Textual Tension

Ep 7: The Boi with the Dragon Tattoo

January 01, 2019 Textual Tension Season 1 Episode 7
Textual Tension
Ep 7: The Boi with the Dragon Tattoo
Show Notes Transcript

Happy New Year listeners! This week listen in as Rachel tells me, Margie, about Blaze by Donna Grant. Hear about our boi's perfect Dorito shape, the intricacies of hacking, and kidnap-ception. Please rate, review, and subscribe!

Rachel:

Warning. The following podcast contains adult themes, including but not limited to, adult language, adult dragon Animorphs problematic encounters with potential love interests, steampunk vampires, potentially unhealthy relationships, Goblin kings and hosts that read way too far into silly romance novels. The opinions expressed in this podcast are entirely those of the hosts listener discretion is advised.

Margie:

Oh, tearing me apart

Rachel:

Hello, and welcome to textual tension, a love hate relationship with romance novels. I am your co host Rachel and I'm your co host, Margie. Every other week one of us summarizes a romance novel for our unsuspecting co host and we review and unpack what the fuck just happened. So this week, I Rachel get to tell you Margie about

Margie:

a little listening to robots Dale. Great little dance

Rachel:

a legitimate dance a legit dance. Yeah, so I'm gonna I'm gonna Oh baby. I'm so excited. So a little bit of background real quick on this this novel before we really get into it because I I feel a little bit like we cheated. Friends and listeners. We recording this like a week after we did our last one. Yeah, so it was kind of a quick turnaround. So I had to get a book that I could you know, kind of blast through and ended up being perfect because I ended up being sick for two days this week, like with a cold so I spent one of my sick days on the couch for like six hours just reading this book. Are you ready for this already? I'm sorry. I feel like I cheated. Okay, because there are two last episodes that we've never put out this one is from the series that I read. For the last episode. I'm handing her the physical copy of the book.

Margie:

So listeners like the title of the book is called Blaze actually, the title is smaller or larger than the author's name hallelujah, which is shocking. It's Blaze a dark it's got this it's got a assuming a dude's back. I would help very muscular back you know. I'm looking Oh,

Rachel:

easy. I didn't couldn't tell. Well,

Margie:

here's the thing. I'm looking at this cover probably to close more closely than I should Well, I'm like it's not that he's wearing pants. It's that he just kind of disappears

Rachel:

His pants are the void

Margie:

so he just kind of becomes like It's like Danny Phantom for the waist down he just kind of disappears at that he's got this dragon touch giving me a tattoo on his back.

Rachel:

You pick that out? I didn't when I first looked at the note like the cover like I just I didn't pay enough attention to like notice that until they actually spell it out in the book. Oh and don't

Margie:

forget about the sparks and the fire Photoshop that was put

Rachel:

Oh great. Yeah. This like sepia, gray, green

Margie:

greenish gray. Yeah, I wouldn't it's not quite CPF but beyond just but the fact that he just disappears for the waist down really is just the cherry on top. Okay, something about his personality. Alright, so again, it's called Blaze by Donna Grant says nothing about nothing. So okay, so,

Rachel:

Anson okay, I don't know if that's right. It's a Scottish thing. I don't know.

Margie:

Okay, here comes the summary. Anson is a fierce Dragon King, a dragon shapeshifter, hashtag animorph. bred to protect his own butt with a rogue tech company what hacks into their world he was joined forces with the unlikeliest of ally allies. A human female team never met you Windows life. Yes. Okay.

Rachel:

He just refers to them as females. Which is not wrong.

Margie:

No, it's not wrong. But it's also like you're grouping together half of the whole species into one so basically calling them the same. That's stupid. I hate it. Okay, her name is divan. Breton? Devon. That's right, Devon. Her name is Devon Abrams, a rising star at the firm. She has no idea that her boss is in league with a senator Faye sinister Fey and their secret word gets humanity hashtag jerath

Rachel:

Anson Anson and so that's what I said. So, Dr. Anson

Margie:

gains her trust he can defeat the enemy from with them, but first he was fine. So the attraction to this exquisitely exquisitely beautiful mortal. Devin loves her job at the firm, but sometimes she wishes she could find a man a real man that comes up. Okay, I love her. She like matches are real bad, but he's a fucking he's a drag. She was threatened by her success. When she first meets answered, she's overwhelmed by his powerful masculine presence and disarmingly gorgeous smile. Sorry, guys. But when he reveals his true mission, and his ability to transform into a dragon, she's irresistibly drawn to the battle between humans and Immortals. Magic, magic and technology, danger and desire, and some vows to protect her from the Fae. But can he control the flames of passion that blades have been?

Rachel:

There's the title.

Margie:

Oh, there's so many things. There's so many things I say is like beat my book against this book against my leg.

Rachel:

Right? Um, so again, I feel like I'm cheating a little bit, but I just I couldn't. I couldn't like not bring the dragon Animorphs to the world. Like, right, I just had to. And honestly, I wanted to see the difference between the one I read before, and how another one in the not in the series kind of played out. So the reason so initially, kind of off script or off off books, I had asked what the dark Highlander series that you had, or the Highlander thing. Oh, you bet. Yeah, yeah. So that's because she has another series called the Dark Highlander. Oh, she does. Yeah. And so that one about I'm guessing a Highlander, probably. So the reason I picked this book is because I read the back of it. Like I picked it up. I'm like, oh, that's from the same thing. I won't read that. And then I looked at the bag, and noticed it was about a tech company.

Margie:

Oh, and I just got I had to ask. I told me that this had to do with hacking. I had to Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, I

Rachel:

think this guy is wearing pants. No Look closer. Well, there's like a distinct line though, before it fades into a blue. See? I

Margie:

don't think so. Let me see it again.

Rachel:

I think there's a distinct line down

Margie:

here. But when you look here to here, there's no difference. There's no line right here that suggests that he has pants.

Rachel:

Well, and if we're really looking at it, that man's hips should not be that long.

Margie:

Let me see. No, just like,

Rachel:

Man, those are some low rise jeans. If that is well he's got

Margie:

that dough Rito shape going on. So good. Dorito shame. So like Doritos. It's no sponsor. Do you think he's like cool? I think it's good. Really looks cool, right? I know. There's some I'm thinking sweet and spicy. Well, he definitely has that. And that's sweet and spicy, but I'm hot that but nacho cheese ship.

Rachel:

Maybe some chipotle ranch.

Margie:

Okay, okay, so,

Rachel:

alright, so Good Reads Oh, um, real quick before we get super into this trigger warnings in this one. There's actually so there's some kidnapping that happens. There's some a little bit of like torture kind of stuff. Okay, happens. Okay. And then. Yeah, I think that's about it. Like, there's not really there's maybe a sprinkling of sexual assault.

Margie:

There's always a little light powdered sugar does. Dae

Rachel:

Jung really finishes it off.

Margie:

It's what we know. It's awful. Yeah.

Rachel:

I'm sorry, guys. My coping mechanism is humors that unfortunate things I make bad jokes. Yes. look bad. Yeah. So I think that's about it, though. As far as trigger warnings go, so I think we're good. If there's something else comes up. I'll pop in with it. Okay, so Goodreads actually has it has like 4.4 out of five

Margie:

that's my eyes are wide. That is surprising.

Rachel:

Not the rating I would give it okay, but it's so so I've noticed this actually the books that we've read that had not as great reviews usually involve like some serious like kind of sexual assault overtones and like really not okay, problematic. Yes, yes. This doesn't have that. So immediately it puts it in the four and above tier of romance novels, which is so depressing

Margie:

Yeah, it's really depressing.

Rachel:

Oh my assumption Oh,

Margie:

it's it's kind of like there with stuff like the Nim King which go back to the first episode guys. It was like there were all so many five star reviews which is horrifying it was but they they derive down all the two and one stars reviews that were the few ones that were out. There's a

Rachel:

couple lower like reviews, but most of them are in the threes and fours. Okay, so who knows? Alright, so by now if you guys have listened to us, you know how I like to structure this. If not, hey, this is how I like to structure this. I like to go over what the characters look like, and then we'll get into different scenes of the book. So Devin Abrams, is she's brunette kind of shoulder length hair rockin body. Of course, of course. I'm

Margie:

sure she doesn't work out or do anything healthy. She

Rachel:

talks. She goes for walks. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. And she is pale blue eyes.

Margie:

She's a fucking special snowflake.

Rachel:

She's a special snowstorm. Yes. So blizzard. No. Good. So yeah, she has pale blue eyes. Um, this is specifically for Margie. I counted they only use the word sell it on once. In the last book, I read the word celadon for gym name it is not just to describe a dude the eyes. They only described his eyes once as celadon in this one because he does come up. Did they?

Margie:

Do they describe his eyes multiple times? Or do they only describe his eyes once and they're described as celadon

Rachel:

they only described his eyes once. Oh, in the last book, they described them 14 times as selling. Yeah. So yeah, maybe that'll be released at some point. Who knows? But they only did it once this time. crossbar. Hanson who does not have I don't think he has a last name. Just answer. Okay. Um,

Margie:

well 1000s of years.

Rachel:

Within What

Margie:

was that show in? Well, we were in grade schools, but the kid who could turn into a dragon and Zuko was the Yeah, yeah, there was there was a show and I Okay, now I have to look it up.

Rachel:

Margie, Google something. While you Google that look up Zuko dragon. God, so you're gonna get a lot of Avatar stuff for that. So when you Google that so Anson has long black hair? Which it seems like most dudes, like any dude that you want to get across as being like super, like hyper masculine or whatever. Or like a warrior always has long hair. And fucking black eyes. What is up with black? I'm sorry. Oh, onyx, orbs? Or why?

Margie:

Why? They're just that's how they're described as Onyx orbs. That's uh,

Rachel:

uh huh. I'm imagining also like this is so stupid. completely black is what I'm imagining. whatsoever. Yeah, exactly.

Margie:

But also I'm imagining like, come on, coming out of this eyes like Onyx.

Rachel:

Well, congratulations, you've now given me a nightmare. But okay well, okay, now I'm uncomfortable. didn't do it. But that did. Also, I'd like to mention that there was another dude in this book that I thought of you immediately when I read his description. Oh, because guess what color his eyes were

Margie:

golden freaking Golden Eye.

Rachel:

black eyes might need to go in with this now. Like we might have to jump in with the black eye trope now too as

Margie:

well. Yeah, absolutely. I mean black guys though usually signal signal bad guy though. Where's GoldenEyes signal good guy get

Rachel:

well actually it's the opposite in this really? It is going to get something cuz nothing great but something alright, so did you figure it out? No, I'm

Margie:

still looking okay,

Rachel:

we're gonna cut in the middle of this no good this a

Margie:

why? Why am I struggling so much. It was called like Jack something. Oh,

Rachel:

I know exactly. What you're talking Yeah, right. Um Oh, God. I know it because

Margie:

it was me Jack Jack dragon or something like yeah reminds me of American Dragon Jake law. That's what it is. I only watched like two episodes of it. And I was like, this is kind of lame. But then Avatar The Last Airbender came out. And that's just like,

Rachel:

the most perfect piece of animated cinema ever. Exactly. Yeah. If you think otherwise, you're entitled to your opinion. Fight me. Anyway, okay, so scene one. So we're kind of open with Anson and two other girls. Oh, no, no, they're already taken. They're spoken for. It's fine. Okay. Kinzie and Esther because who needs who Hey needs normal names. I can't talk My name is Margie. Well, if your name is Esther I'm sorry if your name is Kathy though like Kinsey though let us know cuz that's a cool name.

Margie:

I thought that you say Kim cheaper a second now

Rachel:

she's not named after fermented. That's like that's

Margie:

actually a drag queen sleep though. KIM JI

Rachel:

I'm not surprised for some reason. Anyway, so they open on them sort of like spying outside of chi vor which is a terrible name for a tech company but whatever Okay, wait, how

Margie:

do you spell that? I'm

Rachel:

sorry. Ky vor Khyber?

Margie:

Okay, it doesn't. My face is very confused. Yeah,

Rachel:

it doesn't have anything to do with any type words. I know. So it's a tech company. That's spying on you ready for this? Oh, I'm so excited. Dragon.

Margie:

Oh, good friends over at Reagan. What?

Rachel:

Oh, so Dragon is again I feel like I cheated a little bit because Margie knows a little bit about this world from the last episodes referring to them forever. So Dragon is this place, which is officially spelled out in this book. It is in Scotland. Oh, okay. That we know that makes whiskey. So they're like, Oh, right. This land that is their land and on this land in order to stay relevant, I guess quote unquote, air quotes. They've been manufacturing whiskey for hundreds of years and that's like their cover. They don't even

Margie:

make bourbon. They may name it Scotch because they're Scottish. Oh, right.

Rachel:

But they named their fucking company. The Gaelic word for the Celtic word

Margie:

for Dragon. Well, I don't think that that's that weird though. Like companies well, okay, so people will name stuff after like Greek gods and goddesses all the time. It's fair, but that's a little on the nose. It's on the nose. But who? Who else who's gonna guess? Hey, you know what this company is called Dragon that means dragon to therefore there must be a dragon.

Rachel:

Go in

Margie:

and see mooshu

Rachel:

Well, I joke but that's happened in previous books.

Margie:

as well. I'm just like, that's not the first thing I guess in the normal world.

Rachel:

So Khiva is spying on Dragon because they know what's up. Oh, they

Margie:

know that they're dragons. I

Rachel:

know. Okay, um, it is heavily implied that they know

Margie:

it is heavily implied as they're beating the dead horse with a bat

Rachel:

heavily implied in the same way that a brick applied to your head heavily implies a concussion heavily implied. Right. So they're trying to get into this company and like kind of figure out what the company knows and like what information they have on dreaming. So Kinsey, you ready for special snowflake syndrome? Oh, we are in the middle of the midst

Margie:

of a special snowstorm she must have she have another book series and whatever she does, all of these are previous

Rachel:

books in this series. Alright, let's flip characters. So Kinzie used to work for Commodore is a hacker.

Margie:

Okay, sure. She's a legit hacker to her back by by

Rachel:

her and I'm using this word as they aren't doing the book her mate. Oh. Just got a physical reaction to that. Okay, I got to work a lot. Her mate is also a hacker. I'm Esther. Former MF five. Okay, cool. Yeah, often pitches Right. Um, so they are both they both kind of have like a vendetta out against keyboard. And so they're there to kind of help get into it. And then Anson is there, because so it's known that Kira has essentially a visual database of all of the Dragon kings, which is what they are, because they know who it is. Okay, so he's just kind of there to hang back and provide essential the muscle if

Margie:

it would be really funny if Kai bore was like another word for Dragon another language.

Rachel:

We should figure that out. Or do you Google? Well, I talk about this more. Okay, so they're kind of like trying to get there and the way they decided to do this and this at least I can give them credit for the best way to do it is to have someone on the inside that can feed you information, which is true. So they I say pick out one person just happens to be Devin Devin is a chick who is kind of high up in the company, but not at the very top and she's looking to get higher up like she really cares about her job. She loves her job. But she's like really, here like she has a lot of drive. So they're kind of going into the assumption that once they like, sort of give the inkling of hey, something might not be right, she will be willing to look into things on her own. Okay, so that's kind of their their thought process behind Devin and they also, so then they cut from them to Devin. And she just takes like an entire chapter to describe in heavy boring detail exactly what Devin does during her day down to like she went to lunch and had herring soup, which sounds disgusting. And like oh, like really really in depth. And it was super boring.

Margie:

Very that's that's very strange. That sets me again like like nano remote.

Rachel:

National Writing must be like maybe 10 trying to get across like her life's not that exciting right now. It's about to be but it's not yet

Margie:

me. I mean, that's just like that's yeah,

Rachel:

it was kind of weird.

Margie:

That sounds like a weird like the write the writer was on a weird Yeah, schedule or something.

Rachel:

Within this we do find out that she really likes her job but her job is her life. She has a terrible time with the dating world because she doesn't like and I quote, metrosexual men. She likes manly men. She wants someone who's live, you know? grizzled barbarian whatever homeboy. So that's like that's not word

Margie:

for word but that's well the metrosexual part but also like the the manly man kind of thing like what do you mean do you mean like guys in the US who wear flip flops in the middle of February and still wear shorts and a sweatshirt? Like what do you what does man like and like hats to the you know what I mean? Like

Rachel:

are you do you identify as a man congratulations you're a man

Margie:

I don't know like whatever that Dorito shape or the

Rachel:

dirt man you know that's probably it congratulate well I'm sorry guys if you're not a Dorito

Margie:

so the only thing that has been come up about keyboard is called Khyber kiteboard genomics the war against cancer can be one and in India yeah it's a it's an India

Rachel:

is Khyber a it's like a Hindi word.

Margie:

Maybe I mean, let's look it up.

Rachel:

We can always put that in the show notes if we figure it out. But so she goes home and she has like this huge meeting the next day and all this stuff but she's like relaxing and then she pulls up her computer and all of a sudden the screen goes black Oh, oh no. And this word start appearing on our screens.

Margie:

Oh god okay that

Rachel:

saying shit like you don't know like the company like you you know like giving her stuff to look into that's kind of like concerning like this person was like they tracked this person down and followed her and like she disappeared and like all this stuff and like so the kind of warning her it kind of given her like little like tidbits of information that she will naturally want to follow up on. And she does Okay, um, and she like it really like hits home because she like starts start looking into things and realizing that like there's a lot of people that like have spoken out against this company but you have to really dig to find them and also they're all dead so like straight hair go south real fast and so she agrees to help the people who surprised it was answered and Kanzi and all them because can Okay hacker lead hacks or and can do that. And so she agrees to help and so she meets them they meet at her apartment Okay, comes out that actually Khyber has been watching her for reasons that we don't know. And so she like they give her a laptop that is not like it's a clean laptop kind of deal. Like

Margie:

and she trusts that.

Rachel:

Yeah, cuz she didn't really have much of a choice at this point. Because they've actually been like watching her apartment and like there's cameras in her apartment, which Kinsey's? Oh, yeah, like she like she loops the footage because lead hacks for instance.

Margie:

Yeah, sure.

Rachel:

But whenever I have questions, um, yeah, so then they like straight up teller. They're like, alright, magic exists. This dude's a dragon. Like they straight up like tell her everything. So

Margie:

is he having any sort of special snowflake feelings?

Rachel:

Oh, so many specials? So, so much heat? Oh, God. Oh, yeah. There's like, um, so So you learn that like so the dragons are colored coded essentially. And so each key wait like Power Ranger essentially. So each quote unquote King has is like a king of a certain type of Dragon. I'm 12. Okay, he's keeping up the browns. Oh. Every dragon poop emoji

Margie:

dragon every time I

Rachel:

just giggle I'm 12 Guys, I'm sorry. Anyway, if you'd like that I add to this. I will say saving grace was when they described it as like chocolate brown like okay, that's Whoa, well that that that is a little bit better to me than just shaped brown Browns football team

Margie:

like that the kids the kings of dragons ever got together and like actually had a meeting and you know, communicated like, they're really good guys. Route dragons are here, right?

Rachel:

Yeah. But okay, so that's like, end of scene one sheet is to help. Okay, and Anson ends up staying in her apartment as like a like, he's there to protect her since people have been kind of coming around and like whenever around so he's gonna sleep on the couch. Like do whatever you do. It's fine.

Margie:

As it creates Octo it's not that creepy. Would you call it creepy? No,

Rachel:

no, not creepy. They have like some actual cute moments and like, it's nice. Okay, um, so MC one and we're going to keep a counter you know me and my love of counters. Yes, I do is this week's counter is days since meeting answer. We are on day number one. Okay. Okay. So it hasn't even been a full day yet. Just in the middle of day number one. Okay, I'm also a think it's time we check in with Rachel science corner. So I will be the first one to tell you I am not a hater. Yes. I

Margie:

sure haven't Wengie way way I

Rachel:

have a pretty okay understanding of computers. I'm not a hacker pretty okay

Margie:

understanding of

Rachel:

computer I'm a computer and

Margie:

whenever

Rachel:

I have a pretty okay, I understand

Margie:

I say is I do computer engineering for my career, right?

Rachel:

So well, but I don't get into like the backend stuff. i There's a lot I don't get

Margie:

into the backend stuff you say.

Rachel:

But I did do a little bit I know a little bit. I worked in it for a while. And I also did a little bit of searching. Okay, um, hacking is not sexy, which I knew before. Hacking is absolutely not what you see in the movies. You it isn't someone typing super fast video game reflexes of like responding to

Margie:

it. It's not the Dragon Tattoo either.

Rachel:

It's not that interesting. Honestly, usually. So what? Usually what it is, is you have to have your brute forcing things. So you were just spamming a website with all of these different possibilities to try to identify vulnerable things. So you literally hit go and walk away from a computer for a while and just wait, like, it's and you

Margie:

said you don't know anything about hacking? Sure, sure.

Rachel:

I know that you can teach literally anyone how to be a quote unquote, hacker. It's not that hard. There are places out there you can go. Yes, Margie, I can teach you. But it's not that sexy. And also, it's not fast. So all the stuff they're doing about like, oh, well, oh, no, they're coming up and like, like, I have to fight to get past them and have it. No, it's no, that's not how it works. So I won't go into it because it's real nerdy. But that's not not how it works.

Margie:

It's like Han Solo. That's not how the force works. It's not how it

Rachel:

works. Also, it requires a lot of like firepower to do that kind of stuff. Like you have to have like a pretty decent computer to do that solid desktop like machine like your tank, like my tank. Oh, no laptop. Right home at home girls working exclusively off of a laptop. I'm

Margie:

typing really, really fast.

Rachel:

And they talk a lot about like getting behind the firewall and everything, which is a thing like legitimately a thing. But that's not it. Like if a tech company only had a single firewall. That's a shitty tech company. Yes.

Margie:

Do they hack into the mainframe? We do

Rachel:

not hack into the mainframe thank Christ. No, but I will say there's a little bit we have a little bit of a reprisal Rachel science corner later when a hack the GPS. That's what I fucking do for a job. Okay, that's not how it works. Sorry. You can spoof GPS you do not hack GPS. You do not back radio frequencies that are coming in your fucking car. The aliens can do it. Jesus Christ. We know how many

Margie:

even a cool

Rachel:

alien like that's a cool alien. Okay. Shitty dragon aliens. All right. seem to Okay. Okay. So Anson stays with Devin overnight like stays on the couch and everything. Which weren't there cameras can see the footage? Are they gonna get a little suspicious that this chick is hanging on on the couch in broad daylight at midnight? Whatever. So Devin, like there's been sparks going on this entire time

Margie:

to go Wow. Well, so she

Rachel:

goes up and goes to bed and he's like laying on the couch. It's kind of like sitting there like I'm not gonna get any deck it was really hard. He's not thinking about her yet. She comes downstairs sits on the side of the couch was like Hey, home girl gets what she wants.

Margie:

After it Yeah,

Rachel:

she and you know sexy time and Sue's

Margie:

is a sexy isn't like okay, she's okay.

Rachel:

Okay, um, I believe in my notes specifically, I said, Devin decides to fuck it literally and get it on with Hey, guys, my notes are a treat. They're hilarious. I'm funny. Fighting so in the morning anthem kind of has this moment of oh shit, we're gonna ruin this chick's life if she does this for us because it's gonna she's gonna lose her job and like I'll possibly put herself in danger. Please don't do this I kind of like you. Oh, it was really hard to convince her not to and she's like, Okay, I won't and she was like okay stay here first mistake goes off to like find the other checks again with and she's sitting there she's like, like each of those all those people that died they have families I'm gonna feel really bad about myself if I don't do this so she just gets ready and she goes in and answer is like oh fuck as soon as he hears and so he like sprints and tries to catch her before she goes into the building and he doesn't so like okay Sprint's to the crowd and she like looks at him and walks in. Oh,

Margie:

I love her for that problem because first

Rachel:

of all, he's pissed. Second of all, they have video like like facial recognition on all of these dudes. He just put her in a lot of danger Oh on him seem to do some Reading Ansan still at one but we're at a solid one now not half of one.

Margie:

Okay, so it's been literally 24 hours 20 hours

Rachel:

technically less than but closer so she goes better normal day and just like to be fair terrified the entire time because she knows that they're watching her lawn or theater. There's a camera behind her head like all she knows. And so she's trying really hard to like just be normal, super nonchalant. But she found an excuse to like, do some research and so she starts digging in and she's going about our normal day. She's like, even stays an hour later than everyone else, which is what she usually does like yeah, okay, so a half hour before the end of the day. Oh, no. She gets called into the CEOs office. Of course she found out but she still like denies it and Mr. Gray will see no homeboys. Not that Nope.

Margie:

Not that creepy.

Rachel:

I hope. No, he's creepy, but a different way. Okay. Not in a BDSM kind of way. Okay. Which Hey, BDSM is your thing. That's fine. That's fine. isn't creepy? Maybe 50 Shades of Grey isn't the most complete representation of place. Right. So he, like she took credit still denies everything. She's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. Like I did and she's still so she does not believe in magic and all this

Margie:

shit. Yeah. When I on a Friday,

Rachel:

so they're like, oh, shit, she doesn't actually know. Okay, great. Come on with us and so kidnaps her

Margie:

way. Why would they kidnap her she doesn't know anything because what they want

Rachel:

is essentially a Dragon King because they know they're dragons. They want to essentially capture one and get it on video of him transforming and they think that they can use her

Margie:

because they know that he cares about her a little bit at least

Rachel:

or they think so well because so there's this whole thing like the dragons are supposed to protect humans like that was their thing. Oh, they're like well, maybe they don't maybe they do but she's still a human so you're not an asshole like we are so you actually might like protect because he has this tool.

Margie:

Okay, he might sorry. This guy actually he thinks like okay this this dragon is actually a decent dragon he'll come out and right say Zack without no knowing that she's his quote unquote disgusting I hate this word, mate.

Rachel:

He doesn't even know that yet. Okay, okay. He just is starting to assume god yeah. So takes for warehouse ants and follows naturally naturally. Um, and I think that it's a trap again. No, he knows he's fully aware. Okay, what do you fight for? Like to try to save her? Oh, and turns into a dragon and she's like, What the actual fuck? Like she is loses her. She's like, What the shit? Like?

Margie:

No, honestly, come on.

Rachel:

I went to right. Yeah. And then later both kidnapped and taken to another warehouse.

Margie:

How did they kidnap a dragon kidnap

Rachel:

ception they unconscious somehow? Santa's magical druid that can do all this shit. And it's a druid. Druids are thing

Margie:

Druids are a thing? Well Druids are think of my last book. Remember? There's

Rachel:

a lot of Druids in this Oh, god, it's pretty bad. So day since meeting Anson,

Margie:

to two girls out a lot of stuff.

Rachel:

She's having a no good very bad day. So they're both held. They're both held captive in another warehouse because it's both kidnaps section and warehouse section.

Margie:

Table. Warehouses, empty warehouse layers like an

Rachel:

onion. So so the way this scenario is set up is they're in like a big room. And Devin is in a cage inside of the room that Ansons in. Okay, so room, Anson cage, Devin outside it's

Margie:

like the CEO but stupid like but hey, guys, make sure you get the cage out to put her

Rachel:

I don't eat well. Well, I My thought is she so their whole thing is she is pretending to be terrified of Anson and not wanting like, doesn't want to like

Margie:

cuz she's pretending or she's serious. Okay.

Rachel:

Um, because she doesn't want them to know that. Like they care about each other. And also like, she's not that hard to be like, You're a fucking dragon. Holy shit. Yeah. So you didn't mention? Well, you

Margie:

didn't mention that.

Rachel:

Yeah, so they're, they're kind of which I didn't need to show her magic. He can do magic.

Margie:

Because I would involve direct communication here does

Rachel:

that. There it is. So she's like, pretending to be afraid, but whenever they're not there. Anson uses his magic so they can't tell what they're talking about. And so we get holy exposition, Batman. Oh, so they go on this little thing about like, the History of Dragons and like, her backstory of a tragic backstory. Her mom died. Her dad got really sad and didn't want anything to do with her. So she went to live with his family his brother's family was in and so her dad was like a Victorian era gets worse. Her dad went off into the like to be in the army and gets killed and like that order so she's essentially adopted by her uncle's family. All right, cool. That's fine. She gets really into stage magic, because that's what her dad really liked. So she wanted to feel closer to him. So they would go to all these magic shows and

Margie:

can't do those things like God.

Rachel:

So she's like, driving with her cousin to go get something. It's rainy and she's mad because she can't go to the show. And so like they get into a car accident. It's kind of her. It's not her fault, but she thinks it's her fault. She tells her uncles that she survives her cousin doesn't. And they're like disown her, essentially. Oh my god, as soon as she turns 18 They're like, Alright, leave.

Margie:

Oh, my God, this is such a tragic story. related. Yeah, is that the random magic? And,

Rachel:

like weird? I don't know. It was it was an odd so only exposition Batman.

Margie:

Yeah. Um, and I'm sure he's just enamored with her now because of her tragic backstory, right? Naturally.

Rachel:

Well, so well, you get the whole I want to protect you forever, kind of. Because, you know, she needs it. Um, because she hasn't lived her life this far up to being 26 or however, or whatever she is. Now. So this is where they say essentially, I love you for the first week.

Margie:

What it's been how many days now? Three to two days. The baby had the baby had three conversations together. They also fucked. Okay, well, it was. Oh, no, no. Okay, fine. Whatever, whatever level you live, you're on to this with Dino's potatoes. Everybody go back to Episode One.

Rachel:

potatoes, potatoes. So they start like just basically forcing anthem to fight a whole bunch of Dark Fae just to kind of get an idea of his like powers. So they just throw darts at him. And he murders them over and over and over again. And it's like brutal murders. So also I'm pretty sure he's naked this entire time. Because after he turns into a dragon, his clothes don't change with him. So when he turns back, swinging free. He's free balling it. So I'm forced to fight Dark Fae. And it's some point in during this entire time, like he was able to get in contact with like, so there's a bunch of Dragon kings and then there's one like King of kings like the head honcho, he was able to get in contact with them and found where they were so they're coming to rescue him. Right before they showed up to rescue him to they stab the girl or something and son gets kidnapped again. So all right, three levels of kidnapping at this point.

Margie:

Such Inception we're getting deeper into the kidnapping go deep.

Rachel:

But they were they're able to save Devin.

Margie:

She is sure she's shaped like

Rachel:

she's like I gotta go back and get my boyfriend. Where's

Margie:

my boyfriend known

Rachel:

for today's days since knowing Anson three maybe? I think three, three,

Margie:

maybe maybe like three, maybe three and a half. We're pushing for caution when she said she loves clothes.

Rachel:

Yeah, she loves their mates.

Margie:

Well, I think it's okay, so to put to sidetrack a little bit, I think it's made worse because my I was talking to my mom this morning about you know, my life. And she was like, Well, you know, you're like this harder now because you're looking for you know, you're trying to figure out your career. You're trying to move out and you're also looking for a mate and so

Rachel:

no, thank you. That's a terrible choice. So, Anson is taken to the dark fake castle.

Margie:

Oh my god. You know what I just imagine, like your partner's guess.

Rachel:

Again, don't make it still naked. Still.

Margie:

Give the man a pair of pants. No.

Rachel:

You cannot put a cover on his manhood he's such a manly man. Okay.

Margie:

That's like them dragging it just as but like shining like the moon

Rachel:

reball and so they show up to rescue like they they do this whole rescue mission thing like they they go after him. And Devon's like no I'm fucking comment and they're like, What are you doing? You're probably gonna die. She's like, I don't care if she goes okay with Khan. Um, so then concert Wrath of Khan now his name is Constantine. Everyone calls him Khan. Okay whatever um so they are able to kind of like fight their way into the castle essentially anchored to him

Margie:

by the defeat Franken further

Rachel:

they do not actually Ansan breaks out and straight up murders the dude that's been torturing him Well dude has been like really torn because the whole thing so the dragon Things are immortal. Yeah, and their mate quote unquote once they're actually like made it becomes also immortal.

Margie:

Oh she's a mortal now

Rachel:

well she will be she's not yet she will be thoughts come on she's a mortal there's like a ceremony or whatever but um so they You can't kill a dragon king but you can drive them insane and it's happened in the past so they're trying to drive him drive him crazy so they're torturing the hell out of him and but never like they're like we have this new way of torturing that's gonna drive you crazy so quickly and

Margie:

like maybe you made that sound like a bedroom voice with a baby

Rachel:

No, no. Doesn't wrestle my jimmies but you know whatever. So he's like they're torturing the hell out of him but he managed to escape kills that guy and so he special snowstorm turns out so all of the Dragon kings have this like mental link apparently, which is how he was able to contact the king pigs like they can talk to each other. There's States essentially Yeah,

Margie:

so what since eight people

Rachel:

but that's the like, only they can do it. Well turns out for some reason, Anton and Devin can just

Margie:

that there they are a fuck national snowstorm.

Rachel:

So these like he's able to like oh shit, she's here. Also, she's about to get murdered by like 40 Fae that are about to like attack her and so this has happened before I didn't I haven't mentioned it yet. So each of the Dragon kings have like one specific power that like their special power. His is that he can take control of other people's bodies. So like force them to like not their minds, but he like forces them to move or like puppets

Margie:

kind of again, like sensei will grow. Yeah, much creepier.

Rachel:

So he does it with Devin.

Margie:

Oh,

Rachel:

she's well so the reason he doesn't he's like, Okay, you're gonna die. I don't want you to die. So I'm gonna help you fight. So he like takes over and it turns out like she was

Margie:

forcibly do it. No, no, she's

Rachel:

like, completely consoling. Yeah. But

Margie:

I mean, like, usually he can forcibly do Oh, I

Rachel:

hate that so much. It's awful. But it's consensual in this case. So she's like hell she's like, I feel like a badass and cons like what the fuck just happened? Like she just doesn't cool. It's funny. Okay, which this is another a little bit reprisal on Rachel science corner. Do you know how sore she's gonna be the next day? They don't even address it.

Margie:

You know what, they're gonna have so much sex that it's gonna get rid of all the sort of love we're so cynical.

Rachel:

It's accepted. Starts straight up murdering like Fe which is kind of awesome. But she's like, so it's him mostly. And then he answered so when he does this, he straight up passes out. So like he's like, it's like both of them sharing her body essentially, like, okay, not be conscious while doing this for her because it's more than what he normally does. Okay, so he wakes up and he's like, fuck, now she's gonna die. So, but he like runs upstairs finds where they are because he was able to escape and she's fine. She murdered everybody. Oh, good. And he's like, What? She was like, I don't know. I just knew what to do. So special snowstorm she has special heritage, which is why Kyber was interested in

Margie:

Oh my God. Oh, there's gotta be gotta be like something stronger than special snow storm because she's hitting that as a blizzard. Well, even a blizzard? I don't know. We get to come up here and Arctic. Yeah.

Rachel:

There's a pun there somewhere. Yeah, hit us up if you figured it out. But so they're able to escape. Everyone survives, which is great.

Margie:

Hey,

Rachel:

they make it back to Draken want to take a guess on day count? Or four? But guess what? There's soulmates they're gonna be together forever isn't the end of the book well, so there's like some like a debriefing kind of happening and also crazy afterward sex because it's definitely like can move her body or doing something she's never done before. Also

Margie:

remember though now we know she is a special snowflake so she doesn't get she's

Rachel:

apparently way back in her bloodline is like half a warrior half druid.

Margie:

So yeah, who cares? You know what my mom calls our family tree and

Rachel:

they specifically say they're like like it's so diluted it should do nothing for you but for some reason it does we because she's

Margie:

a special snowstorm. God oh my God.

Rachel:

Let it go. Lucky at all. So there's a little bit of like debrief that happens and it kind of so that the book ends with them. They're like, mate ceremony or essentially a wedding, but with like just calling a wedding. But with like five different dragon boys, and they're ladies all human weight, so

Margie:

they're all getting married at the same time, apparently.

Rachel:

So weight is just suddenly got real thirsty for humans. Because this is happening and every single Thursday, which is gonna be a little bit of a problem, because human women cannot bear children, four dragons.

Margie:

Oh no, it's

Rachel:

a thing.

Margie:

So that's like explains that in the book Yeah, if

Rachel:

they meet with a human female, they are ending their line essentially.

Margie:

Holy shit. The Dragons are gonna be like Trey dead here soon. Well, so I didn't really

Rachel:

go and they go into the backstory of the dragons. So this whole thing is like this world used to belong to dragons, right? It's just showed up out of nowhere, no one wanted them. And they're like, Okay, well, we'll protect you because you're small and squishy. And there's nothing you can do. Um, and like humans eventually like, they like take more and more land and more and more land and start killing dragons and like all this stuff. And so finally the dragons like, Well, shit, we still vowed to protect you guys. So we're gonna like they take all of their dragons because only the dragon kings can turn into humans. The other dragons cannot. So they took all the dragon and put them in another world that they currently had. Okay, cross a Dragon Bridge.

Margie:

What the? Okay, fine. All right, we're just gonna cross that bridge, so to speak a

Rachel:

little there's like Dragon Tails or whatever vibe I'm getting. Yeah. And so only the dragon kings remain in this world protects humans, which is really going to Power Ranger dragons

Margie:

essentially.

Rachel:

Okay, going great.

Margie:

Fine. Is there a Power Ranger series where they can turn into dragons or something like that?

Rachel:

I love Power Rangers. But I don't I haven't watched as religiously. I have a friend that I could ask. Maybe I'll put in the show now. Okay, that would be great. Um, yeah. So that's it. They're together forever. And they have crazy sex. I'm sure.

Margie:

Later book they're gonna figure out the children thing. Oh, probably. Yeah, no doubt. And oh, you imagine the same time all those women that are getting pregnant? Oh, god. Wait, what the fuck? This wasn't supposed to happen. Well, the

Rachel:

whole thing is like, trigger warning. Before we go too much deeper into this. We're gonna get into some I don't even know how to say this. pregnancy issues. Yeah, pregnancy is Yeah, would be the way to put it. Yeah. Yeah. So if they do get pregnant, they do not carry the child to term. And if they do carry the child to term it is stillborn. So that's like, okay, that whole thing. I'm sure it'll be figured out later. But dad, yeah. So that that is explicit, because there's this little thing like after they do it for the first time she wakes up and she's like, Oh, fuck, we didn't use protection. He's like, no, no, it's fine. But diseases. But diseases is like so now it's

Margie:

still not okay. Because like, just because, you know, I don't want the pregnancy

Rachel:

really mean like, just because? Well, her thing is like, she's like, I don't want to get pregnant. He's like, Yeah, I cannot get you pregnant.

Margie:

Nobody can still. Yeah, you just told us

Rachel:

that that part's really rare. Like it's okay. Which still could happen, but it still could. I

Margie:

don't know. But

Rachel:

yeah, it was a little weird. But she was like, No, I can't get a break. She's like, but what about diseases who's like non clean? Cuz that's what you do is take their word for it.

Margie:

I haven't dragon baby. It's on Cooley. That's okay. Magic. Magic. That's right. Wizard

Rachel:

did it. Yeah. So

Margie:

they all get wizard deck.

Rachel:

So they all get married at the end. And they had known each other for they knew they were mates after two days.

Margie:

So Rachel, let's lay this out if I one day, so like you don't hear from me for four days, which is already very

Rachel:

assume you were kidnapped. Once your homeboy tried. Your Dragon boy tried to rescue you were kidnapped the second time. And then you were rescued by another dragon boy. But then homeboy got kidnapped again and you had to go save him and you're just really sore. So you're like, waiting? That's what I'm going to instantly assume.

Margie:

No, no, no, you shouldn't. Then I'm going to tell you, I'm going to tell you that whole story. And then I'm going to be like, so then I got married. And you're gonna be like,

Rachel:

and I'm gonna be like, alright, alright, girl. Sex, pretty much like that's okay.

Margie:

Let me tell you about the Dorito Shea.

Rachel:

Because if we're being honest, I would expect nothing less.

Margie:

Oh, God. more from me, I believe. Oh my god.

Rachel:

Yeah, so that was it was an adventure

Margie:

from zero to 100. Like really quick. I feel like so bad

Rachel:

again. I was sick this past week. And I spent all of Thursday morning, sitting my butt on the couch reading through the entirety of this novel. And afterwards, I set it down and was like, Well, that didn't make me feel any better. Oh, I didn't hear my goal.

Margie:

No. Well, you always kind of read this book. And I always feel like there's this other voice in my brain. That's like thinking about other things because it can and it's like

Rachel:

these don't exactly like wire we can amount of mental for know exactly yeah the only sorry was when I was like reading all of the hacking stuff just another

Margie:

one of those things that like they want to make really romantic and TV and books etc

Rachel:

which not everyone can be an expert on everything that's fine and you know for someone that's not me it can they actually had a surprisingly amount like good amount of like like knowledge of metadata which is a natural thing and like stuff I'm like okay, yeah that that is believed they had

Margie:

the basic foundation they just was wrong smattered

Rachel:

it with extras? Yeah, just we're not but

Margie:

she typed really past

Rachel:

your computer screen no black and where it's pop up on it.

Margie:

Please, actually, let's do that to my computer one day. Busy like bitch in your computer.

Rachel:

I'm not even going to begin to go into that.

Margie:

Why that's wrong. Oh, God,

Rachel:

partly because like it's wrong. And it's so much wrong and partly because I don't know enough about it to like, say 100 I know enough about it to be dangerous, but I don't know so much about it. But I'm like, can spew it out as absolute fact. Right? But I'm not even going to begin to go into what I know. It's not not I didn't even bring it in. I'm sorry. The tattoo. Oh, yes. The tattoos his tattoo on his back. Because when you're a Dragon King when you become a dragon, can you get a tattoo? I'm sorry. A tat. She had call it a tattoo. In this book, Oh, I hate that only a tat. But it is a yin and yang. And the thing that really like, got to me was at the end. There's this whole like, he gets real deep and introspective about how it's perfect because you're the yin to my Yang. And their personalities aren't even that deep. Like it's not

Margie:

well, that their personalities are that different or that they don't really have that much personality.

Rachel:

Yes. Okay. Yes, they are both cardboard. They're okay.

Margie:

All right. So now we're starting to be getting towards EU territory. So let's go over the characters

Rachel:

right. Oh, also real quick. When they do get the quote unquote, like married ceremony mate thing. Yeah, she gets a matching tattoo because she says of course Brandon Forever Naturally nap. Oh, God,

Margie:

I hate referring to it in those terms. Like I get I'm like a cat. My back will arch.

Rachel:

Like, oh, God, because almost every single romance novel has to end in either marriage or a baby. We're both we're both Yeah. Yeah. At least declarations of love. Unending.

Margie:

Yeah, actually the last one I read do not have a marriage or a baby. That's fair. That's a it's a did have a declaration of love girl field that she loves.

Rachel:

Yeah, so that was Blaze. A dark kings novel.

Margie:

I love I what's called blaze my favorite pizza place.

Rachel:

What really is what a pizza place?

Margie:

Yeah. Ready to place huh? Oh, it's really good. It's like make your own pizza. And so it's like, a subway

Rachel:

Chicago. Yes. Yes, we did go together.

Margie:

There's one in Cincinnati though. It's like way out there.

Rachel:

There's a place that just opened up called Rapid Fire that reminds me of that. Yeah, it's like I can't remember what it was called. So yeah, I remember going

Margie:

honestly, I love it because I can get gluten free. gluten free

Rachel:

pizza being really good. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So rating time. Get it a little bit into the rating. So he was just real mare. Yeah, all across the board. Yes. Lee like yeah, she she had at least in the beginning a little bit more personality as far as like motivations and stuff. She was a little bit like, oh, woe is me. I can never get a decent man and whatever. Which kind of

Margie:

side of like the first Yeah, my good,

Rachel:

but I did appreciate that. Like, she actually really liked your job and stuff. And like was trying really hard to break into this world that is mostly male dominated. Like I made a point of saying that but it kind of

Margie:

feels like the only personality point that she really had.

Rachel:

Whoa. And it came across as this like something to put in as sort of like a cop out of like, look how great of a character is she is because she's doing specifically this thing that is admirable, whereas everything else about her is cardboard like, yeah, that if you have to explicitly say, she's this great person, because she's breaking the glass ceiling. Like say it but if that's like if the way we if you say it?

Margie:

Yeah, was it right, it doesn't carry the weight. Yeah, not good. Um,

Rachel:

so. So she Yeah, I'd say she was like a two.

Margie:

Okay, that's unfortunate. I know, like

Rachel:

two or three, two

Margie:

of like the the characters were driven by the plot rather than the the, the write. Really? No, no, it's the other way around. It's like the plot we're driving them characters rather than the character driving the Plot

Rachel:

Right? Exactly. There wasn't a lot of character. I mean, I I am more of a fan of character of plot driven books versus story driven versus character driven. Like books that are entirely introspective like all threaded like a character development I kind of get bored with. So I do like a heavy plot. But you got to have some kind of scaffolding there. Yeah, characters from supporting that point. Yes, exactly. Yeah, so it was in romance novel terms. She was probably a two and a half in actual novel term. She was probably a one and not that great. Not strong. He had like, he had a little bit of like as tragic backstory kind of deal but cardboard man, no personality except to be a hunky do honestly

Margie:

like they met and then within 12 hours they were fucking without hardly knowing each other like that. That doesn't put that doesn't speak strongly to their characters. I feel like I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong in that.

Rachel:

I mean, one nightstands are cool. That's fine, but they weren't they were.

Margie:

They were supposed to be like soulmates though. And they're already

Rachel:

what they were doing that. But it wasn't like, Oh, this is a one night stand. It was a oh my god, I love like you're you're so beautiful. And such a great parent, like immediately into the like, you're my soulmate. And like it wasn't a one night stand. It was very.

Margie:

Yeah. And it wasn't, but it wasn't built up that there's something that gets one night stands. But like, don't try to say that this is like something more than a one night stand when you met like six hours ago, if you know, six to 12 hours ago at most Exactly. You know?

Rachel:

Yeah. So it was Yeah. Yeah. Same rating for him, man. Maybe two less, I would say like a two. Solid two.

Margie:

Is it written in both of their perspectives?

Rachel:

Or is just kind of jumps back and forth? Okay. Okay. So which is why he's not lower than a two because that's what I was, like, a little bit of not a lot. And they definitely don't build each other up. Like yes, singularly focused on

Margie:

her. Yeah. And that's the only that's the only thing really, he's got going he's a

Rachel:

hunky dude. That's his. Well, that's all she wanted. So she got it. She got

Margie:

it. She got exactly what you want. I mean, that's a pretty low bar, though.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's a nice guy.

Margie:

I get but that's again,

Rachel:

I knew about his personality. I could say that. But I don't. We talked about this

Margie:

before, though. We're like romance novels. Kind of our, you know, it makes you it makes human decency be a high bar. Right. And that's not that oh, we should go for just being a decent human being doesn't make you a good person. Just means you're not an asshole. Yeah, exactly. Like, surprise, surprise. Everybody out there.

Rachel:

Right. Yeah. So it was I call them in an actual novel scale. He's a one. Yeah, like, yeah, no, I'm saying a range from zero to five. Right? Zero is the lowest of the low, but he's like, a two in romance novel terms and like a one and normal human terms. Okay, but he's a dragon. So he doesn't, you know, play by

Margie:

personalities? Yeah.

Rachel:

And then Gosh, plot is super middle of the road do I would

Margie:

say the plot is only the only like, well, the only the the driving force of the plot is just these two people being kidnapped, which isn't interesting at all.

Rachel:

Well, I will say so this, this is not the first book in the series. Like there's a lot that has happened. And there's there was a lot in like, the background that happened, like small things that were happening, okay. But like, so this whole thing is like, the reason I was interested in them is because a while ago, there was a video leaked that showed one of them transforming, I guess, on the internet and

Margie:

dragons in this guy.

Rachel:

And they're like, Oh, it's a hoax, and like yada yada, but they're like, I bet it's not. And so there's like, that kind of thing. There's some stuff going on with like, the fake courts and everything. So there was a little bit going on with like, in the background. So there was stuff happening, like in the overall world, like as a whole. But as far as like, this book kind of felt like a vessel to get things that are happening in the world out there. Like, their plot didn't really matter. The stuff that was happening because of the like, in from the other book seemed like it was more important, but played a much smaller role. It wasn't just very well written honestly. So like, I don't know, two, two and a half. Okay. Yeah, not. Yeah, not great. Really. Um, I will say so again, last episodes. And I read another one of these books, very similar plod. I don't want to read any more of this series. But I'm also really curious about it.

Margie:

Well, so you're kind of experiencing the same thing that I experienced with the dark Highlander series where it's like, this is a

Rachel:

train wreck. Yeah.

Margie:

You're like, what else is gonna happen in this series? Right? Yeah.

Rachel:

So it was it was a beautiful one great, but it was a book

Margie:

yeah we got let's say this we got the Ruby we got through it

Rachel:

man throw it woof

Margie:

woof

Rachel:

Yeah, but I did I full disclosure I picked this because I read another one in the series and we were doing it such a quick turnaround time and so I like it helped me to have a little bit of my feet under me

Margie:

a little bit of I mean forgot people who had this is their first episode what the last episodes are right that me and Rachel had done practice episodes we recorded a couple to kind of get the feeling feeling of what recording was going to be like how the start we wanted the structure to go however, we have not decided if we are ever going to release those episodes.

Rachel:

Because in case you couldn't tell this was our first podcast. Yeah, this

Margie:

is our first podcast

Rachel:

so you know we wanted to get them

Margie:

they actually are bad episodes they're just like not as

Rachel:

polished Yeah, so maybe we'll do it as a bonus you know something like that someday, but we have you ever asked for them? Yeah, sure. That's fine. We have those in reserve for now. Um, and also God one of those books was just horrible.

Margie:

I don't want to reference it

Rachel:

so bad so Oh God no,

Margie:

you're that later

Rachel:

yeah, so ultimately Blaze not that great of a book I also hate

Margie:

hate hate the title. I just can't I still am but that title really?

Rachel:

Really don't it's just like it hearable Yeah, not great. But got the job done, but it wasn't great. Oh my god, you're right. What dude has been photoshopped into the most striking Dorito shape I thought that like there's like all sorts of again photoshopped flame and sparks on this cover. And I thought that maybe just the sparks recovering up the other half of his like, torso. No,

Margie:

it's almost like anatomically incorrectly key his waist could not hold up that much. That much shoulders like he's

Rachel:

been living in a corset and I only around is but

Margie:

I honestly love broad shouldered guys, but that doesn't even look possible. No, you know, like I love that like Oh, bad that Gibby that Chris Evans shape?

Rachel:

Oh, yeah, no, I enjoyed the Christian. But there's a little bit of like, solidity to that trunk. This one is literally a Dorito

Margie:

Yeah, it's like it's like the the Chris Evans shoulders and then the model waist

Rachel:

like the the Wasp shape from like, Victorian era. Yeah. Okay, so when I put the show notes up, I will be providing both a picture of this book. Yeah, and also a photoshopped picture of this book with a Dorito overlay

Margie:

Well, I wish some of these books that we what we could we could find what this original image was that they because

Rachel:

this is our baby weekly job search that shit.

Margie:

We this is obviously a stock photo. Oh,

Rachel:

give me a gift. You have given me both that question. Because it's like it's

Margie:

like a move that truck thing where before after? Yeah. Like I really I want to know what else they Photoshopped out of there. Like, oh, my

Rachel:

right. It's better than you think.

Margie:

This? Oh, oh. This curve seems so unnatural.

Rachel:

Thinner. I had to like it took looking at it twice. Yes. The curve. Oh, God. I'm like, It's Whoa,

Margie:

that's horrifying. All you have to put this up on your show now. Oh, I

Rachel:

will be overlaying a Dorito on this. Yeah.

Margie:

We do that. We do that. Give it to me. So I can put it on her Instagram. Beautiful. Yeah. Oh, guys. And Margie is the one who is on the gram. So yeah. I'm an engineer and Sean people, dude, every extended every Saturday. I was getting person. I was so persistent. When we became friends. I was like, I'm like, I was like a dog. Like, no, you're gonna be friends with me. So

Rachel:

it worked out? Yeah. It worked out worked out for everybody. Yeah. Yeah. So that is Blaze by Donna grant. Thanks, Donna.

Margie:

So Rachel, now that we're done with that, underwater garbage, garbage fire, what's the episode web guys? What are you reading?

Rachel:

So again, I was great because I was sick. So I read this. And then immediately so when I was looking, I went to the actual physical library and got this book. Yeah. And when I started reading it, I was like, Okay, I'm just gonna do a quick search on the library's app for ebooks. See if there's anything else that looks worse. And so I was like, looking through and I was like, searching for like, historical fiction romance kind of novels, and one popped up that is not a romance novel, but it's historical fiction. It's called A Study in Scarlet women. Right? You

Margie:

were telling me about that? Oh,

Rachel:

my God. So I ended up finishing it. Like, I read two books in less than 48 hours, including this one, right? Let's say yeah, that's what I do. And this one, so it is a retelling of Sherlock Holmes. where Sherlock is a woman. So her name is Charlotte Holmes, and she has created the persona of Sherlock. A dude because she knows that women are not taken seriously in this society. She cannot be an independent woman. So she's like, created this persona. And she's like, Oh, it's my brother. He's very safe in the next room. So I'm sister I will be going back and read. She like, does this whole like charade to like help? It's really good. Like, I picked it up and I'm like, okay, either. This is kind of love Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, we have the complete works of Arthur Conan Doyle, like

Margie:

I've read a lot. I love him. So fun to read. Yeah,

Rachel:

um, because Sherlock such an asshole, which they do a great job of getting across in this woman. It's great. Um, but so it's like, it's, it's a very, it was either going to be terrible, or really good and ended up being super good. And they like, they do a really good job of like, again, a woman in Victorian society. Like she her whole thing is she's like, all she wants in life is like she turns out a bunch of marriage proposals, all she wants in life is to go off and like be the headmaster of a school because she could be your own person. Yeah, her dad's like, Okay, if you make it to 26 without being married, sure, I will pay for that to happen. And he goes back on it. So she's like, all right. This means war. So it's just a really good book. And I picked up the second one, which I'm going to start reading soon. I highly recommend A Study in Scarlet woman. They bring it back to A Study in Scarlet in a really neat way. I think. Like Mary and Scarlet women. Okay. Yeah, really good. So that was, that was good. Yeah. So thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you for listening. Please rate and review us. Yes, we are on iTunes and Stitcher and Buzzsprout Buzzsprout. And Pocket Cast, which I didn't realize because that's the one I use and it's great.

Margie:

All I think about when I hear Pocket Cast is Polly Pocket. Yeah, probably pockets.

Rachel:

It's a really good, it's like three bucks. But I used my Google survey money for it. And

Margie:

honestly, we have no idea how we got on that website. Cuz I did not put us on that website. So we're I don't know why but we're still textual tensions podcast on some of them. Whatever. Really annoying, just search

Rachel:

textual tension and look for the lols Yeah,

Margie:

look for the lips right there my way love you. Um, but rate and review us please, please give us some five stars or Well, actually, don't give us one stars. Just please don't Please don't. Please love us.

Rachel:

Just threaten us in our email, textual tension pod@gmail.com. Yes.

Margie:

Or sending a form through our website textual tension pod.com.

Rachel:

Or reaching out on Instagram at textual tension pod

Margie:

or reaching out

Rachel:

to Bob. Yeah, I was really hoping we could get through that without stripping. It's beautiful. We did it. So hit us up if you have any recommendations if you've read this book and want to tell me about how wonderful it was or how terrible it was. Yeah, I appreciate it. This is totally my opinion. So I want to hear from you guys. Do you have any recommendations for books we should do in the future? Yes,

Margie:

or books that ory on what would be great is if you guys like on the Instagram you could just tag us if you find a really bad Twitter if you found us a really bad bug, right.

Rachel:

Look it up. Yeah. And we have a list on Goodreads also. Yes, books that we have read and books that we want to read. And you can hit us up with a recommendation on there as well. Yeah, super cool.

Margie:

Yes, yeah, yeah, so um, also thanks. Thank you, too. Ayla Nereo for her song.

Rachel:

Oh, love off the album be held. Yes. Great tune.

Margie:

We we really like it and we're grateful to use it. So thank you. Yeah. Um,

Rachel:

well, thank you guys so much for listening. We'll see

Margie:

in a couple of weeks. You'll hear us in a couple of weeks.