This week listen in as Rachel describes the book A Promise of Fire by Amanda Bouchet. This episodes contains many MANY near-death experiences, more powers than the entire X-Men team (in a single person) and OF COURSE, dragon animorphs. One things for sure this girl isn't a special snowflake...she's a special snowstorm. Please rate, review, and subscribe!
This week listen in as Rachel describes the book A Promise of Fire by Amanda Bouchet. This episodes contains many MANY near-death experiences, more powers than the entire X-Men team (in a single person) and OF COURSE, dragon animorphs. One things for sure this girl isn't a special snowflake...she's a special snowstorm. Please rate, review, and subscribe!
Warning. The following podcast contains adult themes, including but not limited to, adult language, adult dragon Animorphs problematic encounters with potential love interests, steampunk vampires, potentially unhealthy relationships, Goblin kings and hosts that read way too far into silly romance novels. The opinions expressed in this podcast are entirely those of the hosts listener discretion is advised. Oh, tearing me apart Hello, and welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels. I am your co host, Rachel and I am your co host Margie. Every other week one of us summarizes a romance novel for our unsuspecting co host and we review and unpack what the fuck just happened.
Unknown:Our favorite word?
Rachel:It's a top two between unpack and problematic. Yes. So this week, it is my turn, Rachel to tell Margie about the book that I read. So full disclosure to start. Um, I actually read a book that a while ago that I wanted to do for today that I really liked. Oh, yay. And then I picked up another one yesterday. Okay, read the entire thing in a day and decided no, no, we're doing this. Today, I have a different one for you. Yeah, no, the
Margie:look of your face. This is like I can't wait but I'm also so sorry. So
Rachel:you mentioned last week that or last two weeks ago that the book that you read like it was bad but you felt like you were comparing it to that first one right? same boat. Oh, no, I was reading this. I'm like, okay, yeah, this is a little weird, but this isn't that bad. And then I was like way No, it's not Atlantis bad but it's not great. Um, so I'm going to hand you the laptop that we were using for our notes, which has the cover on it and then if you click behind the cover, there will be the description from Goodreads Oh, perfect.
Unknown:Here you go.
Margie:Thank you Thank you. Oh my god. Oh wow. Haha.
Rachel:Not as sexy as you'd imagine.
Margie:A sexy I imagine this is like a Oh when you said the kingmaker Chronicles earlier I thought you were talking about that book series I was no no no.
Rachel:Killer Chronicles right maker god yeah, very different.
Margie:We've got it we got a chick here with with Wow suave add a level of hair like it's being whipped. She's drawing an on issue drawing a sword or is it on fire because of like the magic thing that's happening in her other hand that isn't happening in her other hands. She's got a look on her face that says like, halfway through a fights. She was trying to figure out who you are when she's fighting with the person that she should probably know who they are. I I don't go into the background is like it's just like the storm clouds are very strange. And I'm just gonna call it mystical share. There's no other way to describe it. Okay, it
Rachel:looks like just a really bad fantasy novel. Yes. And no, not romance necessarily.
Margie:And I think the thing that makes it for me it's just the expression on her face weird is so strange. And I don't I can't imagine what they told that model when they took a picture to make her make that face like I'm trying to
Rachel:think of it and this is this is going to be on the show notes. The picture yeah. Which I don't think we mentioned last week but
Margie:yeah, the show notes are on our website. They have like the picture they have a little bit more what we think about the book, etc. Anyway, but um, so it says it's by Amanda boosh, Shay. I think so. Whoo Shay and it's the kingmaker chronicles a promise a fire Yeah, I will say this for the book cover. It's not the man
Rachel:it's not it's
Margie:it is just the woman that
Rachel:comes into play a little bit. Oh, boy. Okay. Well,
Margie:so it says fantasy romance. It's fine it's fall in love with these delicious characters tasty Oh boy. Oh,
Rachel:oh, you're looking good.
Margie:And also for once the title is slightly bigger than the author's
Rachel:Oh wow. For in and this is what we got.
Margie:Yeah, this is what we got. It's not it's not a good cover. Oh, but Oh,
Rachel:peeking by in the kimono. We actually recorded two last episodes before we actually put one out and both of those also had the name of the author. Yeah. Larger than the title. So technically, it took us six Yeah. Oh God.
Margie:So here we go. All right, so I'm gonna now I'm gonna read the description. Let's see so in caps it says kingdoms will rise and fall for her but not if she can help it. Yeah, what's your weight? Okay what? Okay is no longer a CAPS Catelleya cats FISA lives disguised as a soothsayer and a traveling circus. She's perfectly content avoiding the danger in Destiny the gods and her homicidal mother has saddled her with that is until Griffin, an ambitious warlord from the magic deprive South fixes her with his steely gaze and upsets her illusion of safety forever. Okay, wait a minute, hold on. You can't have you can't feel safe if your mother is trying to kill you. Like it's
Rachel:it goes into it.
Margie:Okay, Griffin knows cat is the kingmaker the woman who divides the truth through lies. He wants her as a powerful weapon for his newly conquered realm until he realizes he wants her for much more than her imagine. Saying Sure, that's what it is. Cat Fights in every turn, but griffins, fairness, loyalty and smoldering advances make it increasingly hard to resist and leave her wondering if life really does have to be short and lived alone. Okay. Ah, God, I just I feel like this is so it goes back on itself every like three seconds.
Rachel:Yeah, a little bit and I will explain what some of those things mean. Yeah, cuz I busted this sucker out in the in the morning. I was one of those really fast reads.
Margie:You're right though, but it is very confusing. Like wait this Kingmaker thing, right? Why? Why? Why does her mother want to kill her?
Rachel:It's, it makes you want to find out done it. A little bit.
Margie:Yeah, yeah. Okay, was this the one that you found in your little free library? No,
Rachel:that's not the one I found in a little free library. That one is a a Nora Roberts original. That's coming later. Okay. All Hail the Queen. Yeah,
Margie:I don't want to have to go and ask the librarian where the romance is. Oh, I
Unknown:have no, I haven't gotten there yet.
Rachel:I have no shame. I'm
Margie:not strong enough. Yeah,
Rachel:just just here's here's the secret. Just don't give a fuck like I do. I
Margie:like that library a lot.
Rachel:That's why we're doing this to help break the stigma that's talking about garbage Romans, are you using
Margie:our mission against me? Maybe. Alright, so let's get into it real briefly. Trigger warning
Rachel:to start want to make sure we go into that. Um, so I know we've had a couple of these now real stock homie. Low but Stockholm Syndrome going into it? A kind of so last week, you said your us kind of kind of has just a sprinkling of salt. Yeah, we have just like a powdered sugar dusting. I'm sorry. I really should not be joking. Are you?
Unknown:Okay? Does
Rachel:have sexual assault? Not a little bit there. I'm trying to think that's why if you're new, the podcast we like the word problematic. problematic. Yeah, we will be using that. Alright, so I think that's about it. There's not really any abuse or anything in here, which is great, because my last one had some, um, so this. That was nice. So yeah, I think that's about it. If there's something I missed, and I remember on the fly, I'll, I'll go into that. Alright. Okay, so here we go. So one thing that I like to do is I like to do a quick overview of what the characters look like, before I get into the plot. So we have so you said Cattleya, I said Natalia. Natalia? Because Because everyone's a little bit some people call her Talia. So okay, so I think Italia and fissa instead of Fiza. But I visa I don't actually know. So Metalia or cat as I will henceforth refer to her is curvy. I think, well, a little bit curvy in that when we first meet her. She's wearing leather pants so tight. She can't actually get them off later and she's like, awkward. Yeah.
Margie:Keep going. She's short which
Rachel:I appreciate I'm short, long dark hair bright green eyes and is 23 and that's actually how they describe it in the book as long dark hair bright green eyes so no weird like celadon or like we had so word. Okay, so that's kind of nice. Definitely. I can appreciate that. Griffin. Oh, stormy grey eyes. Oh god. hawkish notes, I don't actually know what that means. I've heard it
Margie:before means like sharp. They're not very sharp. He is probably To me what that means I usually hear hawkish features and I always think like very angular.
Rachel:Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Because they they did mention his very like angular face strong draw that kind of thing. Hi, Carlos Danger. Hello. I'm black hair. And then she just like straight up waxes poetic about his quote unquote battle chiseled body and wide jaw
Margie:weight. battle to battle when I'm about to use like an every app, but there's also like a scar. God point whatever
Rachel:fight, battle, chiseled, very angular dude is ripped, basically. But she goes on like a full two paragraph diatribe of how ripped this dude is.
Margie:How long does he go? Does she go into description of the girl?
Rachel:So this is all from cat's perspective. Okay, this is a first person kind of deal, which is not I will say nothing, at least I usually see in a romance novel. Usually it's more of the third person omniscient, but it's this is it's all from her perspective. I kind of like that. Yeah, you do get a little bit of stream of consciousness, which is kind of neat. But you want to talk about what
Margie:to do about the stream of you.
Rachel:You want to talk about family issues. Just wait. I mean, I
Unknown:figured, okay,
Rachel:so, opening scene, guys, when I make my notes, I like to break it into scenes. So that's opening scene. So we start in the circus in a really dusty kind of desert land called center. So you basically gather that cat is a soothsayer in this she plays the part of soothsayer like fortune teller kind of thing in the circus. And she is like the circuses, family, like there's a whole bunch of people there with all these different acts and everything. And you gather pretty quickly that magic is a thing. People without magic is a thing. And also, like the gods and stuff are a thing. And if anyone was ever a Greek mythology, buff, I'm sorry. Oh, because they take all of the Greek god names and all of that stuff, and throw the stories out the window.
Margie:So it's like Athena, but it's not a female. So Athena
Rachel:and Poseidon and Zeus are all like they're there, and Hades are all there and they all have the same like power is war and wisdom. Besides water, that's all the same, okay? But like it's not in Greece. Olympus is in the north in this Tundra space. That's like halfway across the world and like, it's weird. And the farther away you get from Olympus, the less magic you have. And in order to get magic, you have to go talk to one of the gods oracles. And he said, and I like I love Greek mythology. So I was a little bit like, don't fuck, that's kind of
Margie:to me. It's kind of like if you're going to do that name the mountain something different name the gods. But then use the basic backbone starting you can do that. We've had stories I've done that before. Right?
Rachel:In my mind that would have I think that would have been a little less jarring. Yeah. Because if you know if you do like mythology, like I do, really kind of throws you for a loop. But that's sort of what we find what we what we're introduced to. So cat is a soothsayer, and she she reads people, so like cold reading people kind of thing. But also, when someone tells her a lie, she like her insides light on fire, like she's really painful. And she can tell the truth. Like if someone lies to her, she knows the truth. Oh, okay, so someone outright says a lie to her. She's like, that's wrong. This is what's right. Like, yeah, okay, so
Margie:that sounds horribly right. Because every like people lie all the fucking time all the time.
Rachel:So that makes her she is what's called the kingmaker because she can tell when someone is lying or that okay, and tell if they're telling the truth. Okay, so she is in this you get a lot of stream of consciousness of vague references to a really shitty child. Like, oh, God, what's your everywhere? Real bad? Um, but also and I love cat. She did both. But not in a good like, in a good way. Oh, I love her because she is the sassiest motherfucker ever she is like, is not afraid to give it back like she's like oh hell no. So over internal monologue, it's just nothing but pure Sass and feeling sorry for yourself, which is kind of funny. Um, but also she's the biggest Mary Sue, but oh. Oh, obviously what made me want to read this book is she's just like, looking into it. Yeah. Oh, God.
Margie:I mean, like, I should have guessed that from just seeing the cover. But I
Rachel:didn't. We're keeping so if we're keeping tabs She can tell when someone's lying because it hurts real bad. Okay, okay, so that's power number one. Um, so as she's like playing the circus doing her thing she notices that this dude which she instantly calls a warlord because he just looks like a warlord because in this world there are tribes with warlords, I guess. Okay, so she looks like called Drago or something like that. All right, but black hair hawkish nose Yeah. Oh. When she waxes poetic, so it's him and he is just like, staring her down. That's creepy with his posse of four dudes, like four body guard tight.
Unknown:body guards. Let's be like what? That right there that one shake. That is not the
Rachel:first time I've asked myself that question. So she's like, okay, that's weird and like wanders off to hang out with our circus buddies and then comes back and starts actually like working the table and stuff. And she's dressed up in like really tight leather pants with a buttload of makeup to make her it's kind of older because she's kind of like okay, incognito. She's been traveling with the circus to say incognito whole thing. And so the bodyguard finally he'll come or the the warlord comes up to her. And like, starts trying to like intimidate her and all this stuff. And she's like, Oh, hell no. Like, wait.
Margie:So he immediately comes up to her and just like, tries to make her feel small. You don't even know her. Right? Why?
Rachel:Yeah, essentially, um, hang on. I have.
Margie:I think guys come on to me in some pretty strange ways. Not one of them,
Unknown:right?
Rachel:Cuz I bookmarked a little bit of this because it was like her Sass level is like, I have a deep appreciation for sass. Okay, so at one point, he's like, trying to intimidate her and everything. And she like, she's like, Alright, I'm over this shit. And she pretends to be like, terrified of something that's behind him, and gets him to like, freak out and turn around and like, try to you know, protect her essentially. Course, of course. And she turns around and goes, What in the hell are you doing? And she says, the gods might punish your gargantuan ego scary one. I'm trying to avoid the lightning. Okay. Your internal monologue is shit. Like,
Margie:I'm sure he takes that very well.
Rachel:It is vastly entertaining. So it's pretty funny. Okay, um, but so he comes up, he asked her, he's like, Alright, I want to ask her. I want my future told. And she's like, okay, great. He's like, I want to know which of my bodyguard like my bodyguards are loyal. She's like, well, that's not the future and he's like, okay, will they remain loyal to me? And she's like, okay, and so she like goes through and asked them to see if I was lying, and one of them is lying. Oh, and so he like disarms this dude and like they're about to kill him and he pulls out who's about to kill who the warlord is about to kill the trader. Okay, so the trader pulls out this vial of like magic stuff I guess. That's like gonna kill everyone turn everyone to stone everything so she like grabs onto it and he breaks it on her. Oh, no. And then we learn in power number two. Oh, cat can absorb man magic. And turn it back on people. Oh, so she could be me absorbs magic. It heals her and then she can store it for later and use it on other people. That's convenience like three powers and
Margie:also like that's like a ton of power. That's kind of like rogue from X Men. We're not done yet. Okay. But wait, there's more. The shields up a sham Wow.
Rachel:She is Billy Billy Mays of the magic world Oh no, I'm sad because I miss Billy Mays
Margie:recipes rising power our power ship our
Rachel:butt so she turns it back on this dude turns in the stone and the guy's like, how are you not dead? Also, I want you not like in a sexy way. But in a you're coming with me. I'm kidnapping you. Oh.
Margie:Okay. Stockholm
Rachel:Syndrome. Right. Okay, so we so so far pause a second we have a list of her powers. Okay, I have a second list that I'm going to be keeping track of that I'm calling the near death experience. Counter if you will. We are at one on the near death experience counter where she absorbs this magic almost gets turned to stone but manages to absorb it and turn it back on him. Okay, one one keep track. I haven't noticed. Keeping track for you. Okay, yeah. Um, so she he's like, Alright, you're coming with me? And she's like, No, no, I'm not actually
Margie:fucking Back the Night
Rachel:and runs away because power number three or five, whatever you want to call it, she can turn invisible. That is
Margie:also like the most random power and I feel like for a kingmaker I could immediately think, oh, they could probably turn invisible. Right? I
Rachel:Yeah. So she can turn invisible. So she runs away. He finds her.
Unknown:Oh, good question.
Rachel:And it's like, all right, you're coming with me. Or I'm going to like arrest and kill every one of your friends in the circus because actually, I'm the people one of the people that just took over this entire country because it just happened. You're coming with me
Margie:Kylo Ren
Rachel:the middle of fuck and they're not even close to the capital city. Like he was just wandering the wilderness looking. She didn't even know she was there. Originally.
Margie:You know what he could have done that would have been better that actually days. My kilts are good. offered her money
Rachel:right? Now he's just like, Alright, come on with me and puts a magic rope on her and they wait.
Unknown:Wait, like Wonder.
Rachel:It is a magic road that only he can untie. And I'm calling this the plot rope? Because it has apparently an infinite amount of magic that she cannot absorb. Okay.
Margie:Okay, that the magic rope part reminds me of stardust. It's right. Yeah, like he brought he ties up the star and she has to come with him. Right?
Rachel:Yeah, it's Yeah,
Margie:yeah. Okay. Okay. So fine. And,
Rachel:and seen one. And he's his prisoner. Because if, like, so she's tied to him with four feet of rope. And that's all she gets at all times. And they're just like, Alright, let's go. Yeah, so a little bit at this point. The P she turns invisible
Unknown:display that Oh, and she has to
Rachel:pee and there's a lot of bad scenes of them screams and she's like all right, because when she turns invisible anything she's attached to turns invisible, not the earth apparently but whatever. Um, so like the romaine ham turn invisible to and they can't see each other or themselves. Like that is
Margie:like a very, very oddly specific to where I feel like the author was like trying to make it okay, right. It's absolutely not okay,
Rachel:weird. So this is yeah, hired time she is just constantly sassing him and giving him shit because like What the actual fuck? Good girl. Yeah, so she is like, just giving him hell? Yeah, your time. And I appreciate that so much. Oh, yeah. She's like you took me from my he's like, no, no, you come around.
Unknown:Come around to whites.
Margie:To come around to that, that I don't I don't want to know what's next,
Rachel:like so we learn a little bit about the world in this time of like, so the three there's three countries, they're all ruled by magicians essentially. And this family from the South that was just normal humans no magic somehow was able to come in in this country and completely overthrow the magicians that were in charge because they were really corrupt and are trying to like build healing houses and like actually bring back the country from like the brink of bankruptcy, essentially. Because all these magicians have been hoarding the money for themselves and the people. Yeah, so like, he's part of a family that's trying legitimately to do good. So that we find that the reason he's out here is to find powerful magicians to come to his side to try to get a little bit of support for the magicians who hate them now because they got to post so there's a utilitarianism basic that is about as much explanation as to why he shows up and kidnaps her
Margie:not a good excuse to you know,
Rachel:I mean, I don't know if there is
Unknown:there really is it
Margie:but but that's his, it's also kind of like he's trying to bring these people on his side. And I feel like magicians aren't gonna take kindly to it shaved up a woman
Rachel:right? Right. Exactly.
Unknown:I would say I would like to think right and it comes up pretty
Rachel:quickly that none of these like warlords and is this warlord and his bodyguards have any fucking clue about magic which is pretty funny because she does okay and they know nothing or very little anyway okay, so it's it's it's kind of funny, but so they somehow managed to get this magical rope and like make it work but
Margie:love the magic group. Wait, a little addition. So like should start just a rope It's a magic row that
Rachel:has infinite power that she can do whatever So where did where did it come early? It was in the palace hoard it with all the other treasures kinky
Margie:oh god oh god though. Do the tying to the bed thing
Rachel:so there's a lot of throughout all of this there's a lot of internal oh my god my childhood was really shitty monologue real vague. Like you get little bits of it. Oh, god.
Margie:Okay.
Rachel:So oh, so along with the magical rope kind of all of the weird vaccines. The first time like he's like, you smell take a bath and she's like, No, he's like doing So like he basically drags her and like, dumpster in the water. And so she turns invisible. And she like washes all the makeup off and everything and then she's like about like trying to get undressed to take a bath and can't get her leather pants off because they're too. So she's like, Alright, I need your help.
Margie:out of the pan
Rachel:off, but I'm pretty sure she kicks him on accident. Yeah.
Unknown:Oh my god. Like, it's weird. It's also like,
Rachel:he loses his shit. He laughs dasa.
Margie:Why do you need pants that are that tight if you live in that year? I don't think anybody was really making pants that tight.
Rachel:So they explained it initially that like if you're in the circus, you have to look like you stand out in order to fit in. It's the whole thing.
Margie:And that's a very unnecessary detail to have right? Gillislee tight pants right?
Rachel:That's so she has an the pants come back into play later. Oh, no. Oh, mostly in reference. Again, but
Margie:does she put her pants on after she couldn't get them off? Does she put them back on?
Rachel:That's a good question. I don't think they ever mentioned.
Margie:I'm like Does she put on like his pants cuz they would?
Rachel:I don't actually know.
Unknown:Maybe she's just walking around naked.
Rachel:Naked, but I don't know. She puts little pants on now. I I might go back and try to figure that out later. Okay. Okay, I'll put that in the show notes. Yeah, so they're traveling and he just keeps saying like, he'll come around.
Margie:To what right? Yeah, that's the thing like is it to kidnap to me? It's like
Rachel:I put this in my special notes. Griffin is basically a five year old. Oh, also turns out he's super fucking possessive about her. Like it's
Margie:different. Like the soulmate shit. No.
Rachel:Well every once in a while, like like, Okay, so one point they are getting tailed by people that are like mercenaries essentially, okay. Not for reasons because of her but in general. Okay. And so he goes off to scout and like ties her to one of the other like bodyguards. And they're like, so his posse are fantastic. I love them all. Oh, that's great. They're like, super like,
Margie:Are they very confused?
Rachel:They're like protective older brothers that characters that give her Sass back. So they're just like sassing each other constantly. So it's really funny because like, like, they kept their kipping like, Hey, you do you want a bath? I know you like to take baths a lot. And she's like, No, no, like, Are you sure you to go off and take quick baths?
Margie:And that's all they're doing. Right? They're just taking baths.
Rachel:And so finally, like they and they're like, messing with each other and like, kind of flirting and like giving each other shit kind of way. Okay, and she like actually starts to have a little bit of fun because they're just treating her like one guy. Yeah, human, essentially. And then homeboy comes back and is like, what the hell you're being so like, Oh my God, he's super possessive.
Unknown:It's, it's so weird. It's like, I can't be happy with other people.
Rachel:Like, they're cool. He's a little bit of a toddler. Yeah,
Margie:it's like, and also, it's like, Why do you think of being a jerk to you? Right? Why? Why? Right? You see anything right about this situation?
Rachel:Right? Well, and they're like, trying to convince her to be like, Look, we know you're a magician. Become part of our team. Because we'd really like it if you like, you know, we think you're cool and like so a little bit of has he offered that to her? Yeah, actually has to Okay, um, but she's still like, No, you still kidnapped me that's still not okay. Yeah, well, yeah. But um, one thing that sort of a snapshot into like this team and why I love them so much. Like she gets horrible nightmares, like night terrors nightmares, because of you know that stuff. And so like when Griffin's out but she doesn't get them when she's quicker if in scouting, she's like tied to one of the other dudes and like has to sleep like four feet away from them and so she wakes up like punching him in the throat like thrashing around all the stuff and they're like freaking out like, oh my god, are you okay? And they end up like, he like squishes up beside her to like keep recalling one dude sit by and just like start stroking your hair slightly and like, are you okay? Like trying to call? And they're like, they do this multiple times of like, Okay,
Margie:time to help Griffin know about this? Yeah. Okay.
Rachel:He gets weird about it. Well, first he does. Yeah, it was just wondering. You should more be like Thanks for taking my girl. Hello, boys. The dudes are cool. They're fun. I like that. Okay, yeah, so they're they're hilarious. Griffin is a toddler difficult a possessive toddler? Yeah, so they're traveling around, they end up these people are shouting them. They kill them. It's a thing. Um, and so they end up going to a market city because she is giving them endless shit. And she's like, they keep eating meat goat cheese. I hate goat cheese and like always, like this is dumb. And I complain that like you don't stop complaining. She's like, Yeah, I do. No, you don't. Well, maybe if you gave me this infinite.
Margie:I mean, honestly, I probably would too. Like if you're gonna kidnap me at least like Like make it a little nicer, right? Girl, she went through a period at that time, that would be horrible.
Rachel:Oh, that comes up later. Oh, no, in the way you're thinking, okay. Um, so they go to this market town because they're like, fine if we buy you like some shit, you'll shut up early. So they go and he like they get there and he's like, alright, he gives everyone like their his bodyguard people essentially their wages because they're his soldiers, okay? And he gives her to. So like you're part of the team and she's like, I don't want it like, All right, I'll keep it because I know you want like, you know, soap and whatever else. I'll get it for you. Okay, so you get some stuff. And as they're walking through, she bumps into this dude, who's really high on a magical drug? Oh, no, and accidentally absorbs it all.
Unknown:Oh, this guy's so she gets high as a balls. Like, other guy though, cuz though he's no longer I
Rachel:know, he gets pierced. He like tries to take it back. And they like, threaten. It's a whole thing. It's a fight. But so she's like, everything's pink and shiny and running off and like going everywhere. And it's really funny was that, oh, they're laughing their asses off and like trying to like and she's dragging in places because they're still attached. She actually says she's like, Oh, I can give this to other people too, because she can do that. So she's like, everyone should be having fun. So she tries to give some to Griffin and even work. She's like, was the work that's weird. She gives it to one of the other body guards. And he like instantly becomes high and it's like, Oh, shit. So they're all like her and him are both high and like freaking out and she's like running all over the market and everything. And so there's this whole they go on this whole adventure with him trying to keep track of her and keep her in, like from doing anything stupid. And she ends up coming off of it like hard crashes hard. And she sort of wakes up and has this realization of at one point during this running around this market town. She like falls on something and scratches herself and bleeds a little bit and she's like, oh shit, they're coming for me. Because apparently if you don't dilute what she believes and she doesn't dilute her blood the people from her past are going to come get her Wait wait
Margie:wait No no no, that makes no sense. I know it's a woman that makes no sense say
Rachel:they do at one point in the book way later reference. Do you know how hard it is when I have my Yeah, yeah, like they at least acknowledge that.
Margie:But even if she's on her period like she's gonna have a waist that's covered in blood.
Rachel:Well, she burns it
Unknown:so
Rachel:she tells them before naturally passing out Yeah. Oh shit. They're gonna come kill me and they're like who and then she passes.
Margie:Oh, helpful. Mary Sue thing right just the most opportune moments super
Rachel:Mary Sue so rather than they're like, well, we can't take her back to the main city because that's where the evil family get her and the evil they're following us shit. So they essentially make her tell them that like there's people from this other the super creepy like matriarch character from this others like country is coming after me because I managed to escape when I was little they used to torture me. They used me to tell lies in court and like persecute people for the tiniest like falsehoods and yada yada yada, okay, they're coming to get me now. And so they like wander around for a while and they end up there's like 30 People like a party. Essentially. 30 people are like hunting her now. And one of them is actually one of the Royals from this other town. Oh, so they're like so. So then she's like, Okay, well, you have to help let me fight because I can. Oh, yeah, I don't know the council's power. She's really good with knives. Oh, that's
Margie:fucking cool. Yeah,
Rachel:throwing knives especially. Yeah, she's like, You have to untie this rope. Because there's five of us against 30 people. Yeah, you need to give me He's like, he's like, No, you need to run and she's like, No, I'm, I'm gonna help. And so.
Margie:So he was he was willing to let her go
Rachel:though. No, okay. What ends up happening is here you find out that there's a thing called an unbreakable vow that only magicians can take. Oh, no. Yeah. So if you're magician and you give your word to someone and you break that the gods punish you. So she he makes her essentially take an unbreakable vow to never try to escape from him.
Unknown:Oh, that's so problematic. Excuse
Rachel:me while my eyes roared back into my head roll into this like god damn God,
Margie:so we trick someone into doing that he should trigger he
Rachel:doesn't. She was like, Okay, well either we're both going to die or I'm going to do this like it was like I have to do that.
Margie:Forever. Couldn't have done it for like oh until already
Rachel:is what he his quote was as long as I live OH,
Margie:GOD NO well also like if she's the one thing she should have said like okay I'll do it until the 30 people are gone or whatever like don't do it until he dies
Rachel:they both have to agree to make them regular that and he is not beholden to this because he's not a magician.
Unknown:Oh she is oh that's so
Rachel:much right so she straight up murders everybody not her own. So they fight a lot of the regular people but anything magic related she like so the main dude is like again one of the Royals that comes out and he's one of these guys that had like torture her in the past. He has a fire magic so he's like using these fireworks and she's like, Oh bitch I got this you haven't seen me since I can do this trick Yes, orbs it and essentially explodes in the nafas army.
Unknown:Oh, awesome. Good to her Rex.
Margie:Shit. Okay,
Rachel:which is great. Except there is apparently at the very end one person that happens to be alive that she missed that shoots an arrow and she takes it for griffins.
Unknown:Ah god damn. Experience number
Rachel:so Wait,
Margie:she takes it for Griffin. So now she's mortally wounded? Yes. Okay. Heroin the long Oh, and I'm sure grip it is like totally chill.
Rachel:Think again? Freaks the fuck out.
Margie:Yeah, and because she says property right,
Rachel:right horse. So she's like, Oh, shit. Okay, well, we have to go back to the circus.
Margie:But that's not my first thought.
Rachel:Because so how much do you know about Greek mythology? Enough? I know Okay, so the circus is run by Selena. Okay, who is in Greek mythology the goddess of the moon. It has never explained whether she is the goddess of the moon and this it is explained that she is totally bang and Hades. But outside of that, you just know she's a really good healer. Okay, so he's she's like, You have to take me to her. I'm gonna die. Um, so magically the circus happens to be close by God. I don't know how they've been.
Margie:Suddenly there
Rachel:they've been traveling for like, a solid couple weeks at this point.
Margie:They were just following her apparently, I
Rachel:guess. Yeah. So he manages apparently he manages to get her there just in time, and just burst in saying fix her or I murder you all.
Unknown:Oh, my God. What you don't say? Oh, God.
Margie:This thing is very Kylo Ren esque. Like I have to say like that.
Rachel:So I have never seen that movie. I haven't seen that movie yet. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay, that I trust your judgment on that. Yeah, but so she brings cat back from the brink of death. And you find out the cat has a ton of scars on her arms, which are from they're called Death marks and it's when you are close to death. A healer can essentially enchant your blood and put it back in your body and hope for the best. And you might come back so all those scars are from when she was tortured when she was like nine where they beat her half to almost a death and brought her back so she will new one now.
Margie:Oh my god did Griffin see all these?
Unknown:Like oh god, yeah. Natural.
Margie:She got that kids baby.
Rachel:Oh, baggage this year. Baggage God. No. He's no. Oh, wow. No baggage on him. All right. She is just nothing but okay. Yeah, she she's got it for both. Okay. Yeah. Um, so Selena fixes her. And this time? She goes with them of her own volition. Okay, so right, partly because she has the vow that she made.
Margie:Oh, we know, like a lot. Yeah, probably don't have any choice. I forgot about that. That right there. We get detail. Right.
Rachel:But also because she's like, well, the evil people kind of found me already. I'm probably gonna be finding me again. I don't want to hurt my circus friends. That's true. And I kinda like the body guards. Not him. Cool. Okay, she goes with them because she's like teaching them knife throwing and they're teaching how to grapple and like, Oh, there's one of the guys Ah, see everything but Griffin is fine. And just so unfortunate man, the just sheer level of Mary Sue in this character. I love it. It doesn't sound
Margie:like a Mary Sue to me.
Rachel:He's like super Opie. And what's that mean? overpowered and then super, like, damaged and in my mind,
Margie:that's okay. That's true. Right? But
Rachel:she's damn entertaining. Okay, at least for the first half of the book. Right? And then it gets a little bit. Why am I so emotional around him? It gets a little bit like that. Okay, at least initially. She's great. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So maybe this will people and they're like, Alright, it's time for us to go back to the city now. Okay, so they're heading to the city. And this is scene four. And the during all this talking about she actually starts to tell them a little bit about like people who are after her and all that stuff because it's kind of necessary and because Griffin wants her to and Griffin gets everything you want was he's five
Margie:I'm not better. No, no.
Rachel:So she tells them about like, well, the other countries have these dragons that are like the protectors of these countries. There's a lot going on in this world thing. Yeah. And they can control them and you guys are actually the only ones that don't have one. Because when you depose the last previous leaders everything that was controlling that dragon went away and they went away. So they're like, well, can can you get us lunch? Like, I don't know maybe. But so they're traveling back to the city and what shows up but the dragon that belongs to the Jameson dromeda By the way, okay? Yeah.
Margie:Does she like bond with the dragon
Rachel:tries and it doesn't work. She's never done it before. Okay, um, but you know, this is being attacked or controlled by the crazy lady that's coming after her Andromeda. And this dragon is like from the it's like a dragon Centaur from the waist up. It's a lady from the waist down. It's a drag, and it breathes fire.
Margie:Oh, no, it just sounds like some really bad internatia creatures.
Rachel:Someone took Greek mythology and threw it in a blender. Oh, and then you get this Yeah, um, so this you ready for this? Yeah. Okay, so Griffin is like trying like okay, well you know, Ron will hold up she's like No, it's coming after me. Anyway, get your asses out of here I got
Margie:a little grip It's always like that the worship like no I can I'm going to do this right you're going to go away?
Rachel:Let me deal with it. Exactly. Well, at this point it's like no, I don't want them to die. I'm gonna die anyway. Let's do this. Yeah, so she runs after it turns out she can absorb it creatures magic too. So she absorbs fine five I've lost count of how many powers so she absorbs its firebreath and like fights it off and then finally it's like okay, well I'm gonna kill these fuckers instead. who are watching all this? No, and she's like, okay, no, I'm gonna try to control it doesn't work. So it takes her like because that's what she
Margie:wants she being kidnapped again essentially
Rachel:Oh, she gets up in the air and she's like well goodbye cruel world shrimp
Unknown:so no like why why would why she's
Rachel:gonna die anyway she's like died her own term right okay and before this when she absorbed the creature fire she also basically got burned to a crisp before healing thing took over so this is near death experiences number three right so she beats this thing Yeah. On her own very good girl. Right and again, Griffin's like Don't ever do that again don't ever sacrifice I will protect you yada yada
Unknown:Well, here's the thing he can't use I know well, like
Rachel:we learn at this point. The reason that back to that drug thing the reason it didn't affect him is because he is not affected by harmful magic.
Margie:Okay, but even if there's no special snowflakes even if he's not affected by harmful magically keys also can't fight battles on the level that she can right so like any resolution you can you imagine if she like with the dragon, just sit back was like, You know what? All right, why don't I just let you all we all would have been dead, right?
Rachel:Pretty much. Yeah. So Ah, okay. Number four for near death experiences. So they finally make it to the city. She meets the family and she's like, I'm not gonna like these people. They're not strong enough to control this word like this country. It's going to be a shit show. Turns out they're just really nice people. She's like, god dammit, I gotta help them learn shit. She like starts teaching them court etiquette and is like, helping with everything. We meet the rival love interest, which is Daphne, who had a check Yeah, who had a thing for Griffin and oh wait,
Margie:I got some girl on girl. I want I wish grace the bisexual Bay character
Rachel:she basically has it out for cat because she's like reading with mine that whole thing okay, whatever Yeah, so they are like she's helping the royal family get ready to like they're going to be having this big event to like invite all the nobles and like try to solidify their power. Okay, so she's trying to like bring them into being a royal family. Okay, you curtsy this is how you greet people this is the history like all this stuff. Okay. And one thing they do is like okay, well we're doing all these healing houses in like Public Works things in the city. It's like a day away. We're gonna go there, do some stuff there and then come back and start getting ready for that. So they go and they leave her behind because protection reasons
Margie:already like way above and beyond right Ruben that's what was it? What did what how would you do ignore like the fact that I was tortured as a child and survived the fact that she murdered
Unknown:a locking dragon? Yes, she
Margie:burned a fucking dragon 15 plus people that she killed probably like when magic powers like when are you going to realize you can't protect me? Right?
Rachel:Well, so she ends up having this like Oracle dream essentially we should get some time at night of they're going to be attacked and everyone's gonna die. Ooh, so because they didn't another power. Yeah. So like you Okay, so so she like cuz they didn't take an army with them so she's like fuck so she more like musters the army essentially. And it's like alright, let's go and she like goes like oh head of the army and just like gallops headlong there and get there right as people like the people are coming out of the woods to attack people. So she gets there right on time and rages loses her goddamn mind. And turns out she still muzzle that firebreath from the dragon. Oh, wow. Melts 30 P
Unknown:Oh, wow.
Margie:In sinner. I just
Rachel:literally described as goo.
Unknown:Jam girl.
Rachel:She like wrecks everybody's shit. And in the whole thing. Griffin gets stabbed in the chest. Of course he does. Kersey near death experience number five. Okay, I'm counting for everybody. Okay, okay. Yeah, number five him included. Um, so she essentially tries to get a hero to help heal or won't because like no fuck this guy. He like depose the magician's just like all right, so she kills the healer by absorbing all of their magic.
Unknown:Oh my god, she really loves this guy, doesn't she?
Rachel:Maybe? I don't know. Stockholm Syndrome a little bit.
Margie:Well, I know I know. But like, come on. She's so
Rachel:like, gives us all of this Power tried to heal him and then starts giving her lifeforce and almost kills herself. Number six number six.
Unknown:No, really dead.
Rachel:He was he actually legitimately was dead for a couple like seconds. Oh, no,
Unknown:he's really mostly right. Yes, she's
Rachel:a special snowflake and can bring it back. Yeah. So she almost kills him. herself.
Margie:She's a special snowflake. She's like a special snows store. A special snowflake. Yes, a
Rachel:special blizzard. So she ends up almost killing herself. And there's no way to bring her back like the healers like no like she basically killed herself to bring you back. Healers watching a train wreck. So they're like, they're like, you have to give it back to her and he's like, Oh, shit. He's the only person that can't do that. Because
Margie:Oh, like caught in Indiana.
Rachel:Magic. Work on him so he can absorb magic from him. Yeah, so do you maybe see where this is going as far as but if we mix our blood, it'll help. Oh, do you see where the whole mixing of bodily fluids things? Oh no, no, please got no gets weird gets real weird. Yeah. Oh, guys. They go back to the palace. And they finally get down and dirty. Oh, after a lot of sexual tension.
Unknown:So there's been sexual
Rachel:and sexual tension this whole day, mostly on his part and her just being like, Ah, fuck, why am I attracted to you? Yeah, that's well, and then there's this whole angsty subplot of like, No, I can't because if I love him, then the crazy lady will go after him. And she's like, really? Like, like they're getting and she's like, No, I can't do it. And then I get close. No, I can't do it. Because he's like, I get what I want. It's like
Margie:I love your voice just it's like it's up here.
Rachel:So they're like about to do that the horizontal Monster Mash
Margie:Happy Halloween, everybody.
Rachel:Well, we're recording this close to Halloween. It's gonna come out later. Um, so she she's like about to say no, again. I've like four times in this one sexy bit scene and literal divine intervention besides just like hey, bitch get to get I gave this dude to you. He's a present for me. Go wait, what?
Margie:Okay, so this again is like my first book where Poseidon just suddenly appears and it's like no, that's not how the plot should go. For that goddamn
Rachel:so props to her father for playing wing man, which is not weird at all.
Unknown:One good thing I could give you Dad It's kind of shitty honey. This is the one thing I could give.
Rachel:So it's like this whole thing like literal out of body experience about to get down like she is about to get down with this with grain okay and out of body experience. Father going, just fucking putting your back.
Unknown:Like we Dad, this is what you decide to live. Hey home dad.
Rachel:Orchard he's been getting a little bit of divine intervention throughout this whole thing just a little bit. Okay, like he saves he jumps into the lake
Margie:what about what about this whole deal about her being tortured when she was nine years old? Where are you?
Unknown:Yeah
Margie:you can't you can't stop torture Oh no, but you can let you could just like toss a man into my life. Right? Exactly.
Rachel:So okay, so I promise we're getting towards the end guys. This is a roller coaster of emotions. So Poseidon literally intervenes to be like yo get to fuckin and they do and turns out she's magically healed because exchanging body fluids and whatever magical because men are no no, we're not that crass. Because love yeah,
Margie:enjoy the sex.
Rachel:She does very much so very good. Yep. Uh huh. We didn't use it.
Margie:What's it a spicy scene? Was it spicy surprisingly
Rachel:realistic. Oh, a surprise. Like not like a porn star level description. It was just like yeah, that's how sex works great. It was I mean, it was got the job done. But it was you know, surprisingly accurate. But so So after all this there's the ball that whole thing it starts to go really well because they're still throwing a ball scene. Yeah, right. We're still during the event. So she's like wandering around like invisible weeding out liars because that's kind of her trying to figure out who's going to support them who's going to not show like at this point like okay, these people are actually they're idiots because they're so nice but they're actually like good people. I want to help them okay, um, so she's like it but it's a lot because you know, you're in a room full of nobles. There's a lot of lies. Yeah, she's
Margie:like carding up on the inside. He
Rachel:has a headache and all this shit and she's like, and you start things start to get a little weird with Griffin like he starts to be like like he's not in charge of this country. He's not the king his sister is like the queen he's second in command. Okay goes to not be first and even though he's like a natural born leader and all this stuff because you start to get this whole like no no, no, no, I think Poseidon chose me for a quest to take over all of the kingdoms so it starts to get a little weird with him. But so she's like starting to get a little like okay, I need to leave I don't feel great like yes I need to get out of here. I gotta go yeah, please I'm okay. So she leaves and she's like okay, I need to just chill Calm the fuck down. I'm going to the bath house because this is kind of Greek ask Yeah. Okay, so she goes to the non there's like the royal bath house which has been given leave to us and she's like now I'm going to go to the the normal one that the soldiers and stuff used because she's still hangs out with her homeboys who were the soldiers. Yeah, but at the bath house not to hang out with them there but like she hangs they have like barracks and like so she's comfortable in that. Okay, she goes there. So she goes to the lady side of the bathhouse and is like relaxing and like there by herself and she's like, Oh, thank God and Daphne comes out of the corner and stabs her in the
Unknown:near death experience number 777 Okay, oh wow.
Rachel:Yeah, straight up just
Margie:be like alright, it's been 45 minutes
Rachel:so she's like effect and Daphne's like know that you're dead. All Griffin will be oh my as my
Margie:argument I'm always like Wait, she has my favorite response
Rachel:to this entire thing. She pulled the dagger out of her stomach and punches it through her straight up stabs like throws the dagger and gets her in the
Unknown:home girl right?
Rachel:And she's bleeding out in a pool Yeah, so she like is able to get help from her homeboys the guard people my favorites right and your husband comes in is like holy fuck yeah. Freaks his shit.
Margie:Just carry your back to your room have sex with her everything will be fine.
Rachel:She's like dying well again right? Well so she like they find there's three healers in this entire town apparently. Explain why one of them is the husband to the chick that she murdered. Oh,
Unknown:good, right,
Rachel:right. Like I'm not helping.
Margie:This chick was already married and she was still going after Griffin
Rachel:know the healer. Oh from Yeah, when she brings Griffin Oh, wherever right so her husband is there as a healer Okay, and he's like I'm not know she murdered my wife foot that shit so Griffin snaps his neck.
Margie:Oh my god. Well, great grip and now you're done to to
Rachel:city he just keeps screaming things her to people.
Unknown:Like she's apart. It's like she has a she remains like that. Even though she's a human like no. Oh, I'm
Rachel:sorry. That's okay. No, I'm looking at the time I'm wait. Okay. So and she. So think like, get this little apprentice who's like the sweet girl who tries really hard does her best. Oh, she does. She does. She helps but she doesn't completely do it. And then they're able to find one more guy and he like brings her back. Okay, so she is alive and be like, okay, and Carlos just jumped in my Hello my buddies if you hear purring that's what it is. And so they're able to like she's recovering and she she survives. Griffin at this point just about all of this is like smashing chairs and like basically throwing a temper tantrum and fear. No, no, no, no no. And surprise the circus is in town.
Unknown:Actually just like low key stalking
Rachel:suits, because they like trying to get Selena to come help but she wasn't gonna be able to get there in time. She's like cat wakes up to Selena tearing Griffin a new one. Oh, I had her for seven years and she didn't so much is scratched your goddamn self and you've had her for a month and a half and she's almost died twice, which actually was seven times silliness. But you're close.
Margie:Well, actually one of those was gripping six times. Okay, goodbyes, Rachel.
Rachel:I can be reasonable. So she's like tearing them and Catholic. No, no, it's fine. I get it. It's not totally his fault. It is. No, it's
Unknown:absolutely.
Rachel:So when Selena leaves she basically like takes Griffin aside and is like, I swear to God if you do so much as hurt her anymore. I will and she like goes on to the stream of threads. Selena's awesome.
Unknown:Selena sweet though, because she really tried to protect you. Yeah, so
Rachel:So how do you think this book ends? Oh,
Margie:wait, I feel like we haven't even really hit almost real plot. We've been kind of
Rachel:they fuck each other. And then she wakes up in the morning and it's over. Like and, and
Unknown:but wait, what? Literally, but just is that way.
Rachel:So they literally get to a point where he's like, okay, but you have to finally tell me who you are like because she's never told him like specifically who she is like he has she has all this information. She's told him he's after him and all the stuff but never like she's she's on the run for reason. Yeah. And so she's like, okay, in the morning, I will tell you they get to get when they wake up in the morning. She's like, I'm not looking forward to this no book.
Margie:That is the dumbest ending.
Rachel:Okay, listeners this is I would say my biggest pet peeve in any novel ever. Yeah, is abrupt endings. Yeah, hate Yeah.
Margie:Like it was just over Yeah, it's just over and that is though I mean, for me what that says is that the author just wants you to pick up the next book. Yes. Trying to sell the next book because they know that they can write to it.
Rachel:Well, I'm like I'm like I and that's the worst part is like I kind of want to read the next one even though it's not a great book.
Margie:It's not a great book. I mean, the characters I will say well everyone except yours so Okay, so we're gonna go into review part yes let's let's get to review a little bit to review Yeah, the only thing I actually didn't really like about this plot it was like very nonsensical right the gods and stuff like that huh? I was I didn't like Griffin he's the only
Rachel:I would add point Absolutely agree like so Griffin is like a solid one. Yeah, if you had a five like it's just there is not a lot his entire thing so I have in my special notes some quotes of why he's a five year old. I get what I want. You'll come around I want to be king of everything. Don't let me don't you won't tell me what I want to know pout. And you won't do what I want pout. It was one of those it's very much like a flick I'm faded for you. I know your mind. Yeah. So and that's that's his character. That's all he really is. Cat is like super well developed and like has she I mean, she's a little bit of a Mary Sue because she's super overpowered and has can do all this shit. But she's a fucking badass and her snark is amazing.
Margie:And he just brings her down he totally drags her down. He really does. Yeah, good. This is a good segue though into I was thinking like for our, for our criteria of romance novels. What was that again? What the book Delta book does has one of them should be that both characters the heroine and the hero need to have ulterior motives that are outside the romance and they need to build each other up. Yeah, they need to build each other up. So yeah, something around that because I feel like he does have ulterior motives because I mean, being wanting to be king or everything. It's an ulterior motive. But like, all he does is bring her down like they have to be strong together and they're strong it all together. Exactly.
Rachel:And like I love her character in the first half of the book, like She's incredible. And as soon as like she starts to be like, I kind of like this dude. She starts to get like she's not dependent on I mean, she's a little bit but it's just she loses some of her spice, which
Margie:is Yeah, yeah, she gives a lot of herself to this this guy doesn't have a lot of substance himself.
Rachel:Exactly. She's really Yeah, so I liked her more in the beginning than I did the it also makes
Margie:the other characters around him feel less believable because it's like with her his posse though it's like if I had if I had friends like that if I like the bodyguard friends like that, I would expect them to call me out when I'm doing something wrong, right? They're not and also his family is not kind of takes away from right
Rachel:well, they're all like, oh, that's Griffin. Yeah, no,
Margie:that's not okay. You know, I two brothers and I call them out on their own. They're all the
Rachel:time so yeah well that's the thing is like so so Griffin I would get a solid one out of five there's not a lot there cat is like she's a solid like she's a four you think she's a four? Wow so there's a lot that I didn't get into on like backstory and stuff. Okay super well developed like you get a really good sense of like so there's this whole thing that the lady that is it's never explicitly said that the lady that's coming after her is like the leader of this other country who has she's like this matriarch who's like his leads by like pitting her children against each other and like, really brutal and all this stuff. And so she like, like, torturing people hold on your switch is what she did to cat. Okay, um, and she has like eight kids and there's only four left okay? And one of them went missing. Because she's like, she her this this daughter and her sister were super close and her mom's like, well the people like you because you're nice people and we can't have that so you guys need to murder each other and like pits them against each other essentially,
Margie:like Gossip Girl shit.
Rachel:It's hardcore. And so like one of them dies like the the sister dies and the other one did basically disappears. And so cats like yeah, it was really nice when she disappeared because everyone was in an uproar and I was able to escape She's totally the lost princess like it is really
Margie:obvious well, because they said in the on the back cover to like the matriarch or something that wanted to kill her right.
Rachel:So I will say this author has foreshadowing on lock. Like there is a hell amount of foreshadowing in this book. And it's like, it's actually done pretty well. Like only
Margie:Griffin would have died at the end of this book. Because she couldn't go.
Rachel:Right? Yeah, so like cat is actually super well developed. And I like her. Well, okay, beginning cat floor. Yeah, and cat. Three and a half.
Margie:That's how I felt honestly, with like, the books that I read the kiss of the Highlander and the dark Highlands brings me down well, because not that it's when when like, falls in love with drusen. And then like all of her personalities just gone. Right. Gone.
Rachel:So maybe when when she realizes she loves the Dude, she still has a personality. Yeah. Yeah. Released as strong as she did before. Yeah. And he doesn't try to change her. Right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. But I will say like, I'm I'm going to add a temporary category for supporting cast because I like loved his little bodyguard, people. They were like, We seriously I took some notes of like, stuff that they do. Like, they're all about, like, they flirt with her. And like, I like playful way. Yeah. And like sassy with the thieves innuendos and ongoing jokes constantly throughout the book. So like, like, they make a joke about um, they're like sparring, whatever, you smacked the blade on her butt. And she's like, What the hell are spanking becomes an innuendo throughout the entire book. And they're just like, giving her shit for it constantly. And like shit like that. And they like that. At one point. She's rooming in the barracks with them. And it's like, one of their room, her room, another room, like one of their rooms. So she's like, in between them. Right? And like, she'll wake up screaming in the middle of the night. And they like rushing almost every night rushing or like sitting next to her like home. Like they're like big brothers. They're so cool. Yeah, so like, the characters are great. Like, I really like every character except Griffin. Honestly, every other character is so well defined.
Margie:Which, which, which is weird. Like, it's like, all the other characters are so great. And then you have this one character that's just absolute garbage. Right, right. So you know how to write a good character. Exactly. Also,
Rachel:how the hell does she take on a fucking dragon and then almost basically die from a knife to the stomach from a jealous lover. There's probably some symbolism there, probably. But I don't feel like going into it.
Margie:That's very true. But I hadn't thought about it. It's yeah, yeah. Okay, well, what do you think about this book overall, with the writing?
Rachel:So story wise, like, overall? I'd say maybe three, like it's already down the middle. As far as story goes, the characters themselves besides Griffin are fantastic. But the story is, okay, just it's been all over the place. But I mean, it's not fantastic. It's not awful. I kinda want to read the second book, because it stops so briefly, which is exactly what she wants me to do. And I almost can't on principle,
Unknown:but But I mean, you could look up
Margie:the first chapter just see what she has to say. Like, that's the only that's, that's the only curiosity thing I have is like, Okay, what's her backstory? Because we still don't 100% No,
Rachel:yeah, it's up to her. Pull it out. Like yeah, she's like, there's so much foreshadowing Yeah. And you get so much of her internal dialogue. Yeah, but yeah, it's never explicitly said but you can pretty much assume all right.
Unknown:Yeah. So a lot right. attire to man God. Musical.
Rachel:Any so that's that's a promise of fire.
Unknown:Wow. Okay. Yep. thing, right. Yeah. If
Rachel:you came out of this feeling unsatisfied, like there wasn't much of a story. You're not the only one.
Margie:That's my that's my number one thing is I feel so dissatisfied with the ply.
Unknown:Mm hmm. Yeah,
Rachel:to be fair, there's a lot I didn't go into but it was it was heavy. So when
Margie:you weren't reading this, right, what were you reading?
Rachel:Um, so kind of my palate cleanser. I did a lot of travel for work the past couple weeks. So on the plane, I like to just kind of zone out so I got on Spotify. There is a really good unabridged audio Book of Jane Eyre. And I love Jane Eyre.
Margie:We've talked so much about Jane Eyre and I know chip.
Rachel:I know I really enjoy like Jane Eyre is like a good book. I like it a lot. So I was listening to the audiobook of Jane Eyre for a little while, which was a great way to pass time on a plane. Yeah, that's so good. Such a good book, Jane such a straw. I forgot that there's one entire chapter where she waxes poetic about like, do women have rights to?
Unknown:Yeah. Awesome. It's great. Yeah, that so
Rachel:I was I was really happy to like, listen to that. I've read it a lot. But listening to it actually was pretty nice because you can really focus on what's going on. Yeah, it's pretty nice. Yeah. So that's what I've been doing. Alright, well,
Margie:I think that's about it. Yeah. Okay, so you want to
Rachel:thank you guys so much for listening. If you guys have any recommendations, or you know, maybe read this book and you want to let me know what you thought or if you want to tell me what happens at the end. I don't really mind spoilers like that's fine. I'm
Margie:actually that would be great though.
Rachel:To be fair, I've knocked a sucker out in about four hours. Yeah, you could tweet it to us that's four hours of my life that I can't get back. Yeah, don't
Margie:make her waste five.
Rachel:Right. Exactly. So you can find you can check us out online. At what is it
Margie:textual tension pod? You knows more than I do. So you can find us at textual tension pod.com You can find us on Instagram at textual tension pod and on Twitter at tension pod. Yeah, tension. Um, thank you for our intro song.
Rachel:Oh, love by the artist ala near you. Yes. It's an awesome song. I got it off of a really cool website that gives like free music to us and it's super cool. So I want to love it's credit where credit is due. Thank you. Yeah, so thank you guys so much for listening. And we will be back in two weeks where Margie will tell me about a trashy garbage fire or romance
Margie:garbage fire I think it may be an OSHA garbage fire you guys
Rachel:thank you for listening
Margie:one thing I always wanted to write was a fanfiction of 50 Shades of Grey but like that's the comedy part but then on the side have an actual healthy romance.
Rachel:Okay, but I want to have like a romance novel that is from someone else's perspective watching this shit goes down but like Oh honey, no, no, no
Margie:no try to talk to the person like
Rachel:YouTube videos the sassy gay friend.
Unknown:Yeah. For romance novels
Margie:about sassy gay friends.
Rachel:So you you like to write you're kind of in the author world. You should write that I would love it. However, if
Unknown:you did you write to I don't know. I don't write I draw. Okay, so I'll do the art. I'll do the cover. I will I'll do a fan. There you go. Beautiful.