid powers. But one of the things that our family was given is basically imagine Stonehenge, but imagine Stonehenge where you if you go stand in the middle of it, and like put some symbols on the rocks, you could type travel. So okay, those were given to that there.
Rachel:It's called Is it a wand? is one of the things they use? No, it's just the stone circle. So I can't wait because I read another book that is not in any way related to this where that sort of happens also, so I'm a little
Margie:worried. So in and they were this stone circle was given to the Macau altars by rifle. Oh, no, the face book, which is they call it in this book that I'm going to butcher the name the Tuatha dead on, but I don't know what to do down in diamond. Okay, that's okay. I didn't know that one. Well, that makes me feel better because I was just gonna call them the faithful good. The fairy folk. Like you can just hold whichever one. I
Rachel:mean, I'm mine that is Midwest, Ohio accent so maybe it's what she knows.
Margie:So um, so they're like very royalty, and they gave it to them and shelters, but they had one condition. They were like, you can't go back in time to save someone's life. We can't do that. You can't change time to save someone's life. Well, Degas is like fuck that. My brother Drew's did does died. I'm going back in time. And because he went back in time and save Jason's life and because of that, these evil these demons basically were unleashed. And they decided to make a nest. Degas a soul. So these
Rachel:Yeah, dingus is finished right now. Yes, Angus.
Margie:Well, his brothers like that to fuck Wow, could you do that? So when we so now we're going into the dark Highlander. And now I'm going to give you guys some trigger warnings. Oh, right. Yeah. So um, This the dark Highlander contains lots of Stockholm Syndrome again, unfortunately, it also contains a light dusting of sexual assault. But like, I don't want you guys to think that it's like, oh, he raped certain Well, no, I don't want to say that. I'm saying that like if you Yeah, it just flows it just gets close. It's problematic. Exactly. So it's, it's, you know, it's hard because
Rachel:sprinkles on top of this cupcake. Yes. So
Margie:if there's anything else, not that I can think of off the top of my head.
Rachel:So I think we're good and if for some reason something pops up in the middle of this we will go ahead and throw in a little bit of a hey, just a warning. This is about to happen RAM. We care about you guys, just in case anything you know, is not great, but really
Margie:go and we got so we first see the first character we're introduced to is Degas. I'm gonna I'm butchering that name, probably Angus Dyngus, whatever. So and he is doing what he does best, which is routing routing. I'm so proud of it. Before we jump into the plot, I wouldn't known that the author was very obviously binging on Buffy the Vampire Slayer while she was writing this book. Fantastic. So the first seed he he could dig is compares himself to Angel that's played like from Buffy the Vampire Slayer that's play up on his TV. And remember the last name I just thought of this. The last name of the other main character is Chloe Zander's as the character Xander from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yeah, no. So I caught I've never even watched it. Maybe I caught too good. Good.
Rachel:Good. Good crossover.
Margie:So he's been broody. He's been he's brooding and living in Manhattan and he's he's trying to find a way to get rid of the 13 demons inside of him.
Rachel:Okay, I mean as you do as you do so
Margie:the way that he does that is actually does a lot of research. He's been quote unquote, borrowing books from the bet and from local museums using his dark magic powers to get books because they're like as you do priceless Tomes. Pretty much he's doing this I wouldn't know it because he doesn't want to go back in time to see his dad because he's too ashamed. These books
Rachel:says Daddy problems.
Margie:Like I hate myself problems. And everybody else solution to
Rachel:my needs a hug.
Margie:A hug he probably like make it more than a hug. Oh, no. Yeah, no. So do you want to guess what keepsake is? For completely going dark? And that's like releasing all the 13 demons and becoming fully evil.
Rachel:Is it love?
Margie:No, it's fucking
Rachel:nice.
Margie:So it's a yes or no? Yes or no. He's basically like constantly either fucking drinking or or eating because the demons live on indulgence. That's the way that I think of it. So the only way to keep them quiet within him
Rachel:is interesting, actually. Yeah, like, like, it's still a little bit of the like, this gives me an excuse to just indiscriminately do people but like,
Margie:well, it's it's a little more interesting. And I will say this, like he he's not into like anybody who doesn't want to find like if he has a night or a day where he doesn't get any sex, which happens. I mean, it happens. He kind of is miserable, but he's like, I'm not gonna be a monster. Right? You know, and that's kind of an entire
Rachel:Extra Large pizza by myself.
Margie:Do a bunch of push ups. Okay. Actually, though he should the demons were like, Oh, what's this? I don't know if that would make it worse or fictional scenario. I guess it is indulgence. So maybe,
Rachel:you know, I can't say I'm very experienced on this particular side.
Margie:I only got up to 16 Tell you a cookie does nothing all right. She gets a weed.
Rachel:Yeah, chill the fuck out homeboy.
Margie:Maybe be too busy Batman brooding.
Rachel:Yeah, yeah, there's a lot a bit of a Batman vibe to it.
Margie:Okay, so in the next scene, we're introduced to Chloe Zander's, and she's an antiquarian, who works in the Met cloisters. So basically where they keep all the old shit. And she finds out that someone has made a huge donation to the Met because they want a book in return. So they basically want to take a book to the library that is the Met if you have a ton of money. Okay, yeah, so she's actually really pissed about that she's like they're gonna ruin it they're gonna get like coffee stains all over it and her got her boss is like, that's fine just yelling money. But money. Exactly. Yeah, actually. The is Degas who's getting the book out that's what he donates like a ski on do, which is like, I'm not pronouncing that right, but it's like a blade. And it's like, priceless.
Rachel:Oh, I've heard it pronounced. Like Shawn do Sean
Margie:maybe I don't I'm a monster. I'm not
Rachel:garbage people.
Margie:Absurd. So apparently though there's been some sort of miscommunication because when Chloe arrives at degas's building, Degas is in a cab heading to the Met because he thinks he's going to pick up the book. And she's they're dropping off. So she goes up to his penthouse, and well, so he sees her on the street, and he's like, damn, holy shit, she's hot. And this is the quote, his attention was caught by a lass who was stepping from a car at the curb in front of them. She was different and it was the difference that drew his eye. She had none of the city's polish it was all the lovely are for it, refreshingly tousled to lightly free of the artifice with which modern women enhance their faces. She was me my sexy, bright green sweatshirt. Day. But yeah, you were just looking at the floor just spotted. God. Yeah,
Rachel:that I was my that was my guttural reaction to the use of the word last. In a this is third person, right?
Margie:Yes. Okay. Yeah. Well, you can hear it's third person omniscient. So like, they can write their thoughts. So, and he calls her laugh. Okay, so I'm saying we actually called her sweet all the time, which I'm kind of like so, so Degas leaves in the cabin, she goes up to the penthouse, because she thinks that he's up there. And she walked. So she actually like tries the door, the door is unlocked. So she's like, not just gonna leave it here because he's gone. And this is a priceless thing to her. So she walks in, and she's like, Oh, my God, because there's so many antiques in there. And she's like, crazy about antiques, and it's Scottish antiques. Just like wandering around his apartment, like, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that bed, because she ends up of course, in his bedroom,
Rachel:you know, it gets my juices flowing, a little bit of light being a light breaking.
Margie:Well, so like, she's in his bedroom, and she notices that like, there's silk ties on the bed posts, and she's like, Oh, shit, okay. And so she's like, looking in his room, though, because now she's kind of curious about it. She's like, how has all these Scottish TEKS but once this, you know, compared to all the stuff that it's in his apartment, the thing that she has is worthless. So she's looking around, and she looks under the bed and she's like, Hmm, well, she sees something under the bench. She's like, Oh, that's weird. And she looks under there. And there are a bunch of books that he's hidden under his bed because they're the stolen books. And she's like, damn it. She's also the
Rachel:place all these books from appraisal appraisals, books from
Margie:like, you have a whole house. You're gonna leave these books under your bed that you wouldn't know what to talk about. And also there's condom wrappers under the bed. There's also women's underwear under the bed. So like you're not concerned that anyone's gonna see it. You're bringing a woman up there all the time.
Rachel:I mean, also, maybe hiding a bunch of priceless books around a bunch of like trash and panties isn't the best
Margie:well that's what Chloe thinks she's like, you can't have all these under here so she's like under the bed like fully under the bed trying to pull them out. When suddenly she I've not yet tried it beneath the bed last but if this is your preference, and the rest of you is as lovely as what I'm seeing, I might be persuaded to oblige.
Rachel:Yeah, I love it. Because it's so ridiculous in my mind.
Margie:Okay, so Degas
Rachel:is a hell amount of sass and I love
Margie:it. Key. Okay. I will say this about him. I didn't give you any day. I am a monster for a tortured hero like Harry Dresden kind of shit. Oh my god, monster. Oh, Harry Dresden Winter Soldier monster, like love them. So Degas pulls Chloe by the leg out from under the bed. And she at first pretends that she's the cleaning crew. And then he's like, literally, I just saw your boss. I know who the fuck you are. Smooth, really? And she's like shit, so now but he's also kind of like shit because he's like, I can't let her go. Because she knows about these books. Now. She knows that I stole them. So So Oh, no, he's he's huge. And she's tiny. So he literally backs her up onto the bed so that she falls back onto the bed and she's like bubbly like I will tell you what I do you know, what do you do with that scenario to make someone feel calmer?
Rachel:I'm going to take one solid whack at this and say he uses the silk ties on the bed to tired of the bed.
Margie:Well, first he kisses her to distract her. And she digs it. Better ways. Better ways, probably
Rachel:very effective. If she's
Margie:attracted to you then yeah, it's very effective.
Rachel:I would have punched him in the throat. Well, she,
Margie:she doesn't. She he, but then he's distracting her with his lips and his body, which is bodies on top of hers. And he ties it to the bed. There.
Rachel:She wasn't that far off. No, you weren't anything I am too
Margie:for too. So basically, he keeps her tied to the bed for probably a few days. No, not like a few days, but like, on and off like, kill. He's like, do you want to eat something? Do you do bathrooms, that kind of stuff? Um, yeah. For like a couple days.
Rachel:Notice she's missing?
Margie:No. And they go over that the book? No, because they're like, oh, let's do York City. No one will notice that one girl is missing.
Rachel:She has a job.
Margie:And family. She does not have family. Oh, of course. She's a tragic Baxter. Of course. They
Rachel:never have rightly. Her parents died in
Margie:a car wreck and her granddad died when she was a sophomore in college. I think so she has no family. tragic backstory. All right.
Rachel:Okay, so wait. Friends and listeners. If someone catches you doing some shady shit, don't tie them to the bed and leave them there for several days, please. It's common courtesy. All right.
Margie:Well, so he does. So eventually, she agrees to help him find in the books, whatever he's looking for, because she speaks several languages as well. So she can decipher them. Okay. And he can't. He can't, but it's better done to them one. Oh, okay. It's good. And he's like, at one point, like, I think at the end of the second day, it's like, I can't just keep keep her tied up. Like this is inhumane, like, Yeah. Say Yeah, so like, but it's also like a cake thing, because he really, really, really, really, really, really digs her. Uh huh. So yeah, oh, you know how his demons so she. So she's like, so she agrees to help him basically, so that she can get out of there faster. And, but at one point, he like tries to seduce her and she's very, like, taken aback because she's really into it. But she's also like this. I know, this guy is like a womanizer, and is gonna like
Rachel:his fuck, and also tie me to the fucking bed for two days. Right? Okay, but
Margie:it's like in her mind. That's what she's thinking. So she doesn't want to get involved with him. So she goes into the study, and she sees a sword on the wall. And she's like, I get stabbed this motherfucker. Exactly. Well, actually, she takes a sword off of the wall, and she comes out with it. And she's like, let me go. And he's like, Oh, no, any backs are up against the wall. And he says, you can cut your way through me. Or you can stay here of your own will own will, quote unquote,
Rachel:someone needs to give this dude in all of those books that he's stolen. He has not stolen a fucking dictionary to let him know what Free will means. That ain't it?
Margie:That's not the exact line but like that's the connotation right so but he also tells her well, what he really tells us if you stay I'll give you that sword and it's priceless. So she's gonna make a profit if she turned a profit if days. That's fair. So but thing is this conflict over though that day or two days Degas is constantly trying to tempt Chloe to have sex with him and she refuses him as she's terrified of him and he wants to get in her pants literally to silence the demons i can't i can't believe i can say that silence the Divas or and also because he's crazy about her the more than more than he's been with anybody else so But Doug and I cutaway scene, we get two men talking who have a plan they're going to kill Chloe to get in an enclosed apartment in stages so that so that looks like Degas killed her so that they can pin the crime on Degas and then force him to use his powers to release the demons inside him. So basically, these two men what the demons inside him to be unleashed, okay. Yeah,
Rachel:this is a little bit of like a, like Pink Panther vibe of like I said, Imagine them in a dark room twirling their
Margie:trench coats. trench coats. Absolutely. Yep. So the either that evening or the next evening, Degas admits to Chloe that his plan is to break a powerful Dark Curse. He finally tells her that and that he's a time traveling druid.
Rachel:Okay, how does that go?
Margie:It does not go over well, okay. Like I do not believe you. And he tells Chloe though, that he's returning to Scotland in order to break the curse. And she and she's like, really sad because she's like, Oh, this adventure is kind of ending like I was actually this was really cool. I've been having a good time with this dude, and he's really hot. And then he gets lit. She's sitting on the couch and he gets down on his knees in front of her and it begs her to come with him. He's like, please don't leave. Come with me. Okay, and he says, I will give you anything in this apartment that you want any of the priceless artifacts on this apartment that you want. If you He will come with me. Oh, okay. And he's like, we'll put it in a safe deposit box under your name, so that when you get back, it'll be ready for you. Okay, so he's like, you really trying to get her to go? And she so she wants the artifacts, obviously. But she's also always dreamed of going to Scotland like it's a big thing. So
Rachel:I do have one question. Yes. Is he immortal?
Margie:Or did he travel to travel to he time traveled to Manhattan? So
Rachel:I have questions. I'm sure you do. How long? Has he been in Manhattan? How did he get a fortune? How the fuck does he know what a goddamn car is?
Margie:I think he's with a better hat, bro. While I don't know how long at the end of the kiss of the Highlander, there's like a, there's a little bit of explanation into that. But it's not much he got the money from all the antiques that he had, because he brought them with him or he like hid them in a cave so that once he time traveled to me that he would know where they weren't, like uncovered because
Rachel:he has a perfect understanding of how the how capitalism works in terms of the United States. And
Margie:apparently, I don't know why. And also remember he has so he shares the knowledge of those 13 demons that are living inside him.
Rachel:Okay, so if they're from the 60s, I don't you Okay, all right, I'm sorry.
Margie:Questions that I can't answer, I
Rachel:will, can let me go back to the potatoes on Mars. I'm just going to grasp onto my suspension of disbelief and get not like out.
Margie:So she in that arrangement, she makes it very clear to him like sex is not part of this arrangement. If I go and he's like, I don't want sex to be part of the arrangement. I want to seduce you.
Rachel:I didn't say yes, sex. You said. Exactly. You're crying, you're crying
Margie:so she agrees, though, she says, Okay, I'll go to Scotland with you to help you find whatever it is you're looking for it but that's the only reason I'm going and he's like, fine, they shake hands and he turns her head over and kisses it. Your eye roll? I
Rachel:think I just rolled my eyes so hard that they went up a little bit into my head by
Margie:phrase my favorite phrases. I just rolled my eyes into the sunset. That's good. So so the she goes to bed untied that night, which was great, great, but he does sleep outside the door. Okay, so he but he leaves that morning to go run some errands. Like he needs to go get her passport, etc, etc. And um, while he's gone, the sky shows up. He even get
Rachel:fake, like documentation and
Margie:no it's not Well, that's true is fake documentation. Paid it's your total money for it. You can pay it's just for the money and good documentation.
Rachel:legal representative.
Margie:I don't know. I'm so sorry. Oh, you know what, I do know part of that because they do have and technically they're the ancestors of people who still live in Scotland and have been told so do you show this stuff? Oh, yeah. Okay, they show up on these people's property. Okay, and in the last book so the last book Justin took a 500 year power nap to get back to his true love Yeah, Sleeping Beauty ask okay. Yeah. And when he wakes up power nap. So when he wakes up he ends up in his Technically he's their ancestors house. Okay, so that's where he wakes up. So like the ant but the the people who live in that house have been told the stories for generations. Okay, really
Rachel:awkward for the people that live there for 500 years. real quiet around the house, make sure they didn't wake up
Margie:to the chance to sleep. Okay.
Rachel:banging around pots and pans in the kitchen is
Margie:really bad to hide this body for 500 years. It's actually
Rachel:like a sleeping beauty glass coffin how to deal with just like a tablecloth overtop of the kitchen table.
Margie:Rocky Horror with Edie Wilson like that, but they still they do have people who have lived in the modern era. Okay. All right, that that makes a little more sense. Better ish, but not that great. So anyway, so there's this guy who shows up at degas's apartment while Chloe is there alone. And Chloe tells him Degas isn't gonna be back for another hour because that's who the guy Giles Jones, another Buffy reference.
Rachel:Awesome.
Margie:He Giles Jones says, I'm looking for Degas and she says, he's gonna be back for an hour. And then he goes into full murder mode. So he pulls out a knife starts trying to like attacking her and I have to give her credit. She fights back really hard. She whacks the guy with a full bottle of wine, kicks him in the balls. She does a good job. So by the time it gives Degas enough time to like, make a heroic return naturally, yeah. And he gets done his way into the room and savor sort of actually well, so the Giles Jones sees Degas and it's like, oh my god, like he actually got gets this worshipful look on his waist, which is very strange gravy and Degas gets pissed immediately, obviously, and but the guy says, may I serve the dragger? Which I'm also draw your dragon or something like that with my death as I failed with my life, and then he jumps headfirst out of the apartment onto the pavement below. Hey, find out. Exactly. So Degas cleans and heals little cuts that Chloe has managed to get. He's actually kind of like it's described weirdly because he kind of pulls off her clothes very like, like, you know, off because he wants to make sure that she's not hurt. Hmm. Cuz he sees all that red wine all over. Right?
Rachel:You know, right. Right on close looks exactly like
Margie:blood. Exactly. So I before I go into the next part, have you seen that video yet online? Have the girl the guy in the airplane bathroom know this. So basically, it's insinuated that they were fucking in the airplane bathroom. And this other guy's kind of holding up the phone and go and logo, like way to go dude.
Rachel:Mile High Club. Exactly. Well,
Margie:I want to know that Degas gets Chloe off twice on the airplane without taking off one article of clothing and they are not in the airplane bathroom. Just have a blanket between them. He puts a blanket over her. But that's it. And then he's just using his hands. Okay. Yep. Yep. So that was their first sexual encounter that,
Rachel:um, there's a lot of reasons why that's not okay.
Margie:Well, he also says he's like, he was he after he does that. He's like, he was like, super close to just like making everybody on the plane, take a little nap. So that they could just like,
Rachel:Do it, do it. Um, that's first of all, every of my nightmares when traveling is having to elbow someone because they tried to do something terrible. Also, that makes it really hard to say no. Yeah, that's
Margie:not okay. Yeah, that's very true.
Rachel:I'm assuming she's into it. Oh, very into it. Okay. And
Margie:she asked for permission first. He's like, Can we do this? And she gets really into it. She's kinky, too. Okay, she's kinky too. So, um, it's, well, it's not great, but it's fine. Because at one point, he's like, if you don't stop me, now we're not stopping. And then later on, she gets a little nervous. And he's like, No, we're not stopping. So yeah, problematic. problematic. Yeah. Oh, man. But they make it they make it to lug bin. Oh, good. They make it there. They make it there. They had to degas's Brother drew stuns house. So we've already talked about, and David's is terrified to see his brother dressed and couldn't be happier to see him. So that's, you know, because like you Degas always thought that everybody would hate him because he took on these 13 demons but Jason's like, you saved my life to do it. Why would I be angry? Right? Yeah. And Chloe meets or Chloe meets Jason's wife, Gwen, who was pregnant with drusen twins, so she's like, hella big. Oh, okay. Yeah, she's hella big right now. And they Chloe and all these characters when kind of have like a heart to heart. And wet is like, you're definitely fucking Degas, aren't you? And she's like, No. Well, maybe. I don't know. Okay, okay. So tip clothes. Don't
Rachel:finger foot straight on a plain.
Margie:Stranger well, but don't do it. Don't do it. It's not good. Anything sexual autoplay, those things are disgusting. or disgust.
Rachel:It's just uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Margie:Yes, so and also poor Chloe. She's got to be exhausted. Like she was. She will she was attacked yesterday. Like that'll the adrenaline it'll take it out of you. Then she's finger fucked on the plane. And then she has to deal with jetlag.
Rachel:Yeah, that's yeah. No, not a good time. No good.
Margie:No bueno. So um, so after Chloe goes to bed, Gwen drusen. And Degas have a heart to heart and they basically all decide, okay, yeah, you have to go back in time and you have to go see Jason and Degas his dad Sylvan to get those, see those texts and see if they'll tell you anything about getting rid of these demons.
Rachel:Because of course, his name is Sylvan. Yeah. Okay.
Margie:Yeah. What's Sylvan?
Rachel:Sylvan is like fe. Oh, my God. Like Fe O or if you want to be more a little more modern with it. Sylvan Learning Center.
Margie:I have to go to that. He did it. Why did I sucked at math? He did Sylvan Learning Center. I thought it was the worst. So the next day
Rachel:podcast is not supportive.
Margie:Oh actually sponsor as I love
Rachel:to sell out.
Margie:So um, so the next day, they they kind of all go on a morning adventure together, okay, and then kind of go around Scotland. But then in the afternoon, they go head back to the house and Degas starts doing that. Something stones that are there. So he's getting ready to like send Degas and himself and Chloe back in time. And Chloe and Gwen kind of have a heart to heart and what is not a good friend out there right now? Because it is like pushing Chloe into Degas his arms like just like doing go. She's with him. He's
Rachel:the bad advice, Bear. She's
Margie:a horrible. She's like a molecular physicist too. And she's just like, she was better in her first book, but she's so annoying. And this one because she's like, she's very much kind of like, oh, everything's wonderful. And I have my true love and now pregnant with his babies.
Rachel:My only goal in life was I'm a woman.
Margie:Right, exactly. And so that's what she think. It's just annoying. So she's pushing Chloe at Degas and she tells her you need to take a leap of faith with Degas and just whatever he tells you to do, go with it. Go with it. Okay, great. Thank you best friend. Thank you so much.
Rachel:Um, no question. Everything always.
Margie:Literally literally. So, um, Chloe goes to join Degas in the circle. And she's like, What are you doing? Because he's painting the stones. And he tells degas's tells Chloe, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, and I want you to come with me. And she's like, where are you going? There's no car, okay? And she's, and he's like, I'm going and I want you to come with me. And I'm asking you to take another leap of faith with me. I know. That's hard. And she's like, he's
Rachel:racking up debts.
Margie:Yeah, okay. She's going okay. And he's like, he says he'll come without knowing where I'll where I'm taking you and closes if you think I've come this far to be dumped along the wayside. You don't know me very well with kelser. I'm the woman who snooped beneath your bed. Remember? I'm slave to my curiosity. If you're going somewhere I am to you're not getting away from me yet.
Rachel:Alright, she's known him for what three days? Yeah, somewhere around somewhere around
Margie:there. So this is Guess what time it is time travel, Rachel science core.
Rachel:So I will say we had a minor discussion about this before, in the form of I am an engineer. I like science a lot. So Margie told me time travel and that's about it and asked if I would be able to maybe talk about it a little bit. So go ahead and describe it and I'll see what I can do.
Margie:Okay, so it to see if this is like accurate at all, you know, I mean? Well,
Rachel:there's a lot to unpack. Well, there's a lot of science. Okay.
Margie:Ready. So this is the text of them of Degas and Chloe traveling back in time, a terrible gravity seem to be pulling at her sucking her in and stretching her out bending her and impossible ways. She thought she heard a sonic boom. And then suddenly there was a flash of white white so blinding that she lost all sense of sight and sound. She could no longer feel degas's His hand, she could no longer feel her own hand, she tried to open her mouth and scream, but she had no mouth to open. The white grew ever more intense and there and though there was no no longer any sense of motion she felt felt nauseating vertigo. There was no sound, but the silence itself seemed to have crushing substance. Just when she was certain she couldn't endure one more instant the White was gone so abruptly that the blackness slit slammed into her with all the force of a Mack truck. Okay. So
Rachel:it's time for special relativity for dummies. So, um, as far as descriptions of how actually going in back in time would feel? I don't know, either. Although it was kind of funny. It's sonic boom. And then silence. Yeah. So like, you wouldn't hear anything evil, even if we somehow assume that it is in any way possible. Because you're moving at the speed of light, like light moves faster than sound, you would hear nothing. In space, no one can hear you scream. The biggest problem with time travel is that you're not just traveling in time, the Earth and Sun are constantly moving. Even if somehow you were able to travel back in time, you would end up a space out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Okay, you would be like millions of miles away from the Earth if you went back in
Margie:time, because the Earth and the sun are not in the same position. No, they're flying through space when you were when you left.
Rachel:Yeah, well, not even just like the Earth, rotating the sun, but like we are all flying through space super fast. Okay, so like, there's no way you would be anywhere close to Earth if you went back in time. So that's like a real big problem. But the other thing is, so the theory of time travel, and I'll try to kind of bear like, bring this down a little bit. It's all relative. So this is whole all relativity and all of that thing. Things move in different times based on the speed that they're going like time is relative to the speed that you're traveling. So for instance, in my favorite description of this is you know, we've never officially proven relativity right. It's still technically a theory quote, unquote. But with navigation satellites, GPS satellites, If we don't correct for relativity in the timing of the clocks on those satellites, they don't work. So we've never proven relativity, but you have to use relativity for something like that to work. So like, if someone's moving away from the Earth at close to the speed of light time is going to move differently for them than it would for us on Earth. Right? Okay, that's kind of weird going to age a lot. The people on Earth would age a lot faster than the people traveling. That's like Interstellar. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So long story short time travel is not possible. You would not hear anything, even if you were going back time. And if they somehow managed to pop back out in the 16th century, they would also be a couple million miles away from Earth and die in about 30 seconds. So assuming they had a full breath of air.
Margie:But you forgot to include one thing. What's that druid magic
Rachel:that comes into my equation. God
Margie:God damn it. Oh,
Rachel:okay. So well and Rachel science corner with me head in hands just okay.
Margie:So they get there. So Chloe passes out when she hits the ground when they arrive? Of course she does. But yeah,
Rachel:she's in the middle of space. She can't wait.
Margie:Okay, so but wakes up to find Degas kind of like looking very off and just looking very, like rigid and uncomfortable. And just like what the fuck is wrong with you? And it's because he's used his match so much of his magic, like, all the demons are like wanting to hate. Literally what happens? So he tells her, I will give you every artifact I owed if you kiss me and ask no questions. And she's like, What the fuck is happening? Okay, okay. So they do they get it on. Like, he pushes her up against the rocks, the one of the rocks and they're like, really getting into it to the point where like, she's like, Alright, I'm ready. Let's do this. Like, fuck, and he pulls out his penis. And she can't close her hand around it. It's so big. Very big. That's like, oh, like I was doing this. Like the whole looking like I was holding a telescope tried to figure out okay, how big is your whole hand like her whole head won't fit around it so I'm imagining like she's gonna scooping it up holding it like this. Or holding it like this the average putus diameter this like, oh, like so about a cup of your head to the shape of it. See? Half
Rachel:the scientist in me loves you for that.
Margie:Okay, so I think that that sounds awfully big to me though. And I think that's what the author was going for. It's
Rachel:not the size of the ship it's the motion of the ocean
Margie:right? So they don't fuck because Silvan shows up his Degas his dad and it's like literally dig his pits he's so bad. But like so we're gonna kind of like time travel ourselves our team drew is worth of blue balls going on right now literally. So we're but we are going to time travel a bit ourselves because the next like, lot of the book is not important. Okay, great. The only thing that happens that's really important is that they do have sex for the first time. Great and he literally rides around on a horse to a field and is like we're do with it and they do very rough. Okay, it's IV to tie it's good but it's it's and I thought I knew what
Rachel:she better not get any sort of infection because in 16th century Oh, no. She has the life expect her life expectancy dropped like 40 years when she went back in time. Federal she
Margie:also does is immunized though so she is gonna get a lot less of those diseases that
Rachel:were prevalent. She's gonna bring so many pack with her Yeah, okay,
Margie:okay, we're not gonna get to that we're gonna just like to dive
Rachel:in and and Christopher Columbus all over again. Well, there's
Margie:this awkward moment though where she's like it's not gonna fit it's not gonna fit and they like make it work. Like Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh no. I found my new least favorite phrase is it worse
Rachel:than she think she you know she's thing is my
Margie:Sally. I don't think it's that bad. Okay, Virgin barrier. All right, guys. Iman is not a barrier. It stretches like it's it's a nice thing it stretches it's not like it's it's it's not like a piece of paper that gets punched through or something. Okay. Now works. At that
Rachel:punch your way.
Margie:Oh god. 30 There goes your Pepsi. No, yeah, so that's my least favorite
Rachel:like the complete aversion to using scientific terms when referring to like penis and vagina like that they are objects on a body that everyone I would say virtually everyone has because I don't know there. I'm sure there's some exceptions. But if you don't have one, that's a problem. Everyone has one. You can say the word Yeah, the sockets word. Hi.
Margie:He may not have had it because he's from the 16th century. Yeah, but he shouldn't know actually the way out loud. No, he didn't say it out loud. He said that he felt himself like go through it's
Rachel:just say Hyman just not maybe not as sexy. Virgin barrier is a lot less sexy than Hyman great. I'd like to give a brief Hello to all the people at work all the guys see him Monday
Margie:got um, they in the past so the good in the past, but they've still been basically like, why are you here? All I sent all that stuff to the future already. So there's literally no reason for them to go to the past. It's so annoying.
Rachel:Okay. Yeah. Well, she can she can check 16th century sex off of her bucket right off of her bucket list, if you will.
Margie:So basically, they go there to lose her virginity. I don't know. And they do declare their love to each other. He's like, so they have sex under the moonlight. out in the field. Again, they've known each other for a week at that point, haven't called it? Well, so he's like, No, he's holding her in his arms. And she's sort of asleep. And he's and he's thinking to himself, I'm gonna marry this bitch right this fucking second. That's what you do. Sure, he completes his half of the druid ritual. So while she's asleep, he says if it must be last 20 My honor for years if one must be forsaken, will be my soul for yours should death coming on Toby my life for years. I am given its and then there's like this magical thing that happens where like he, his soul is like starting to merge with her. So he's basically promised to her he's not gonna like, suck anyone else
Rachel:I know. You know, I know. You're hella single. Maybe you don't have as many experiences. I love you. But I can tell you it's very common that almost everyone in a romantic relationship is totally down to get married within the first three days. So no, immediately when I met Zach, definitely within the first week, I was like, I'm gonna marry him even though I'm 16. And definitely don't think boys are so gross.
Margie:I can't believe I personally could delvia the season. I was like a very concerned about your relationship.
Rachel:I take that as a compliment to my deadpan delivery skills. Okay, so And she's
Margie:like, so in this scene, Chloe wants to repeat it back to him. Because she's like, Oh, that sounds really pretty. Let me repeat it. And he's like, No, because he's worried that if she repeats it back to him, and he goes full dark that she's gonna be like tied to these 13 demons that are also inside him.
Rachel:And okay, he opened that can of worms. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's totally his fault. He's a dingus.
Margie:He's totally a dangus. So, she actually the way she declares Her love is very funny. So she gets really nervous. So um, she gets very nervous to tell him she loves tell him she loves him. So she practices in front of a shield. And it's like, I love you. I love you. And it's like practicing, like by looking which didn't help me at all.
Rachel:I have 1000 yard stare right now. We should put a glossary of our facial expressions on the website so that we can feel oh,
Margie:Bless you. Bless you. Bless you. Oh, goodness, so many.
Rachel:So many kiddies need this. So this is Carlos Danger. He's a little bit experienced in the romance side of things. So
Margie:yes. He's our expert. Yes. Yeah. So he's. So Degas, of course, sneaks up behind her doing this, and says, You can have the confounded shield if you like it. very confused. She gets really pissed. She's like I was practicing tried to tell you and I loved you, and you ruined it. And then she runs away. And so he chases after her and grabs her skirt, and it rips down the back. And so her ass is exposed. Say that it said Good job, guys,
Rachel:just a comedy of air.
Margie:So finally, though, he tells Chloe does tell, Degas does tell Chloe about his curse. Why has it and what he thinks that they should do about it, which is go back to the modern day and try to find the people who attacked her because the people who attacked Chloe basically worshipped the 13 demons that are inside of him. And they want them to be released because they know that because they believe that it's going to right start off the end of the world. So they get back and Degas does the one thing that you said you should never do. He does not communicate. So he knows So the bad people are in London. So he goes he tries to go off to London by himself, but they kidnap him halfway and they take him there anyway. Okay, and he's like, I was coming to meet you anyway, like, let's let's let's do this like let's do a showdown How do I get rid of these things? And they're like, not so fast and they bring out Chloe Of course, so Chloe's been kidnapped. So he, they basically tell him like, you can either release all the demons and start the end of the world, in order to not have us not kill your girlfriend, or we kill your girlfriend, and then what are you gonna do? And he's like, Well, if you kill my girlfriend, I'm gonna release the demons anyway, because I'll be so pissed. I won't be with holes, not
Rachel:the thing you tell them? Well, he
Margie:doesn't tell him that. But he's thinking that in his mind, right. So he makes us that Chloe can't see or hear. And then he releases the demons. And they're just all Yeah. And so when she, you know, when her vision and her hearing are restored, she she looks around, everybody's gone. And the room was covered in blood. And she's like, I'm booked. Um, have you?
Rachel:Did you watch community much? No. Okay. There's an episode of community where they go into the different timelines. And the darkest timeline is where one dude like, I'm gonna go get the pizza from downstairs.
Margie:I love that. Yeah, Donald Glover is fantastic. Yeah, this is a stand up. Weirdo is like one of my favorites.
Rachel:Yeah, so that's the vibe I get from that. Yeah. So
Margie:so she Chloe wakes up poor thing. And she's all alone in London. So she calls Gwen and drew stem. And although and they come and get her in London, and although they don't want to admit it, they're all kind of like, Degas is probably dead like nobody's heard from him. Right and so and when once Chloe to stay with them, she's like, stay for a few weeks, you know, you're really upset.
Rachel:It's the end of the world anyway, who cares? Yeah.
Margie:And well, they they think that so what they think happened is that Degas killed himself so that the demons inside him would die or something like that, basically. So he was sacrificed himself so Chloe and the world. So that's what they think happened. They just don't have the body to prove it. Right. So I'm Gwen tells Chloe, like, stay with us. But like, every time poor Chloe looks at drusen he looks. He looks dead on like Degas. And it just like breaks her heart. And so she's like, No, I got to go back to New York. I got to get back to my life. I got to try to write feel,
Rachel:you know, the job that I've just left for those that haven't said anything to anybody about it. Send an email. Oh, great.
Margie:Okay, so um, she goes back to New York and she goes to the safe deposit box that they set up with her artifacts in it and she finds a letter and letter is from Degas before they left for Scott for Scotland. You reading this?
Rachel:I probably exactly.
Margie:dead on. And so she in he's like, I would never leave you. I love you. I'm so sorry. And so she has that. And then she goes back to his penthouse because the penthouse is now completely hers who signed it over to her before he left team. And she's really really sad of course. And so some she hear somebody trying to break through the door. And she's like, that bastard who could do this to me and my lowest point she's like, really pathetic. Do I'm sorry, okay, for losing her boyfriend. And I guess I shouldn't say that. It would be a horrible thing. But um, so he so so somebody comes to the door, she puts the sword under the person's neck. And guess who it is? Uh, huh. Degas boyfriend. And he's like, Please put down the sword. And she freaks out like they have a moment. So he is. So Degas explains that the faith folk basically felt sorry for him. And we're like you were willing to risk your life to save the world. We give you some holy plot armor. Batman was so working to heal the wound that you had in your chest where you stabbed yourself. Okay, and then we'll take you back to your girlfriend. And so only a few hours have passed for Degas. But weeks have passed for Chloe. Okay, basically, and she's like, never, ever, ever leave me again. And then they live happily ever after. I also wanted one little plot point I missed was when Chloe meets up with Gwen immediately going, it's like we're gonna get you a pregnancy test. Because she's like, maybe you'll be happy like me and find out that although your boyfriend is dead, you're pregnant, which is the worst possible thing that could happen in my mind. Yeah, that's she's the worst friend
Rachel:who boy.
Margie:Okay. That's what happened to Gwen. She thought that Justin was dead and the baby. She had his bait, but she knew she was pregnant. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. So that's the end of the end. Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah, there's
Rachel:a lot of there's such a lot to unpack there.
Margie:I feel like every time I do one of these when I'm reading it, I'm more fine with it. But then they tell it to you and I'm like, Wait, this is very wrong. are so many like I knew like what was a bad friend. I knew that things are
Rachel:just wrong doesn't mean it can't be entertaining, but it's still real wrong.
Margie:You're really wrong. Okay, so
Rachel:now that merge, you went over the summary of the book, we're going to go take a little bit of a deep dive. And again, our word is unpack Yeah, the characters and a little bit of the story and talk about maybe why it's so great or terrible.
Margie:I mean, so, so good. I didn't mind this book, maybe because like I said, the last one was so bad. The first one, the first one that I read was so bad, but I mean, it's not great. That doesn't make it great. Yeah, things that he does or not okay. I think that I tend I do tend to fall for like the tragic backstory, Dark Hero character. So Degas is like a moth to flame. So and I think that's why I let him get away with a lot of stuff. But I and I liked reading him, because he's, he's trying so hard to be a good person. I find it like I was kind of like, he's self aware. He's very self aware that there are things wrong with him, and he wants to try and fix them.
Rachel:He's just feel sorry for himself about Yeah, exactly.
Margie:Yes, he does not he does. He he he does sometimes, but most of the time, he's more just kind of like I can't believe I'm such a big fucking idiot. Because I did this Chloe, I thought she was very at the word I would describe used to describe is Q and not Q and like an annoying way cute and kind of like an endearing way where like, she gets so excited about things. It's hard not to get excited with her. Like she gets so excited seeing all go into 16th century and she gets excited like seeing all the antiques like she's passionate. And I liked that about her. Um, she's also aware about other people. So like, when she needs Degas, she's like, I really attracted to you. But like, that doesn't mean it's a good idea to pursue anything with you. Right? So yeah, I mean, and Degas is kind of like, Could you do some bad shit, dude?
Rachel:Yeah, there's a plane freely. Yeah.
Margie:Yeah. Like, are these are you that desperate? That's a long flight
Rachel:to be awkwardly stuck in a flying tin can with other people. Also, if he has that much money, why didn't you just get like a private jet?
Margie:Seriously, though, I mean, I'm assuming that they were in first class, but that's also never described, so they could have been a coach. Grateful, like, I know that she had a wait, I know that she had a window seat. That's the only description that I've got. Oh, creepy. Yeah. So the ply? Um, kind of like, I don't the fact that they went back in time for almost no reason. Yeah, pretty dumb. I think that they just want she wanted that plot point. But I think you could have reached for it in other ways and better ways, right?
Rachel:Time travel, for me is always really sticky when it comes to like, books in general, because it either has to be done really well. Or again, to be fair, I have a little bit of a science brain that tends to overanalyze shit like that. Yeah. And I'm all on board for, you know, suspension of disbelief to an extent. But there is a point where I'm like,
Margie:it wasn't Atlantis,
Rachel:you know? You know, that's fair. Hey, You warned me about that one, though. I was able to mentally prepare myself to hold on,
Margie:I guess. I don't really have I think that time travel. I like his historical stuff. I like to travel in that sense. It's kind of fun. But it's also it's it is also like, I think that because I'm not a science brain, I can kind of hold on to my suspension of disbelief more easily, right. But I didn't I didn't like it because it didn't really have a plot point. It was they were basically they're just a bang, right? And I like I honestly liked Degas more in his penthouse apartment. I thought that was cooler in a way than them going on back in time.
Rachel:I think that's so I tend to not go for modern fantasy as much to an extent I do. I do enjoy modern fantasy, but like, I think a big reason why I don't jump on it is because of that. Like, it's harder for me to hold on to the suspension of disbelief when it's put in a modern setting, right? Because basically, the only description you can have is Ooh, magic.
Margie:Yeah, so the main male character degas's, I'm actually gonna, I think you're gonna think that I'm writing him low. I'm gonna give them a five. Just because he's not out of 550 is out of five. Yeah, we've been doing that. Okay, I'm gonna give him a 332 and a half, three, two and a half three because like, I think that I'm like I said, I'm letting him get away with a lot of things because he's my type. So I'm gonna give him a three.
Rachel:Yeah, there's a couple spots in there. It's like homeboy hands to yourself. Yeah, no means no.
Margie:No means no. But he's also got 13 demons inside of him telling him to do it. So if we're going to take that into account, just
Rachel:just 13 Emperor power
Margie:let me try that doing
Rachel:Oh, no. Just all wearing different colors.
Margie:talking to each other. Oh my god. Okay, so I'm gonna give him a three out of five. I'm gonna give Chloe a four out of five. Because I think that she was like a pretty dynamic character. Okay for a romance novel, ready three out of five it's three, two and a half to three to five per regular novel four to five romance novel okay? The plot gets
Rachel:well so why would you why would you give Chloe that because like, right right in my mind a five out of five is like Jane Eyre level motivations backstory?
Margie:That's true. I mean, she did have a pretty good backstory like they talked about her parents passing away and her granddad and why she's still optimistic after all these terrible things have happened to her right and they like I said, I liked how she wasn't in it. She was also a character who didn't wasn't just there for the romance.
Rachel:See, that's my biggest pet peeve is when the only thing that's guiding this character her only goal is like one demand meet
Margie:right? And she's not she's like to get her to go to Scotland. He has to offer her all the artifacts. Where my money yeah, basically, he's like, I'll pay you to come with me. And again, when they get even when they get to Scotland, he's still kind of like passing out antiques like, you know, they're buying coins, which isn't okay either. But I'm saying that like, it shows that she's motivated by things that aren't Degas beyond the romance and she is self empowered, where like she wants she wants these things, right. So okay, if we're gonna put it on that scale, though, of like, five isn't five is like Jane Eyre will give her two. Okay. Yeah, she's not she's not she's not so bad where she's like, like Shay hauling, but she's a little bit more in the answer that so definitely falls apart when Degas is gone. Like she does not there's no inner strength to her out. Like she becomes super dominant really quickly. She becomes flat as a pancake, okay, she's super dependent really quickly. And she's also just like, so depressed she can't even go to work or like, take care of herself, but rightly so. You still got to take care like even a bad shit happens to you got to be here. Yeah, that's the thing. So plot.
Rachel:Why did they go to 16th century
Margie:I thought that they needed to and then they ended up not, which is like, for me, it's just bad writing.
Rachel:If you've ever played I know, you haven't played d&d, but in my mind, that is like the pointless d&d side quest that really doesn't do anything. It's just filler.
Margie:Right, exactly. And that's, I think it was just like, the author wanted them to go back in time, and they do figure out, they do find out that they find out things that they could have found out in the modern day. That's kind of what they figured out. And so it wasn't that they went I guess they did go for a reason. But it was like, not strong enough to like ward them going. So but it's a romance novel. So
Rachel:like, Yeah, I think that having not read it. I think it's something that might have been a little bit more interesting is if maybe there were fewer demons in his brain. But when you got internal monologues you actually got all of the different voices that would have been
Margie:that would have been cool. Yeah, but he actually does say that they're not they don't have voices. They just have impulses. So they don't have a way to speak to him yet or right. He's pretty sure like the darker he goes. He knows that he'll be able to like hear him and they're more gonna tell him to do things. Yeah, I'm gonna give the plot a generous to a generous, generous.
Rachel:Yeah. Wow. Wow, that was indeed a lot to unpack.
Margie:Yes. Oh, boy. Always Is this a surprise? Over I'm sorry.
Rachel:So um, for those of you new to the podcast, one thing we like to do is after we go we dive through this underwater garbage fire. The first episode, you'll get it, you have a book, we like to go through and sort of do a little bit of a palate cleanser, and talk about what we are reading outside because like romance novels, if you've ever read one, which I hope you have you if not, you should are really fast rates, at least in my mind, like a couple hours. Right. So what is Margie? What have you been reading to sort of take your brain off of this when you needed a break from whatever this was? So I
Margie:have been reading so right now I've been kind of like on a reading dry spell just because I think I've been pushing myself too hard on top of all the work I'm already doing. Sure. So went to the library and I picked up some books that I saw on the shelf that sounded interesting. The one that I've picked up right now is called the Hazel wood. Yeah, that's on my Goodreads. Yeah, it's by Melissa Albert, and I'm really enjoying it. Um, I don't really it's one of those books where I'm like, I can't predict where this is going. Okay, see, I kind of appreciate that and it's very fair, it's fairy tale themed see I love but it twists on fairy tale, but it's not fairy tales that you've ever read before. I've really enjoyed it. I've also got a book at home that I'm really excited to read called the Essex print or the Essex Serpent, and it's really interesting. So yeah, well
Rachel:when you finished that one let me know because it's been on my Goodreads for a while and I haven't picked it up yet though.
Margie:I did finish the Name of the Wind and I highly recommend it too. Okay like you love Lord of the Rings if you love this book. Oh shit. Okay, it's very it's Harry Potter meets Lord of the Rings. Oh, that
Rachel:sounds rad is really okay. Name of the Wind got it? Yeah, yeah. And if you guys want us to put up set up like a good reads or something for the books that we've read and books that we actually would recommend. What do we have? What do we
Margie:have? Yeah, I just, I know we've I've already included a few books, romance novel books that we've read. Okay. But we need to add on the books that like
Rachel:we will work on getting that up and keep your eyes peeled on our social media yet platforms you for when we do get that up and send us some recommendations. Yes,
Margie:send us some recommendations for books that you think that we would like outside of the podcast, but also books that you want us to do in terms of romance, right? Because we're kind of just like going to the library. And yeah, and finding romance novels, but if you have recommendations, I'm excluding 50 Shades of Grey. I know when we do that,
Rachel:even for a special episode. Yeah, we haven't. Yeah, yeah. We're definitely finding books kind of everywhere. I actually there's a little free library in my neighborhood. And I found one there and I picked it. I'm both terrified and excited. But
Margie:like I said, we're just kind of finding books. So if you guys want if you guys have recommendations, or ones that you want us to do, or just a title that you see, that's ridiculous. We will read it for you. Yeah, you don't have to pick
Rachel:send us a picture. There's no yeah, there's a brewery in Indianapolis called books and brews. And they've been posting on their Facebook pictures of romance novels at their bookstores with googly eyes on them and it's my favorite thing. So if you want to send us a ridiculous book cover like one of them is Fabio with two googly eyes. It's so
Margie:good. You said this Fabio one recommendation
Rachel:I've never done a Fabio. Oh shit.
Margie:Okay, okay, so let's
Rachel:wrap this up. Yeah,
Margie:thank you so much for listening. Like we said if you have any recommendations or thoughts about the book we just unpacked please let us know you can find us on our website textual tension calm on Instagram at textual tension pod and on Twitter at T tension pod at attention much Yeah, so we want to thank Ayla Nereo for her song Oh love which was used in the intro so yeah, song.
Rachel:I won't lie. I got it off of a really cool free music website. So credit where credit is due. It's an awesome song.
Margie:And it's really great. So we'll see you guys. Yeah, sounds good.