Mike Tyson Joins D-Generation-X & The Undertaker Returns to Confront Kane

We’re back on the road to WrestleMania 14 and the chaos is dialed all the way up. In this week’s episode, Kelsey and Xavier dig into the March 2, 1998 edition of Raw Is War—featuring Mike Tyson’s very unexpected allegiance, Paul Bearer acting like a mafia don, and a casket that gets struck by lightning because sure, why not.

We also get way too much Jeff Jarrett, just the right amount of Chainsaw Charlie chainsawing a car, and the return of the Undertaker in one of the most dramatic, supernatural, and low-key operatic endings in Raw history. Yes, there were actual flames. Yes, we screamed. Yes, you need to watch.

Also:

• Sable vs Luna vs. All of Us
• A dumpster pop-up book from hell
• Stone Cold Austin’s “I’ll fight you in the dark” energy
• Why Paul Bearer is suddenly kinda slaying
• And how Titanomachy is a real word we’re applying to wrestling now

This is what we mean when we say, “We come to this place for magic.”

Welcome back to New to Wrestling.

Timestamps:

• 0:00 Intro and episode overview
• 5:56 DX opens show with provocative promo
• 13:21 New Age Outlaws defend tag titles
• 26:41 Taka Michinoku teams with The Headbangers
• 31:43 Jeff Jarrett returns with new gimmick
• 39:37 Stone Cold confronts DX and Kane
• 51:35 Kane vs Stone Cold main event
• 58:28 Undertaker makes dramatic return

The New To Wrestling Podcast follows two friends who enjoy wrestling but are in different stages of their fandom. Xavier Cruz serves as your guide through generations of professional wrestling while Kelsey Silva experiences these matches for the first time. Climb into the ring weekly to relive the famous matches beginning with the Attitude Era!

Transcript

Xavier [0:27 - 3:02]: Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of the New to Wrestling podcast. This week we watched the March 2, 1998 edition of Raw is War. And the match card is as follows. We have Eight Skull and Eight Ball taking on the New Age Outlaws for the Tag Team Championships. Mark Miro takes on Tom Brandy. Owen Hart takes on Mark Miro for the European Championship Takamichinoku. Tag teams with the Headbangers to take on the Rock and Roll Express. And Barry Windham. Steve Blackman takes on Comma Mustafa. We see the quasi return of Double Jeff Jarrett taking on Flash Funk. And then we have in our main event, Kane and Stone Cold Steve Austin or what is supposed to be. But again, this is the attitude era, so there's nothing but shenanigans, y' all. Hello. Hello all. How are we? How are we doing? If you're new, welcome back. This is Kelsey. She is also new to wrestling. If you are not so new, hey, hang out with us. See if you remember any of this. My name is Xavier. Yeah, it has been a. Yeah, you were just. Have you been waiting the entire intro to do this? No. That's fantastic. It has been a hot minute since. Since we have done just a regular schmegular episode. So very exciting. If you have not been on the regular schmegler train, we are on route to WrestleMania 14 in the land of WWF at this time. So we will. We're jumping in right about a month ish, three weeks prior to WrestleMania. So if you have joined in, are new from coming in from interviews and whatnot and hey, welcome. Hope you enjoyed them. And this is what we do here usually is just talk about some old wrestling and we're glad you're come along for the ride if you have been around the whole time. Thanks. And also hope you've been enjoying the interview kind of thing we've been doing. They've been coming in which has been very, very lovely and fortunate for us so that we can share some stories with you. We love to talk to the people that make all of this nonsense happen, so. 

Kelsey Silva [3:02 - 3:06]: Absolutely. That's so funny. 

Xavier [3:06 - 3:11]: No, we're literally, you know, it's like we want to talk to the carnies and here we are. 

Kelsey Silva [3:11 - 3:17]: And period. And here we are gabbing with the carnies, so. And thank you for the. To the carnies. For gabbing with us. 

Xavier [3:17 - 3:21]: No, 100. We love you and we respect the craft. Yeah, it's pretty great. 

Kelsey Silva [3:21 - 3:23]: Pretty turn. I'm not gonna lie. 

Xavier [3:24 - 3:44]: But okay, guys, this one was a doozy to like, come back into y. I had to find the next episode that was available to us. I hate you via the interwebs. And boy, when I tell you, because we had to go and find this of not regular schmegular means the adage the. 

Kelsey Silva [3:44 - 4:31]: You guys, this is so evil. We both watched it on the same thing. Xavier sent me the link. We bootlegged it. And I will say, thank God we found this episode because 100% Father John Netflix, you are an evil bastard for not having this available. 100% and evil. And you will be hearing from my attorney. But Xavier found this episode, like, went out of his way to find it, sent me the link. I did not get one singular dingular ad. And Xavier got 700. Like, 700 ads. Literally in the middle of it, I was like, I feel like you're also getting my ads. Like, I don't know what angel watching over me in this moment. That's just like di. Like sending them to Xavier instead. 

Xavier [4:31 - 4:32]: Oh, God, it was terrible. 

Kelsey Silva [4:32 - 4:36]: Every single minute was another ad. 

Xavier [4:36 - 4:42]: So, like, it took us just way too long to get through silence for. 

Kelsey Silva [4:42 - 4:47]: The plight that Xavier suffered. Finding this and then having to sit through ads. 

Xavier [4:48 - 5:25]: Oh, guys, guys, it's really hard out here. But hey, we're here. We found it. But this one is wild. So it starts out because we are on the road to WrestleMania. The main event of WrestleMania 14 is Austin vs Michaels for the WWF Championship, with the special enforcer being Mike Tyson. We get a whole video package just unpacking the. The last altercation between Stone Cold and Mike Tyson. Them getting in each other's face, having to get separated by everybod their mother. 

Kelsey Silva [5:25 - 5:27]: And thank God they gave us a little recap, though, because. 

Xavier [5:27 - 5:47]: Because it's been a while. Yeah, I was like, for us and for you. Right. So it is announced that all three participants are going to be in the house this evening. So get. Expect. Expect it to pop off. Was basically the vibe the entire evening. 

Kelsey Silva [5:47 - 5:49]: They were like, warning, warning. 

Xavier [5:49 - 5:54]: No. Yeah, literally, like, incoming, incoming. Don't touch that remote. You know, it was very. That. 

Kelsey Silva [5:54 - 5:55]: Yes, yes. 

Xavier [5:56 - 6:21]: But the show opens up with Degeneration X. Sean comes out in a comically large cowboy hat. A black cowboy hat. And. And then accompanied by a brown jacket and the darkest. I am either hungover or actively on something. Sunglasses I've ever seen. 

Kelsey Silva [6:22 - 6:23]: We know them. 

Xavier [6:23 - 6:27]: We know that we have the pair handy. It's fine. 

Kelsey Silva [6:29 - 6:31]: It's no judgment, just observations. 

Xavier [6:32 - 6:52]: Right. 100%. They apparently have been going on and on about making Wrestlemania like, X rated. Like, because there's like 900 signs in the crowd. Like, they've been talking about it on commentary. Triple H mentions it, like, upon opening of his promo. And I'm like, baby girl, relax. 

Kelsey Silva [6:55 - 7:06]: Like, because going to stop. They're going to prevent the kids from watching at this point. They're going to be like, I don't know. They said it's X rated and they're going to just do all types of shenanigans. And then Triple H said, what did he say? 

Xavier [7:08 - 7:10]: Discretion is advised but will be ignored. 

Kelsey Silva [7:10 - 7:18]: Will be ignoring it. So it's like, I don't know now at this point, like, it's, it's flipping the other way where, like, viewership could go back. Like, maybe we shouldn't watch this one. 

Xavier [7:18 - 7:42]: No. And honestly though, that was happening the entire time. Like, mind you, like, when you're talking about, like, the news and things that was happening at this time, like, people are outrage. Their kids are going to school and just like, crotch chopping their teachers. Like, I'm like, when I tell you, like, it was causing the outrage, you think appropriately, that it should have. 

Kelsey Silva [7:43 - 7:52]: And it's funny because I remember the crotch chop being like a phenomenon in school and I didn't have the context for it. 

Xavier [7:52 - 7:52]: Right? Yes. 

Kelsey Silva [7:52 - 7:57]: Now I have the context, the building blocks and, and the conclusion to myself. 

Xavier [7:57 - 8:02]: The thing is, it's like, it's like you don't. It's a. It's. You don't need it, you know? 

Kelsey Silva [8:02 - 8:05]: No, because it's pretty self explanatory. 

Xavier [8:05 - 8:28]: Right? You know, literally, it's a. You know, X marks the spot. Like it's a. You get it. But like, it's, it's just funny that it's like the outrage was happening. Just so you know. It's just because we're being presented with only the unfettered message. We're never. We're never gonna get. 

Kelsey Silva [8:28 - 8:35]: It's like honestly, kind of wrestling propaganda. What we. It's like we just watch one perspective and nobody else is like, no. 

Xavier [8:36 - 8:40]: And that's why we watch the documentaries and things later for after dark. 

Kelsey Silva [8:40 - 8:43]: Yes, absolutely. Oh, 100. 

Xavier [8:43 - 9:16]: Yes. But so they go. They each do their own, like these. This first, like, opening promo feels very. Like this is the cookie cutter, like, style. You know what I mean? This is my opponent. This is when we're fighting. Yeah, yeah. Triple H is like, Owen Hart, I'm gonna cut through you like a hot knife through butter. You're like, all that good stuff. And then of course, he makes a dick joke about a utensil Getting into drawers. And then. 

Kelsey Silva [9:16 - 9:27]: Which I do love the play on words, because I was like, I got a utensil that you could put in your drawers. And I was like. Because it's like a. And I was like, I'm mad. I liked that. 

Xavier [9:27 - 9:34]: Yeah. 100. You're like, damn, I'm pissed. I found that clever, of course. 

Kelsey Silva [9:34 - 9:35]: Hate to give it to him. 

Xavier [9:36 - 9:58]: HBK addresses Iron Mike. He says that DX is gonna make Mike an offer that he can't refuse. He goes on to address Stone Cold. He's like, oh, you're not tough enough to take this title off of me. Sign up that question, Chrome Dome. Real nice. So that I can crack you like an egg. Which is okay. 

Kelsey Silva [9:59 - 10:10]: Again, they're like. They're like in the. In the. The puns in the dictionary, in the word play, whatever. Like, they should be for the word play Olympics, like, 100%. 

Xavier [10:10 - 10:28]: And, like, I love. I love it. Wherever you can sneak him in. But of course, Stone Cold Steve Austin, not one to mince words, if you will, comes out, and it's like, oh, okay, but you could say all my face. He's like, one more time. A little. 

Kelsey Silva [10:28 - 10:31]: I thought you were saying some thought. I come out and hear for myself. 

Xavier [10:32 - 10:44]: And as soon as Stone Cold hits the ring, Blackout. Kane's music, it's just. Which is like, we're already on a ride. This evening's already been hijacked. 

Kelsey Silva [10:44 - 10:49]: There's been no match, right? No match. Yeah, just chaos. 

Xavier [10:49 - 11:42]: Nothing but hijinks. And so Paul Bear comes out. He's like, oh, Stone Cold, you're not even gonna have to worry about WrestleMania because your big problems actually are right here. Kane's sending you straight to hell tonight. And you're like, okay, I love. I love that. Like. Like, Paul. Paul, next to Kane is so cunty. He's so cunty about it. Like, I don't know, he just has, like, a. Like, an arrogance like he didn't have before. Like, I don't know, like, the Undertaker, I think, because he commands too much respect, that, like, you, he would never be able to, like, do that kind of, like, side business for himself. Like, go in for, like, you know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [11:42 - 11:42]: Yes. 

Xavier [11:42 - 11:53]: But because Kane is just like, I will rip your head off, your mama's head off. Invite your whole family. We will line them all up in height order, and I'll rip all their heads off like it doesn't matter. 

Kelsey Silva [11:54 - 11:55]: Yes. 

Xavier [11:55 - 12:05]: Right. Like, it gives, like, a mob boss kind of mentality, which allows him to just be a little bit more like, about it. Like, you know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [12:05 - 12:06]: No. 100%. 

Xavier [12:06 - 12:16]: Which I feel like he's really been leaning into, which I think makes me like him just, like, a little bit more. Not that I, like, I like him generally, but I respect that. Like, character change. 

Kelsey Silva [12:17 - 12:29]: Yes. Because it's like, before, when you were just. I was like, what is even your purpose? Like, I don't even know what you do. And now it's like, oh, you're. You're. It gives the brains and the muscle. 

Xavier [12:29 - 12:31]: Because like I said, it's the keeper of the key. 

Kelsey Silva [12:31 - 12:38]: Like, yeah, the key. The. He's got, like, the. He's like the little dog, and he's got big dog. 

Xavier [12:38 - 12:38]: Right? 

Kelsey Silva [12:38 - 12:40]: And big dog does whatever little dog says. 

Xavier [12:41 - 12:41]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [12:41 - 13:11]: And all dogs go to heaven. Like, I don't know. Like, I. I. Okay, I1. Let me say this. I'll never love Ball Bear. It's on site forever. But I do agree that I like that adjustment to his character because it. It. I do, like, a little more. More sass in my. In my brass, you know, like, yeah, what are you gonna do? He's taking out timekeepers, referees, your favorite wrestler. 

Xavier [13:11 - 13:12]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [13:12 - 13:14]: Like, every last one just for funsies. 

Xavier [13:15 - 13:15]: No. 

Kelsey Silva [13:15 - 13:16]: So what are you gonna do? 

Xavier [13:17 - 13:19]: No. 100. So good. 

Kelsey Silva [13:19 - 13:21]: And then you're going to help tonight. 

Xavier [13:21 - 13:29]: 100. During the cane blackout, DX scrambled away. They' poof. Into the. Into the night. 

Kelsey Silva [13:30 - 13:32]: I will say they know when to run. 

Xavier [13:32 - 13:40]: No. Yeah, they listen. They know when. What is it? No one to hold them. No one to fold them. Like, they. They know. 

Kelsey Silva [13:42 - 13:43]: Certainly no one to fold them. 

Xavier [13:43 - 14:13]: That's. That is for sure. But. So of course, Stone Cold's not gonna, like, just let that happen. So he kicks, like, I think, what is Michael Cole? Like, just throws him off of commentary like, completely like this. Like, rips of his chair and, like, throws him aside. Poor Michael Cole really earned his place because they were just, like, actually physically abusing him for just the early part of his career. Like, that was just 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [14:13 - 14:16]: And he still gets it. Everyone, like, every now. 

Xavier [14:16 - 14:23]: Every now and again, for sure. But I think after 25 years, at least he gets to say when he participates. I think he was just, like, in. 

Kelsey Silva [14:23 - 14:25]: For the paying his dues, right? 

Xavier [14:26 - 14:28]: Yeah. Sweat equity, if you will. 

Kelsey Silva [14:28 - 14:29]: Sweat equity. 

Xavier [14:33 - 14:46]: So he grabs Michael Cole's commentary Mike after just tossing him aside like, yesterday's take count so bad. And he's just like, oh, like, what? I'm supposed to be a little scared of the dark? 

Kelsey Silva [14:47 - 14:50]: He is. And meanwhile, Junior is just sitting and still being him. 

Xavier [14:50 - 15:01]: Like this terrified, right? He's like. He's like, bring Kane out. He. It doesn't matter. Lights on, lights off. 

Kelsey Silva [15:02 - 15:04]: Bring a flashlight of his hand. 

Xavier [15:04 - 15:18]: He's like, I'll kick his ass in the dark. I don't care. And he's like, nobody's gonna get in stone Cold's Way. WrestleMania 14 is still happening. He's like, if Mike Tyson's here too, He. If he's got his gloves, bring him out. Like, I'm here. 

Kelsey Silva [15:18 - 15:20]: He literally, like, bring him out. Bring them out. 

Xavier [15:20 - 15:42]: No. 100%. And that's his vibe every day. And then. And then he basically just, like, does his two cents, gets on top of the announced table, flips everybody the bird, and goes about his business. And then they cut Mike Tyson arriving in the world's largest limo. Just to let us know that it's Mike Tyson. 

Kelsey Silva [15:43 - 15:44]: Yeah, There you go. 

Xavier [15:44 - 16:23]: 100%. We get an update on the Cactus Jack Chainsaw Charlie New Age Outlaws feud, which involves the New Age Outlaws last week apparently trying to make their grand escape in whatever rental car they were going to destroy that week, and only to get just, absolutely just assaulted by Chainsaw Charlie trying to saw his way into the vehicle. And I guess that was taking too long for Cactus because he just comes swinging in like a. Like a movie villain. 

Kelsey Silva [16:23 - 16:43]: Came in like a wrecking ball. Like, that immediate shattered the whole front window. The swing was so crazy. I was like, mlb, contact this man. He's gonna hit homers every night. Because there is. There was so much rage there. 

Xavier [16:43 - 16:44]: Crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [16:44 - 16:47]: Cracked that window like nothing. 

Xavier [16:47 - 17:26]: Yeah. 100. So the new Age Outlaws are taking a page out of their boss's book and show up to. To a public event in some giant overstated neck braces. Ye. Huge. I'm sick. You know, the. The. Right. The whole nine, basically, they're coming down there, they talk about the Dumpster being the New Age Outlaws mascot, which I thought was hilarious. To just be like, yes, Trash is who we are. 

Kelsey Silva [17:26 - 17:29]: We are the embodiment of dumpster core. 

Xavier [17:29 - 17:31]: No. 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [17:31 - 17:31]: Okay. 

Xavier [17:32 - 17:56]: And then they go like, we are pressing charges for first degree murder. Which is crazy because, like, not only did they get closer to murdering Chainsaw Charlie and Cactus Jack, okay. But, like, they were fully just, like, able to drive away that whole time. I don't. You know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [17:56 - 18:08]: Like, murder in the first degree is like, hey, so you're dead and they meant to kill you. You are both alive and it seemed more like revenge. I don't. 

Xavier [18:08 - 18:09]: Right. You're. 

Kelsey Silva [18:09 - 18:18]: Maybe you're maybe getting like attempted in the third, like 100. And then in the second maybe like. 

Xavier [18:18 - 18:52]: I don't know, it's crazy. And then they're like, and, and you may think that we have no leg to stand on in court, but don't worry. And then they show us the shake, the shaky cam, the shaky home footage of their POV of their ins of this incident, which I love it because they, the, the best part about it is they have the one shot of cactus just coming in with the baseball bat like before the windshield gets shattered. And then after that it's might as well just be the Blair Witch Project because like I couldn't tell you what the was going on. 

Kelsey Silva [18:52 - 19:00]: No 100. But like I want my man a little crazy like that. Yeah. Beat his, beat up his car with a bad bag. Get him. 

Xavier [19:00 - 19:01]: Oh my God. 

Kelsey Silva [19:02 - 19:06]: And then we're just gonna go to like a food, a food truck after and get some tacos or something. 

Xavier [19:07 - 19:09]: Yeah. Where you'll wrap his knuckles there. 

Kelsey Silva [19:10 - 19:14]: Like I'll be like, like I'll be like, can I get a bag of ice? 

Xavier [19:14 - 19:15]: No. 

Kelsey Silva [19:15 - 19:21]: 100%, guys, I'm in therapy. Don't worry about it. I'll be okay. 

Xavier [19:22 - 19:31]: So the MO for them is to try and get out of wrestling, which of course our homeboy Sergeant Slaughter is having absolutely none of. 

Kelsey Silva [19:31 - 19:39]: Now he just gets like, he's like the floating J. El head. He just gets up on the 100% is like, no wear wrestle tonight. 

Xavier [19:39 - 19:54]: 100%. You're like, okay, Zordon, relax. No, he's like, you're faking it. You will wrestle. You're not hurt. And not only will you wrestle, you're going to defend the titles. 

Kelsey Silva [19:54 - 19:58]: Go right now. Right now. 

Xavier [19:58 - 20:39]: No. And then that brings out eight Ball and Skull of the Disciples of the Apocalypse, if that's still a thing. They come out riding their bikes and this is, this is it. This is the, this is the match. It's very chaotic, which all of the New Age Outlaws matches are at. One point, Billy Gun hits one of the cue balls in the head with the belt on the outside of the ring. And then they literally just yeet the other baldy into. Into the side of the dumpster. Which I guess prompts is the Grand Q for Cactus and Chainsaw Charlie to pop up out of that. Like literally just a pop up book from hell. 

Kelsey Silva [20:39 - 20:43]: Just hey, the Jack in the box. The demons Jack in the box. 

Xavier [20:43 - 20:43]: Right. 

Kelsey Silva [20:43 - 20:46]: Activated by the, the DOA 100. 

Xavier [20:47 - 21:10]: So we're just like, all right. And then they, they being Cactus and Chainsaw chase the New Age Outlaws out of the arena, forcing the count out. So eight Ball and Skull win the match, don't win the titles, and it's just more New Age Outlaws shenanigans. Par for the course. 

Kelsey Silva [21:11 - 21:35]: So, so insane. I do want to say Michael Cole did something I thought was pretty brilliant, and he. I think he couldn't remember which one was eight Ball and which one was Skulls, because he was like. And one of the identical twins from the DOA takes, like, a clothesline or whatever. And he kept saying that, like, because he wasn't sure, like, which one. But I was like, they look the same. They are the same. I'm not even not convinced. They're not the same person. 

Xavier [21:35 - 21:41]: Well, they don't even do anything to distinguish from one another. So it's like, all right, some people. 

Kelsey Silva [21:41 - 21:45]: Just take the twin gimmick and they wear it. 

Xavier [21:45 - 21:54]: Yeah. But it's usually like, you know, the mother of twins. Not, like, not 40 mother twins. 

Kelsey Silva [21:55 - 22:02]: Like, oh, my God. Yeah. Personality 100. 

Xavier [22:02 - 22:13]: So we are then treated to a wonderful video package of just basically, like, Sable like, becoming, like. It was basically, like. 

Kelsey Silva [22:13 - 22:16]: And they previewed it with her. She's literally in the locker room, and. 

Xavier [22:16 - 22:24]: She'S, like, putting on just, like, just. Yeah, it's just like, the final. Like, it's just blush. You know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [22:24 - 22:31]: It's just like. It's fake as hell. I know there's not on that brush. I know that brush has nothing on it. And she's just going like this. 

Xavier [22:32 - 22:37]: So be her. Her face is beat into position like that is. 

Kelsey Silva [22:37 - 22:51]: And God bless. But, like, they're like, pretend it's not. And so she was just like. And they're like, Sable, like, what she's been going through. Honestly, I wish someone did that for me every time already. 

Xavier [22:51 - 22:56]: I was just like, so. So, yeah, you and Mark Miro. It stems from jealousy. 

Kelsey Silva [22:59 - 23:04]: Okay. At least mine's rooted in respect. I don't know what his is rooted in. In evil. I don't know. 

Xavier [23:04 - 23:17]: Right. Yeah. Just ire. That shouldn't be there. Mark Miro, of course, again, the video package, the whole history, it's basically just Mark Miro being like, don't steal my shine. Sable being like, I can't help it. 

Kelsey Silva [23:17 - 23:26]: Literally, I'm sorry. I have these amazing titties and incredible hair. Stellar outfits and a personality. 

Xavier [23:26 - 23:37]: It's that. It's Gretchen and Wieners. Like, apology. Before she, like, jumps into, like, the. But she's like, what is. She's like, I'm sorry. You're so pretty. I'm sorry, we're so pretty. 

Kelsey Silva [23:39 - 23:48]: Oh, yeah. Or like, she's like, I'm so sorry that, like, I'm so pretty and, like, everyone, like, can't deal with that or something. And then she's like. And everyone's like, she's so right. 

Xavier [23:48 - 23:52]: And then they. No, they just like. No, they all move and then she falls on. 

Kelsey Silva [23:52 - 24:04]: Oh, okay. So I was thinking of Regina George. The Gretchen Wieners is the other, I think is the one where she falls and Karen is the only one to catch her. I don't hate you because you're fat. You're happy because I hate you. 

Xavier [24:05 - 24:06]: It's so good. 

Kelsey Silva [24:06 - 24:09]: Which is literally what Paul Bearer basically says later. 

Xavier [24:09 - 24:10]: No, 100. 

Kelsey Silva [24:10 - 24:13]: I just realized we'll get to it. Put a pin in that. 

Xavier [24:14 - 24:36]: So, and then that whole video package, like, slides into how basically Mark Miro, because of his jealousy, replaces Sable with goldust. And then Luna via gold dust is how. 

Kelsey Silva [24:37 - 25:00]: It's really funny because when you condense it into, like, one, like, play by play of the thought, you're like, this man is batshit. One more time. You're like. Like, this is kind of weird. Whatever. But when it's like, like the condensed retelling, you're like, this is. Something is really wrong here. Super weird. 

Xavier [25:00 - 25:37]: So, yeah, so Mark Miro tries to replace his super banging hot wife with a drag version of his super hot wife. And then the, like, female manager of the drag version of his super hot wife. And then so his super hot wife wife is just relegated to the back, except for when she doesn't listen and comes out and the whole crowd loves it. And then she wants to fight Luna because Luna apparently is trying to replace her girl. 

Kelsey Silva [25:37 - 26:19]: We need to fight this man. Like, yes, yes. Is there. There's something like, I don't know, just let her have him, I guess. But, like, just, I don't know, like, we need to fight this man. Like, this man. Girls, rise up. I can't do this anymore. Like, it's not. You're also, I want to say, listen to Luna. Your soulmate is not that that woman's husband. And also some of you need to hear that too. Your soulmate is not that woman's husband. Okay, it's not that. It's not that woman's girl boyfriend. It's also not that woman's girlfriend either. But it's. It's really. It's not. It's not that woman's husband, Luna. 

Xavier [26:19 - 26:38]: Okay, so funny. Please. Oh, so that is all ongoing Mark Miro comes out for his match. Sable comes out to cheers. He sends her immediately to the back. It's like, why did she even try? 

Kelsey Silva [26:38 - 26:40]: I. Girl, what. 

Xavier [26:41 - 26:43]: What are you doing? Why? 

Kelsey Silva [26:44 - 26:46]: I just. It's so hard to watch. 

Xavier [26:47 - 27:59]: No. 100. Mark Miro and Tom Brady. Tom Brandy, not Tom Brady, have fi. It's a fine match. It's back and forth. It's whatever that the match is not the story. Luna comes out, you know, clear, clear, rate, skirt and all. Comes out to, like, be play Mark Miro's manager. And then, of course, that prompts a Sable chant from the crowd, like, hello, hello, hello. Luna gets actually involved in the match, trips Tom Brandy. That allows Mark Miro to hit the low blow and then the TKO and picks up the victory. So we're like, oh, here we go. Mark Miro is going to be like, now I. Now I'm winning matches. Like when Sable's not around, blah, blah, blah. I was like, here in. And then girl, Luna gets all wild, crazy and just starts. She plants one on Mark Miro and he's like, oh, what? Like, that's not what I was here for. 

Kelsey Silva [28:00 - 28:06]: That's not what. The point of this was shocking. 100%, the way you were acting like. 

Xavier [28:06 - 28:13]: I would have thought, like, he's like. But no, actually, I think it. I think personally it should be that he just wants gold dust. But. 

Kelsey Silva [28:13 - 28:30]: And you know what? I agree with that because we also. There was a little moment where they said that Mark Mirror was Goldust had a falling out because he tried to move Sable out of the way. Like, Goldust tried to, like, move Sable out of the way or something. And I honestly think he was more mad at gold dust because he was like, no, you're for me. Don't go for her. 

Xavier [28:30 - 28:32]: Right. 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [28:32 - 28:33]: So I can see that. 

Xavier [28:34 - 28:42]: So Gold does a tax mark mural from behind. What? In what? I'm going. Not like that. 

Kelsey Silva [28:44 - 28:47]: I was like, so good. 

Xavier [28:49 - 29:03]: And then he do. Oh, he do. And then Sable comes down, of course, and because she has to lay hands on Luna because obviously, obviously, you just. 

Kelsey Silva [29:03 - 29:05]: Kiss my man on national television. 

Xavier [29:05 - 29:07]: No, 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [29:07 - 29:08]: Somebody's getting hands laid on them. 

Xavier [29:10 - 29:12]: 100. I will not be made a fool. 

Kelsey Silva [29:15 - 29:15]: So. 

Xavier [29:15 - 29:41]: So that. That goes down. They, of course, get separated by a slew of officials and whatnot. And Sable shoves Mark Miro to the ground because they get into it. And then Mark Miro, like, Sable's, like, storming out of the ring after the first shove to the ground. And she comes back down at the re like the request of Mark Miro. 

Kelsey Silva [29:41 - 29:42]: This pissed me off. 

Xavier [29:42 - 29:55]: And then Mark Miro, just as soon as Sable enters the R just leaves. He leaves because he has to be the one. He has to be the one to leave first because he's. He is that. 

Kelsey Silva [29:55 - 30:05]: That you summon me like I'm a dog. You're standing in the ring and you whistle. Oh, sorry. See, I was really mad. 

Xavier [30:05 - 30:09]: Like, oh, girl, I. I have dropped the C word. I dropped the F word, girl. 

Kelsey Silva [30:09 - 30:43]: Like, you. You summon me. You make me get back in this ring just so you can leave. Oh, my God, I was so mad. I was like, don't you ever make me come over to you just so you can walk away from me. I will stab you like no, 100%. And it's so funny, someone in the. The audience had a sign that just said, what the hell was that? And so, like some. Whatever was going on in the match, suddenly just this guy holds up the sign like, what the hell was that? Like? And I was like, thank you to this man because what the hell was that? 

Xavier [30:43 - 30:46]: Thank you to this man is correct. Cracked. What the hell was it? 

Kelsey Silva [30:46 - 30:50]: What the hell? Also, someone just had a sign. Home Depot sucks. 

Xavier [30:51 - 30:59]: If you have. If you have, like, you know, the platform, go to town, take your shot. 

Kelsey Silva [31:00 - 31:17]: I bet someone who worked at Home Depot was like, hey, I wonder why that. Why? And I wonder if they had a meeting like, hey, so, so weird on. On WWE last night, holding a sign in Cleveland. So all the Cleveland locations were probably like, like a guy circle up. Something happened. 

Xavier [31:17 - 31:18]: I don't know. 

Kelsey Silva [31:18 - 31:19]: I don't know what happened. 

Xavier [31:20 - 31:23]: Not them round rounding the wagons of. 

Kelsey Silva [31:26 - 31:43]: People to discuss this one sign. But I just. This storyline is so crazy because it is so crazy. Like, I don't like Luna and Mark is just not. It's not what it is. Is. It's not what it is. 

Xavier [31:43 - 31:44]: It's not what it is. 

Kelsey Silva [31:44 - 31:45]: It's not what it is. 

Xavier [31:45 - 31:46]: Put it away, girl. 

Kelsey Silva [31:46 - 31:55]: Put it away. I don't want to see it. I don't. To be honest. Like, I. Again, I would actually rather, like you said, rather more gold dust than Mark. I think I was more believable to me. 

Xavier [31:56 - 31:56]: Thank you. 

Kelsey Silva [31:56 - 32:02]: He was more excited to see Goldust dressed as Sable than he was to see Luna, period. 

Xavier [32:03 - 32:30]: Yeah. So thank you. Moving on. So in our next contest we have Owen Hart part taking on Mark Henry. And this one's for the European Championship. We love to see. I haven't seen Owen in a minute. Haven't seen Mark Henry in a minute. Great to see Mark Henry, Sergeant Slaughter comes out and sends back the entirety of the nation and period. But like, where were you in the last match? I. I ask you, like, really and. 

Kelsey Silva [32:30 - 32:40]: Truly, because I swear, and I think he came out at like the very last minute and I'm pretty sure somebody on commentary said like, like, oh, well, it's about, it's a little too late for this commission. 

Xavier [32:41 - 32:42]: 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [32:42 - 32:42]: Whatever. 

Xavier [32:43 - 32:47]: I thought this was like probably the best match of the evening. 

Kelsey Silva [32:48 - 32:53]: Yes, easily. I would say that. And then the six man tag, even though it was short, was. 

Xavier [32:53 - 33:33]: Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. The, the whole spiel, the whole psychology is Owen trying to chop down Mark Henry. Mark Henry is a giant, giant competitor. Owen is, is not by male stretches of the imagination. So it's basically him trying to use his technique to outdo power. China comes down because she's hot. That and, and Owen Hart has a match against Triple H at WrestleMania 14. So she's coming out to create some chaos cause play head games, scout the competition. All the above. 

Kelsey Silva [33:33 - 33:51]: Love to see it. I will say, I know we, we missed two weeks because of Netflix. I don't know what happened in the last two weeks, but suddenly there's 10 million China signs. A million China, will you marry me? China's so hot. China's the best China there. And I just want to say check the track. I've been on this. 

Xavier [33:51 - 33:52]: Thank you. 

Kelsey Silva [33:52 - 34:02]: Y' all can get in line. I've been here. I've been waiting. I'm sorry, you guys just woke up. I slept here, here. I've been here all night. That's my friend. 

Xavier [34:02 - 34:18]: Not been here all night. Thirty years after the fact. She must have been here all night. I'm dead. But that's honestly true though, as far as the show, as far as the show is concerned. She been here for China, period. 

Kelsey Silva [34:18 - 34:21]: That's my girl. It's my friend. It's my, my sister. 

Xavier [34:22 - 34:53]: So good. Mark Henry uses China's appearance to his advantage. Gets the upper hand. I love that with somebody the size of Mark Henry, like anything you, anything he does, like normal moves just look worse. Like the belly to belly he did to Owen looked like he crushed him. And when it's flattened and dead, like, check him. He is a faceless penny under a railroad now. 

Kelsey Silva [34:53 - 34:58]: He went, he's like when he used to put like the pennies in those machines and crank it and make it like a weird flat. 

Xavier [34:58 - 34:59]: Like right? 

Kelsey Silva [34:59 - 35:04]: Yes. Or leave them on the train tracks. Like if you love pennies on the train tracks. 

Xavier [35:04 - 35:06]: Squish, squish. 

Kelsey Silva [35:06 - 35:12]: When he did that elbow drop on him, I was like, surely Owen has died. God rest his soul. 

Xavier [35:14 - 35:25]: Crazy. Owen's really going for the sharpshooter on this one. Of course, Mark Henry with his tree trunks was not gonna let that happen easily. He kicks out of that, like, twice. 

Kelsey Silva [35:25 - 35:26]: Yeah. 

Xavier [35:26 - 36:11]: Owen hits a missile drop kick, follows it up with a flying elbow, and then he's finally able to do this do to do the sharpshooter, only for China to jump up on the apron. Owen drops the sharpshooter and is like, you need to stay in your lane, Ms. Girly. And then he does the very questionable climbs, like, turns his back to her, climbs the top rope, and then she yeets him into the waiting arms of Mark Henry, where he puts on a bear hug. And that man, literally, they were talking about him, like, just throwing around, like, £900 casually. So I imagine your internal organs are probably pretty easy. 

Kelsey Silva [36:11 - 36:14]: A little rifled, right? 

Xavier [36:14 - 36:27]: Big squish. We think that's going to be the end of Owen and his title reign. When China comes up behind Mark Henry tree and hits the sandbags, like, what are we doing? 

Kelsey Silva [36:29 - 36:31]: I was like, hello. 

Xavier [36:32 - 36:32]: Right? 

Kelsey Silva [36:32 - 36:37]: Didn't you just put him in this situation? Why not just let him win with the sharpshooter? 

Xavier [36:37 - 36:39]: That's what I was saying. 

Kelsey Silva [36:39 - 36:55]: I don't understand. Like, she was like, you have to win by. I guess, like, win by my mind. Like, know that I. I was like, are you in love with him or something? Like, what's going on, girl? Girl? Like, and. And when they asked her why she did it, she just said, because I. 

Xavier [36:55 - 36:56]: Can, which is great. 

Kelsey Silva [36:56 - 37:05]: Which is honestly really hot, because I can. I can do whatever I want. I'm in charge here. Y' all just keep sleeping on me. 

Xavier [37:05 - 37:05]: No. 

Kelsey Silva [37:05 - 37:07]: And I swear, I love it. 

Xavier [37:08 - 37:08]: I love it. 

Kelsey Silva [37:09 - 37:09]: I love her. 

Xavier [37:10 - 37:18]: So that was great. Next we get just the delightful tag team of Taka Michinoku and the Headbangers, which was just great. 

Kelsey Silva [37:19 - 37:19]: Sensational. 

Xavier [37:21 - 37:45]: They had Taka do their little, like, moshing dance thing. Great stuff. The Rock and Roll Express comes out with Barry Windham. We're still doing this NWA thing, but in our, you know, absence and inability to find the episodes. Thanks, Netflix. We missed the Headbangers becoming the NWA Tag team champion. 

Kelsey Silva [37:45 - 37:46]: I know. 

Xavier [37:46 - 37:49]: Which I was. I'm sure was a great time. 

Kelsey Silva [37:49 - 37:51]: I'm sure it was, right? 

Xavier [37:51 - 38:06]: 100%. They get taka. They. The Headbangers do basically, like, a little promo calling the NWA old. And Taka calls Jim Cornett and Ass Jackass, which I thought was Great. 

Kelsey Silva [38:07 - 38:08]: Wonderful. 

Xavier [38:08 - 38:30]: Right? This match was very fast, very chaotic, lots of in and out. Junior on commentary says that the NWA has Titanic tendencies. And then is like, I'm talking about the sinking part, of course. And you're like, oh, okay, got it. Got it. 

Kelsey Silva [38:30 - 38:44]: So funny. He literally, like, what a crazy joke to set up. He's like, they have Titanic tendencies. And you're like, okay, so they're larger than life. They're whatever. And he goes. The sinking part. You're like, girl. But he got me. He didn't chuckle out of me. It was funny. 

Xavier [38:44 - 38:46]: No, I thought it was great. 

Kelsey Silva [38:46 - 38:47]: It. 

Xavier [38:48 - 39:19]: So the headbangers win when Headbanger M gets the better of Jim Cornett grabbing his loaded tennis racket and using it on one of the members of the Rock and Roll Express to pick up the victory. It's great stuff. They're, like, backtracking, like, out of the ring when Jim Cornett challenges them for the NWA Tag Team Championships. And Kelsey made up a good point. And it's like, how many times do I literally have to beat you? Like, I. What are we doing? 

Kelsey Silva [39:19 - 39:33]: This will be the. You're challenging me to a third time. I just done beat you twice, right? He's like, if you had any guts, you would fight us next week. It's like, girl, apparently I can fight you every week. Is. It's not going to make a difference. What do you mean? What. What? I don't understand now. 

Xavier [39:34 - 39:34]: Dumb. 

Kelsey Silva [39:34 - 39:35]: No, girl. 

Xavier [39:35 - 39:36]: Bye. 

Kelsey Silva [39:36 - 39:37]: Bye. 

Xavier [39:37 - 40:58]: Bye. So in our next segment, we have Vince McMahon standing in the middle of the ring. He's ready to interview Mike Tyson. It. And, you know, he does the intro. Mike Tyson and his entourage come out, and almost immediately interrupted by dx. We're like, oh, here we go. Yeah, great, Great. It's going to be just like the Austin confrontation. Just insert different wrestler. So Shawn Michaels grabs the microphone. He's like, we are not out here to disrespect you, because that's not what we do. Funny. And then he's like, we here at Degeneration X call out people to their face, which, again, I. Right. And then this. He's like, this is us calling your ass out. And we're like, okay. And then they're like. Then they, like, basically, like, go as if they're going to, like, throw down Mike Tyson and. And hbk. And the ring actually clears out this time. So to me, that's my red flag. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Last time. Last time, you, like, the second Austin moved, y' all were all over It. And then now, like, everyone was just like, no, cool. Like, let's clear the space, like, give them room. Like, let's let them like be boys about it. 

Kelsey Silva [40:59 - 41:05]: I swear. Let those boys duke it out. I didn't even think of that. 

Xavier [41:05 - 41:32]: Right, right. So they're all like, just jawjacking and like, why I oughtain each other, basically because they finally, like get hands on each other. And Shawn Michaels rips Mike Tyson's shirt off. And he's wearing a DX shirt underneath. And it's a big celebration. DX music hits. They're all dancing around the ring. They're crotch chopping everybody. 

Kelsey Silva [41:33 - 41:33]: It's. 

Xavier [41:34 - 41:37]: Yeah. Mike Tyson is a member of Degeneration. 

Kelsey Silva [41:37 - 42:25]: X. I can't take any more of these shirt reveals. It's not good for my health. I like the. What was the other one? Was it Mark Henry? Was the shirt reveal for the nation. And now the. I have to say, I really did not see this coming at all. Not even a little. I was like, what? Like, I literally was floored, flabbergasted, gooped and gagged. I really, I did not see this coming at all. I was like, what? But you're right, they cleared the ring. Why didn't I think of that? New to wrestling. Damn it. Like, Dinkle. I. What, like, what do we even do? What do we do? What do I do now? What do I do with this information? 

Xavier [42:25 - 42:42]: You just watch. You just watch. Next we have Steve Blackman taking on comma Mustafa. Once again, Sergeant Slaughter comes out to kick out all of the nation. They're both described as walking weapons because they both have like a martial arts background. 

Kelsey Silva [42:43 - 42:43]: Right. 

Xavier [42:44 - 42:47]: This match is chunky. This matches chunky boots. 

Kelsey Silva [42:48 - 42:52]: And they done made my boy see Blackman shave his chest hair. And I just don't think that's fair. 

Xavier [42:53 - 43:06]: Yeah, unnecessary move. But then. And it's just like, I don't know. Steve, Steve boy is rough on taking them bumps. They look like he don't want to take them. You know what I mean? 

Kelsey Silva [43:07 - 43:07]: Yeah. 

Xavier [43:08 - 43:52]: So we'll just flash forward on that. I'm not gonna get into it too much, but the, the. This match ends when the nation comes in and attacks Steve Blackman. On the behalf of Comma, of course. I. And you made this point, think it's a great combo that Ken Shamrock comes out to save the day. And I'm like, oh, this is good. You got these like complete, right? These like, you know, outsiders of like, you know, UFC fighter esque people like, give me that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Kelsey Silva [43:52 - 44:13]: They. They even like Their like, body type is kind of similar. Like, it' probably denser, like more. More bulky. But like, they have very similar energy. So as soon as Ken came out, I was like, this link up makes complete sense to me. And I'm. I'm actually. I don't know why I didn't think of it, but now seeing them together, I'm like, yeah, obviously 100. 

Xavier [44:13 - 44:27]: Yeah. And I just happened that Faru came out in the, like, Jenny from the block hat and I thought that was. So it sent me. He's wearing the world's tightest sweater. And he. 

Kelsey Silva [44:27 - 44:35]: He's just got that like, leather, like, newsboy kind of hat on. But it's like, also, it was like comically, like, tall. 

Xavier [44:35 - 44:38]: I don't know. Well, because he got like a fro, basically. 

Kelsey Silva [44:38 - 45:01]: Like, yeah. Ot, I didn't. I forgot because I thought it was maybe just like a little too small for his head. So it was like sitting up higher. But that makes more sense to me. But also, he was wearing like a. He was wearing like a grout fit. Like, it was like gray tight pants, man's world's grayest and tightest sweater, gray shoes, black leather daddy hat. 

Xavier [45:01 - 45:02]: Like, no, it's terrible. 

Kelsey Silva [45:02 - 45:04]: It's weird vibes. 

Xavier [45:05 - 45:45]: No. Yeah. What weirder vibes is the next segment because un. Uncalled for by anybody, unasked for by the world. We get the world's longest introduction by the world's most hokey man, man, who turns out to be Tennessee Lee, the now, like, new manager of the returning Double J, Double Jeff Jarrett, who's no longer with the NWA because they couldn't handle a man as multifaceted as Double Jeff Jared. 

Kelsey Silva [45:45 - 45:50]: Literally just nasty work it. 

Xavier [45:50 - 46:07]: And it's all like, this is all to the soundtrack of the world's most, like, boring ist. Country est nursery rhyme tune. And you're just like, can we please. If you're going to do something different, do something different. 

Kelsey Silva [46:07 - 46:10]: I swear, that is such a good point. 

Xavier [46:10 - 46:31]: Like, are you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You went on this like, you came back and you wanted to be treated different in, like, a new thing and you wanted to be the star of the NWA then, like, babe, that's your thing. Thing. Like, I swear, why are we being presented with just an old rehashed, like, I don't know, lazy. 

Kelsey Silva [46:31 - 46:51]: It's completely lazy. And honestly, mama, this is the attitude era. We're bringing back the. The weird, like, pimp hat kind of thing with the glasses that glow and the weird, like, leotard shredded. Like, that's what we're doing for the attitude era. That's what. That was their brilliant plan to, like. 

Xavier [46:52 - 46:58]: We need Jeff Jarrett to dress like a slutty Power Ranger to elevate what's going on here. 

Kelsey Silva [46:58 - 47:28]: A slutty Power Ranger that was attacked by a wolf and leotard shredded. I just. Like, this was. That was it. That's. That was the. The grand plan. Because you could have gone like, oh, I'm the robe from, like, the. The nwa, And I'm, like, gonna, like. Like, you know what I mean? Give me something like. I don't know. I don't need to do this whole singer, songwriter, wrestler, like, entertainer. I don't. Shut up. I don't care, D. I don't care. I don't care. 

Xavier [47:28 - 47:28]: Dumb. 

Kelsey Silva [47:29 - 47:30]: Hey, thanks. I hate it. 

Xavier [47:31 - 47:38]: Terrible. So he has a match against Flash Funk, which. It's fine. Like, it's. It's fine. 

Kelsey Silva [47:38 - 47:39]: It's fine. 

Xavier [47:39 - 47:41]: Poor, poor Flash Funk has to be on the receiving end of this. This. 

Kelsey Silva [47:41 - 47:42]: This poor guy. 

Xavier [47:43 - 47:54]: Just nonsense. From Tennessee Lee. Flash Funk gets knocked off the top rope. Figure four, Double J wins. 

Kelsey Silva [47:55 - 48:05]: Hate to see it, though. Someone in the crowd had a sign. It was like, wwf and then, like, used it as we want Flash Funk. And I was like, and thank you. 

Xavier [48:05 - 48:07]: And thank you, and thank you. 

Kelsey Silva [48:07 - 48:08]: Because this. 

Xavier [48:08 - 48:09]: This is a crime. 

Kelsey Silva [48:10 - 48:41]: Just. It's a crime. It's a crime. It made me. It made me remember that because he had left right when we started the show. And then we got. Jesse J. Is like, I can't wait to see my baby tonight. And I. It made me, like, relive the PTSD of every time Jesse J. Came out of doing G, like, singing the I can't wait to be home with my baby. And I was like, no. I was like, get out. Get out. 

Xavier [48:41 - 48:49]: Like, yeah. And. Yeah. And this is Jesse J. Not price tag for. For all of y' all. Listen. Listening at home. 

Kelsey Silva [48:51 - 48:52]: Sorry. 

Xavier [48:52 - 49:13]: No, please. It's fine. Mike Tyson is asked backstage, like, why. Why? Michael Cole always with the why? He just sounds like he just got broken up with, so. And Triple H basically swoop. He's like, because we're winning winners, Duh. Like, Mike Tyson wants to hang out with winners. 

Kelsey Silva [49:13 - 49:14]: We're winners, Pinhead. 

Xavier [49:15 - 49:18]: Yeah. It was like, this is crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [49:18 - 49:19]: Not Pinhead, Larry. 

Xavier [49:19 - 49:26]: And then that cuts us into a video package which is essentially, like, the demise of the legion. 

Kelsey Silva [49:26 - 49:28]: I'm disgusted, and I won't believe it. 

Xavier [49:28 - 49:49]: Yeah. Apparently, because the Legion of Doom has been on a downward slump the last few months, it has created tension between the ones great tag team. So apparently the two came to blows last week and are no longer on speaking terms. 

Kelsey Silva [49:51 - 51:09]: I rebuke it in the name of the. I rebuke it. I will not believe this. I. Oh, again, it's like, because they're saying that the reason and especially because it's so much interference from the New age Outlaws, which I do want to say this. I will say the new age Outlaws, the way they have come in and ruined, like, team after team, even just emotionally is so crazy. And I will. That's kind of a serve. But I. I'm like, again, we need to fight that man. Why are we fighting each other? For their, like, fight that man. Why are we fighting each other? I'm so sick of this. Sisters, rise up. I'm done with this. I can't. I can't. You can't. Lod you. They're like, we grew up together. We've been besties. We do everything together. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, and now y' all lost a few times to these. These goofballs on the dumpster. And it's curtains for the most respected tag team in the business. I won't believe it. I shan't believe it. I shan't. I can't. I can't do it. Get out of here. And also, also curse you, Bob Netflix. Why can't I see what actually happened? I need the footage. 

Xavier [51:09 - 51:10]: Thank you. 

Kelsey Silva [51:10 - 51:16]: Attacking each other in the locker room. I. I deny the allegations since I've seen nothing. 

Xavier [51:17 - 51:19]: Well, it was in the. It was in the video package. 

Kelsey Silva [51:21 - 51:30]: No, literally, we saw exact footage of it. I saw everything. Whatever. But, like, I just. I won't let them go out. I won't. 

Xavier [51:30 - 51:32]: Well, stay tuned. 

Kelsey Silva [51:34 - 51:35]: So evil. 

Xavier [51:35 - 51:53]: Stay tuned. But that takes us into what is going to be our main event, which is Kane taking on Stone Cold Steve Austin. Kane comes out and Junior on commentary goes. He comes directly from hell. You're like, all right. 

Kelsey Silva [51:53 - 51:55]: Like, he took the elevator up to get to work. 

Xavier [51:56 - 51:57]: No. What? 

Kelsey Silva [51:58 - 52:01]: Like, he came directly from hell. 

Xavier [52:01 - 52:11]: Raisy. Basically, Paul Bear grabs the mic briefly and he's like, stone Cold, you're going to wake up next to taker in hell. And you're like, okay, great. 

Kelsey Silva [52:12 - 52:12]: Next. 

Xavier [52:12 - 52:31]: Stone Cold's again, not one to mince words. His music hits. He comes out, sees something, goes to go investigate what that is. Turns out to be Triple H turns around, sweet chin music right to the face. And he's out. Out like a light. 

Kelsey Silva [52:31 - 52:40]: I will say they sold this like 100. The way stone Cold dropped like a bag of rocks, right? Wow. 

Xavier [52:40 - 52:46]: Crazy. And they were. Audi 3000. They said goodbye. We're not. We're not staying here. 

Kelsey Silva [52:46 - 52:53]: They've learned. They've learned not to linger. They've learned. They. They ba. And then they hit and run, baby. 

Xavier [52:53 - 52:54]: Hit and run. 

Kelsey Silva [52:55 - 52:55]: I. 

Xavier [52:58 - 53:23]: So, yeah, absolutely crazy. So they run. They make their way out of there. Austin takes off, takes off after them. DX has apparently left the building. Austin does not know that. So he's on a wild goose chase. Paul Bear takes this time. He goes again back to what we saw. We're talking about the beginning of the episode. And he's like, it's time. Like. And he's like. 

Kelsey Silva [53:23 - 53:25]: He's like, wallace, have your attention? He's like, excuse me. 

Xavier [53:26 - 53:27]: No, 100%. 

Kelsey Silva [53:27 - 53:44]: So what I was saying before, like, oh, my God. And again, it's kind of uny. Like, because he's like, well, I. I'm out here when I was told he's running around, like, doing whatever. So I'm gonna take my time while I got my time, 100%. And that's kind of a suburb. 

Xavier [53:44 - 53:51]: I don't hate that he gets so dramatic about it. He goes. He's like, kane, go get me the bell. 

Kelsey Silva [53:51 - 53:53]: Fetch me my belt. 

Xavier [53:53 - 54:13]: No, literally. And while in the process of that, Kane takes out a fan. Not only does he take him and throw him over the barricade onto the floor, then takes him and throws him into the ring steps. It's definitely like a training, like a wrestling. Like. Yeah, because I was like, no, you can't just do that to fans. That's definitely just. 

Kelsey Silva [54:13 - 54:16]: We watch that one time where the guy ran in and they decked his. 

Xavier [54:16 - 54:21]: Well, no, that's different. If you run into the ring of your own accord, you are getting punched, you're getting your. 

Kelsey Silva [54:22 - 54:23]: And that's a. That's. Amen. 

Xavier [54:23 - 54:28]: But you. They. They're not about to just go ripping people out of the crowd. 

Kelsey Silva [54:28 - 54:31]: Him like a daisy right out of the seat, right? 

Xavier [54:31 - 54:35]: And then he goes, bring the bell and the. And the timekeeper. 

Kelsey Silva [54:35 - 54:37]: Bring me my timekeeper. Win. 

Xavier [54:39 - 54:40]: Insane work. 

Kelsey Silva [54:40 - 54:44]: It's. Honestly, I hate that you made me think of him this way. 

Xavier [54:44 - 54:47]: It's so funny. Isn't it funny? 

Kelsey Silva [54:48 - 54:49]: It is. I hate it. 

Xavier [54:49 - 55:03]: He goes. He's like, I. I've been like, he's. I. I love this because it's just so, like. It's so petty and, like, mean. He's just like, ugh. I've been remiss. I have forgotten this. Weeks, weeks ago. 

Kelsey Silva [55:04 - 55:05]: I saw my face. 

Xavier [55:05 - 55:27]: No, literally, we must Pay respect to the undertaker with a 10 bell salute. And then has the timekeeper, like, man, hands on this man, like, do the salute. Like he's just like at a bank, like being held ransom. Like, it's. It's crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [55:28 - 55:33]: It's really wild. And he's like on his knees singing for his supper. 

Xavier [55:33 - 56:02]: Damn. And then, so when we get through the 10 bell salute, we're like, great, got it. And then Paul Bear again, being the. The cuny little princess he is, he goes, and ring, and ring. One more for yourself because you're going to need it. And, and know, literally he's like, choke slam, please. And then he choke slams him. And then, and then literally immediately he's like. And a tombstone. Like he's ordering. 

Kelsey Silva [56:02 - 56:04]: Would love to see a tombstone. 

Xavier [56:05 - 56:08]: Like he's ordering off the menu. It's so good. 

Kelsey Silva [56:08 - 56:13]: They're like, is there anything else? He goes, you know what? I'm gonna be crazy. Get to him soon too. 

Xavier [56:13 - 56:15]: 100. I'm gonna be so bad. 

Kelsey Silva [56:15 - 56:21]: I'm gonna be so bad. Oh, my God, it's horrible. So that poor timekeeper. 

Xavier [56:22 - 56:31]: No. Yeah. So then Paul's of course, like feeling. He's. He's on high. He's riding that cloud. He's basically, he's like, is anybody, like, what is it? 

Kelsey Silva [56:31 - 57:05]: Like he has one more a tombstone or a pile driver for somebody or like a choke slam for somebody else. One more. Who you? And he says, junior, like jar. Like he was jar. You jar. And then he says, he calls the king princess. He goes, what about you, princess? You want to get up here? Take a tombstone from anybody? Oh, it's really honest. Thank God we watched this episode. No, I'm telling you, I was turned. This was so crazy. 

Xavier [57:07 - 57:14]: Anybody? Oh, it's so good. He's just like, anyone want to step right up? 

Kelsey Silva [57:14 - 57:16]: Who's going to come down and take it? 

Xavier [57:17 - 57:27]: Oh, so crazy. And then the lights go out. It's all black. Undertaker go. Gongs on repeat. 

Kelsey Silva [57:28 - 57:28]: Demented. 

Xavier [57:29 - 57:30]: Love it. 

Kelsey Silva [57:30 - 58:06]: I was literally. You guys, this is so disturbing because again, we haven't seen Undertaker since Royal Rumble. Heard that gong. Immediate tears in my eyes. Literal sickening. I was like, oh, my God, is it really him? Because he might not come out. Like, I don't know. He could be putting my. I don't know. Like, I was literally like hyper ventilating because I was like, there's no way they're gonna wait till Wrestlemania. Like, he's not gonna come back. Like, like, whatever. And then. 

Xavier [58:06 - 58:07]: Good. 

Kelsey Silva [58:07 - 58:14]: And they kept bringing that gong and I And I finally was like, well, like, no. Is he gonna come? Like, I was losing it. 

Xavier [58:14 - 58:27]: I was getting so, so, so. Yes. So the gong's going off. Paul bearer is, like, basically trying to assure us all that it is not him. Him. He's not back. It can't be. 

Kelsey Silva [58:28 - 58:34]: And then Paul Bear is like, are you doing this, Junior? And J's like, I'm literally sitting right. 

Xavier [58:34 - 59:07]: No, like, you can see me. And then we get a wide shot of the top of the entrance ramp where the casket is sitting. A lightning bolt strikes the casket off of the platform. And it's just the undertaker sitting there. Just. Just. Just crazy. He sits up, turns, and Kelsey's ass, I'm sure, fell out. Like, I, like, like it crazy. 

Kelsey Silva [59:07 - 59:13]: That's that, Like, I literally go to. I'm watching it, and I go to Xavier, go, this is television. 

Xavier [59:13 - 59:15]: No, literally, so good. 

Kelsey Silva [59:15 - 59:18]: This. I go. We come to this place for magic. 

Xavier [59:20 - 59:22]: Was it heartbreak? 

Kelsey Silva [59:22 - 59:49]: No, literally, heartbreak feels good in a place like this. I. Oh, my God. The lightning bolts. The lightning bolts. It never. It never fails to gag me, because again, sometimes. Bimbo316 lightning inside. How'd you do that? Like, when they did it for Buried Alive, I still was like, holy. That's the craziest I've ever seen. 

Xavier [59:49 - 59:49]: Right? 

Kelsey Silva [59:50 - 59:57]: And then this time, again, I'm like, that's the craziest you'd ever seen lightning indoors. How do you do that? 

Xavier [59:58 - 59:59]: Girl, I don't know. 

Kelsey Silva [59:59 - 1:00:01]: And then he's just laying there. 

Xavier [1:00:03 - 1:00:07]: Yes, he's back, baby. So the undertaker returns. 

Kelsey Silva [1:00:08 - 1:00:09]: My father. 

Xavier [1:00:09 - 1:00:24]: And then this is just like a. An epic. Just, like, Undressing Vanola with, like, supernatural implications. Like, it's a. 

Kelsey Silva [1:00:24 - 1:00:31]: It's like the Titanomachy. Like, it's the war for, like, Olympus. It's so serious. 

Xavier [1:00:31 - 1:01:02]: It's. So he finally speaks, and he's like, welcome to hell. The crowd's losing it. And he's like. And the. And. And the demon to lead you to eternal damnation. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy. He's like. He goes in, like, addresses Paul Berry's, like, how dare you, like, take credit for my, like, absence. Like, I come and go between the worlds, like, as I please. He's like. And I was gone. Not 100 new to this. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:02 - 1:01:05]: I'm true to this. Born in the game, right? 100 in the game. 

Xavier [1:01:05 - 1:01:11]: Thank you. And he said, literally, resurrected. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:12 - 1:01:13]: Resurrected in the game. 

Xavier [1:01:17 - 1:01:31]: So he goes, this time, I was soothing the souls of my parents because I had to tell them I had to ask for forgiveness for having to do the One thing I said I would never do, and that is. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:34 - 1:01:39]: I had to ask forgiveness from our dead parents because I have to beat her grass. 

Xavier [1:01:39 - 1:01:42]: No. So good. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:42 - 1:01:43]: Incredible. 

Xavier [1:01:44 - 1:01:53]: Crazy. Crazy. And then we have, like, this weird, like, supernatural off where Kane's like, okay, well, I'll show you my powers. 

Kelsey Silva [1:01:53 - 1:01:55]: I'll show you my Boom boom, right? 

Xavier [1:01:55 - 1:02:30]: 100. And he, like, sets off, like, the fire on the top of the. The entrance ramp. And the undertaker just, like, walks through it, and it's like, no, thank you. And he's like. He's like, basically. He's like, I am the reaper or, like, of souls. Like, I am the lord of Darkness. And he's basically. And you will rest in peace. And then hits us with a blackout. And then that's it. And that's it. He disappears. He hit us with, like, just the most epic return, some literal, like, supernatural fight, and then left us with more questions. 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:30 - 1:02:38]: Creatures of the night, we ride at dawn. Cried at dawn. I am so happy now. Like, I. 

Xavier [1:02:39 - 1:02:40]: That was great. 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:40 - 1:02:46]: I can. Oh, my. This was so good. 

Xavier [1:02:46 - 1:02:47]: I know. 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:47 - 1:02:51]: So good. You can't. How. And what now? 

Xavier [1:02:52 - 1:02:52]: What now? 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:52 - 1:02:54]: Well, what now? 

Xavier [1:02:54 - 1:02:56]: And where. Where does that leave us, huh? 

Kelsey Silva [1:02:57 - 1:02:59]: Well, like, I. 

Xavier [1:03:01 - 1:03:02]: I know, I know. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:02 - 1:03:09]: I'm speechless. I literally. I was. I was screaming, I was crying, I was laughing, I was jaw on the floor. 

Xavier [1:03:09 - 1:03:12]: It took us for a ride, baby girl. A whole ride. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:12 - 1:03:14]: God, this is living. 

Xavier [1:03:15 - 1:03:16]: This is living. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:16 - 1:03:23]: I cannot. It was. I can't wait to see them. I'm like, I can't wait to see them paint. It's crazy. 

Xavier [1:03:23 - 1:03:24]: So good. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:24 - 1:03:26]: What a great episode this was. 

Xavier [1:03:27 - 1:03:46]: Amen. So this has been another edition of the New to Wrestling podcast. Thank you so much for listening, watching, subscribing, liking, commenting, all that good stuff, wherever you find us. For Kelsey, I am Xavier, and we will catch you on the next one. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:46 - 1:03:47]: We'll see you there. 

Xavier [1:03:47 - 1:03:48]: Bye. 

Kelsey Silva [1:03:48 - 1:03:52]: Bye. Sa.