Raw is War 01.05.1998: Night of 1,000 Stone Cold Stunners

In this episode of the New to Wrestling podcast, hosts Xavier and Kelsey dive into the January 5, 1998 edition of Raw is War. The show kicks off with Stone Cold Steve Austin declaring his intentions for the Royal Rumble, setting the tone for a night filled with surprise attacks and confrontations.

The episode features several notable matches, including Ken Shamrock taking on Farooq and Owen Hart facing Savio Vega. Throughout the show, Stone Cold Steve Austin makes his presence felt by delivering stunners to various superstars. The hosts discuss the ongoing storylines, including the tension within the Nation of Domination, the introduction of Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk), and the buildup to the Royal Rumble. The episode concludes with a dramatic segment involving Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker, leaving viewers with a cliffhanger ending.

Match Card:

• Ken Shamrock vs. Farooq
• Jeff Jarrett vs. Barry Windham (NWA North American Heavyweight Championship)
• Disciples of the Apocalypse vs. Truth Commission
• Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
• Marc Mero vs. Tom Brandi
• New Age Outlaws vs. The Headbangers

Timestamps:

• 0:00 Intro and episode overview
• 5:33 Stone Cold's surprise attacks begin
• 10:29 Ken Shamrock vs Farooq match analysis
• 16:06 Paul Bearer's emotional plea for Kane
• 21:26 NWA North American Championship match controversy
• 27:41 Sable's mistreatment by Marc Mero storyline
• 45:37 Paul Bearer's disheveled appearance and promo
• 50:54 Marc Mero vs Tom Brandi match
• 57:43 Chainsaw Charlie's dramatic debut with Cactus Jack
• 1:05:43 Shawn Michaels calls out The Undertaker

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The New To Wrestling Podcast follows two friends who enjoy wrestling but are in different stages of their fandom. Xavier Cruz serves as your guide through generations of professional wrestling while Kelsey Silva experiences these matches for the first time. Climb into the ring weekly to relive the famous matches beginning with the Attitude Era!

Transcript

Xavier [0:42 - 1:47]: Hello, everyone, and welcome to another edition of the New to Wrestling podcast. This week, we watched the January 5, 1998 edition of Raw is War. And the match card is as follows. In our opening contest, we have Ken Shamrock taking on Farouk. Jeff Jarrett takes on Barry windham for the NWA North American Heavyweight Championship. The Disciples of the Apocalypse, 8 Ball and Skull take on Sniper. And Recon of the Truth Commission, Owen Hart takes on Savio Vega. Their names will never not make us giggle. Mark Miro with Sable takes on Tom Brandy. And in our main event, the New Age Outlaws take on the Headbangers. All right. Hello. Hello, everyone. Welcome back. Welcome to what is officially season three. We have made it three whole years of watching wrestling with us. Well, sort of two. 

Kelsey Silva [1:47 - 1:51]: We're starting our third year, so we've completed two whole rotations. 

Xavier [1:52 - 1:55]: Right, right, right. The sun, which is crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [1:55 - 1:59]: If you guys know us, you know, this is insane. 

Xavier [1:59 - 2:06]: This is insane. We commit to nothing and happily. Like we happily commit to nothing. 

Kelsey Silva [2:06 - 2:08]: But that's what I'm saying. That's how, you know, we love it. 

Xavier [2:08 - 2:28]: Because we keep doing it, honestly. So welcome. Thanks for coming along on the ride. If you are new here, you are in luck. This is Kelsey. She is also new here. She's the new and new to wrestling. If you're not so new, that's all right. My name is Xavier and I'm here to help you out as well. All right. 

Kelsey Silva [2:28 - 2:30]: Resident wrestling hag. It's. 

Xavier [2:30 - 3:10]: No, literally. And the. The more in it we get, the more hag like I feel. Amen. No, I'm just kidding. But this episode was. We have a gap episode from the last Raw is War that we covered. Not too much has happened that we won't also discuss here, um, due to recaps and things. So we're. Instead of just going into what have we missed? And programming note, for the next couple weeks, we'll actually have Monday Night Raws to watch. So the. 

Kelsey Silva [3:10 - 3:11]: Thank you, Netflix. 

Xavier [3:12 - 3:35]: So the Royal Rumble episode is going to get pushed into sometime in April because we have one more Monday Night Raw and After Dark that we have to do and then it'll be the Royal Rumble. So that'll probably come around. Come out around early April if you're looking forward to it. Because I know I am. I love the. 

Kelsey Silva [3:35 - 3:50]: I'm really. I know it's your favorite. I'm really excited for the Royal Rumblina And I'm excited that we can actually watch episodes of Monday night where I'm not missing all the. The tea. You know, I love the tea. Do not deny me the tea, Netflix. 

Xavier [3:51 - 4:33]: Oh, amen. Speaking of the tea, the tea on this episode is we are on the road to the Roya Rumble. The episode begins with our. Our fine, fabulous friend stone cold Steve Austin standing outside in the. Cold in the arena. And basically, he's like. So I hear that everyone wants to put up their little target on me in the royal Rumble. Well, turns out, not gonna work for me. Austin strikes first. Basically, he's like, all of these. All these guys got pagers, and when they see the 316 on their little pagers, they know that those asses belong to me. And you're like, oh, damn. 

Kelsey Silva [4:33 - 4:35]: All right, I'm about to buy a pager. 

Xavier [4:35 - 4:50]: No, 100% mean that. 100%. I'm about to go back in time, give me some retro tech just so this man can claim it. Yeah. So we're starting. We're starting it off. 

Kelsey Silva [4:50 - 4:59]: Right off the bat, what was I supposed to do? He. He said, wearing those jeans. His fault, his fault, his fault. 

Xavier [5:00 - 5:18]: So basically, he goes on to round out the promo. And I love this line. He goes, do on to others before they do onto me. And I love that. And like, for me, coming up every season, that feels right. That feels. Oh, the cardinal honest and true. 

Kelsey Silva [5:19 - 5:33]: Nothing. Nothing is more dangerous than a cardinal fire sign. I don't know. It just. It feel feels like. Like. Like a bowser blast of. Just a fireball. Just here. I Kool Aid, man. We're not even opening the door. We're busting through. 

Xavier [5:33 - 5:54]: I am, like. I am, like, not myself until I get to this season. And then I screech past and just like a blaze of glory. And then I burn out. And to Repeat the cycle 100. I'm like Mercury. You know, I get real close to the sun, but I got a long. 

Kelsey Silva [5:54 - 5:58]: Loop on the way back. That is so. 

Xavier [5:59 - 6:00]: That's so funny. 

Kelsey Silva [6:00 - 6:01]: I love that. 

Xavier [6:01 - 6:16]: Thank you. Thank you. All right, let's get into it. So I love this. I love that. Basically, this entire episode is just like Jack in the Box, just stone cold. 

Kelsey Silva [6:16 - 6:31]: He's like. And he just comes out of nowhere. He's like, ba, ba. And I just didn't expect him at all. Like, every time I'd be like, no, him too. You're gonna get him, too. A damn. Oh, damn. 

Xavier [6:31 - 6:37]: I was like, what? No, because there were. There were often ones where we're just like, what did he do? What he do to you? 

Kelsey Silva [6:38 - 6:40]: He was just there. He was just in the proximity. 

Xavier [6:40 - 6:47]: He's in the Royal Rumbles, therefore, literally. 

Kelsey Silva [6:47 - 6:48]: I love it. 

Xavier [6:48 - 6:49]: So. 

Kelsey Silva [6:49 - 7:12]: And the Stone Cold center is just so objectively funny because if you look at it like from. It's him just like dropping down. Okay, that's exactly what I was gonna say. It's just him like dropping you on your neck while he ba bong on his little butt. Like, not that it's little, but like, that's like, he just like. It's so objectively funny, but also so serious. 

Xavier [7:12 - 7:19]: No, because I like, sometimes I really expect like, coins to like, fall out. Like just. You know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [7:19 - 7:21]: The mar. Oh, he ground pounded. 

Xavier [7:21 - 7:23]: No, 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [7:23 - 7:25]: Going to the secret tunnel. 

Xavier [7:25 - 7:33]: Yeah. The stunner is the ultimate ground pound, actually. 

Kelsey Silva [7:35 - 7:42]: I love it. Just, I want like, that noise. Someone to edit in that noise. Like, like the. 

Xavier [7:42 - 7:44]: I know the one. I know the one. I'll see if I can find it. 

Kelsey Silva [7:45 - 7:46]: Yeah. 

Xavier [7:46 - 8:12]: So that brings us into our first match. We have Farooq taking on Ken Shamrock. Apparently, Ken Shamrock in the last couple of weeks has been taking on members of the nation. We know that the Rock is going to put on the Intercontinental Championship on the line at the Royal Rumble because he's so generous. He's so kind. Granted, he didn't really win the title, so there's that. And then also. 

Kelsey Silva [8:12 - 8:14]: Is it still in the river? 

Xavier [8:14 - 8:17]: Like, I don't. We. I don't know. 

Kelsey Silva [8:18 - 8:19]: I guess we'll find out. 

Xavier [8:19 - 8:24]: I guess he got a new one. I don't know. I haven't seen him with the title since. 

Kelsey Silva [8:24 - 8:26]: Well, I guess we'll find out. Stay tuned. 

Xavier [8:30 - 8:49]: And that was a nice little sip break for everybody that was just listening to the show and wondered why it went silent. We both went to take a sip at the same time, and normally one of us continues the ball rolling, but we said, no, we're both gonna just have a moment. 

Kelsey Silva [8:49 - 8:52]: And I'm glad you effect. It was nice. 

Xavier [8:52 - 8:56]: Yeah. I'm glad you were all here with us for that little ASMR tidbit. 

Kelsey Silva [8:57 - 8:58]: Yeah, you're welcome. 

Xavier [8:58 - 9:29]: Yeah. Now, your regular scheduled programming. So over the last couple weeks, Ken Shamrock has been taking on members of the nation in preparation to take on the Rock for the Intercontinental Championship. Apparently last week, Ken got into a squirmish with Farouk in which he spine bustered him and gave him, like, internal injuries. Like he said, like a busted lung, which you know is not a medical term. 

Kelsey Silva [9:30 - 9:31]: A busted lung. 

Xavier [9:32 - 9:39]: But. But it really does feel like Farouk is really like, that girl when it comes to, like, internal injuries. 

Kelsey Silva [9:39 - 9:46]: I said. I was like, your calling card being like, internal bleeding is really crazy. 

Xavier [9:46 - 9:47]: Like, right? 

Kelsey Silva [9:47 - 9:50]: Because he was like. Ken Shamrock was like, la coughing up blood on the mat. 

Xavier [9:50 - 9:56]: And I was like, 100 Faruk's a bloodbender. Pass it on. Like, it's not right. Like, it's. 

Kelsey Silva [9:56 - 9:57]: Lock him up. 

Xavier [9:58 - 10:01]: It's not legal blood bending. It's not even a full movie. 

Kelsey Silva [10:01 - 10:02]: He's too powerful. 

Xavier [10:04 - 10:28]: So he's messing with people's insides. Apparently so. But they still were like, match this week must go on. And I was like, okay, guess his insides weren't busted that bad. That bad. Apparently, Farouk was like, voluntold by the Rock for this match. Which then goes to show, like, what we were talking about last week was like, leaders lead. Like, what? 

Kelsey Silva [10:28 - 10:29]: Leaders lead, diva. 

Xavier [10:29 - 10:33]: What do you mean you got voluntold to do this, man. 

Kelsey Silva [10:33 - 10:33]: Who's. 

Xavier [10:34 - 10:37]: You're supposed to be in charge. Who's telling you what to do? 

Kelsey Silva [10:38 - 10:47]: I swear. And when someone on commentary was like. And then the leader of the nation of domination, Farouk. And I was like, are we still calling him that? Yeah, because I don't know. 

Xavier [10:47 - 10:49]: Because I don't know about that. 

Kelsey Silva [10:49 - 10:53]: I don't know about that. Because Rocky didn't even come down to support his boy. I mean, he comes in, but not for that. 

Xavier [10:53 - 11:28]: No, no, no, no. So love that. So Farooq makes his entrance. He's chilling with the nation. They, you know, they squat around the ringside as they do. And then comes Ken Shamrock. My next note just says, ariana sweater paws. And I love that him and his little, like, robe when he comes out, I love it so much because he's, like, like, just touted as the world's most dangerous man. And he's, like, just coming down just like, look at like. Like, he's so. 

Kelsey Silva [11:28 - 11:30]: Baby girl, so cute. 

Xavier [11:30 - 11:32]: I'm like, thank you. 

Kelsey Silva [11:32 - 11:33]: Next. 

Xavier [11:33 - 11:38]: No, 100%. You're like, okay. Which is, like, him going through the members of the nation. 

Kelsey Silva [11:39 - 11:40]: Oh, my God. 

Xavier [11:41 - 12:23]: Literally. That's amazing. It's announced that both members of this match are going to be in the Royal Rumble. I'm just gonna name them as they. As they tell us they're gonna be in the Royal Rumble. Just. We have an idea going into it. Who's gonna be a part of it. Farouk is popping off on. On Shamrock's back for, like, I want to say, like, the first half of the match. And. Ooh, crowd sign stun me, Steve. Same, same, same from the hosts here. Just wanted to let you know, back in 1998, you were doing. We see you, we see you. And scene. 

Kelsey Silva [12:23 - 12:24]: Felt heard. 

Xavier [12:24 - 12:53]: Right, right, right, right. Your sign. Checked all the boxes and of course. So the Rock is coming down. We're getting more and more of that, like classic rock look, you know, the sunglasses, the outlandishly large because he's a giant man. And yeah, there's a lot of mugging to the camera. Just kind of watching the match. 

Kelsey Silva [12:53 - 12:55]: Relatable content. 

Xavier [12:57 - 12:58]: So good. 

Kelsey Silva [12:58 - 13:08]: So much bugging to the camera. She said, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 

Xavier [13:09 - 13:19]: No, please, it's fine. They. They know what they're getting into. And if you're new here, well, welcome. Go back a couple episodes, get a running start because this one's going to be off the rails. 

Kelsey Silva [13:20 - 13:30]: I literally feel like that villain, like train, like I got keep going like this and like making the train dress go like, like derailing us into the wall. 

Xavier [13:30 - 13:52]: Who cares? Sorry. So the Rock's coming down. He's mugging to the camera. He's doing as he does, just becoming the Rock more and more. Yes, very handsome Squidward of it all. Sham is getting better at that. Hurricane Rana. I'm no longer fearing for his life when he does it now. 

Kelsey Silva [13:52 - 13:56]: Thank you. And practice makes perfect. 

Xavier [13:56 - 14:08]: So the Rock comes down. He has a little council with the boys on the outside of the ring. And like, they're mad confused cuz they were like, what are you talking about? Because what you're talking about was not what he was talking about. 

Kelsey Silva [14:09 - 14:12]: So y'all are saying two different things and they're not adding up right. 

Xavier [14:12 - 15:06]: 100. The one on the one is equaling eight. And so they, for some reason, instead of just defaulting to the leader orders, they default to whatever the Rock wanted to do. So comma at some point grabs a chair and you can see that Farouk is like visually, like just mad confused. He's like, what's going on? I didn't ask. None of that. So it looks like Farouk is going to Irish Whip Shanrock into the corner and comma's gonna lift the chair up. But unfortunately for Farouk, he gets reversed. He takes the chair in the corner, and that allows for Shamrock to put on the ankle lock and pick up the victory. Not a good look for. 

Kelsey Silva [15:07 - 15:12]: Not a good look. Everyone's getting fired. It's gonna be the mass firing of 1998. 

Xavier [15:13 - 15:20]: 100. It's time for the sequel. You know, it's like the nation's Yearly trimming of the fat. 

Kelsey Silva [15:20 - 15:30]: Like, yeah, the. Why can't I think of the word the? Like, cuts. Budget cuts. I don't know, Something like that. 

Xavier [15:30 - 15:32]: Budget cuts. 

Kelsey Silva [15:32 - 15:51]: But I just want to say, though, that Baruch, no comma, and dlo, the last time we watched, they were like, sure, we'll come, right? Roger's like, fruit, comma, let's go. And they were like, or dlo Farouk. And he was like, right? And Farouk was like, hello. 

Xavier [15:51 - 15:51]: Right? 

Kelsey Silva [15:52 - 15:57]: And now this time, suddenly they're like, we. But Farouk's the leader, right? 

Xavier [15:57 - 15:58]: Like, what? 

Kelsey Silva [15:58 - 16:02]: I don't know. Like, which one is it? Is he the leader? I don't know. 

Xavier [16:02 - 16:04]: It doesn't feel like it. 

Kelsey Silva [16:04 - 16:06]: I'm saying that something's gonna happen. 

Xavier [16:06 - 16:13]: So Faroog and Kama are arguing on the outside, like, after match, because Fruit's like, hey, who told you to do all that? 

Kelsey Silva [16:13 - 16:13]: Yeah. 

Xavier [16:15 - 17:30]: So. And then we have this face off between the Rock and Shamrock happening in the ring simultaneously. And that's when stone cold Steve Austin reminding us that both participants are in the Royal Rumble, stuns both the Rock and Shamrock, leaving them both laid out and putting himself over in the process. We love to see it. Yeah, it was great. Next we have this hilarious, like, just a little promo for a Paul Bear, like, promo that's going to happen, like, later in the evening. And the photo they keep using is funniest. Just. It is. It is exact. It is like the click baitiest photo. Like, yes. Like, it was. It's the photo of, like, when a celebrity gets, like, arrested for something like, so minor and it's gonna ruin the tour fully. And they use the world tour whacked out photo like you could find. Oh, I love it. Like, I guess, what, every time it's like Amanda Vines at her lowest. You know what I mean? Like, it's just like, why'd you have to use that photo? Like, why is it literally, it's always the mug sh. 

Kelsey Silva [17:30 - 17:39]: Photo. Like, Lindy Lohan partying in Greece and it's her mug shop photo. And it's like, what, like from 2016? 

Xavier [17:39 - 18:00]: No, 100%. And like, oh, don't even get me started. And then like, God forbid, we're like, we lived in the air of, like, the Perez Hilton, where it's like. Where it's like. Like, here's like Lindsay lohan snatch from 2006. Like, here's it today. Like, why are they different? And you're like, what are you? What are you people? 

Kelsey Silva [18:00 - 18:11]: Age change, grow. But yeah, no, it's Literally like it. It'd be the COVID of his YouTube video going like, Kane broke up with me. Not Clickbait. 

Xavier [18:13 - 18:21]: And he's like, right, no. Where's my husband? 

Kelsey Silva [18:23 - 18:25]: Not Clickbait is my favorite. 

Xavier [18:25 - 18:26]: So crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [18:28 - 18:31]: Come home, Kane. Not clickbait. 

Xavier [18:31 - 18:34]: 100. I promise I can change. 

Kelsey Silva [18:36 - 18:38]: It's 10pm do you know where your children are? 

Xavier [18:38 - 20:06]: Literally not Paul Bear. He has not Marion idea of where his children are. James Cornette comes down to the ring and he's got two just officials with him. We find out that it is the president and vice president of the. The nwa. The NWA back in the territories was a. Was the largest and oldest territory there ever was essentially. And because Jim Cornett's kind of on this like, traditional kick, I guess he still is. He's trying to reintroduce like prestige and classic wrestling matches and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? So while he's trying to do this, it is announced that this following match will be for the NWA North American Championship. And we're like, okay, random but sure. And then we find out that it's Barry Windham or Blackjack Wyndham as we know him, half of the tag team the New. The New Blackjacks and will be taking on Jeff Jarrett of the formerly Double J, formerly in wcw, currently really, really into Aztec Prince. Like, you know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [20:06 - 20:16]: Like, yeah, it was. And I guess because I was like, why is Blackjack Windham on here? And I guess they said he used to be a title holder with N.W.A. 

Xavier [20:16 - 21:26]: Yeah, he was. He was like at N.W.A. and like he was a like, like back in the day. A like pretty. He's up there as far as like a contender for like heavyweight championships. Like, he was like somebody whose name was in that mix a lot. But it's just like it's been a long time since that was the case. A lot of this audience doesn't know that. And like, it just feels so weird and forced. Which I mean is the point because it ends up being all like a ruse anyway. So, like, sure. So let's just get into the match. Jared is showing off basically. For the beginning part of the match. Jim Cornette is big nerding on commentary about the history of the NWA and going back all the way to Abraham Lincoln, which I'm. I have no idea, but sure, go to town. But you know, I mean, like, if you're gonna have someone be annoying to be annoying sake. Like, Jim. 

Kelsey Silva [21:27 - 21:28]: Jim's your guy. 

Xavier [21:28 - 21:37]: He's doing a swell job. It's just like silly because, like, I liked like, not a couple weeks ago when he was just like on commentary. And I just enjoyed that. 

Kelsey Silva [21:38 - 21:38]: Absolutely. 

Xavier [21:38 - 21:44]: When he's doing this, I'm like, ugh. Now he's like playing a character extra. And it's like, extra. 

Kelsey Silva [21:44 - 21:47]: As soon as I, I saw that tennis racket, I was like, no. 

Xavier [21:47 - 21:49]: Oh yeah. He's in manager mode. 

Kelsey Silva [21:49 - 21:53]: I don't like that. At least take it out of the case. 

Xavier [21:53 - 21:55]: For what? It's not like he's playing. 

Kelsey Silva [22:00 - 22:03]: He said, get your, get your steps up, Serena. 

Xavier [22:03 - 22:26]: Like doing with that. So Jim Cornette's on commentary, just like really hammering home that he wants to bring back rough, rugged competition. And I'm like, are you trying to like, are you trying to wrestle them, Jim? Like, relax. I. You're fine. 

Kelsey Silva [22:26 - 22:39]: Also, rough, rugged wrestling, that's not what this is. I mean, it's, this is like. Do you know what I mean? It's like more polished, more. It's not like ecw. Rough, rugged wrestling. 

Xavier [22:40 - 22:42]: No, no, he hates ecw, which, which. 

Kelsey Silva [22:42 - 22:46]: Is what I'm saying. It's like you're saying you want to bring back rough, rugged wrestling. 

Xavier [22:46 - 22:50]: No, but he wants it to be like traditional and. Yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [22:51 - 22:51]: Right. 

Xavier [22:51 - 23:49]: In the spirit of competition and all of that. Right, right. So we get a weird moment in the match when one of the, either the vice president or the president of the NWA comes in, like, is basically like distracting the official and we're like, what's going on? And then Jim Cornette runs up into the ring while Barry Windham is trying to give Jeff Jarrett a superplex off the top rope. He comes in swinging that tennis racket, hits Windham. They both go down. Cornett rolls out of the ring, Jarrett picks up the victory, wins. This title that most people didn't know about before will probably not be defended again. And like, what was the point of this? 

Kelsey Silva [23:49 - 23:51]: I don't. That's weird. 

Xavier [23:51 - 24:09]: I mean, it was just like a weird segment I don't think we. Anybody really needed. But it was buttoned up nicely when Steve Austin comes out. And because Jeff Jarrett once again is going to be in the Royal Rumble, he gets a stone cold stunner for existing. Love to see it. 

Kelsey Silva [24:09 - 24:17]: Love. And my favorite thing about the so called center beside him dropping on his little tushy is that he imitates their little moves afterwards. 

Xavier [24:18 - 24:21]: So he was like, it's truly a classic. 

Kelsey Silva [24:22 - 24:29]: I think it's, it's so great because even when he does it later, it's the. 

Xavier [24:30 - 24:34]: And it, it's so good. I love to see it. I Love it. 

Kelsey Silva [24:34 - 24:34]: I love it. 

Xavier [24:35 - 25:27]: So next we get a Ken Shamrock interview and he's basically asked about the Royal Rumble and what his thoughts on Steve Austin and what just occurred in the ring and blah, blah, blah. And it was just, it was just kind of a. A standard Ken Shamrock promo. It was okay. It was fine. Basically. It was just like war. The Royal Rumble, like, you're a marked man, I'm a marked man. He kind of sounded like he was crying, but it could just be like he's still out of breath or whatever. But it, he was just like. I would love nothing more than for it to just be the two of us at the end having knocked out all these like 29 other men. It'd be. We could go like mono. Mono. And I'm like. And kiss. And I'm like. I don't know. 

Kelsey Silva [25:27 - 25:40]: He was like, just you and me alone. Sweaty. Something about being marked men. Yeah. Anyway, can I call you or. 

Xavier [25:41 - 25:41]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [25:42 - 25:43]: It's knuckle up time. 

Xavier [25:43 - 25:46]: Right, Right. Close, close. 

Kelsey Silva [25:46 - 25:50]: And you know, I think I summed it up perfectly. 

Xavier [25:50 - 26:10]: Yeah. Yeah, that was it. That was pretty much it. So moving on. So sunny. Because she has, I guess nothing better to do. Comes out in a schoolgirl outfit to announce this next match. No, no. It's just something about. 

Kelsey Silva [26:10 - 26:11]: It's no. 

Xavier [26:11 - 26:25]: Someone who is really. I don't, I don't know if she's 30, but she's pushing 30 at this point here in a like head to toe school girl outfit. 

Kelsey Silva [26:25 - 26:25]: Okay. 

Xavier [26:25 - 26:29]: Out of the context of like a performance, I'm very confused. Used. 

Kelsey Silva [26:30 - 26:32]: Yes. Okay, here's the thing. 

Xavier [26:32 - 26:35]: I think, and I guess this is a performance, but you're just renouncing. 

Kelsey Silva [26:36 - 26:51]: Right. And the thing is I don't care what anybody wears at whatever age and do just do it well. And this was just not done well. I'm so sorry. Like, I don't care what you do. Like you want to wear your thing, whatever, I don't care. But you better do it. 

Xavier [26:51 - 26:52]: You're better than. 

Kelsey Silva [26:52 - 27:31]: I know, I know. But the. What really got me was like her hair was a mess. Like it looked like she decided to do this at the last second. And she just looked. And God bless her. Like, God bless her. I mean, but she looked crazy girl. And we obviously we know she's devolving on some recreational substances at this point, but it's apparent, like the schoolgirl outfit made no sense. It wasn't even cute. I don't, I didn't like it at all. And I wish that she just, she was really Killing it for like a couple weeks there. And so I just. Now she set a certain standard for me and I can't go back. 

Xavier [27:31 - 27:32]: I can't go back. 

Kelsey Silva [27:32 - 27:41]: Schoolgirl is such a low, low hanging fruit after the. The things that we've been experiencing. That is low hanging fruit. I don't want to see it. 

Xavier [27:41 - 27:43]: I don't do better. 

Kelsey Silva [27:43 - 27:46]: I don't want to see it be better. 

Xavier [27:48 - 28:21]: Amazing. So she is the special guest ring announcer for the Recon and Sniper versus Eight Ball and skull match. Oh, yes. What a joy it is to have Jackal out here again. Jackal's gross is my first note. That's all. I think that Eight Fallen Skull got some updated music. Not 100, sure, but me and Kelsey were, like, fairly fine. Positive. I felt. 

Kelsey Silva [28:21 - 28:22]: I think it's new. 

Xavier [28:22 - 28:32]: I. I felt like it was. It was updated or like, played from a different part or something because it was the first time I had any entrance. 

Kelsey Silva [28:32 - 28:49]: It was the first. Yeah, it was the first time we both went, like, always play. But I was like, am I usually too angry by the motorcycles to notice the music or are they too loud that we don't even hear it? Like, I don't know. Did they get the. A little silencer or something? I don't know. 

Xavier [28:49 - 28:51]: I doubt that. Oh, I don't know. 

Kelsey Silva [28:51 - 28:53]: Those hogs were squealing. 

Xavier [28:53 - 28:54]: Amen. 

Kelsey Silva [28:56 - 28:57]: Amen, brother. 

Xavier [28:59 - 29:42]: So Jackal joins commentary. He goes on to call everybody sheep. He's asked where Kurgan is. And Kurgan, he goes, oh, well, I am the alpha and omega of Kurgan's life. And I really need him to stop using that paraphrasing because, like, no, because it just. It just doesn't suit your role as a manager. Like, because it makes it sound like you're cooking him eggs in the morning. And also, like, teaching him, like, you're his teacher. You're his. You know what I mean? Like, it just. Right. 

Kelsey Silva [29:42 - 29:44]: Like something sinister. 

Xavier [29:44 - 29:49]: A foot here. I'm just saying. And I can't be the only one who thinks so. 

Kelsey Silva [29:49 - 29:55]: No. And then when the way it ends, we were both like, right, look up there. 

Xavier [29:55 - 30:07]: You'll see. Yeah, because I. I say I have a note that says, like, it feels like a, Like a. Like a not whimsical Cronk and Yzma kind of situation. 

Kelsey Silva [30:09 - 30:17]: Oh, my God, it does. Except Kurgan is just. Just scary. And Kronk is like, he. He'll bake spinach puffs and he's delightful. 

Xavier [30:18 - 30:18]: Right? 

Kelsey Silva [30:19 - 30:22]: It's like, yeah, it's like cursed, cursed company. 

Xavier [30:24 - 31:06]: Right? So we find out that all, basically all the members of this match are going to be in the Royal Rumble. At one point, the Truth Commission misses this giant splash off the top rope. And it just looked heinous, but no, 100%. So at one point, Kurgan comes down the, like, ramp way. But Mama looks like she just got done on the shitter or something. Because, like, why do you. Why were you walking like that? 

Kelsey Silva [31:06 - 31:09]: Like, oh, my God. 

Xavier [31:11 - 31:27]: The way he was, like, just, like, wide walking. Like he had just been run through. Ms. Thing. It was either out or in. That man was ran through. 

Kelsey Silva [31:29 - 31:32]: It doesn't matter which way. But something occurred. 

Xavier [31:32 - 31:34]: But he was affected. 

Kelsey Silva [31:34 - 31:47]: He was marked. Not safe. Like, no, I said he walked out after. After Jackal said he's. I'm his alpha and omega. And he literally came out like, mom, I pooped my pants. 

Xavier [31:47 - 32:03]: Like, no, literally, itchy booty. He said he came out with that itchy booty. And I was like, girl, turn around, Take that ass to the back, Get a shower, go to bed. This night is over for you, girly. 

Kelsey Silva [32:04 - 32:05]: Hit the showers. 

Xavier [32:05 - 32:34]: No. But the DOA wins the matchup in the hubbub of Kurgan making his way down to the ring, which I don't even know how. What happened? Kurgan comes in up, like. Because he's just like. Like, yeah. And it's fully. Just strangling people. And then. And then as he's like, choking out like, eight ball skull, one of the bald twins. 

Kelsey Silva [32:35 - 32:38]: He's one bald. 

Xavier [32:39 - 33:11]: When the bald, you know, just try to make, like, juice out of their brains and like. And then Jackal just, like, jumps into the ring and just slaps Kurgan, like, square in the face and then rolls out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp just like, peace signing, hair, like, flowing behind him. And then. And to me, I'm sorry, you don't do that to anybody. You're not. I don't care. 

Kelsey Silva [33:11 - 33:21]: That's because the difference is you would slap anybody. You're. They just get up and follow you. And that's what Korean did. 

Xavier [33:21 - 33:25]: What I'm saying? And he got up and he was just like. He said, oh. 

Kelsey Silva [33:25 - 33:27]: He's like, excuse me. 

Xavier [33:30 - 33:31]: The Mrs. Is waiting. 

Kelsey Silva [33:34 - 33:38]: Like, what? And the thing is. 

Xavier [33:41 - 33:45]: The little puppy walk and shake was crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [33:48 - 34:06]: Not my first time so good. But the way. Because they were like. They were like, like, oh, you better get in there and stop. And he goes, okay. Walks in and then just not. Doesn't even look to see the results. Just immediately hops out of the ring and. 

Xavier [34:07 - 34:08]: No, that Was it? 

Kelsey Silva [34:08 - 34:10]: And Kurgan just goes, okay. 

Xavier [34:11 - 34:14]: Crazy. Absolute insanity is what that was. 

Kelsey Silva [34:15 - 34:18]: That's. And that's something else. 

Xavier [34:18 - 34:25]: It truly, truly was something new. Yeah. If anything, he at least has one member of his. 

Kelsey Silva [34:25 - 34:28]: His cult that is loyal. 

Xavier [34:30 - 34:32]: Loyal to the soil. Absolutely. 

Kelsey Silva [34:32 - 34:38]: The way the other two in the boat neck, shiny green shirts, they cannot. 

Xavier [34:38 - 34:39]: We're not getting anything done. Really. 

Kelsey Silva [34:39 - 34:41]: No. Cannot abide. 

Xavier [34:41 - 34:46]: They didn't even win the match. That's what I'm saying. 

Kelsey Silva [34:46 - 34:47]: What a sin. 

Xavier [34:47 - 34:48]: Truly unfortunate. 

Kelsey Silva [34:48 - 34:49]: Bye, girl. 

Xavier [34:49 - 35:18]: So next, we are treated to a DX promo. Triple H is still suffering from a dislocated kneecap. Apparently. Apparently is a real injury. And so they come out to the ring, and it's ridiculous from the rip because Triple H is just staring in China's tits. And he goes. It's like the sun. You know, you shouldn't, like, stare, but you just can't help it. And you're like, okay, girl, pop off. 

Kelsey Silva [35:20 - 35:52]: And the whole time, like, Shawn Michaels. Because then Triple H is talking the whole time, Shawn Michaels behind, keeps going like this. And then she looks at me, goes. And they just did that the whole time. But here's. Here's why I'll allow it. Here's why I will allow it. Anything that makes China more, like, when they express how feminine she is. When most people are writing, like, is that a man? Like, right, I will. I'll get on board with this. Like, hey, look at this gorgeous woman. I can't stop staring at that. 

Xavier [35:52 - 35:59]: Also, at this point, I'm pretty sure her and Triple H are, like, very much for sure. Yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [35:59 - 36:14]: No doubt about it. But just, like, I think the. I'm okay with it. Only because most people are like, what is that? Is it a cyborg? And then. Yeah, she's a woman, Right? Gorgeous woman. 

Xavier [36:14 - 37:00]: Love it. Love it. Love to see it. So Triple H essentially moves on with the. The promo. And basically, he calls out Owen Hart and he's like, you go from being the hunter to hunted. And like, you had so much to say. You said it was such conviction, but you didn't have what it takes to back it up. You didn't have the goods. He said, you walked up to the plate with no bat and Triple H had to supply the lumber. And then he goes, don't worry. To the female in the audience this evening, there's plenty more wood where that came from. And you're like, God damn. Yeah. He. 

Kelsey Silva [37:00 - 37:02]: I fear I may swoon. 

Xavier [37:02 - 37:04]: I fear I may have. 

Kelsey Silva [37:04 - 37:10]: Please take me to the chaise lounger. I have a touch of the Vapors. 

Xavier [37:10 - 37:10]: Ew. 

Kelsey Silva [37:10 - 37:11]: Gonna grab. 

Xavier [37:14 - 37:15]: Not the Vapors. 

Kelsey Silva [37:15 - 37:19]: The Vapors, girl. So get the smelling soul. 

Xavier [37:20 - 37:53]: So Owen. Owen Hart ends up on the Titan Tron. And basically he goes on to express that this feud is now getting personal and ugly. And he goes on, but he's like, but I have a touch of a heart in here. He's like, I want you to heal up nicely, and when you're at 100, I'm gonna break your other kneecap. Because. Because essentially he. What is he. He goes on to just be like, something about a black heart and having no black heart. And I was like. But you said earlier. 

Kelsey Silva [37:53 - 38:00]: You just said, I know. So I was like, yeah, it kind of caved in on itself. The intention was good, but it. 

Xavier [38:00 - 38:00]: The. 

Kelsey Silva [38:00 - 38:02]: The logic collapsed quickly. 

Xavier [38:02 - 38:20]: Right, right, right. So I feel like we're still, like, sussing out, like, where Owen lands in all of this. I, like, really, to me, is, like, the victim of this all because he has to stay here and deal with it. You know what I mean? Like, yes, he didn't do this. 

Kelsey Silva [38:20 - 38:32]: I know. And I. We talked about this, I think, before, but, like, I. It. I just can't imagine what that must be like. And I like the idea of this character. 

Xavier [38:32 - 38:32]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [38:33 - 38:44]: But I, like, I. And I want to get more into, like. I wish he would dig more into, like, the. Like, how he screws people. Like, he literally screwed over his brother. It's the Montreal. 

Xavier [38:44 - 38:44]: Whatever. 

Kelsey Silva [38:44 - 39:07]: Like. Like, I like the idea of him being this, like, vigilante, like, going after the people who, like, screw other people who cheat who. Whatever. Like, I think you can take it a lot of places because he could even take it, like, you know, to the. The New Age Outlaws. He could take it to the Godwins. He, like, there's more mobility there if he just becomes a person who's like, the vigilante who stops people from. From not having an honest match, like, bell to bell. 

Xavier [39:07 - 39:10]: Right, right, right. Just. I can become Batman, right? 

Kelsey Silva [39:10 - 39:16]: Yes. I can see the vision. I just need the execution for sure. 

Xavier [39:16 - 39:22]: So more on that. Love to see him find his way. I'm glad he's still around because I love him same. 

Kelsey Silva [39:22 - 39:29]: And he looks. I like that he mean now, but, like, not in a boyish me. Like. And I loved the boyish, bratty, mean. 

Xavier [39:29 - 39:30]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [39:30 - 39:33]: But now I love. He's the last man standing mean. 

Xavier [39:34 - 39:51]: He's like, life, you have beat me down, like, and now I gotta punch up, like. No, literally. Oh, love that. A. We are treated to a different hour two song Than we have been accustomed to. That was a ride. 

Kelsey Silva [39:52 - 40:02]: A ride. The two of us were like. We're like, oh, it's hour two, la la, la. We're like, adjusting our notes. And then we were both like, who is this? What did that? What is that? 

Xavier [40:02 - 40:09]: There was. There was lots of helicopter. Like, shots of a helicopter. Not shots from a helicopter, just of one. Yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [40:09 - 40:10]: Searchlight. 

Xavier [40:10 - 40:12]: Right. And I was like, okay, they're looking. 

Kelsey Silva [40:12 - 40:14]: For the belt and the legs. Lake in the river. 

Xavier [40:14 - 40:22]: No, fully. Still at it. Yeah. I don't know. Interesting. I don't know if I Love was. 

Kelsey Silva [40:22 - 40:26]: Called, like, A New Perspective or a different. The song or something. 

Xavier [40:26 - 40:28]: Yeah, More on that next week. 

Kelsey Silva [40:28 - 40:33]: I just got the lyrics down to the other one. I was not ready to switch. I was not ready to move over and. 

Xavier [40:33 - 40:45]: But here we are, alas. But they have to do something because that intro has that. They at least need to change the intro video package because, like, nobody in there. Nobody in there works here anymore, babe. Like, it's time. 

Kelsey Silva [40:46 - 40:48]: Except Stone Cold. He's the only one. 

Xavier [40:48 - 40:52]: No, honestly, I think Ahmed too, but, like, barely. Like, where's he been? 

Kelsey Silva [40:53 - 40:56]: So much dark and not enough sky. You know what I'm saying? 

Xavier [40:56 - 41:10]: Right, so next we have Savio Vega taking on Owen Hart. Oh, they have to stop letting the Borico sing their own theme song. That's terrible. Really terrible. 

Kelsey Silva [41:10 - 41:11]: Really rough stuff. 

Xavier [41:12 - 41:13]: Yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [41:13 - 41:17]: And they seem to really enjoy themselves. And that hurts me. 

Xavier [41:17 - 41:22]: Right. But for the betterment of all, there are other ways to enjoy yourself. 

Kelsey Silva [41:23 - 41:24]: Yeah. I'm sorry. 

Xavier [41:24 - 41:31]: Right. You like. I. I am of the. If your enjoyment hurts others, don't do it. 

Kelsey Silva [41:31 - 41:38]: And that's a. You know what? And that's a great philosophy. I'm here for that. And you know what? How about give them the mics. 

Xavier [41:38 - 41:40]: Just cut them off. Yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [41:40 - 41:43]: Then they feel special. So fun. 

Xavier [41:43 - 41:47]: Something. Let them. Or record it in the studio and fix it up. Like, give me something. 

Kelsey Silva [41:47 - 41:48]: Something. 

Xavier [41:48 - 41:49]: Something. Like something. 

Kelsey Silva [41:49 - 41:50]: Not this. 

Xavier [41:50 - 42:05]: So Jerry has a funny on commentary. He goes, so good. Owen's making his entrance to the ring. He goes, stew and Helen Hart produce more tragedies than Shakespeare. And you're like, like, stop. 

Kelsey Silva [42:05 - 42:11]: He said they have 12. They have 12 kids. Damn. They produce more tragedies than Shakespeare. 

Xavier [42:11 - 42:15]: And you're like, terrible, terrible. 

Kelsey Silva [42:15 - 42:18]: Honestly, I love that, though, as a read. 

Xavier [42:18 - 42:18]: Uhhuh. 

Kelsey Silva [42:19 - 42:20]: That's a good one. 

Xavier [42:20 - 42:24]: That's. I know. And you were so disappointed to give him one. But you were like, I have to. 

Kelsey Silva [42:24 - 42:26]: I was, but I must. I must. 

Xavier [42:28 - 42:29]: Fair is fair is fair is fair. 

Kelsey Silva [42:30 - 42:31]: Fair is fair is fair. 

Xavier [42:31 - 42:42]: Le man. So this match was probably my favorite of the of the evening. Love both. As far as like in the ring. Love them both. Love them. 

Kelsey Silva [42:42 - 42:45]: They both have the most gorgeous spinning heel kicks and I've been saying that. 

Xavier [42:45 - 43:19]: No honestly because it was just back to back to back things of beauty. Owen had a like a missile drop kick from the top rope and like a kick a nip up like after. So hot. Love him. DX shows up on stage, they're just kind of like hanging again. Triple H is wheelchair ridden and the match gets taken to the outside. HBK is kind of like golf clapping on the stage. Such a twat. Oh, he's so annoying. 

Kelsey Silva [43:19 - 43:19]: I love it. 

Xavier [43:19 - 43:27]: I love him but he's so, so petty and does not waste those camera minutes. I'll give them that. 

Kelsey Silva [43:27 - 43:28]: Yep. 

Xavier [43:28 - 43:50]: Basically at one point Owen gets bugged by those pretty cools on the outside of the ring. The rat comes to a second referee comes down because there's so much chaos going on that he has to come down and try to eject the rest of the bodyguards while the match is continuing. While DX is still on the ramp, which is a separate other problem, this. 

Kelsey Silva [43:50 - 43:52]: Ref like really thought he could be got. 

Xavier [43:52 - 44:06]: God no. Really and truly. Owen's spinning heel kick, Chef's kiss note followed by a sharpshooter. Love to see it. I feel like seeing the sharpshooter now feels extra. Like do it for your brother, you. 

Kelsey Silva [44:06 - 44:07]: Know what I mean? 

Xavier [44:08 - 44:34]: So love to see that. One of the Boricos tried to enter the ring while he's administering the sharpshooter. He gets out, hits that member, more chaos. Owen rolls up, Savio Vega still gets the victory and then immediately gets up out of the rolled up pin and is pointing up a DX and starts talking his. And I love to see it. I thought that was great. 

Kelsey Silva [44:35 - 44:46]: Love that. Rolls up, gets to an immediately launches himself up and just goes, you right? 100 I was like me, you mean it? 

Xavier [44:46 - 45:10]: So he goes out of the ring and starts trying to make his way up to dx. Very shortly after, gets immediately mugged by Los Boniquas on the stage. And then he, they bring him up to DX where we find out that they have been paid by DX to administer said mugging and yeah, boo. 

Kelsey Silva [45:13 - 45:14]: Right? 

Xavier [45:15 - 45:19]: No, not taking the bribe. 

Kelsey Silva [45:19 - 45:20]: I don't like that. 

Xavier [45:20 - 45:22]: Not taking the bribe. 

Kelsey Silva [45:22 - 45:23]: I don't like that. 

Xavier [45:23 - 45:37]: We can do better. It's no, but next we have, we have the very tauted interview with Paul Bear coming down to the ring. And he look a mess. Mama. 

Kelsey Silva [45:37 - 45:38]: Honey. 

Xavier [45:38 - 45:45]: He came down looking. No sleep, bed, head like. Like clothes from yester year. That man looked a mess. 

Kelsey Silva [45:45 - 45:47]: Busted, haggard. 

Xavier [45:47 - 45:54]: And honestly, what we say, if you're unproblematic, you age gracefully. 

Kelsey Silva [45:54 - 45:58]: You age gracefully. Problematic. You lose. You are bald. 

Xavier [45:58 - 45:58]: Milk. 

Kelsey Silva [45:59 - 46:03]: Milk. You age like milk spoiled. Sp. 

Xavier [46:04 - 47:07]: So he's. He's comes down to the ring looking disheveled. Ax Jeff, he grabs the microphone and he's like, undertaker, I hope hbk destroys you. I curse the ground you walk on. I hate your guts. And he's like, because of you, I've lost Kane. And then what? He has a. A line where he's just like, it's hard, cam. He left me. And I swear to God, I'm gonna find that gif and I am going to use it to come. He left me crying. He's like, I've looked everywhere. And then he starts talking, like, directly, like, to Kane. He's like, I know. I know you're out there. He's like, I took care of you. Please come home. Please come home. I'm like, oh, this is gaslighter supreme. Tastes real good, don't it? Oh, crazy, crazy, crazy thoughts. I know you have thoughts. 

Kelsey Silva [47:07 - 47:42]: I was fed today. I thought I. No, I. I didn't really have time for dinner before we started. But it doesn't matter. I was fed because you look so dumb right now standing outside. No, trying to apologize. So ugly when you cry. I was like, busted. Bastisha Turlington Dupree iii. I do not care. Take that. 

Xavier [47:45 - 47:47]: I'm dead, you. 

Kelsey Silva [47:47 - 47:59]: Oh, you know what? I love dessert. And this was just desserts. I'm so sorry. Eat up. Get your spoon. Get your hot fudge. Get your whipped cream and love that. 

Xavier [47:59 - 48:01]: That. I love that so much. 

Kelsey Silva [48:01 - 48:04]: Right after the ides of March. Brutus. That's right. 

Xavier [48:04 - 48:21]: I love that. I love that fam. So Kelsey got hers this evening. I'm sweating 100%. As you should be. As you should be. Because we. We still got more. We. We're still on the road, baby. The witch's road. No, I'm just kidding. 

Kelsey Silva [48:23 - 48:25]: Sorry. We don't need any more singing. 

Xavier [48:25 - 48:53]: No, I really do. Eat that up. And then so immediately following that promo, we get brought to backstage because something's going on. And of course, it's stone cold Steve Austin. And of course, he's attacked someone else. This time, you hear him talking his to Mark Henry, the world's strongest man. He has a table overturned on top of him while the headbangers act poorly above that. So they were like, we. 

Kelsey Silva [48:53 - 48:53]: What? 

Xavier [48:54 - 48:56]: What happened? That was so crazy, man. 

Kelsey Silva [48:56 - 48:58]: He's going bazaar. 

Xavier [48:59 - 49:04]: Yeah. No, I was just like, okay, sure. 

Kelsey Silva [49:04 - 49:04]: Thank you. 

Xavier [49:04 - 49:54]: And honestly, the weight of that performance was really what crushed Mark Henry and. And not the table. So I love to see it. So next we get a kind of video package as to how Mark Miro has been treating the lovely sable as of late, making her wear a potato sack one week dressing up in a reindeer costume another week, basically being verbally abusive every week. So really not great stuff. And then we find out that Tom Brandy, formerly Salvatore Sincere, which I'm just gonna say. 

Kelsey Silva [49:55 - 49:55]: Say it. 

Xavier [49:55 - 50:36]: For this say it storyline that you have. Why would you. I'm. I would believe Salvatore Sincere would be the one doing this nonsense, not Tom Brandy. I see. I would. To me, I hear the name Salvatore Sincere, I think of some guy who's, like, smooth, who would choose to be. Who shows up at the right moment, who, like, like, finds the. Who finds the girl who needs the shoulder to cry on, blah, blah, blah. I believe that guy would do that. Tom Brandy. Who the is Tom Brandy, as in. 

Kelsey Silva [50:36 - 50:43]: Brandy, You're a fine girl. What a good wife. You would be crazy. But my life, my love and my lady is the sea. 

Xavier [50:43 - 50:46]: No, that's amazing. No, no. 

Kelsey Silva [50:46 - 50:48]: That's all I can think of. But I just. 

Xavier [50:49 - 50:50]: And terrible. 

Kelsey Silva [50:51 - 50:54]: It's so bad. But I was just like, bad. 

Xavier [50:54 - 51:04]: Why would you change it now? Like, that is the. So what you're gonna put. You're gonna change his name to the most. Just boring. Once again. Another, like, weird. 

Kelsey Silva [51:04 - 51:05]: Two first names. 

Xavier [51:05 - 51:20]: Yeah, because we're on that kick. And then you're going to put him in a feud based around a behavior that I would believe from the former name. I don't get it. 

Kelsey Silva [51:21 - 51:27]: Cere was in the name because he treats her with sincerity. 

Xavier [51:28 - 51:28]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [51:28 - 51:30]: As opposed to morons. 

Xavier [51:30 - 51:31]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [51:31 - 51:33]: Sorry. I don't really mean that. 

Xavier [51:33 - 51:40]: No, no, you morons. That was dumb. Like, that was dumb, and I know it is crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [51:40 - 52:01]: So also, I'm also going to say the mean thing that I would have. You could have also done, like, literally anybody else. Like who. Who. We haven't even seen Salvatore Sincere, let alone Tom Brandy. Mr. Brandy. Like, right. Who is this suddenly coming out on her behalf? 

Xavier [52:01 - 52:02]: Right? 

Kelsey Silva [52:02 - 52:07]: Which, like, fine, give him a storyline. Love to see it. But, like, then I don't know about this. 

Xavier [52:07 - 52:07]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [52:07 - 52:09]: Out of left field. Out of left field. 

Xavier [52:09 - 52:17]: Out of left field, indeed. So Mark Miro, looking great. Great. Those little shorty shorts with the fringe. Love to See it? 

Kelsey Silva [52:17 - 52:18]: Yeah. 

Xavier [52:18 - 52:30]: Very cute. I love the. The fit that Sable's got. Rocking. I think that is the way she should. Oh, that's the way she compliments an outfit. You know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [52:30 - 52:31]: Exactly. 

Xavier [52:31 - 52:37]: It was the same, like, colors, but it was like a. Like a feather laced, like. 

Kelsey Silva [52:37 - 52:39]: Like a fur top. 

Xavier [52:39 - 52:40]: I don't know how you would describe it. 

Kelsey Silva [52:40 - 52:42]: Yeah, like a jumpsuit. Sweetheart neckline. 

Xavier [52:42 - 52:46]: There you go. You can describe that way better than I can. I'm not gay. 

Kelsey Silva [52:47 - 52:50]: And that's okay. I'm gay enough for the. But not. 

Xavier [52:52 - 53:11]: Continue. No, but she looks great. I loved it. I loved it, I loved it. But, yeah, my next note. I miss Salvatore sincere. Oh, I did write my next note after that. Ms. Brandy's got nice tits, though, so good on you. 

Kelsey Silva [53:11 - 53:18]: And you know what? I. You know what? I've always said I love a man with little titties. 

Xavier [53:20 - 53:21]: You have always said. 

Kelsey Silva [53:21 - 53:28]: I have always said the girls who get it, get it. 

Xavier [53:28 - 53:39]: The girls get it. No. No, they don't. Have fun sleeping on rocks any jail. 

Kelsey Silva [53:40 - 53:42]: Have fun sleeping on a washboard. 

Xavier [53:43 - 54:38]: Your clothes will be immaculate. So one point during the match, Miro lands on Sable on the outside of the ring and then starts yelling at her for having landed on her, which is crazy. Sables. Sables out here injured because she's wearing, like, like, of course, like, six inch, like, thigh highs. So, like, she can't, like, just take off that boot to attend to an injury. All right? That's a process. So she's out here hurt Tom Brandy, like, goes to, like, tend to her. And then in the most spottiest looking spot I've ever seen, Mark Miro knocks them both over where he very gently places her back on the floor. 

Kelsey Silva [54:38 - 54:53]: I love the idea that maybe Sable was like, I'm not taking that bump, girl. Like, I'll take. I'll take the one, but you better know 100. I'm wearing. I'm wearing full leather. Like, I'm not taking that bum fully. 

Xavier [54:53 - 54:56]: So she's like, I will bust out of this. 

Kelsey Silva [54:56 - 55:00]: I said. I was like, she's got low back jumpsuit on, no bra. 

Xavier [55:00 - 55:01]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [55:01 - 55:03]: You better place her down delicately. 

Xavier [55:03 - 55:06]: No, Right. That. That is. Is fragile. 

Kelsey Silva [55:07 - 55:10]: Fragile. Handle with care. Priority mail. 

Xavier [55:10 - 55:20]: Love it. So of course, Stone Cold comes in and stuns Mark Miro because that's the name of the game this evening. 

Kelsey Silva [55:21 - 55:23]: I forgot about this. 

Xavier [55:23 - 55:38]: Yes. And then so Stone Cold, of course, mocks Mark Miro, and then on the way out of the ring, he basically. He. He basically I Sable, and then like, leaves up the ramp he gives her. Go ahead, Kelsey, go ahead. 

Kelsey Silva [55:38 - 55:58]: So I have to paint the picture. So Sable's like on the ring or like on the side, and then Stone Cold comes out and he's like leaning his ring. He like, gives her the up down her with his eyes, and she's like, what? And then he just goes like. You can hear in his brain go, I could, but nah. Walks away. And the way she goes like. 

Xavier [56:00 - 56:08]: And the camera, the camera catches, like behind the sunglasses, like, amazing. Catches the shot. So. 

Kelsey Silva [56:08 - 56:13]: And he's just walking away and he's wearing those jeans. Wow. Oh, my God. 

Xavier [56:13 - 56:15]: Yeah, those jeans really killed it. 

Kelsey Silva [56:15 - 56:38]: Or went out for the jeans. And I said, girl, I get it, I get it. Because again, I said, it's always the ones who just like, like, nah, it's all right. And then, because everyone else is on her set, and then the one guy who's not in her set, he's an ass. Like that, right? Watch him too. I'd be like, there goes my hero. 

Xavier [56:38 - 56:41]: No, really, watch him as he goes. 

Kelsey Silva [56:42 - 56:43]: And I will. 

Xavier [56:43 - 57:42]: And I will, and I will. Amazing. So we transition from Sable and Stone Cold's chemistry into a video package with our dear, dear friend Mick Foley and his dear friend Chainsaw Charlie. And. Oh, it was great. It was like a horror movie. It was amazing. It was amazing. It was amazing. We have shots of the box that Cactus Jack back was carrying around with him most of the evening the prior week. And Chainsaw cuts himself out of the box. Frees himself to chase away the new age outlaws. I love it. Just him scared out of me. Just. Just mowing down doors backstage. Oh, I love just swinging a chain. 

Kelsey Silva [57:43 - 57:52]: Swing in that thing. And later, Xavier goes, do you want me to tell you who that is or do. And I was looking at him and go, I know that's Terry. 

Xavier [57:53 - 57:54]: Like, is it? 

Kelsey Silva [57:54 - 58:02]: Terry is someone we've known for a while. Like, I know that's my boy Terry. I know that's Terry. That's Death match Daddy Terry. 

Xavier [58:03 - 58:03]: No. 100. 

Kelsey Silva [58:03 - 58:09]: And of course, he. I. And you go, you're like, well, he is the only one who would be flinging around that chainsaw. 

Xavier [58:09 - 58:18]: Just willy nilly, nobody's business. One hand man swinging this chainsaw at like 50 plus crazy scared me big time. 

Kelsey Silva [58:18 - 58:19]: I did not like that. 

Xavier [58:19 - 58:20]: Middle aged and crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [58:20 - 58:23]: Absolutely middle aged and crazy. I'm on my way. 

Xavier [58:24 - 58:41]: That. That's what he says in promo. So he's like, I'm middle aged and crazy. What you gonna do to me? Like, like, I love it. So Terry Funk has made his way from the land of hardcore to the WWF in the form of Chainsaw Charlie. 

Kelsey Silva [58:41 - 58:44]: Oh, I just made that connection in my brain that he's gon now. 

Xavier [58:44 - 58:48]: Oh, yeah, yeah. For a little while. Yeah, yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [58:49 - 58:50]: Wait. 

Xavier [58:50 - 58:53]: Yeah, I look. Just got goosebumps to see Terry do some stuff. 

Kelsey Silva [58:54 - 59:00]: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't even put that together. 

Xavier [59:01 - 59:03]: Yes, fam. I love that. 

Kelsey Silva [59:03 - 59:07]: Hey, girl. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm so excited. 

Xavier [59:07 - 59:09]: Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love that you're excited. 

Kelsey Silva [59:09 - 59:13]: Oh, Terry and Mick Foley, right? 

Xavier [59:13 - 59:14]: The homies. 

Kelsey Silva [59:16 - 59:17]: Awesome. 

Xavier [59:18 - 59:52]: Love that. So that is. Takes us into our next match, which is the New Age Outlaws taking on the Headbangers. Love to see it. The Headbangers are out wrestling the New Age Outlaws for the beginning part of this match. Love to see it. The they perform a double team face buster, which is also beautifully done. At one point during the match, on commentary, JR goes, smell that? And you know you do, and you know you do, because here comes the God wins in there. 

Kelsey Silva [59:52 - 59:58]: The way he said, you smell that? 

Xavier [59:58 - 1:00:09]: He's like, you smell that? Like, you're like, oh, no, not. Not you. Your scent traveling before you do. 

Kelsey Silva [1:00:10 - 1:00:14]: Entering the room. And they're like, upstage, like, they're not even like. 

Xavier [1:00:14 - 1:00:26]: Exactly. They're downwind. They just bust out into the, like, the pumba part of When I Was a Young War. 

Kelsey Silva [1:00:27 - 1:00:30]: What? We've been singing a lot today. I don't know what that is. 

Xavier [1:00:30 - 1:00:30]: Please. 

Kelsey Silva [1:00:30 - 1:00:53]: I'm so sorry, everyone. He goes girl. It's you versus everyone. I'm sorry. I just. I'm sorry. I had a song in my heart today. I don't know what happened. The way this episode is gonna get ripped from YouTube because I sang too many parts. 

Xavier [1:00:54 - 1:01:00]: Good luck trying to fit they. They want. They want to sue us. They just can't figure out which one to sue over. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:02 - 1:01:05]: If it was me, I'd go for the Rihanna one. Probably. 

Xavier [1:01:05 - 1:01:09]: No, honestly, I. I think it'll be Disney if anything. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:09 - 1:01:16]: You know what? You're actually right. You're actually right. Oh, my God. 

Xavier [1:01:16 - 1:01:27]: So them Stanky Godwins are hanging out at the top of the ramp at one point, one of the. Not the Spanking Godwins. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:30 - 1:01:33]: Oh, my God, I feel so silly tonight. 

Xavier [1:01:33 - 1:01:35]: The Stanky Godwins is crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:35 - 1:01:36]: Stanky mother. 

Xavier [1:01:37 - 1:01:41]: No, I'm Stanky Confederate wearing. God wins. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:42 - 1:01:43]: Nothing worse than that. 

Xavier [1:01:43 - 1:01:46]: No. 100 this time. He brought on like a cap. Like a match. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:47 - 1:01:48]: You're racist and you smell. 

Xavier [1:01:49 - 1:01:51]: No 100%. That's crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:51 - 1:01:53]: That's that's one that's. 

Xavier [1:01:53 - 1:02:19]: I mean, too many things. No, 100. Unfortunately, that Venn diagram is at least in my book. So are you still with us? Because if you are, God bless. 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:19 - 1:02:21]: God bless. I'm really sorry, guys. 

Xavier [1:02:21 - 1:02:38]: This one's really been a roller coaster. I would love. If you watch, like, all the way through, like, and you recall any of the ones where we were truly heinous, like, let us know. We've recorded so many at this point, I feel like we've forgotten, but I'd love to be reminded. 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:39 - 1:02:40]: Yeah, please. Oh, my God. 

Xavier [1:02:40 - 1:02:41]: We're heinous. 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:41 - 1:02:42]: We're horrible people. 

Xavier [1:02:43 - 1:03:18]: So at one point, one of the headbangers and Jesse James of the New Age Outlaws both attempt a drop kick kick. And they both just miss and essentially just collide center in the ring. They were scissoring for their lives, mama. They were both out of commission after that one. It felt very unplanned, we'll put it that way. Based on the yell that Jesse James produced once he landed. Not great. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:18 - 1:03:20]: Bad news. Bad news. 

Xavier [1:03:21 - 1:03:21]: So crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:22 - 1:03:23]: Singing soprano. 

Xavier [1:03:24 - 1:04:01]: Oh, my God. So it looks like the headbangers are going to perform their double team move when they miss. And that allows for the New Age Outlaws to pick up the victory. And then in the chaos that ensues after the match, Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie come down to the ring to chase out the New Age Outlaws. And the segment ends with Chainsaw Charlie just swinging that thing. And that's. That's a great shirt. I would love just like, just swinging that thing. Just like. 

Kelsey Silva [1:04:01 - 1:04:03]: And then it's Chainsaw Charlie. 

Xavier [1:04:03 - 1:04:06]: Yeah. And then just Chainsaw Charlie just. 

Kelsey Silva [1:04:07 - 1:04:10]: I would love that or love that. 

Xavier [1:04:10 - 1:04:22]: Or it's a like, like blank on the front and it's like a. Like a. Like a shadow, like a doorway or whatever. And he's like, cutting his way through and just says, like, swaging that thing. I love. 

Kelsey Silva [1:04:23 - 1:04:27]: Yeah, love that. Love that. I'll add it to the list. 

Xavier [1:04:28 - 1:05:43]: I have a running notes app for swinging that thing. Chainsaw Charlie Merch. Next, we basically get a Hell in a Cell recap. It's lovely. If you did not watch the sell pay per view, you could just honestly watch this recap and really get the gist. I say personally, go back and watch the match. Always go back and watch that match. It's fantastic. But it does bring you up to speed. And yes, the music was epic. Very video game, very all of that. So which brings us up to speed to our final segment of the evening, which is Shawn Michaels coming Out to call out the Undertaker before their Royal Rumble match. But he really got some cojones on this one because he's out here, he's calling them alone. Alone. Calling him a loser, saying, I beat this guy again and again and again. And he's like, oh, like, bring your dead ass out here so HPK can slap you around a little bit. So HBK can slap you around a bit. 

Kelsey Silva [1:05:43 - 1:05:45]: Can you even reach him? 

Xavier [1:05:45 - 1:06:04]: That's crazy. Me at my roommates and like, so I'm sorry, guys. I love you. No, but honestly. So then, of course, we get the lights, the gong, and we see the return of the Druid. Druids. 

Kelsey Silva [1:06:04 - 1:06:06]: The Druids. 

Xavier [1:06:06 - 1:06:09]: We haven't seen the Druids in a hot, hot minute. 

Kelsey Silva [1:06:09 - 1:06:15]: They came in, I was like, hey, gang, where have you been? I've been asking about you. 

Xavier [1:06:15 - 1:06:17]: No, 100% I have. 

Kelsey Silva [1:06:18 - 1:06:21]: I was. Good to see y'all. 

Xavier [1:06:21 - 1:07:33]: Oh, love it. So they come out bringing a casket, the same casket that they brought out last week when it was Shawn Michaels hiding in the casket. And Hunter and China, they were all having a good, good laugh at the Undertaker's expense. So as the casket is being brought down, Sean's like, a little creativity, please. Like, we literally just did this. So he's out here just like, having a. Having a good chuckle. He's like, haha, China, Haha, Triple H, you're gonna have to do better. Murmur. So he's just being an A hole on the side of the ring, like, by the. The casket. When China rolls Hunter out onto the ramp, and they're like, hey, not me, not us. Not in there. We're not in there. No. 100%. And so the episode ends with our dear friend Shawn Michaels going, oh, well, if you guys are up there, then who's in that? Ah, grabbed, snatched episode ends with us POV in the casket. Crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [1:07:33 - 1:07:35]: We're in the casket. And I was like, I know they're in there. 

Xavier [1:07:35 - 1:07:38]: Like, no, fully. 

Kelsey Silva [1:07:38 - 1:07:51]: Like, you ever seen that? That meme about, like, the Trojan horse, like, where they're like, you know they were in there like, thelonious, stop laughing. Like, you're gonna catch us. That's what it felt. But like, they dragged him in and. 

Xavier [1:07:51 - 1:07:55]: They were like, no, fully, fully, fully. Tee hee hee. 

Kelsey Silva [1:07:55 - 1:07:56]: In the casket. It. 

Xavier [1:07:56 - 1:07:57]: I love that. 

Kelsey Silva [1:07:57 - 1:08:44]: Crazy got Googled. I thought. I thought Kane was going to come out. I won't lie, because Undertaker, they were. They played this, like, multiple times where Undertaker defended Kane, I guess last week against. Against an onslaught, a vicious onslaught. And I thought So I thought Shawn Michael throwing dirt on his brother's name, which is funny because he's the Undertaker dirt. But I thought Kane would come out and be, like, not my brother. Like, and, like, repay the favor. But this was also delightful. I missed the. I missed the caskets. Being involved in the Undertaker's lore the first time around. Like, I didn't. I didn't. I wasn't there for that. So now I get to experience it again during the relaunch. And I'm fine with that. I'll take it. 

Xavier [1:08:44 - 1:08:45]: Love that. I love that. 

Kelsey Silva [1:08:45 - 1:08:46]: I'll take it. 

Xavier [1:08:46 - 1:09:08]: And don't worry, we get a, like, a period of time where Undertaker really goes, like. Like, back to his. Like, off the rails. Like, oh, side. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you'll eat it up because it's very, like, lots of symbolism, lots of things like that. 

Kelsey Silva [1:09:09 - 1:09:10]: You know me. 

Xavier [1:09:10 - 1:10:01]: So. So that is where we are left, guys. We are on the road to the Royal Rumble. We love to see it. Which means we are on the greater road to the. To Wrestlemania always. And thank you all for listening, wherever you find us. Commenting, liking, subscribing, all of that great stuff. If you guys are interested in outdoor merchandise and you would like 10% off, do not forget that you can use the code new to wrestling. N e w T o W R e s T L I n g@beaten pathco.com for 10% off. Anything on that site. Again, that is the new to wrestling. All one word. You get 10% off. All right, guys, for Kelsey, I am Xavier, and we will catch you on the next one. 

Kelsey Silva [1:10:01 - 1:10:02]: We'll see you there. 

Xavier [1:10:02 - 1:10:03]: Bye.