Ever wondered what happens when you throw an imp, a goose, and a bunch of dweorgs into an adventure? Spoiler alert: it leads to one of the most bizarre and entertaining podcast episodes yet! Join us as we recount our latest exploits in the Land of Eem, where our characters, fresh from the forest's edge, find themselves in a series of misadventures ranging from ethical conundrums at the Dweorg Trading Post to a "mine off" that's more than a little out of the ordinary.
Laughter is a given, but it's not all fun and games; we're talking serious strategy as the Sneaky Goose Pirate Crew sets sail on a covert mission to free a goo-like creature who's just bursting for a taste of freedom. And who could've predicted an old rivalry rearing its head amidst the shenanigans? Keep your ears peeled for Brang Thurk's unexpected cameo, setting the stage for an epic showdown.
Topping it off, we navigate a dicey negotiation with a sarpathi prophet, where the fine line between diplomacy and intimidation couldn't get any blurrier. Will our characters avoid bloodshed, or will their moral compass lead them into uncharted territories? And just when you think things can't get more offbeat, we introduce you to the hilarious clam-based bread predicament. Don't miss out on this riot of an episode that promises action, humor, and a hefty dose of the unexpected!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Ever wondered what happens when you throw an imp, a goose, and a bunch of dweorgs into an adventure? Spoiler alert: it leads to one of the most bizarre and entertaining podcast episodes yet! Join us as we recount our latest exploits in the Land of Eem, where our characters, fresh from the forest's edge, find themselves in a series of misadventures ranging from ethical conundrums at the Dweorg Trading Post to a "mine off" that's more than a little out of the ordinary.
Laughter is a given, but it's not all fun and games; we're talking serious strategy as the Sneaky Goose Pirate Crew sets sail on a covert mission to free a goo-like creature who's just bursting for a taste of freedom. And who could've predicted an old rivalry rearing its head amidst the shenanigans? Keep your ears peeled for Brang Thurk's unexpected cameo, setting the stage for an epic showdown.
Topping it off, we navigate a dicey negotiation with a sarpathi prophet, where the fine line between diplomacy and intimidation couldn't get any blurrier. Will our characters avoid bloodshed, or will their moral compass lead them into uncharted territories? And just when you think things can't get more offbeat, we introduce you to the hilarious clam-based bread predicament. Don't miss out on this riot of an episode that promises action, humor, and a hefty dose of the unexpected!
https://linktr.ee/landofeem
Hey, hey guys. John James are muted. Why is everyone muted?
Speaker 2:Oh, I muted myself. I also muted myself, and good start, good start. I muted myself Everybody missed out on that mad tackle that I provided. It can only happens once, it can never happen again.
Speaker 1:I can't do it on, command it just came out of me.
Speaker 2:It was the guttural tackle.
Speaker 1:Hey Tyler, How's it going? You can't watch because you're still watching session three.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, worries man.
Speaker 1:Got a lot of episodes to catch up on, like 20 more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's crazy. I'm excited for you because you have a lot of stuff to watch.
Speaker 1:Thanks for watching.
Speaker 2:Yeah, thanks for watching Tyler. Also, tyler, you get to watch us progress from being weirder on the stream and then being less comfortable to now where we're comfortable and we barely have a filter. Is what James is trying to say. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Let it all hang out, okay, indeed.
Speaker 2:Indeed.
Speaker 1:Bernard gives his good luck.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay. That's got the good luck coming in early. I love it. I already feel better about the adventure that we're going to go on today. I feel confident that Riley will skate by and that Gail only. Gailan. Yeah, I'm not going to say that only Gailan will be near death. Yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way Because Gailan's a bruiser. You see, he gets into it when we need to with my dominant thick frog legs. There it is, there it is. I felt like Ben he's shaking his head.
Speaker 1:Let's recap last week. Actually, we have an announcement.
Speaker 2:We have a couple of announcements right. It's like well one, if nobody checked it out G game nights. Oh yeah, played a land of EAM Sessions Zero, creating our characters on Twitch, and you guys check that out. That was pretty funny and pretty fun to watch. And then, of course, we've got the other announcement, mr Kosta.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we are doing the Zine Quest, which is a thing that Kickstarter does every February, where people put out RPG contents in the form of a Zine and we're throwing our hat into the ring. We're doing a adventure set in the land of EAM More information to come soon. We're kind of doing a mad dash to create it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the decision to jump in to put through our hat in the ring came like in two seconds and now we're scrambling to put something together. But one thing that's cool is that even if you don't play the land of EAM yet, you can still play this because it's rules agnostic, it doesn't. You can use it in any kind of oh no. Yeah, very cool. That's how we roll. You know what I mean. So I'm gonna be dungeon dragons 3.5 edition. Just roll up, use all my skills, pay the bills.
Speaker 1:And what's also cool is I'll reveal that it uses our random dungeon rules that are in beta, so it's already play tested. You know, we already know works, yep.
Speaker 2:It works and it's, it's fun. Big hint.
Speaker 1:And Tyler, you're gonna.
Speaker 2:You're gonna see a couple of sessions where George and I get trapped and randomly generate. Yeah, I didn't say. Big hint is you should always go for the mythic court.
Speaker 1:Never go for your objective.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a. We almost went for it last time.
Speaker 1:So, tempting.
Speaker 2:We were good. We were good and didn't do that. And look where it got us. We live in a circle. We didn't get stuck in there for three sessions anyway. Anyway, welcome to the land of Yim stream. We are going to continue the quest. What is a season 2, episode 190 or whatever? You at least.
Speaker 1:Yeah, season 2, episode 3. The 23rd episode. And last time you guys left dunk and we're headed towards finding a Dunlock the ringmaster who would run away from the circus because he has a prisoner, sarpathy lock in a cage. Seal the prophet, yeah, the prophet.
Speaker 2:Seal the prophet.
Speaker 1:So he's trying to escape the Sarpathy who had infiltrated dunk. You went after him, but then you got distracted by some.
Speaker 2:Star fell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, or that just fell from the sky and you had a little encounter with some Felmog knights. One of them is your rival, george.
Speaker 2:Weldar, you don't like that guy. Yeah, the other guy's name, the hammer.
Speaker 1:The hammer. We really ended up really pissing him off. So I wouldn't feel safe at this moment if I were you to know.
Speaker 2:That's our default. I mean, I've never felt yeah, peace and anxiety.
Speaker 1:It's my favorite, so you went to hide in the edge of the wood.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's right. That's right yeah.
Speaker 1:So you guys should heal a little bit but, as I recall, you have disadvantage on this healing. Check this healing role. So you take the word.
Speaker 2:Let me scroll back and see where my hit points were at. Yeah, good call, I don't remember. It's like I'm at 11 out of 16. Yeah, yeah, all right, I'm going with 11 out of 16. That's the most recent one I had. That's not too bad. I've definitely started out worse. I want to say that I was at 13, but I don't know if that's accurate. We're going for it Now. It's can. All right then, so I'll just be at 13. I don't, I can't find the note in the role 20. Yeah, all right, so we should. Yeah, we'll heal a little bit. We're camping for the night. Yeah, dude, I can, I can cook a disadvantage for a d10. We want to go for it? Yeah, I mean, it couldn't be like? You'll At least be full and I may get a little more than that. We'll see, I will do we do it like a Dutch woman, or courage? Nice, I am almost full, as is my belly. Get what you cook, james or Riley. What do you cook? Um, we've got all like bandy clamp meat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2:It's like a meat spaghetti. You know what I mean. It's like a like a meat. You don't you pull out a couple of almonds and you milk them and you get a nice cream sauce, going for the kind of milking, milking an almond. That's how almond milk is made, it's true. It's true, milking an almond.
Speaker 1:Um, so let's move on to the next day.
Speaker 2:Do it. Wake up feeling we're ready for your bandy clamp. We should probably keep. If we travel through the grimly woods at the edge of it, do we lose any kind of like? Is there speed penalty or it's okay still?
Speaker 1:there is, it'd be one, I'm going here.
Speaker 2:Hmm, what do you think, riley Cause, if we go back out into the open, I feel like we'll be having a higher yeah. I'm torn because grimly wood is also super dangerous. Hmm, but two ticked off felmog nights that one is your rival could be. Yeah, do you want to maybe move, like you said, only one hex a day been, not one hex per leg.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the grimly wood is like, so twisted and crazy that there are only certain paths you can get through easily.
Speaker 2:What if we just go like out like the hexes around grimly, like not through grimly? And then we could run in there and hide or something If I like it. Yeah, we can go 615, 614 kind of thing. Okay, let's get this show on the right.
Speaker 1:I'll start it off.
Speaker 2:Bernard gave us good luck for the stream. I feel confident that our travel checks will be strong. Yeah, although I didn't roll earlier to get my bad checks out of the system, so let's see. I mean, it's an eight and eight is great.
Speaker 1:Eight is great, I'll take it. It's a bump in the road. Okay, roll D6.
Speaker 2:Roll D6. Roll D6. Bum ba dum, ba, dum bum.
Speaker 1:You've gained unwanted attention.
Speaker 2:Hmm, but is it from film again? Nights, are they called film again? Oh, my fill Dango, film all guys.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I rolled the five. You don't know who it's from, but we'll make a note of that. And, james, you're up. All right, here we go.
Speaker 2:When a GM tells you make a perception check and they say you don't see anything. Also an eight. Bernard says don't count on the luck. We still love it, man, we still need it. If it wasn't for the luck, imagine how much worse these rules every Saturday morning I get pumped up just knowing that, like Bernard is with Um but not be with you, and all four with your role at D6.
Speaker 1:strange six five oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:All right, attention again. What is it yeah?
Speaker 1:That means, like the chance that something happens when you can't is super high.
Speaker 2:So you're saying we should go deep into Grimly Woods To camp there we're so close to your good Go ahead.
Speaker 1:So you already the chances one out of six normally, but you've just added to and you were already in a dangerous situation, so you have a four out of six chance of.
Speaker 2:So James should be you know it's, I don't really do. Where are the eyes coming from? From Grimly Woods or from?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and you notice, you just get bad feelings as you uh as you journey across the land. You can move here. Did you move?
Speaker 2:No, we haven't moved yet. Go ahead, george. Yeah, we'll just do one. We don't want to go into Grimly Woods, right, we're still staying on the edge of it. Yeah that was the plan. We're closer to Irmigurg. I won't always say Irmigurg, irmigurg, oh my gurg, oh my gurg. Well, you guys are lucky.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice. What do you say as you're camping this evening? That wasn't so bad. We got away from those knuckleheads.
Speaker 2:I'd say, right, let me see the Starfell, Starfell, starfell, starfell, starfell. Or Take a look at this and I'll hand it to him. I'll take a look at this Starfell, or Take a look at this and I'll hand it to him. It kind of gleams off in the firelight. What does Starfell look like? Is it any kind of hue to it? It looks like a really dark meteorite. Yes, exactly.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'd say it's so black?
Speaker 2:Is it reflective at all? I don't know. I've never really worked with this stuff. It's so rare I do the thing where you know, you know you're not going to see the stars.
Speaker 1:I do the thing where you know like you bite a coin.
Speaker 2:I kind of bite the metal a little bit. I say ah, ah, ah. Ah, it's good, it's tough stuff, it's definitely tough stuff.
Speaker 1:It is poisonous, you'll die.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you just die. Just kidding I'd say thanks, jonah, thanks. He put the Starfell metal in his mouth and sucked it like a popsicle. He had developed a cough and a wheeze for six days. Yes, he kept saying he had the black lung. I did not know what that meant. See our impulses just be Jonah and Bach, in every single situation where we stopped what's going on with Jonah.
Speaker 1:We don't actually want to have inter-party conversation.
Speaker 2:We just want to speak as Jonah and Bach observing us.
Speaker 1:It's true, it's true.
Speaker 2:All right, so.
Speaker 1:You can also. Anyone can tell a story about themselves, if you want to go that route.
Speaker 2:I immediately retell the story about the time we stole Starfell from Weldar, because it's all I can think about and I think it's hilarious. We're both like really pumped up about it.
Speaker 1:Jesus.
Speaker 2:Christ, his face. The hammer, my butt. That guy got the hammer. Who calls himself the hammer? That's so dumb. Somebody that's overcompensating, that's what I think. I bet he doesn't even know how to use that hammer. I saw him trying to swing it. He's just torn around. This is the moment where the two heroes become overconfident about their success and are destroyed by their enemies. The dangled pride before the fall I tell you.
Speaker 2:Yes, the pride before the fall. Let's see. Are there any stories that I really do want to tell about myself, though, I'll say did I ever tell you about Aura, the Imp who would have the what?
Speaker 1:Aura the.
Speaker 2:Imp, she's a pal.
Speaker 2:She's the one that helped me escape the Sarpathi. When we found each other in the woods after we both had to flee the town, she's the one that snuck me out. She used one of her imp tricks to make me look like a bush for like 25 seconds, and that was enough. 25 seconds is all it took. It's all it took, and the Sarpathi slithered away into the darkness. Well, you know what they say about a shrimp in the hand is worth two in the bush, or something like that. It's an old saying. I have heard that. I don't know what it means, but I'm pretty sure it applies to your situation. I think it has something to do with luck. Yeah, I'll say wow, that's a lot easier of a time than I had it getting out of there. You know it was. All I remember is the flames. Everywhere I turned it was fire, fire and shadows on the other side of them Hissing and slithering. I don't even remember how I got out. I think I repressed that memory.
Speaker 1:I don't remember how I got out.
Speaker 2:I think I repressed that memory. It was a dark time. But if we can find the zeal, the prophet, maybe we can find out where the people have been kidnapped to. We can finally not only them, but we can rescue Rick Crazy Ernie and see why they wanted him so bad. I wonder if he's made traps for them. You think he turned, turned on a, I wanted to say humanity, but the rest of the Mucklins, goblin, Goblinity, goblindom, goblindom. I sure hope not. He's crazy.
Speaker 2:Anybody that's capable of coming up with sticky floor traps and exploding doorknobs, that makes him you gotta be a little crazy. The worst was the ding dong noose I remember reading about. You walk up to a door, you press a doorbell, a noose around your neck and you're in a room underneath you. It was terrible. You used to call it the welcome mat from Hetch. We fell asleep that night dreaming of different ways. Crazy Ernie might kill us. It's restless and destroyed.
Speaker 1:What you actually dream about is a welder and the hammer exacting these horrible crazy traps on you. Yeah, the night passes without incidents, the new day you're only one leg away from Yergegerg, the hub of Dwargs in Dunk.
Speaker 2:You'd think they would call it like Dwarg-e-Gurg.
Speaker 1:That's two on the nose.
Speaker 2:It's true. All right, let me see if we can get us there without event. All right, that's a 10.
Speaker 1:All right, would you like to find some resources on the way?
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe we can look for some oibs. I have to open my manual.
Speaker 1:They're all wilderness check.
Speaker 2:That's right, let me make the wilderness check real quick. Thank you, that might be an herb with some unwanted attention, I can't remember. Available now on Drive-ThruRPG for the low-low price of free. Check out the details and the details.
Speaker 1:Find a random herb, nice, roll a D12. Do it.
Speaker 2:It's a nine.
Speaker 1:Find mountain hermit.
Speaker 2:Is that the unwanted attention, or is that the herb that's?
Speaker 1:the herb.
Speaker 2:Okay, I want to look for some components, some elemental components, to take advantage of this Starfell in the near future.
Speaker 1:That was part of this check. Only George can do that, but you could do that. I wanted to take time out of the day.
Speaker 2:We have all day, if you want to. What do you think about that, ben, if we do two checks and only proceed one leg in the day and arrive at night? If you want, james is fine, I don't care, we're in a hurry. Let's just go get find Zeal. Somebody's in a hurry?
Speaker 1:Alright, you enter the. It's not really a town. It's sort of like a trading post and place for transient dwargs who are constantly on the move because they're nomadic people. And they're going from the underlands up here and across the world. This is like the main surface world hub.
Speaker 2:Is there a path to the underlands here?
Speaker 1:Not exactly.
Speaker 2:But they have their dwargy ways. I immediately begin putting up flyers and leaflets for the new bridge at the crack. That's amazing 5% off. All Tolfies use the bridge at the crack now.
Speaker 1:Are you like forcing Zona and Bach to rip out pages?
Speaker 2:Zona. Help us out. Come on, we'll buy a new moscow. You can grow more. You're like a fungus right? Can't you make more fungus pages Is?
Speaker 1:that how it works. No, that's not how any of this works.
Speaker 2:It's the only time he rolls his eyes.
Speaker 1:I love it. This place it's, you know, afternoon it's bumping. There's tons of stuff going on, a lot of places to buy things. You see that a lot of people are selling creatures, various types of creatures.
Speaker 2:Sentient, or just like the equivalent of a pet store.
Speaker 1:Some sentient. It's not a great place.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:These dwarfs man, you see like a cage of gelatinous goos.
Speaker 2:They're so cute. They really look, that one likes you. Should we spring them? Sorry tempting, but maybe on the way out.
Speaker 1:Even the momentary look that you take at this cage gives you some pushback from the merchant. There he goes. I don't like looky-loos.
Speaker 2:You gonna buy All right. All right, how much for one gelatinous goo friend.
Speaker 1:Two pouches of gold.
Speaker 2:Two pouches of gold. Well, there are a copper, a dozen in the crack.
Speaker 1:If you find your own. These are the best goos sniff out gems best and are trained by me.
Speaker 2:Oh, you train him. Is there a money back gold patchback guarantee?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:No Say wait, wait, wait, wait. If they're so good at finding gems, why have you yourself? Why are you not adorned in gems? I'm gonna elbow Galen and give him a look like keep talking to this guy, Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna like saunter over like not looking at the goose but get close to the cage. I say, yeah, this doesn't make sense, right, it's like a psychic saying they can predict like anything, right, like if they could, wouldn't they just look to see what the latest dunk lottery numbers are and just win it? I don't know, like how could you tell me that these guys smell out gems? Can they smell the gems on me?
Speaker 1:It could, but.
Speaker 2:I'm guessing you don't have any. Because you're looking, no, no, I'm just a quality kind of sewer, my friend.
Speaker 1:Make a trickery check.
Speaker 2:I immediately take Riley's hat and put it on. I don't, I mean that ain't bad, it's a seven. We have a. He gets a counter attack. Well, a counter trickery. This is how haggling works in the land of the. It's a trick off.
Speaker 1:So you have successfully got his attention away from the cage Nice. But, riley, you're finding that it's locked pretty well.
Speaker 2:And I don't speak goo. Actually, you tinker, taylor. It's part of a jack of all trades. I did pick up a little goo before I moved out to river country from shrimp as a little kid. There's lots of goos down there in the deserts of shrimp and I I'm going to attempt to speak to Latin school to find out if they know where the keys are. Are goos desert dwelling creatures? They're underground creatures and shrimp the idea of goos traveling single file in the desert to hide their numbers One trail behind seven? Okay, I'm going to attempt to speak. Gelatinous Goose? Um, what check is that? Realms? Yeah, realms, realms, to pay the.
Speaker 2:Nightmare on real 13. Yes, 13.
Speaker 1:That's good, I'm going to be like critically gooey, okay, um, I'll just be like folks are out here, yes, Do you know where this door keeps the keys? In a drawer.
Speaker 2:Okay, hold on tight. Maybe we'll try to spring you at midnight. Thanks, all right, I'll put my hands in my pockets and they'll be like, wander away, like it's nothing, back over the game and give them.
Speaker 1:Those are still like in a gem conversation.
Speaker 2:Okay, and we'll. Uh, I don't take the hint. It goes on for like an hour. We're trying to figure out like well, what about emeralds? I mean, can this guy smell emeralds?
Speaker 1:A mile away.
Speaker 2:Well, like, but then why is? There's obviously an emerald within a mile of here. I mean, your Gurg is got to have some emeralds in it. Why is he not going crazy, galen, galen, uh, I'm getting a little hungry. Can we go go pop on over to that? I don't take the hint, but after a minute or two I finally like, let it go. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, all right, I'm going to go get a gem and I'm going to bring it by, and if your goob can sniff it out and we're on, we're on.
Speaker 1:You know what? I don't even want to do business with you. You're just uh, look, if, if, if, you ever minor and you make mining equipment, it doesn't mean that you have to go mine to make that relevant.
Speaker 2:That doesn't even apply to this situation. I say, look, look, I'll take a goo off your hands for a copper. I mean, it looks like you need some help here. Get out of here. Hey, I'm sulting in leave. That was so close, galen. You were able to distract him for the perfect amount of time. Apparently, the door keeps the keys and the drawer in his room and we're going to sneak back here at midnight and let these go. I'm going to get it. Uh, did we level last time? Oh, I said I was going to level, I didn't, I just. All right, I have not leveled yet.
Speaker 2:Carry on I've got a four chest of XP to spend. I'll probably do it between now and the next quest. Um, all right, can we wander through the this like bizarre of creatures to see, if we can't find if the guy is trying to sell zeal? Is that a profit? Yeah, that's smart. Okay, I like it.
Speaker 1:You want to just go around talking to people. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Hey, you were looking for some kind of special you know, make a charm check. I say it kind of looks like Serpentor. That's a five that I rolled. It's perfect, it's the best, it's the best role possible. There have been no other roles like it.
Speaker 1:Your charm is okay, uh, yeah, no one is giving up any information about this. Um, but what do you think the plus is struggling to think of a plus.
Speaker 2:Mmm. The plus is that, uh, when we go back at midnight to release the goose, the guys know where to be found and we find the keys in the drawer very easily. We succeed. Gather experience points.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:On to the next quest and quest and quest. Um, maybe the plus is that, uh, we can't find the Serpathy, but we get word that there are special creatures that are for sale in a secret space, secret place. Yeah, that might be. Requires some finagling to get into.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, um, that's cool. Yeah, yeah, uh uh, dwork tells you to meet him at night.
Speaker 2:Let's say uh, Raleigh, that's when we're supposed to spring the goose. I mean, I don't know. Um, hmm. Well, I say, where do you want us to meet you at night?
Speaker 1:On the outskirts of Yerga Gerg.
Speaker 2:Is that the outskirt of Gerg Right? Okay, I think I've cracked the code. I can speak to word to Gerg now, um, okay.
Speaker 1:Yerga Gerg. Uh for all you uninitiated, is uh roughly translated to hilly waypoint.
Speaker 2:Look at that. So Yerga is hilly and Gerg is waypoint. Look at that.
Speaker 1:linguistics, I don't know, maybe it's, maybe it's the opposite.
Speaker 2:I'm going to make a linguisa check and figure this out. Delicious, uh, that's cool, okay. So yeah, we should totally move this guy on the outskirts. Um, yeah, maybe we could. Maybe we could spring the goose on the way out? Yeah, what time does the market generally close? Ben, do you like? Would we be able to? Is there like a specific time, or do these people Uh, yeah, night Night, Okay like as as dusk falls in the land of Gerg. Um cool, then let's do that, let's uh, let's go. We'll meet this guy for sure.
Speaker 1:Are you doing that after you spring the goose? Yeah, that's the question.
Speaker 2:I was going to say we could spring the goose and then get to the outskirts of town, meet this guy, so that we're not like running around the town after they spring Mm, hmm, let's do it. I'm very excited about this. Um, do you have anything stealthy? If I take off my armor, I don't have a stealth penalty, let's put it that way. Okay, cause I'm I'm minus one sneak. Yeah, I am, I am disadvantaged to sneak.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, then I will, I can sneak in. I might be best off, like being on watch and intercepting anyone who comes in, cause while you try to sneak, like I can just be the man catcher. No, no, we sold it. Okay, cause I was going to say if the guy, like, if he wakes up or something, I could run out and grab him. Oh, okay, well, I mean, how about this? I'll stand guard out front and I'll be polishing my tortoise uh, not a euphemism, I'll just be like brushing her shell and, uh, keeping watch.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, um, I will. Uh, I'm actually going to give you. Actually, you know what I'm going to use. Um, so let's go back to the goose and I'm going to um, create. I'm going to use I for clues, I for goose. I for goose To show that, um, the drawer. So the guy sleeps on a bunk bed in like a tent. He's on the top bunk and the bottom bunk is like where he's got like a chest and like a bunch of papers and stuff. Okay, and I'm going to sneak in underneath it and, uh, if he wakes up um club him to death.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank God, dark. Actually I was going to say, well, maybe that's too much noise, Nevermind, I take it back. But um, just that he's above it, so that he's not at the same eye level as me.
Speaker 1:Nice. Sneak in there Um well, roll to see if that's true. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then I'm going to give you a bonus on your sneak check.
Speaker 1:Um should.
Speaker 2:I have a five plus a QP, plus a QP I'm going to use a quest point so it's a six.
Speaker 1:All right, Uh, so that's true. However, he's um, he's still awake and he's reading a book by candlelight.
Speaker 2:Uh, I give you a bonus of plus two to your next check, james. Okay, all right, I'm going to like crawl on all fours, like inch across the floor, um, to get to the bottom bunk. Um, this plus two, so I'll be plus one to sneak. Nice Well, I didn't realize we're both not sneaky 13.
Speaker 1:Nice. Yes, it's amazing. Uh yeah, you are able to sneak in there. You want the key and he doesn't even look up from this book. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:Um, okay, let's, let's let the goose out. Who let the goose out?
Speaker 1:They tell you thanks in their gelatinous tongue and uh say, where should we go?
Speaker 2:You know you can either go home or, if you're ever looking for a job sniffing treasure, we are in the process of building a ship in Mucklin Harbor to go on an adventure to terror island, where there's supposed to be some big treasure. So if you're looking for work, head on down to Mucklin's and ask for. I forget his name. I forget his real name.
Speaker 1:Noggin.
Speaker 2:Uh, you crap. Um yeah, lumpley Pender goose. Lumpley, lumpley Pender goose. Yeah, ask for Lumpley Pender goose and tell them that we sent you. Uh, I'm Riley, it's Kaelin. You know that I would love to have a goo in the party. I want them to crew the ship with us.
Speaker 1:That would be amazing. I've always wanted to sail the seas.
Speaker 2:Is that the goo? Or is that zoning in buck making a comment? It's the goo, oh, okay, well, we're, we're looking for a crew and you're all welcome.
Speaker 1:One of them, kind of like, hugs your leg and then they dart off, burns through your, like leather I get to take off your hair.
Speaker 2:I get choked up because I think they're super cute. See, see, I think Bernard's on to something. He says you sure you don't need a bunch of NPC goos to join you and I'm like. I can't have one to join us.
Speaker 1:It's like future you.
Speaker 2:It's future us. I'm sending them there to hang out so that we can have a pirate ship filled with pirate goos. That's my dream. I don't understand. I didn't see that. No, that's that's. That's perfect. I think that's great. Like I love the idea of like goo on the seas. Do wait, does goo and water not mix, or anything like that. Is that a thing? Can it go underwater and retain its shape? Yeah, okay, all right, cool, cool. Think of it like a jellyfish.
Speaker 1:I see they get plus 40 underwater as you guys are walking away from the scene of the crime we like high five. You high five. And then Riley you, you cross paths with an old rival. Oh no, you see in front of you Brang Thurk. The Brang Thurk, that's true. Tell us about Brang.
Speaker 2:What did you do? Brang Thurk is a Dwarg miner back in River Country. He actually tried to sell us out to the Sarpathy. What If there's anybody, any Dwarg that knows what's going on with the Sarpathy? He might be the one. This guy was in Cajun. He's the Sarpathy. Why didn't you tell me?
Speaker 1:Look who. It is Surprised you're still alive.
Speaker 2:Well, well, well, brang Thurk, Immediately pull my sword out.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wouldn't do that. Pull it back in.
Speaker 2:Oh, I whistle for Claudia. I take out a stick of dynamite. Be like go for it.
Speaker 1:Like.
Speaker 2:Claudia appears on my shoulder with the fire spit lizard on her shoulder. It just keeps escalating.
Speaker 1:I think looking a little sickly like you're not feeding it.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, no, no, no. I fed him last night. Let me roll to see if he consumed anything. Nope, yeah, he had some Nacodonky. Yeah, we give him a Nacodonky tube stick every six weeks and it makes him gassy and it makes him more flammable. He loves it.
Speaker 1:What are you doing here? Getting into more trouble?
Speaker 2:What are you doing here? What's it to you?
Speaker 1:What am I doing here? I'm always here.
Speaker 2:Some people out to Sarpathy left and right.
Speaker 1:That was just a one time thing.
Speaker 2:One time thing, my butt. You hear about that Sarpathy. They're selling out here, selling.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got it all wrong, but I'm not going to tell you any more than that.
Speaker 2:OK, well you better, we can talk. Well, you know, maybe we should put our differences behind us. It was a long time ago that you were a jerk. I'll put my hand out to shake it, are friendly in the village.
Speaker 1:You made me look like an idiot multiple occasions.
Speaker 2:Just because I'm the better miner.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you made the foreman think that.
Speaker 2:Is this true, riley? Are you the better miner? I did little internal politics to get a raise. Before you know things went down.
Speaker 1:But maybe we could have a mine off A mine off.
Speaker 2:you say Right here, right now, first person to find the best item wins, I presume, as the tradition holds.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:I'll be like Kalen get ready to dump that star fell steel into a hole.
Speaker 1:I'd love to, I'd love to have a impartial third party to settle this dispute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know if it's a good idea to dump. That star fell in. I have another plan too, though. Is it Goose, mine treasure?
Speaker 1:Oh see, if we had the Goose with us, I'll go get the Corgan.
Speaker 2:The Corgan, billy Corgan, dunder, the Corgan, dunder, the Corgan Say Riley, what's a Corgan? I don't know. I don't know who he is. Oh okay, but something tells me he's not going to be impartial.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's the judge.
Speaker 2:He's Judge, judy and executioner. Could we use Laura to figure out who Dunder the Corgan is? Yeah, I've heard of him.
Speaker 1:Oh nice.
Speaker 2:I'll make a Laura check. Do it, hugh Laurie, hugh Laurie. Yeah, it's only a six. It's not bad. I feel like I've heard of this guy before.
Speaker 1:Well, you haven't heard specifically of the person, but you know what a Corgan is. Oh, it's an old Dwork who has accomplished much in Dwork life society and they're kind of like the old wise person of your gurg who settles disputes, which is like daily.
Speaker 2:Hmm, okay, this might be fairish. Then, yeah, okay, good to know. Cool, I say well, yeah, that might work out, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:We'll do it tomorrow, all right.
Speaker 2:We'll do it tomorrow.
Speaker 1:And if you ain't there, you lose.
Speaker 2:Say what's on the line, I'll be there. I'll be there. Bring on her, she'll be there. All right, I'll make sure she's there. Yeah, that's kind of like said I wanted to mine off right now, that's fine. I'd say tomorrow morning We've got an appointment. Anyway. Man, we got to go see about the secret creatures sales. That will definitely not take the next half hour. Yeah right, it's a trap. It's like immediately going to be captured and sold.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and look every time we encounter a Gorg, they try to sell us. Yeah, brang buys us, and then we become his mining slaves. Cool, so let's head to the outskirts of town. Yeah, the outskirga goods.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you get to the outskirts of town. You're waiting around and Riley your initial thoughts. You kind of get in your gut feeling that you might be correct. You're not a fishie. You notice four dwargs like coming out of the shadows towards you.
Speaker 2:I am sitting on the back of my tortoise, just for the sake of the block there, you know yeah, yeah. I just want to have the block going for me. Fb's got a nicely shine show. She's looking beautiful. It's glinting in the moonlight. She's an intimidating Gorg tortoise.
Speaker 1:I'm going to Actually you know what?
Speaker 2:I'm going to go right up to the four dwargs and be like we should have brought six.
Speaker 1:Those gold words. I'm just going to stay around where you don't belong and we're going to take care of that.
Speaker 2:Are golds as good as anyone's?
Speaker 1:We don't want your gold, we don't want your kind here.
Speaker 2:Oh, so it's racism that drives you, I see. It's cultural you guys are just xenophobic, you know.
Speaker 1:Look, you're causing problems coming here.
Speaker 2:I don't know what problems have we caused since we've been here. We're just asking questions. We're trying to get to the bottom of this threat that you know endangers all of the Mucklins.
Speaker 1:You talk, other people talk, starts rumors going.
Speaker 2:Not if we can hold a keep a secret as well as you can. We've got a few secrets of our own Zoni and Box writing down. They are very good at keeping secrets, I think.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, what kind of secrets.
Speaker 2:If I told you, then they wouldn't be a secret.
Speaker 1:Oh, if I killed you they would be secrets. So I'll do it right now.
Speaker 2:You can't argue that logic.
Speaker 1:So it might be in your best interest for me to kill you Keep on your mind.
Speaker 2:I can sort of follow your logic there.
Speaker 1:They'll brandish their weapons.
Speaker 2:Now get them.
Speaker 1:Would you like to make a sort of pointed parley tactic here, like a specific?
Speaker 2:You mean like a non attacking parley tactic?
Speaker 1:I mean something that, like, would actually strike a deal with them, or something.
Speaker 2:I don't know, I should have leveled up. Okay, I might as well intimidate, but I have a decent intimidate idea.
Speaker 1:What's your intimidate idea?
Speaker 2:I could imagine I was just going to riff off of you and be like, hey, galen, like you know, like I really wish this was going to be more than a challenge, more of a challenge. Well, darr and the hammer were nothing. Can you imagine how easy these guys are going to be? Maybe they've heard of well, darr and the hammer, that's possible. Do you want to go down that route and like try to intimidate them, or you want to? I'm like a two and a half foot tall, yeah.
Speaker 1:I was.
Speaker 2:I think I'm going to try to war stories on role plus lore, to tell a story about your past adventures or a war history to help your situation. I'll say what we have here is a good old fashioned work standoff. Yeah, I remember back before hearing a story about back before Crogland was built. There's a big ruckus in the underlands, and overlanders like ourselves and underlanders like yourselves came together to drive back a common menace. Now it strikes me as such that the this, our path, might be a common menace that we should be aligning ourselves against and, if you want, maybe we can work together to preserve your Yerga Gergian way of life. Keep our land safe while we're at it.
Speaker 1:Yerga Gergian. Yeah, make your check. Man, Hold on before you make the check.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sorry, I took off my big boy rules. Is your role ready? Yeah, it's going to be a six after he's the quest point. That's not. I'm sorry, dude, that's not awful.
Speaker 1:What were you going to do, James?
Speaker 2:I was going to give him a given ally advantage on a role. That's fine.
Speaker 1:You can try.
Speaker 2:I appreciate that. Roll a D, roll a D12. I failed to even give you advantage on the role. Get advantage for me. No, now I think this, the six might be enough to start a conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do you think yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I said, look, we don't solve anything with bloodshed, and after what we did to weld there on the hammer those film log nights, I don't want more bloodshed on our hands. Intimidate, intimidate, perfect, perfect.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, we haven't really resolved.
Speaker 2:He's doing a deadly combo here.
Speaker 1:I love it.
Speaker 2:What do you think, Ben? I'm primed. I'm going to try to intimidate them because I think they're bandits and thugs, right?
Speaker 1:No, they're not. They are no okay.
Speaker 2:That's fine, we'll resolve this.
Speaker 1:The first situation, kind of saying the opposite, right.
Speaker 2:Let's work together and then, when that gets a direct Marshall, I was saying this is, this is the way the bullets you know.
Speaker 1:Oh, all right, that didn't work Well, one of them, you know, tells the others to stand down and he says All right, you're against a SAR path. He then we can agree on that.
Speaker 2:I say that's amazing. I was sure if who you were in league with, we were so concerned about the SAR path is out, is that we've seen in the past. Not to mention, I was a little prejudice against Dwork's because a guy named brain third, he tried to sell us out to the SAR path. He when we were kids Bring.
Speaker 1:Third, that guy's a jerk yeah he is. We all like laugh. Look, I'll take you to see the specimen. We have to give up your weapons.
Speaker 2:I say how can I give up that which I am? Wow, didn't even ended in a preposition. I feel really proud of myself. I'll be like I'm willing to do that. And then I'll drop the sling on the ground and be like, oh man, drop my bracelet and like, wrap it around my, my wrist to try to sneak it in Trick tricking. Yeah, I'm going to do trickery on this, come on. Come on, plus one.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's a nice bracelet, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, genuine laterals. Wow, how it zails. Is now canon Like that's. That's a thing, right?
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to use like my bull workness.
Speaker 2:To strike a deal, I say look I, I'm a bull work, I'm honorable. I promise you there'll be no bloodshed until we mutually agree to it, Thank you. If the deal falls apart and until we all have a chance to separate and reconvene and I hold out my arm- All right, he shakes your hand.
Speaker 1:It's kind of weird, though mutually agree to bloodshed.
Speaker 2:I mean, you know that. That way, you know that I'm not gonna suddenly shed your blood and I hope that you're not gonna suddenly shed my blood. We would have an agreement, say, all right, we'll come back, we'll fight, do the thing where you show up, you start snapping, you know, like jets and sharks. Riley's gonna be like geez, there's a lot of rules when you're a bull.
Speaker 1:They take you To outside of your giggag. There's a tent that's kind of like hidden behind some hills and and you see a cage, or actually you see, um, an ox. That's outside the tent and they bring you into this tent. You see a wild-eyed like circus man, dunlop the ringmaster. He's in his like ringmaster clothes that are all soiled and dirty.
Speaker 2:Look, it's okay. Can Drilla sent us to talk with you.
Speaker 1:She's worried about you and the door you're with explains Kind of the situation to him. You also see, in the back, in the darkness of this tent, the, the cage on wheels and there's the Sarpathy zeal, the prophet, who's slumped in the darkness. He looks like he's wasting away and. He has three eyes that you see like blinking.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. Wow, is the other like the other eyes, like we're on the top of his head?
Speaker 1:No, it's just like oh.
Speaker 2:It's in a like blinky the fish from the Simpsons. Yeah, yeah, can always reduce something to a cultural trope. I say, is that really? Is that really zeal?
Speaker 1:So out his name.
Speaker 2:That's what we've been told. We have reason to believe that and this creature is a prophet amongst the Sarpathy, and that it may have valuable information that could help us defeat them.
Speaker 1:You will never learn anything from me.
Speaker 2:Didn't you know? Send we tell it to like be quiet. We'd like to Interrogate the creature.
Speaker 1:Look, this was a mistake for you to come here and find me like this. I don't care what great gingerilla said, I mean the Sarpathy after me. I mean I had a run, went running with them already and I barely got out alive.
Speaker 2:Look, yeah, good, maybe. So Pathy want to rescue their prophet and maybe we let him do it and follow it back to their lair. Oh, I thought you're gonna trust me up as a Sarpathy and have them rescue me. I'm I'm trying to whisper this, not in front of this serpent guy, okay.
Speaker 1:Why'd you bring these guys here? Okay, they just spout more your, your bull crap. Okay, I say no, no no, I'm a bull work.
Speaker 2:I'm not a bull crap.
Speaker 1:You're getting the idea that these fords works. Might have been talking similar ideas to To Dunlop, but Dunlop is more interested in the money this guy brings and he says, look, we just need to let this blow over, we'll move the circus to. You know, the quagmash or something. Fleabag County.
Speaker 2:I say the Yorkshire's have no money in the quagmash and the Sarpathy are everywhere. Yeah, they're never gonna stop looking for you. You're only safe if you hand over a zeal to us.
Speaker 1:How much you willing to pay for him.
Speaker 2:We got the Starfell man, that's we could give him that. I don't know. I don't like the idea of us having all the heat on us. Suddenly, when we have like Like we lose Starfell, we gain, like the ire, even further ire of their Sarpathy and for all we know they can smell them out With some weird Sarpathy connection. I Don't know. I ask I I turn to the other fords works and I say, well, you guys have obviously tried to buy this, the odd thing off him, have you? What have you tried to tell him? I mean what seems like we're all in the same page here. This is about the bigger picture. This is about the Mucklins. It's not about you know us or you, or money or whatever.
Speaker 1:The asking price is insane. What he's? He wants ancient coins.
Speaker 2:Ancient coins, ancient coins. Where do we even get an ancient coin?
Speaker 1:Old treasure hordes. Unless, you got a mountain of gold we had one.
Speaker 2:I've knocked him over the head and taking that wheelbrick. What if we could bring you a mountain of gold? You're asking Dunlop that yeah you're not gonna trade on the map, are you? No, okay, but there is a treasure on terror island. Are we high enough level to go to terror island?
Speaker 1:yet we will be the other one. The other Dwarves here you talking about terror island, like, look, whatever happens needs to happen. Now the Sarpathy are coming. If you leave to terror island and get whatever Ancient coins, whatever you think is there, dunlop's gonna be dead. I.
Speaker 2:Say I turn to Dunlop and I say you hear that they're gonna kill you know? I say look, they were all over dunk. They came to the circus there. They can sniff you out. They probably can sense where this guy is. How can you even keep yourself safe? You're gonna live your life on the run and you're gonna endanger every Dwarg in this town. How can you be so selfish when you claim to care about your people?
Speaker 1:Make a make an inspire check.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna pep talk him.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say you're at disadvantage because he's just a horrible he's a horrible person, my.
Speaker 2:So if I use pep top to give him advantage, will it even it out? Yeah, okay, if I was like Galen, everything you're saying is true. He's got to believe you.
Speaker 1:You must believe attempt.
Speaker 2:My second pep talk, second pep talk of the evening. Yes, I can feel the pep in my step. I succeed. So you are not disadvantaged or advantaged, you are regular by the power of Bernard. I roll these dice. I Said don't count luck. That's me really All right. So it's a failure, but it has a plus, right? Yes, Hmm, failure with a bus, maybe. Maybe the plus is that he's greedy, but Something about we, maybe we can help him out a different way, like his family's been captured or like you know. That's part of why he has such a hated vendetta.
Speaker 1:He's great, he's in debt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's in huge debt with somebody big and bad, and the reason is. I like that idea. I say it's not a bad idea.
Speaker 1:Okay, what was the? What were you know?
Speaker 2:finished that thought he's no, I had no idea outside of that, just like, maybe he's in debt and that's why he's so greedy, yeah, so Maybe we could take. So, ben, I guess you could go either way with it, right, like he has debt that we might try to quest and solve, or he has another reason that for holding on to this our path. He besides money Because he's either like hurting from them taking away something from him and he's trying to replace it with gold, or he's just terrible greedy man. He has tons of debt.
Speaker 1:Let's let's say debt. He is in massive debt and Trying to think of a good yeah, let's, let's try.
Speaker 2:We should just roll it. Roll it randomly, let the dice decide.
Speaker 1:I mean like a random NPC.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe that'll give some inspiration. And if you want to buy time, you should just pull up the random NPC table and show to people.
Speaker 1:All right, that's 39, 36.
Speaker 2:I think I got to go. It all comes around in the end, man, madam mob, ceo of subterranean pits and layers LLC. And that's what you call a call back. Oh, that's a callback. You gotta just gotta trust the dice and the randomness. Man, george, we should go to someone who could sign the debt over to us in Irma gurg. That okay, like officially. Yeah, we hold the note. Yeah, I would do that.
Speaker 1:Kirk, the Kirk could do that for you the Kirk, kirk so them.
Speaker 2:And then, madam all was in skill. Be so surprised when we own the note that that yeah, we got. We how much how much debt are we talking here? Ancient coins is crazy.
Speaker 1:Well, I Ran into some trouble a while back. You know, some manta course got loose, you might.
Speaker 2:Prefer the gender neutral person to course.
Speaker 1:I don't know what she's talking about.
Speaker 2:I don't know that. That's what the manta actually stands for.
Speaker 1:Oh, and well, as I was saying, they kind of did a number on Beesle Burr and junk town and it was a whole thing and there were about 40 lawsuits put against me and and was insky helped me pay it off, but now I owe her, you know, an astronomical amount. Well, I think of a circus. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:No, I don't know what you mean. I do okay, riley does, I'm a capable of understanding. I don't really. I'm just saying I'm so happy because I really didn't. I know what's going on anymore. No, but we, yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if I'm being totally transparent, I Used to work for Crog.
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:My circus was technically owned by Crog.
Speaker 2:You guys are based out of Crog. Hey, you guys didn't lose a werewolf, did you? Yeah that's the one Makes so much sense. Now, the werewolf of Crogland.
Speaker 1:I was hoping that would just kind of blow over.
Speaker 2:No, no, he's terrorizing Crogland. He took out most of a traveling group of musicians. Yeah, he chased us for a hex. Yeah, for a hex. I.
Speaker 1:Heck, heck there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like a heck there, but it's a heck Okay. So I kind of like where this is going. We're gonna assume his debt. I Say well, well, you got to give us something, yet you know anything about Crogland that we might be able to sell the SPL or the Crog and sons. I mean, you got to have some information. Anything if there's a.
Speaker 2:Relationship with Madame off was in ski. Yeah, so we may be maybe able to help you out here. If there's something that you know these companies value, it's it's espionage and information on the other companies.
Speaker 1:I mean there's tons of stuff on Crog but he's just got a team of lawyers and it's impossible to Get him on anything. Yeah, I mean, his whole Way of life is a farce, you know. I mean he didn't actually Build anything from the ground up. You know, he has that museum at Crogland where it shows his whole life. It's all a lie. He didn't find anything.
Speaker 2:It's like back to the future, ever a minor I. Love wait. So he's just built on false promises, this entire company.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he just manipulates and exploits workers, takes all the credit for himself.
Speaker 2:I mean at least SPL is. You know, they make Subterranean pits and layers like they have a product that they can stand behind, but Crog, I mean, it's just a bunch of malarkey. Don't say that word. It's God, it's vulgar. Well yeah, malarkey.
Speaker 1:Exactly and Well. Thanks for taking my dad. It's a big load off my shoulders.
Speaker 2:Alright, yeah, the cage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got to go get this an olderized, of course.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got to go to the curb and have a. We got that mine off the. I've got a mine off with the curd so we can On top of each other. I guess I'm feeling the stress of it all now she's.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean you're gonna be paying this off for the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:So yeah, however long that is wait.
Speaker 1:No, I just insulted myself, yeah you know, if you die in the Sarpathy caves or wherever you're going, I mean, then more power to you.
Speaker 2:All right, let's do it. Just go get this an olderized. And I got to win this mine off. All right, how amazing would it be if, if, as the mine off, you put up like the, the debt, and then this other guy might inherit it. Let's raise the stakes, spring, okay.
Speaker 1:What? What do you want to do with zeal at the moment?
Speaker 2:kill. Can we Ask the other Dwargs that are anti Sarpathy to guard him while we get this an olderized and then we're gonna take him out of the town?
Speaker 1:Can't really wheel it around like look, I don't want to be crass, but you're gonna have to pay us to do that.
Speaker 2:That is kind of crass. And they're saying you don't want to be crass, but doing a good job of it. I said, look, we got all this. What if, look, we're a little tight on cash? What if we pay you in in food? We have all this clam. Clam to you came. I'm a really good. Bread back in like half hour we got bandy clamp based bread. They're delicious, they're nutritious. I like four loaves. We just need you to watch it for a bit and I'll feed you. Got a point, boss, I'm starving.
Speaker 1:All right, fine, we'll take the bread.
Speaker 2:All right, I give them all four of our clamp based bread. If they roll a one while eating it, they get the squirts. Ben has to roll for that. Yeah it, it needs to be rolled it. I Think it actually would be a d6 one because I'm playing. One guy was really close, though you can feel it, the fuck. How horrible would it be To like the seal escaping because man worth it would be worth it was your interpretation?
Speaker 1:like rolling the consumable, like usage.
Speaker 2:Yes, that was my thought. All right, only only one guy. Bad, bad clamps.
Speaker 1:I got a bad clamp.
Speaker 2:Just hear him. Hear him wailing through the crescent. That is classic land of him.
Speaker 1:Back at the Kurg back at the Kurg. Do you want to do this today? You have time, it's up to you, james.
Speaker 2:Um, let's, let's do it, let's do this today, and then we can wrap it up. Wrap it up.
Speaker 1:Okay, there's going to be a Mine off man, so I made a mistake. The Kurg of the Overdwork is actually Mandra Muntred. Ah, she and she comes out. Mm-hmm, yeah, a staff. She bangs it on the ground. She says there is a mine off. A Mine off has been called.
Speaker 2:Gonna mine off.
Speaker 1:Everyone gathers round.
Speaker 2:Are you gonna try to give this guy your gut? I'm going to jack of all trades and be like boy. It's been a long time since I was a miner, but I hope I remember how to mine. It's been into my hands. Say, ben, do we see where they're mining? Is it like a kind of a quarry or something?
Speaker 1:You're gonna have to walk to an outside quarry when these types of things happen okay, once we get there, I'm gonna use an ability. The whole crowd follows you. It's like the whole town is being evacuated.
Speaker 2:We could have stolen the goose now. That's cool, all right. So us, in a group of like a billion Dwargs. They circled the the edge of the quarry and they watch. They're all watching and looking down. It's almost like an amphitheater. The the two miners walk out into the, the midst of the pile of rocks, Surveying the land as they go everyone cheers for brain thirk.
Speaker 2:Don't cheer for him. I Say Riley, riley, you know, surveying the land, I remember a couple things he taught me and using my discerning eye, I can see that that's a pretty weak part of earth right there in that rock wall, and I bet you there's a vein underneath it. I'm gonna use discerning eye to create a weakness or vulnerability for narrative purposes. That's a 13.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes yes, okay, you're gonna be rolling Wilderness to. Hmm it's basically finding resources, gathering materials. Hmm, you will have plus one to your checks and Whoever it's the best stuff after three rounds of finding things will win.
Speaker 2:Okay, here we go. I'm plus three, george, right nice nice, you got this, riley, you got this. Yeah, I'm not even a bother inspiring you, because max is plus three.
Speaker 1:Come on, riley, so first round Six.
Speaker 2:Oh 15, I think, yeah, I think. In the first round, riley pulls out a gleaming jewel Just saying you can say what you want, you're the GM.
Speaker 1:You can roll it on the elemental component table. Amazing D12. Yeah For someone. Want to handle that. You're going to the table right now.
Speaker 2:Yep, so random, random component table, elemental components from the. What region are we in? I'm sure be downs. Drip it down. Okay, so we are need a four as a cumbersome, and you needed a three-band or no.
Speaker 1:No, I just he just got. He gathered three materials and James get pro D6 as well.
Speaker 2:Okay, so two X cumbersome.
Speaker 1:Two materials. All right second round, not doing too hard away.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh four, it's a four.
Speaker 1:Can you use a?
Speaker 2:re-roll on yourself.
Speaker 1:No, okay, so you did not get anything.
Speaker 2:Still not getting anything Six materials.
Speaker 1:This is the last round. All right, here we go.
Speaker 2:Seven.
Speaker 1:All right, you both get materials. Seven materials total for this guy.
Speaker 2:Yes, four Some cumbersomes. Maybe that puts us over the top. I have six materials and one cumbersome.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're essentially tied, but the cumbersome is worth more. So you win the mine off.
Speaker 2:I hold up the cumbersome, like to the crowd, like furiously, like ha, oh, oh. And Riley held up this stone. I don't understand. It looked kind of heavy. It's very porous. I'd see no value. It has no nutrients in it. I would not take pleasure from planting my roots in it.
Speaker 1:You both go before the the Kurg who says Riley the shrimp, you have won the mine off. This matter is settled. You are the superior miner once. Yes.
Speaker 2:I love it. Let it be known that Brang Thurk is a jerk.
Speaker 1:Bernard says cucumber stone and that's really good he has been disgraced, strip him of his gear, sent him back to the underlands. This is the way Hilarious.
Speaker 2:It becomes a montage of the Kurg, like hammering on a forge, like the Yardware Later.
Speaker 1:Brang, no, no, you can't do this to me.
Speaker 2:You did this to yourself, Brang.
Speaker 1:No, he's dragged away Naked.
Speaker 2:No one wants to see a naked Dwork, but we all just did. It's horrible.
Speaker 1:You can't see anything because they are massive mustaches, beards just cover everything.
Speaker 2:I'm going to do a very like Home Alone Macaulay Culkin, like, yes, hey, good stream guys, I'll see you later. That was awesome, man, I'm so glad you won that mine off. I was freaking out, I was sweating, I had some good dice rolls, some bad dice rolls and lots of…. The cumbersome one was critical. Yeah, critical cumbersome, critical cumbersome it was. It was a 15. It's my favorite actor, his critical cumbersome, wow, wow.
Speaker 1:The Kurg. I guess I assume you bring up the idea. Yeah, the notion of the notarization.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we say that as part of the wager for this mine off. Brang has accepted the debt of Dunlock, that wasn't…. That's our objective is to kick him while he's down, never recover.
Speaker 1:You would have to trick the Kurg, and that's a disadvantage.
Speaker 2:Let's get a notarized steel. We have him. Yeah, no, it's fine we have steel. Yeah, all right, we have an evil prisoner, accept. All right, we got to get notarized. Make a notary check.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that will be a fee, just notarization fee. It'll cost silver coins.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll do it. I got the two silver poochers.
Speaker 1:Will she take the?
Speaker 2:cumbersome. Would she take the cumbersome instead? I think I have some chip, dunmite Dunmite chip. Or is the cumbersome more valuable than that?
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Has sentimental value. I mean, she presided over a mine off. Oh, cumbersome is really good. Oh, yeah, Maybe we keep it. Beastly weapons that are plus two dread oh, keep it. Keep it. Plus one item slot because they're heavier. That's okay. Yeah, no, I mean we should hold on to it. Spend some silver, I mean I'm sure it's going to be fine. There's no possible way that I'm going to roll a one on a 12 and spend the whole pouch at once.
Speaker 1:I'm being a DA.
Speaker 2:No possible way, I'm going to roll a one on a DA Ah six. So we have multiple. Yeah, so so it becomes two silver pouches, two copper pouches now.
Speaker 1:Just one copper pouch.
Speaker 2:Oh, just downgrades entirely. Okay, okay, got it. So we have one gold, one silver, two copper, three rations in Akadonki fire stick lizard who's constantly consuming things. Thank, claudia. And zoning bug Mm-hmm and a bunch of goot waiting for us on a pirate ship.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, if they didn't get eaten by Etans on the way.
Speaker 2:I mean they're just going to dissolve their way through the yetan's stomach. That's fine. The goot just comes out and gets around, yeah how many goos may there be picked off by the wariness as they travel across the islands. They should have stayed with us.
Speaker 1:Just like carried off by a squawk.
Speaker 2:No, walter Ben, can one of the goos come like crawling out from inside my tour as a shell? Like it didn't want to go, it stayed with us the whole time. Um so if you say no, I'm not going to be.
Speaker 1:Just take no on that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be with this kind.
Speaker 2:I understand.
Speaker 1:Uh, so we should probably end it there Um wait real quick, Can we resolve?
Speaker 2:uh, can we resolve the one? We're getting this quartz.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you go back to get zeal, and there's only three of them.
Speaker 2:What happened in the fourth guy? He didn't make it. Three's frame on a on a it's like oh see, all credits. Yeah, that's all I needed. That's the kind of closure I needed.
Speaker 1:He didn't make it.
Speaker 2:I had clamps.
Speaker 1:He had cramps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, clamp cramps.
Speaker 1:Bandy cramps. Bandy cramps should be uh, uh should be some sort of a core center and curse cramps.
Speaker 2:I love that idea. One and six chance.
Speaker 1:Okay, uh you, you accomplished the quest of getting zeal and finding Dunlok. You solved a problem creatively, you explored a new location, you encountered a new creature. Is that true?
Speaker 2:The goose, the goo.
Speaker 1:I guess that's true, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:We never, never encountered a bubble goo before.
Speaker 1:Had a significant encounter with an NPC. Yes, yes, that's five XPs, nice Um individual stuff. Did you do that?
Speaker 2:James did or Riley did, rather, Um I mean.
Speaker 1:I think um you pursued, pursued your personal quest yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what? I take it back. I think I I dealsed. I rescued someone from danger with the goo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bye, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:No, it's not. It's not. Yeah, Riley's personal quest Um Riley's rival too.
Speaker 1:Riley's rival Rival.
Speaker 2:Cool. Um yeah, actually we both advanced our personal quest. Is that what you meant? Sorry, I'm just thinking of Riley.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:This is our Pathy, all right Cool.
Speaker 1:I've got a lot of.
Speaker 2:XPs. It's like 40 XP. I've got 40 XP also. No, it's, I think. Well, Ben, how many was that? Is that eight? I'm sorry, that's counting. I have seven for me. I think it's six plus. Okay, six plus that's good. I have 35. I hope I've got to spend some XP on like some skills I could level. Yeah, we keep promising we're going to update our character sheets. This time Mike's been crazy. Nope, I'm not promising that. I will do it tomorrow.
Speaker 2:I will very much try to, though. Yes, cool, cool, cool, awesome. Well, I want to thank everyone for joining us.
Speaker 1:Bernard, you also have great week yeah.
Speaker 2:I would appreciate you joining us on these adventures. Yeah, same. Thanks everybody for joining us for another land of EAM session. We'll be back next Saturday and probably going to be sharing a little bit more about our upcoming Spur of the moment, a zine quest Kickstarter. That's going to have some fun. I'm going to be back next week and then we'll be talking about the new project and the new product. The new product, the new project, is called Zine Quest Kickstarter.
Speaker 1:It's going to have some fun tip top role playing stuff for the land of EAM or any system.
Speaker 2:So yeah, sure.
Speaker 1:System neutral adventure in System.
Speaker 2:You know it's just got no allegiances. I feel like system neutral is the more common expression. I didn't know there was an expression. That's true, I had it too. I had it too, it's your gun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're dead, George.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, it's fine. It's fine. You know what it was. It was punishment. Also punishment, max Cramps. He got the bandy cramps, yeah, and you rolled a one. It's like the equivalent of the clumps the bandy cramps. Find out more about the clumps on next week's episode, guys, thanks very much, all right.
Speaker 1:All right, see you next week. Take it easy, guys. Bye, bye.