New to Wrestling Podcast

Raw Is War June 15, 1998 Review | Undertaker Destroys Paul Bearer & Hell in a Cell Chaos

• New to Wrestling Podcast • Season 3 • Episode 51

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Viewer discretion is advised — because this Raw is WAR.

This week, we’re breaking down the June 15, 1998 episode of Raw Is War, and things officially spiral as we barrel toward King of the Ring. 

From the jump, the chaos is undeniable:

  • Vince McMahon continues his all-time gaslighting run
  • Undertaker refuses to be manipulated… and makes someone pay for it
  • Kane and Mankind stack chaos on top of chaos (and somehow become #1 contenders again)
  • DX and The Nation push their rivalry deeper into full-blown gang warfare
  • And the night ends with Stone Cold and Kane fighting on top of the Hell in a Cell

But the real moment?

Undertaker locking himself inside the cell… with Paul Bearer.

And absolutely unleashing.

This episode is peak Attitude Era energy — messy, violent, hilarious, and somehow still moving every storyline forward at full speed. The road to King of the Ring isn’t just heating up…

It’s boiling over.

🍼 Diaper Drive Announcement:

We’re also proud to announce our next community initiative:

We’re hosting a diaper, formula, and gently used baby clothes drive now through Mother’s Day to support families in need.

All donations will go to Oasis - A Haven for Women and Children, an incredible organization providing essential resources and support for women and children in Paterson, NJ.

Drop-off location:
 📍 Dolly Moo – 217 Glenridge Ave, Montclair, NJ

We’ll also be sharing additional drop-off locations soon.

The wrestling community showed up BIG for our last drive — let’s do it again.

🌐 More from New to Wrestling - For full episodes, clips, and everything we’re building: 👉 newtowrestling.com

🧘 Restorative for Wrestlers:

We’re also continuing to build out something special:

Restorative for Wrestlers — a free restorative yoga program designed specifically for wrestlers to recover, reset, and take care of their bodies.

We’re currently finalizing details (looking like Fridays 👀), and it will be completely free for wrestlers.

Because what you put your body through deserves real recovery.

The New To Wrestling Podcast follows two friends who enjoy wrestling but are in different stages of their fandom. Xavier Cruz serves as your guide through generations of professional wrestling while Kelsey Silva experiences these matches for the first time. Climb into the ring weekly to relive the famous matches beginning with the Attitude Era!

Speaker 1

Viewer discretion is advised.

Xavier

Hello, everyone, and welcome to another edition of the New to Wrestling Podcast. This week we watched the June 15th, 1998 edition of Raw Is War. We are firmly on the road to the King of the Ring pay-per-view tournament, all of that good jazz. But before we get into the nitty-gritty of all of that, we love to tell you when we reunite in the real world, and we most certainly did um this weekend. Um, for those of you who don't know, um, I had a birthday very recently. So I'm birthday.

Kelsey

Please wish him a happy birthday. Please, sweet, sweet, sweetie.

Speaker 2

So yeah, the the big uh, you know, 32, obviously. Um, yeah, and we had ourselves a grand time. Kelsey came over and I basically just subjected her to all kinds of wrestling. Um, it was so great. Uh yeah, it was it was a good time. There were, there was ice cream had, there was dinner made, it was charmed watched. Charmed watch. Yeah, me and my roommates have recently um uh gotten it gotten into um a charmed rewatch, so we've really been fiending on that one.

Speaker

Um Kelsey really watched charmed on DVD on like a DVD TV, and let me tell you, is the it is the format by which it was meant to be seen. Oh, like we certainly so glorious.

Speaker 2

Um, because it's just like I don't want it to be any better quality than what it was originally presented to be. Um I don't think I don't think um a higher quality like a higher death uh TV is going to uh change my experience of charmed. Um I'm okay with it being in two 1990, whatever, into like in that early 2000s.

Speaker

Filter, like it's that's the way it was meant to be seen.

Speaker 2

It's like before they changed um like we went over to in like 2009. Didn't we like switch over from like um regular like TV or what TV had always been into like something else? Does ever anybody remember that? Like the TVs went blank for like a second, and then we were like all of us called.

Speaker

I don't remember.

Speaker 2

I don't know, but I I've I've recently seen like a few videos of people like recording themselves like during the great blip of whatever 2009. Um but anyway, I am really getting off on another on another topic, but we reunited. Um, we watched a uh uh Sting DVD, which was fantastic. Um, because I have a couple, um, but sting I and it really was like Sting, like it was a good um like collection of his like career. You really got like a snapshot in like six matches, so nice it was a great um we love to see Sting in all of his many forms. Um, but you haven't been super exposed to like surfer sting, so that's always fun to see. Um, and then we also watched uh Evolution, the all women's pay-per-view. Um, I it was so amazing. I have been meaning to show Cal Z this one since it happened um late last year. Um and I needed just a break from the 90s uh viewpoint of women in wrestling. Oh my god, thank god. Um but hold on, switching notebooks because uh what wait, are you what notebook? Which notebook? Oh, so I took notes in this notebook because the notebook I normally take notes in, I gave to Kelsey, and um yeah, so I don't have my notes in that one that I normally take today.

Speaker

So I switched over to I thought you were gonna air me out because originally we were we were gonna record an episode on evolution. We were like, so I was there, we watched it, but Xavier and I, when we get together, and because we work a lot and don't get to really relax, we just sat and engaged in a lot of recreational activities that are legal in some places and not in the others. Right. And I got so in, we were like, let's take notes, we're gonna do a whole episode, you know, like women. And I was so enraptured by what we were watching, I only took two notes and they were nothing. They were not. It was like, it was like, I hate Stephanie McMahon's dress, and like women, like I don't even what like whatever. But I thought you were gonna be like, these are Kelsey's brilliant notes that she takes when she watches wrestling.

Speaker 2

Oh no, I would I no, but I mean, if thank you for being honest with us all.

Speaker

I'm sorry. So, like, I'm sorry to women for being, but okay, here. Women wrestlers, if you're watching this, come put your cheek up to the camera. Come here.

Speaker 2

Um, if you're just listening, Kelsey's um kissing your cheeks.

Speaker

I'm so grateful for you and everything that you do. I'm not I'm not trying to blow smoke. I literally was so enraptured by this paper, but this thing, I didn't take a single note other than the two I took and whatever. I just I love to watch women be incredible. So thank you to all the the female wrestlers out there. Uh I I cherish you, I really do. One more chance, I love you. Okay, thank you.

Speaker 2

Um, I'm not sure if any of the matches like stood out for you, but some some highlights from that. Um, we have the Intercontinental Championship triple threat, which opens it um with Bailey, Becky Lynch, and Lyra Valkyria. Becky Lynch pulls off like one of the best, like oh my gods um, like into a finish pretty much ever. It's oh my it was so beautiful.

Speaker

I don't think they freaked out enough.

Speaker 2

They were like, pull pin, and I was like, no, absolutely and then cut to um her in Unreal uh after that, and she's like, I'm an athlete, and then she's like, she's like she's like, I'm a freaking athlete, and I was like, Yeah, you are.

Speaker

I love her so I had seen Unreal before I saw this, which a lot of Unreal was about this, or like parts of it were about this, and I was like, Oh my god, because obviously I didn't I saw the Rhea Ripley uh EO Sky match behind the scenes before I even saw the real thing, it was so gaggy, I loved it, but yeah, that I mean Becky Lynch is that girl.

Speaker 2

Um, absolutely. Um, we got to see uh the return of Trish Stratus to take on Tiffany Stratton. Um, you haven't seen the debut of Trish Stratus yet, but um just to just remember this match um and in terms of the evolution of this woman that you are going to like behold shortly. She's so gorgeous, so gorgeous. Um, but the match was a lot of fun. Um, I think it was a good like defense for Tiffany. I thought Trish also came out looking great. Um, I think a lot of the Attitude Era divas get some like flack um for not being able to like hang, as far as like uh like an in-ring perspective uh against like the women of today, and this was a good kind of just like um think of it. No, I just you know, they weren't given the same we got literally like three minutes, right? So like make it happen. So it's like um uh while would we have loved to see you know prime Tristratus, but it's also like Tristratus like retired like dumb early. Um people like aren't retiring at the same ages that they were like back then. Um her, I mean she had like a like a familial reason behind all that, but um she retired very young, so she's very much so like athletically like in her prime, um which is fun to see. Um agree.

Speaker

I didn't even think of that because a lot of people there are a lot of people who slander the divas in a lot of ways work.

Speaker 2

Still do, still do, which is fine. I mean, like not like it's fine, but it's like it's it it's what happens. Like time moves on, you know, the new generation always kind of like takes stabs at the older one, you know. Um but and it leads to some pretty and has led to some pretty interesting matches, um, you know, mostly with around Tristratus and Lita, but we've had uh some fun moments with the um like the attitude era divas and like royal rumbles and things like that. Um but there's always had that kind of like underlying storyline that you can kind of like play on, um, which is fun. Um another highlight of this one was the Jade Cargill Naomi um No Holds Bard match, fantastic with Bianca Belair as the special ref, right?

Speaker

God, I love them. I mean, they Naomi is so amazing. I I am I didn't know that she had walked out of like before a match, like originally when she was first with the WWE. Was there like you're treating me like shit and I'm out of here? Yeah, and then to come back, right?

Speaker 2

And to just like after all this time of being like this beloved um like wrestler, like turning here, she's like, you know what, it's time. I've been doing um, you know, some iteration of what she had been doing for a long time. Um, she left, had a whole run on the indies and TNA, um, was the TNA like knockouts champion for a while, comes back, um, flips her character like on its head. It absolutely works. It's rocks, it's great stuff. We like get a um like and what's impressive about this heel turn is one how one good it is and how it really allowed her to kind of just like come out of her shell. Um when you're the when you're the good guy, you can only you know there's only so much bluster you can uh you know puff out.

Speaker

Um there's only so much dirt you can kick up.

Speaker 2

Right. Um, so now the it is it's just like a whole new thing for her to like sink her teeth into, and at the same time, um building Jade Cargill into this like big baddie. Um at this point, like we haven't seen too much of her uh realistically. Now, I mean she's the women's championship, she's the women's champion, and we're gonna go, she's in like a very highlighted feud with Rhea Ripley and all this stuff. But it's like at this time we're building Jade up. She's come from um AEW, she kind of like disappeared for a little bit to kind of like learn the WWE way of things, and now we're building like her up. So this match um did did that very much so. Um, and it saw Naomi take the loss. Um but the match itself was fantastic. Go back and and check it out. Um, so and Naomi by the end of the night um ends up uh the biggest winner of all. Um, so so fierce, so good. Um, another call out from that pay-per-view is the battle royal, one of the best battle royals, I think I've ever seen.

Speaker

Absolutely. Um, though I do want to say, hi, Unreal. Um, hey, the Charlie XEX was for me pandering. Um hot take. I don't need to have Charlie XEX so that I can I feel like yay, girl power to watch women's wrestling. I just want to watch women's wrestling. Like, I don't know. When that Charlie XEX came on, do you first of all? I fucking love that song. It's not that I love her. That's my girl, but I was like, well, no one likes to be like infantilized, like no one wants to like it's like I we watch women's wrestling because we watch women's wrestling. I don't need Charlie XEX to turn the tide for me. Like, oh my god, they they're they're doing it for the girls. I don't know why. It just like really I was like, okay, I get it.

Speaker 2

No, absolutely. Um, and then uh yeah, fantastic. Uh, some standouts from that. Nia Jax always shows out in a battle royal Royal Rumble situation. Um literally, I think the only woman today to have wrestled in both the men's and women's. Um, last legend. Uh, we see the beginnings of her showing out. Um, and now she's tag team uh champions with Nia Jax. Um, also going into a WrestleMania match. Oh, we should do WrestleMania predictions. Well, that'll be a whole different thing. Um, I think it'll be fun to see uh what you think and where we go.

Speaker

Um, and I have no idea what's going on with anything, but no.

Speaker 2

Um, and then this match really cements um kind of it builds up Stephanie uh Vecare. She does this like beautiful little speech after. Um, it's the the wrestling is my like is my like love language, is my first language, whatever she gets into.

Speaker

She said wrestling, yeah, wrestling is like not like a universal language or something, but something like that. It was very beautifully said.

Speaker 2

Um and fantastic. And again, another one pretty much launched off of this pay-per-view into uh a big push. She's now the women's world champion going into like this blood feud with Liv Morgan. Great. Um, and then the crundola creme, the main event, um, two of the best ever. It's Rhea Ripley and EO EOS guy. Fantastic. So such a good match. If you haven't uh gone back and just want to see two stunning people just beat the absolute hell out of each other, um, this is the match for you. I love, and I've talked about this before on this show and you know, just other places, but I love that Rhea Ripley has a kryptonite, and I love that it's EO. Um, and because Eo is like this like just adorable, um, yeah, uh like just this is an adorable person, but she is like uh quietly the hardest worker out there. Um she's she's so good, she's so smooth, um, and their chemistry is just like unmatched. And I love um and I I I just love it because we still like to this day, we still don't really have like Rhea really hasn't beat EO. Still, they have since become like a team, which has been, you know, interesting, but uh don't think that that's not gonna come full circle again, and the two of them are gonna like show down.

Speaker

Um I love in wrestling when they put the beef on pause for something else, and then they cut they circle back to the beef.

Speaker 2

Yes, I love that. Um fantastic, and then this match saw a fantastic money in the bank cash in um by Naomi. She comes in after uh Rhea and Eo have just been absolutely annihilating each other for the better part of I want to say 30 minutes. Um she comes out, makes it a triple threat, um, knocks Rhea into the ring uh post, uh hits uh EO with uh her finisher, that like beautiful, split-legged movie.

Speaker

Like raw van dam kind of bouncy bouncy.

Speaker 2

So good, becomes the women's um world champion. Um fantastic.

Speaker

And she has like a broken nose. Like she's like, it's so good, and she runs out. Oh my god, it's it's chills, and like I it's that moment where like when Seth Rollins does his money in the bank, that moment when he drops the crutches and the crap, I literally like hairs on on the end. So crazy. This was just as good because you're you're watching the most incredible match between these two absolute beasts. EO's just jumped off like the sound equipment to splat rebut. Like it's so good, and like you think you can't take one more, and then Naomi's music hits and she runs out, and you're just like, Of course, but of course, like, oh my god. And I was gonna say about Naomi too, like I love this heel turn, the proceed with caution, and she's so detail oriented. What really gagged me was in Unreal when she was like, Can I decorate my money in the bank thing with caution? Like, can I am I allowed to like customize this because like I I just need it to be like legit and match like everything? And I was like, and that's why you are who you are, because and I love that she was like legitimately like using the case, yes, that's what I'm saying. Like, I think that's adorable.

Speaker 2

I ate that up.

Speaker

I you know, I love an accessory, especially one that's customized and using for evil, like that's per that's exactly what I want. Thank you. Like, it's just I love so much, I love everything they're doing so much right now. It's crazy. And I'm excited because on in Unreal, they do not like I was like, I hope that they they talk about Jade more because she's embroiled in this beef, and they just like they don't at all, right? But I'm like, I think because they're really working on her still behind the scenes and like building her in such a specific way, they like just they're like I have a feeling she will be more present in this next one. I agree. Um, and I'm so excited, and also final thoughts on Unreal before I s we switch, but like I I am unless we did talk about this already, which is possible, but like Cody Rose has me so paranoid because he's like, Well, you know, now Unreal. He like said on his podcast, like Unreal is the work within the work, right?

Speaker 2

And I I think they very are very strategic and as far as what they show.

Speaker

Yes, because the way with Chelsea Green, they like kept people are so angry, and I get it, me too, about how they were like, she can never be in the top spot because she's the one that makes the girls in the top spot, which like fine, whatever. But now people are so angry about that because she's so amazing. I'm like, now it's like it's like you've now I'm like, did you convince me now that I want her in the top spot, or did I actually want her in the top spot this whole time? Like, I'm paranoid about the mind games that they're playing with me. Bring back up, bring back the mind games pay-per-view because that's all wrestling is. Yeah, I'm I'm up at night conspiracy theorizing.

Speaker 2

Listen, that's what they want.

Speaker

That's what they want exactly, and it's working anyway. So by the way, also if you're not watching, Xavier is wearing a bandana today and it looks so freaking cute, and I just had to say it one more time. So if you're not if you're only listening, go on to the YouTube and check out how cute Xavier looks. Okay, anyway, thank you.

Speaker 2

Anyway, all right, guys. Um, so the evolution pay-per-view, worth the watch, great hangs, beautiful, and I love it. It was like also like uh at the tail end of like a super busy weekend, it was not um advertised nearly at on the same level as everything else that was going on that weekend. I think there was like a main event, a big smackdown, and uh um uh some other pay-per-view, so yeah, there was a lot going on that weekend. Uh, so to have this pay-per-view just be as excellent as it turned out was just of course, because of course it did. Um, so love to see it. Um glad to show it to you, but we're going to switch gears, um, sort of. Um, we have um an announcement as far as our next drive uh that is specifically meant to benefit um women and mothers. So uh let's go. Uh Kelsey's got the information for you.

Speaker

Yay! Okay, hi. I'm so excited. Um, we are doing a diaper formula and gently used baby clothes drive from now until Mother's Day. And we are going to be donating to Oasis, which is in Patterson, New Jersey. Um, they call themselves um a haven for women and children. And basically, um, please check out their website, please check out their Instagram. But Oasis in Patterson is an incredible organization um that offers programs for women and children, all kinds of resources, um, including uh like resources like diapers, formula, clothes, also feminine hygiene products. If you guys want to donate tampons, pads, like anything like that, that would also be great. Um, really anything to just help um single mothers, mothers in need, um, children who need uh resources, clothes, things, all kinds of stuff. They have programs, like I said, for kids like after school. Just look them up. They're so amazing. Um, they can definitely do a better job explaining themselves than I am right now. But either way, like I said, so we will be collecting formula, diapers, gently used baby clothes, feminine hygiene products from now until Mother's Day. We'll be um accepting donations at Dolly Moo in Montclair, which is my family's business, um, who's also obviously um a huge part of this process as well. Um, but so that address is 217 Glen Ridge Avenue in Montclair, New Jersey. We are hopefully gonna have other drop off points as well. I'm just waiting to hear back on a few of those people, but I will let you know. Yes, please, thank you so much. Help out the moms who need it. It's a really great cause. And I am gonna cry. So love it.

Speaker 2

Love it. Thank you guys. We um are so excited to be able to do another one of these. Our um winter uh co-drive was such a like overwhelming um success. So thank you again um for all of that. Um, but uh we figure the wrestling community really showed out, and um this is our way of kind of facilitating um some some community love. Lord knows we need it uh more now than uh ever before.

Speaker

So I was so cranky today, and like this brings me joy. Like I was so mad today about just the state of the world as we all are, but this like helping each other, help our community. It's just it is the the tiny little things that bring us joy that make us it's reason to live juice. It's just reason to live juice, and like mothers, especially single moms, like they deserve access to these things to help raise their kids without fear of not being able to feed them, of not being able to clothe them. Like it's just so important. So I love you guys all so much. Our community is so special, and like let's continue to make it as beautiful as possible by helping each other out.

Speaker 2

Please love it, love it, love it, love it. Um, on another housekeeping note before we get into this episode, I promise it's coming, guys. This is gonna be a long one, so just sit still. A lot happened. Um so uh as far as the restorative for wrestlers, um, we have not forgotten about you guys. We are working on it, uh, right?

Speaker

Yes, so yes, so restorative for wrestlers. A lot of you guys said Fridays were actually good for you. Um, so Fridays it is. I have reached out to the yoga studio that is going to be hosting us. We are just ironing out some details, but oh my god, resorted wrestlers for wrestlers is going to happen this year. I am really, really excited when hopefully within the next I am assuming two-ish months, but I will let you guys know details, obviously. And remember, it's going to be free for wrestlers. So, wrestlers only, please. But it will be a free program for you because we love you so much. You are also part of our community, you are what makes us so great. We wouldn't have the show without you. So it's just gonna be a little give back for you guys, and details are coming.

Speaker 2

Love, love, all right, guys. You guys ready to get into this episode? I believe you are, I'm sure you're frothing at the mouth. You're like, okay, shut up, just start the episode.

Speaker

Um bring us this 90s glory.

Speaker 2

No, amen. Um, like I said at the beginning of the show, we are on the road to the King of the Ring um pay-per-view tournament. Uh, the episode starts with a recap of last week. We get the Undertaker Druids, the attack by uh Kane and Mankind, seemingly orchestrated by Mr. McMahon. Um, I say seemingly just because they really are trying to kick up dirt dust on that. Um I really can't, but um, I don't know who they think it's trying to fool. Um, and we finish the little intro of this episode with a shot of the hell in a cell high above the arena tonight. Um, you know, bringing some intrigue into what the hell is going on with that. Um so then we get into the like, you know, the intro song and uh episode hard opens, sable music comes out, sable has returned to us. Maybe I know it the crowd going absolutely bonkers as we knew that they would. Um because duh listen, they said they said we need to take her away, we need to miss her a little bit. Um and and boy did did they miss her. Did they? Um so she comes in and she introduces the person responsible for her return, Mr. McMahon. Um, and check the track. We had done been talking about this Kelsey said um weeks ago. Weeks ago. She was like, Okay.

Speaker

As soon as she was let go, I was like, okay, Vince McMahon is gonna go to her door the next day and be like, Hey, you coming to work? Because Mark Miro doesn't hire and fire, ain't nobody in his bitch.

Speaker 2

Right, that's what I'm saying. Um, so Mr. McMahon's introduced, he's met with just raucous booze, um, and then asks Sable to read a prepared statement, um, which is insane. Um essentially, the statement goes, I would never use charities to attack to attack Stone Cold. Um, I am determined to remain a caring and generous owner and bring justice uh upon those who perpetrated the act of last week. Um, that obviously prompts Stone Cold Steve Austin to come out, um, flips off Mr. McMahon, and then in just an act straight out of the princess bride, escorts Sable away from danger um because he is about to bring the danger. Um, so he brings her out of the ring, like literally takes the time, like opens the the ring rope for her, holds her hand as she descends down the uh the ring steps um and sends her on her way to safety. Okay, Shovelis.

Speaker

God, I've seen what you've done for others. I'm just I'm literally blushing. I'm like, I need strong gold to help me down the stairs, and so I'm such a little angel. Help me, like making me stupid. Like, I was like, because I was like, what's he doing? And then he just delicately escorted her out and then went back to but went back to fighting.

Speaker 2

Love to see it.

Speaker

Um stop it right now.

Speaker 2

Gotten Kelsey smitten over here. Um, he grabs the microphone, basically goes, like, okay, nobody's buying this BS, certainly not I. Um, you are essentially cruising for a bruising because my foot's gonna end up in your ass. And you're like, Oh, here we go. And then this McMahon is pleading desperately, basically just being like, Um, could you possibly react um in a not physical and violent way? Um, of course, uh that opens up the floor for a crowd survey. Um, Steve Austin asks everybody um if you would like me to react in a physical and violent way. Um, give me a hail yeah, obviously. Everybody in San Antonio is on board. Um and then the Undertaker in a Hail Mary of Hail Marys um starts to blame the Undertaker um and starts spouting out, spouting off at the mouth about this like convoluted explanation as to how the Undertaker orchestrated this attack on Stone Cold Steve Austin and orchestrated his own like capture backstage um uh in order to best Stone Cold Steve Austin. Because if you remember, he said that uh he wanted your uh title, and you know he's from the dark side, he's dark sided, and you're like, okay, girl, wrestlers go for the belt because they're fucking wrestlers, right?

Speaker

What else do you do there? You wrestle to hopefully get a title, right? Like, what no, he can't he said he wants a title shot because he's he's evil and he w no, because he he and literally when Undertaker comes out, he's like okay, like but uh going back to Vince really quick, like I I don't I don't like liars, period. But I also I really hate bad liars. Girl, the way you come out here and stuff like that.

Speaker 2

Don't serve me nothing.

Speaker

Oh my god, and the and the people, the witnesses are about to come out and read you the riot acts. You are crazy, girl. I don't like when you uh like the words are coming out of your mouth and you're disproving yourself as you say them. I don't like that. At least be good at lying if you're gonna try and lie to me, girl. I don't fucking like that.

Speaker 2

Absolutely, and of course, obviously, uh, because the Undertaker is of the talk shit get hit school of learning. Um he immediately comes out, um, walks like right up to the ring. Uh um, listen, I love this. This is like this is the Kelsey's approach to confrontation. Walks right up to the ring and goes, Hey, what?

Speaker

Um so I'm not kidding. You guys are so lucky, Xavier runs the Instagram. He's so nice to you people.

Speaker 2

Um because amen. Um, so he walks right up to the ring and it was like, actually, um, I walked up to your face, challenged you like a man, um, looked you in the eyes and said what I wanted and what I was gonna do to get it. So I don't need to be doing all of this. You know, Mr. McMahon is a filthy liar, so I don't know why we're believing anything that's coming out of his doo-doo mouth. So um insane. Um, and then he uh essentially he goes, Mr. McMahon, like you make your money essentially being a master manipulator. So if you uh before I take your head clear off your body, by the way, um I will I need you to know that you will never manipulate me. And you're like, oh thank you.

Speaker

Thank you, um an angel from the Lord has spoken, like angel of darkness, whatever.

Speaker 2

So good. Um, but then that prompts the arrival of Kane and Paul Bear and Mankind. So drama. Um Paul Bear congratulates Taker for the drama that he apparently just uh drummed up the Oscar-worthy performance because you know that's what The Undertaker is known for. Um, and then he goes, Mr. McMahon has nothing to do with it. Um, and then he really tries to like lay it on thick, and he goes, Taker and I are in cahoots, and you're like, Excuse me, excuse me, what no bitch.

Speaker

We used to be, and then you betrayed me. You guys are learning right now that I never fucking forget. I never fucking forget, and neither does the Undertaker, and I know that's right.

Speaker 2

No, and I was like, You literally betrayed him with the man standing like to your left.

Speaker

Um, yeah, which apparently mankind is back in in Paul Paul Bear's little club, which what well the thing is, I feel like we haven't seen mankind in like a hot minute, so like mankind kind of like was in Paul Bear's club.

Speaker 2

I feel like dude love was not.

Speaker

But was he though? Because wasn't he like Uncle Paul? Like, wasn't he like lamenting?

Speaker 2

Yes, but now he's useful to Uncle Paul again. You know how this works.

Speaker

It doesn't mean I have to like it.

Speaker 2

No, absolutely not. Um, and basically, Paul goes on to just be like, You wanted to take uh Stone Cold's soul, um uh and trap Steve Austin in the hell in a cell like this evening. Um, he's like, There is gonna be some entrapment, I promise. Um, and then he challenges uh Stone Cold, Steve Austin, and the Undertaker in a tag team hell in a cell main event match um with Kane and Mankind. Um, and that is going to be our main event this evening.

Speaker

And do I want to see that? Yes. But if Undertaker is on your team and y'all plan this little coup against Stone Cold, why are you putting why are you doing a tag team against him? Like this the one in the one does not equal, it's literally negative seven. Like, I I don't even know how it just it make it doesn't make sense. Do I want to see this? Absolutely. But like one, we caught you on camera shaking hands with Insig Man in the locker room. I didn't forget. Two, like, why if they're whatever, you know what I mean. I just like it, it doesn't make any sense, but fine. And it just pisses me off because, like, how dare you come out here and say that the two of you are in cahoots against Stone Cold just so we could have the gold. When I could have had the gold from the jump without you, like you had to be a little traitorous, little whatever. I'm getting worked up again. I get I get my justice hearts later.

Speaker 2

Listen, yes, you do. Kelsey eats this evening.

Speaker

It was so funny, Xavier. At the end of this, was like, when you watch, it was like, you needed this today. I was like, I really did.

Speaker 2

Absolutely. Um, but we're gonna we're gonna put a pin in that one um before before we get too far ahead of ourselves. Um, the first contest is going to be Vader taking on the rock. This is a King of the Ring qualifier match, the final two taking place this evening. Um, Sergeant Slaughter apparently came to work this evening, um, sends the nation away so that it can be a one-on-one contest. Um, uh I like to see it. Um, the beginning of this match is Vader bodying the rock. Vader hits a Vader splash, um, the rock kicks out. Um he hits a smooth ass DDT. Um being him being the rock. Uh we get a big slam on Vader into the people's elbow, only for Mark Henry to uh come down, attack Vader, and then dips. I love it's just so funny. Um because he's just such a big man. He comes in, um, big splashes Vader on the outside and then like hustles out of the uh out of the uh ring area. The rock follows that up with the rock bottom, the rock advances um in the King of the Ring tournament. Um Vader has not been not been seeing them W's recently, poor guy.

Speaker

He I I hate to say it, but it's it he's getting so many L's, like I'm afraid he's gonna crawl back to Paul, and I don't want to see that.

Speaker 2

Amen.

Speaker

Because they're all crawling back to Paul, and I don't fucking like it.

Speaker 2

No, but you know, Paul's got the Paul's got the hot hand right now. Um he does.

Speaker

It's god, he is a formidable villain in my life. I mean he's really he's really acquiring his minions and and making moves.

Speaker 2

No, one thousand percent. And as ridiculous as his little like promo was earlier, it was good.

Speaker

God damn it. I know it's so we hate it. I think when you're when your enemy is so cunky.

Speaker 2

No, exactly. It makes you hate him like that much more, but it's also like respect.

Speaker

Respect.

Speaker 2

And I hate to get it.

Speaker

And you'll never hear me say that again.

Speaker 2

Um, but next we get a backstage segment that's gonna be a recurring one this evening. I'm loving these DX um kind of like little like backstage moments. It's uh DX drop in knowledge, um, and it's essentially like a little strategy meeting, it's road dog leading, uh, essentially uh just making dick jokes about the match between Triple H and Xbox because they are set to uh be the other King of the Ring qualifier uh this evening. Um they follow that one up with an edge promo, emo as ever, bugging a guy and stealing his car. Um, lots of uh kind of, I don't know. It doesn't feel poetry would be generous.

Speaker

It feels um kind of like it feels like they're in a writer's room and like the crow just came out, and so they're like, we gotta do something like that, and they're just like throwing shit at the walls. It feels like that, right?

Speaker 2

Very um, like I wrote this with a like a thesaurus open, like it just feels like that. You know what I mean?

Speaker

When you gotta pad the word count, yes, and there's like big words, but they're not like quite used correctly or competently.

Speaker 2

Second um Princess Bride uh reference. Um he's like where he's like you keep using that word, and I do not think you know what that means. It's so good.

Speaker

I loved it, Princess Bride.

Speaker 2

I do not think it means what you think it means. Um, but hey, they're they're still gonna just tease us with that one. I'm ready for the debut. I think it is time. Um, you know, they're giving us the Valvinus treatment, but I'm getting zero porn stars out of the deal.

Speaker

Jenna Jameson, thank you. I was like, but Jenna Jameson is not here, right? So like I need something, right?

Speaker 2

100%. Listen, if I wanted to just like have myself like an emo like vignette, I'd look through my middle school like Facebook photo.

Speaker

I was gonna say you could look in the mirror right now.

Speaker 2

No, one thousand percent. Like, we don't need to do this, um, but it's fine. Um, our second contest is draws, aka puke taking on double J with Tennessee Lee for some reason. Um, they brought out the red carpet for double J. Um, hey, Kelsey did point out though he wasn't on horseback. So if that's the exchange, I'll take it. Take your little carpet.

Speaker

I was like, at least they they finally hunk like let that horse live its life.

Speaker 2

No, 100%. JR with the no, literally. Um Jr with the uh just stray shots for Tennessee Lee basically goes if Tennessee Lee was in the Alamo, he would essentially just desert everybody um and steal a horse.

Speaker

Yeah, he would steal a horse, he would desert, steal a horse, and run away as far as possible. I go, man, he's down for desertion and theft. Right, no, one thousand percently book him, right?

Speaker 2

Uh no, one thousand percent. That man needs to be in a cell. Um Miro and uh Jacqueline come down because they are double J's opponents in the King of the Ring tournament upcoming. Miro joins commentary, big pissed about Sable asking all these questions of JR. Uh JR is like, I have exactly zero answers for you, so I don't know why you're down here. I'm not the one.

Speaker

Um JR was literally like, I don't know why you're asking me because I don't know. And then like Mark Merrill was like, Who does Vince McMahon think he is hiring somebody back that I fired? And I was like, the owner of the boss. Oh, and he goes, Are you free?

Speaker 2

He goes, so he can just do whatever he wants in the WWF. And we were like, Yes, girl.

Speaker

Especially these last few weeks, yeah. Especially the last few weeks, we've seen him flex that power more audaciously than ever before. I don't know what you were expecting.

Speaker 2

No, absolutely not.

Speaker

He is so silly. Jacqueline was the only person I was happy to see in this little scenario.

Speaker 2

Amen. Hey girl constantly. Um, Jaclyn gets into it with Tennessee Lee. They have an exchanging of words before she slaps the taste out of his mouth. Love to see it. Um, that allows a big enough distraction for Miro to run over, hit that low blow on double J. I also love to see it. Allowing the rookie draws to pick up a victory. Um, a hey, uh, a W for the rookie makes him look good and gives me give me a little heat for that King of the Ring qualifier. Sure.

Speaker 1

Absolutely, yes.

Speaker 2

Why, why not? Um, we get a hard cut from that segment into um just a backstage shot of Alvinus's dressing room door. Apparently, his other job um needed uh needed a new set.

Speaker

When you have your yeah, when you have your day job until uh 8, but you go on at 8 15.

Speaker 2

Absolutely. Um, absolutely. Um so yeah, sure. Um we segue from that into another DX drop in knowledge um segment, and it's essentially the question of the day is what's China gonna do? Like, is she gonna be the uh X Factor um in all of this?

Speaker

Um, and then that takes what I ask myself every day. Amen.

Speaker 2

Um, and then that takes us into Valvinus and Chains of the DOA. Hey, um uh I Val Venus uh hits us with his like his grand entrance. Uh I have a quote from Kelsey. Um, and that oh the backswing on Valvinus was crazy. Um, because Val Venus makes his entrance and he's just absolutely swinging them hips for the gods.

Speaker

I can't deny that it there is a mesmer mesmerizing quality about it, and I was like, but listen, for for a big white man, he he's a big white man. The back soon was crazy. I don't know. Like, I just was I'm just a little flabbergasted, floor cooped and gagged, and that's my business.

Speaker 2

That's my business, amen. Um, he of course makes his way down to the ring, grabs the microphone. We get a hello ladies, um, hits us with uh they say everything's bigger in Texas wasn't true until Valvinus came. Ha ha ha yee. Um and uh this match is uh surprisingly good. Uh like surprisingly like solid match. Um, I think Valvinus is getting smoother in the ring um every week. I think it's a little more uh uh it's just a little less clunky. It's a little just More fluidity to it, a little more crisp on the moves. The transitions don't look as I'm thinking about this. Um Chains looked absolutely mortified to be under a gyrating Valvinus. He could not have had a more like straight man um just response to it, in which it's like it's not gay if I don't look like I like it. You know, like he's just like I have to like I have to shy like away from it because if I lay here and allow him to just do this move, which is his character, then that says something about me.

Speaker

And he literally did like the physical version of no homo.

Speaker 2

Absolutely, and you know what, Chains? You don't even look like you're ever dressed to wrestle. So, like, what are you doing?

Speaker

Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's the biggest of your worries, and if it is, it shouldn't be.

Speaker 2

Right. Um, Val Venus uh picks up the victory with the money shot. The rise of Valvinus is is ongoing, pun intended. Absolutely. Um, and then Kevin Kelly has a backstage interview with The Undertaker, and essentially it's just two questions. Um, can you trust Austin? He's like, No. Uh, how the how do you expect me to trust somebody whose literal um like mantra for life is don't trust anybody? Um, fair. Amen. Um, and then he was like, Can Austin trust you? And he was like, Well, yes. Um, he's like, Well, because I done I'm not, I have proven that I'm not going to attack someone called Steve Austin from behind. I'm going to hit him in the face from the front. So, yes.

Speaker

Um, and that's my friend.

Speaker 2

Amen.

Speaker

I will say what made me giggle. I had to, I wrote a note that like Kevin asked him the first question, and he goes, Kevin, I get Undertaker calls him, like just literally was like, Listen, Kevin. Like blah blah blah. And I was like, What? Like, I don't know. He was like, Kevin, I was like, You know me, dog. Like, that was crazy. So funny. I don't know why it made me giggle so bad. Kevin, you feel wrong. Um Stone Cold's thing, like it was just so great. Sorry.

Speaker 2

It was like first, okay, first naming. Okay. Um, uh, but that takes us into another backstage segment with DX. Um, and as they're, you know, they're essentially it's uh Triple H and X Pac essentially they look like they're scheming, um, but they're just having a conversation basically of being like, hey, like this is an important match, can't lay down, like I'm not just gonna lay down for you. Um, and then X Pac uh makes a joke about not having to lay down, you just have to get on your knees. Um, and then X-Pac essentially goes, like, look, like I'm 100%, I'm ready to go, like, let's do this. Um, and then the camera like uh cuts away as they're kind of like going back and forth, like you getting in, like, you know, just escalating man beef.

Speaker

Um, and then that's gonna take us into escalating man beef man beef insane new band new band name, escalating man beef. I'm like, I have to write that down. That's absolutely I have to remember that forever. Where the fuck is made then? Okay.

Speaker 2

Um, but after that, we get Mark Miro with Jacqueline taking on Dustin Runnels. Um, Double J comes out uh with Southern Justice in Tennessee Lee, uh seemingly, you know, to get their comeuppance. Um Double J joins Commentary, a guarantees victory at the King of the Ring tournament. Um, Lee is standing behind Southern Justice. Like it's so funny because they are literally like shoulder to shoulder, and his like he's just like standing like betwixt them with his nose like sticking uh out over their shoulder. He looks like um the mayor in uh the Powderpuff Girls. Um where he's just like where he's like, I don't wanna I I don't want to say 50, that's Jenny's probably like 30 schnauz. Um amen. But that was the vision he was giving me. Um Marrow hits a top rope hurricane rana. Um and then uh J double J jumps up on the apron. That calls for Sable to come down, um, come down, cause a distraction for Marrow, um, and allows Dustin to bulldog uh Mark into a pending situation, picks up the victory. Um Dustin picks up a victory, also much needed on his end. He's also been kind of on a down tick um as far as his stock has been in the absolutely. Um, so I don't know where this is going, although I'm pretty sure I know where this is going. Um, but we'll see how long uh and what's next for Dustin. Um that takes us back into another DX drop in the knowledge segment. Um and they're essentially still like beefing X Pac and Triple H. And China goes, walks up to them both and be like, you know what's gonna happen? I'll tell you what's gonna happen. You're gonna go out there and you're gonna fight like men. Are you gonna do this? And then like that's it. And I loved it. I loved it.

Speaker

She also never speaks.

Speaker 2

I know. That's why it was great. She was just like I was like, she said, voice of reasons.

Speaker

Oh man, and she and you're gonna go out there and fight like men. And they were like, Right.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I guess we are. Absolutely. So smart. I guess that's exactly what we're gonna do. Um Kevin Kelly has a very quick uh backstage interview with uh Dustin Runnels, and he takes the opportunity to give us the shortest, sweetest Oscar speech ever. Um uh that he wants to thank his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and then moves on, and that's it. And that's that's how that's that is the whole promo. I was like, nothing else.

Speaker

Girl, I was shocked. I was like, because I was like, oh my god, he's looking so cute these days. I love it. And then he was like, all I want to say is I'd like to take this opportunity, thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and then walks away.

Speaker 2

And I was like, Okay, oh right, sure. Let's let's talk about that guy.

Speaker

You know he's not here, right?

Speaker 2

He couldn't be with all the shit that goes on.

Speaker

Like, we just saw Val Venus. You think Jesus is in the house?

Speaker 2

No, no, Jesus takes the takes every Monday night off.

Speaker

Um Jesus is sitting on the convent couch minding his business.

Speaker 2

No, 100%. He moved his day of rest.

Speaker

So he said, he said, contrary to probably believe it's Monday.

Speaker 2

I'm just I need to turn a blind eye to this. So which is the only explanation I have for the attitude era.

Speaker

Um honestly, but a hundred percent they were operating in Jesus' blind eye blind spot, like Jesus' blind spot, that's another great band name. So good. The Jesus blind spot, that's where I operated.

Speaker 2

Truly spectacular. Um, but that's going to take us into our final King of the Ring qualifier, which is X Pac and Triple H. Um, X Pac is actually fighting. This is Kelsey's first time seeing X Pac fight, although kind of untrue. Um, because we did have a little uh peep um on a ladder match DVD that I have, which was six in WCW aka X Pac um taking on Eddie Guerrero, which I'm also glad you saw because hey, this was like the most X-Pac you've seen literally ever. Ever. Um so first time seeing X Pac, um China comes down to the ring and essentially makes this like a lumberjack match as China playing the lumberjacks for everybody. And then he tosses uh X-Pac back in the ring after he gets tossed out. Um at one point he gets tossed into the corner with such velocity that he gets like whiplashed and like hits the deck. It was absolutely brutal. It was terrible. Yeah, China returns the favor of Triple H though and throws his ass back in the ring um at the next point that he gets tossed out. Um, and we love to see it. Um, and then this match takes a hard left turn um when all of a sudden you hear the like disembodied voice of The Rock um coming over the the speakers in the stadium. He comes out and the rock essentially was like, When you beat me um last week, that was a fluke. When I get my hands on your candy ass, like it's game over. Um, this essentially allows Owen to run out atomic drop uh X-Pac onto the guardrail, um, dip. Um, and then as Triple H is like uh trying to figure out what happened to like his fallen compadre on the ground, um, the referee is counting um a double count out. X-Pac notices, which is like kudos to Xbox, yells at Triple H to get back in the ring so that they are not both um disqualified, uh eliminated, like which would give the rock a bye in the tournament. Um so crazy. Triple H just makes it at the counter nine um into the ring. Uh X-Pac is counted out, and then uh DX comes out to just save face, take Xbox out of there, um, get him looked at. Um Xbox was good. It was good, yeah. I I was so good. He can wrestle. I just like you just haven't seen it yet. And I like didn't he was pissing me off. Yeah, well, because on the microphone is not his strong suit. Um so you know, um, but this is this is you know his bread and but bread and butter. He's very athletic, is going to be a great addition to the light heavyweight division when he makes his way over there.

Speaker

I love to see him beat a Brian Christopher. That would throw me on relief. I will say I actually loved this intrusion from The Rock. I feel like this was very fierce, and this is like the this is like the chicanery I expect from a faction. Yes, like I this is like the stuff because I feel like the factions have been lacking so badly until now. Like now we're like really not obviously. Well, this it really gives the gang war of it all, like Yes, yes, but I this reminded me of like when I don't know who was it, like was did Ahmed go on the balcony and yell at Farouk, or was it the reverse?

Speaker 2

Other way around, I think, yeah.

Speaker

The other way around. But um, yeah, huge fan, huge fan of that, huge fan of the look at this hand so you don't see this hand, beat up your little friend.

Speaker 2

Very fierce, very, very fierce. Um, and then that takes us into a fantastic segment. Um, with Al Snow um coming out in a uh a mask with the head also coming out in a mask. So right. Um this prompts Jerry to come into the ring and confront Al Snow. And Jerry's like, you're never gonna get a meeting with Vince looking like this, um, and doing all these like antics. And Al Snow's like, Well, I already know I'm getting nothing out of you. I'm here to make some citizens arrest, which is hilarious. Um, and he goes, First, I would like to give like uh one to Vince for trying to kill my career um with some like gimmick, the the mask that he was wearing, and then another one for you, Jerry, for lewd conduct, which uh thank god somebody I said.

Speaker

Somebody finally's doing it. My god, right for lewd conduct.

Speaker 2

So so ridiculous. Jerry goes, your problem is that stupid head. Um, and then um Al Snow puts hands on Jerry and it's fantastic. Al s beautiful hits the the snow plow on the ref. Love a ref, love a ref bump, um, and then uses the head um to uh just continue beating up Jerry. Uh JR on commentary is um shouts uh King got head twice, um, which is hilarious. Um and then Al Snow runs away from security. It's great stuff.

Speaker

And he jumps into the crowd and the way they're like just so they're like, please come, we'll protect you. Like it's so beautiful because me as Fog, I would be like, get in here, like I'll hide you.

Speaker 2

So good, absolutely. Um so good, and I'm glad you know we're we're seeing an elevation in the Al Snow like craziness.

Speaker

Yes, I feel like this is I don't mind this slow burn because he's here in the building, and he's like, you can see who he is, people already know who he is, like you can see the style and it's like entertaining, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2

Yes, um, when it's just like a like a long period of vignettes, I'm like, oh my god, especially Edge, because they're just so ambiguous.

Speaker

Like, what are you even saying? Right, whatever.

Speaker 2

Anyway, no, but Edge also talks about like him having no idea what the hell they wanted the character to be when he got there.

Speaker

Yes. Oh, I don't blame him in the slightest. It's definitely not his fault.

Speaker 2

No, no, he's like in his like young 20s, like, what the hell is going on? Yeah, he's like, okay. Um, Michael Cole uh interviews Stone Cold Steve Austin backstage, essentially asks the same questions that Kevin Kelly asked the Undertaker earlier. Um, with the uh gist of it being don't trust anybody. We know this is Stone Cold Steve Austin, tried and true. The man is not exactly about to be changing up his uh game now. Uh so we cut away from that. That takes us into our next match, which is Owen Hart and Mark Henry um in a tag team match against Ken Shamrock and Dan Severin. Thank fucking god. They finally show us this MMA feud between the two. Um, which I will find one of these fights and we will watch it because I think that would just be so fun. Um, but finally they show that so that we can get some kind of like foundational understanding as to why these two have been like kind of just like thrust together and why it is why they are so uneasy around each other. Um because hey, show me the feud, show me the feud. Hey, I don't I don't if I am just a wrestling fan, I don't know that. I don't know what that is. I don't know why you waited like a month before showing me this footage.

Speaker

I'm so serious. They should have showed it when Dan Severn came to WWE, like immediately, right?

Speaker 2

They should have been laying that immediately.

Speaker

I've been obsessed, obsessed with that recently. So good immediately.

Speaker 2

Um what is that from?

Speaker

Mean girls. Um I just I finally saved the gif of him like in the in the sprinkler rain, just going immediately, and then turning and going immediately, because and now I just send it all the time to people.

Speaker 2

So fantastic.

Speaker

Um it comes up a lot more than you think. Now you're gonna do it. You do it one time, it's over.

Speaker 2

I opened the floodgates, Pandora's box is open. Um so uh they we cut to the match between Dan Severin and D Lo Brown, where apparently D Lo got his texts, his text, his pecs torn off, um, which is insane. And then they reshow it and they show D Lo screaming, and it's like, oh, just kidding, real pain. We're pain, real agony.

Speaker

Give him the Emmy, give him the Emmy. He's tearing, and I'm like, no, he's literally having his arm ripped off of his.

Speaker 2

That is actually a blood curdling scream because he means it, not just because of the drama. Uh so good. Owen and Shamrock immediately going at it. We know there's lots of uh history, a lot of history there. Owen obviously injured Ken. Um Ken has the smoothest takedown of Mark Henry ever. It was so smooth that Kelsey thought Mark Henry just tripped. Like it was.

Speaker

I was like, did he just eat shit?

Speaker 2

And I was like, I was like, no, Ken dropped and tripped him, and it was so good. So good. Um, another match that was surprisingly good, fantastic. Um, Ken of course, after basically Ken gets that one takedown, and then Mark Henry takes over with the power because Mark Henry takes over with the power. Um, and then Dan Sevron gets tagged in and just starts like throwing Mark Henry around, which is absolutely insane. Um beautiful. We get this like one little segment when Owen and Dan Severn come in and they start like amateur wrestling basically. Fantastic stuff.

Speaker

It was so cool. Honestly, love to see it.

Speaker 2

No, 100%. Um, I have a note that just says um Nation is just a better, smoother team. Obviously, like uh Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn don't really like each other, um, and the nation is obviously like a cohesive unit. Owen accidentally hits Mark Henry uh with a missile drop kick, um, which was just a uh you know comedy of errors. Um puts uh Ken in the sharpshooter. That's when DX comes out to get revenge for X Pac, um, attacks Owen. Vader comes out to get his revenge on Mark Henry, just the rest of the nation comes out, it's DX, it's Vader, it's the nation. They're everyone's losing their mind at one point. Um JR is like, yeah, like DX is fighting the the nation, and Vadr Vader is fighting anybody.

Speaker

Um and you're an amen.

Speaker 2

Period, period, period. I love it. I love it.

Speaker

Me too. I love when all the girls are scrapping. I love when there's real legitimate beef that I feel like is valid for all of them running out to fight each other.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I'm here for it.

Speaker

I and now I want to see it blow up.

Speaker 2

No, absolutely at the people view. Um, and then we get a super fun um tag team Royal Rumble. First one ever. Great, great match.

Speaker

Do this more.

Speaker 2

No, absolutely. Um, this was so fun. This is to determine the number one contender. A new team comes out every 30 seconds. Um, a in order for a team to be eliminated, only one of the members of the team has to get has to be eliminated, and then both members of the team have to exit the ring and head back to the locker room. Um, LOD comes out and they got helmets. Very fun. Very fun. Very fun, very fun. And then who is the first team to come out and challenge them? Oh, just Kane and Mankind. Girl, what the it's not enough, it's not enough for Kane to be the number one contender of the WWF championship. He also has his sights um set on the tag team championships.

Speaker

I just have to say this would piss me off really bad. Like, if I was an established tag team and here come these doop-de-doos in here to become the I would be so lipid.

Speaker 2

Yeah, but it's also you know, that's storytelling.

Speaker

Sorry, wait, I mean, I mean, I love being here.

Speaker 2

I love being you make it sound like you're like a prisoner. Um, so the next tag team is the Midnight Express. Hey, haven't seen you in a hot minute. Girl, I was like, what the I was like forgotten No, literally, this one was really pulling um from the recesses of my mind as far as my memory goes for some of these teams. Not kidding. Um, for some reason, the um the me on the back of the Midnight Express tights, I know it's M E for Midnight Express, but it just says me on both of their asses, and for me it just like cracks it like I don't know, it just like looks so silly to me. Um, but hey, we're here. Welcome back, guys.

Speaker

Um Midnight Express.

Speaker 2

Um that they're followed up uh by the headbangers, followed by the bald baddies, the DOA. Um, and then another uh pullback from the memory. We got Golga and Kurgan. Hey, bet you forgot who Golga is. Absolutely, the masked um gold guy and just nothing but neck um come out to participate in this tag team battle royal.

Speaker 1

It's so sad because it's true.

Speaker 2

100% Kane eliminates the Midnight Express. Um, and then we get the entrance of Too Much, which is uh Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor. Um, I really had to wait for the announcement of who Scott Taylor was because it I think they may have teamed once, but I did not know this was going to be a um consistent thing. Um our first uh our first of two odd couples, we have Black Mina and Farooq, followed up by our favorite odd couple, Taca and Bradshaw. I love them, and our uh uh final team, uh Funk Yu, Terry Funk, and uh Scorpio. Um Funk eliminates Kurgan and uh Golga, the LOD eliminate GOA. Um, too much eliminates themselves. Uh hilarious, of course. Kane eliminates the headbangers, mankind eliminates the Legion of Doom. That, if you could possibly be keeping track after all of that, leaves us with only Funk U and Kane and Mankind. Um, of course, Mankind takes the opportunity to bash his friend, um, Terry Funk. Uh with a chair. Kane, tombstone, scorp Scorpio. Kane kicks Terry, just clear in the face, clear out of the ring. Mankind and Kane are the number one contenders to the tag team championships.

Speaker

What the crazy.

Speaker 2

Crazy. Absolutely crazy. Such a fun match, though. Such a fun match.

Speaker

Oh, yeah. We need to do this more. This is so fun. And they had people come in instead of every two minutes, every 30 seconds. Right. So it's like some of the attack teams were sprinting.

Speaker 2

Breakneck.

Speaker

Yes. We're sprinting into the ring because it's like we have literally 30 seconds to capitalize on being the new people in the ring. Like it was so great. I loved it. I loved it.

Speaker 2

I thought it was great. I thought it was a lot of fun.

Speaker

And if you say Royal Rumble, you know Xavier is goopy gagged.

Speaker 2

He's like seated every time.

Speaker

He's like a Royal Rumble, you say.

Speaker 2

Listen, and the fact that now there's two per Royal Rumble just really sends me.

Speaker

It's it's limited, it's everything. It's so great. I love a Royal Rumblina.

Speaker 2

Amen. But then that immediately takes us into the main event because hey, uh, these guys are fighting part two. Um Paul Bear calls for the cage to be lowered, um, and for the main event like to begin. Um, mankind hits us with just a beautiful poem. Um so beautiful. I literally somebody should be just uh cataloging these um and binding them into like the book of mankind. So good.

Speaker

Um my god, he honestly his best promos and poems and like little things should be in a girl. The way I'm about to DM him.

Speaker 1

No, one point.

Speaker

Hey, I know you're on the political train right now, and as you should be, just ripping every one of your colleagues to shreds. I love, but um, this would be a great idea for you. I would buy that in a heartbeat.

Speaker 2

No, what 1000%. Um, so good. So he recites a poem. Fantastic. Um, the hell in a cell is upon us. Uh Paul Bear is just calling out uh Austin and The Undertaker, basically calling them yellow, which is insane to me. I don't know why you would uh ever do that.

Speaker

Um guys are really you guys do not learn anything. It's no never never retention.

Speaker 2

No, couldn't rub two braid cells together if they were literally just put in both of his hands. Um couldn't do it. Um so uh they both show. Duh. Um but they but but wait. I was like, ooh, sorry, go ahead. No, but first, so the taker Austin comes out, he's not getting in the Hell in a Cell alone because he's he's nobody's fool. Um, and then the Undertaker music hits, he's announced no show, weird. Um, he's announced again, music plays, no show, very weird. Um, and then uh Austin basically is like, okay, well, I guess I'm starting this match alone. Um, and uh chaos absolutely ensues, fight on the outside um of the of the cage. Mankind and Kane essentially start taking on Austin. Bear locks himself in the ring, he's so dumb in the cage, um, and then he's parading himself on the ring, like loudmouth celebrating when the undertaker just bursts through the bottom of the ring. Um Paul Bear has locked himself in the ring inside a hell in a cell with the Undertaker after having falsely accused him of attacking Stone Cold Steve Haustin last week. You trying to tell me you would lie on this man's name and then ooh, ooh, big, big, big dumb, big big dumb, dummy, stupid dumb. Amen. Big, big dumb. Uh, because the Undertaker takes Paul Bear to task. He is in the ring beating that man five ways from Sunday, and Kelsey could not have been happier. I when I tell you glee. I saw glee cross her face.

Speaker

They turned when he turned and he was bleeding from the face and it was running into his eyes and his mouth. I was like this.

Speaker 2

Insane.

Speaker

So so so fucked up. But I was like, because I'm talk shit get hit. I'm tired because especially you. I know you're not a wrestler, but I don't care if you're not a wrestler, shut your mouth. Why are you talking about me? Why are you talking about my mother? Why are you doing all this insanity and then coming in here and thinking nothing is gonna happen to you? You locked yourself away from your two little bodyguards, and now it's time to pay uh the piper. Absolutely, and but they really had me for a second because I was like, what they're not about to do is slander the Undertaker's name as a no-show. I will literally flip this freaking table. Like, I was like, what we're not about to do is say that Undertaker doesn't stand on business. Don't ever do that, don't ever do that. So I was like, he's gotta be under the ring, he's gotta be coming in from the ceiling. Like, I was like, There there has to be an explanation for this.

Speaker 2

And then I was like, and there was, and it was a beating of a lifetime, and I Paul Bear looked never for a mess. He looked a mess.

Speaker

Oh, I could have never foreseen the joy. I thought he would like maybe come in and like be that like surprise, like Mankind or Kane. Isolated and alone, Paul Bear.

Speaker 2

I fantastic. I'm Austin and Mankind are destroying each other on the outside of the ring. Kane, for some reason, has taken it upon himself to climb to the top of the ring and try and gain entry into the hell in a cell from the roof. Um, and he's up there for a solid like five minutes doing that. Um uh hi. Pot hole. This man debuted during a hell in a cell match, the only other one that has existed, um, by breaking the chain off of the door and then breaking the door off the hinges. So you're trying to tell me that suddenly, just the old the next, the very next time that the hell in a cell presents itself, he doesn't know how to get in. I'm a need. Uh uh listen, all of this was great. I was happy to see Paul locked in the cage with the Undertaker, but don't tell me that he doesn't know how to get into the Hell in a Cell. He literally debuted getting into the Hell in a Cell. Yes, that was the whole the whole gag was this finally they were gonna lock DX out in this like mag like impenetrable fortress of pain, and like nobody was gonna get it. Like that was the whole gag, and then he got in, and then you're trying to tell me that we're all supposed to just believe that he was like I'll go through the top. Uh yeah, right, crazy.

Speaker

Not to check the perimeter first. He saw the locked door and immediately just started climbing upwards. He is like legit the horror movie victim who instead of running out the front door, runs up the stairs for some reason. It's like, no, Diva, the answer is use the test to take the test. We've already done this.

Speaker 2

Absolutely, absolutely um, but Austin and Mankind are still feuding on the outside. Austin uses the steel chair, um, absolutely brutalizes mankind uh with a headshot. Um crazy. Um at one point they immediately cut from that chair shot of mankind and Austin um into the Undertaker essentially dropping the steel steps on Paul Bear's head. Crazy. Um so insane. Um, Austin and Kane start fighting on the outside. Oh, I lied. Um, Austin, having disposed of mankind by essentially decapitating him, starts climbing up into the top of the cage, and the episode ends with Kane and Austin fighting on top of the hell in a cell. Um, absolutely giving us just like a little taste of what the main event of the King of the Ring is going to be like. And then we get taken into extra attitude, which is what happens when Raw goes off the air. Um, and it's just them continuing to feud. They're like basically fighting down the side of the cage. The Undertaker and Kane essentially fight their way out of the arena. Um, it cuts back to Inside of the Ring, Mankind, uh, hits Stone Cold with the Mandible Claw, um, only to be immediately reversed into a Stone Cold Steve Stance stunner, and allows for uh the kind of conclusion of the program to be Stone Cold, um, you know, celebrating with the title on high. God. This episode was absolutely insane. One you did if you want a just of the attitude era, this was a great episode. This is a good one. This was a great episode. It's breakneck pace. There was lots of like interwoven storylines, like the entire first part of the show of the show. Um, the first segment introduced the uh main event, the rest of the like King of the Ring, uh like qualifiers are essentially all now like interwoven into a pretty interesting mix of stuff um leading into the next bracket of the tournament, which is great. Um, the blood feud between DX and the nation is just escalating and getting more gang warfare, more depth, yeah. Uh, which love to see. Um, and we're we're gonna just have some pretty interesting combinations of uh the of Kane and Stone Cold Steve Austin, and then we're gonna just see the the big kahuna, um, the hell in a cell between mankind and the undertaker coming up. So it's all like super exciting.

Speaker

When I I would not me. When I posted um on my Instagram, I was like, oh my god, I just realized that I posted our text message where I was like, holy shit, is this the year that's like the hell in a cell between Undertaker and Mankind? The amount of people that were like, You haven't seen that, like, oh my god, because I truly don't the only thing I know is that Mick Foley go goes through it. Like there there is an egregious something that occurs. That is literally all I know.

Speaker 2

Which is great. Um, because it's it's it's such a good match. They like literally have talked. There have just been like countless specials, interviews, questions about this match, like in particular, so much so that Mick Foley, for a long time, like did not want to talk about it. Um, so he was like, I get it. No, yeah, no, literally. Um, he's like, No, lived it, got it. Um, but fantastic stuff. I thought this was a beautiful episode.

Speaker

Great episode, so good.

Speaker 2

Barreling towards the king of the rings. Stay tuned for that. If you guys can, please look out for the diaper drive information. Um, we will have all of that across our socials. Um, there will also be a post on the Dolly Moose social. Um, if you guys are into that, you should definitely check out what they do because ain't nobody half-assing anything in that kitchen and shop. Um, it's a beautiful, beautiful place. Um, if you have never been and just kind of want to be in a space that is nothing but beautiful energy, then go bring all of your Legol baby supplies to the shop. Come say hi. Um, well, you probably won't catch Kelsey, but you you can catch the other um you can she's she's hard at work in the in the kitchen and everything uh for for that shop. But thank you guys. This has been another episode of the New to Wrestling Podcast. Thank you for watching, listening, subscribing, all that fun stuff wherever you find us. For Kelsey, I am Xavier. We will catch you on the next one.

Speaker

We'll see you there.

Speaker 2

Bye.

Speaker

Bye.