Strap in for the most problematic book Rachel and Margie have ever discussed. This week Margie tells Rachel all about Vow to Protect by J.L. Beck and Monica Corwin. A book full of kidnapping, questionable murder choices, and Mafia purges!
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Strap in for the most problematic book Rachel and Margie have ever discussed. This week Margie tells Rachel all about Vow to Protect by J.L. Beck and Monica Corwin. A book full of kidnapping, questionable murder choices, and Mafia purges!
Check out our Instagram : Twitter : Facebook : Goodreads : Website
Hey everyone, it's Margie here. I am jumping in here the beginning of the episode even at the beginning of announcements to tell you, this one is extra special ruff. Unfortunately, it has a lot of themes of domestic abuse and violence. Every time Rachel and I have an episode like this that romanticizes unhealthy, frankly abusive relationships, we really questioned whether we want to do it at all, as it's not even romance at that point. However, due to the fact that it is marketed as romance, we think that these are societal issues that everyone should be aware of. And we feel that it's necessary to cover these books and these topics as to show that these books are really not okay. And please don't romanticize relationships like this. And we obviously do not condone these relationships and think they are gross. If you feel that you're triggered or made uncomfortable by talking about domestic violence, or domestic abuse, just be ready and know that we love you. And we're going to be as loving and transparent as possible about what happens in this book. But we also want you to be able to step away for a week if need be. If you or someone you know is currently trapped in an abusive relationship, please know there's help out there for you. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the hotline org or call one 800 787 safe. What's really cool I noticed on the hotline.org is that they actually have an escape button for you. So if you if you're if someone that you're uncomfortable with enters the room, you can just press escape and the the website will disappear. That being said, this will still be a fun episode. And I promise you will still laugh because this book is bananas. But I just wanted to put that out there so stay safe. We love you. And we're here for you if you need help reach out and enjoy the episode.
Rachel:Hey, well said Margie. I don't think I have really anything to add to that. Except the murders the trigger in this one too. So oh boy. So hey, I will keep this short sweet to the point since Margie handled most of my disclaimers in such Hey, social media, we love to hear from you textual tension pot across the board patreon.com/textual tension if you want to listen to under the covers, which is not about the sex in this one, but equally fun. And or if you want to see us do our annual drunk Halloween episode, which is always a an absolute blast. And the level of alcohol is roughly similar to this episode. And I think that's just about it as far as plugs. So don't worry. I will still give you your romance novel wisdom. I think that's very important. It's important to me anyway. Did you hear about the one mafia boss that that got taken out by that rival rival group? It was really sad. You know, he didn't make it. But it was really fortunate that he was so religious. Because you know, he was a really holy man. But couldn't do it. Hey, y'all, strap in if you made it this far into the episode and continue listening. It is really a fun episode but also just ridiculous. So thank you if you do listen, and if not, hey, go back and listen to last week's always great idea. So yeah, without further ado, here is episode 78. The secret cupcake Oh, tearing me apart from
Margie:rock a love hate relationship with romance novels. I am your co host Margie.
Unknown:And I'm scared.
Margie:Every other week one of us reads a summarizes a romance novel for their unsuspecting co host this week. Unfortunately, that co host was Rhett Rachel. Together we unpack what the fuck just happened the fuck just have to take control here because my life is falling apart because God damn. I swear to God, I have no peace since I read this. Horror. That is why you heard the maniacal laughter at the beginning because this book is the beginning of my tragic backstory, and I already had a tragic backstory
Rachel:I borrowed you just told me it was like wine whiskey all of the liquor bad. So I have a brand new bottle of wine to prepared cocktails half a bottle of whiskey and a secret special. Let's see how long I can last escape route. We'll see.
Margie:They hear and shake my head. And think to myself, it's not.
Rachel:Oh, no. I also have an emotional support cat. It's easier
Margie:fast asleep on the couch. So she is Yeah, well, her best place.
Rachel:Yours is trying to teach you to fend for yourself and it's going poorly.
Margie:is key. All right, so let's just bandaid off right into it. Let's end this bad boy over to you. i
Rachel:I'm super curious. How did you find it?
Margie:How did I Oh, ah. I can't tell you that until I said it to you. Oh, this is the document. That's weird. I don't know why I did that. Oh, yeah. I can't tell you that until I said that to you. To give away too much. I want a clean response to this. Oh, no.
Unknown:There you go. Okay.
Rachel:Wait, do we know J L back? Like we know them? I feel like we might be. Oh, no. Okay. When I click on the picture, it immediately goes to the front. I gotta scroll up. Okay. Yeah, I know. I noticed hold. Yeah, vow to protect which sends red flags already from USA Today. Bestselling author J L back. Oh, and New York Times bestselling author Monica core. Right. Cool. So is it two books or is it just one written by two people
Margie:written by two? Okay, so it did a bad job. They should.
Rachel:So together they're not quite one author. Um, so it's black and white. It's just a dude. And I admit doesn't do it for me. Oh, he told my for me. Really? It's not? No. He's not rugged enough. It's so he's like lounging in a leather chair. shirt button up shirt open to his belt, but it's still tucked in. And there's best as open and I have to say if I didn't see that he had a necklace. I would think he was just playing with one of his nipples. But in the center of his chest
Margie:or the center of his chest.
Rachel:You know, we all have we all have our crosses to bear. His is a third nipple
Margie:wearing a best and I will say yes his neck. It's extremely wide. It is a very large neck.
Rachel:It's sick. It's like don't get me wrong. The from like the neck down. He's kind of a butterface honestly, in my opinion, because like his body like rockin his face in
Margie:our face. I do think that if he shaved that little bit of like chisel whatever that is five o'clock shadow that he had 10 o'clock Jetta that he had to be a total butterface total butterface
Rachel:Yeah, and I don't like the the the the beard is like an attempted a beard. Like it's just not my thing. Yeah, I prefer either more. I'm more of a goatee girl myself. Or a full beard. Those are the choices. It also so vow to protect looks like it's in like, gold foil. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's hella Italian, though.
Margie:Yeah. Well, yes. No. The book.
Unknown:Oh, yeah. Okay, well check.
Rachel:Oh, interesting. Yeah, well, there's my prejudice. Great. So it is vowed to protect a dark mafia arranged merits marriage romance. And that's a great start. Yeah, so let's get oh, if you scroll down, it's in color. Oh, I
Unknown:didn't notice that. Vatta protect she needs
Rachel:a favor. There's only one thing I want in return her but the way it's written. It sounds like it should be. There's only one thing I want her in return.
Margie:Yeah, well, that's the wrong either.
Rachel:Wait, is that the description of the book? Oh, no. Here just Yeah, we're good. I got it. Oh, it's not very No, it's not very long. Marty is this 365 dni?
Margie:No.
Rachel:Okay. They call me a monster. Murderous and hateful, beautiful, but broken. At least he knows he's pretty. Nothing can calm the ever raging storm inside of me.
Margie:Wake me up as the
Rachel:need to be reading this in a grittier voice. Sure. That's the ruthless leader. Okay, can
Unknown:you do it again? The Dow back okay.
Rachel:The Dalbec family do back to back I don't know There's a certain standard of brutality I have to uphold. That's its own sin. Okay? Do you need her? Do you have to uphold beautiful, beautiful, innocent, and so very afraid? Valentina is a rival families daughter and the temptress has purposely tangled herself in my dark web. She seeks me out, needing my help, but the price for what she wants will be Sleep, sleep, not sleep.
Unknown:Oh, surprise, Sleeping Beauty.
Rachel:Since my father's death, I've needed a wife to solidify my family's name, and this woman has piqued my interest. So we strike a deal intertwining our futures, I'll put a ring on her finger, own her body, keep her safe and kill them all. I'll make a vow to protect her at all costs. That is until her secrets come to light and I'm left with the choice of becoming the monster she's only ever heard rumors about. Asterix Asterix This is a dark arranged marriage mafia romance it contains dub con, non con, as well as other scenes that may be triggering to some reason.
Margie:I don't know what dub, dub con and non con let's
Rachel:look non conventional. dubiously conventional, that's my guess maybe?
Margie:I hope so. Cuz I was thinking non consensual. Oh, oh, no, I
Rachel:think it might actually be dubious consent. non consensual. Oh, good. Good.
Margie:You know what? That might be the first one where there was a trigger warning, even before we open the book, and I didn't notice it.
Rachel:We've had other trigger warnings, but that one is. I get it. Sometimes. It's people's kinks. Don't mark it. It is Roman. For young
Unknown:children, they
Margie:say so however, there are also I wasn't even one of the things that I was upset about what this book. Oh, how? It's
Rachel:not great. Good. And I will also say like, we had to look up what that meant. I didn't I wouldn't have known. I don't know. Okay, great. Good. Fantastic.
Margie:Oh, that just makes Hey, Margie.
Rachel:Yeah, let's the triggers, please.
Margie:Yeah, we should get it to that. Okay.
Rachel:And then tell me how you found this fucking book.
Margie:Oh, I'll just tell you how I found it. Listeners I am. How do I put this I don't want to say a loser but a slot for dark romance. And I was like, I need something come on. Give me that good Rudy. broody. And I like found this book. I was like, great. It's on Kindle Unlimited. So for me, it's, you know, I'm already paying for it. And then I started reading it and I was like, I was I. Oh, oh. No, I was I kept thinking in my brain. I was like, oh, it's like watching a train wreck. It is like watching it. That was like a true crime drama.
Rachel:I won't lie even like, I want something terrible like that. Because I want to be angry at something. I it's a great excuse to be angry.
Margie:Listen, I have almost a week away from I'm a week almost a week away from being 30 and I just wanted something to like scratch that romance itch and just the right way this didn't do it. Alright, that's how you go
Rachel:back and read go back and reread dark Islander. That'll do it.
Margie:Oh, you think I have it? I want to prejudice like four times. Okay. Also fair. You probably already figured this out. This episode is gonna be fucking wild because I just I'm dead to the world anyway. Alright, good. Um, yeah. pedophilia.
Rachel:Oh, yeah, boy words coming out of the gate strong.
Margie:Sexual Assault, physical assault, horrible abuse, human trafficking, male chauvinism. Just a general attitude that men quote unquote blog to weapon. There was a lot of that. Kidnapping is the Stockholm Syndrome.
Rachel:Z men belong to women part not what I expected. Oh, yeah. A lot of that. Like those. I expected the other way around. Oh, women are property.
Margie:Yes. Women belong to men. I
Rachel:read that wrong. Oh, okay. That makes way more sense than male chauvinism
Margie:that women belong to men. Okay, yeah, it makes me I hate it. Okay. Women belong to men. Should I really those again?
Rachel:Oh, no, it's fine. I have to say, um, pedophilia, not what I expected. It's kind of like the mafia, one that I read that had insist that you weren't expected, right?
Margie:Well, it's reference because one of the families like, does shit like that? And it's great. It's good.
Rachel:But Marty that's how you know they're worse than our main care. Right,
Margie:right. Right.
Unknown:They learned that from her. Okay,
Rachel:we learned that from 365 DNR. Right, right. Exactly.
Margie:Just mafia. Me All right, you're ready for this.
Unknown:I am now. Alright, so
Margie:I'm going to introduce our characters. Sweet little bit. Valentina Novak. She's the daughter of one of and Rachel, Rachel, get a game. I need you to quickly name a fictional city because I'm 99% Certain this book doesn't name the actual town.
Rachel:Oh, okay. Um, we're gonna call it Charles Burg.
Margie:She's the daughter of one of Charles Berg's biggest mafia families. Charles Charles Berg. The darkness of Charles Burke.
Rachel:The most evil man ever Steven.
Margie:Her father is the head of the Novak family and is determined to marry are off to one of his business associates named Sal. Now Sal is a disgusting piece of moldy paper that was left out on a beach covered in seagulls who all just got over a super bird flu Oh,
Rachel:you know I picture him perfectly in my mind.
Margie:Oh, or or Eric Trump, like whichever.
Rachel:Yeah, that was what I was picturing in my mind I was that that was right right. That was right. Back Good. Great.
Margie:Fantastic you know I say that though but I hate all of the men in this like I hate I hate them all. Your all our girls got pale skin dark curly hair is curvy. But also tiny. Of course attracts Yeah, yeah, she's petite and she's i She's over 18 But under 20 That is the age that I get.
Unknown:Yeah,
Rachel:sorry. I split the difference and say 19 fairly legal if you will call it jailbait she's jailbait
Margie:alright so then we got Adrian Dewback he runs another mafia family in Rachel, what's the town's name? Charles Barry Jarlsberg. That's right. And he is maybe less evil than Sal and her father. He does have a reputation for be like way more evil though. So Oh good. Yeah, good. Um, I don't they get lessened is like business get out. They don't talk about what I actually does to make money. First
Rachel:rule about fight club.
Margie:Don't talk about fight club. He's got curly dark hair is ripped from years of cage fighting his cage while schrager.
Rachel:Margie, were so insane. Wow. simpatico.
Margie:And he's around 15 years older than her.
Unknown:Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. Fantastic. Yeah. Okay, girl.
Margie:I was really upset by that. So
Unknown:it's not the first time.
Margie:No, I know. All right. So we got our characters. We open up this boat. Okay, I just had to make it out. Do you notice how dead I am? And
Unknown:yes, yes, I do. It doesn't make it great. All right.
Margie:We got our characters we opened up to Valentina. She is getting ready for a mafia quote unquote society party, I want you to imagine bridgerton with guns.
Rachel:Oh, I would have loved Richerson like, wow, I'd watch that shit.
Margie:Party is to quote unquote, open the season, also known as well also known as what I'm calling the mafia purge, okay, you know, just mafia things.
Rachel:Just hashtag just mafia things.
Margie:So basically, it's the time of the year where the different mafias can take bets against each other plan wars and battles take over territory and kill each other and the other mafia clans will just look away.
Rachel:It's so nice that they set aside time to have that bonding moment. Because you know, like, you know, it's like honestly, if we look at history, it's like the Middle Ages and all those knights just didn't have enough to do and they sent them on the Crusades right was like this is your time going burn off some steam. This is the time everyone needs village right? Yeah, exactly.
Margie:So So going back to our story where the season is opening up We're the police. knows the police are just getting drunk up in Gotham I guess anyway.
Rachel:I probably being paid off. Oh, they
Margie:are. They are like they totally are it's
Rachel:um it's mafia, Berry web it season mafia season web
Unknown:it sees the same joke.
Margie:I'm glad that you said it. Okay, good now I mean, I feel like I don't need to specify this but the mafia in this book makes absolutely no goddamn sense. It would not exist in our world. I don't care how much you wish that somehow an ALPA Chino mafia for the 20s or from would somehow magically transport itself to the modern day no it don't it don't it don't it don't we have mafias they are different now get over it. They're just as gross. They're just different. They don't do they don't do mafia purchase and I'm certain they didn't do mafia purges back then.
Rachel:I'm pretty sure they're open to killing someone, any time of year, any
Margie:type of years to kill someone if you just believe in yourself.
Unknown:The most wonderful time of the year anyway.
Margie:So val is going to this opening season party with her best friend and cousin Rose and her quote unquote fiance Sal. Sal is palling both of them on the way there in the car because he is a pervert, and it's disgusting. And he Oh, good. He's also threatening to hurt them if they embarrass him that night, which has happened before but you know, Oh, good. Great. Yeah, it's good. It's great. It's fine. The party is being hosted at a quote unquote neutral hotel by ADRIAN Adrian does not want to host this party. He doesn't even want to be there. But he is looking for something that everyone hopes to find it the purge. Love, love. Wow. JK he's looking for I look for.
Rachel:Oh, I was gonna say that's where I look for love. And oh, wait,
Margie:wait, wait, wait, what is that live? We felt love the most like, inconvenient place or something like that. In the
Unknown:middle of the day. We all had buddy masks on and
Rachel:we didn't know who we were. But it happened. Anyway. He
Margie:so Adrienne spots Val would she arrives it does not recognize her doesn't know who she is. But it's like, immediately like, oh, yeah, I'm into that shit. So valen rows are disappointed by the party. They're like, kind of hoping it would be like, you know, classy bump in Oh, no, no, they're hoping it would be like they were hoping that, you know, like, cool and, but it's but everyone there is literally just getting drunk and high. So they both retreat briefly to the bathroom. And when Val comes out on her own, she she like practically walks and Adrian who was escorting someone else out who behaved very inappropriately. He's like, get that here. And she, when she's so she's very shy to me, Adrian because he's handsome. He's much older than her. She is, you know, literally being beaten in her own home. So she probably has some trauma with interacting with men. Because she's been by men in her own home. Yeah, okay, you're right over there. I need to be able to see your face. I need to see your eyes here I'm putting
Rachel:thank you for warning me to come into this cynical because I needed that armor. Oh, oh, survive. It's
Margie:gonna fucking destroy Oh, here we go. Okay, great. So, ah, he so would she's very shy coming up out of the bathroom. To meet him, he does something he probably will do. I want to say between seven and 12 times in this book, which is take a finger and lift up her chin to look at him
Rachel:which well, you know, like an animal.
Margie:Oh, we'll get into that. Yeah, yeah, cuz you know, the men owning women thing. You know, like an animal. Yeah, yeah.
Rachel:I, you know, of all the things I prepped something to throw was not one of them.
Unknown:What was I thinking
Margie:keep drinking. Keep drinking. So they talk a little bit about the party of course, and of course their sexual chemistry. And, and he's textual. decides like, he likes her because she's honest. Never mind she's pretty plating.
Rachel:Yeah, I was gonna say see complaining honesty with innocence. And she's no she's nice. She
Margie:genuinely honest. She says something about the person who's being like, escorted out. And she's like, Yeah, that I mean that person that purse so that what that person did was they grabbed Adrian by the genitals just in the middle of the party. And he was like, oh, no, you need to leave. And she's like, Yeah, someone had done that too. We I probably would have kicked about two buddies like, oh, okay,
Rachel:well, you know, I too can discern a person's entire personality from a single offhand comment counter. I'm glad that we share that superpower. Right, right. Right. And Adrian. So no, I'm not comparing myself to Adrian.
Margie:No, don't he? So Adrienne gives her his business card and says like, Hey, if you ever need anything at all, just give me a call.
Unknown:Like, we're all good relationships store.
Margie:Exactly. Just Rachel just mafia things.
Rachel:Just hashtag just mafia things. I'm moving on to liquor keep going. All right.
Margie:So um, so he kisses her on the lake takes her hand, he kisses her on the knuckles, which I will admit I do love not in this book, but everywhere else I find it very romantic. So whatever. Sue me. All right, when Rose follows Val out of the bathroom she's like, so she's row sees this whole interaction between Adrian and Val, and she's in roses, like, stay the fuck away from that guy. I mean, I know who we're with is bad, but he's like, worse. So he's dangerous. Stay away from him. And oh, good vows, like, I'm okay. But he was like, actually a gentleman with me and like, treated me with a little bit of respect, which is literally like, her level of respect that this girl's gotten it. The bar is at the tectonic plate level.
Rachel:Honestly, it's really sad. Oh, it's like she does not have a good
Margie:Oh, no, she's the only good relationship she has relations with Rose. Her father, her father. I think I'm like the first five pages her father says that she's dressed like a whore. Or a slut.
Rachel:Can I make a bet and say that when she gets with Adrienne, he prevents her from seeing rose.
Margie:Okay, so we're gonna go on with the story. Okay, so unfortunately, Sal saw the exchange between Val and Adrian. And immediately upon, so they're Val, Val, Sal, and rose are all leaving the party. And the moment the elevator door closes. Sal, backhands Val across his face, and when they get into the limo, he hits her hard enough to make her blackout. Yeah, yeah, no.
Unknown:Oh, no, no, no, no. All right.
Margie:And then later that week, Sal rapes Rose. It's disgusting. And I won't get into it. But for valve, this is a breaking point. Yeah, I mean, it's gross. It's really gross. We switched to Adrian who was decided, alright, Val is mine. I'm gonna make her my wife.
Unknown:My life
Margie:always says he's like, alright, I saw her I liked her. I'm gonna make her my wife. That's it. Um, the like. The like I said before the shaman is chauvinism, chauvinism, chauvinism? chauvinism, chauvinism in this book, or, or the idea of men owning women is just staggering and nauseating. It just happens all the time. During sex, outside of sex during business deals.
Rachel:Look, if it's consensual, I like a dominant man. Yeah. And sex. Yeah, great. Right. Fantastic. If it's consensual, yeah. And the person has the other person has agency.
Margie:All right. Yeah. And the other person is agency. That's right. So um, Adrian is already making moves and plans to take down valves father is the head of his particular family because he wants to marry bow knees. Like the only way to be able to do that is by taking down here her father.
Rachel:Yeah, I mean, that's how you get a spouse. Right. That's how I got that. Yeah, I took down his father.
Margie:Um, so his team. Well, so Adrian's team honestly isn't thrilled with this. But they're also like, Hey, we've sworn leadership to this guy. So what are we gonna do?
Unknown:At least they're, they're loyal. Sure. Um,
Margie:why can't Yeah, good thing. All right. Now, back to Val has come up with a plan. She called she did call Adrienne for help. And he was like, Okay, I will help you. Okay, meet me at this place. And we'll talk and we'll, you know, it's because she asked us like, I need to talk to you about something she has, I think that she thinks that they're hurt. The phone that she's calling on is being listened to, or something like that. So she's like, okay, so she's like, I need to ask you for something and he's like, just come meet me. So she gets dressed to the nines. Because just mafia things just mafia
Rachel:mafia they got to put on your armor whatever armor you have, right in this case that's what Yeah, right.
Margie:That's true. She sneaks out of the house while her father and Salar away and she gets into a cab and goes to a cage fight that he is invited her to
Rachel:off romance.
Margie:Romantic. When she when she gets there, she's escorted to a back private office where she meets Adrienne. After a lot of sexual energy is expelled into the air, you know? Yeah,
Unknown:just Blair. Just
Margie:pheromone. Everywhere. So Val tells Adrian what she wants. She wants Adrian to kill Sal, her fiance.
Rachel:Okay, that's a jump. That's a huge jump from like, oh, from like, I would like to get away from this man. I feel like that's the logical thing, right? Not Hey, could you discreetly just do a murder for me? Please?
Margie:Loki do a murder. Listen, listen, Adrian. Adrian. Adrian. How much Dateline Have you watched?
Rachel:Watch Dexter. Can we work something out? Are you a basic bitch because I am and I think we can work on something.
Margie:Okay, listen to the podcast morbid. Listen, right. It's Listen, like I could do this.
Rachel:I bought the places to fuck, literally like, granted, she grew up in the mafia. Maybe it's all she knows. But like, jump to I want to get away from this person. Not, hey, go fuck this guy. Oh, by that. I mean, kill him
Margie:to have that conversation because I did want to have it in this book about the getting away. Like, I did not understand why she didn't just leave her father and sow because it wrote I get why? Well, I get why No, let me rephrase that. I understand why she did not leave. However, Rose has come up to her and said, Let's please leave you and me together. Let's do this together. I have enough money and we can just go and we can leave for light.
Rachel:Yeah, I feel like the fear Yes. Is the factor in that case. Because like, if you are a daughter of a mafia boss and you just eat, they're not going to just let you eat. They're going to come after you. That's true. Like no matter what you do, so I get I get that I get why because she's absolutely not in a position to just leave. That's so I I just I just imagine like if I Okay, go to another mob boss, but be like, get me away from this man. I don't know. I don't know. I will
Margie:make her decision coming up in the next few pages. All right. Oh, great. Yeah. So um, so she wants Adrienne to kill Sal, her fiance. And Adrienne is like, okay, but I have to make sure if you're really sincere about this. So take off all of your clothes strip.
Rachel:I will take things that don't go together for 500 elega. Yeah, yeah.
Margie:So when we switch to his perspective, like right on that next page, in his head, he is thinking, I don't know if asking her to strip as a test for her or a test for myself. Ie his self control.
Rachel:Oh, yeah. So he's super down for rape. Good. Great, fantastic.
Margie:She is understandably terrified because, you know, like I said before, she's been beaten her whole life. So she's understandably terrified. And he, you know, comforts her by saying, look, it's not rape if you're already wet for me. But don't worry, I'm not going to touch just look right now.
Rachel:Oh, okay. Oh, okay. No, actually, no. No, I do not have the time. Nor the crayons to explain to you why basic biological processes do not indicate consent. All right. Yep. Okay, louder. For the people in the back. I want that fucking t shirt. But then fuck you, Adrian. Jesus.
Margie:Yep. Yep. She does she agree. She takes off all her clothes, crying while she does it. And he sees all of the abuse that she's been subjected to because she's covered in bruises. And he gets angry at it because he's like, Who the fuck is going to and
Rachel:I'm gonna while while going out on a limb. She thinks she's that he's angry at her. Yes.
Margie:Don't even eat my cupcake.
Unknown:Good morning,
Margie:I will tell you when you can eat
Unknown:me, why are you cupcake edging me? Because
Rachel:it's the worst. It's like it's horse. Betsy, come here worse. You've been screaming at me and I need
Margie:you. Um, so for coming, he is still determined to have her and you know, he would he? He, he's acting like in his brain. He's like, he, he's, he's in reality. He's an animal. But he thinks that he's like, like, the husband and the Addams Family. what's that guy's name? Yeah. So he thinks that he's so he. He behaves like just an animal but he thinks he's a Gomez.
Rachel:Gomez is an ally. Yeah. Adrian is a day. Yeah.
Margie:Like I said, He's an animal so
Rachel:and the fuck boy Ray.
Margie:And I quote, I back her up against the table caging her body in with mine without touching. She's naked. Yeah. Without touching the skin on display. I will say this. I think she's still wearing her underwear. Oh, good. Great does.
Unknown:That makes it okay, I
Margie:leaned down my fist, my fist beside her hips and stop owning inches from her lush pout. You gain your freedom from sow, but you become mine in return. You should know I'm not easy, man. I won't force you to do anything you don't want. But I expect this choice willingly. That you come to it willingly. Which according to him means. Right? Right, right. It means when you come to me, then you'll be mine in every way. You can tell me when you don't like something or you disagree, but I won't accept anything less than obedience and you're willing participation. You will be along to me and you will be treated like the angel you are. I have other means to kit to get my way that don't involve putting bruises on your body. Just need a sip of wine after that listeners. Donate your cupcake yet.
Unknown:Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Rachel:He just contradicted himself within like three sentences of I won't force you to do anything but also I expect full obedience. Right? to, to. Um, he just threatened abuse. Just not physical. Right. And I'm going to bet there's going to be some physical Yeah, y'all. Physical abuse isn't the only kind of how would you
Margie:know, a more physical abuse? Oh, you're
Unknown:so far it's that super power. But it's by no,
Margie:it's the eighth sets to go like
Unknown:this. The other one? What's the other two?
Rachel:No, the eighth is the third. The third? Well, Reimer right, third, additional one. So I just wanted from experience and I'm always open about this. I am a child of abuse. My stepdad was abusive, and he I don't think was physically abusive to me, but he was very emotionally immature. And like, verbally abusive. There are more kinds of abuse my friends,
Margie:more than one wow, collect the ball Pokemon.
Unknown:Gotta catch you. Oh, so true.
Margie:It makes you have a great sense of humor. Right. All right. So Val, Val tells Adrian. I'm going to think about this. I need to go back to Rose and tell her about this so that we can make a decision together because this also involves her if you're taking me like she is and it's a harem. Yeah, exactly. Right. That's exactly what I was thinking. But I'm like, It's more just kind of like, if you take me she has to be safe, too. You have to be keeping her safe. And he agrees to this. He's like, Okay, call me in few days. But he's in his mind saying like, Oh, no, she blogs me like,
Rachel:oh, shoot my dogs, but just in case call me beat me whenever you want to reach me.
Margie:That was amazing. Call me. Call me when you need to call me in the morning. I'll be on my way.
Rachel:No, don't even dare compare this mental illness.
Margie:It's true. It's true. He doesn't deserve not accepted. does not deserve that. Alright, so here's the thing though. She never calls. Unfortunately. Sal caught Val as she was coming back in sketti. Oh, um, he grabs Val by the hair in. Disclaimer, disclaimer.
Rachel:Hey, maybe skip forward like 30 seconds or a minute. Yes, cool.
Margie:Absolutely. If if physical, physical and sexual assault makes you uncomfy please skip through for about 30 seconds. We're gonna I'm gonna make this as quick as possible. because it's do it stupid. So he viciously physically assaults her like, and unfortunately, roses already unconscious on the ground when this happens due to him beating the shit out of her first. Sal then ties Val naked to her own bed. Rapes rose in front of Val and then kills rose. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Rachel:If you're just coming back from skipping for 30 seconds. Rose is now dead. Don't ask why.
Margie:So and I just have a note here that. Yes. This is supposed to be a fucking romance. And this
Unknown:is hate murders a trigger? Well, we've
Margie:said physical so well, yeah, I shouldn't say, the amount of detail in the scene for a romance novel for how much like, I don't think that romance readers are expecting this much detail. And it was really hard to have this and it was really just gross. Like, it's just like, like, like a really bad taste in my mouth. I kept waiting for this book better. You know, like by the book where I'm like, Oh, wow. Like
Rachel:this is the lowest of the low. It's gonna go up from here.
Unknown:Exactly. And yeah, did it.
Rachel:It didn't I I've read books, not romance novels. I've read like mysteries or like, you know, thrillers or whatever. We're like, Yeah, she gets fucking real. And it's like, you have this moment of oh my god or holy shit, right, whatever this is, but this is a forum and
Margie:the disclaimer in the Amazon ad said dubious consent. It did not know that this is not that
Rachel:this is said non consensual, but also not great. Yeah,
Margie:it's just gross. And like
Rachel:this is have a thriller that has gritty like, real shit in it. And thriller, a side plot romance that's like, oh, yeah, he gets the girl in the end or whatever. But it's like, it's not the focus. In this case. It's the focus, right? That's not okay. Right. It's not no, no. Yeah, no. Yep. i i Both obviously, I hate episodes like this. But also I love it just because this is the reason we do the podcast. Yeah. And I feel really passionate about that. You laid
Margie:into words better than I can to have like, No, this is not okay. Not that I didn't know that. It was okay. Because it absolutely wasn't. But like I'm like, so emotional about it. I'm just like, oh, Mike.
Rachel:So mild disclaimer, margin. i The reason we're friends is because we are in exact opposite sides of the emotional spectrum. She's very emotional. I'm very not I struggle with emotion. So when I'm presented with something like this, like, yeah, it's fucking bad. And I hate it. But I can I can. I my brain goes into Logic mode aggressively, and I just analyze it and it's not. Yeah, essentially on it's not okay.
Margie:It wasn't okay.
Unknown:Exactly. Like
Rachel:morals and emotions are very different things.
Margie:So yeah, all right. It's okay. Sal actually just leaves then after he, you know, fucking murders rose. And he's like,
Rachel:Angel, I would have expected him
Margie:to rape her as I know, I have to admit, I know. Yeah. And later on in the book, but now she has to be mentioned that a little
Rachel:bit. Because she has to be pure for Adrienne. Right?
Margie:And so he's like, and I Sallows kind of sounds kind of thinking like, this is gonna be torture. So he's like, um, so you're tied to this bed. Just enjoy laying here and I'll have this cleaned up and I'll see you when I see you. And he just leaves. Yeah, so meanwhile, and I want to say it's been two or three days later.
Rachel:She's still tied to the bed. Yes. Okay. Yeah. This has gone past it was never okay. Yes. Has gone past right. Oh, god.
Margie:Yeah. Yeah. So now, Adrian is getting impatient. He's like, why isn't Val called me? Now you can eat your cup of cheese.
Rachel:Okay, because he's very upset too. Is this like the worst?
Margie:I want to say putting the cupcake back down. Okay. You know that that was the worst for me. I'll say that. That was the worst part.
Rachel:Um, well, then I'm going to take a bite. Okay. And we'll see forever.
Margie:So he hasn't so Adrienne obviously has not heard from Val and he's concerned because he knows that her father is on a business trip her father has been in New York while this is all gone on. And all the staff at the like manner that she lives in just left after this violence happened because they were so afraid of Sal. They just straight up left her fair, fair. They also left late also with a dead body. Yeah, the fuck yeah, just the fun It's just like on both sides. Like I don't blame those people, but I'm also just like, oh my god,
Rachel:um, if you like books that aren't this bad, but still us being drunk while we do it, maybe check out some of our seasonal episodes. Yeah, Patreon is Halloween is the annual drunk episode. Okay, and the books are not bad, fun usually.
Margie:Well, the one about the pat on the cover
Unknown:was so good. So good.
Margie:It was so funny.
Unknown:are really drunk,
Margie:keep going. Alright, so um, Adrian knows that Val's father's on a business trip. And so she he knows that she's basically alone with sow her, you know, other abuser. And Adrian has had had some recon reconnaissance. I like saying that word done on her house, and the info tells him that no one has been inside the house since she got there. And that it's been empty and quiet for the past few days. And she has not left. And he's like, You know what, fuck it. I can't get anything done. I can't get any work done. So, and she's gonna be my wife anyway. So let's just go kidnapper. Like that's his thought process. I think that I want Oh, God, maybe I don't know what this means to say about me. But like, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say like, he was a little bit concerned about her. But it's mostly like,
Rachel:I It's so we joke a lot about how the bar is so low that literally anything like you could step over it. In this case, like the author, I feel treebo break? No, yeah, the author tried to make the bad guy so bad, that whatever the fuck he did was okay, and it's still not okay, but comparatively good. It's true that a lot of romance novel authors do that when they want to justify and quote unquote, alpha male, it's like, it's the same concept as humans have relative temperature sensing. So if you put an ice cube on your hand, and then put something that's like lukewarm, it's gonna feel really hot to you. Because that's just how humans work. And you can leverage that to do a lot of like, humans are weird that way. But that's what they're trying to do is they're leveraging that sort of relative thing that humans just have. It's not good. No, but it's what happened right?
Margie:All right. So great. He goes to the house well, they go to the house because it goes with this team, of course, and it's been Jays day since the attack, and valleys still she's shitting herself on the bed is shedding herself on this bed. And she's still being naked and bloody bad joke, but literally Naked and Afraid.
Rachel:Mom has been watching that show so much lately and keeps telling me about it. That is uniquely relevant to my situation. And I hate it thank you
Margie:the way the author describes it, she is not long for this world. Now listeners, I want you guys to know that I read this in I think less than a week. I don't know when it's you know, easily. Yeah, you read it in like two day I did. And so I wanted to ask a medical professional about Yes, but I did not have time.
Rachel:So the rule is three hours without shelter. Three days without water, three weeks without food.
Margie:And must so I think she was clear
Rachel:with this. She was She obviously had shelter, but he probably wasn't giving her water. No, no, it was probably pretty fucking close. She so because if especially if she's a smaller humans, three days is like, I mean, that's like an easy mnemonic kind of thing. Like 333 Yeah, but if she's a really small human, and she's trapped, pissing and shitting where she's like, laying this is something you would expect from a fucking true crime. Some Yep, like, Yep, this is demented as shit. Yep. Yep. Yeah, she would be she would be not long for this. Is that point just from dehydration? All right.
Margie:So Adrienne finds her. And it's like, that was kind of the point of the book. Were I love a good rescuing. I do. I do. I love rescuing. Yes. A Adrian finds her at her place and is like, Holy fuck, and is fairly Yeah, obviously very concerned, but also very angry. You know?
Rachel:Those two emotions I feel are justified in this particular instance,
Margie:I'm done. He takes her back to his place, specifically his bed. Which seems like if you live in like a super swanky penthouse, you have a guest bedroom, but like,
Rachel:just I'm an advocate. I'm gonna play devil's advocate if he is so supposedly we've had relationships that last two days before. If he is so head over heels for her or at least in such a way If like she believes he is, quote, unquote, hers at this point, I don't think he would be satisfied with her not being as close to him as possible for him to take care of, or at least have watched
Margie:different. She can be in a different room and are in his own place.
Rachel:Yeah. Take your perspective. Like I fully Yeah. Oh, it's not great. I'm not saying it's great. But I will say like, this is obviously not in any way the same because I've been with Zack for 11 years at this point, and it's very different. But like, yeah, I would be in the same room as my husband if something was wrong all the time, because I want to make sure he was okay. I'm not saying he's in love with her. He's obviously no, he sees her as an object. But that's maybe I'm stretching you or I'm devil's advocate.
Margie:Advocating and, but I do understand where you're coming from of like, if this was yeah, this was a married couple who had known each other for years. Yeah, yes. Like you would bring her. But they don't. She's never been to his home.
Rachel:But it's my job to I feel like playing us playing devil's advocate for each other legitimizes a lot of what we do, and that's important that there's my attempt at Devil's advocate.
Margie:So right, um, tried, he hires a doctor to take care of her and she's unconscious. Good. Poor thing is unconscious for
Unknown:a week. Yeah, probably should be in a hospital, but okay. Yeah, but she is a doctor spine. No, right. Right. It's
Margie:fine. Now just mafia. Thanks.
Rachel:I hope you guys can hear the sarcasm and
Margie:Juliet gives her sponge baths. She's gonna need more than that, because he likes it and it calms him down. Oh, sorry, was she the one injured yet is still there just for you. Not for her happiness and well being. Adrienne, meanwhile, is unconscious and frustrated at the slowness of her recovery. So he's like yelling at the doctor. Well, he's yelling he's frustrate. I will say this devil's advocate. He's not frustrated. At her. He's telling the doctor like, what do we need to do? Like what needs to happen? natural processes make? What needs to happen to get her conscious guess she doesn't even remember who I am. And the doctors like, Dude, you need to fucking chill. While she's been through here, and the doctor is like, yeah, it's because she's has extreme trauma from what she's been through. Like, you need to be patient. Can you do that? So, um, but Rachel, don't worry, Rachel just put a cupcake into her mouth. So I'm just gonna plow ahead. Hey, Oh, hold on. Okay. So she wakes up. Yay. But because of her trauma, she doesn't remember anything yet. And she's at first when she first sees Asier and she's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, like, a man in the room. I'm terrified. Like, what is happening? And he's like, chill out. Lay down. You're safe. You're fine. You're okay. You're getting better. I promise you're safe.
Unknown:You are saved your shit safe.
Margie:Or, which is Oh, whoa. Bucking bar. Yeah, um, and so he's like, do you remember what happened to you? She says no. And he's and pretty much she but she's like, I know that Sal must have done this. I know that this link I must be here because it's something that sounded so there. I I have to go you understand when she learns that rose? I know. Oh, that's I know. I'm sad now. And she's like, Oh, that's her next thought. It's like oh my god rose rose. I have to get back to rose like she's must be in so much trouble because I mean, she tries to get a baton. He's like, hold the phone. I hold was
Unknown:those
Rachel:was rows there when he got there? Or Rosalie route?
Margie:No, he did not clear out the body. Her body was just sitting there for days.
Unknown:Holy shit.
Margie:Okay, her body still there. Awful. Awful. Yeah, she's Yeah, rice, which is like I just think on Okay, let's talk also, writing wise. Roses. Death was stupid. It was unnecessary, completely unnecessary, especially considering that at the beginning of the book, you know, I mean, I'm not. I guess I'm saying that Rose's character wasn't. He was about at the same level as everyone else. So I'm just kind of like, why? It's just so unnecessary. It's just so
Rachel:necessary. This is not a good basis for relationships. This
Margie:is this is not a good basis for a relationship like this was not needed. A what it wasn't needed at all. And I felt and I feel like if you kept rose in the story, and especially since it rose at the beginning of the story was kind of like you need to not trust him. If Rose is like walking along like a sideways path with or sideways like walking alongside Val and like was becoming friends with Adrian at the same time, like that would have legitimize their relationship and also would have been solely like me. Yeah, like, hey,
Rachel:but like speaking from the emotionless side of things were like, Yeah, he does some shit. But if you have a second character there that's like, takes the place of the reader who's like, oh, but I'm becoming friends with him so I can empathize with him. That legitimizes him as a character, right? Even if he's a shitty person, it's still not good. It's still not great at all, but it does, like it almost forces you to empathize with him instead of just like, nope, she's gone. Fuck. He
Margie:says the relationship or reinforces the character. Adrian's character even if you like, don't get shit. I'm sorry. Like, I shouldn't say this. But like, even if you consider Rosa throwaway character, she can reinforce Adrienne to make him seem like a better person to Exactly, yeah, she throw away anyway. Um, so, but she's like, Well, we had a deal. Like, I guess technically you own me. So she opens her legs for him. Ah, let that hang there for a second slit that simmer? No, no. So and he's like, and I will say in his defense, he's like, double knot devil's advocate. But like, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We are going to, like, we are going to do this. But we're not doing this. Now. We're not doing it until you're comfortable.
Rachel:Okay, and also, like, not straight off of horrific trauma. Yeah,
Margie:the bar is at the tectonic plate. Anyway.
Rachel:I would argue the grid gravitational center of the Earth shit is literally orbiting around this fucking bar.
Margie:I can get behind that you know better about it than more about it than I do. Anyways, properly baits are like in a tub. Oh, good. Yeah, like washes her hair for her. And it's like, Okay, what's the best way to wash it like, and she's and she's explaining things to him. I'm doing this. I'm telling you about this because I'm like,
Unknown:I'm the only
Rachel:mildly like, okay, yeah, kind of situation. This entire,
Margie:he puts her back in his bed and she insists on sleeping with her with on his sleeping with her. So he does not to sleep in a chair. There are plenty of other beds
Rachel:and also like, I could see not wanting to be alone. It's not but also not. Okay, well, yeah, keep going.
Margie:So he gets in the bed with her. And then in order for him to quote unquote, keep his control. He has her give him a hand job all right to your face. Rachel, it's just like, there was like this moment her dying inside. Just like the cynicism I came after. So let me just make this note. Yeah, not raping someone isn't quote unquote, control. Are you constantly keeping yourself from putting your dick and ship? Your dick is not a mob going after light. It's his job to keep a cap on your sexual urges.
Rachel:I would also argue that forcing someone to give you a handjob is rape.
Unknown:Yeah, that's true. It is. Yeah.
Margie:I don't Well, yeah. And that's where the dubious consent comes in. Because she because it's like well, you're not gonna at least you won't put it in my vagina.
Rachel:Well, least you won't murder my literal only good family member. Yeah.
Margie:So after so, after a week of being in bed and having him you know, take care of her hand and foot and her taking care of him in hand. The doctor finally gives Adrienne a clean bill of health I say gives Adrienne a clean bill of health because the doctor doesn't speak to Val. Just Adrian, you know, like a cat doesn't speak to a veterinarian. Yeah. So let's so, you know, the doctor is moral enough to ask Valentino whether she is okay with getting chips or not. Again, you know, like a dog or a cat at the vet.
Rachel:collaborated listen, you sent me a quote from this book involving quote unquote tracking chips. more upset right now that I've eaten all of my cup. What actually is not a strong enough word? What?
Margie:Rachel is the only way he can keep her safe?
Rachel:Hey, do you have GPS on a phones thing? Oh, she's Oh, right. That would be too much agency give her a fucking smartwatch.
Margie:It does give her a phone later in the book. And she's like, wow, really? I guess. So. So, you know, again, you know, like a dog or a cat at the vet. She gets chipped. And when she gets a little skittish I getting chipped. Adrian is like, Hey, you agree to me mine. This was your choice.
Rachel:Okay, Mister, I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want I just screamed so loud that Fitzy left my lap because she's so upset at what the fuck is happening right now? I'm sorry. If he if men are not allowed to tell whether or not a woman can use fucking birth control or get an abortion or get a hysterectomy than men also can't put a literal tracking chip inside a woman's arm. Okay, I'm done.
Margie:That was beautiful. I want that. Oh, my. I want that on my phone.
Unknown:Just Cross Stitch.
Margie:Yes. My birthday next week get to work now. She gets chips. And then he's like, guess what? We're getting married soon. Yeah, keep finishing that drink. And the meantime he keeps her in bed as much as possible to quote unquote heal, but also to keep her confined so she doesn't make a run for it. Alright, so life goes back to normal. Whatever the fuck normal is to these people?
Unknown:What is normal? Yeah, no, no,
Margie:no, no, no. Excuse me. I skipped the he marries her. Um, yeah, right. Normal that night. He does expect vaginal penetrative sex, and is pretty damn upset that she's like, Look, I just can't do it. upsetting and he is upset enough that he knocks a lamp off the table. Don't worry, though. He stays quote unquote, in control. Because he has her she has her perform oral sex on him. Yeah. It's fine. It's not fine. It's absolutely not fine. I'm just dying inside people. Um, life goes back to normal or whatever the fuck it means to these people. But you're married. Yay. Adrian is concerned. Because if he wait, question, I know
Rachel:they had vaginal cells, or he just made her do or just made her do or I say just, I don't mean,
Margie:they know. They did not. They did not have vaginal sex. Gray makes it sound like it's this big sacrifice. And like for him like what it was? Like, the thing that really got me about that scene was that he was like, she was like, I really I can't I just can't and he's like, it's our wedding night. Huh? Okay, you know, but just mafia things. Unless you know, a hymens meet a lots of Mafia as apparently.
Unknown:Good. Well, yeah, presenting the sheets and all day. Exactly.
Margie:Adrian is concerned because if he doesn't get Sal turned up and murdered as per their agreement, then technically Val can walk out on him because he wouldn't have performed as part of their contract. And since they hadn't had penetrative sex, either. Technically, she couldn't know the marriage and have the backing of Mafia Council.
Rachel:And she's definitely not too afraid to do that.
Margie:Definitely not. So Adrian tells his top five I'm assuming the top five and his phone plan as well.
Rachel:His ice content in case of emergency
Margie:cricket, so to offer to offer sales associates money to turn Sal over to him. But then Val walks into the quote unquote command center, not an office, a command center. So Val comes into the quote unquote command center and tells the whole group like do not give Salvan money. He is a pedophile. He is a freak, he will give it to two resources. Some places that will make more people suffer. I don't want that to happen.
Unknown:I mean, fair, fair. Yeah. Right.
Margie:Um, so but now Adrienne is angry. She just Oh,
Rachel:yeah, because she has actually displayed agency How
Margie:dare she just interrupted him and his quote unquote command center. So she needs to be punished. So, which is oral sex performed on her?
Unknown:By him? Yes. Oh, well, you know, could have been. No,
Margie:no, no. All right. So this relationship continues. She doesn't leave the house. He keeps looking for Sal. And they slowly inch their way towards sex. Well, I say slowly, slowly for him. She's really struggling psychologically with everything that has happened to her.
Rachel:Hey, cliquish. Yeah, he maybe understood that. Treating the physical is just as important as treating the mental and maybe gotten her therapy. No. Oh, right. No, sorry. It's a thorough dare I assume.
Margie:Ah, no, I think that the author does try to make it seem like he's being patient. But it comes off as if we're not gonna have sex and you're just gonna have to sate me in some other sexual way. It's hard to explain but the author tried the author's try to back off and make him seem softer, and it's too fucking late. Like it's too late. Like he's already just yet. Alright. And during this time of them just living together getting to know each other and him trying to find Sal, we also hear about their quote unquote tragic backstories Rachel.
Unknown:Ready. tragic enough for you? Oh,
Margie:Rachel. Guess why? It's everyone's favorite game show. Guess the story.
Rachel:Oh, his parents died.
Margie:No, no, no, I have three options for you. And you. Okay. Hey, Adrian's mother wasn't assassin who was supposed to supposed to kill bow without a sudden change of heart and disappeared instead. Valve parents were killed by different assassin who turned out to be Adrian's evil twin.
Rachel:Oh, but wait, her dad was on a trip and we haven't heard back from him so maybe
Margie:be Adria. Adrian's mother killed Val's mother, and then Val's father killed Adrian's mother in revenge.
Rachel:Wow, that was C that was B or B. B. So the first one is that Adrian's mother was an assassin that was supposed to kill Val but instead killed her father
Margie:but had a change of heart and disappeared change
Unknown:that heart. Okay, but her
Margie:parents were killed by a different assassin who turned out to be a twin.
Rachel:Okay, okay. And then the second one was continued remind me Adrian's a
Margie:mother and killed a Val's mother and then Val's father killed Adrian's mother in revenge.
Unknown:Okay, all right. Okay.
Margie:See, Adrian's house mysteriously caught on fire when his mother was sleeping, taking Xanax with alcohol. The firefighters got him out. Him meaning Adrian, but not his mother, Val's mother, the nurse who cared for Adrienne in the hospital, but was killed because she quote unquote, knew too much.
Rachel:I feel like if it was see he would have way more of a vendetta against firefighters. Yeah, so. No, again, we haven't heard from her from her father. And also her mother has never come up in this entire thing. Mm hmm. So i Huh. B was, I'm sorry, I apparently can't No,
Margie:no, this is very all very
Rachel:confusing. Yes, say B again.
Margie:Adrian's mother killed Val's mother and then Val's father killed Adrian's mother in revenge.
Rachel:I feel like it's that one
Margie:thing they mean you are correct. So
Rachel:is it sadness? I think it said so.
Margie:I just want to say that it's it's not explicitly stated that this happens, but it's like, highly, highly, highly beating down on you that this is what happens. The only thing that I don't know is that the to like one woman killed the other woman and it's like, yeah, that's what fucking happened. It's not like a big secret. Alright. So thanks. And it's weird and there's some dialogue about Adrian's bother that I have to share with you. I know this episode is too long, but fuck it. Yes, she was a wonderful woman and I loved her. She used to have this bright red scarf wool and it was so old and ragged that bits of it were clumped together and nodded. She loved that thing so much. I remember thinking when I was a boy, that that I hoped one that one day I would find something I love as much as my mother love that scarf. Val. That is lovely. She sounds like an amazing person I wish I could have met so they're like reminiscing about their parents and how they died and none of them are putting the clues together to see like, hey, maybe both of our loved ones are involved with these murders. All right, we're almost done. I swear to god Great. All right, so despite not having me killed Salya Adrian decides it's time to present Val Val to the mafia high society as his wife it is now the end of a purge season so it's time to for another party. Seems like it should be a funeral. But you know, just mafia things. Just mafia things. So they go to this party, they guess wedding rings on their fingers and Adrian goes off for a moment leaving his girl seemingly well protected to talk to a friend about finding out Nope, we're going 11th hour kidnapping now, Margie Damn it in that interview and I'll use the ladies room and bumps into a girl who was like hey a little bit she's still my man. Pretty sure this book doesn't pass the Bechdel Test. We're just reading through this all right, whatever that girl doesn't really matter what does matter into the story she does matter as a person she does not matter to the story. Anyway, what does matter is that she is not a with Val, which means like hashtag I'm with her locks valve in the ladies room with Sal. Luckily, Valve managed to manages to fight sell off until as Bondo arrives who Re and so Adrienne gets her back home. They speak in private and now this poor girl is so traumatized by both of these horrifying relationships that she thinks that Adrian let Sally attack her because she hasn't fulfilled her part of the deal yet, ie sex. And when he says no, that's not the case. I guess angry about it. I'm pretty sure he gets angry. I can't remember because I drug. She's like, Oh, okay, that's how you what you were doing. If that's the case, I'm ready to have sex.
Rachel:There are not enough walls around me to start beating my fucking
Margie:head. Yes, it Yeah, just keep
Rachel:moving. There's nothing. I'm okay. I don't know what to do anymore. Just keep going.
Margie:It's like it's fine. No one ever say it's fine. It's fine. It's not okay. It's no good. And the sex like I was reading another romance novel recently, because I fucking needed to and the sex was so much better. All right. Uh,
Rachel:yeah. So he has his friend. I'll give the summary. He has his friend watching her. She goes to the bathroom. This other chick walks her in the bathroom with salt. Yeah, creepy murder guy. And he when he saves her, blames his friend. Yeah, cuz that's logical. All right,
Unknown:good. All right, so
Margie:we're gonna fast track through the end of this book because I'm about ready to die. Alright, so Adrian finally find Sal and tortures him before murdering him. And so I was like, Okay, fine, but just FYI, your wife knows what happened to your mother. But Sal, Sal is dead. So like, sort of yay. Great. Yeah. Good. And then Adrian and Val are having sex and why it's like, my property. So if you betray me, I would kill you. Guess what she recalls right after she finds out she's pregnant that her dad killed Adrian's mom the end, right? Yeah, she's pregnant. Yeah, and
Rachel:I'm so upset. I'm so upset. We're not gonna.
Margie:I'm just gonna go ahead and say when I know that
Rachel:we're not fucking writing this book. We're not is there something worse than a fuck boy? That's my instead of writing, let's discuss if there's anything worse than fuck, but so okay. For listeners who are not, who do not have not experienced maybe new people who have not Yeah,
Margie:I realized we haven't done this scale scale in a while since the last week. When we had Amanda on
Rachel:he. Yeah, so here is our scale. So we obviously rate the two heroines from a scale of one to five, the plot from one to five, the sex from one to five and the overall book from one to 10. In addition to that, and sort of I guess in conjunction with that, we have a scale that is the homeboy to our boys game. A homeboy is a major asshole. Just the worst gets the worst. And I'm our boy. Right and our boy is a cinnamon roll that we love in between that is just the boy it's a sliding scale. Yes, I'm sorry. So there are two extremes to the scale. So the homeboy our boy scale was the original. It has been extended to the fuck boy cinnamon roll scale. So a fuck boy is the worst of the worst. a cinnamon roll is the best of the best in between that it goes fuck boy homeboy, boy our boy cinnamon roll those are kind of the steps is there something worse than a fuck boy
Margie:are you know if you Adrian are or are you referring to Sal Sal in particular
Rachel:however if we do not you and I cannot come up with something that is worse than a fuck boy. I do leave it up to our list I would if you guys want to let us know what you think is worse than a fuck boy. I would be very interested in knowing because I think that this man transcends fuck boy. Well this man, literally sell. Adrian is a fuckboys Sal is beyond fuck boy.
Margie:Sal though, from the like, from my perspective of having read the book. He's a literary device. He's not really a character. He's not a true human being is the problem
Rachel:like no is useless as a human novel.
Margie:It would he his character would be written in a way that was like much more interesting and like rounded out. And so like even though you didn't understand, you'd be like, Oh, okay, like He's a psychopath.
Rachel:I think because it's a romance novel. You don't want to empathize with him right? you instead want to use him as a reference frame for the he's still a hole boy and I would argue bordering on fuck boy, but that's
Margie:why I kind of want to throw him out the window though because he's not even yes there. That's what I'm saying is like he's there for a literary device. He's not there. He's there for comparison. Yeah, he's not there for any sort of like, like romantic gratification other than what he does for Adrian's character. And because Adrian's character if you took out Sal Adrian would be way creepier.
Rachel:Yeah, I you know what, I think that's totally fair. I think that in lieu of writing this book, I think that we just on the home the fuckboys cinnamon rolls scale. Adrienne is a fuck boy. He's fat boy, you can agree on 1,000%. Absolutely. And that is the only rating we're going to do for this. Because it's that bad. It's so bad. Hey, if you made it this far,
Margie:oh, my God. Bless.
Rachel:I'm so proud of us. I hope that you have had as much alcohol as Margie and I have because I don't think honestly at this point. Anyone that's made it this far. I don't think you would have if you weren't drinking like we were,
Margie:you know, just mafia thing. I'm so tired. Can I kind of end the show now?
Rachel:Please? Hey, only after we thank Eleanor you for the use of personal love of the LBL world. The only only thing we have to do and just the other I'm sorry. One of the only things the other thing that we have to do. There's two things. The other thing is to thank our listeners. Yeah. Because we love you. And we're, we're here for you are and if you if you love us being drunk, check out our Patreon Yeah, okay.