Episode 144: Grief, Gratitude, And The Lessons Dad Left Behind

He wasn’t flashy. He didn’t say a whole lot. But he always had my back and that kind of fatherhood changes everything. After losing my dad just days ago, I sit down for a raw, personal reflection on grief, gratitude, and the lessons that still guide me as a lodge owner, a parent, and an outdoorsman.

I talk about what it meant to take the leap into lodge ownership when the timing felt impossible, the money was tight, and the pressure was real. The story goes straight to the unglamorous truth of small business life: broken plumbing, long days, and that sinking feeling that you might not get it all done. Then comes the line my dad gave me that became a survival tool for entrepreneurship and for life: you get it done because you have to. No shortcuts, no excuses, just steady work until the job is finished.

The memories that hold it all together come from the Canadian outdoors. Catfish at a local bridge, the smell of cedar and fresh water, and the quiet way a father can pass down a love for fishing, hunting, and stewardship without making a speech. If you have ever learned who you are from a parent or a father figure, this one will hit close to home.

If it resonates, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find these Stories of the North.

Transcript

A Tribute To Fathers

SPEAKER_02 0:05

You get um so much of an advantage when you have loving and caring parents in life to help you through the hard times. Because without them, I know without my parents, I would have never made it the way that I have. And um I thank them implicitly. This week on the Outdoor Journal Radio Podcast Networks, Diaries of a Lodge Owner, Stories of the North. This week we take a step back from the hustle and bustle to honor the fathers who have shaped our lives. For me, it's a deeply personal reflection as I remember my own dad who passed just days ago. On this episode, we'll explore the invaluable lessons passed down, from casting a line to building a legacy, and how the great outdoors and business have intertwined in the stories we share. So if you've ever found inspiration from a father figure, whether in a boat, a barnyard, or a boardroom, join us as we celebrate their enduring influence on who we've become.

Why The Show Went Quiet

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Folks, I don't know how long this one's gonna be, and I must apologize for the last couple of weeks. I um I haven't uh been uh um I haven't got a a podcast out. Uh I missed one and and good buddy Willie, the oil man, took over for one, but uh uh my dad was sick. Um he uh had um he was diagnosed with uh fibrosis of the lungs about five years ago and uh and then lung cancer two years ago, and uh he he lost his fight at home with all of us on Saturday. Um so uh again I I apologize for my um missing um an episode here or there. But um I thought today it would be appropriate to do an episode on fathers and dads and the importance that they they can have in a lot in in one's life. And I must say that um I'm one of the really, really lucky ones to have had a a father who uh was there, took the time, um, worked extremely hard. He was um he was the uh he was the Wendell Clark of of dads. You know, he wasn't flashy, um he didn't say a whole lot, uh, led by example, and um um more than anything had your back,

Buying The Lodge With Dad Behind Me

SPEAKER_02 3:06

you know. Uh I remember when I when I was um gonna buy the lodge, I had made the decision and I knew that um Melissa wasn't fond of the idea. Actually, she pretty much told me no in every way possible other than verbally saying no. Um and um mom was uh we had a family meeting because I needed I needed to borrow to borrow money. Um and um they uh I remember mom crying saying, What about your babies? And uh because I had um Rayburn and um Mikey and Maddie was on the way when I made the decision to buy the lodge. And um dad didn't say much. Um and then when I made the decision to go ahead and and buy the lodge, both of them, um they were there. They were there for everything I needed. And I remember that first year dad came up. I didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground when it came to plumbing, and I had no idea that he really knew a whole lot about it either, but um he did. Uh and uh we worked um we worked for two and a half weeks straight just fixing broken pipes because the old the owner I bought it from left early and left it up to the staff to close and they just had a party and and didn't clean up. And uh I remember dad was there. I was really and mom too and my whole family, but uh I was uh I was worried that it we weren't gonna get everything fixed. And I remember after about four days of of fixing and fixing, and you know, I said to dad, I said, Do you think we're gonna get this done? And he said, Yeah, we're gonna get it done. We're gonna get it done. He said, Don't worry. And I said, Well, how do you know? And he said, Well, you just get it done because you have to get it done. And and that's what we did. And and really, it was those words and those thoughts that um helped me survive the lodge and helped me to actually become successful because I had no choice. I had no choice. The alternative was not what was failure, and that's that was not a choice, and that was from my dad in everything that he did. Um, you just did it until it was done, and um and and you did it right. And um on those dark days for me when I uh I didn't know whether things were gonna work out okay, um he always had a saying that really put things into perspective, and he would say, Steve, appreciate days like today, because tomorrow could be worse.

A Child’s First Lesson On Death

SPEAKER_02 6:19

You know when I was a kid, I remember you know how you have those days, and you have that revelation for the first time in your life, right, uh as a as a young child, that people die that there's there there's an end. And up until that point, you just didn't ever think about it, right? And um I remember sitting on dad's knee and uh and uh I think it may have been after my mom's grandmother died, and uh I was probably I don't know, five or six, and I said, Dad, are you gonna die? And he looked at me and he said, No, not for a long, long time. And he stretched those arms way out, and it seemed like a long time. But now I know how long, long is. You know, you walk down this road and everybody has to walk it. Whether you're walking alongside somebody you love, or whether you're walking it, you know, on your own path. Everybody's gotta walk these roads, and um it never gets easier, I find. Like I've I've this is the first parent that I've lost. I've lost my grandparents, you know, been there. This is a little different. Um, you know, this is a little different. But um you you remember all of the things that kind of shape your life, and um it's uh it's extraordinary how you know you kind of find yourself or you're lucky enough to find yourself. I shouldn't be saying that um this in general terms, because there are so many people out there that weren't blessed like I was to have parents that cared for me and a father that that loved me and and helped to shape my life and and make me um successful in a lot of ways. Um there are people out there that that never had that opportunity. And for that, I am really really sorry. Um because um it is so much you get um so much of an advantage when you have loving and caring parents in life to help you through the hard times because without them, I know without my parents, I would have never made it the way that I have. And um I thank them implicitly, you know. Um dad taught me um lessons in in resilience, you know. It was, you know, when you you start something, you finish it, and you work really hard to get there. Um I put myself, I always I I would always put myself in a position where I had no choice but to do it. Because I find that if I'm in a position where I have a choice to do different things, um, I lose focus and uh I end up uh running around like a squirrel with four or five different projects and nothing ever gets done. And uh dad would always would always tighten things in for me and um um point me in the right direction and get me going again, you know, and um that those lessons were extremely important.

Catfish Days At Durkin Bridge

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Um, and um the values that they passed down, the lessons in outdoors. He used to that my first memories of of doing things with my dad, we would drive down to the um to Durkin Bridge. Wasn't Dirkin Bridge back in the day, but it's uh it's called Durkin Bridge now because um Bill Durkin, one of the uh farmers in the neighborhood, uh who was uh uh an extraordinary man in his own right, um, we named the bridge after him. And um back in the day when there was a lot of water that went under this bridge, which was a tributary to the grand, dad would take me down there with a bobber hook and a worm and a couple of sinkers, and uh I'd fish for catfish. And we'd stand on that bridge and drop that bobber in, and we'd uh we'd uh wait for it to go down, and you know, uh dad would be there with uh buddy of his Tom, old Tom Calpine, and and uh Jake, my my my brother from another mother, we'd go down there and stand on that bridge, and dad and Tom would uh would have a few beverage bevies while uh Jake and I uh fished and we'd catch catfish all afternoon. And um uh the one thing uh I was just I drove over top of it uh today actually earlier. And uh it's funny, the one thing that um that I that I remember that's that come back to my memory was the smell of uh of it. Um I didn't smell it, it doesn't smell like it used to, but it was that rich um cedar, fresh water smell down in there. And um those days where he took me out out where where he would take me to places like that was what really started my love for nature, my love for the outdoors, my love for fishing, my love for hunting, all of those things, and and has built a um uh a very uh strong feeling of stewardship.

Stewardship, Farming, And Values

SPEAKER_02 12:56

You know, I love hunting, I I I'll take animals, but more importantly, I feel very strong about the stewardship of the land and of our resources and of the animals themselves and looking after those resources. And uh that all come from my dad, you know, and and uh the love for farming. Um he was never a full-time farmer, but I think that's where he that's what he would do if he had a choice. Um he would he would become a full-time farmer in a heartbeat if that uh if he had to do her all over again. But um it was um it was a wonderful life and uh wonderful adventures that I had with with my dad.

Thanks For The Support And What’s Next

SPEAKER_02 13:45

And and um, you know, he was a great grandfather and all of the all of my kids, and I know my my brothers and sisters kids love gramps, you know, and um anyway, I just wanted to sit down, give you guys uh uh a look into my life, let you know that um um diaries is is going to continue and we're going to have wonderful uh guests coming up. Um but um this last few weeks has been uh has been a um uh you know what I've sp I spent a ton of time with mom and dad and my brothers and sisters and my family. And uh the it that was that was wonderful. Um so Diaries is alive and well. Um, and uh I look forward to um to seeing you again soon. Um and uh next week I uh uh I will be back stronger than ever and ready to rock and roll. Uh thank you very much for your kindness and your patience and uh all of the um all of the comments uh on Facebook. I'm not much of a Facebook guy. I um basically had that Facebook account for Shaudier and and uh I uh I use it kind of for that. I don't put a whole lot of personal stuff up there. Um but um uh when we found out when the funeral and um and um wake was gonna be, um I uh I th, you know, it's hard to remember all of the people that you want to you you want them to to know what's going on. Uh you never expect or you know think you feel like somebody should come, but I just didn't want people to find out after the fact and want would have wanted to come. You know what I mean? So I threw it up on Facebook and um the comments from all of you, um it was almost it was overwhelming. Like uh the the so many people reaching out and and uh offering condolences and and uh love and prayers. Um so uh I just want to take this opportunity to thank all of you. Um it really does mean a lot. And um, you know, this one's for dad.

Closing And Theme Song

SPEAKER_02 16:29

So, folks, thus brings us to the conclusion of another episode of Diaries of a Lodge Owner, Stories of the North.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

I'm a good old boy, never meaning no harm. I'll be the whole you ever saw been reeling in the hog since the day I was born. Bending my bra. Spenging my mind. Someday I might all know the lodge and how to be fine. I'll be making my way, the only way I know how. Up I'm a lodge and live my dream. And now I'm here talking about how life can be as good as it seems. Yeah.

Two Rivers Lodge Message

SPEAKER_02 17:42

Welcome to Two Rivers Lodge, where we know that our hard work and determination creates your best experiences. You'll arrive as a guest but leave as family. Surrounded by a multi-species fishing mecca like no other. Our elite cabins and professional staff are ready to make your stay unforgettable. Experience the difference. Because at two rivers, every cast is a story, and every guest is a part of the family.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

As

Under The Canopy Podcast Preview

SPEAKER_00 18:27

the world gets louder and louder, the lessons of our natural world become harder and harder to hear, but they are still available to those who know where to listen. I'm Jerry Oulette, and I was honored to serve as Ontario's Minister of Natural Resources. However, my journey into the woods didn't come from politics. Rather, it came from my time in the bush and a mushroom. In 2015, I was introduced to the birch-hungry fungus known as Chaga, a tree conch, with centuries of medicinal use by indigenous peoples all over the globe. After nearly a decade of harvest, use, testimonials, and research, my skepticism has faded to obsession. And I now spend my life dedicated to improving the lives of others through natural means. But that's not what the show is about. My pursuit of the strange mushroom and my passion for the outdoors has brought me to the places and around the people that are shaped by our natural world. On Outdoor Journal Radio's Under the Canopy podcast, I'm going to take you along with me to see the places, meet the people that will help you find your outdoor passion and help you live a life close to nature and under the canopy. Find Under the Canopy Now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever else you get your podcasts.