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New to Wrestling Podcast
Raw Is War June 8, 1998 | Kane Buries Stone Cold & Vince’s Fake Award Backfires
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This week, we’re breaking down the June 8, 1998 episode of Raw Is War… and somehow things get even more chaotic on the road to King of the Ring.
Vince McMahon kicks things off by presenting himself as Humanitarian of the Year (??), which immediately tells you everything you need to know about how this episode is going to go.
Meanwhile:
- DX is unleashed on New York City… and yes, it’s exactly what you think it is
- The King of the Ring qualifiers are in full swing
- Undertaker spends the entire night hunting Vince like a horror movie villain
- Al Snow continues to be the most over man in the building… without wrestling
- And the show ends with a full-blown setup as Kane and Mankind ambush Stone Cold in one of the wildest closing segments yet
This episode is pure Attitude Era energy — chaotic, unhinged, and somehow still pushing every major storyline forward at once.
We’re officially on the road to King of the Ring… and you can feel it building.
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SPEAKER_00Hello and welcome to another edition of the New to Wrestling podcast. This week we watched the June 8th, 1998 edition of Raw Is War. And what? One more time?
SPEAKER_02Sorry. Oh my god. Sorry. Jaith. I'm so sorry. I have the this is horrible. This is actually, I think, mayhaps the first time this has ever happened on the show, but I have this weird tick, and my dad does too, where he'll hear two words and then just combine them in his brain and then say it. This morning I said, Oh, I need like a spring coat. And I said, a sprout.
SPEAKER_03A sprout.
SPEAKER_02And I do that. That's a horrible word. It's horrible. And then I was so, and then because I had to go through all of them, so then I was like, okay, a summer coat is a soap, a fall coat is a foat. Like, why what is that? I don't know. So I just did it live in real time, and that's horrifying. Anyway, Jaith.
SPEAKER_00Jaith. All right. Happy Jaith. June, hap, happy Jaith to everybody. Um, not so much to Junkyard Dog because he passed away.
SPEAKER_03And they opened up.
SPEAKER_00They uh sorry guys, it's been 30 years. Don't don't come at me. Rest in peace. We love the guy.
SPEAKER_02Um, junkyard dog, and icon.
SPEAKER_00Um, but they did a little tribute package to him. Um, very unlike the tribute package we'll see later on this evening.
SPEAKER_02Girl, I for someone who actually died versus someone who didn't. One of them got the Sarah McLaughlin treatment, and I'll let you guess which one it was.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Um, so the episode opens up with the goons coming out to the ring, Vince um and his lackeys. Um, if you have not been paying attention, this is this is where we're. Um, he comes out and he grabs the microphone. They're dressed to the nine in uh the black tie affair, situation suits, like it's the Oscars or something. He grabs the microphone and he's like, Um, I come to you like a humble man. Um, and he's basically like, you don't know the real me. I'm gonna show you like a side of me, um that that it like accentuates all the caring and sharing I have in my heart. And I was like, okay, with the rhyming, please stop. Yeah. Um, and he's like, I'm gonna introduce you all to the real me because later this evening in a uh upscale uh black tie event, which we we are, yes, we'll get to it, right? It's more like office Christmas party, but it's fine. Um and we are going to be honoring me as humanitarian of the year, of the humanitarian of the year, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_02Um and then they could wouldn't say by who, but I was like, who is giving you this award? Whomst name yourself because I I was like, this can't be real. Like, who is actually giving this man the humanitarian of the year award that just can't be real?
SPEAKER_00No, I nobody and also nobody, nobody and nobody exactly. Um, but he invites uh our WWF champion, Stone Cold Steve Austin, to join him in the festivities later this evening. Sure. Famous last words. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Um so that's gonna get us into our first uh matchup. We are in the swing of the King of the Ring qualifying matches. This episode is just littered with them. Three of them to be exact, we're really making our way downtown. Um we get the godfather Kama Mustafa, who's transitioning into this the godfather character more appearance-wise. They've been calling him like the godfather of the nation for a while on commentary. Um so I think he's kind of just like finding what that looks looks like.
SPEAKER_02Um I like the idea that everyone in the nation has like a title, it feels more gang-like, like you know what I mean.
SPEAKER_00But like this is my consigliary, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, exactly. And you know I love that man. Um but yeah, it's just like something more structured, but I will say the godfather, it's it's really like it's not giving the godfather like Marlon Brando, it's giving like the godfather, like your actual godfather, like your uncle. Like you know what I mean, like your your Theo, like your godfather in that way.
SPEAKER_00I got you.
SPEAKER_02You know, there's more like the won't. So it actually will give the secret third thing. It'll so I don't know. I like know a little, but I not really.
SPEAKER_00No, yeah. It's it's gonna go a little bit off the off the the the rails. No, but it's fun. It's fun. I mean, it's in not it's not unlike, you know, Val in, you know, just being crazy.
SPEAKER_02He's not the he's not the one with the girls, the bitches, right? And then he's like, I'll give you this girl if you throw the match. Yeah. And you want to know something that I really hate about myself is that I actually kind of think that's really funny.
SPEAKER_00So he kind of like he basically turns into like a pimp, a la Cat Williams. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Yes, I do.
SPEAKER_00That's a great description. Um, so that's kind of where we're we're like we're headed. Um so the the uh cigar and the top hat are just the beginning.
SPEAKER_02Because what is a pimp without their cigar and top hat? Am I night meeting without my plastic party?
SPEAKER_00I'm wondering like how many are like Yeah, girl, speak on it. My pimp always has a top hat. It's crazy. Oh, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_02I will say there is a book, I think it's just called Pimp, if I'm mistaken, or not if I'm remembering correctly, and it is by an a real pimp named Iceberg Slim. Fascinating read, but it is in such legitimate jargon that there is a glossary in the back for pimp speak.
SPEAKER_00Thank god.
SPEAKER_02It was if anyone's interested, and he did he wrote books after it, but it was his like real life story of like being a real pimp. It was that's fascinating.
SPEAKER_00I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_02Something yeah, I I'll own it to you. I have it.
SPEAKER_00You know, you know I love a page turner. Oh my god. Yeah, so so yeah, so we are in the opening uh qualifier match for King of the Ring. Um, the winner of this match is going to take on Mark Henry. Um, Ken is playing the submission game, the speed game. The godfather's the bigger, stronger one. That's kind of the dynamic we're going for. Um, Ken wins via submission. I'll just get the the long and short of it. Um, the nation comes in and attacks. Uh Ken after the match, Dan Severin comes in and kind of furthers this like uneasy alliance between Ken Shamrock and Dan Severin.
SPEAKER_02Um, yeah, and they keep putting on commentary like they hate each other, they hate each other. It's like saving my life, right?
SPEAKER_00It's just not giving that, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02No, like if you want to sell that, sell that, but it's just that's not what it is, or it's not right.
SPEAKER_00I want like a post, I want like an interaction between the two of them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because they just go like or like right.
SPEAKER_00So if they're like, I want them to get like in each other's faces, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02Because I love a reluctant allyship, right?
SPEAKER_00No, absolutely, like break them down. Love that. Break them down. Um, beautiful. Um, but yeah, I don't know where they're going with this. I really don't.
SPEAKER_02No, and I I'm happy for the link up. We know this, but yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, either be enemies to lovers or just be allies, right?
SPEAKER_00So we'll see uh where this like goes. Um, but I don't know. We'll see. We shall see. Um, and next we have a fun segment that's gonna be like a recurring one um in this episode, and it is DX running around New York City being really absolute menaces. Whoa. Um, they're running around, they're dancing with people, they're like crotch chopping, they're getting people to crotch chop, they're uh they got a girl to flash her titties, they got in an alleyway flash their titties. Was it two?
SPEAKER_02There were two different girls because she this one girl was like, as soon as it because they were like, we'll form a barrier and you can flash your titties for the TV. And she goes, You guys are gonna move at the last second. And I want to be like, girl, there's gonna put this on TV. Uh there's I don't think if the three people walking down the street saw your nipples, I don't know if it's gonna matter in the grand scheme of things, D.Va. We're recording.
SPEAKER_00No, literally.
SPEAKER_02Uh but she And I listen, do I love a girl who whips her tits out for the bit? Sure. I'm a red-blooded American.
SPEAKER_00It was wild. I just wasn't expecting it.
SPEAKER_02I wasn't either. And they said New York is the breast city in the world, and she said, it sure is, and then took her tits out.
SPEAKER_00Love that.
SPEAKER_02Love you, Queen.
SPEAKER_00She she read the assignment, understood the assignment, executed the assignment, hit every part of that rubric. Absolutely. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02She said, in this essay, I will whipped her shirt up. And they said A plus Thesis. That was my what is it? My capstone.
SPEAKER_00Beautiful. Yes, that's a semester's long project, absolutely. Um, so that is going to take us into our next contest, which is Mark Miro and his new squeeze, Jacqueline. Um, teaming up unlikely with uh Jeff Jarrett and Tennessee Lee, you know, of course, is in his honestly two delusional besties, like two toxic, delusional, yes, exactly, bitches. Let me tell you. Uh bonkers. I sure um and then they are taking on the other unlikely duo of Steve Blackman and Farouk. I know we've seen it before, but it's still just like, what are we doing?
SPEAKER_02It's so funny. I like though.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I just like I just I don't I don't understand like the what is the link. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_02What's the link? Why they're all fighting or why they're all hanging out? Like, I lit there there's not one that makes sense, if I'm being honest. Like fair, fair, because I still don't know why Steve Blackman and Double J are beefing to be real. It's like uh double Just happened like one time.
SPEAKER_00That was one time. Uh well I'm pretty sure the only losses on Steve Blackman's record are because of Jeff Jarrett. So because of Jeff Jarrett cheating, essentially.
SPEAKER_02Cheating so once they cheater, always say cheater.
SPEAKER_00And also Jeff Jarrett cheated to beat Farouk in the la last week, um, if we remember correctly. Oh um, so I guess that is the link. They both hate Jeff Jarrett, but sure. Um uh the Sable Chance bust out immediately. Immediately, immediately, love to see it. Um we find out from JR on commentary that uh Miro and Jackie are an item, like not just professionally, they are an item. He's like, um, you should see the way that they're like all over each other, like in the back. It's he's like, it's like somewhat embarrassing the way that they grope each other.
SPEAKER_02He said it's absolutely hideous and somewhat embarrassing. And you want to know what's crazy to be absolutely hideous, but only somewhat embarrassing. I love the you know, you're not just point-blank both, hitting max capacity on both.
SPEAKER_00I I think I am like the heinous need love too.
SPEAKER_02They need me to reach into my word repertoire and give them exact parameters for their behavior. And here's the thing though, she's so gorgeous, and she's so charismatic, she hasn't said one word, and I'm like hooked like she's just she has this energy about her, she's just like and she's just beautiful.
SPEAKER_00I mean, my god, and she's ripped to shreds to hide into her to shreds. Um, so the match is fine, you know. We got a typical back and forth with the um tag team action. Uh, but the the crux of it all is when Miro is on the apron getting distracted by his squeeze, only to get uh knocked off the apron by double J, uh, and which allows Steve Blackman to pick up the victory. Um, I love it. I love I love it when the bad guys get their um come-uppins. Yes, when they like uh really, really capture that use you snooze you lose kind of bit.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I will say one, absolutely love it. I love to see Steve Blackman get a win on those MFers. I why is it okay when Jacqueline does it, but not when Sable does it? Sable was too distracting and ruined your whole career, but you're out here peacocking for your girl and you're clutching her at the end like it's not your fault, you're just so beautiful. Right. Where was this energy a couple of months ago? A couple of last two weeks ago. Yeah, legit for your actual wife, sinister men anyway.
SPEAKER_00Um, but then that's gonna take us, speaking of, um, back to DX in New York City, and they are going like ooh-ooh gaga over a strip club in New York City. Girl.
SPEAKER_02Um, let's go in and get a New York slice.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, something about pie. Um, heinous. Road dog claims a bar for Ireland. Uh they were putting people in wrestling holds on the street. Uh, they got more people to do the crotch shop, they're on a tour bus, they walk out of the lady across the street. Um Triple H was being racist for like three minutes straight. Oh my god. It was, yeah, it was a time.
SPEAKER_02We were watching and like we'd be laughing, like, huh? And then we'd be like, ooh. Ooh.
SPEAKER_00Ooh. It was all light, lighthearted, and I was like, damn, you had you had to do the accent.
SPEAKER_02You had to talk about no.
SPEAKER_00Got it.
SPEAKER_02Well, well, happy 1998, everyone.
SPEAKER_00Literally. Um, and that's gonna take us into Scorpio taking on Owen Hart in another King of the Ring qualifier, and this one was amen. This I the pairing was great. Love. Um, The Nation was sent away immediately. Love that. I love that we're doing that for the King of the Ring tournaments. Me too. Um, great matchup, fun reversals. Um, I don't know if you peeped it, but Owen's elbow is like wrapped up under that uh elbow pad that he had on. I it looks down at one point, and I was like, hmm, are you actually hurt?
SPEAKER_02I thought it might have been like a compression thing, but I think you're right now that I because I just didn't really think about it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know if it's uh it's probably not so serious that like he can't wrestle. A little tweak. Yeah, um, he was definitely um avoiding it. Um, so I mean he ate it down anyway. Yeah, uh um at one point Scorpio misses the moonsault, um, tweaks his knee on the way down. Owen hits a vicious chop block, um, follows that up with a sharpshooter, um, picking up the victory, moving on in the tournament. It's great. This match was fantastic. If you guys want just like a a fun, short, really good match, go check this one out. Just two people like really complimentary styles, uh, both very good at what they do, got the point across, and it wasn't like a long match, yeah, and like such a great um such great technical elements too.
SPEAKER_02Like the beginning, I was just like, wow, that's beautifully done.
SPEAKER_00Beautifully done, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Beautifully done.
SPEAKER_00Uh so the Undertaker arrives looking big pissed. Um, and he's he's looking for Vince. They they cut to the camera back there. He's just kind of like, he's walking into the building, he's already getting in people's faces. It is going to be a theme of the evening, everybody. The Undertaker is in this episode. Um, if you wanted an Undertaker heavy episode, this is the one. Um so that's going to take us in to our next match, which is draws aka puke taking on chains. They were the last two in that uh street fight that ended um sleeping beauty style with everybody asleep on the floor. And the poppy field and wizard of oz just no, absolutely could be, and which is fitting because this looked like a cousin fight down at the trailer park.
SPEAKER_02So girly, literally, I was like, you guys are cousins on your mother's side, and I know she wouldn't want to see you two fighting.
SPEAKER_00No, literally, so it was draws and chains. Um, the sideburns mustache combo, wild, um is it is though I don't know, it just ooh, it's a choice. It was it's crazy. Um and I guess if you can sure listen, sure, I mean whatever, but also if you're a wrestler, you can probably get away with things like this, but I'm just saying it was a choice. It was it's a choice, it certainly was. Chains uh hit sorry, chains is hit with a death valley driver, other way around, draws is hit with a death valley driver by Chains. Chains picks up the victory, um, cannot cannot celebrate at all. Um, because the Undertaker comes in, chokeslams everybody. Chokeslams everybody and that will happen, is pacing around the ring, waiting for Vince. Vince is then shown up on the Titan Tron in the back, just um schmoozing, yeah, with the with the people who are giving him the award in the back, and Undertaker is understandably pissed. He goes and looks for him.
SPEAKER_02I just want to say those charity men, I love them because they are messy, they're back there chit-chatting, like blah blah blah blah with Vince. And then when we get to the award, messy, so great.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I get it. I love it. Um, so next DX comes down to the ring. Um, fantastic. They zoom in on a sign on the way down, it's just like uh paging Dr. Ass, which is so good.
SPEAKER_02And no, this is before the pre-hangover era, yeah. They that just that was just organic.
SPEAKER_00Listen, when the when the ass calls you to do, you do.
SPEAKER_02It's it's a 911 page. I am on the way.
SPEAKER_00No, 100%. As a hey man, I certainly have that ass motivating gene. That is correct.
SPEAKER_01You are you have clocked me. Clocked me, and the time is now.
SPEAKER_00No, 100%. I will lower a standard, I will change an appointment, I will.
SPEAKER_02I will put gas in my car. I will pay to put gas in my car. It's sad, sinister.
SPEAKER_00Listen, I am oh what I'm a red-blooded American. And we're back, and we're back, and we love a callback, we really do. Um, so uh DX comes down to the ring. Uh, they have business with the nation, so they say only to get interrupted by Legion of Doom 2000. They come out with like the spray paint uh football pads, very fun, very nice. Very and we get a very um screamy promo. Uh basically just it's animal. Yeah. Um, basically being like, we want a title shot and we want it now. And DX is like, whoa there, calm down. If you just if you wanted a match, no need to yell. I'll give it to you. They are so funny to me. Um, and I was like, okay. Um, DOA comes out to interrupt them because they're like, um, this is bullshit. We want a title match. Um, and DX is like, okay, well, like, give us one second. Then because now everybody's coming out of the woodwork. So they have a little accountable in the corner. Um, and then they're like, Um, well, you know, we were gonna give it to these guys, but now you guys are all doing too much, so you can all suck it, you know, and you're like, Okay, great. So turns out, yeah. Uh no, well, um, no. So no, literally, and then slaughter comes out because today he decided to work. Um, and he's like, Well, since you all can, since you all came down here, you're you're forcing me to make a decision. Hey, you clocked in today, just saying.
SPEAKER_02Um you forced me to do my job, you forced my hand to come to work today.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, sure.
SPEAKER_02When they tell on themselves.
SPEAKER_00When they tell on themselves, absolutely. So he's like, um, after a lot of thinking, um, and I was like, how much thinking could you like this just happened? This like this just occurred. Like, how much breaking fucking news? Like, how much like pondering are you doing back there? What is happening? It's fine. It's fine. So after a long ponder, um, he basically decides that they're both going to be number one contenders, and we are going to have a triple threat match for the tag team championships this evening.
SPEAKER_02I don't think I literally the crowd went ape shit, and I was like, I think this is the only time they've ever cheered for the commissioner. Obviously, we've cheered for Sergeant Slaughter, but like him in this role, I think is the only positive reception he's ever gotten.
SPEAKER_00No, actually. Um, take it in a run. It's probably not gonna happen too many more. Absolutely. I would be like Taker is backstage ripping up just everything, throwing chairs, throwing garbage, big, big man, big man. Um so very fun, and then that takes us immediately into another edge promo, and he is real, we are just girling so far into these promos. Um, the gist of it is the gist of it's like you think you know me, you don't know me, you're a puppet. Period.
SPEAKER_02And my hand is the one up your ass. That's how LOD would have ended it.
SPEAKER_00Oh, you're so right. You're so right.
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, well, I love it's like you know in Call Me by Your Name, and I know you do. Um, when he's like, This is how Beethoven would have played this song. Like we that would that's like how LOD would have done absolutely. Well, um, yeah, it's well, it's you're a puppet and my hands up your ass.
SPEAKER_00It's LOD doing an edge promo. Um, it's fine. Um, and then we get Mark Henry of the Nation taking on Vader. Um, in the words of Big E, this one is just big meaty men slapping meat. So um absolutely it it's it's just a beef fest. Um, Mark Henry slammed Vader hard, like with a with authority. Like I was he picked him up, like gave give him a little twirl, showed the people, and case you forgot him down.
SPEAKER_02I'm the world's strongest man. I will flap Jack, your biggest and baddest.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. Of course, Vader, not to be outdone, gets his his licks in, his punches in. Um Mark Henry turns a like what's going to be like a Vader splash into a power slam, crazy 450 pounds. Um, and turns out not nothing matters because Taker comes out and choke slams everybody.
SPEAKER_02So hey, um we did our best out there, but sometimes the bitches are mad.
SPEAKER_00Listen, listen. Um, and then uh we get a quick um little like replay of the events of Sable's downfall. This isn't the main promo just yet. Um that's gonna be after this next match, but it's um we they're setting us up for a for uh for a sable segment. Um, and then that's gonna take us into our last King of the Ring qualifying match of the evening, um, which is D Lo Brown taking on uh Dan Severin. Uh this one was fun.
SPEAKER_01Uh yeah, I think D-Lown like eight.
SPEAKER_00Yes, I think this one showed his personality a lot more. The trash talk is part of D Lo. Like it is it is so good.
SPEAKER_02Um I feel like it's gonna be one of those things like when they finally gave Road Dog the mic. Like D'Lo has like the pipes, the trash talk, the whatever, and we just need it need more. Also, he's such a great seller.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, I adore him.
SPEAKER_00So D Lo slaps Dan um to begin the match, only pissing Dan Severn off, obviously. So great though insane. Uh Dan snaps, grabs him into a double leg, takes him down. Um, D Lo's heel kick um is art. Period. Uh don't kick. Um uh oh, I have a note about D Lo's trash talk because it's absolutely a one. Um Jr calls Jerry Viagra Boy, and I love that nickname. I hope it sticks forever. Viagra Boy. There it goes. Okay, Viagra Boy, or like it's gonna stick in in my world on this show.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it's it's JR and Viagra Boy.
SPEAKER_00Uh oh my god. First superhero team. Second, yes. God, that comic would be so funny. I would hate read that immediately. Uh Dan uh puts D Lo in a uh bow and arrow. D Lo screams for his life. He sells like nobody's business.
SPEAKER_02Give him the Emmy.
SPEAKER_00Um this um he taps out or like he gives up like mid-scream. He's like screaming, just stops just enough to like nod. Um, it's crazy. Beautiful. Um, Owen comes in. Oh, go ahead.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say, and it looked crazy.
SPEAKER_00Oh, fantastic.
SPEAKER_02He wore him like a belt, like he stretched him across like the middle.
SPEAKER_00It was so we gotta put this one out to dry. Yes. Um, and you're like, whoa, relax there, buddy. Um then uh Owen comes down, gets a heel kick of his own on Severin, only to get chased out by Ken Shamrock, a little tip for tat, a little anything you can do, I can do better. Um, Ken is I guess his main focus is Owen. Again, he still wants that revenge for his uh snapped ankle.
SPEAKER_02Um I would too.
SPEAKER_00Same, same, absolutely. Listen, Farouk wanted his licks on Ahmed, and I'm you know, makes it completely sense.
SPEAKER_02And Ahmed wanted his licks too.
SPEAKER_00So we're here, we're here now. And we keep on looking. Amen. So next we get the tribute to Sable. We get the the Shawn Michaels when he lost his smile treatment. We get the just the uh just uh the pop sad pop ballad over just every instance of Sable ever. She it listen she sounds like she we are fundraising, fundraising for her. Meanwhile, the picture in the background is her just receiving her double slammies in nothing but the slimmest like swimsuit scene, and you're just like, what?
SPEAKER_02But like it's just the juxtaposition of like her just like looking like so hunty and like uh uh saddest Walmart brands, no offense, Queen, but Walmart brands Sarah McLaughlin song. I have it was literally like late at night at toss and turn and see your eyes in the dark.
SPEAKER_00I was like, first of all, we're not raising any funds with this.
SPEAKER_02Um I don't even I don't know. It really why did they do this? And then meanwhile, again, junkyard dog actually died, and it was like it was like pomp and circumstance, and then Sable left and they said, Let's thirst trap, let's kinky sad, my favorite. Let's kinky sad. It's gorgeous pictures of her and videos of her doing shit with the saddest music and just horrible you've ever seen.
SPEAKER_00No, bonkers, absolutely bonkers. I was just like so taken aback. I was just like, I I know, like, and I it's the thing that happens when people like stop working someplace, they talk about them like they died. Um, yes, but this we didn't need the video. I don't do the video, I don't need the eulogy, that's insane.
SPEAKER_02The video a bit, and let me tell you, we had one at my Gaia's funeral. I didn't need to see this, like I rem like that's what it was. Yeah, that's what it was, and we played like Disney music over hers. It was like the same thing, like I cannot, but she actually died. Sable just went, she's at home.
SPEAKER_00She's at home, she's at home, Mark Miro's house, probably period.
SPEAKER_02And I it just like the Sean, it reminded me so much of that Shawn Michaels one, and when we were laughing so hard, and we were like, Shawn Michaels probably walked out of his house and was like, Do you see me? Am I real?
SPEAKER_00Like, am I it's like that episode of Shits Creek um when she when the internet thinks that Moira died, died, and she goes and she just goes, like, what picture are they using? Like, God, a queen. Ugh, rip O'Hara Rip. Um, God, ugh, don't get me started. Um, uh, but that's going to take us into our next match, which is Dustin Reynolds, aka Goldust, um, taking on Val Venus. Um, Jerry is all over Val, of course. Oh, this this is like the second hour, so you know, Jerry's Jerry's here. Um, we know Michael Cole is the hyper boy. Um, yeah, speaking of, um, he goes, um, he's describing Val Venus, and he's like, he's witty, he's charming, he's above average in length.
SPEAKER_02And we're like, well, so we know how you know that, and I love to support the porn industry. That's fine. The ethical consumption of porn is is important.
SPEAKER_00Sure, sure, sure. Again, but you're out.
SPEAKER_02I don't know. And also, like I don't know, above ever like, I don't know, just the way he said it, and I'm like, actually, did you watch it or you you were peeping? Like, did you peep in the locker room? Like, I don't know.
SPEAKER_00He's such a perfect very weird. Um, but then um we are reminded that Dustin is working without pay. Could it be me, Dove? Fun fact for us. I forgot about that that stipulation, and I know it's like was just like a stipulation for like a match, but now like we're like I don't know. I I just like it's if you're not watching the television show, like if you just bought a ticket, you wouldn't know that.
SPEAKER_02No, oh my god, that is such a good point. You would have no idea. It's point it's not a pointless storytelling, but it's like I don't know, like, okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't know. My thing is also I like I I know must have been like fun, like the the shows like were probably fun, but like I'm just thinking about like the the quality of matches that we get now versus like girl. First of all, if you go to an AEW uh pay-per-view, you're seated for six hours of wrestling.
SPEAKER_02I'm not kidding. Like was that the first pay-per-view you took me to, and you were like, We are going to be here a long time.
SPEAKER_03And I was like, Okay.
SPEAKER_02Like, I was like, all right, like we're here a long time. And they filmed like two things or something. Fine by me. But yeah, that's yeah. Sorry, I don't know where you're going with that. I totally deviated.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, no, you're totally fine. Um, no, but I was just saying, like, I I imagine like like it must be weird in the crowd, just like I don't know how I would feel, like, because the the not wrestling moments are so but the wrestling is not very wrestling.
SPEAKER_02Amen. I feel like they I feel like they've really um encapsulated both in this era, like the future era, like the era we're actually living in, where it's like there's the per there's a good balance between storytelling and like just incredible matches. But yeah, there is a there is a little bit of a a lag dead zone a little bit when you watch some of the matches and you don't know what's going on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um this one was fun. This one again, we're still in the the building up Val Venus phase of it all. Um, so uh Val puts uh sorry, Val puts Dustin in a camel clutch and then uh bumps and grinds all over his back as he's one to do. Um uh yeah, what am I saying? Oh, bump and grind. Dustin um comes back and forth again. This match doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, Taker comes down, choke slams everybody. It's it's just kind of where we're at.
SPEAKER_02Um I will say it would have been very fierce to see, and I love uh Dustin. I love the I love the way he looks in this outfit. I don't know why suddenly I was like, oh, hello. Um but my god, like are who are you? But I would have loved Gold Dust and Val Venus because they're both so sexual. So like to to it would like Gold Dust, it would have been so cam. It would have been so fun. Like Gold Dust would have been like like doing the move, like a freak off. Yeah, a freak girl, bring the f I need a freak off between Val Venus and Gold Dust.
SPEAKER_00Wait, wait, wait. Actually, uh I would uh listen, I would love to see a um a lip sync for your life um between the two. I think that would be fine. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's something we need. Lip sync for your life. Is that still the show? Or the lip sync battle show?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I was thinking of drag race.
SPEAKER_02Like drag race, yes. Um, absolutely that. Also, because the reveals, Valbianus would just hit whip his dick out at the end. But um I'm not kidding. That was instinctual, that left your body. You didn't do it. Like, you were literally like it's so funny. I think of this all the time. Like, sometimes like I'll be like, Jerry's such a pervert, and then I'm like, I love when women take their tits out. Yeah, and I do just so you all know, I understand the hypocrisy that takes place here. I know about it, I'm aware, I have a therapist, it's okay. That's nice.
SPEAKER_00I have no intentions of changing.
SPEAKER_02No, Xavier's not gonna change, and somehow he is steering the ship, and I think I'm just that maybe that bitch on the front.
SPEAKER_00Like no, I think I'm steering the ship.
SPEAKER_02And the two of us are actually both just like playing like D D D in the room with the hammocks.
SPEAKER_00We're just just in a circle, just rowing in a circle. Um, fine.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, though, Balbenus. Um yeah, oh amen.
SPEAKER_00Um, yeah, but Taker takes down everybody, and that's like that's where we're on. We're on theme, we're three for three. Um next is the disciples of the apocalypse taking on LOD 2000, taking on the new age outlaws for the tag team championships. Um, Taker assaults Sergeant Slaughter in the locker room beforehand, and absolutely just yeah, just kicks his ass, um, strips him, and leaves him for dead.
SPEAKER_02Like then you're like, okay. Yeah, literally, he like rips his shirt off and leaves. Like, sure. Sure.
SPEAKER_00Um, this match is fun. Uh, it's chaotic, it's it's a triple threat match. There's six, there's six participants. It's gonna be um X Pac and Triple H are having a grand old time on the rampway with the crowd signs. They must have like collected some prior because they were having just a doozy.
SPEAKER_02They were honestly like so great. I I actually love this little director's chair moment.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02Thank you. They should have had opera glasses.
SPEAKER_00Ooh, I would have ate that up.
SPEAKER_02I'm planning on getting us opera glasses for our next um like big wrestling match we go to, like a WWE or AEV AEW pay-per-view. Like, I wanted to do that when we went with Kevin and Evan. Hi.
SPEAKER_00Listen, I'm these days, I'm more of an AEW pay-per-view person. More bang for your buttons. Me too. Um, first of all, a per WWE pay-per-views, like the price has been absolutely insane. And also they're they've gone down to like four matches per pay-per-view.
SPEAKER_01Maybe.
SPEAKER_00Not me. No, um, I know AEW the gripe is exactly is like that. They're too long, but I'd rather it be too long than not long enough. Like, I would I would rather be like, I got too much wrestling than I leave an event feeling like I didn't get enough wrestling.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I'm overwhelmed by the amount of wrestling I was again, bang for your buck. Right.
SPEAKER_00I would rather like, yeah, I would I don't know. I'd rather like take a little, like, take a little home to savor than I don't want I don't want to leave an event because then then it's like it's not just like the it's the e it's like the whole like when you buy a ticket for a show, like that's your thing that evening. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's your it's your night, of course.
SPEAKER_02So now and I was gonna say too, like the stuff they're doing over there at AEW.
SPEAKER_00It's they've really been getting their shit together recently. The last like year.
SPEAKER_02Oh my god, I love this beef between Tony and Miss Shaffir because Tony's gonna be out for a little bit. You're kidding.
SPEAKER_00She hurt girl.
SPEAKER_02I mean, she's been busting her fucking ass.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, dude.
SPEAKER_02She really has beat. I love her though. That's my girl. But Marina, it's Marina. She I'm in love with her.
SPEAKER_03She's crazy.
SPEAKER_02Badass. Do we have thoughts about Rhonda Rousey? She kind of annoys me. Oh, thank you. I was like, am I crazy? She kind of she always has, and I feel terrible, but I'm like, there's something about her that just rubs me the wrong way. And when she came at the end of that match, I was like, this link up makes sense. Obviously, it's kind of like giving Severin Ken Shamrock. But I was like, there's something about her that irritates me.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Um, yeah, she also like after she left the WWE, and I I get it, she was also like in the the the Vince Heinous era. So like I I'm I do not doubt that she has very legitimate gripes about WWE. Of course. Um I think she's a little I don't know. I think she has some whack opinions about wrestling in general. Um that she's expressed, and it's just like okay, but like one, you did it, and two you didn't do it at the same capacity that other wrestlers do it. It's like, yes, you like were in high profile things because of who you are, and that's that's great. That's that's why we want you to do that, but it's like you weren't like I as much as the in-ringness of like wrestling is grueling and difficult, I imagine the lifestyle of being a wrestler is the actual difficult part. Yeah, um the like the constant travel, the con you know what I mean? It's just it's different when you fight in MMA versus when you are fight when you're wrestling as a wrestler in WWE.
SPEAKER_02Like, yes, like it is not a real quote unquote fight, but it's like you're you're you're but you're writing a story, like you're storytelling, and like MMA is a very important thing.
SPEAKER_00And it's still very physical, and it's also but it's also like hi, take your like uh Steve Austin like said it best where he was like talking about like boxers or other kinds of fighters who he's like take it. He's like, I there is no team, there is no like I don't have like a team of people who one who sorts out my nutrition, one that sorts out my like gym routine. It's like, no, you are your nutritionist, you are your travel agent, you like that's the part that gets. Grueling. You know what I mean? Um, so I think she kind of like has a lot of opinions about it that are kind of frustrating and that like you came into it in an elevated position.
SPEAKER_02Like you didn't I was gonna say that.
SPEAKER_00It's like, and I'm maybe I'm just like a purist or whatever, and maybe just because like you know, we love independent wrestling, but it's like I would rather have somebody like I would rather I'm more excited to see somebody who came up through the independence make it than I am just uh then a transfer, which is overall, like every now and again, like I love a transfer, like of course, it's Don Ryan telling you and when Ronda Rhonda Rousey like first came, like it was fun, but it's like you just I don't know, it's just like one of those things it was it's kind of like JK Rowling, where it's just like hey, you did the the good thing now, just right. Shut up, right? Yeah, you know what I mean? Live long enough to see yourself become the villain, and they were like it just feels like that.
SPEAKER_02You know what I mean? Amen. So true. Okay, it's so funny because I was like, I feel like Xavier feels the same way about her.
SPEAKER_00I do, yeah, I do. Pinky. Um thanks. I feel validated. So good, so good. Um, so this match is chaotic as fuck. Um, lots of you know, tagging your teammates, your other your opponents, um chaos generally. Um, so much so that we get to one point in the match when both Road Dog and Billy Gunn get tagged into the match at the same time. They like do that thing like in TV shows where they're like back to back, they bump into each other, they're like scared. Um then they're like, Oh, it's you. Um the ref is like they one of them tries to leave, and the ref is like, no, you guys have to fight. Um, and they're like, um, confused, we're all confused, and then and then road dog just lays on his back, Billy Gun pins him, and they retain girl, they simultaneously won and lost the match and retain the titles. The ending absolutely incredible, that was phenomenal. I beautiful 10 out of 10, beautiful, fly, hot, and sexy.
SPEAKER_02Have you have I sent you that song? You know this?
SPEAKER_00Uh, I don't know, but that's how that intro sounds familiar. So it's Sarah Larson.
SPEAKER_02I'm saying it's you, but um okay, so the first time we saw one of these matches, I was like, I love this concept. I think that's so funny. Like you can tag in your teammates, you can like what tag in random people. I was like, I love the concept of this, I think it's funny. But then I was like, and I'm like, why don't they do it more? Like, why don't they do it more? And then when this happened, I was like, that's why. Because like it's actually that is so funny and so incredible. Like you just can't do it that many times. Like, you know what I mean? Because then it like loses the the allure of it. But I like the the of this where you can just like choose whoever to tag in. I think that's funny. I don't know, but I get it now. I was like, but that's genius, beautiful, brilliant, and perfect for DX. Like, of course, that's how they retain. That's coherents, coherents.
SPEAKER_00Um, so then they cuts to a backstage segment, and it's just a squadron of cops um pulling up. None of them in none of the uniforms match, none of them like only like only four of them roll up in an actual cop car.
SPEAKER_02I was gonna say only maybe I would say between two to four of them were real cops, right?
SPEAKER_00Maybe, maybe, um, so which is it's fine. Sure. Um, so we're like, okay, what's this about? And then they cut back to the arena, and it's Al Snow dressed in his tuxedo shirt, um, still waiting for his meeting with Vince McMahon that Jerry promised him. I love that he came dressed for the occasion. I think that's adorable.
SPEAKER_02So sweet, he's so considerate.
SPEAKER_00Um, he's looking for his meeting, he's talking to Jerry. Jerry's like, well, I mean, Vince is gonna be out here like shortly, like, you can you can have your meeting then. He's like, Good, I always trusted you, unlike some people, and he's like talking to the head. Um so I love it. He um, of course, gets carried out by security. I love how over he is, and he hasn't touched the ring, like he hasn't he hasn't done anything in the ring in a very long time.
SPEAKER_02I just love him so deeply, and the fact that he made it with just the the it's a head, it's a styrofoam head, and we all just went, yep, yep, and that makes complete sense. I love it. Here's my money. Absolutely, and I can stand on that.
SPEAKER_00Uh beautiful. Um, and then that takes us into uh the beginning of our black tie affair. Um, turns out the squadron was for The Undertaker, they got him cornered like an animal, um, just in the back, just surrounding him, so that he doesn't come out and ruin the festivities for for Vince. He um, hey, he he really came prepared this evening. Sure. Um, a song called Steve Austin comes out in nothing but a uh not nothing but a he comes out in like jean shorts and his black vest and a black tie. Uh fantastic. Um in his defense, this was a black tie affair. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02It is they put black tinsel on the ring ropes, and three people were dressed in black tie. Period. Girl, I thought they when they said black tie event, I thought they were legit gonna like go to a gala hall like nearby and fit.
SPEAKER_00I thought they would at least like red carpet the ring.
SPEAKER_02Something, something, some I get a podium. Y'all are just standing there like in a circle. Black tie event for whom?
SPEAKER_00Horrible, horrible. And anyway, um, so what's fantastic is so the they're presenting the awards. They the first one goes up to present, and he's like, Um, even though you gave less than you promised, even though it took two attempts to cash the check, um, I guess you're our humanitarian of the year. Oh, and just by the by, um, favorite wrestler happens to be Stone Colt. And everyone's like, like, and we're just like, oh, oh, and I love that they were just like, you cheap.
SPEAKER_02So even though you're a broke little bitch, not a man of your word, and the kids you claim to be in cahoots with don't know you because you've never come to the center because of your quote unquote busy schedule.
SPEAKER_00Period.
SPEAKER_02Here's this award. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_00Thing you um, and then we have Darnell Autry to present the other award. Essentially, it's the same thing. He's like, I don't remember this check, to be honest.
SPEAKER_02He goes, I don't think I even got any money. I'm not sure why I'm here here.
SPEAKER_00Uh yeah, and then he's like, also, by the way, fave wrestler so cold, love to see it. Um Vince starts uh his speech, um, you know, goes on to talk about he takes like a shot at the two presenters talking about the only thing uh greater than their uh like attempt at comedy was like his generosity, and you're like, okay. Um right, and he's talking about like what a great man he is for extending um extending a hand of friendship to uh Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh my god, I love it. And then it's at this point when Stone Cold Steve Austin pickpockets uh Vince McMahon grabs$1,200.
SPEAKER_02Why do you have 12 I don't know who why you're walking around with$1,200 cash in your in your back pocket in the suit? At least put it in the inside pocket. You're weird, you're trash, you're trash, and that's weird. It's not even in a clip, it's just straight, not even in a wallet. You just have a lot of cash.
SPEAKER_00No, tapping how about no? Um, so he pickpockets, Vince grabs money from his wallet, pocket, gives it to the charity just to up the donation in Vince McMahon's name. Um, and he goes and asks the crowd. He's like, so I know it's like humanitarian of the year, but who thinks it should be jackass of the year? Everybody loses their mind. We get a taker gong, we get the taker druids. Hi, welcome back. It's been a minute. I'd love to see them. They're carrying a casket down, they bring it down to ringside. Um, Stone Cold and Vince McMahon and the Stooges are all looking at the casket, like, hey, like, what's going on here? Um, only for mankind to crawl up from under the ring, attack Stone Cold from behind. Kane then bursts out of the coffin, attacks Stone Cold from the front. Vince McMahon starts maniacally laughing because turns out the reason why Stone Cold was invited was for all of this to happen. If we recall last week, there were shady deal business dealings going on in the locker room between Paul Bear and Vince McMahon. Now, hey, I guess here we go. Now we know what it all was. Um, and that's that's where they leave us. Um, so Uncle Steve Austin gets stuffed into the casket. Um, but yeah, uh Vince McMahon wins the day on this one.
SPEAKER_02To use his music, to use his music to tr for the trickery. I don't like that. I don't like a lot of things. I do want to say though, and this this I will say I didn't see this coming. I didn't, I didn't think, I didn't know. I didn't know who was gonna pop out of the casket. I wasn't sure, whatever. And whatever. I just never I try never to think about Paul Bear if I don't have to, so I kinda like black that out from my mind. But hot take and and you will you might disagree with this, but I will say like I didn't la I don't love this version of The Undertaker, like in this episode, where it's like I understand why he's mad at the civilian clothes or whatever, but it's like I kind of like how do I explain this? Like, I feel like they hyped up, they like up the ante so much in terms of like like the Undertaker and Kane as like almost having like powers and like they're this inferno match and there's like a spectacle and like whatever. And then like when Undertaker is mad, he's just gonna like show up in his sweats and like throw a chair. Like, I kind of want more like more like the lights are going, like again, like the chairs are shaking. Like, I kind of want more like supernatural esque. Yes, yes, because when he was mad before, like you didn't know if he if a smok a fog of smoke was gonna come out of the rafters and materialize into him, or like if lightning was gonna strike, or like I just feel like if he's that mad, but is it like he's so mad, like all the pretenses dropped? Like, I don't know. Like to me, he's just such a a figure that I was like, I don't know if I like this freak out. Like, I would rather him freak out legit, like as Undertaker, like every match, like the lights go out, it comes on, he's in the ring, he choke slams, lights go out, he dips, and he's just like looking for Vince McMahon. I think I I think I would have liked that better. The one time he came down the ramp in his his civvies and he looked like the Terminator, yes, love. But now I'm kind of like the braided man. Is this are we transitioning to like the motorcycle version of him?
SPEAKER_00Not yet.
SPEAKER_02Not yet. It's a glimmer though.
SPEAKER_00It is a glimmer, it's a glimmer.
SPEAKER_02But yeah, I think I would have liked more, I would have liked more like that actual, like, I am a creature of the night, and you have upset me. And so now I'm really I'm unleashing my wrath on you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I also think it would have played into the druid thing better.
SPEAKER_02Yes, agree. You're like, I'm summoning my friends from the dark side. That's like legit what I thought was happening. I was like, he's calling in the homies, and he's gonna box, and the cops are scrambling because they're like he literally vanished.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I needed a little more that would have been good sprinkle or something.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that would have been good if the lights went out, like in the back.
SPEAKER_02That's what I'm saying, and he pops out of the period. I just feel like that it would have served in every way the plot, it would have just served in general, like you know, and I hate to see, and I think the druids are innocent bystanders, they just serve the magic of the moment. So I'm not necessarily mad that they linked up with Kane. I think they're just stewards of the darkness, but I just feel like it would have made more sense. I don't know. For me, and that's that's my opinion.
SPEAKER_00Amen. So that's where they that's where they that's where they leave us. Um, we are on the road to the King of the Ring tournament, finals, pay-per-view, whatever you want to call it. Um, but yeah, that is it. We I don't think we have any housekeeping notes that I can think of.
SPEAKER_02I do.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yes, please.
SPEAKER_02Um, so we announced we're going to be doing restorative for wrestlers. Ew. And right now it's looking like a few people.
SPEAKER_00For those of you who don't follow our Instagram, can you go back and just kind of explain a little bit what that is?
SPEAKER_02Oh, sure. Um, but also, why aren't you following on us on Instagram?
SPEAKER_00Uh hey. Hey, Queen.
SPEAKER_02Hey.
SPEAKER_00I'm talking to you.
SPEAKER_02Hi. Um, anyway, so Restorder for Wrestlers, I have the absolute privilege of living with my best friend Crystal, who is also an incredible yoga teacher. And um, she's incredible at all mediums of yoga, but one of her absolute specialties is restorative. She teaches a class every Wednesday at our local yoga studio. Um, and she's just so gifted. And we were hobnobbing, chatting one night after Xavier and I had recorded, and I don't remember who said it, but either way, we were talking about doing a restorative class for wrestlers. So if you are a wrestler and you are interested, we are going to be offering a free restorative yoga class just for you. Um, and we were putting out like a pulse check on like for wrestlers, like what days kind of work best. Um, like I had said like Mondays or like weekends in the morning before shows. And actually, a few people said Fridays. Like, yes, Fridays actually would be best. So I'm gonna email the studio where we're gonna be hosting the class and see about Fridays. Um, but yeah, so if you are a wrestler and you've made it this far in the episode, hello, hi. Um, also, like if you want to drop your thoughts on like a day that would work best, please let us know. But right now, I'm thinking it's looking like maybe Fridays. That was like the most responses that I saw. Um, but yeah, so let us know. Um, again, the class will be free. It's just like a give back. We we love you, we're grateful to you, we want you to take care of your bodies. So that's that's that. And we're gonna be announcing our next drive in like maybe two weeks. So look out for that as well.
SPEAKER_00Period. Hooray! All right, guys. This has been another edition of the New to Wrestling Podcast. Thank you for watching, listening, subscribing, all that fun stuff wherever you find us. For Kelsey, I am Xavier, and we will catch you on the next one.
SPEAKER_02We will see you there.
SPEAKER_00Bye.
SPEAKER_02Bye.