The Weight of Words | Toni Britton - ListenUp Podcast

Some stories aren’t meant to be told once; they’re meant to be lived, spoken, and reshaped until the truth inside them finally lands. That’s where we go with poet Tony B, whose book Runaway Home charts a fierce, tender path through grief, reinvention, and the power of choosing your own voice. We start with the line that won’t leave her alone—“I write because I don’t know what else to do”—and follow it from midwestern roots to a thousand-mile drive toward the Atlantic with nothing but a car, $4,000, and conviction.

Tony opens up about losing her husband and father, pouring love into a restaurant that ultimately failed, and rediscovering her craft during the stillness of COVID. She explains how writing helps her process what she’s learned, while performance functions like confession, turning poems into actions. Together we unpack the structure of Runaway Home—family, relationships, grief, and the title section—threaded with acceptance, forgiveness, healing, and love. We talk about the difference between happiness and joy, why the ocean became a place to be rather than do, and how she learned to cancel old “subscriptions” to beliefs that didn’t honor her life.

This conversation is raw, grounded, and filled with lines you’ll carry. You’ll hear how agency grows when we own our choices without denying what’s been done to us, how a voice becomes clearer when it’s spoken aloud, and why place matters when it resets your rhythm. If you’ve ever felt the pull to start over, to reframe your story, or to find home inside yourself, Tony’s journey will meet you where you are. Stream now, share it with someone who needs courage for a leap, and if it resonates, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what belief are you canceling next?

Transcript

Meet Tony B And Her Poetic Voice

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Okay. You hear me well? Okay. All right. Hello everyone. I'm Al Neely. Welcome to Listen Up Podcast. And today we have Arthur. Uh Tony B. Let's start over. Okay. Hello, everyone. I'm Al Neely. Welcome to Listen Up Podcast. And today we have Arthur, Tony B. She's a poet, and she's written a book called Run Away Home. Tony is a resident of Virginia Beach, and she came here through the Midwest. And in her book, she talks about uh just different areas and periods of her life. And it's an amazing book. It's all done in a poetic um narrative. And I love that about the book. So it's so creative. But if you met her, that's exactly how she is. So the book is exactly how Tony is. So tell us, Tony, why do you write?

SPEAKER_01 1:17

It's something I've always done. Um it's just been a part of my life forever. But more recently, I did write a small poem to explain that. And I I don't think I can say it any better than I did in that poem. And it goes like this. I don't write for the stage. I don't write for the page. I don't write to make you feel any kind of way. I write because I don't know what else to do. To give voice to the spaces in my life where I was mute, to make sense of the equations that didn't compute, to understand where the lies became my truth. I write, I write, I write. And from what I can tell, I've got a lot more writing to do.

SPEAKER_03 2:10

Oh, that's fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Okay. Your book.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:17

Runaway Home. Yes. The inspiration for it. And then I just want to talk about things that were inspiring you uh through your life to write about the book. So let's just start with the inspiration for the book.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Uh I've like I said, I have always been a writer.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

Yes.

From Loss To Manuscript: Finding The Theme

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Um, I did not always aspire to write a book, but my husband passed away, and I had all of this experience that I didn't know what to do with, and the idea came to me to put it in a book because writing is my purest form of communication and processing. It's how I process life. Um, the original book I thought I was going to write is not this book. The title is the same, the underlying theme is the same. But the content is not the same as what I originally thought I was going to write. Um, what I learned is that I couldn't write about us, my husband and I. It took too much supposition. I could not be a voice for him because I was not him. We were us, but I was not him. And so I had to eventually find my own voice before I could put the book together. And in doing so, I also had to get to a place where not only did I have my voice, but I had an understanding of my choices. And this is the underlying theme of this book is healing. It's my journey of healing to the point that this book took me. And in order to do that, the I had to learn that I had to accept my role in all of the things that happened in my life and my choices within them. So there's acknowledging, yes, this happened, and this is how I accepted it at the time. And now that I have more experience, I can see it differently. Okay. So then it's not always I often say about my book, it's my truth, but it's not the truth. Because for every other person involved in any of these situations, they have a whole different truth. And it is just as valid. But a lot of the things I learned, I learned in childhood.

SPEAKER_06 5:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

When you learn things at the age of four and eight and eighteen, you learn them with the capacity that you have at the time.

SPEAKER_03 5:57

Right. So when did your uh your husband is not with us? Right. Uh when did he pass?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

He passed away June 11, 2008.

SPEAKER_03 6:10

Wow. Okay. Yes. And um you started writing the book when?

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Well, the concept for the book started to form in 2009, the title, the underlying theme. Um, it wasn't until I got to Virginia Beach and started performing my poetry on stages and had a community to work within that the actual structure took place. I met um James Wilson of Whiter Perspective Publishing.

SPEAKER_05 6:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:49

We call him Teach.

SPEAKER_05 6:51

Yeah.

Midwest Roots And Not Fitting The Mold

SPEAKER_01 6:51

And we sat down and he said, I see your poetry in these different things. These, and when he said that, I was like, oh, I know exactly how to put this together now.

SPEAKER_05 7:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

So it was the four sections family, relationships, grief, and then the title section, Runaway Home. And it has an underlying theme of acceptance, forgiveness, healing, and love, which I'm still working on all of it.

unknown 7:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

It's a lifelong journey.

SPEAKER_03 7:25

Absolutely. We all we we are grow. So you came from the Midwest? Yes. And where exactly?

SPEAKER_01 7:33

I'm born and raised in Northwest Ohio. Okay. Williams County was my first home.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

What was that like? And how long were you there?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Um It was a different time.

SPEAKER_04 7:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

So we're talking about uh 70s, 80s. Yeah. It was a different time. So life was much simpler in some ways. Yeah. There was uh I I grew up in a small town and graduated from the same high school my mother did.

SPEAKER_06 8:12

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

So there was you you knew your neighbors, you looked out for one another. Yeah. If you did something wrong, your parents were going to find out because they worked like that. Yeah. Um, but also we we just we had a freedom that is no longer part of society, as I I can see.

SPEAKER_03 8:41

Yeah. There was a little bit of innocence back then. Yes, there was.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

Um, there's so much information available to everybody now that you know we had to consult an encyclopedia or wait or you know, there's there's pluses and minuses to both of them. Yeah. Um, but it's a place that gave me structure.

SPEAKER_06 9:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

But also a place I didn't fit, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

You talk about that in the book. I talk about that in the book, yes. So you didn't fit. Obviously, all of these things inspired you to uh write. Yes. Um what when did you actually leave and come to the Virginia Beach area?

SPEAKER_01 9:37

Well, I came to Virginia Beach in 2020.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Really? Yes. Wow. So that was uh 12 years after your um husband had passed, right? 11? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 9:52

So fill us in from that time.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Well, there's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

What was your journey like?

SPEAKER_01 10:03

It's hard to put into just a few words. I'm gonna try very hard.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

Right. Um after my And then talk about how that inspired you with the book itself. Yes.

Reinvention, Grief, And The Restaurant

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yes. Um, so after my husband died, my um my father was diagnosed with cancer. Oh my. And so I had a season, and I was not I didn't was not at all prepared for any of that. And then in 2013, my father passed. And so my foundation was shaken. I reinvented myself first. Uh, I opened a restaurant and I put all the love that I didn't have a place to put into food.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Yeah. Um that's something I think we often do when we run into tragedy and mourning. We have to take ourselves out of the situation and then put it in something that we can feel like uh we're part of, right? That's right. And you lost a lot.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

I lost a lot.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Um, but you know, I we all have losses.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Right.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

It's no more or less.

SPEAKER_03 11:30

That's the importance of someone reading the book. That's right. Right. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

That's I think that's the appeal of the book, is that it's it's reachable. Yeah. You know, it's it's human. Um but um after my restaurant, I lost everything with my restaurant, which also meant I lost my husband again because everything that I put into it, he left me. And I lost that all I lost everything.

SPEAKER_03 12:01

And was that your ultimate, you, your, your guys' plan, ultimate goal to do that, or oh no.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

No, no, no, no. That was he he was far, far more sensible.

SPEAKER_03 12:15

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:16

I'm I'm the risk taker. And um I bet on myself, and I am so grateful that I did. Yes, it was such a beautiful experience in so many ways. Um I I don't have a regret there, right? I just have a learning there, and I'm continuing to learn from it, which is great. And then I relocated to Northwest Indiana, where my husband was from. And I got a job in a restaurant I worked at as a saute cook.

SPEAKER_03 12:54

And oh, so that's something you didn't share with you can cook, huh?

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Uh I did. I I I mean, I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

And so I was working there when uh we closed for COVID, and then I was off work for three and a half months, me and the rest of the world.

SPEAKER_06 13:16

Yes.

The COVID Pause And A Thousand-Mile Drive

SPEAKER_01 13:17

And the I had time, and I started writing again, and I was reading and I was writing, and I was listening, which I hadn't had time to do or given myself time to do. And I ended up, I had a piece that I wrote while I was in Indiana. It's in the book, and when I started writing it, I only had one line. I did not know where it was going to take me. And the one line was there once was a girl who didn't know her own strength. And by the time I got done writing that piece, I was in tears. I was just sobbing. And I knew I could no longer stay there. I had to go. So I got rid of everything that didn't fit in my car, that I couldn't lift by myself. I drove a thousand miles from Gary, Indiana, to be by the ocean. I didn't know anybody, I didn't have a job, I didn't have a place to live. I had$4,000 of COVID unemployment to my name. And I rolled up on the beach and I said, I don't have a reservation and I need a room. And they said, How long are you staying with us? I said, I have no idea. I don't know. And now it's been just over five years. It was August 11, 2020, when I pulled up. And now I have this book. I have my own space to live finally after having to be with other people while I rebuild. And I have absolutely no idea where it's taking me. I just know that if I show up and I respond in kind, then everything's going to be okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:24

Right. And that's what you live by every day.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 15:29

So where would you say you are with your well-being? I mean, when did you start? Don't let first of all let me start. When did you start with the the spoken poetry? Um, because you do perform, right? So when did you start with that?

SPEAKER_01 15:48

I met a performer and I had shared a piece that's not in the book. Uh it's called Blank Page. And just a little snippet of you say I didn't ask for this, son. No one ever did. This life is a precious gift. So what you gonna do with it? No one has to be here then again. Maybe we did, but here we are together, time to learn and time to live. You've got your own blank page, son. How you gonna fill it? Stories do not write themselves, you've got to go and live it. Yeah, I shared that, and then I was encouraged to get on a stage, and I'm like, who wants to hear this? I mean, it's just me doing my thing. But I found that the venue on 35th Street, they had a stage for me.

unknown 16:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

And their um their slogan is all are welcome who come in peace. And the first poem that I ever performed on stage is in the book, and it's called The F-Word.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Oh, okay. Let's just talk about that.

Building A Life By The Ocean

SPEAKER_01 17:05

And it was great because uh the last feature I did uh it was also at the venue on 35th. Okay, and I did that, I said the first poem I did on the stage was this poem, and I did that poem, and then I explained that that poem was monumental in my healing process, and it also allowed me to dig deeper into some of the things that I ingested as truth that maybe weren't, um, and allowed me to write a lot of other poems to work through some of the things that I believed as a younger person, and had me look at them with experience and maybe a little more kindness and accept my role in all of that. And then I said the greatest thing I can say about that poem is I don't need it anymore.

SPEAKER_03 18:19

So it was for that particular period in your life?

SPEAKER_01 18:22

So, well, for me, the writing is how I'm processing what I think I've learned.

SPEAKER_06 18:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

The performing is confessing.

SPEAKER_06 18:36

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

And once I've performed it to the point where it actually takes root and action, I don't need to perform it anymore. It's done its job for me, and this is my healing journey, so that's what I'm doing with it.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

Yes. So did the poetry come first, or did the book come first, or was it all tied at the same time?

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Was it poetry's been part of my life as long as I can remember?

SPEAKER_03 19:09

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

I do not remember a time of not writing.

SPEAKER_06 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

I mean, that's a and it's in my family too. My my mother's father was a poet. My I have several um aunts that are they are no longer, but they wrote some beautiful poems. Uh, there's a lot of music in my family, there's a lot of creativity in my family. So I mean, I come by honestly, um, but it's just rooted in who I am. So the book. This is this is just a few. I have so many that some I haven't even shared because that takes a vulnerability as well. You know, when there are different kinds of writers. Um, my Instagram tag is raw data blogger.

SPEAKER_06 20:17

Okay.

Stage Work: Performance As Confession

SPEAKER_01 20:18

Because that's what my writing is. It's my raw data. There are some writers who are far more articulate and far more um technical in their writing. They can do some beautiful things. I'm not I'm not that person. Yeah, well, but mine is authentic.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

I think your art is sort of like your signature.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 20:49

You know, so um when I listen to a drummer, I can tell who's drumming after hearing them for a few sessions. I I can tell you who exactly who is. So anything you do with art is just an expression of yourself. And uh it's difficult for you to try to compare yourself to other people. You couldn't. Because it's an expression of who you are. Right. Right? So your book is exactly an expression of who you are during each one of those periods in in your life. That's right. Right. So it's um it's very interesting. Yeah. Thank you. So but anyway. So um it took you, you started the book. It took a while to write the book, right? You I I don't I think people don't realize sometimes you you go away from it. You start it and then you go away. How long did it take?

SPEAKER_01 21:44

I don't think that people who aren't who have other ways of expression, right. I don't think they're auto automatically understand the creative process. Right. The creative process is not defined, and you can't force it. You have to allow it, and it comes in waves. There will be times where you just write, right, right, right, right, right, right, because you've just got to get it out. And there are times where you have to reflect, reflect, reflect, reflect. And it's just not a defined process. So, like I said, the initial idea for runaway home came to me in 2009. I I made the statement, I'm gonna write a book. It's gonna be called Runaway Home. And then life and work and change and lack of I mean, I started writing that book, I still have that start. It was going to be a memoir. But that's not my voice. My voice is this, and until I had clarity, once I I had written some of these poems and performed some of these poems, and then sat down with the publisher, and Teach said, I keep hearing you, and they fall into these categories. Once I had the categories, family, relationship, grief, and runaway home, then I knew how to pull it together. Then I knew which poems to include. And then it came together fairly quickly. But until I had the clarity of the design, I was just writing a bunch of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

Yeah. The title, how'd you come out with that?

Raw Data Writing And Finding Structure

SPEAKER_01 24:03

I I don't I'm not really certain. It just I I when I don't know, I have to say it was divine. Okay. Because running a lot of people would look at my departure from the Midwest and say I was just running away. That's okay. Um, but I was running two, and the ocean is something I've always known I had to be near.

SPEAKER_03 24:42

Why is that?

SPEAKER_01 24:43

I don't know. I remember just being young, I was, I don't know, six, and I knew I saw a picture of myself as an adult on the East Coast by the ocean. I'd never seen the ocean, I didn't know anything about the ocean. It is something in me that I just knew that I needed. And I denied that for a long time because life happened elsewhere. And when I finally had the time to breathe and to choose, I said I can't ignore myself anymore. So for me, home is not necessarily a place. People ask me, how do you like Virginia Peach? I I don't know. I live here, yes, but I live here because the ocean. Because the ocean. And home that I'm looking for is right here, no matter what the city is called. It's finding self and becoming. Once in therapy, I was given a line that I revert to often. You are a human being, not a human doing. And I needed the ocean to be.

SPEAKER_03 26:37

Sometimes I have calm you down and get you in a state of mind that you want to create.

SPEAKER_01 26:44

The ocean will reset you.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

Okay. That's what it does for you. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

If you just sit there and listen to it and get into rhythm with that, yeah, it will just center you.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

Okay.

Runaway Home: Sections And Themes

SPEAKER_01 26:57

So we gotta I don't require being right at the ocean to write, because you know, sand and paper and wind, and you know, yeah. But um I find that the inspiration for writing comes in the moments where something is said or done or thought, and it's like, oh, you know, those aha moments of uh oh, I didn't recognize that before. I gotta process this. Sometimes it's gotten to the point where I'll have some coworkers, I'll say something, and they're like, it's a it's a poem coming there, isn't it? Like, I think so. I think I have to work through this. Yes. You know, so it's it's reprocessing things that you thought you knew. Yes. And you did. But we learn everything deeper. With more experience, we learn it in new levels. That's the whole scales off the eyelids thing, you know. You you know something, but you don't know it to the depth that you're going to know it.

SPEAKER_06 28:04

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

And the writing helps me get the depth that I might have been missing.

SPEAKER_03 28:11

That's interesting. Very interesting. So now we're gonna have people that are in the Midwest, in the middle of the country, listening to this and be like, oh man, I gotta get to the ocean.

SPEAKER_01 28:20

No, I I I own my I own my journey. Yeah, I needed to be by the ocean. Some people need the mountain, some people need the desert. You know, we're all different, yeah, and that's okay, but the journey we're on is a deeply personal one that overlaps, and so it's the listening to that still small voice inside, and it's incredibly difficult to do because we have all of this exterior noise to sift through, you know. This is what success looks like, this is what you need to have to be happy. This is I can tell you you don't need anything to be happy. I can tell you that because I've had everything and nothing.

SPEAKER_03 29:27

And so what makes you happy today?

Choosing Place, Choosing Self, Choosing Joy

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Happiness. So I distinguish between happiness and joy. I have I have joy in my heart. And happiness is more of an emotion. Joy is more of a way of being. Um there are things that will contribute to your happiness, and that's great. Most often the real happiness, the real joy comes from the connections you make with other human beings. And being grateful for the journey. You know, there's there's something. My husband died of cancer. My husband died in my arms because I promised him he'd never be alone. That's a very difficult journey.

SPEAKER_06 30:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

However, throughout that journey, there were so many blessings. And it doesn't really matter what difficulty you're going through, it matters if you can see the blessings in all of it. It's hard to do sometimes. We all have our moments, but if at your your center you know you have this life and you and you have been given so many gifts. If you can have that joy at the end of the day and say, Yes, I'm still here and I'm still contributing something good, but and I'm going to get better. So I think there's definitely a need to have faith in the journey.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

Is that what you would tell everyone that may be challenged at a period of their life that I guess the value is in the journey? And what what would you tell people that are in different stages of their lives? Because everyone's journey is different.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

Everyone's journey is different.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

And I don't think that I am able to give a blanket statement that applies universally other than we have the ability to make good choices. And we have to own that. There are situations that are inflicted on us. And I will not diminish that.

SPEAKER_03 32:40

That's life.

SPEAKER_01 32:41

That is correct.

SPEAKER_03 32:42

We all have to experience that. That is correct. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

I won't diminish that at all. It's completely a valid thing. Yeah. It's just what are you going to do with it? Because that's your choice. Stay, go, accept, reject, believe. Not believe. I did an entire set once. Several poems in context. One of the concepts that I have a problem with is the objectification of women. Okay, that's a big deal with me. However, in my set, you know, there's a lot of there was a lot of contributing factors that make that an issue for me. They started when I was four. Okay. I was too young to process it.

SPEAKER_06 33:52

Okay.

Happiness Versus Joy And Daily Practice

SPEAKER_01 33:53

Didn't understand it. Didn't get it. Bought it though. Bought the subscription. Signed myself up. Okay? I have to accept that. I bought into it. I believed it. But I have a choice. I don't have to believe it anymore. Like one of the poems where I acknowledge that I bought into that philosophy, it's in the book. It's called Paper Plate. I bought into it. I signed up for the subscription and I kept it coming. And I could look at that and say, look what they did to me. Or I can let's say I'm not signing up for that subscription anymore. I do not have to continue to buy the subscription for the service that is not honoring my life. That does not mean that the subscription isn't still out there. It means I don't have to, I don't have to have that subscription. So if you look at the ideas that you ingest, we all have reasons for ingesting them. They were served up on a platter in some kind of way. And we're like, oh, well, because it's you, I accept it. But we don't have to continue to sign up for the things that don't serve our greater good. So I I've even gone so far as to say I'm canceling my subscription to a divide and conquer agenda.

SPEAKER_03 35:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:47

I don't want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 35:49

I don't have to choose that's good, useful thought for someone.

SPEAKER_01 35:56

But it takes a lot.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

And not everybody is at a space yet where they can choose that. No, it's coming.

SPEAKER_06 36:10

Yeah.

Agency, Belief Systems, And Subscriptions

SPEAKER_01 36:11

And I hope that you get there. But I have to I have to heal on my journey. And then everybody else is in different places in different times with different things that have shaped their worldview.

SPEAKER_06 36:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

And we're all a part of it. Yeah. One of my favorite quotes is from Yogi Berra. If it was a perfect world, it wouldn't be that's it. All I can do is compete with yesterday's version of me.

SPEAKER_03 36:50

Yeah. So if um someone's on IG, they can find your you at raw data.

SPEAKER_01 36:59

Raw Data Blogger.

SPEAKER_03 37:01

Raw Data Blogger. Okay. Yep. And um your book is uh purchased. Is it be able you it's able to be purchased on Amazon, right? Yes. Download it. I that's how I I I was able to read it.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

So it's also in a couple of local uh bookstores, Eleanor's in Norfolk, and another one, and I forget, I forget. I need to I need to be better about that. Okay. Um and then um like on Amazon, you can get paperback, Kindle, or audiobook.

SPEAKER_05 37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

And the audiobook has an encore section of bonus poems that are not in the printed version.

SPEAKER_03 37:47

I would probably recommend that. That would be really, really interesting to listen to.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

And it's in my voice. So um I went to the studio, I did my reading, so you're getting the emotion that I have for each of the poems. And I hope that if you choose to, it's something that will serve you well.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

Okay. Yes. So I'm gonna ask you and put you on a spot here and just give us spoken word to take us off. You have something for us?

SPEAKER_01 38:31

I'm gonna just do a a short one if that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 38:35

Okay, let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

It's four lines, but it's what I try to live, try to live by right now.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

There's a grain of truth in so many things.

SPEAKER_06 38:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

Let a grain of salt be our seasoning. Let's not give ourselves to extremes. Yeah. Find the love in everything.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

All right.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

All right. There we have it. So we'll catch you next time on Listen Up.

SPEAKER_02 39:10

Can I get that one more time on camera? You do it like a random poem. I freaking love poetry. I mean, I'm about to love the band number one.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

So I can do a random poem. Um random one. Off your background. That pertains to something right now that's happening. That pertains. She's putting a lot of she's putting a lot of caveats on me.

SPEAKER_03 39:33

That's the way my life is with her.

SPEAKER_01 39:35

Well, the one that came to me is in the book, but um, it's one that I can recite off the cuff if that's okay. It's called me. I'm still recording crap. I didn't record the first one. Okay. I am all me, unapologetically, not hypothetically. It's just the real me. I'm not skinny, only five foot three, but my feet touch the ground. They always carry me. I've got them firmly planted with my head in the sky. My foundation is solid, but I'm always gonna fly. I am all me. Unapetically, not hypothetically, just the real me. This world can't hold me. I got bigger game. You can't keep up with this, but you'll remember my name. Love me, hate me, please. It's all the same. Such a fine line. My strut tells you no, I'm not tame. People try to cage me, I'll have none of that. We'll let you cover my flame under no team hat. Dress me how you want to. Just remember this. My fire burns too brightly. Not down for any bullshit.

SPEAKER_03 40:36

All right, we're putting that on there. We can put all the F words and everything in there. We're gonna start it out with that.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

I think I was like worried about the F words.

SPEAKER_03 40:48

How do you feel? I feel like that's that's all because I was like, You look like you were tearing up a little bit there. You were getting a little emotional.

Owning Choices Amid Objectification

SPEAKER_01 40:58

It is an emotional journey. Okay, it's it's a very emotional journey. I had somebody come to the table. It wasn't even my table, they just haven't even come over the other night. They said, We bought your book. And I'm like, Oh, thank you so much. And she said, I can't read it all the way through. She said, I just open it and I read something, and somebody's I can't handle it. I said, It is an emotional read. I understand that, but thank you very much for five minutes.

SPEAKER_03 41:27

So yeah, you what?

SPEAKER_00 41:31

Which one handle okay?

SPEAKER_03 41:36

You think she can relate?

SPEAKER_00 41:37

She's a reader.

SPEAKER_03 41:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 41:39

Did I say it? Well, she wanted to do audiobooks, and I think she should say what well everything.

SPEAKER_01 41:45

Did I get yeah, you're fine because sometimes my brain is going like ten times faster than when I can say it, right? And so I want to make sure that I'm actually communicating well.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Oh no, I can't say everything on my brain at once.

SPEAKER_03 41:59

But you said you almost fell asleep more.

SPEAKER_02 42:02

I couldn't look because the sandbags were ears. See it and see it. I just I'm starting to voice for sleep. Yes, I wanted to do audiobooks. Oh my gosh, I watched this one. This one I got pulled up to this one, this crying board pulled up to the gas station, pulled out his window, and was listening to an audiobook. Any route is big, you know. Like it sounded like a big black one. And it was audiobook listening to it out loud, it's out loud. And the guys, everybody was looking at it like, what the hell is he doing? Wow.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

Where's the uh the lights went? I returned.