Love On The Rox Podcast

The Hookup That Turned Into Feelings (Oops)

• Roger The Wild Child and Michelle Urso • Season 4 • Episode 3

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Are you catching feelings for someone when you weren't supposed to? In this episode of Love On The Rox Podcast, hosts Roger The Wild Child and Megan Bennett dive into the messy reality of modern dating—specifically, when a casual hookup turns into real emotions.

What starts as "just physical" often evolves into a complicated situationship. We break down the psychology of unexpected emotional connections, the risks of casual dating, and the signs that your casual partner might want something more.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • 💓 The Shift: How to tell when physical intimacy becomes emotional.
  • 🚩 Signs & Risks: Can a casual setup actually become a meaningful relationship?
  • 📩 Viewer Mailbag: A dramatic real-life story involving trust, guilt, and relationship boundaries.
  • 🗣️ Real Talk: Navigating expectations and the "What are we?" conversation.

Connect with us: 🎧 If you're struggling with relationship boundaries or navigating the situationship gray area, this is the podcast for you. Join our community for unfiltered advice and real stories every week!

Meet the Hosts

Join Roger The Wild Child and Megan Bennett for unfiltered conversations about love, sex, and modern dating. This week, they’re joined by top relationship influencers and special guests to bring the heat and answer your toughest questions.

SPEAKER_01

All right, everyone, and welcome to Love on the Rocks. What's happening? It is Roger the Wild Child, along with Megan Bennett, and of course Shay Higson is here. We got the party going tonight, guys. We're gonna talk about love and hookups.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Hookups gone bad or good. Or good. You never know. You know what happened. You know what's good, what's gonna happen. Because tonight it's the hookup that turned into feelings. Oops. Shit happens.

SPEAKER_02

It happens. So where it doesn't happen.

SPEAKER_01

I think we've all been there and done it.

SPEAKER_02

I think so too. Yeah, I think so too.

SPEAKER_01

You know, so Shay, have you fell in love on a hookup?

SPEAKER_02

Shay.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, hang on. There she is.

SPEAKER_03

Sorry, guys, I couldn't hear anything. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01

That's a track. So Shay, have you ever fell in love on a hookup? I can't hear Roger at all. You can tell her to log out. Tell her to log out and log back in.

SPEAKER_02

Log out and log back in, Shay.

SPEAKER_01

So you gotta love technology. Okay.

SPEAKER_03

I'll be right back. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Okay. So yeah, it's a great show. We got people building up in the audience. Uh guys, jump in the chat. Let us know that you're listening. Uh, we like to say hi to you guys and uh, you know, and uh see what what's going on and where you guys all from. So it's love in the rocks, guys. We're here on Monday nights, and uh coming up, we got uh viewer mail bag. So uh we're gonna read a letter from one of the audiences. Shay, can you hear me now?

SPEAKER_03

Yes, sir. Okay, can you hear me?

SPEAKER_01

Can you hear me?

SPEAKER_03

I can.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, all right. So, anyways, so what I was saying, Shay, is did you ever fall in love with a hookup?

SPEAKER_03

I mean, that was my first husband. That was my late husband.

SPEAKER_01

Well, it happens, it does it does happen out there, and we're definitely going to talk about that tonight on Love on the Rocks. But I think we're gonna get to the uh we're gonna get to our viewer mailbag. Okay, so we're gonna get started here. Um I do got a letter from uh destiny in Denver, and Destiny writes, and feel free to chime in in the comments, guys. Um, my name is Destiny, and I'm writing from Denver. And honestly, I feel like my mind is running in circles right now. My husband and I have been married for six years together for eight, and I'm not proud of this, but early on I messed up. I cheated on him once, I told him the truth, we worked through it, and somehow he forgave me. We built everything, or at least I thought we did, but now something doesn't feel right. The other day I saw a conversation on his phone with an ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago, and no, and it wasn't anything obvious. No, I miss you, or no plans to meet up, nothing like that. But it was friendly, a little too friendly, just enough flirting to make my stomach drop. And now I can't unsee it. I keep replaying it in my head, wondering if this is how it starts, wondering if this is karma, wondering if the one mistake I made years ago is finally coming back around. Part of me feels crazy even saying this out loud. Like, who who am I to question anything after what I did? But another part of me is scared, like really scared that I opened a door back then that I can't close now. Am I overreacting? Am I projecting my own guilt onto him? Or is my gut trying to tell me something before it's too late? I don't know if I should confront him, stay quiet, or just deal with this on my own. But I feel like I'm um spiraling. So please tell me, am I making this bigger than what it really is? Destiny in Denver.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, destiny. Oh, destiny. Wow. Um I don't know. I think it's probably a little bit of both. I I firmly believe in karma. I think karma's probably coming back to bite her in the ass. Um but I think she's also projectiling, projectiling, projecting um upon it herself. And I I've said this a million times, and I'll say it a million times more. She has nothing to worry about if she just communicates. If she talks to him and says, Hey, this is what I saw, this it makes me uncomfortable, this is why it makes me uncomfortable, what's going on?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Otherwise, she's gonna go in circles with herself and she's gonna beat herself up over it. If he forgave her, that's great. And maybe they're the type to forgive and forget and move on. Um, in which case communication is even more important at that point.

SPEAKER_01

No, I agree.

SPEAKER_03

I agree, I totally agree. I feel like she should definitely talk to him about it if it's bothering her, because you can't help a feeling, right? You know, right, and I mean she's gonna get worse. She doesn't yeah, it's gonna get worse, but I mean, they've worked through it on her part. Is she willing to possibly work through it if it's on his part, right? Yeah, right, and I do believe in karma wholeheartedly 100%.

SPEAKER_01

Karma is a bitch. But do you think he's I mean, does this sound like he's innocent, or do you think it's just or do you or do you think she's or do you think she's like letting it eat her up way too much? Because she did say that she didn't see any like major flirting on there, uh, just casual conversation.

SPEAKER_02

I think it might make her uncomfortable because she was once that other person, she was on the other side of the spectrum, so she knows what happens and what to look for, I guess, because she was once on the other side, and she's or is it just guilt eating at her? I mean, I mean, I I guess it could be, but I don't know, so randomly.

SPEAKER_01

I know that a lot, you know, a lot of people are able to be friends with their exes after a relationship, you know, and it happened, and there's nothing wrong about being friends with your exes, you know, because sometimes a relationship doesn't work, but you make great you become great friends, great friends, right? You know, and it's like you know, I don't feel that you need to like cut your past out because you're in a maybe in a new relationship, you know, just you know, set boundaries, you know.

SPEAKER_02

I think it's a respect, a respectful boundary, honestly. But I mean, if there's anything in that conversation that gives her any kind of inclination or it makes her uncomfortable in any which way, she needs to communicate that to him.

SPEAKER_03

Yes, she does, she must do it could be completely innocent 100. And she could be, you know, dwelling on something that isn't and she might feel guilty for you know what had happened, and maybe you know, that's why she feels the way she does, right?

SPEAKER_01

But communication, it all goes back to communication, it really, really, truly does. And if he loves her, obviously, because he you know forgave her enough to be in the relationship after all these years, you know, if she's feeling uncomfortable, right? You know, it sounds like he would be like, Look, babe, let's sit down and talk about this, right?

SPEAKER_02

You know, but then again, you have to you have to question too if you've got an ex of 10 years reaching out to you suddenly, why is that alley open for communication to begin with? You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01

No, if they we we we don't know if this ex randomly popped up out of the blue, or if it's or or if it's somebody that they've known for years and they both knew, and you know, because because she didn't really go into details of that, but right, you know, I mean it could just be so yeah. I mean, it a lot of times I find that you know, like you'll get into a relationship with somebody else, and they'll get into a relationship with that somebody else, and everybody gets along great, they're just great friends, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Right, um, very seldom do I see that, but yes, it happens, it happens, it does happen, it does happen, it happens, it's just not seldom, I think. Yeah, but yeah, if there's any kind of doubt or worry or uneasy feeling, then the best thing she can do is just bring it up to them and say, Hey, I saw this conversation, it makes me a bit uneasy. I need your reassurance that it's nothing. If it is, I need you to be open and honest with me, right? But she's gotta talk about it, she's gotta talk about it and not dwell on it and stop replaying those messages in her mind because that's just gonna dig her so deep in the hole. And every little thing that he drive her crazy, right, and every little action he does, she's gonna reroute it back to that conversation. Oh, he's 15 minutes home late from work. Is he talking everything's gonna go back to that conversation and it's gonna eat her alive?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, the other side of the whole thing, the flip side of the coin is are they if she's feeling that way, are they secure? Are they right in that relationship? Right, or are they or have they been floating through the relationship?

SPEAKER_02

And it sounds to me maybe they're floating because if she's not comfortable enough to just come out and ask them, hey, what is this? That you know that kind of raises a red flag of maybe they're just at that phase of floating and she's not comfortable talking to him, and if that's the case, then there's bigger issues at hand, right?

SPEAKER_01

Because what we don't know is do they have kids together? Right. Um, we don't know we don't know all that part, right? You know that so so if they do have kids together, are they staying together for the kids? I've been in that relationship, I've stayed with my ex-wife because of the kids, and I've learned that kids adapt to change quicker than you think they do. So they do I I wasted too many years in a marriage, um, but we make we make better friends outside of the marriage now, right? Um, and we co-parent really good. So that's good, yeah. So it's but you know, the the the end of the day here is just like you gotta ask yourself, do you love this person enough to be able to sit down with them, tell them how you feel, and be honest, be like, listen, am I overreacting? You know, babe, am I overreacting? Um, I know that you know it's eating me up because I know that you are talking to her and I saw something flirty. You know, can I see the conversation that you guys right? I mean, if you guys are together, obviously, if he says, Oh no, no, no, you can't look in my phone, you can't you can't read this white, you don't trust that tells you all you need to know.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Do what's but on the other hand, I said that tells you all you need to know. But on the other hand, you should be able to trust your partner as much as you trust yourself.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely, you should, but if if you have any kind of worry or doubt or something, you should be able to communicate with your partner and say, Hey, that is true, I'm feeling this way. This is what you know is making me feel that way. Can we find a solution to better it to make it go away? That's so important in a relationship to be able to have that that line of communication open. Yeah, communication is a lot, it's everything in a relationship, I think.

SPEAKER_01

And we go back to this every every episode. We go back all goes back to communication, and if you can't communicate with your partner, then you know you don't have anything. And that was the problem with my yeah, that was the problem with my marriage, is that you know we didn't know how to communicate with each other. For example, for example, we would sit there and uh we may be in a different room and we'll like we'll like sit there and text fight. Oh, yeah, and then we go, and then when you go around the corner, it's just you're just like, Oh, hey, what's up? And then you go to a different room, you're back on the phone.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it's so toxic. I've been in that relationship, yeah. You know, you or you're having like, or you're on two different messengers, you're like Facebook Messenger and a text message, you're having a casual conversation with them on Facebook Messenger, and then you pop over to text message and you guys are fighting.

SPEAKER_02

It's I do that with my best friends, though, like non-relationship. We'll be talking through Snap or Messenger text messages, Instagram, like, and it'll be five or six totally different conversations with the same person on five different platforms. That is funny, but yeah, communicate destiny. What is that her name? Destiny, yeah, destiny, yeah, communicate. That's what Destiny from Denver. Yes, destiny from Denver.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, thank you so much, Destiny, for writing in. If you guys want to uh have something to say in our view or mailbag, feel free to message the show. Um and uh do love on the rocks on air at gmail.com. And uh we definitely would love to be able to get uh your letters out. So, anyways, so so let's get on to our topic today. It starts simple, uh, no pressure, no expectations, just two people agreeing to keep it casual. No labels, no strings, just vibes. But then something shifts, the texts start meeting a little more. You find yourself checking your phone more often, you start wondering what they're doing, who they're with, and why you suddenly care. And now you're in it. Catching feelings when you weren't supposed to, weren't supposed to, um, can feel like breaking your your own rules. So you told yourself this wouldn't happen, and you said you you could handle it, but emotions don't exactly follow agreements, do they? So, what is it? Is it the beginning of something real, or are you setting yourself up for disappointment in a situation that was never meant to go deeper? Tonight we're breaking it all down. The confusion, the mixed singles, signals, the what are we conversations, and the truth about whether a hookup can actually turn into something meaningful? No judgment, just real talk. Because if we're being honest, a lot of us have been there, right?

SPEAKER_03

For sure.

SPEAKER_01

So let's start off. Let me ask y'all. So why do people agree uh to casual situations?

SPEAKER_02

I have no fucking clue why people agree to it. I've done it. Um, how do I even on one hand it it can be an absolute disaster? On the other hand, it could be literally the best thing that has ever happened wholeheartedly. Um, I've been on both ends of the spectrum, and I really don't fucking know why people agree to do shit like that. I really don't. I don't nine times out of ten, it's a mess, and someone is bound it. Someone is bound to catch feelings. It's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01

You know, and I've been there. I mean, I mean, I've had the the the random hookups, and it to me it's not a settling feeling, right? Um, right, because you know, because you know, I'm one to get attached, and so it's like you know, then I go, oh crap, you know, I you know well let's talk about Kara. Okay, remember Kara? She was on the show, Shay, you don't know, but she was a girl that I dated uh a few years back before I moved to Texas when I lived in Idaho. Um, she was actually 20 years younger than me.

SPEAKER_02

And um we went to some we met at a like Shay's phase.

SPEAKER_01

We met at a dating event, right? Miss Speed Dating Cougar, whatever, something like that, but she was younger, I was the older one, but but I used it okay. So so we sat, so we we got along, we kicked things off, we're just hanging out, we were friends, you know. We would go and do things together and hang out or whatever, and it was it just all it was all just friendly, casual, nothing, nothing serious or whatever. Um, and then you know, maybe like a couple like a month or two in, we went out to a strip club one night because she wanted to go to a strip club, and I said, Okay, so we're sitting there, so we're like hanging out, we're like, okay, cool, having fun, you know, we're at the stage. I'm giving her the one so she could tip, right? So, and guys, let me tell you a gentleman. If you take a girl to the strip club, you give her the money.

SPEAKER_02

You don't have a horrible idea. What the were you thinking?

SPEAKER_01

Anyways, why friends? We were out drinking, she's like, let's go to the strip club.

SPEAKER_03

And I'm like, Okay, that's a great idea.

SPEAKER_02

That's a horrible idea.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but I just sat back, she started tipping, whatever, you know. Obviously, one thing led to another, and then and so the friendship became took it's a a different across a different boundary. Um, and so it's it for us, it's it we we were kind of like in shock about the whole thing. Um, but I think we, you know, we were like, you know what, you know, we like each other, you know, and you know, and you know, let's make it this, let's make it work. And we're together for about eight months, um until she cheated. But I didn't expect it to go that long. I was I was surprised. Yeah, you know, I'm like, why would a beautiful 30-year-old girl want to be with like a 50-year-old guy? That was my mindset. But I was like, all right, I mean we get along great.

SPEAKER_03

Mine too.

SPEAKER_01

So, but I but you know, I mean, I mean we had fun, but I mean we we got along great or whatever. I mean, it just obviously didn't work. Um, obviously, because I'm sure the age difference had a lot, and we were mentally in a different places in life, but you know, the chemistry, you know, was different. Um, but I I mean, but that's what I mean. You know, we I I I I think emotions got involved and we took it from a friendship to a different level, and um, you know, it happened. Yeah, I mean, I I don't regret the relationship, it does, it does happen. Yeah, I don't regret the relationship that we had. I mean, it was my second relationship coming out of my marriage, my last relationship that I've had. So it's I've been single, what, for about three years now?

SPEAKER_02

Three years, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, before yeah, longer than that, four years because I moved to Texas in 2023.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So yeah, I haven't even been in a relationship since I was in Texas, right? But I mean, I've dated a few people, but nothing of the sort that really moved me. But but yeah, it's you know, it's it's it's it's really um it's easy to get caught up into feelings when you're building something as a foundation with somebody, and sometimes we get we don't realize we're like, whoa, what just happened? Did do I am I did did we just build a connection that we didn't realize that it happened right that we didn't expect this? A lot of it can be one-sided, though.

SPEAKER_02

It could always be one person saying, Oh my gosh, I'm falling in love with you, and it can ruin a friendship, and it can ruin the friendship, so it's a sticky situation, it definitely is one side of me doesn't recommend it, and then the other part of me that has been on the other end of the spectrum that it's gone amazing, is like, no, take that chance, but really that it's rare, I feel that it's not one-sided. There's I feel like it happens more times than it it doesn't, that it's one-sided, and more times than not, it ruins that friendship. And you just I guess you just have to ask yourself, is it worth ruining a friendship? A potential relationship? What if it doesn't work out? Is are you okay with losing that that friendship?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. So let me ask you too when does it shift from physical to emotional?

SPEAKER_02

I think a lot plays into that whether it be that's a good question. That is a really good question. I'm just really I'm trying to think when it I don't know, in my experience, it was just the time and the conversation I was gonna say conversations day. Right. I think conversations really opened up the door and made leeway for it to be more than just a physical thing.

SPEAKER_01

So, what are the signs that um you can real you'll realize that you're deeper into this than you think or planned?

SPEAKER_02

Oh man, I should not be on air talking about this. Um say that again. So that just flabbergasted me.

SPEAKER_01

You know, what are the signs that you're in it deeper than you were originally planned?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's right. Um what do you think?

SPEAKER_03

How do you know when you're deeper in it than you think?

SPEAKER_01

Yes. What are the signs?

SPEAKER_02

You find yourself out, you find yourself worrying about that person, you find yourself thinking about that person, you find yourself making time for that person and making time for conversation.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they're in they're in your mind more than you want them to be in your mind.

SPEAKER_02

Right, right, yes, right. And you find yourself making space for that person in conversation and time together. When you when that happens, you it's a done deal. You're already there, you're already developed feelings, like just rock with it.

SPEAKER_01

Just just throw in the flag and be like, fuck it, let's do this.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like this, yeah. But yeah, I think it's really when you find yourself making time for that person and thinking about them and or her and making a conscious effort to have them in your life at some degree every day, whether it's a simple text, a simple, you know, phone call, whatever it may be. When you find yourself making that effort and you're you're intentionally making space in your day-to-day schedule for them, that's when it that's when it changed.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah, you you always find people that they'll be like, you ask them, Oh, how's how's your love life doing? Oh, it's complicated, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it's only as complicated as you want it to be, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

You know, yeah, you know, especially when one person wants more than the other, right, you know. Uh when that happens, should you speak up or just play it cool?

SPEAKER_02

Speak up. Yeah, most definitely. The worst you can happen that can happen is you're shot down and you're told, no, like this. I I feel this way, and we need to keep it this way, or you can hit gold and it be something, but you don't know unless you bring it up and and say, Hey, this is how I'm feeling. Do we need to take two steps back or you know, chill out, or move forward?

SPEAKER_01

So, Shay, let me ask you when you and your um husband um obviously took it to the next level, you started out as friends and it just became friends, and then it was a hookup thing. So, when when was it for you that made you realize I want I want more?

SPEAKER_03

I just loved being around him all the time. I thought he was funny, adorable. He just I just liked being around him. We had great times, great conversations. We were wild as hell. And you know, we just rolled with it. It was just it made sense as much as it didn't. Yeah, it makes sense, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That's another thing when it when it begins to just fall into place and it just makes sense more than it it doesn't. Yeah, that's important, and at that point, I think you speak up and you say, Hey, this this makes sense to me. It may not to you, but it does to me. Where do you stand on it?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and what if they say no? I don't have the same feelings as you do, and you're that's okay into it.

SPEAKER_03

That's fine, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

That's okay.

SPEAKER_03

You like I hope you thrive and do good and find your person because everybody deserves that, you know.

SPEAKER_01

But a lot of people don't are not able to say, Oh, fine, they get hurt, they like they allow crushed well, they can get unhurt, you know, like you knew what was going on from the beginning, you knew the chance was there that this was the hurt is gonna last for a minute, but I mean, if you are emotionally in tune with yourself and how you get over things, it's just you're rolling with the punches instead of just trying to fight back.

SPEAKER_02

You know, yeah, I just feel like you knew what was going, what the chances were. You got a 50-50 chance, and you knew that going into it.

SPEAKER_01

You want to read this, Megan?

SPEAKER_02

I love hookup from Alpha, the first one. I love hookup culture. It was create by women, the boomer women, after the sexual revolution. So enjoy real talk. All right, I got nothing. I got nothing. We live in a baby daddy, baby ma'am society, so hookup is the standard.

SPEAKER_01

Is it?

SPEAKER_02

I don't know. I don't know. It's not my standard.

SPEAKER_03

It's not my standards. I mean, I only have my children's father. I only have one father to my children. Me too. I mean, we were together for almost 17 years.

SPEAKER_01

Oh wow, yeah, that's a long time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I don't know. I'm not in a hookup culture. I don't I see I see his point.

SPEAKER_03

I see I can see because there's definitely people out there just there is doing everything down down street and Broadway, yeah. Right. I can see why I know there's a Broadway in every state, all right.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, every city, but I don't necessarily agree that everybody is in it. There's some people out there who who genuinely want that connection and for everything. Right, right, right. I'm 42. I don't I'm not in the hookup culture.

SPEAKER_01

So Alpha's got the stats for us, everyone.

SPEAKER_02

47 of children are born out of wedlock, so hookup culture is the standard. Real talk.

SPEAKER_03

I mean, real talk. I had my first kid out of wedlock.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, me too. I'm about to look that stat up. I don't think that's right. I'm about to look this up.

SPEAKER_01

No, she'll get on chat GPT and be like, yo, chat. Is this true or what?

SPEAKER_02

That's a good idea. Hold on. I'm curious.

SPEAKER_01

Wait a minute. 47 of children are children are born out of wedlock. I think more children are born out of wedlock in these days than back if you were like in the 70s and 80s and so forth.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that's because your parents prompted you to get married to said person because you were indeed pregnant. Correct or no? What he said back in the 70s there wasn't a lot of babies born out of wedlock, and I said that's because a lot of people probably prompted them to get married.

SPEAKER_02

I wasn't even married in the 70s, and that's what prompted me to get married. Like it was it was laid on thick because uh a brother was a preacher and laid it on thick. Oh, you can't have a kid out of wedlock, you can't do this, you can't do that, it's the right way, you gotta live God's so we we got married, and it was the worst mistake of my fucking life. But had we not have had that pressure, I don't think we would have I know, I know, we would have never gotten married, ever, um ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. Um, but no, that statistic is wrong. Um in the you in the United States, the most recent data shows that about 30 to 31 percent of children are born to unmarried parents. The rate was higher in the past decade and has been declining slightly in recent years. Back in the 1960s, it was under 10 percent. So this represents a big long-term shift.

SPEAKER_01

Interesting.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so it's actually declining.

SPEAKER_01

Nice, that's an interesting fact. Is it fake news?

SPEAKER_02

No, that's from chat GPT. Well, chat I'm not saying anything more. Whether or not that's what Google says, I don't know, but chat GPT says 30 to 31 percent. But no, I don't I'm not in a hookup hookup mindset or state of life, or I don't know, I'm not a hookup culture kind of person.

SPEAKER_01

I'm a relationship. I never have been a relationship person. I want I want the whole thing. I don't I I yes, I want physical affection, attraction, you know, I want I want that, but I want more than that. I want right, you know, I want the connection, the emotional connection, the butterflies, you know, the conversations.

SPEAKER_02

Yep, yeah, you know, all that, yeah, and not with 50 different dudes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you know, I don't want that with 50 different dudes.

SPEAKER_02

That just screams roast beef, and that's just not enticing.

SPEAKER_01

That just flew over her head, it's really not.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I missed it. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_01

I said I said I don't want that with 50 different dudes.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, no, no, not at all.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02

We don't either. No, we don't either at all.

SPEAKER_01

How do you so how do you handle rejection uh or mismatched feelings? Do you ghost them? Uh do you become distant? I mean, I know we always say, yeah, let's communicate, but a lot of people are like, as soon as they hear, like, oh my god, she's got more or he's got more feelings than me. Next thing you know, the conversation ends, and they go days besides before like texting happens because somebody's pulling away, somebody's pulling away, right?

SPEAKER_02

Right. Yeah, like but again, that goes with the assumption that before it's even started, you're on clear grounds to be able to do that. That hey, this this is what it is. You say you you catch feelings and you approach that person, you care about that person, but do you I think everybody takes distance, they're gonna they're gonna have some distance it once a conversation like that is held and it's one-sided, but then you both have to decide, well, is it worth even just saving the friendship for? And again, that goes back to taking the risk of ruining a friendship. Um, if two people are mature and they have that understanding of, hey, it's okay that you feel that way. Unfortunately, I'm on a different page, but keep that friendship.

SPEAKER_03

If it's if yeah, if you can keep the friendship for sure, keep it.

SPEAKER_02

Keep the friendship, yeah. Because you you just you truly you never know what the fe that person just may not where she go.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, we lost her again. She must be having some connection issues. But no, I I agree, you know, have that conversation up front, right? Um, you know, just you know, set the expectations before you jump into it. But sometimes people just jump into it and then they try to have that conversation, and then it gets awkward.

SPEAKER_02

Now, what do you what do you do if you're on the other side of the spectrum and you're approached, you're in a relate or a friends with benefits hookup, and you're approached by the other half that they're you know, they've got more feelings, and you're on the side that you don't. How do you approach it then?

SPEAKER_01

Um I think it I think it'd be a little awkward. Um, you know, in in a realistic in a real world, you would think, okay, let's have this conversation, boom, we're all good, but people get too attached and they don't know how to separate that attachment, right? Um, and so it's just kind of like it's easier to back away and and blind and go blind.

SPEAKER_02

Um that's such a shit way to handle it.

SPEAKER_01

It is, it is. I'm not saying it's right, but that's what people do.

SPEAKER_02

It is what people do, yeah. We're in a ghosting, what is it called? I'm gonna draw my blank era. We're in a ghosting era, and it's the biggest biggest piece of shit ever. I cannot stand it.

SPEAKER_01

Nobody, I mean, gosh, going like going through high school and college, there was no such thing as which I'll be the first one to ghost.

SPEAKER_02

I'm over here talking shit about it, and I'll be the first one to ghost.

SPEAKER_03

She like changes everything to Casper because she's like uh Houdini.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like I'll be the first one. I mean, if you look at my inbox, there's there's dudes in there talking to themselves all day long for months and months and months, some of them even years, and they still they just carry on conversation amongst themselves.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I will go.

SPEAKER_02

So like I you send me one message and say, Hey, what's up? I'll say hey, and the minute you go into your second message, I don't exist. I don't exist, I'm done. I'm done. She's like peace, yeah, yeah. I'll I'll be cordial enough and say hey, and literally that is it. That is it. Like I've got uh right now, actually, in my inbox. I went, I was in I was in my best friend's wedding in this moment, yeah. I was in my wedding's wedding last weekend, and there's a guy who is friends with the groom. And I don't know this this kid. I don't, and I call him a kid because he's he's a lot younger than me, yeah. Um and he messaged me and he was like, hey, and of course I I responded and said hey, and he was like, I was at so and so's wedding today, and I'm like, Oh, that's cool, like glad you you can make it, kind of thing. And he was like, Well, had I have known what was it, had I have known you were gonna be there, I would have stayed and danced with you. And I'm thinking, who the I don't even fucking know you. That's a that's a really good thing you didn't approach me and ask me to dance because I would have you're fallsy, you are flozy, I would have had to hurt your feelings, and so I quit responding to him at that point, like and I kid you not, there has been like 47 years old.

SPEAKER_01

Hey, he was trying to shoot his shot, okay?

SPEAKER_02

It's dead, he was trying to get it. Yeah, yeah, and even as recent as today, like he's been talking to himself in my inbox since last weekend, and if I'm not gonna respond the first 17 times, I'm not gonna respond 54 times after, yeah, like I'm really not.

SPEAKER_01

And why don't you just block them?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I don't think I I I that takes so much work, I just ignore them.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, really? To click the button that says block.

SPEAKER_03

Well, eventually they'll just drop off there.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, that's my thinking. Eventually they'll just drop off.

SPEAKER_01

Which I think she just reads it for comic relief.

SPEAKER_02

Which I even like screenshot him talking to himself and sent it to my best friend. Her and her new husband got like a great laugh out of it because they're like, Oh my god, this like we're we are so sorry. Like, we know all about him and we we really are sorry. And I kind of thought after that he would just drop off. Maybe the groom would say something to him at work. No. No, no. Didn't happen. No, it didn't.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_02

But in my mind, he's 20 something years old. Like, what what at what point do you think? Oh, this 42-year-old woman and I have something in common. I think I'm gonna hit on her. What? At what point? To me, that just screams hookup culture. Like this kid. Do y'all get what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Am I I'm not being clear.

SPEAKER_03

I feel yeah, you are. You're being clear. He's just like that's maybe you remind him of the teacher back in the day that you know he's just I don't know.

SPEAKER_02

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

But that's that's the world we're living, right? Are we doing are we doing um sex education today? Megan.

SPEAKER_02

I'm the wrong one to teach that. Um I'm like forever a 12-year-old boy when it comes to talking about sex. I just I I even I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, but that's the world we live in today. That's part of the hookup culture, and social media entices it and makes it worse. But I do feel like, like the statistics said, I think the numbers are are going down. I think there's a lot more people that actually want something real and want something a genuine connection, a genuine relationship, right? And granted, there's gonna be the 20, 30 year olds out there that are really vivid in the hookup culture, and that's what their their goal is.

SPEAKER_01

It's a score card, they want a cougar.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, it's it's right, right. It's uh it's a I want to be able to say I did kind of thing, and I got me a guilf. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just I don't know, hookup culture is just I think it's I'd like to think it's fading. Maybe I'm just getting older and maybe it's not, but I'd like to think it's fading.

SPEAKER_01

Gen Z. Gen Z is like they don't from what I've seen, I've seen some stats, I don't know where, but Gen Z is not about relationships anymore.

SPEAKER_02

Really? That they Gen Z is all about sniffing fucking tie pods and licking windows. That's what Gen Z is. Gen Z is not, let's be real, they're not the brightest. They're they're eating Tods, licking windows, and snorting smarties, snorting smarties, which I can't say anything because in eighth grade I used to make the new kids that wanted to sit at my lunch table. I made them snort alttoids before they would sit with me. Yeah, yeah. Me and my friend Amber used to do that. Um, but yeah, that's interesting that Gen Z is not in the dating. Yeah, I don't know, and they're not just not in the right mindset, they're fucking retarded, or or it's totally okay to start dating everybody.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because don't you know it's just it was not too long ago, and I know this will be another topic for another day, that polyamorous became a bigger, bigger thing.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, I've noticed that through the years too.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it has and then look at the secret wives of the Mormons or whatever that TV show is. Oh my god, that that that shows like chaotic.

SPEAKER_02

Hooligans, just hooligans. I could never, and that's another thing with hookup culture. I could never be in a like a friends with benefits situation and know that the guy I'm I'm giving my time to is also sleeping with three or four others.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that's what that's what I don't want to do. I don't want to be sleeping, I could never sleep with somebody that's sleeping with everybody else. I don't know around. I'm not gonna go sleep with nobody but whoever sleep. Right, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_02

I just don't understand it. I don't it makes no sense to me. Why would you waste your time and allow yourself to be an option and disposed of after being so intimate with someone, like it just it makes no sense to me. I'll never understand it.

SPEAKER_01

You know, because when I'm with somebody, you know, for me, like I said, I want the whole package, I don't want the physical connection, I want the whole package, I want I don't want to share my heart with whole people. I want I want to go all in and right, you know. I you know, I and that's what I'm that's what I'm looking for. Right. I'm not looking for Monday, I'm not looking for a Wednesday, and I'm not looking for a Friday.

SPEAKER_02

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Um, right. I'm looking, I'm looking for my best friend, my partner in crime, my soulmate, somebody who Yeah, my ride or die, like yes, yeah, yes, my bonnie to my Clyde.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and that's not to say there's a bunch of people my age that I can think of right now that even I went to school with that are so stuck in the hookup culture, and Lord knows a good a good a good portion of them are married, um, and they're still stuck in that hookup culture. It's like they never grew up, they never they're married and have like families, and they're still trying to live in the hookup culture, yeah. And it's just like, what are you trying to gain? Are you getting notches on your belt? Are you like what are you trying to gain?

SPEAKER_03

Literally, you already have your personal right, right?

SPEAKER_02

That person for somebody else is yes, yes, like leave that person for for their forever to find, like, quit occupying their time when you know good and well, you're just gonna dispose of them. Like, I think that's so cruel to do to someone, it really is, and as a person, like you gotta have more self-worth than that, than to allow that to happen. Yes, you know what I mean, like to know that you can be disposed of at any given moment, and you may get dicked down Thursday night, but here comes Friday, and it's somebody someone else, and yeah, I don't know. I it just doesn't appeal to me. Yeah, no, I know so many people that it does, and it just might be.

SPEAKER_03

I hope none of your people were in Houston over spring break.

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, I'm does Houston get wild out there for spring break?

SPEAKER_03

It does, but does it really there was this thing going around? Not more than what'd you say?

SPEAKER_01

Not like Florida, Florida gets wild down there. Florida gets really wild, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

There was an article going around saying that there was like 40,000 people that tested positive for an STD over like spring break area.

SPEAKER_02

I bet half of them are from Conyers, Georgia. I'm not even joking.

SPEAKER_03

I'd say Tulsa, Oklahoma, probably.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Dang. Wow.

SPEAKER_01

Well that's some hookup culture for real. Is that fake news or is that I mean, do we have supporting uh I don't know, I'll look it up real quick. Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Atlanta used to every spring break, Atlanta had this um, I don't even know what it is. It's an event, it's a fucking disaster, but it's it was called Freaknik. And it's where people from all over, and it was it was geared towards the African-American community, which is fine. Um, but it would be like riots, and it was so fucking, and it was every single year. They just quit it like I don't know, a couple years back. Um, but Freaknik in Atlanta for spring break used to be like top-notch disaster, worse than Panama, worse uh worse than you know the big Florida spring break. Right. Um thank God they quit with it now. Thank God, but Atlanta used to get lit for spring break.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, so the 40,000 was fake news, but it says as of March 2026, syphilis cases in Houston have increased by 79%.

SPEAKER_02

I fucking told you Conyers, Georgia. Conyers, we made um like national news. There's a whole documentary on Conyers and how we are the lost children of Rockdale County because of a syphilis outbreak that happened. I want to say it was like 98, 99, it happened. And they it made national even to this day. People ask me where I'm from, and I'm like 30 30 minutes east east of Atlanta. You won't catch me saying Conyers, Georgia. Absolutely not. You will not do it, and it's because I mean, oh my god, I can name names, but I'm not going to.

SPEAKER_03

No, don't do that. Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02

It was like it was, it's it's insane. It's insane the amount of syphilis outbreaks. And and this was back when Conyers was like small, like it's grown a lot through the years, but it was really at one time like a small hometown, and we had this massive, massive, massive syphilis outbreak amongst the three high schools in Conyers, yeah. And it that was that was at like the top of the hookup culture. That was like the top of it, and that, like I said, it was like 98, 97, 98, 99, somewhere around there. I know they made the documentary. I want to say it was like my freshman year of high school, and that was 98, 99.

SPEAKER_01

Well, remind me whenever I come to visit Atlanta, not to go to Conyers.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you know, you don't want to go to Conyers ever.

SPEAKER_01

Place is a toxic shithole. Okay, I'll take your word for it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I have other places that I want to go. Yeah. Go to Nashville, hang out at Galveston Island, Texas.

SPEAKER_02

I want to go to Galveston one time. I've heard it was beautiful.

SPEAKER_01

It is. It's really nice down there. The water's dirty, but it's really nice down there. Really?

SPEAKER_02

I've heard it was like super clear.

SPEAKER_01

Uh no.

SPEAKER_02

Really? Maybe what is that other what is that island down at the tip of Texas?

SPEAKER_01

San South Padre Island.

SPEAKER_02

South Padre Island, yeah. I heard that's beautiful too.

SPEAKER_01

South Padre, San Padre, something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice, it's nice down there, yeah. Yeah, it's uh right there by the gateway down by Corpus Christi.

SPEAKER_02

Okay, yeah. I heard that's really and that's a big spring break hookup. I've seen documentaries on it. Everywhere's a big spring break hookup.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah. You watch a lot of documentaries, don't you, Megan?

SPEAKER_02

I do. I'm a I'm a news nerd. I am. I love documentaries. I love them. Like I just watched one on Wade Wilson that really just sack of shit that has the tattoos that killed the two women and handsome killer, yeah. The handsome killer. Yeah, I'm always watching a documentary.

SPEAKER_03

Oh god, have you seen the um what is she rotten mango? No, she gets some. Oh gosh, she does some really amazing documentaries, and you like really get into it. She's she's really where can I find her at? I I don't know, but uh yeah, rotten mango, yeah, rotten mango. She's awesome, and the way she goes into death and explains it, it's it's really good.

SPEAKER_02

It's really yeah, rotten mango. I'm gonna have to look her up.

SPEAKER_01

So sometimes what we think is just casual ends up being anything but feelings don't always follow rules, timelines, or intentions, and catching them doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. But the real question is what are you gonna do about it? Are you going to be honest about why you feel or keep playing it safe and risk losing something real? Because at the end of the day, clarity is better than confusion, and honesty will always take you further than pretending you don't care.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

I mean that wraps up another episode.

SPEAKER_02

I agree. That was a good wrap-up.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I had fun, y'all. Likewise, me too. It's just the three of us.

SPEAKER_04

That's okay.

SPEAKER_01

All right, guys. We'll be back on two weeks from tonight. Yes, with another great topic that uh Megan has picked.

SPEAKER_03

Yes. Interesting. Okay, yes, okay.

SPEAKER_01

So she's all excited.

SPEAKER_02

She's like, I am excited over the next one. I am, it's gonna be a good one.

SPEAKER_01

Alrighty. Well, you guys have yourself a great week. Happy Easter to everyone.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, happy Easter. Happy Easter.

SPEAKER_01

Megan totally forgot it was Easter this Sunday.

SPEAKER_02

My kid's gonna kill me. He asked me today. He was like, Mom, are we doing an Easter egg hunt? And I'm like, Yeah, I got plenty of time. That's not a whole lot of time for a procrastinator at all.

SPEAKER_03

No, but we'll push it till the last day.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, because you got eight to do Easter balls.

SPEAKER_03

No, they I got a no. No. The teenagers and stuff, they don't, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they don't count anymore. No, you don't give them Easter baskets?

SPEAKER_03

No, they don't want Easter baskets, they'd rather just have$20 or you know, right, right, yeah. Like, mom, if you love me, you would take me to Kane's chicken. And I'm like, that's my kid's favorite spot too.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I hear that all the time.

SPEAKER_01

Um is a good show. Kane's is good, it is good, and their sauce and their toast. Oh, talk about it.

SPEAKER_03

I like their sweet tea, yes, and their bread. What their slice of toast? Amazing. Like this thick. I'm like, hold the coleslaw, add some extra bread.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01

Put extra butter on it while you're at it.

SPEAKER_02

Canes is so good, it is, it is, guys.

SPEAKER_01

Don't worry, canes is not a sponsor of this show. No, no, no, no. You just really like them.

SPEAKER_03

You just really like them. That's coming from our heart, right? Right.

SPEAKER_01

All right, guys. You have yourself a great night. We'll we'll see you back in two weeks. See you in two weeks. Bye, y'all. Bye.